shahronak47

[shahronak47]

Why did I move back to India?

So after 7 years staying in Malaysia. I recently moved back to India, my home country. This was a very difficult decision but here I want to document the things that contributed to this decision. The order is not based on importance but it is random as and when I thought about it.

This was always the plan When I came to Malaysia, in my mind I had decided that I would be in Malaysia for 2-3 years and then come back. I had never been outside Pune. Not for studies, not for job so I was always in my comfort zone in Pune and at my home. Going to Malaysia was a completely new experience and an opportunity for me to grow which I did but that is not something which I want to be permanent. I always wanted to come back, the only thing which was not decided was when? While leaving I had an estimate of 2-3 years but ultimately it became around 7 years.

Parents Being the only son it is kind of my responsibility to take care of my parents. My parents aren't too old. My dad and mom are currently 58 and 57 respectively. They can still manage on their own and they have never told us to leave everything and come back just for them. However, this is something which was always there at the back of my mind. I don't want to continue staying outside and then forcefully come back when it's too late. I want to spend some quality time with them when they are still comparatively healthy.

My priority Recently, I had sat down and had built a list of things that is my priority at this point in my time. The number one thing that came out to be important for me was Freedom. Freedom of choosing where I want to live, freedom of doing the work that I want to do, basically me having more control on my life. After freedom came money and other stuff. Being in any other country gives me the money but takes away my freedom. Yes, there was a point in my life where money was the top priority for me and at that time it did make sense for me to trade anything for money but now time has changed. Now, I am not willing to trade my freedom for anything.

The normal This might be a bit difficult to explain but let me try. When I moved to Malaysia I wanted to come out of my comfort zone to see what is going on in another part of the world. How they lived, how they behave etc and don't get me wrong, I learned a lot. Malaysia has helped me achieve so many things and changed my life for good. However, the normal for people over there is quite different than normal of people in India. For example, - it is normal to not value money and buy a lot of things that we are not going to use - it is normal to do impulsive shopping when you are just strolling around in mall and had no intention to buy anything when you entered the mall - it is normal to do selectively easy things that your religion tells you to do (puja, aarti) but not do the difficult things that the same religion tells you to do (fasting). - It is normal to eat food from outside 2-3 times a week and not exercise. and the list goes on. I am not generalizing this for Malaysians but this was true for the people who were close to us which were mostly expat Indians. I do realize, we should not get impacted by the people surrounding us and should continue living our life on our own terms. However, believe it or not our surroundings do impact us subconsciously. There are so many things which I did not do when I came to Malaysia and resisted for a very long time but after 7 years I see myself changing few of the things automatically because all the people around me were doing it and I don't want to change my "normal".

I love my country. I think everyone does like me. Whenever, there is an introduction that I have to give at work or at any place I always mention. "Hi, my name is Ronak Shah and I am from India". I always had the connection of doing good for the country in whatever way possible. Like if I have a job here, I pay my taxes here which benefits the country, if I stay here I spend here mostly food, clothing and all other items that I buy which helps the local economy. I want to contribute to India success story in some way or the other even if my contribution is very small.

New family And finally, this might be the most important thing in this list. We are going to have a wonderful baby soon and we think that being in India is the best for the baby. As per us, the environment, the people and the "normal" in India is the best for the upcoming baby.

There will be times maybe after 1 month, 1 year or 10 years when I might look back and question my decision "Was I right in moving back to India when everything was going on so well there?" and this post is a reminder for me as to why I took the decision to move back. I do understand that there will be challenges here as well, but let me spend some time, then I will write about those challenges as well and then we can compare if I still agree that it was the right decision to move back here and if we are in net positive overall.

#malaysia #india #moving #relocation #expats #expatlife

[shahronak47]

Thank you, Malaysia!

A 26 year old boy who has stayed in the one city all his life, one day decides to leave not only his city but his country all together to embark upon a journey in a completely new country where he knows no one. All he has is this new job and flight ticket to a country he has only heard of. He has so many questions on his mind.

Is this company genuine ?

I have heard stories of foreign worker exploitation. What if this company takes away my passport on the first day and make me their slave?

Being vegetarian, will I get decent vegetarian food to eat there?

Where will I stay?

Will I like this new job?

....and so many other questions.

Yes, you guessed it right. This boy is no other than me.

Now looking back, I find myself a bit naive to come to a new country without doing any kind of research. But that naivety and blind trust really has helped me a lot.

My first impression of Malaysia was very good as I was impressed with tall buildings, wide roads, clean surroundings and discipline in traffic. It was a very good learning experience working at a place where there were people from 30 different nationality. Before coming here, I didn't interact much with people from different country and what little I did was very awkward and low in confidence. This was the company where I was regularly interacting with foreigners. I went from being awkward and shy, to talking regularly with them and also making friendships with so many of them. We all exchanged our cultures and traditions with each other and learned a lot from each other.

Since I was very new to this place and had no friends and family I got a lot of time to be with myself. I started to know myself a bit more. I started understanding what I like, what I don't like, how I like etc. It was a truly a defining moment for me. I was discovering myself and it is this phase which actually also defined my career at large. It also gave me the confidence to follow and do things that I love.

I did lot of things on my own like cooking, washing utensils, washing clothes etc. I had never done these things but now since I am staying alone I have to do all of these. Two years in Malaysia and I got married with the love of my life and it was also made possible because I had came to Malaysia. This is a story of it's own which I may or may not share on a public platform.

In these 7 years, I worked with two companies and they have shaped me in different ways. It was also during these 7 years I got an opportunity to work with World Health Organization (WHO) and World Bank (WB) which is an achievement of it's own.

I made some wonderful friends here. Friends that are as good as family and some of them will stay with us forever.

So many things that I owe to Malaysia. Now that I am ending my journey here, I want to say thank you to Malaysia for being so kind and patient with me. Truly, thank you so much. Now to summarize I just want to include some highlights of my 7 years here. All of these observations are compared to my home country India.

Unique Malaysian Things :

Malaysia consists of 3 races majorly. Malaysian, Chinese and Indian (Tamil) and all of them live with peace and harmony.

Malaysian are very patient in general. In an intersection, they will allow other cars to pass first, allowing pedestrians to cross, patiently waiting for someone to pay their parking ticket while in queue and so many other examples.

They are very disciplined drivers as well. They do follow traffic rules.

Malaysia is very safe. You can forget something somewhere and most of the times you will find that thing at same place even after 24 hours.

Food choices of various range. I have had lunch/dinner for 5 RM with a drink and also 100 RM. You can get food according to your budget.

Random Acts of Kindness :

Driver who returned my mobile after I forgot it in the cab.

Stranger who payed for pay and use toilet fee for my mom when my parents were visiting us in Malaysia and I wasn't around to pay.

Two random girls who helped my parents to self check-in their luggage at the airport when they were returning back.

Things Malaysia can improve upon :

Quality of things are not that up-to the mark. We had 5 Gas Lighters in 5 years whereas in India home we are still using a single lighter for 20 years. Toilet jet spray was replaced 4 times in 5 years, whereas in India we haven't changed the jet spray in 15 years.

Too much of single-use plastic. Most of the grocery store charge 0.20 RM for the bags and some of them still give free of charge but still it is too much of plastic and should be banned.

If I had to start over in Malaysia what would I do differently?

Driving - I started driving in Malaysia in my last year but it would have been very helpful if I had learned it earlier. There were few places that we didn't go because there was no reliable way to reach there using public transport or by cab.

Learning Malay - It would have really helped me in various situations to communicate with locals in the language that they are comfortable in.

As my journey ends here and the new one resumes in India I want to say Terima Kasih, Malaysia. See you again!

#malaysia #travel #expats #expatlife #grateful

[shahronak47]

Say no to "YES" Rentals

We had recently been to New Zealand and the trip was awesome. Unfortunately, our trip ended on a bitter note. Self drive is the easiest way to explore New Zealand, I believe. We had rented our vehicle from Yes Rentals, Queenstown branch. They gave us Toyota Aqua Hybrid which had almost completed 80k kms but still was well maintained.

We stayed in Christchurch for 3 days and on one of the day while I was taking reverse in the parking, the car got slightly hit on the back. Since I was in the parking area I was slow and thankfully it did not damage a lot. I had completely forgotten about it until the last day when I came back to Yes rentals to return the car. The operator there noticed the scratch and immediately called it out.

This is the scratch

I said, ok, yes, the scratch was my mistake so I need to pay for it. I went in the office, the operator took the photo of it and sent it to his manager. He said I need to check with my boss to know how much needs to be paid. We waited for a while and the operator said you need to deposit 1000 NZD. We will check how much the cost of fix would be and return the remaining amount to you in 7-10 working days. I was shocked, I mean definitely it was not worth 1000$. It was such a simple scratch but then I thought it must be their process of taking this minimum amount irrespective of the severity of the damage so I just complied.

They asked me to fill up some form. Based on the questions in the form it was to be filled when you met with an accident. It asked when did accident occur, did you call the police etc. I definitely did not call police because of a scratch on my car :P It was end of our trip and I felt really bad to pay 1000$ for a scratch that could have been avoided. However, we had a flight to catch so we left anyway. On the airport, I thought I should have told them to take 100$ or 500$ max and should not have accepted the 1000$ that they asked me to pay upfront. After this thought, I felt more sad because I paid 1000$ + 2.5% transaction charge (25$) and I was also going to lose on exchange rate twice because of this too and fro money transfer. As I was feeling restless, I emailed them from the airport asking for estimate of the fix and how much time it will take to return the money. However, they didn't have answer to both of them.

I returned the car on 2nd March and it was 12th of March today but still there was no response from them so I send them an email asking the same question again where they mentioned that repairs are scheduled to be completed next week. I mean for me it is max 15 mins job to fix this. I think fix is a very big word for it, you can spray paint the car with the same color as your car and that's it. I am not sure why they are taking so long to "fix it".

Waited for another week and after few more follow ups invoice was generated and shared with me. You will not guess the amount they charged me to fix the scratch. The repair costed me 981.24$ . I cannot stress it enough on this 981$. I mean look at the scratch once again.

How can you attach 981$ to this? I mean I am angry and laughing at the same time. How dumb do you think I am? Definitely, me agreeing to deposit 1000$ for this little thing was not the smartest thing I did but charging 981$ for this scratch was stretched too far. They quietly returned me 18$ and said Thank you for choosing YES rentals.

Their detailed invoice looks like this :

I was actually out of words seeing this crazy invoice. I asked them to explain what does this "Real Bumper Panel Repair" mean and why is it 3 in quantity to which they replied that charge is based on 3 hours of repair work billed at 85$ per hour. They also invited me to cross verify these prices from reputable repair companies in Queenstown.

Me being a coder/developer have done quite a lot of freelance work and charging 85$/hour is not that uncommon in tech area but this 85$ for mechanic/auto technician is so much more. No offence to them but it is what it is. So I did some research as they had invited me to and found this

So from 26$ median range, they are charging me 85$. What are you fixing? NASA spaceships?

I get so hyper looking at this every time I remember it. We had lot of emails back and forth where they tried to explain me that Queenstown is an expensive place so rates are higher than rest of NZ etc. I said I understand that since I have stayed in both USA and Switzerland which are more expensive than NZ but still my head just cannot justify this 981$ for the scratch. I mean look at the scratch and put 981$ - this number against it to fix it. I simply can't accept it and the fact that you think this is "reasonable" is making my blood boil even more. I also told them that there is no way to verify these 3 hours. Who knows if you actually worked for 3 hours? Here number 3 was selected so that it solves the equation to come up with a number close to 1000$. If I had paid only 500$ upfront then hourly rate would have dropped to some less number, number of hours would be less as well and everything would be adjusted accordingly. Basically start working backwards (1000$) and find a way to produce a bill that fits the equation. 18$ were returned to make this look like a genuine company and not to make it an obvious scam.

My wife was waiting patiently till now but really got frustrated with these emails and gave them a 1 star on Google review to which they threw their standard reply. We understand your disappointment but you should drive safely and buy insurance from us (so that we can loot you further).

However, I was still fighting with them (over emails) about how non-sensical it was from them to charge me this much. On 20th of March I got an email from the manager of the Queenstown branch and she told me that she has looked into the matter closely and would like to offer me 150$ if I remove the negative review on Google (and also stopped emailing them).

So please if you are planning to go to NZ, use Yes Rentals!

Lol, you wish!! I told the manager the same thing. What you are charging me is completely unacceptable and does not make any sense. To which manager replies to me that we do not want be stuck in this unpleasant conversation, do we? Just take this 150$ and shut up. Obviously, I am paraphrasing this.

I have been keeping a watch on their Google review since my wife posted the negative review and after her review within 24 hours there were 7 , five star reviews. I doubt how many of them are genuine reviews. For me it felt that those reviews were there to cover up after her review. It achieved two objectives : 1. The newest reviews are the positive review 2. Overall average is maintained.

In the last 15 days, I have not seen their average rating move at all. It has been steady on 4.3 in spite of so many reviews. It looks as if they are trying to maintain that number by manipulating it. I know it is not difficult to buy reviews in this day and age.

I did not accept that 150$ as well because I don't think 830$ is reasonable amount for that scratch and additionally I wanted to write this post. Like their technicians, my hourly rate is very high as well and 150$ is definitely not going to cover it.

#travel #new zealand #scam alert

[shahronak47]

Trip to New Zealand - South Island.

After some (?) complications we finally were excited to travel to New Zealand. Our flight was one-stop flight, so we went from KL to Sydney and then from  Sydney to Queenstown. Enjoyed interacting with Sydney immigration officer, loved their accent. Surprisingly, no-one asked for transit visa in AUS nor even NZ visa when entering their country. Maybe they already have it in their record against our passport details. The view in Sydney to Queenstown flight was amazing. The sight of Remarkables mountain is breath taking.

It was summer in NZ and the first day sun set around 9.30 pm. It was very bright till that time. We had already booked car from Yes rentals.  They came for pickup at the airport and take us to their showroom. Completed formalities and drove away the car. After reaching to our destination, we unloaded our luggage and went for some Grocery shopping. The place where we were staying was a secluded area but at the same time the view from the top was awesome. Once it went dark it was very cold at night. First day driving in NZ was challenging. Still trying to understand the roads signs and rules.

DAY 1

We woke up a bit late and mostly relaxed in the first half of the day. It was raining when we woke up and the rain continued till around 2 pm. We left the home when it was raining and roamed around in Queenstown street. It has good restaurants and places to eat. St. Omer Park was next to it. The park has nice view of Lake Wakatipu has a long trail for a walk. Ate an ice cream at Patagonia, it was very different and tasty.

Brought some groceries from an Indian grocery shop and back to home.

Day 2

This was a very pleasant morning as the sun was out since morning.

Today we had to reach Te Anau which was 170 km from Queenstown. The best thing with NZ is there are lot of spots on the way where you can stop and enjoy the nature. In fact, there are road signs indicating that such stops are coming up in 2 kms etc. In the morning we went to Queenstown garden,  had coffee and breakfast there and continued our journey to Te Anau. Queenstown garden is very big and we also saw rose garden. Thanks to awesome climate we could enjoy the stunning views that NZ had to offer today. Turns out Queenstown garden is at the same place where we were yesterday but it was just another end of St . Omer park. Everyone was sunbathing in the garden. Next we went to Kingston lake park which was a refresh stop and lot of caravans were parked here. Some of them from overnight stay. It had lake as well and this time we dared and stepped in the lake. The water was freezing cold. The sun was out since morning and it was around 3 pm now but the water was dangerously cold. Couldn't be in the water for more than 5 seconds. We had our lunch here under the shade of tree and took rest.  I also read couple of chapters of the book I was reading.

Finally, we left for Te Anau at 4 pm and drove for an hour and half to reach here. The place that we were staying in Te anau was a quite neighborhood but it was so beautiful. As soon as we reached our stay we took a cup of coffee and straight went out for a walk to explore the neighborhood. Everyone had their own simple home with garden of its own and it was very beautiful. I mean in our 30-40 mins of strolling outside we only saw one old lady who had came out for walk. Didn't saw any other human on the road there. It was very empty but we loved it.

Day 3

Milford sound is 120 kms from Te Anau. Lot of people drive directly from Queenstown to Milford sound and back on the same day. However, we didn't want to over exert ourselves so we took a stop at Te Anau. Te Anau is also last town before Milford Sound. We left at 10 am for Milford sound and on the way there are many photo stops and beautiful places. It was very difficult to resist and not stop for them. For many stops we said that we will wait here while coming back but few of them were too beautiful to resist. After couple of stops we did realize that we were getting late so decided to wait for them while coming back. The good thing about visiting NZ in summer is that there is visible sunlight till 9-9.30 pm so we do get good amount of time to be outside. Milford sound was a cruise ride to different waterfalls and mountain views.

It was very windy and the temperatures was very low. We went to the uppermost deck however, after 30 mins or so it became unbearably cold so we went down in the closed area of the ship. They serve coffee and some snacks on board which is paid of course. The tour lasts for 2 hours however, I was not too impressed by it. It costs us 145 NZD per person which also seemed super expensive. The only good part about going to Milford is as I mentioned all the scenic spots on the way where you can stop for toilet, relaxation and some photos.

Day 4

We left from Te anau and our next destination for night was Fairlie which was around 500km. This was going to be longest drive of our trip. As Queenstown was on the way we decided to have lunch there as we were aware about the restaurants there from day 1. Parking however can be a problem near Queenstown street. We took multiple breaks on the way. We had a booking at Tekapo springs near lake Tekapo. It had stargazing and hot pools experience combined. However, our booking was at 11.30pm.  Since in summer the sun sets late, only available slot were 10.30 and 11.30 pm. 10.30 pm was fully booked so we had to take 11.30pm slot even when we did the booking in advance. Star gazing was okayish , you could see lot of stars with naked eye itself. After the sun set, there were so many stars visible in the sky. Haven't seen sky so full of stars in a very long time. We expected a detailed view of some of stars through telescope in star gazing experience however, we were disappointed as the view was not as our expectation. The host was not very engaging as well as she only spoke about the things that she had memorized. Space is such an interesting topic , I tried to ask her one question but she did not answer it so I stopped those questions. We skipped hot springs as we were super tired by the drive and it was already 12.30 am. We were not willing to wait another hour and then drive back home at 1.30 am. Fairlie was around 50 km from lake Tekapo and it had become super chilly and windy at night when we were leaving. It was impossible to be outside. The drive was scary as well because it was pitch black and there were hardly any cars in the road at 1 o'clock. The only light that we could see was of our headlight. No lights in the front or back.

Day 5

It was super relaxed as we had came late at night from lake tekapo. We left home after lunch at 2 pm. Went to Good shepherd church as it is one of the places to visit when nearby.

Later, we went down straight to lake Tekapo to sit at the shore. Yesterday, although we were at the same place but couldn't spend time near the lake. A warning was issued that it is going to be windy today and so it was super windy wherever we went. We just had a nice cup of coffee there.

For later part of the evening we rested mostly. Watched a movie on Netflix while preparing dinner and eating it.

Day 6

Drove from Fairlie to Christchurch. Surprisingly, there was nothing much to do on the way unlike what we had experienced till now. The route not scenic as well. I think we are already spoiled by NZ in the first week itself expecting everything to be scenic all the time :P. After reaching Christchurch, we went to Hagley North park,  had lunch there on park bench. Checked in to our home,  had some rest and went for grocery shopping. We mostly prepared and ate our food at home itself, so grocery shopping was a big task wherever we went. First impression of Christchurch not too great. Too many traffic signals on the road, reminded me of Singapore where it was the same. Maybe it was because this was a big city. Saw some indiscipline on road for the first time in NZ from the locals. Otherwise till now, be it driving or pedestrians on the road everyone followed traffic rules. No place to park in the city. We went to new Regent Street where we had high expectations but it wasn't lively. Maybe we went at the wrong time of the day.

Day 7

When researching about things to do in Christchurch everyone suggested Tram and Punting on the Avon River. Both of the things we were not interested in. It didn't leave us with much options and we had 3 days here. Went to Quake city which is a museum about history of earthquakes in Christchurch. Christchurch is high earthquake prone zone and gets a lot of earthquakes. The one on 22 Feb 2011 was a major one where 175 people lost their lives. This museum shares the stories of the people , the people who experienced it first hand. It shares the science behind earthquakes and has some fun experiments related to it. Ticket was 20$ per person. After that, we visited Botanical garden and saw some wonderful flowers there.

Finally, at the end we went out to nearby beach. It was 15 kms from city center so close to Christchurch and there was literally no one on the beach. It was completely empty.  It was windy and we were surprised to know that no one was at this beautiful beach so close to the city. Anyway, that worked out good for us.

Day 8

We were going to spend one more day in Christchurch. First, we went for shopping in Central city area. Had food in Riverside Market. Then we spent some time playing with the birds in the Avon river and then went to 2$ thrift shop where there were things (mostly clothes ) starting from 2$. I bought myself couple of novels to read for 2$ each.

Day 9

Finally, left from Christchurch,  visited Racaia George. The water was beautiful and blue.

We loved our time there. This was one of the most recommended place but still it wasn't over crowded. I think there were around 20-25 people when we were there.

We spent rest of the evening at Fables which was a lovely place.

For the entire trip we had booked AirBnB's but this was only an exception. It was a lovely hotel with a very big landscape. It was very huge and view from the room was very beautiful.

After dinner we sat outside drinking coffee at the sunset and playing nice romantic music in the background.

Day 10

We did breakfast at the hotel and left for Hoktika. It was very windy today since morning. Hoktika was 250 kms from the hotel and the road was challenging. Steep ghats and turns along with wind and rain made the journey even more challenging. It rained the whole day without a break. Apparently,  it was a wet day is what our host said after reaching their place.

Day 11

We didn't do much yesterday after reaching hoktika since it was raining the entire evening. In the morning we checked out and went to nearby Grocery store to buy some essentials. After that we went to Hoktika beach where the waves were very strong. Maybe it was because of the wind or geography of Hokitika.

After strolling there for a bit we went to nearby cafe which was surprisingly very full. Had some sandwiches and coffee there. Roamed around the street, visited few shops and bought some clothes as they were on discount. In the afternoon we left for Fox Glacier and did wait for couple of stops on the way.

Day 12

Our main activity for the day in Fox Glacier got postponed. We had booked snow landing in glacier with helicopter ride. However, there was a very high cloud cover today affecting the visibility so it was not possible to do this today. We had one more day in Fox glacier so we were going to try again tomorrow. Later we went to lake Matheson which had a beautiful reflection point.

It was an easy walk and had different points to visit. Later on, we strolled near the town Centre.

Day 13

The day started with another bad news that the weather is not clear today as well and there are lot of cloud cover near the landing area. This was strange since it was sunny today and the climate was much better than yesterday. The good thing about this glacier landing we were going to get refund if the flight was cancelled. We saw few other companies still taking people on rides, it was only our operator who said that it was cancelled. We enquired at them and they had one flight available. It was expensive 330$ per person. The one that we had booked was for 250$ doing the same thing. After thinking for a while we decided to book it. They took us to a helipad nearby which was a 5 mins drive and then the helicopter flight was around 10 mins. The glacier was a very close spot. They land on the glacier and we spend around 10 mins there for photos. As it was sunny today, the snow was reflecting very brightly.

The pilot mentioned that it is 14km glacier which is present all the year around. Lucky for us we were also sitting in the front along with the pilot. In one helicopter ride there are 6 people, 2 in the front and 4 at the back. 330 seems expensive for the short 30 mins flight but it is the tourist season now, so no regrets. After that we were driving to Wanaka today. It was 280 kms drive and we had nice stops this time on the way. We reached Wanaka at around 5.30 pm after taking 4-5 stops.

Went out for lunner (lunch/dinner) and came back to home. We were very tired from the ride and slept very early today.

Day 14

Left home after breakfast and went to lavender farm. Beautiful flowers and landscape. However,  entry there is not free. It costs 15$ per person. Spent the afternoon there, clicked some nice pictures , came home and did lunch.

Went out for some shopping in town centre and visited wanaka lake which is in town center as well. Roamed around the shops there. Had dinner at a nice restaurant and came back to home.

Day 15.

Today we had to drive from Wanaka to Queenstown. After checkout we want to #thatWanakaTree and had nice breakfast at Dougbin bakery before leaving for Queenstown.

It was a nice 70 kms drive which we completed in little more than hour. This was the last place of our stay. My wife was not feeling well so we mostly stayed in the apartment for today.

Day 16

Today the only thing to do in our agenda was shopping. We had to buy Souvenir for friends and family back home.

Day 17

After checkout out had some time so went out to have ice cream at patagonia and gave back the car at Yes rentals and they dropped us to the airport. However, it did not end there :(

Looking back at the entire here are some reflection points.

Things we did well -

1. Self managed everything. I was a bit skeptical about this but it was the best decision. We could tailor made itinerary for us. We had enquired with some tour organizers however, we decided to do it on our own. Yes, it was not 100% successful but still the houses we stayed in, routes we followed were specially made for us keeping our likes and dislikes in mind by us. 2. Self drive. Before coming to NZ, I must have drove car for around 200 kms, my lifetime total. Whereas in NZ, I drove for 2300 kms here but the kind of flexibility it provided was amazing. Couldn't imagine doing this via tour or a dedicated driver as well. Btw, having a dedicated driver is twice as expensive. 3. Travelling in February instead of August. Previously, we were planning to travel to NZ in August for my wife's birthday. However, it is winter during that time and things are unreliable. Roads are closed due to snow, weather changes frequently. You need to check the road condition before leaving for every trip. Additionally, the days are shorter where sun sets much earlier.

Things we'll do differently next time -

1. Reduce duration of trip. There were days when we were bored and didn't have much to do. NZ is very expensive as well, so everyday you stay adds an additional expense to your pocket. 2. Include insect repellent. It is nice to visit in summer in nature but while being in nature also brings lots of insects that bite. It would be much better if you have an insect repellent with you. 3. Don't include overnight activities especially when we have full day travel. The stargazing experience in lake tekapo taught us that.

Few things that are special to NZ - 1. Except within the city in Christchurch and some parts of Queenstown everything in NZ is a single lane road. More than 90% of road that we drove on was single lane. 2. NZ is home to all modes of transportation. Hiking,  walking,  cycling,  biking, car driving,  RV's and campervans. 3. Very common to see people jog at any time of the day. 7 am, 2 pm, 12 pm. Seen people jogging/running at any time. 4. Made in NZ products mostly throughout the country. Be it shampoo, detergent, ketchup, spices most of the ones that we picked up from grocery was made in NZ. 5. Abundant parking wherever we went. Abundant seating places. There was never an issue for them. I think less population in NZ makes it possible to do it. 6. 10 am check out everywhere in NZ. 10 am seems too early but I guess this is the standard they have. Although, check-out is early but check in is still at normal time i.e 2pm or 3pm. 7. Viewpoints at every highway. I have mentioned this multiple times but if you are travelling from point A to point B, there are going to be multiple stops on the way for you to appreciate the beauty of NZ. 8. Every town/village has town center which is a central place where you can find everything.

I hope you enjoyed this trip to NZ with us. Here are some final few photos from NZ.

#travel #nz #new zealand #mountains #snow #nature

[shahronak47]

Australia transit visa pain

Me and my wife were planning to travel to New Zealand (NZ). While checking the flights, we noticed that most of the flights were 1 stop flight with a layover in Australia. The direct flights were very expensive. So we chose 1 stop flight to NZ. That was a simple and innocent decision without thinking much since we have travelled many number of times with 1 stop flight. I have also travelled once with 2 stop-flights when travelling to Africa.

However, what we didn't know at that time was Australia requires transit visa even if you are catching a flight from the same airport. This was something new to us and never heard of. Why would you require a visa if you are not even leaving an airport?

I was pretty much annoyed already by the visa process for NZ. It required too many documents to complete the process. Additionally, no help on the website in terms of customer support if you are confused on a field and don't know what to enter. The only good thing was the entire process was online, so I can crib and cuss while filling the application at home. Somehow with the help of some googling , I was able to submit the visa application for both myself and my wife. Then the NZ embassy took more than 2 months to process our application. Simply, no update from their side on our application. I had to call couple of times to their embassy in NZ to get more information. However, they didn't have any specific answer/timeframe for me. All they said was we have too many applications and you will receive an answer soon. What do you mean by soon? No one knows. After 2 months finally we got the visa and started planning our trip.

So now for Australia as well, we need a transit visa and the process started again. The transit visa is free but you still need to complete all the formalities. Created an immi account and filled 12(!!!) pages of information. Gave them all the details about where I am from, my DOB, my address, phone number , where I am going to, where I am coming from, a guarantee that I will leave the airport within 72 hours etc. I had already started regretting my decision to travel through Australia but I don't even know what other option I had if I chose not to travel through this Australia. Finally, I finished my form and I got 2 automated email from Australian embassy. First one, was to acknowledge the receipt of the transit visa application and second one was to provide biometric details of myself.

They needed my fingerprints since I have an Indian passport and I am not travelling from India. I need to go to VFS to submit this and it was not free. VFS charged 118 RM to process each application. Just adding more fuel to my anger. Also, nowhere on the website or email from Australian embassy it is mentioned to go to VFS. They just say to go to your nearest Australian Biometric Collection Centre. We need to google that or find out what that means and that's how I ended up with VFS.

VFS has their own process of taking an appointment. Both me and my wife went on the designated date and have our biometrics and verified our identity. After 2 days my wife got an email asking for more documents. She uploaded them and her visa was approved. As far as I am concerned, I got an email rejecting my transit visa application because my documents were not complete (similar to my wife). We both filled the same application but I guess depending on the person who handles the application they have the power to either reject or ask for more details in the application. Lack of consistency I would say.

The annoyance doesn't end here still. I fill out a fresh new application and like a robot I get another 2 emails again. One for the acknowledgement and another one asking for my biometrics and asking me to go to VFS AGAINNNN!!!!

I so want to cancel my booking to NZ right now because even though NZ has allowed me to enter their country, people in Sydney don't think I'm a genuine tourist. Paid 118 RM again, went to VFS and completed my biometrics. In the meantime, I emailed the Australian embassy along with VFS about my situation and asked them to reuse the same biometric from my last application. VFS raised their hand saying we cannot do anything if the embassy has asked you to give the biometric whereas on the other hand Australian embassy never replied.

The people at VFS were very surprised that I came back again in few days and they could see my records in their system. I told them about my rejection and they took extra care while filling my application. The issue was not their end as I knew which document I had forgotten to upload from my wife's application. Anyway, the approval came instantly on the same day after that.

Well, as they say all's well that ends well. It did cost me some money, a lot of time to fill out the application form (twice), some trouble to go to VFS on working day and give my biometrics (twice) and some mental peace but hey on the bright side I can now stay in the Sydney airport for as long as 72 hours.

#travel #australia #new zealand

[shahronak47]

Nepotism - Is it right to criticize?

nepotism: the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives, friends, or associates, especially by giving them jobs.

Isn't this everywhere? Don't we see every now and then someone or the other getting a job because they are related to someone. However, the two main industries that I have heard people having issues mostly with it is Bollywood (Film industry) and politics.

These are two places where we see people dropping in the main stage out of nowhere just because they belong to a particular family. For the other industries there is not much loud noises that I hear. Society has accepted that it is obvious that a next CEO of the company will be boss' son because ......ummm..he is boss' son.

However, the question that I want to answer is Is it right to criticize nepotism babies (The kids who get a head start because of their families) just because of their family connections?

The short answer is NO.

No one should be criticized because of where they come from irrespective if they are son/daughter of a homeless person or if they come from a kingdom. Is it unfair that few "lucky" people get these opportunities so easily when there are so many other talented people who are still waiting in line for their chance? Hell, yes! It is unfair. But can you avoid it from happening? No, you can't. Then what is the right response to this? Fortunately in both these industries (Bollywood and Politics) it is public, common people who decide what is good or bad. If you don't like someone don't watch their movie or don't vote for them. Yes, they do get a head start however, if they are not good at what they do they will be rejected by public.

In one of the interview where the debate was going on for nepotism someone said that solution for this is that son of a politician can do other things than politics. Son of film star can do other things than acting. However, I think that is unfair. I am a big believer of doing what you love. These kids have had the atmosphere of films/politics in their home since their childhood. They are very much exposed to it because of their parents. It is very likely that they will fall in love of this because of their exposure and telling someone that they can't do something that they love is unfair.

Moreover, not everyone is talent less if they have a family connection. Some people are actually very talented and if we restrict their access then it is unfair to the industry that they belong. They will loose a talent that can transform things because of our silly rules.

Ultimately, I feel nepotism is going to exist if you like it or not. Accept it but at the same time don't forget to raise your voice if you don't like their work, don't forget to take (in)action by not going to their movies or not voting for them so that mediocre people are churned out by the system and only the good ones remain. I am sure wherever nepotism exist there would be a way to cast your opinion in some way or the other.

#nepotism #india #politics #bollywood

[shahronak47]

One more chance before I hate you.

In the last year, I can remember 3 instances where people screwed up and were on the receiving end of online hate and trolling.

Jocelyn Chia - She is a stand-up comedian and cracked up a joke about the disappeared flight MH370 which was very insensitive to the victims and their families.

Pushpal Roy - An HDFC bank manager who was recorded abusing junior employees for not reaching their sales target.

Cameroon Green - Australian cricketer who took a controversial catch of Shubman Gill in the final of WTC between India vs Australia.

Now these are just recent examples off the top of my head, I am sure every day some people screw up and receive online hate. I read about this stuff on social media and go through the comments that people post. For example, Jocelyn is a Singaporean-born and one of the comments was "Jocelyn does not represent us Singaporeans. She represents her family and her upbringing". More comments were worse than this. Going through these comments I felt bad. Do we really know her family values and her upbringing? I am in no way defending what she said. Whatever she said was definitely wrong and insensitive but what my point is do we really need to stoop this low to make someone feel so bad about their act? For all that we know her parents must be the most sensitive people and they truly feel sorry for what she said. Or Jocelyn herself is very sensitive but this one joke is what she did not thought it through. She did not know that it could hurt people the way it did. I mean this has happened to me so many times when I say something in a group and then later thinking about it I regret what I said.

Same with Pushpal Roy. Few people didn't find him online so were commenting on HDFC's page about him. Obviously, what he did and how he spoke to his colleagues is not appreciated and should not be tolerated but what if this is 3rd time he is telling them and they are still making the same mistake? Do we know the back and forth of the story? We see one side of the coin, make our instant judgments, and share our thoughts in a very insensitive way.

In this age of social media, no one has time but everyone has an opinion. They don't have time to research things, try to understand the issue to its core, form an opinion, and then post it online. They see an incident in isolation and immediately start spewing venom. Since we do no research on our own, a lot of our opinions are dependent on how the post is written.

Consider these two headlines,

"Monster on the Streets: Ruthless Murderer Kills Own Boss!" and "Tragic Homicide Occurs: Individual Involved in Fatal Incident with Former Employer"

Reading the first headline you have already labeled the murderer as a villain without understanding the situation. The second headline is at least a bit balanced. It encourages you to read more and find out what was the actual situation. Why the employee had to kill his own boss. Imagine we scrolling through our social media feed, read the first headline and within 10 seconds we find ourselves commenting on the post "This person should be hanged. He has no right to live. What an inhuman creature. ". No time to think or reflect. The worst case is when the news headline mentions the race or religion of the person who has done this. "Ruthless Asian Murderer...." or "Ruthless Muslim Murderer...." or "Ruthless Hindu Murderer...." and again we as "innocent" social media consumers would fall for it. Some would get all riled up and add a hate comment on the post for the community, and someone would do nothing but in their mind make a point about how a member of a particular community did this heinous act.

Now there are a lot of wrongs here. It is a fact that someone killed someone. Why they killed some person is secondary but killing someone is wrong. It is wrong that the article wrote a sensationalized headline for more views/likes or whatever and it is also wrong that we get angry about this immediately just after reading the headline and without understanding the complete picture. So yes, there are a lot of wrongs but which of these wrongs can we control? Which of these wrongs can we change? Can we take a break before forming our opinions? Can we give some time to understand the situation completely?

Can we give that person one more chance before we start hating that person for what they did which may or may not impact us? Maybe it was just in the heat of the moment, maybe they were weak for that 10 seconds when they committed the mistake. Can we allow them to be a human who makes mistakes and not behave in a way that we have never done anything wrong?

Can we just take a deep breath before we say or post anything?

#self help #online trolls #anger

[shahronak47]

Problems with democracy.

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that democracy was the best way to govern a country. It was always portrayed very strongly by using phrases like government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Dictatorship or communist way of ruling a country is very oppressive. However, as I have grown up and read/experienced different things I have started seeing some flaws in democracy and I doubt if it is the best way to govern a country. Here, I want to put across certain thoughts that I have regarding the same.

I am going to mostly speak about democracy in an Indian context since that is what I am most aware of.

Firstly, in a developing country like India, not everyone is capable of thinking long-term. They are highly influenced by short-term results and decisions. If we are going to allow 1.4 billion people to have an opinion where the collective intellectual is low (?), it is going to create chaos and directionlessness.

When you are trying to give a ticket to a candidate in a particular locality, the most important parameter that you have to consider is the religion of the candidate vs that of the majority of people in the locality. How much influence does that person have in the locality? Unfortunately, it is not based on the work he/she has done in that area or their vision of the locality they are serving. The party needs to select candidates from specific communities if they have the majority in that area irrespective of their skillset because that is how people vote. So if there is a Muslim candidate in a Hindu majority locality who is very well educated, with a clear vision, and is not corrupt. The chances of that person getting a ticket are very low because people still vote based on religion. The opposite also is true about a Hindu candidate in the Muslim majority. In the long-term whose loss is that? When a candidate can take you from 1-10 in 3 years, you settle with a candidate who'll only take you from 1-3 in 3 years. In the worst case, some candidates also take you in negative but people still vote for the candidate based on their beliefs.

They also need to lure people to vote for them by introducing freebie schemes which are a disaster for the nation. The majority of people find free buses and electricity as beneficial. Again, they don't understand that nothing is free in this world. Someone somewhere is paying for that stuff. States are going more into debt by announcing such free schemes. The political parties do not worry about finance nor do they worry about the state or country for that matter. If my announcing these schemes gets me elected for the next 5 years let me do it, the financial burden would be taken care of by the next person and you know what the worst part of this is? Other states seeing this start demanding the same thing which takes more states into debt making the country poorer. Again the short-term benefit of free busses introduces the long-term impact of higher taxes. However, people seem to be ok with it. I am not saying that there should not be anything free in the country. Definitely, some people are extremely poor and they deserve this free scheme but it should be a very small percentage. Making bus travel for all the women or all the elderly is not a wise move in my opinion.

People with criminal histories are given tickets because they always get elected. Political parties need seats and they are ok to accept anyone in their party as long as they win the elections. Political parties say that only these people get elected so we need to give them the seat whereas people say that we have only such people on our list so we don't have any other option to vote. Both of them point fingers at each other.

Personally, as a solution, I have started tilting away from democracy at least in the initial period. Until a country reaches some x% of individuals who are educated and y% of GDP per capita income till that time the reigns of a country should be given to one person who we collectively believe in as our leader and trust who has good intentions for the country. Give them a free hand to do whatever they want to without the fear of losing their chair. Lots of decisions, policymakers are feared to take because it is bad in the short term for the people but in the long term, they will yield good results. Because of a lack of education, a lot of people can only look at the short-term results so such decisions can be taken now since you have a free hand. Give that person 15 years and see what he can do.

After you achieve the key milestones of x% of education and y% of per capita GDP we switch back to democracy mode hoping that the mentality of most people is now changed and they have country country-first approach in mind rather than me first or my caste first or my religion first.

The major part has to be played by common people. In a democracy, political parties are going to become what we want them to become. All the parties have some corrupt people, some criminals, etc. If we really don't have a candidate in our constituency that we can support can we choose the None of the above (NOTA) option. It has been built for this purpose. There are less than 1% of people who vote for this option but I think we should increase this percentage so that these parties start taking it seriously and then talk with people asking them why they chose this option.

Moreover, there should be a feeling of ownership. When I see my house is dirty, the first thing I am going to do is start cleaning it before pointing fingers at others that they did it and they should clean it. It is not my responsibility to clean the house.

#india #politics #political party #democracy

[shahronak47]

4-wheeler driving test, RTO, Pune.

I recently went through 4 wheeler driving test in Pune to get a permanent driving license. I was practicing driving with a driving school earlier so they were the ones who helped me book a slot for a driving test and charged me Rs. 2574. I am sure you can get the driving slot by yourself online as well and the charge would be much less however, I did not pay much attention to doing all the hassle myself.

Once the slot is booked, you need to visit IDTR on your appointment date. You also get the timing, however, nobody cares about the timing. I was present there are 9.30 am however, I also met a few people who came as early as 8 am. The person who I was supposed to meet there, let's say, Uncle Adam, he put all my documents in order and asked me to take Xerox of PAN and Aadhar card. I was not informed about it earlier so I took the printout from there and they charged 15 Rs per copy 😒😒. Then I had to give some 100 Rs to get a receipt. I have no idea what that was for but Uncle Adam took the receipt and kept it with himself.

We were sitting in the canteen and were given numbers from 1-25. I was number 19. People who came earlier got an early number but they were in the same group as me. So time-wise I don't think it was of much benefit reaching there early.

This video has all the details of the test and how they are taken :

First, we were taken to the "H" test also called a reverse test. At any given time there were 2-3 cars giving the test. The task is to go straight, take reverse, turn, and take reverse again. The police are watching (?) the tests and then give a sign on your form that you have completed the test. The driving agent sits next to you as the car is dual-controlled. It is a simple 30 sec - 60 sec test.

Later on, we got to the 8 test which is the most strict according to the agent because everything is automated there. There are borders marked and you have to drive inside that border, if the tire touches the border marks are reduced. You have to complete the test within 90 seconds. Finally based on various criteria you are given marks out of 50 and you need at least 40 to pass.

Finally, there was "G" test which is a test on incline. You need to take your car on an incline, stop there for a second, and take ahead again.

I completed all my tests by 1 pm. The police officers went for lunch at 1 anyway, so I'm glad I was able to complete this before that. I heard a few people mentioning that the agents were "supporting" them during the tests as the cars are dual-controlled.

#pune #driving #driving license #rto

[shahronak47]

If I were to create a political party...

For the last 10 years, I have been very interested in politics. I hear a lot of podcasts and debates on them and try to have my own opinion. Although, I am not brave enough to share all of them on social media. I am mostly interested in Indian politics and I just wanted to share if I had a political party what kind of party it would be. I used to write such imaginative essays when I was in school. After so many years, I am going to do it again.

First and foremost, I would come up with the values of the party. They are going to be honesty, transparency, accountability, and humbleness. Personally, all of these values are really very important to me. Let me explain them one by one with examples.

Honesty - This value stems from the fact that I hardly see any political leader publically accepting anything wrong that they have done or appreciating the good in another political party. Most of them believe in complete black and white. I think everyone would agree when I say that it is impossible for any human to make 100% correct decisions all the time. Similarly, it is impossible for anyone to make 100% wrong decisions all the time. Yet, all of them portray as if they have never done anything wrong and the opposite party has never done anything good ever. How we as citizens and voters can accept that fact? It is impossible for anyone to be this good. It clearly states that they are lying and if they are lying about one thing, they can lie about many other things. How do I trust anything they say at all? Moreover, it is very risky to have someone with a lot of power to not see good in anyone at all except themselves.

My party would be completely honest with everyone. We will always accept our mistakes with purest of the hearts but will also make sure that we always have the best interest of our citizens in our hearts. It means that we want to do good for people but will not always get it right and we are ok with it. We will also appreciate other parties for their good work. We don't think politics is a zero-sum game so we don't need to bring others down for us to go ahead. Since we have the nation's best interest in mind, we will always support anything good done by anyone for the betterment of the nation. At the same time, we will ensure if someone is doing something for their own betterment or their selfish motives it is exposed to the citizens.

Transparency - If we come into power, every department will define its objectives. What are they going to achieve in their stipulated time of power. Be it 5 years, be it 1 year. For eg - the objective of the Department of Energy may look like this - Currently, we are getting 2% of our electricity from renewable energy, in the next 5 years we will increase it up to 25%. Second, make 100 new locations for renewable energy generation so that goal 2 helps to achieve goal 1. Like this every minister will make their goals public and after 5 years they will share updates on their goals, how much they were able to achieve, and how much they couldn't.

Accountability - Everyone is accountable for their goals. If they are not able to achieve their goals a written public note should be given on the reasons. There would be some natural calamities, some geo-political situations, and some factors that are out of our control but that should be shared and properly explained. Get continuous feedback from the public about the tasks that we are doing and are going to do in the future.

Humbleness - You should always be humble and be respectful of others. No attitude of any sort would be appreciated just because you are a minister or because you have done some sort of work. In politics usually, people oppose you out of spite. They will oppose your policies just because you are not of the same party as them. You have to take it objectively and see if what they are saying has any kind of merit. Try to be positive and improve yourself in serving the citizens of this country.

You'll realize that most of the things that I have mentioned here are the same as how a startup would run. This is exactly how I think we get the maximum output.

#politics #india #political party

[shahronak47]

Trip to Phuket, Thailand.

We recently visited Phuket in Thailand. We were a bit skeptical to be visiting Thailand in August since it is the rainy season here but fortunately for the duration of our trip which was 4 days it rained only on 1 day.

Our flight was delayed by an hour and we arrived in Phuket in the afternoon. Thailand has a visa-on-arrival policy and for many nationalities especially Western countries, the visa is free. However, for us (Indian passport holders) we need to pay 2200 baht per person. Luckily for us, we also had our photos with us which were needed for visa application.

We stayed at Rawai Beach, the view from the hotel was spectacular but it was too far from the airport around 40kms and it took as more than an hour to reach the hotel.

Everything was available nearby. Local supermarket, Laundry services, bike rental, currency exchange, nice restaurants, massage parlors. Whatever you need was at walking distance from our place.

Upon arrival, we freshened up a bit and decided to explore the surroundings. It was already evening and the sun was about to set. We got some groceries and went to Jetty Point. This is the place where usually boats arrived after island hopping. The weather was nice so we clicked a few pictures and went to the market nearby.

The market was full of live crabs, fish, and whatnot. This was not of interest to us as we are vegetarians. But from what we gathered, people buy these animals from these shops according to their choice and bring them to the nearby restaurant that cooks and serves them. There were many shops that sold the live animals and there were many restaurants that cooked them. Apart from that, there were other small shops as well selling the usual stuff - souvenirs, ladies' bags, earrings, and something similar.

We then went to a dinner place nearby called "The Vibe", it was right outside our hotel. Nice place with live music. Although, the music was loud and my wife got irritated at the end as we had to shout loud at each other to talk with each other :P Also, later we enquired about a bike rental service for tomorrow as that would be the most economical option for us to travel. Taxis and ride-hailing services like Grab are very expensive. They told us 3000 baht would be the deposit amount and there were bikes of different ranges costing 250/280/360 baht per day.

The next day, morning at 9.30 am we rented the bike and the first location we went to was The Big Buddha. Just to give a comparison, grab taxi from our hotel to Buddha Statue was 350 baht one way and we were paying 250 baht for the bike for the entire day. So completely worth it. The Big Buddha as the name suggests is a big Buddha statue and it is situated at the top of the mountain which gives a good view of the city as well.

It is very peaceful and serene at the top of the mountain. There are monks staying there as well. Also, one more important thing is especially for ladies need to dress appropriately to enter the place. By appropriately, I mean the shoulders and knees should be covered. Otherwise, you need to buy some kind of sarong there. While coming back, we had coconut water and pineapple juice from a place that had an amazing view as well.

It was afternoon and at night we had decided to go to the weekend night market. We had some time in the middle and we had the option to go back to the hotel, rest and come back or go somewhere else. It was very hot outside as well. We decided to visit the central mall. We had seen it while on our way from the airport to the hotel. Additionally, it was enclosed with air conditioning so that would save us from heat as well. The mall was very big and although we didn't plan but still we did some shopping from there. You know how it works. ;-)

From there we went to Kata beach which is quite famous as well.

There were a lot of tourists like us there enjoying the sunset. Some black stuff got stuck in my leg there and I didn't know what it was. Initially, I thought it was some dead animal, then I thought it was some oil coming out of the bike but then it was seen at multiple places. That night I searched online and found out that this has occurred recently in Phuket where someone illegally dumped some kind of oil in the sea which is coming back to the shore and getting stuck to our bodies from the water.

While going to the night market from the beach we stopped at a nice decent coffee place called Tang Toh Restaurant and Cafe. The coffee there was 70 baht. The night market was very vibrant and it sold everything. It had food, lots of varieties of food (mostly non-vegetarian obviously) , clothes, dresses, unique decorative pieces, and so on.

We did good shopping there as well. We spent there around 2-3 hours and it rained heavily sometimes when we were there. Luckily, the whole place was covered so the rain did not impact us at all and it went away in 15-20 mins.

Me and my wife are both coffee lovers and we like to visit cafes. Before coming to Phuket itself, we had bookmarked this lotus cafe which is very photogenic and looked unique. The next day, we first went to this cafe which is called Ma Doo Bua Cafe. They have big lotus leaves there and the food/cafe is also good. Obviously, it is more expensive than a normal coffee place but it would be worth it if you like clicking photos. They also provided personalized photo services with a professional photographer along with drones with prices starting from 500 baht for a single person and 800 for 2 people. We reached there around 12pm and the next appointment available was at 4.30 pm for that photoshoot. We didn't opt for that service.

From there we also went to another coffee shop called riverside coffee and had some snacks there. That place was okayish and there was no one there except us. Next, we decided to go to Freedom Beach as it was close by. The road to the beach was broken and this was the first time we experienced this kind of road since we had arrived. We were driving up on the hill and not many people were passing by which was very unusual for the beach. After 10 mins or so we came to a stop where a lady was selling something and told us to park the bike there and trek the rest of the road. She told us that it is a 10 mins hike. Well, it was much more than 10 mins. Also, it was a very steep slope and difficult to get down with no clear path. We both started thinking if we did a mistake coming here. While getting down I was thinking how are we going to come up from this place again. After 30 mins or so we reached to the beach and it was beautiful.

There were very limited people on that beach (obviously, who was going to come this far). The water was very deep and the waves were high as well. I was sweating heavily because of the hike and was very annoyed already because I didn't expect the hike. Nonetheless, we went in the water and soon I was fine. We spent around 1-1 and half hours there before heading back. While heading back we chose a different route, the traditional one which was steep as well but it took only 10 mins to complete it. I don't know why the lady told us to park our bike earlier where the route was difficult.

Next, we went to Bangla Road and Patong Beach. Bangla Road is famous for its nightlife, bars, loud music, and "other" stuff. Although, me and my wife are not drinkers but still had to visit this place to know what all the fuss was about. Bangla road was really very noisy with loud music and everyone trying to call you in their restaurant to have beers, food, drinks, etc. This is how it looks, although this video is not from me.

There are a lot of restaurants and eateries around this area and it was the most crowded area in our entire trip. The atmosphere was electric and the calming beach on the opposite side made it a perfect contrast.

On the last day, we were going to go beach hopping. They charged us 1300 baht/person whereas their pamphlet said 3600. Definitely, they'll be charging that amount during peak season. The package included pickup and dropoff from/to the hotel. Plus it included lunch, unlimited tea/coffee, and snacks all the time on the boat. They also prepared a special vegetarian lunch for only 2 of us. It was a big boat that we were going to use and there were in total 39 of us. This boat was also equipped with a washroom. It was a big relief since going to the washroom is a big issue during such beach hopping and most of the time you just have to go out in nature.

It had rained very heavily the night before and there were no signs of sun in the morning as well when we were leaving. It was going to be rainy today as well. I was kind of hoping that it would not rain today so that we would enjoy this trip fully but life is not about what you want, it's about what you do of what you get.

In the first two places we went inside the cave using kayak. Caves had limestone in it. It was very dark and quite inside the cave. It was raining continuously and while kayaking we were completely drenched. We then waited at one spot in middle of the ocean for swimming and kayaking. We were there for 40 odd minutes and then we had lunch. Finally, we went to James bond island. On this island, there was a James Bond movie shot in 1974. It was a very small island but still scenic.

The host was entertaining and he kept us all engaged throughout the trip. The trip ended at around 4pm and after coming back to hotel we took a nice dinner at nearby place with live music.

Finally, to mark the end of the trip we both did a full body massage for 500 baht/person. The message parlours were full even at 10 pm.

In hindsight, renting a bike was a good decision. It saved us lot of money, time and hassle. Going in August was also a good decision, it was off season so we got few things cheaper. There were tourists but it wasn't over crowded. Luckily for us, rain did not play a spoilsport. Staying at Rawai beach was something that we would avoid next time because it is completely at one end of Phuket and for everything we had to travel a lot. All the spots were at least 25km far from our place so it involved a lot of travelling.

Few interesting observations - Weed is legal in Thailand and it is available everywhere. There are dedicated shops selling only weed. There are far too many currency exchanges. You will see them everywhere. Wherever you are, there is always a currency exchange near to you. Since most of the people in Phuket are tourist they want them to spend as much money as possible by providing these exchanges they just reduce the friction. Smart move!

#phuket #beach #vacation #couple

[shahronak47]

Can you be vulnerable?

June 26, 2007. It is our result day. I was in 10th standard and this was supposed to be a very important day. 10th standard is very important in the sense that based on the marks that you score in this exam your college for your next education is decided. Fortunately, most of us got good marks and everyone was called into school for felicitation of top scorers and a final get-together with our friends and teachers.

The school was special, for many of us as this was the place that we were coming every day to for the last 13 years. For someone, it was 10 years, etc. I was one of the kids who had spent 13 years here and this was kind of our last time in school. We were all going to go away to college now and leave this place.

After the event was over we started talking with friends, asking them what their plans are going to be for college. Some said they are going to do CA, some said they are interested in engineering, some wanted to become doctors, and so on. A few students were also talking with teachers and discussing their plans. Teachers were meeting with a few mischievous kids as well telling them to reduce their naughtiness since they are now going to college they should be more serious about their career.

I and my friends were "cool" kid who don't talk with teachers unless they have to like in oral exams. We want to be more around friends because it is awkward around teachers and we don't know what to talk about. We were so self-involved that it never occurred to us that we should at least thank our teachers for all the hard work they did for us.

Suddenly, we hear that one of our classmates (let's call him Raj) who we use to tease as a teacher's pet started crying in front of the teacher because he was going to miss school, teacher and friends. Things are going to be different now. As soon as we heard this we started making fun of him. "He is such a weak person, what is there to cry in this?", Someone came in saying "He is still trying to please the teachers. Someone please go and tell Raj that these teachers are no longer giving us marks".

Deep deep down we all were very sad. We all were feeling what Raj was feeling but none of us were mature or brave enough to dig our feelings so deep. On the surface, we believed crying is for losers, showing any kind of vulnerability is a sign of weakness and we have to portray ourselves to be stronger so we never gave our sadness a chance to express itself. Today, I know Raj was much more mature than us at that time to allow himself to express what he was feeling and he did not hold back. Being vulnerable is just another characteristic of humans and just as we feel happiness, sadness, and other feelings we also feel vulnerable at times. There is nothing wrong with that and it does not show if a person is strong or weak based on that.

It was 13 years of my life in that school. All our childhood was spent in that place. Some of my friends were friends of mine for 13 years and most of them would no longer be as close as they were earlier. That moment deserved crying, that moment deserved thanking our teachers, and that moment required us to be mature enough to understand this.

It has been 16 years since then, and today I understand what was required 16 years ago but do I know what is required now? If a similar situation arises to be vulnerable at the moment will I be able to do it? Or am I going to avoid it by pretending to be strong from the outside so that I am happy with my self-image and I can avoid the awkwardness that comes with it? I will pretend to be strong so there is nothing to talk about for others like how we were talking about Raj then?

I don't think anything has changed in these 16 years in this aspect because I can think of numerous occasions even today when I had an opportunity to be vulnerable but something deep down in me avoids it from happening or at least showing in public. It is deep-rooted in me and not easy to identify when this is happening. The natural reaction is to avoid vulnerability without even me knowing it. So maybe, after another 16 years, I will be writing about one such instance that is happening today because I could not overcome this deep-rooted resistance in me.

#school #friends #vulnerable #emotions

[shahronak47]

Please, let her snore.

It's day 5 of her fever. The numbers are not too bad and I feel it's more or less stable, doctors say the same that there is nothing to worry about. However, we both are quite scared. She shows it occasionally but I don't and she knows this very well. The source of both of our fear is the same. Last year, one of her closest friends passed away from the same illness.

We both knew there is a 5% probability of people getting serious by dengue fever overall, 95% of the time you don't need to even get admitted to a hospital to recover. However, this one recent case of her friend is what occupied our mind from day one since we understood my wife has dengue. We both cried as soon as we heard from the doctor about the fever but then we both realized that we were being stupid about it and there is nothing to fear. At least, nothing as of now.

The doctor said we had to do a blood test every day so that we can monitor her status and take a decision whether or not to admit her. On 3rd day, we decided to admit her to the hospital even when her numbers were in control. I was of the opinion that instead of running around at the last minute it is better to get admitted earlier to be on the safer side. This is a matter of life and death and it should be treated as such. The doctor also sensed that we both are worried and gave us the same advice to get admitted for some peace of mind.

In her dengue journey, so many times she gets an unbearable pain that lasts for around 5-10 mins or sometimes even more which is very difficult to see for you as a loved one. At that moment, it feels like she is dying. I am staying strong in front of her trying to tell her "Baby, you have been very strong till now. You have overcome everything and I know you will overcome this pain as well." but internally I am breaking down. I am crying, sometimes in the washroom or sometimes just in front of her. I cannot see her so much in pain and I really wish I can get some of her pain to myself.

During one such episode, she started losing consciousness while speaking and I was sobbing in front of her. I called the nurse immediately and she checked her BP and temperature and everything was fine, she tells me that and goes away. However, I am trying my best to not let her lose consciousness because I have a fear that if I let her sleep, I am losing her. I don't know where that logic came from but that's what I believed in, in that moment. I was trying to keep her awake and she was speaking random things uncontrollably which was making me more nervous. Then, it struck me that maybe she just wants to sleep and nothing else. I was still very nervous if I should let her close her eyes. I did and she was relaxed in that moment immediately. I was continuously staring at her making sure, she is still breathing and I have not lost her. I could see the movement in her back when she breathes in and then out. I could watch it for hours, she lay there in peace, sleeping and just breathing in and out. After some time, she started snoring and you have no idea how peaceful I found her snoring sound. The snoring was a guarantee she is alive and she is with me. I no longer have to keep on looking at her to see if she is breathing. I would have paid any amount to listen to her snore and that is when I prayed to god, Dear God, please let her snore.

#dengue #true love

[shahronak47]

Why big organizations shouldn't stop/reduce air travel to reduce air pollution?

It is heartwarming to know that a lot of people have started thinking about climate change and our environment in general on a serious note. They are aware of the harm that we are doing to nature and its implications that we have to face.

A lot of individuals/organizations have been taking up steps to do their part in reducing it. Today, I want to discuss one such step and discuss its pros and cons.

Discouraging travel to reduce carbon emissions.

This is the most common step which I have heard a lot of companies take to reduce their carbon footprint. The intention is right since I read that jet fuel is consumed at the whooping rate of 4 liters/second. That is a lot, I mean a lot lot!! .But my question is, is it the right and most effective thing to do to reduce carbon footprint?

I want to discuss this topic from the perspective of organizations and not on a personal level. What are the potential upsides for an organization that is possible with travel?

- There are a lot of global teams, and meeting them face to face actually increases the engagement between them. They get to know each other on a personal level and sometimes best friendships are created because of this. Once the bond is built, it can be carried out virtually if needed but building this initial connection is important. To create the same bonding HR spends a ton lot of resources but I think this is something that should happen naturally and this is possible by travel.

- If you increase employee engagement or create friends that are trustworthy I believe that will also increase staff retention. Employees will be more open to sharing their challenges with their colleagues who are now also their friends and they now have a good support system/friendship in place here so that they will think twice before switching jobs and giving up this support system.

- Travel for employees is also important to attend conferences and meetups to increase their technical knowledge which they bring back to the organization. The organization anyway has a budget for self-learning and does have a lot of initiatives to increase the knowledge of their employees. This is another way to do that.

- Employees feel valued.

- All the above points results in the employee being more loyal to the organization and being more productive which again benefits the organization.

I think these are too big of upsides that a company should give up.  But on the other hand, it is true that air travel does a lot of air pollution and it is not good for our environment but there should be another way to fix it, reducing air travel in my opinion is not the right direction. Let me explain why.

- If you look at the number of flights YOY https://financesonline.com/number-of-flights-worldwide/  you'll see that air travel has continually grown except for the covid times and this is bound to again pick up once the impact of covid reduces. So honestly, as much as I agree that flights create a lot of pollution I don't think the number of flights is going to reduce anytime soon. So I again stand by my point, restricting air travel is not the right direction. It is not going to do a lot. For example, by reducing air travel organizations are cleaning the environment by 1 unit/day but the flights are polluting it by 2000 units/day and this number will only increase as time passes. Yes, companies are doing their part and it is helping the world a bit but is it the right and most effective way? I don't know.

- Moreover, the traveling restriction is usually only for people lower down the chain. All the top executives still travel and their travel is justified by some other reason. So you do believe that travel is important but why selective on who can travel and who cannot. Travel by executive is still contributing to 2000 units of pollution, so in a way, you are wiping out your own efforts of cleaning up the environment. I think we should be in sync with what we are doing. Doing something 10 times a day is better than doing something 15 times a day. Yes, maybe it is but still, it feels quite hollow if you follow this strategy. A wise man once said,

- I think we should have some other compensating factors for air travel rather than not allowing travel at all. For example, one solution is to plant trees to negate your C02 emissions. A lot of people do that to neutralize their carbon emissions. I am not fully convinced by this approach. It feels like you are giving birth to 20 people to compensate for killing 10 people. Ummm, ok, sorry, that example went too far but you get my point. It is still better than doing nothing.

- I think the best/permanent solution to this problem is to develop alternative fuel which is not as dangerous as the current fuel emissions. If we can solve this problem it would fix everything. There are already some efforts being made in this direction. As an organization, you can invest or donate some money to such efforts to help them accelerate the growth of their development.

When we realized that cars that run on petrol/diesel are harmful to the environment, the correct step ahead was the introduction of electric cars which do no pollution. Reducing car travel would have been a step backward and unnatural which does not make sense.

I have a feeling that whatever I have mentioned here is still controversial and is an unpopular opinion but I have tried to think about this objectively and tried to include some suggestions as well to fix things.

Thank you for reading!

#air travel #travel #pollution

[shahronak47]

My life principles.

I am 32 years old and I have learned a few things in my life based on the experience I have had till now. Based on how the experience made me feel, what the outcome was, and many other factors sometimes I come out with some rules/principles for myself. Next time I am in a similar situation I take the help of these principles to take the decision.

These principles are not fixed but are constantly refined and updated based on the experience that I get. Most of these principles are useful for me for taking small as well as big decisions in life. You'll also notice that most of these principles are related to one's profession or career.

How to choose your career?

Unfortunately, I formed this principle after I was settled in my career so I couldn't completely use it but nonetheless, I am very satisfied with my career till now. There is one important question that you need to answer when choosing your career. "Can you be in the top 1% of your field?". 1% is a very stiff target I know but you need to aim for that. Also, this is a difficult question to answer when you are entering the field since you have no idea how it is going to turn out but ask this question regularly to yourself making sure that you are on the right path. I do that to myself as well and yes, I think I can be in the top 1% of my field in the coming years.

Every field has a triangle-like structure. All the people in the field are filled in this triangle.

As you can see at the bottom there is a lot of space and it can accommodate a lot of people. As you progress above the space becomes lesser and lesser. Your goal should be to reach the peak and this is possible only when you are loving your work. If you choose a career that you hate you will remain somewhere in the bottom half of the triangle which is most of the time not satisfying or fruitful.

Somewhat related to what we discussed above. To be in the top 1% you should do things that you enjoy irrespective of what the world says. Some of my cousins and friends come to me to ask for advice when they are starting their careers. What should I learn? Which field has good "scope"? Which tech do you think will have more jobs in the future? My real answer to this question would be don't do things for a job or for its scope. Look at yourself and see what you enjoy. If you can be in the top 1% of that field then leave everything and do that. However, this advice is not for everyone. Some people do have some financial commitments and goals to achieve in a fixed amount of time. "Do things that you enjoy" takes time to see lucrative financial rewards. It varies from person to person.

Apart from choosing your career, this can be applied to a lot of other things as well. For example, I know if I have the same content in a video format on YouTube it will reach more people and will increase my audience by more than 10x than this blog post. But my "why" for writing this blog is clear. I am doing this because I enjoy the writing process more than the video format. If my "why" was to build an audience then definitely it would make sense to do this on YouTube but I am doing this for myself and enjoy writing blogs.

Answer the why -

Ask a lot of why questions. It is very important for you to know why exactly you are doing things or not doing them. I do that whenever I am taking up new projects. Some projects I do because money is good, in some projects I am doing for experience, and in some, I am doing to learn new things but there is an answer for why for everything I do. At least I try to have that answer. The reason this is important for me is that when things are going out of control or you are getting frustrated about the project you need to go back to this "Why" that you had defined at the start. If the "Why" is getting fulfilled after enduring all this frustration then continue with it. It's worth it.

Answering the why is important for everything that we do. It is not only limited to the project but can be applied to so many things. Almost everything. By doing this exercise, we become self-aware about the things that we like or don't like. By asking this question, we take a moment to think otherwise we risk spending 5-10 years at a place stuck in our routine without going anywhere.

Do the things that you enjoy -

Somewhat related to what we discussed above. To be in the top 1% you should do things that you enjoy irrespective of what the world says. Some of my cousins and friends come to me to ask for advice when they are starting their careers. What should I learn? Which field has good "scope"? Which tech do you think will have more jobs in the future? My real answer to this question would be don't do things for a job or for its scope. Look at yourself and see what you enjoy. If you can be in the top 1% of that field then leave everything and do that. However, this advice is not for everyone. Some people do have some financial commitments and goals to achieve in a fixed amount of time. "Do things that you enjoy" takes time to see lucrative financial rewards. It varies from person to person.

Apart from choosing your career, this can be applied to a lot of other things as well. For example, I know if I have the same content in a video format on YouTube it will reach more people and will increase my audience by more than 10x than this blog post. But my "why" for writing this blog is clear. I am doing this because I enjoy the writing process more than the video format. If my "why" was to build an audience then definitely it would make sense to do this on YouTube but I am doing this for myself and enjoy writing blogs.

You don't know everything -

Well, this one was very hard learning for me. Let's try to understand this with an example that made me form this principle. There was a programming error that happened to one of my colleagues who reached out to me for help. The same error had occurred to me so I knew how to fix it. I told him the steps to follow. He did those but it did not help him to resolve the error. I said again, are you sure you are doing it correctly? I repeated the same steps again. My colleague had done the steps correctly but just for my sake, he did the steps again without fixing the problem. In my mind, I am sure that he is messing something up or he is doing something incorrectly. How dumb one has to be to mess up such simple and clear instructions is what I am thinking. The next day, he came up to me and told me how he fixed that issue. His fix was completely unknown to me. I had never considered the possibility that there could be a different reason for the issue which is causing the same error message. Such incidents have happened to me a couple of times and full disclosure that the opposite has happened definitely more times meaning I thought something was the cause of the issue and it actually was the cause. Nonetheless, those couple of times when things didn't turn out to be as I expected I realized that always keep an option open that you can be wrong. You don't know everything and there are things that may be out of your imagination. Always keep a place for that. Never believe I know everything.

Be absolutely clear on what you want to do -

One should regularly have this conversation with oneself. What is it that you want to do? What is it that you don't want to do? In which case will you do a certain thing which you hate. It is important to have all these conversations with yourself.

After I gained some experience in my career. I started formulating what I want to do with my life, and what technologies I want to work on. Yes, this list keeps on updating but at any given point in time, I try to have a good idea of what I want to do. I had decided that I want to have a job where I can work with R programming language. R is not something that is widely used, it is a niche language used in specific companies in specific industries. I knew this fact but I love working with R so I accepted it.

I got an email from a google recruiter for a potential job offer. I was so excited that this was coming from Google. It is a dream company for me and millions of others. I had an initial call with the recruiter where she tried to understand my background and motivation and I did the same. The recruiter clarified with me that this is a software engineering position and the interview would be around the same. They will ask me about DS & Algo and the available language to code are Java, Python, and C#. R was not on the list. If I pass my interview then I would expect to be coded in one of these languages at my job. I shared with the recruiter that I work with R usually and this is what I am good at. She told me you can think about this and let me know if you want to go ahead with this interview or not. I was confused, it was Google but then it also involved doing something that was not on my list. After giving it a lot of thought, I finally send an email to the recruiter saying that I would not be considering this and thanked them for the opportunity.

Looking back, I have no regrets and I believe that I took the right decision. I don't know if I would have cleared the interview but even if I would then doing a job you don't see yourself doing is not something I want to do. I made myself a promise and I want to keep it. It saves time and energy for the future.

Give your absolute best for things that matter -

Interviews usually have a take-home assignment. They give 2-3 days to complete a task. There is a lot of scope to be creative and you can tackle such problems in a variety of different ways. Sometimes, I think of various things that I can do in this assignment but somehow do not complete it due to a variety of reasons. Sometimes the 3 days are not enough, or I did a lot of things already and now I am lazy to do more things, or I think it is not worth doing so much for a simple interview. I got rejected from these interviews and then I start thinking I should have done those things which I had decided I'll do but it was too late. From then I decided to do all the things which I know I want to do. I started asking for extra time if the time is not sufficient and most of the time the company agrees with it.

I started applying this at a lot of other places as well later. If something is important to you then you should give your everything to it. It is not worth going in half-heartedly. You know a romantic dinner once a week will strengthen your relationship, do it. You know exercising at least 30 mins a day is important for your health, do it. When you say something is important to you, show it is really important.

To get the best results out of someone, convince your reason to others

I am the tech lead on the project that I am working on at work. In the last 2 years, I took multiple interviews hiring for new team members and I have realized that hiring is very difficult. After hiring, bringing out the best work from others is equally difficult. The person should be motivated to give their best in the work that they are doing. They need to believe in the work they are doing. If they are doing a particular task just because you or someone else have told them, you'll see average work but to see their best work they need to be convinced that this is something that they want to do and that the approach that is being taken is the valid one.

Yelling/Shouting/Explaining still will not produce the same quality of work. I am learning a skill to find a middle ground where it can be a win-win situation for both you and the other person.

No small talks, sraight to the point.

When arranging a meeting give them some context about what the meeting is about so that they know what to expect when in the meeting. I find a lot of people arranging 1:1 meetings with no subject or description. This is very confusing and does not give a chance for others to prepare for the meeting.

When you want to ask something to someone via text ask the main question in the first message itself instead of starting with small talk. The worst is when the conversation on texts goes like this:

They: "Hi".

30 mins later

you: "Hi"

30 mins later

They: "How are you doing?"

30 mins later

you: "Doing good. And you? "

30 mins later

They: Me too. Hey, I wanted to ask you about .....

Instead, what I would prefer doing is -

You: Hey, how are you doing? I wanted to ask you about ....

This will save a lot of time and all the small talk can be done at the end if you are genuinely interested but first finish the things that you started the conversation for.

Money should not be the 1st important thing

I am lucky to get to work on a lot of interesting projects. I also have the privilege now to choose the things that I am going to work on. While deciding on whether or not to be a part of a particular project I always ensure that money is not the only thing that I am getting from the project. A project should give you something apart from money. Previously, when I did not have this luxury of choosing the projects, I did projects just for the money. I was miserable, did not enjoy it all, and used to really get frustrated with these projects. Sometimes I did not even deliver my best work with it. I don't want to do that. I want to give my best work on every project that I work on. I realize immediately that getting good money is not enough to be happy, to get good work done. I would need something more than that. It is then I decided to work on things that give you something more than money. It could be anything - a unique experience, a learning opportunity, a connection/friendship. There should be at least one thing that is equally important to money if not more.

Follow someone blindly.

In general, I have a lot of interest in knowing how successful people think, what their habits are and what routines they follow. On the other hand, I also have problems doing things that I have not experienced myself. I hear a lot of people saying that they read a lot of books, and a lot of them saying they get up very early in the morning every day. Now my tiny and analytical brain can't rationalize this. I am thinking what benefit does anyone get from reading books? Why is it important to wake up early? Although I did not have answers to these questions at that time I still started doing the same thing as these successful people. I trusted them blindly and it took me some time to realize their true benefits. It is then I can go back and say "Oh! This is why those people said those things."

Again going back to one of the things that I said above. If you keep your mind open and accept that you do not know everything then it is easy to do this. You have to hope that this is something which will be good for me in the future. I do not see its immediate benefits, right now but someday I will be able to understand this completely. You need to be very picky to choose the person that you choose to follow blindly. Not everyone is worth it.

Don't aim for trending topics, aim for lifelong wisdom.

I listen to a lot of podcasts and there are a lot of choices out there. Now, we have podcasts for every category and topic. I follow a few of them. Few creators have amazing podcast guests and their content is very interesting but sometimes they bring on guests because they are the trending topic today. For example, on one podcast someone brought a guest who had won a reality show recently. On another one, they brought a guest whose video went viral. They think if we bring on guests which people are talking about now, we will get more eyeballs (or ears for podcasts :P) and they are right. I think it does work to increase consumption but this is not something that I want to consume. I don't want to consume content that is relevant today and I don't know if it will be useful or not tomorrow. I am more focused on things that give me lifelong learning.

This can be applied in so many places. For example, choosing your career or doing an investment. Many people chose AI or invest in cryptocurrency because it is trending right now and they don't even think if this is something that will give them lifelong learning/happiness.

Don't accept things that you don't want.

This lesson I have learned recently and looking back at my life till now I realised that it is true in so many instances. Let's say you want 100 Rs for something and someone comes along and offers you 500 Rs. Our immediate reaction is to accept it immediately without giving it a second thought. I have done this so many times. You wish for something and if someone gives you more than what you ask then your first reaction is to accept it. However, the problem with this is when you were asking for 100 Rs you exactly knew what you are going to do with it. You have also thought through the implications of that 100 Rs. When you accept 500 Rs you don't know what is attached to that amount. What exactly do you need to give to the person who gives you 500 Rs. You have not planned how you are going to use it. Money is just an example but this is also true for lot of other things.

You can apply this at many places except when you are negotiating for salary. At that time, if someone is giving you more money than you ask just take it....Ohhh , wait! Maybe not !!

You cannot change people

This might be a topic of debate but after going back and forth a lot of times I think I am going to settle on this. You cannot change people, you can only change your response to them. Change is very difficult especially as you grow older. Bringing in a permanent change requires quite a few things -

Agreement of the concerned party that they really want to change.

Continuous effort from both sides

Lot of patience.

Doing all 3 can be quite exhausting. This doesn't work at least for me so I focus on adapting according to the current situation thinking that the person is not going to change. Since that gives back control to me it is peaceful and I don't feel annoyed or irritated.

Nothing is black and white

Every situation, every person is shade of grey. A person or situation cannot be completely bad. It has something positive or good in it. We need to practice and develop a vision to see it. It is not easy especially when you are in that situation to see it, but trust me once you develop the skill it will really be helpful.

For example, you have been practicing day in and out for some exam and you fail in it. In that situation, lot of people would think that their life is over and nothing in their life would make sense. However, can you build a habit which will help you look at things positively even in this situation? Same goes for people, we label people as good or bad. Then whatever comes from them is labelled accordingly. Not realizing that everyone has some good and bad qualities in them.

Think in terms of 3rd person

Whenever you are stuck in a situation and don't know what to do think in terms of third person. Imagine a friend is sharing this with you and asking for a solution to you. The answer that you will give to the friend is the actual solution that you need.

We get too personal with our problems and that is why we lack the ability to think clearly. How can he/she talk to me like that? He always does this to me. It is only me who has to sacrifice every time. And if a friend tells you the same thing, you'll respond to them to let it go. Or in relationship you need to do all such kind of adjustments. As a 3rd person it is very much clear to us what needs to be done. It is difficult to follow this advice because if a friend gives you the advice to let it go, then you'll respond by "You don't know what I am going through" but still sadly to let it go is the real solution.

I have taken example of relationships but it can be applied to any situation. You need to zoom out and look at the bigger picture which is difficult when you are attached to the problem.

Wow, this was a very big post. Initially, when I started writing this post I only had 2 points in mind but as I started writing more things started to pop up. Maybe I'll come back after some years to update this with my latest findings.

#lifelessons #thought #principles

[shahronak47]

Singapore

I and my wife visited Singapore for the holidays. This was my second time visiting Singapore, however, this time I was going for a longer duration and covering more places. There is a quick 40-mins flight from KL to Changi Airport, Singapore. We had an early morning flight and we reached Singapore at 8 am. We had heard and seen a lot about Jewel at the Singapore airport and that it is worth visiting it. After enquiring about it we came to know that the Jewel opens at about 10 AM. There was a lot of time remaining for that so we thought it is better that we cover it later instead.

We were staying at our friend's place so took a cab from the airport and reached there. Had some breakfast and relaxed a bit till the afternoon. Then we head out to Changi airport (again) to see the Jewel and roam the mall at the airport.

Day 1 -

It is a wonderful and breathtaking experience. There was also a small laser show. The jewel was very well decorated with a lot of greenery around it.

The mall was quite full due to Christmas break. There are a lot of things/experiences to do at the airport so consider yourself very lucky if your flight gets delayed and you are stuck at Changi airport. We had some coffee and cakes there and then went to Merlion after that.

We clicked some photos at Merlion and then went to Boat Quay which is connected to it. It is a very lively place with lots of bars, pubs, and restaurants on the riverside. The restaurants are on a bit expensive side but the money is for the ambience and the view. Singapore is well connected by busses and MRT and we did all the traveling with public transport. You can always book a cab with the Grab or Gojek app if needed to reach early and on time somewhere.

Day 2 -

On Day 2 we went to the art and science museum and experienced the future world museum. It was a very unique experience. The ticket was 20$. There is also a mall connected to the art and science museum at Marina Bay Sands which had all the premium outlets and all the brands that you can think of. Apple and Luis Vuitton have island stores and are also very different. Apple store is especially very unique as it is completely glass in the middle of the water.

Then we saw the laser show, the duration of which was 15 minutes and it was scheduled at 8 and 9 pm. The water laser show is similar to what we had seen in Dubai (near Burj Khalifa) or Kuala Lumpur (near KLCC).

Day 3 -

On Day 3, we visited one of our other friends and went on a night safari. During the morning time, we also strolled around Orchard road. The night safari experience was different as we sat in the Tram to observe animals in their natural habitat. There were deer, antelope, lions, elephants, fishing cats, and many other animals. What was amazing was we all in the tram were very close to them and these trams were coming every 5 mins crossing their "territory" but none of the animals seems annoyed or disturbed by it. I was worried that some animal would attack us in the open tram. But to my surprise, they were sitting calmly, eating their food, or giving us poses to click photos. The tram ride was around 30 mins long and since it was Sunday when we visited there was a lot of rush and queue.

Later, there was a show called creatures of the night in the amphitheater which was amazing where they brought a lot of animals on stage, showed some tricks, and explained their peculiarities.

Day 4 -

On this day, we went to the gardens by the bay. Visited the flower dome and cloud forest. Cloud forest had a unique Avatar theme. The amazing part of both of these places was that they are inside an enclosed area and they have managed to grow and maintain all different kinds of vegetation inside. There is a lot of greenery inside the dome which is soothing to the eyes. 1 hour is enough to be spent in the flower dome and cloud forest respectively excluding the time you spent in the queue.

After that, we visited the OCBC skywalk for 10$. It's a small walkway connecting all the trees in the gardens by the bay. You can spend around 15-20 mins going from one point to the other. There was a light show in the gardens at 7.45 pm.

Day 5 -

This day was completely dedicated to shopping. We went to Bugis street. It was a paradise for shopping. So my wife was very happy on this day and I did get some free games to play there so I was happy as well. In the evening, we also went to Clark Quay with friends.

Day 6 -

On this day, we went to Sentosa island. We did the Luge Ride and booked the 7.40 pm slot for the wings of time show. I did not hear about Luge ride before this but it was fun to do it. We then sat on the beach which was very pleasant during the evening time. Made a sand castle (not actually a castle but something similar) and it was a lot of fun.

Day 7 -

Me and my wife, we both are big F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans. While preparing our itinerary for Singapore one thing which we had listed was Friends Cafe in Singapore and I am glad we got time to do it. The cafe was a little less than what we had expected. F.R.I.E.N.D.S is always running there and you can drink coffee in a special F.R.I.E.N.D.S mug. They had made the menu customized in accordance with the characters in F.R.I.E.N.D.S and the cafe was a bit on the expensive side. We had some coffee and pasta there and clicked a lot of photos before leaving.

Later in the evening, we went to the observation deck at marina bay sands which gives the complete City view from the 57th floor. I have visited such observation decks in Kuala Lumpur at KL Tower and Burj Khalifa in Dubai which is at a greater height. Marina Bay observation deck is not something out of the world but gives you a decent city view. In fact, it does not even have a complete 360-degree view, just 150-180 degrees. We went to the deck around 6-6.15pm to get both day and night views in the lights.

Day 8 -

This was our last day in Singapore and had reserved it for Universal Studio. Since we were at the end of December in Singapore, we were expecting a lot of rush here. Universal Studios is a tourist hot spot. We reached there before 11 am and there was already a big queue to enter the amusement park. We already had a "plan" on the rides that we were going to do and how we were going to approach them but you cannot plan everything ;-) We went to the Jurrasic park ride first but it was not yet started. After waiting for 30 mins or so the ride actually started. All the rides that we did were fun but the long queues just spoiled the fun. I was measuring all the time we spent in the queue. We waited in the queue for 1 hour 40 mins for the "Transformers" ride, 1 hour 25 mins for "The Mummy". All the rides had long queues and the more time we spent in there the more we started questioning whether it is worth to be waiting in queue for this long for a 30-second, 1-minute ride? The worst part was that there was no place to sit in any of the rides while you are in the queue. Everyone was tired and till afternoon we could see everyone dragging themselves in the queue, trying to find any place where they can sit or rest for while. So many times, they didn't budge to sit down on the floor as well just to relax a bit from long-standing in the queue.

For Christmas, universal studios had arranged a special Christmas circus show which was fun and entertaining.

As a tourist I loved Singapore but there were a few things that I was not totally comfortable with. One of which is overly dependent on technology and digitalization. Here are some examples -

I stayed at my friend's place where there were multiple entries and exit points to get in and out of the place. The way to open the door was through an app. Using an access card is the most common way that I know of but using an app to do so is something that I had never seen before. Maybe that is for added security. You can easily share the access card with anyone but not the app since it has login credentials. However, this also has its downside. What if I want to go for a morning run and don't want any kind of disturbance there including my phone? How do I get in or out? What if the internet service is poor on my phone? What if the app is down?

In a lot of places, strictly no cash is allowed. Eg- to travel by bus you need an MRT card or use your debit/credit card. Some attractions had the same policy for taking the ticket no hard cash was allowed. This is a little inconvenient for me as a tourist. I don't want to pay hefty currency exchange rates by the banks and I am still a bit old school and carry local currency in cash wherever I'm traveling.

I went to one restaurant where the washroom for ladies and gents was combined. They had a wash basin outside and a simple partition door if you had to go to the washroom. The partition door was semi-automated. You press a button the door opens, you go inside and press another button, and the door locks, do your business, unlock the door and come outside. This was best case scenario but it didn't work with me like that. When I went inside the door was not getting locked at all. I pressed the lock button, and the door tried closing but then opened again which happened 3-4 times then I realized this might be because I was too close to the door and the sensor is sensing that I want to go out. I finally went to the very end of the washroom which was not that big anyway and then the door got locked. Very annoying. A simple door knob would be easier I believe and would have saved me a lot of time. Instead of pressing the button and I would have locked/unlocked the door knob with more sense of security and without all the downsides and edge cases of this automated door.

However, one part of automation that I absolutely loved was the immigration system at the airport. It is so fast and efficient. While returning back there was no need to interact with any human at all. Scan your passport, scan your face, and be done. Didn't even take one complete minute to complete the process of immigration which was amazing.

Overall, it was a very nice and fun trip. It was after a very long time that I could completely disconnect and relax. Since we were in Singapore for 8 days, we could cover everything that we wanted in a relaxed manner. We did not cram two difficult spots in one day. I loved Singapore, it is clean, it is well connected with public transport, it has a lot of things that you can do and it is also tourist friendly. Singapore however, is an expensive city, things are expensive here in general especially when I am coming from Malaysia/India and comparing those prices with Singapore. Apart from that no other complaints, it is a good end to 2022.

Happy New Year and welcome 2023. 🤩🥳🥳🥳🤩

#singapore #travel

[shahronak47]

Ellora caves

Recently, I visited Ajanta and Ellora caves in Aurangabad district of Maharashtra. The caves are very old. Ajanta caves is focussed on paintings whereas Ellora is focussed on carvings. We have learned about these caves in school but I never got a chance to visit them.

Due to time constraint, we could visit only one cave in Ellora which was made out of a single rock. The carvings of this single rock are always done in top-down fashion so they start carving from the top and then slowly come down to the bottom. That cave is dedicated to lord Shiva and is very huge. I was totally amazed by it’s architecture. There is a main temple at the centre and is surrounded by a boundary which has different panels to demonstrate various life incidents of the lord Shiva. The panels are wonderfully carved and the details are still visible after more than 1000 years of it’s carving. According to the guide there, each panel took 25-30 years to be completed. There are 3 people who usually work on the panel, one is the artist who is working on the carvings, another person who takes the sand and stones out and the third one is the lead artist who looks at the overall plan of the panel to make sure that things are progressing as expected. 

Some of the carvings in the panel were incomplete. The artist while carving hits a hard rock and realised that it could not be carved further to shape it in the way he wanted, that's when they decide they cannot work on the panel anymore. It takes us one second to say that the panels are incomplete but for the artist it is like 10-15 years of his life. He starts carving, completes some part of it and then realise that it cannot be further completed. Can you imagine how heart breaking it is? I mean you spend 10 years of your life working on a project, imagining day in and out how amazing the final product will look like and suddenly one day you find out that it’s not going to work out the way you had imagined. All your efforts for last 10 years are a waste. 

There are approximately 8-10 generations who have worked on the caves. The level of planning which was undertaken is mind blogging. I actually got a tear in my eye thinking about the vastness of the project which was undertaken. Can you imagine the level of patience those people had? To work on a single thing for 25 years of your life…It is exhausting even to think about it. When I compare it with today’s generation I hardly find any level of patience that is left in us. For example, today we want things now. Imagine we want to buy a new iPhone and for that we are saving for 3 years. Every month we keep some amount on side so that one day we will have enough money saved up to be able to afford that phone. The day we finally hit that target amount to be able to afford that phone is the happiest day of our life. However, what do we today? We buy the phone on EMI/loan/credit. We want the new phone in our hand as soon as it is launched. It is easy to buy anything on loan nowadays irrespective if you afford it or not. Is it a good thing ? Is it a bad thing? I don’t know. However, I feel by doing this we are loosing an important characteristic in us which is patience. We don’t know how to wait for things, earn them and truly deserve them.

The Ellora caves were a built over the period of 200 years. So the person who started the project never saw the end of it and the person who ended the project never saw the start of it. Can we today think about building something which exists beyond us? Do we have that vision? Today, we switch jobs every 3-5 years. We don’t believe in the projects that we are working on. There is no loyalty as it was present in the olden days. Nor from the employees and not from the employers. 

Another thing which I was surprised was the technical knowledge these people had earlier. You can’t just create a cave out of any rock. It requires some amount of study which needs to be undertaken to make sure that the rock can hold this structure. There are some horizontal structures which are standing even after 1000 years without any vertical column/beam kind of support. Hearing all this information from the guide, I think somehow we have lost all this information through generations. Today, we don’t have the same knowledge that the older generation had. We have developed our new standards which are not wrong but we developed it from the scratch and didn’t build it on top of the existing knowledge that we already had all these years back. Maybe there was no way to save this information back then and to pass to future generations. Can we do something so that this does not happen again? Whatever findings/discoveries that we have done today can we save it somehow so that the future generation has that information. Today, we can say we have internet and we can save everything on the cloud but internet is not even 30 years old. Do we know for sure that internet is going to be relevant or will be used 1000 years from now? Do we know about that? I don’t know. The previous generation tried to pass on the knowledge to us by using such carvings and paintings with such high quality that they are still intact with us after so many years. What are we going to do to pass on this knowledge to future generations?

#rock carving #maharashtra #ajanta #ellora