prettygirlsarepsycho - Tumblr blog

prettygirlsarepsycho · 1 year

Text

Female Suffering is beautiful?

I have not posted on tumblr in a while because I was not doing well mentally. I've honestly been struggling a lot with depression, anxiety, and my bpd. One thing I've noticed in particular over the past few months, when you're not feeling well and you like some posts online that fit your depressed mood, it happens quickly that the algorithm keeps suggesting more and more to you on that particular topic/mood causing you to fall down a rabbit hole.

Regardless of this, it is also not unheard of that in the "coquette community" one often encounters stories that romanticize the pain, suffering and oppression of women. Some good examples of this in music are Lana del Rey's "Ultraviolence," in which the singer talks about, among other things, not being able to leave a violent relationship because every punch from her counterpart feels as good as a kiss. Another example in film is "The Lover (1992)", where a young girl, despite abuse, stays with her way too-old husband and it is presented as a beautiful love story.

But why do we romanticise and downplay suffering especially when it comes to the female gender? Why does depression suddenly become this poetic, desirable, fascinating thing?

In order to answer this question properly we have to talk about gender roles and how women came to be "the weaker sex". Nowadays, it is assumed that thousands of years ago, when the human species came into being and men and women had no understanding of each other they still shared a strong bond called ‘The Naked Ape’, despite their physical and behavioral differences. Males and females stayed together thereby creating family like arrangements. Starting from birth their human babies required care and supervision, regardless of gender. But when they approached the age of puberty, significant differences were experienced by them due to biological differences.

Girls started menstruating and had no control over it. Because humans were hunters and had seen blood only in life-ending situations, they started associating menstrual blood with physical disability. This belief was strengthened due to the pains and cramps experienced by menstruating women. Further, women kept on bearing children as there was no understanding of control on child birth. Both these facts, added to the then prevalent short life expectancy, led to a situation where women were either in the stage of pregnancy or post partum care during most of their adult life.

As a result, women in general were never in a state of physical or emotional fitness which would enable them to leave their abode and participate in typically male activities such as hunting and collecting food. During all these stages, they required complete care and support from men, both physically and emotionally. Thus, women became dependent upon men. This strong feeling of weak physical health in their minds made them literally a ‘weaker’sex.

As said, the labor to which women are condemned, like the process of childbirth, generates sensitivity and empathy in us. From this comes a moral knowledge for women, not because they are in a female body, but because of what female bodies are made to do. Giving birth is not only a psychological task, but also a physically demanding one. Because we are able to endure such pain and bounce back shortly after to care for our children, studies show that hospitals often overestimate women's ability to endure pain. This pattern is also evident in the commonly used saying, "If you hit a woman, you hit a rock." This sounds tremendously empowering and encouraging, but I believe that such rhetoric does more harm than good. I believe that women should not be rocks because being hit is inevitable. When we romanticize the idea that women are made to endure suffering and that their strength lies in their resilience, we create more room for abuse of power against them.

Now that we have clarified the historical background of why women are considered more fragile, why is their suffering ultimately beautiful?

Susan Sontag has described the nineteenth-century flowering of a "nihilistic and sentimental" logic that found appeal in female suffering: "Sadness made one 'interesting.' It was a sign of sophistication, of sensitivity, to be sad. It meant being powerless." This attraction largely carried over to the disease: "Sadness and tuberculosis became synonyms," she writes, and both were coveted. Sadness was interesting, and the disease was its servant, providing not only cause but symptoms and metaphors: an agonizing cough, a pallid pallor, an emaciated body. "The melancholic character was a superior character: sensitive, creative, an independent being," she writes. Illness was "a burgeoning weakness … symbolized an attractive vulnerability, a superior sensitivity, [and] became more and more the ideal look for women."

Women's pain turns them into kittens and rabbits and sunsets and dirty goddesses of red satin; it makes them pale and bloody and starves them, delivers them to death camps and sends their strands of hair to the stars. Men put them on trains and under trains. Violence makes them heavenly. Age makes them old. We cannot look away. We can't stop thinking up new ways to hurt them!

I cannot lie and say that I have not become a victim of this romanticization of grief. Why would I see my depression as an illness that makes it difficult for me to take care of my physical health, hygiene and goals, when I can ignore the harsh reality and present it as a fascinating melancholic experience? It's just easier to deal with when mental illness is portrayed desirably.

Thank you guys for reading!! If there's anything you need to talk about you can write me a dm on Instagram @purelypoisonousapple

-Lia ♡

7 notes · View notes

prettygirlsarepsycho · 2 years

Text

Hello lovelies!

I am the author of this blog…. Everyone is welcome here, we talk about a wide range of topics, but mostly about being a woman, mental health, Kpop, self-improvement and my own life. If anyone ever needs help, advice, support or even just wants to vent, my dms are always open. You can consider this blog a safe space and me, a bit, like an internet sister. I hope you will stay around and wait for my posts. And if anyone wants to be moots let me know. (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

Pictures aren't mine unless specifically marked. You can dm me for credit or removal. 🏹✨

-L

2 notes · View notes

prettygirlsarepsycho · 2 years

Text

-How to glow up mentally-

I think we've all searched for glow up videos on YouTube or tiktok at one time or another, trying to change our appearance to better fit into the 'beauty standards'. What I have personally learned over the years is that a glow up starts from within. If you hate yourself, even a new haircut won't do you any good. For that reason, here are my 5 favorite tips for a mental glow up.

discipline over motivation I know, often people in the selfceare community talk about taking time for yourself, applying face masks, taking bubble baths and so on. But taking care of yourself and nurturing yourself also means working on your goals with discipline. Even if I don't feel like doing sports today, I do the workout because I'm doing something good for my body. This doesn't only apply to sports, but also to schoolwork, I don't procrastinate and divide my time wisely to save myself stress later.

vision boards I think this point is self-explanatory. Creating vision boards is not only fun, it helps us visualize our goals and motivates us to work towards them. I love creating vision boards. On my vision boards I put everything from professional goals to goals about my appearance, fashion, hobbies and social life. I can recommend you to use not only instagram and pinterest for mood boards but also google. Look at fashion shows, online magazines, etc., because these posts are not already filtered by your algorhythm on Pinterest and you can discover new aesthetics and whatnot that you might not have found otherwise.

new hobby Having a hobby not only allows you to express yourself in a sporty or creative way, but it also makes you more interesting. First of all, if it is a hobby that you do in groups or associations, you can easily meet new people and increase your social circle, but it also gives you topics of conversation in other situations, such as dating.

create a morning and night routine for yourself I know, especially when you are in a funk and not doing so well mentally, it is often hard to perform routines. But you don't need to get up at 4am, then go to the gym, clean the house, meditate, journal and then read a book. Particularly when it's a little harder for me to stick to my routines, I pick the three to four most important things. Mostly for me that's yoga, my Shower and SkinCare routine and a healthy breakfast.

meditation Meditation has many proven benefits including stress management, self-awareness, improved mood, creativity, and imagination. It is an amazing way to connect with your soul & practice self-care. On Youtube there are guided meditations for any different topics: to relax, to manifest, for beauty, motivation and so on… I promise you 10 minutes of meditation a day for a month will make you feel more relaxed and confident. If you use meditation for manifestation it can also help you to focus on your goal.

-Love, L ♡

40 notes · View notes

prettygirlsarepsycho · 2 years

Text

-Wasting your teenage years on poor mental health and how to cope with it-

Nowadays, it's not uncommon to hear about many, especially young people exposed to social media, struggling with poor mental health. Just in recent years, the corona pandemic has provided for further social isolation and thus a breeding ground for depression and anxiety disorders.

I am still so young and unfortunately I had problems with social anxiety and depression even before the pandemic. I have moved, changed schools several times, and have always had trouble maintaining profound friendships because of my anxiety. When I was invited to birthdays or parties, I usually declined. When school friends texted or called, I did not or just briefly answer. You can only decline invitations so many times before people stop trying, so I spent a lot of time alone in my room and on the Internet, which presented me with a perfect make-believe world. *Play Olivia Rodrigo's 'Jealousy, Jealousy'*

Everyone else seemed to have it so easy: good grades, friends, love, perfect looks…. Some days it inspired me to see what others (seemingly) had, but other days it threw me into a self-hating depression spiral.

If I could give myself from a few years ago advice, it would be to clearly and directly ask for help. There are so many options, school counselors, psychotherapists, online therapy, support groups, etc. I was always waiting for someone to take me by the hand and say let's get you help. The hard truth is, unfortunately, no one cares. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that you can't blame people if they don't realize how bad you are feeling, especially if you don't speak out clearly about your problems. Your parents, friends and teachers can't read your mind. There is absolutely nothing shameful about asking for help, on the contrary it is so brave and admirable. Just think of the person you can be in a year from now when you seek help.

Now, how do you deal with regret over lost time? I always try to keep in mind that it is better to start living now than never. Some people, sadly, spend their whole lives in misery. I may be starting later than my classmates or siblings, but this is my path. At the end of the day, my struggle with mental disorders has taught me to always be attentive to my fellow human beings, to be empathetic and loving to everyone.

Even though, the time was hell, I can say that I am a good person who finally deserves to live, be happy and achieve all the things I have dreamed of for so long and the same goes for you! I am so proud of every person who struggles with themselves every day but always keeps going. You deserve help. You deserve to get better. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to achieve all your dreams and so much more. I hope you get the help you need. Take care of yourself!

-Love, L ♡

Find help with following Resources:

Call a crisis hotline, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Send a text message to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

Call or text the Postpartum Support International Help Line at 800-944-4773 (#1 Español, #2 English).

The Trevor Project. LGBTQIA+ and under 25 years old? Call 866-488-7386, text START 678678 or chat online 24/7.

Veterans Crisis Line. Call 800-273-8255, text 838255, or chat online 24/7.

Befrienders Worldwide. This international crisis network can help you find a local counseling center.

17 notes · View notes