notreallyherebuteverywhere

[notreallyherebuteverywhere]

Notes App #1 Self Reflect

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What is a man without desires

A soulless being

No self

No ambitions

A mere corpse, maybe?

What makes me human?

I am extremely mundane, I love coloring books, I like art and have a passion for music, I like scary movies and love the smell of perfume. I like walks around the park, staring at people at the park, I am fond of animals- small ones, I love cats.

All normal things that make me no different from the rest of the world.

That makes me human

That makes me boring

Lately, there has been a feeling deep inside me, a strong sense of dissatisfaction, a feeling of disgust to this mundane self. I want to do something different, something big. I think of ways I could make myself different from the rest, I could dye or cut my hair, maybe travel to a different continent, start a new career, make myself a better writer but in the end

All my thoughts are human

All somewhat useless

Plain boring

I am currently 25 years old and my life has been nothing but ordinary. I have a job and do my everyday tasks quite diligently, I do what am told and one of those days during spreadsheet time and coffee-in the middle of a brainstorming of things I have to do at work and things that would make me different from the rest of the population, I thought of the occult- the forbidden- but to be frank, I don't think that is real, a year or so ago I wanted a friend, I realized I don't really know a lot of people, so I tried to summon a few creatures and for my dissatisfaction, not a single one showed up. It made me feel a little sad to think I am not being worthy of a demonic contract- all I could think about was how silly the whole occult thing is, on top of that, I had killed an animal and wasted its life over nothing plus how expensive books and tools to summon demons actually are-It was expensive! and in the end, after all that effort, not a single demon showed up! I gave it up. It is behind me the whole thought of making friends with a monster.

Oh, but how fun it would be though, to have your own servant and to enjoy a life of power, if it could be possible for a human to become a monster, I believe that would be easier- perhaps cheaper! I write down formulas and drink my coffee. I hate my job, just like everyone else.

The thought I had earlier persisted in my head for a couple hours. If it is possible to become a powerful monster, I think that could be the answer to my delirium, to my boredom, so I look into it

r/Monsters

Who are they? What makes them? and How to be one?

r/HumanMonsters

The topic of what now is my new fond interest, redditors say a monster is a killer, someone who goes above and beyond their humanity to inflict pain in others, to take their lives in the end but some people don't even do that, they become more of a psychological type, overall just mere criminals

hmm

I am familiar with killers, with psychos, but in the end, would becoming a killer make me different? I would still be a human and doing something that has been done before

in the end, what do I desire? I loose track of my goals quickly, the feeling is persistent

so I give it another day to think and set a new goal

How to become less human?

+++

To lose my humanity, I started it off by making myself feel hopeless in the world. I watched videos on different topics, politics and poverty, how it is possible to end it and why we as a society don't. I am familiar with these things but you see, humans do not spend their lives thinking about the inequalities in the world, because we are selfish. We know about them, we see homeless people all the time and do nothing about it, so I made myself the goal of thinking about these things constantly, to feel empathetic, to make myself angry at the world and to keep up with my goal, I decided to quit my job, now I am not just thinking about these things I am now in a way part of them.

I cut down my meals, and before bed I would watch mutilation videos and play a recording of screams I found online to disrupt my sleep, inflicting nightmares will affect my sleep schedule and I will slowly go insane, and so I decide to do this for a month, and see if then, when everything seemed hopeless and I had corrupted my soul, maybe then I would be vulnerable enough to achieve the courage to do something unthinkable and within a month the time to commit my first crime arrived.

***

writer's note// HI Tumblr! I thought of a lil' story while working// our MC here is sick of having a repetitive lifestyle and starts to think of ways to escape their boredom, overall I wanted to go with a self-reflective deep in thought POV! I will try to continue this series as of right now this is all my brain though of so far ^_^// I see 7 notes on my sukuna x yuji story, it makes me happy to know people liked it! Hopefully, whoever reads this one, may enjoy it as well.

#fanfic writing #journal #writers on tumblr #my ocs #continuation #possible story #notes app #psychological thriller

[notreallyherebuteverywhere]

//TW: mentions of cannibalism//

Context:

It has been 5 days since Itadori Yuji started to notice changes after being possessed by the demon Sukuna, who is mysteriously obsessed with him. Itadori notices that food starts to taste awful and slowly starts to succumb into darkness until he finally breaks

***

Oh, my sweet...

What have you done?

You look at your hands, they are covered in blood, the crimson red hurts your eyes.

Is it his?

Is it Yours?

You don't know and it is all too late, the deed is done.

My poor sweet Yuji, corrupted as you are now, you couldn't stop yourself, how possible would it be to go back to your past self? It is foolish to have such hope

You should go ahead and let yourself accept me fully now

because you know I am right and the Itadori Yuji everyone knows doesn't exist any more

Oh Yuji!

You can stop the hurting of your heart

Free yourself and listen to my voice, there is no way out of this and there is no one friend of yours who will forgive you, it will be the world against you while you stand hurt and alone, and it will be he himself who will hunt you down, he sees it all and he probably already knows what you've done! Just look at the moon shining as bright as ever over the spilled blood flowing out the lifeless body of Fushigoro Megumi, it is as if the moon herself knows, it feels incriminating, doesn't it?

Oh Yuji!

I never knew you could make me so proud!

They will try to hunt you and take you down and there is no one else here to save you but me- oh my sweet Yuji! You are what this society knows as a criminal, they will all hate you, and want you dead. The madness we have caused and the pleasure of what humans consider sinful and wrong you have tasted so let yourself get addicted! Only humans are so repressed to their own desires yet you indulge in such forbidden delight, reject that useless side of yours, let yourself to me

Oh Yuji! We can be so powerful

The beautiful horribly state of your mind got me addicted. I know what your heart is made of, the shape of your soul, the color of your blood, Oh my sweet! I know you so well. The day you allowed me into your mind and body, I had no doubts we can achieve greatness I am here to be your savior

I can protect you

We are two starving intertwined souls after all, days have passed and I know you have reached your limit, it is not your fault, as humans need to eat you could have been just so famished and Fushigoro got too close, maybe deep inside him he wanted this, he wanted you to love him forever

Don't you regret it as all three of us are one, it is our fate to be this close, do not let his death be in vain, do not be dissatisfied. You cannot escape this written fate, it is imprinted in thick unbreakable stone.

...and you can't run

Oh Yuji!

You cannot escape me any longer, these urges, they are yours...this is You

You have already tasted the forbidden, the impure and with your own hands you killed and have already eaten the flesh of another man, you sucked on the bones hungrily and drank all the blood.

This is who we are Itadori Yuji

You cannot escape fate

You cannot escape from me

as I am you

***

fic written by me :# I love the idea of a corrupted/cannibal yuji

all rights reserved to meeeee :3

#cw: gore #jjk fanfic #yuji itadori #fanfic writing #jujutsu itadori #sukuna #itadori x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna pov