noisymentalitypirate

[noisymentalitypirate]

I just vented to someone close to me. And even if they reacted well... Now i feel like shit and want to erase everything i said from their memory.

that's it, have a good day ( you probably won't but... yeah... anyway)

#$h tw #988blr #988twt #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #slef harm #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$hblr #$elf h4rm #$elf harm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #sh cvt

[noisymentalitypirate]

I never expected this feeling of pain when the person you love most in the world knows your problems, saw your scars, but just doesn't take them seriously and borders on making fun of you.

Like... ok. I just want to kms now.

Thanks.

#$h tw #988blr #988twt #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #slef harm #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$hblr #$elf h4rm #$elf harm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #sh cvt

[noisymentalitypirate]

-a thought i had while self harming

[noisymentalitypirate]

Wanting to recover is all fun until some people around you get invested in your recovery and you start to develop frustration and hatred towards them because they prevent you from self-destructing.

Obviously you don't tell them because it would destroy your relation, but you really want them to SHUT THE FUCK UP

#$h tw #988blr #988twt #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #slef harm #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$hblr #$elf h4rm #$elf harm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #sh cvt

[noisymentalitypirate]

As if it wasn't enough to hate myself already, I have to feel like everyone else hates me too.

It's too heavy to bear and it brings out a tearful anger in me: If you hate me say it, hit me, insult me ​​but do something because if you don't destroy me, i will.

#$h tw #988blr #988twt #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #slef harm #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$hblr #$elf h4rm #$elf harm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #sh cvt

[noisymentalitypirate]

Hurt me, please don't hold back i deserve it. Please make me feel something so that i don't have to think anymore, I don't want to, im too tired of this. So please, hurt me.

[noisymentalitypirate]

Who said i wasn't good at math? I'm literally the best at calculating when I can cut myself so i have time to heal before my boyfriend comes to see me

(it's tonight !!!!)

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #shslut #sh #sh things #sh tumblr

[noisymentalitypirate]

I'm just so stupid

#sewerslide #i want to cvt #tw depression #988blr #cvtaddict #sh #cvt #tw depressing stuff #mental illness #self h@rm #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #tw selfhate #self hatered

[noisymentalitypirate]

today has made me feel the most absurd mental exhaustion that i had in a while, I don't feel like there's much left worth staying for, but I also am just a pice of useless shit anyway. I just didn't wanted to disappoint you.

[noisymentalitypirate]

i'm like a rotten corpse hiding behind pretty clothes and pretty face, but if they saw my mutilated skin under my jeans, would these big pigs still want me ?

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #shslut #sh #sh things #sh tumblr

[noisymentalitypirate]

At the end of the day, it's still you alone with your blades while the people who hurt you so much live peacefully

And you're here, on this fucking app, trying to find comfort in people at least as destroyed as you are

how unfair is that ?

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #sh

[noisymentalitypirate]

I just really like coming here whenever i feel a little bit better in my body or in my life, just to trigger myself and cut again

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #sh

[noisymentalitypirate]

i'm just so tired of life, i don't even have the energy to cut

i'm just gonna sleep and hope i'll die during the night

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #sh

[noisymentalitypirate]

Pretend all day long that i'm alright because i don't want people to help me ( they are pretty bad at it) but also wanting the world to know that i'm slowly dying... is exhausting

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #sh

[noisymentalitypirate]

So, i was at that party, everything was great, i felt happy and i drank just enough to have the greatest idea of my life " omg what if i relaspe right now ?" and i did. I left the living room, went to the bathroom and sliced my thighs. It was the best feeling ever.

No one noticed, and i went back.

No one will ever know how i'm rotting inside

#i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts #cvtt!ng #shblrr #cvtting addict #i wanna cvt #styroblr #988blr #self h@rm #tw selfhate #self h@te #styrofoam #new cvt #self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destructive tendencies #self destructive thoughts #self destructor #sewerslide #mental illness #cvt #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #sh

[noisymentalitypirate]

Cutting, even if your day went quite right hits different

#sh #self harm #s3lf h4rm #self harn #mental illness #sewerslide #sewerslidal #cut #cuts #cutting #cvt #cvts #cvtting #tw depression #tw depressing stuff #i want to cvt #tw vent #988blr

[noisymentalitypirate]

I think i'm gonna do a big mess tonight

#sh #self harm #s3lf h4rm #self harn #mental illness #sewerslide #sewerslidal #cut #cuts #cutting #cvt #cvts #cvtting #tw depression #tw depressing stuff #i want to cvt #tw vent