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rubifer · 1 hour
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Trans femme Dean is, to me, such a consuming headcanon just because of how despite not being intuitive, the second it's in your head it all just clicks. Once you see it, every other aspect of the character fits in perfectly. To just talk about one aspect of it—childhood signs.
Because yes, Dean would have never shown any signs of being anything other than a boy—but how could she? The stereotypical trans girl awakening is sneaking into their moms' closets to try on their shoes and dresses, and Dean didn't have a mom. There was nothing even remotely feminine she could try out because she lived with two men.
Yeah, Dean didn't play with dolls as a kid—but of course she didn't. She didn't need a baby doll. She had Sammy. She wasn't pretending to take care of kids, she actually was.
Sure Dean never asked for different clothes or toys—she didn't have very many to begin with. The few toys they had were Sam's. Her clothes couldn't be any less masculine because they all became Sam's clothes when she grew out of them. And of course, a Dean used to surviving on the bare minimum in motel rooms isn't going to be inclined to ask for much of anything at all.
Dean was around eight when the Shtriga attack happened and she learned that she could never do anything for herself or it would all fall apart. She learned to suppress every desire she had so she could be John's perfect son at eight. From that ridiculously young age onwards, everything is repressed. Everything. Always. She cannot show anything less than hypermasculinity because even if John never says anything, even if John would have been supportive (and truth be told, we have no way of knowing), Dean thinks that any outward femininity would disappoint John. John is perfect and divine, and he's a man. So Dean must also be a man to be anywhere close to as ideal as he is.
A lot of trans headcanons are about the joy of seeing yourself in a fictional character, or the beauty of embracing yourself. This is not that. This is about the tragedy of Dean Winchester. Dean, in the end, doesn't have an identity. Dean has thrown out any wants and desires of his own so he can be the person John wanted him to be. Dean doesn't allow himself to see any future besides what he already has. He doesn't dream. He doesn't want. If you make Dean a trans woman, that is just so, so much worse, because even when she connects the dots, even when she knows exactly who she is and what she wants, she is never going to take it. She needs to be the perfect hunter, and hunters are masculine. She needs to blend in when trying to get information, and she knows with her height and her shoulders and her voice, she's never going to pass.
So Dean stays in the closet. She drinks and fucks to try and distract herself from the dysphoria. And maybe on late nights when she's sure Sam is asleep, she steals his laptop and reads trans forums and fantasizes about what she could have in another life. But in this life? She's never going to do it. Her father didn't sacrifice himself so she could give up hunting and be a poor imitiation of a woman. He sacrificed himself so Dean could be a hunter and help people. To do that, she needs to keep being a man.
Trans Dean Winchester isn't about asking "could estrogen have saved her?" It's realizing that nothing ever could saved Dean because she is simply too unwilling to help herself or put herself first.
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rubifer · 2 hours
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tragic. they found an angel stcuk tangled in the telephone wires outsside your house. sorruy. yeah we dont know how to get it out cus anyone who approached the divine light of their holy aura got obliterated. yeah we forgot their names. it'll probably get free sooner or later. dont go outside
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rubifer · 2 hours
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O, Death...
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rubifer · 14 hours
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they are cancelling john winchester for dealing with his grief as best he can. and also the child endangerment.
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rubifer · 3 days
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I hate the weird religious ads ive been seeing on tumblr lately but also it's a pretty fun aesthetic for this blog <3
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rubifer · 3 days
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I should have never taken you along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake, I knew I was wrong —
SUPERNATURAL 2.01 In My Time of Dying
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rubifer · 3 days
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Hiraku Suzuki (鈴木ヒラク) Constellation #03, 2016 Constellation #04, 2016 [Silver ink, Chinese ink on Fabriano paper]
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rubifer · 3 days
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🩸Bloody Dean Every Episode🩸 ↳ 5x05 || Fallen Idols
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rubifer · 5 days
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Oh Mama, I’m in fear for my life From the long arm of the law Lawman has put an end to my running And I’m so far from my home
SPNNostalgia | The Winchester Brothers
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rubifer · 5 days
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Stackednatural- 267/327
Hammer of the Gods (5x19) April 22nd, 2010
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rubifer · 6 days
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Ethiopian Orthodox icon of Saint Michael the Archangel.
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rubifer · 6 days
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Title: To Play The Part Author: QuicksilverCastiel (@michaelmilligan) Artist: bakh_meliorism (@bakh-meliorism) Rating: Teen Warnings: n/a Tags: Joseph and his family are side characters, This is a horror story in a way, But also one about friendship, And trust and hope, No relationship here my girl is a virgin, And like fourteen Word count: 22,816 Featured characters: Mary Mother of Jesus | Maryam bint Imran, Joseph of Nazareth, Raphael (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Featured relationships: n/a
Summary: Mary has been living in The Temple for as long as she can remember. Then, suddenly, she is forced to live with a man she doesn't know, and who is old enough to be her grandfather. Things only get worse when an angel appears to her to announce that she is pregnant with a future king of the people
Link to fic | Link to art
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rubifer · 8 days
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I've been watching spn since high school but for some reason it took me this long to make actual art for it.
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rubifer · 8 days
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Supernatural Archangels!
Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel
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For the pose I used chibi-sample from the internet.
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rubifer · 9 days
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"Obsession"
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rubifer · 10 days
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cinemasins counter every time angel grace is a euphemism for cum
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rubifer · 10 days
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sorry(?)
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