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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Sensitive post:

It is with much joy and gratitude we announce that we are expecting our first child, due to arrive around April 3, 2019. I would be lying to you if I said that I always knew this day would come, as there were many stretches of time that felt like it would never happen. Over two years of longing and grief led us to pursue IVF this past July. Our first egg retrieval yielded just one viable embryo—one chance at a baby. If the first transfer failed, we would have no back up embryos to try again. So we took our one chance... and it WORKED!

Gratitude sometimes doesn’t feel like a big enough word to express how incredible it feels to finally see our dreams come true. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and our village may be larger than most. Our village is comprised of: every friend who offered emotional support to us throughout the infertility/IVF process; Dr D. and her nursing team, who responded to all of my frantic voicemails for nearly two years; every member of our huge family who wanted this just as much as we did (and who let me cut the line on family dinner night, because “the baby needs this fried rice”); the embryologist who was our child’s first babysitter; my online infertility/loss/IVF support group who have been there through thick and thin; and last, but certainly not least, our dog and two cats, who are already piling up on my belly to protect their sibling from the world (and each other). Our village is extensive, and will only continue to grow from here.

Thank you to everyone who can count themselves as a member of our village. Gratitude is such a small word for how important you are to us and our baby. We can’t wait for you to meet them in April!

#1 in 8 #fertility warrior #infertile #infertility #ivf #ivf journey #ivf baby #ivf pregnancy #one in eight #fertility treatment

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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For real though, my birthday is coming up and I just want to ask people for money to pay off my medical bills. 😂

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Well guys, that’s it. I’m famous now. Matt and Doree read my email on the Eggcellent Adventure podcast.

#matt and doree’s eggcellent adventure #podcast #ivf

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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So I do these corny online tarot readings every now and then and my reading yesterday could not have been more obvious.

#ivf #ttc baby 1 #ttc journey #ttc rainbow baby #ttc #tarot cards #please please please #let this be true #I need this to be true

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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I know you’re worried, but you can do this. You will get through this. You will survive.

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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One Shot

We got the devastating news yesterday that none of our remaining embryos survived to freeze. We had 8 mature eggs; 4 of them fertilized right away, 2 fertilized late. So of the 5 remaining after we transferred one, none survived. We literally have just this one chance to get pregnant this round, and zero chance for a second child without another retrieval.

I’m still hopeful that the one inside me right now will grow into a beautiful, healthy baby, but not having any backup embryos leaves me with a layer of stress that I never imagined. I truly believed that as a young, relatively healthy person, I would have too many embryos to even dream of using! It’s so surprising to me to learn that something might actually be wrong with my eggs/ovaries. The uncertainty of it all is what kills me the most. If we *knew* what was wrong with me, it would be easier to come to terms with the odds.

My insurance only covers two rounds of IVF, so if we have to do another round, that’s it. I’ll definitely talk to my doctor beforehand about protocol changes and what this all could mean for my egg health. I also have a sneaking suspicion that something’s up with my thyroid, despite being on synthroid. I’m going to ask for a full thyroid panel to see if my T3 is adequate, since I’ve only ever been tested for TSH. If my T3 is low, synthroid wouldn’t do anything for it. That would explain my continued hypothyroid symptoms despite my healthy TSH level.

Anyway... I’m going to choose hope today that this all won’t matter and I have my baby inside me right now. If you pray, please pray for us. If you’re more of a positive vibes and well-wishes person, please send some our way.

#ivf #infertilty #1 in 4 #1 in 8 #infertile #ivf journey #one in four #one in eight #ttc journey #ttc baby 1 #ttc rainbow baby #embryos #thyroid #hypothyroidism #hypothyroid #prayer request #positive vibes

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Hi baby!!!

#embryo #embaby #ivf journey #ivf #transfer #one in eight #one in four #1 in 8 #1 in 4 #ttc baby 1 #ttc rainbow baby #ttc #infertility

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Heading in for accupuncture tomorrow morning at 9:00 and transfer at 10:30! Prayers/positive vibes/best wishes appreciated!

#IVF #transfer day #accupuncture #one in eight #one in four #1 in 8 #1 in 4 #ttc baby 1 #ttc journey #ttc rainbow baby #infertility #prayer request

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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But why is the needle 1.5 inches

Literally going weak in the knees trying to give myself this PIO injection. My husband was here to help me last night and after 15 minutes of crying, I let him do it. Tonight he’s working and I CANNOT force myself to put this needle anywhere near my ass without wanting to faint. I was never needle-weary until I started IVF and now that I have experience as a literal human pincushion, I just can’t do it anymore. 😖

#ivf #infertilty #1 in 4 #1 in 8 #fertility warrior #infertile #infertility #ivf journey #one in four #one in eight #fertility treatment #in vitro fertilization

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Woulda, coulda, shoulda

If your insurance covers ICSI but you don’t “need” ICSI, just do it anyway. All 8 eggs were mature (CAPITAL YAY), but only 4 fertilized (lowercase yay). If we had done ICSI, we would have 8 embryos (whomp whomp).

Oh well, 4 embryos are better than none. Praying that all 4 make it to day 5 so we can use one and freeze the rest for the future.

#ivf #icsi #fertility treatment #infertility #1 in 8 #1 in 4 #one in eight #one in four #ivf journey #embryos #embabies #ttc #ttc rainbow baby #ttc baby 1 #rainbow baby #in vitro fertilization

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Retrieval

Everything went well and I’m feeling totally fine, besides some cramping. We got 8 eggs!

#retrieval day #egg retrieval #ivf #ivf journey #1 in 8 #1 in 4 #one in eight #one in four #infertility #fertility treatment #ttc rainbow baby #ttc baby 1 #ttc journey #ttc #rainbow baby

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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I believe that the egg which will become my child will be retrieved from my body today.

#retrieval day #ivf #ivf journey #infertile #infertility #infertility treatment #egg retrieval #positive thoughts #positivity #1 in 8 #1 in 4 #one in right #one in four #fertility warrior

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sensitive-post · 6 years

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Here we go!

Today I had my last ultrasound and bloodwork for this stim cycle. I will trigger tonight at 11:45 and go in for retrieval on Wednesday at 10:45. I’m a little bummed because I only have 9 visible follicles and only 2 of them are greater than 19 mm. The rest are between 11-15 mm. I know there’s still time to grow, but I assumed I’d have way more follicles than this.

The doctor said that what I lack in quantity should be made up in quality since I’m still so young. I’ll be 27 next month. Still, I never thought I’d see myself at 27 years old, childless, going through infertility treatments, with possibly failing ovaries. I was hoping we’d get a bunch of good embryos to freeze so I wouldn’t have to go through another retrieval for the next baby or (god forbid) if the first round doesn’t work out.

Anyway... trying not to lose hope, but also trying not to set my hopes too high. This journey has been riddled with crushed hopes and it’s very exhausting. I’m going into this with the acceptance that it may not work, but the hope that it will. If you’re the positive vibes type, please send some our way! If you’re the praying type, please pray for us! Whatever helpful energy you have, we appreciate whatever you can spare for us.