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“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was.”

— Sade Andria Zabala

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“When you look at me, I feel like I’m the best thing in the world.”

—

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“Anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.”

— Winifred Gallagher

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His arms are strong. Strong enough to hold every single fear I have, hold me tight enough for me to forget all my worries.

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I have found something, someone, like a natural drug. Someone that calms my anxiety, my nerves and panic. It’s him, it’s his voice. I could listen to him talk forever.

#anxiety help #him

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And I understand.

I understand why people hold hands now, i always thought it was possessive, like saying “this is mine”, it still is in a way. But now it’s about maintaining contact, needing to touch them, be close , it’s about speaking without words, saying I want you, don’t let me go while still in complete silanece.

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i wish he could see how stupidly i smile when he texts me.

#boyfriend #so cute #text #cute smile

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He makes me forget, temporarily but still forget. He’s the first person I spoke to about it, he listens. His laugh makes me happier, listening to him talk calms me down, makes me feel okay. I don’t want to be alone anymore, he is my alone, he’s me.

#safe place #i love you

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Am I the only one who feels like I’m more and more rapidly separating myself from my parents? Like, I love them to pieces but they haven’t been the best parents in the past year or so, maybe longer. It’s getting harder and harder to be at home with them, because I never know which conversation will turn into a lecture about how my feelings don’t matter or how I’m too sensitive. They say they’re here to support me and that they wish I would come to them for help, but every time I open up to them I’m ganged up on and screamed at for messing up. I don’t know what to do. At this point the only things keeping me going are my friends and my girlfriend, and the thought of moving out after I graduate.

End of rant

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Empty

I’ve had a rough few weeks, I’ve been through it. Depression is hard it’s a struggle.  

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been listening to the same album on repeat for 2 weeks, or sitting in silence.

no in between

#depressing shit #anxeity #struggle

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I don’t think people realize how overthinking slowly kills you, they don’t know how it can turn your mind into thoughts you wish weren’t yours

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Depression: I want to die

Anxiety: but what if you do die

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Sometimes its just one of those highs where you're intensely, silently gazing at the wall which has fucking nothing on it and thinking. It's like I'm flipping through the pages of my entire life lmao.

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My anxiety made me overthink to the point that “oh. I don’t have anxiety. I might just be doing it for attention”

And I’m right here having an anxiety attack all alone in my room.

Where tf is this “attention” that you speak of??

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‪Lowkey want to get in a bad car accident/murdered so i don’t have to do it myself.‬