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it’s starting to feel like summer

like watching numbers go down on a scale

like long walks under the sun

like fainting all alone in my room and no one knowing

like crying myself to sleep through the humidity

like new scars on my thighs

like bruised knuckles and more bruises to follow

like riding my bike for hours

like my dog is my best friend

like reading and watching and consuming and projecting

like hopeless lonely hours and hours of endless dissociation and romanticization of what’s not real

#summer #poetry #summer depression #ed relapse #tw relaspe #sh #help

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i shouldn’t cry every time i leave call

i don’t want to talk to them bc they don’t want me to talk i feel like such a burden

these are my best friends?

#roorants #poetry

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Anne Sexton, from The Black Art

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i’m actually the ghost of a tormented poet in love with melancholy who sits on patches of moss in the moors sorry you had to find out this way

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Mary Elizabeth Braddon, The Doctor's Wife (1864)

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im feeling like giving into to the calling of the void

#roorants #poetry

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you know when you get that itching your palms? and you feel yourself start to pull away and there’s an urge to abandon most of friends and just stop showing up to hang outs or replying to messages

what’s that all about lol?

#roorants #mental health #adhd #impulsive #intrusive thoughts #anxeity

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where do i put all my anger if not in my body?

#roorants

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via weheartit

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you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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i stay quiet, i get told i'm not doing enough

i speak up, i get told i'm putting my voice in drama where its not needed, even if the "drama" is my own situation and my own feelings

i do not understand how to navigate this internet anymore

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Honestly, without you in my life deep inside I have never felt alive.

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it’s productive to stay in a relationship that is hurting my mental health, it’s not productive to stay in a relationship where i feel unloved it’s not healthy god it’s not healthy

i still miss you tho

#roorants #breakup #i miss you

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that james baldwin quote where he says, “it took many years of vomiting up all the filth i’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before i was able to walk on the earth as though i had a right to be here.”

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I am not immune to the two-headed calf poem