most-afa-lr-blog

[most-afa-lr-blog]

I dont know what im doing

I cried in front of one of my friends this week. We were talking about work and it got me to a point when I said something and then started crying. I didnt say it before cuz I didnt want and never would want anyone's sympathy. I wont ask for it and I wont beg but but its fucking nice to have someone you may not feel the same no one may feel the same im not the exact meaning of normal human actualy im pretty weird and I feel like I was raised like this. I was raied to feel bad about sharing my grief. Feel bad about showing feelings and feel and believe that sharing your feelings is a sign of weakness

I dont know what the fuck im supposed to even do about it

Life is hard and this is just making it harder. I just keep pretending to feel when I dont give two saperate shits and ignoring my feelings when I realy care and its destroyinge from inside. Im losing more and more by day

#help

[most-afa-lr-blog]

You have inspired so many of us. it’s sad to know your gone and left this world way to soon. You will be missed by everyone. RIP @linkinpark #chesterbennington #linkinpark #lefttosoon #RIP

[most-afa-lr-blog]

A Letter to Chester Bennington

I came into this world when Linkin Park didn’t yet exist. I experienced the first albums, the hype behind Nu Metal, my parents blasting Linkin Park in the car, singing along relating to every word. I went through some things you went through. I have felt what you’ve felt. Your death has filled me with a pain I can’t even describe. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be you. May your death be a reminder that mental illness is just as deadly as any other and that it should be taken seriously. You will be forever loved and missed from your family, your friends, and your fans. Rest in peace.

[most-afa-lr-blog]

people who are tired of living die What happens to people who are tired of dying?

Millino

#suicde #life sux #life #death #depressing quotes #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #writing

[most-afa-lr-blog]

I’m sorry that one word of a fool can turn the bridges of innocent trust you’ve built to black bones of all the feelings you had.

Millino

#trust #relationship #qoute #love quotes #sorry #i'm sorry

[most-afa-lr-blog]

The problem is not to be or not to be? That shit has a clear answer. It's not to be and the real problem is when exactly can I start my not being? Seriously... I mean ok... so you want to be. Right? What for? In hope of doing what? You have dreams? Ok. You can try to reach them. What are you going to do after achieving all your goals and dreams and shit? Huh? No... Seriously? You're going to start getting old after that? No you're not. You started that shit when you came to this world. Ok? Having dreams or shit is not a fucking reason to live. It's a tool to keep yourself alive. And don't you dare fucking tell me dreams are not to reach they are to have hope. Fuck you. You die having that hope whether you die now or even if you die when you're 99 years old. The difference is in the amount of pain you've experienced. Also there are A lot of reasons to keep living. Like people who you care about and don't want to leave them with sadness of losing you. Like things you want to accomplish before dying. But the problem is that these reasons are coming and going all the time. You have you're parents at some point. Then a girl or a boy or even both ( don't judge people 7-( ). Then kids... samething for goals. I mean there are people out there who believe in something called god. Believing ing god and after life gives them a reason to live. To try. To think of having a better life by doing good things. The question is if you don't believe in such a thing why the Fuck are you living right now? Do you have a fetish for painfully living your way toward a painful death that takes you from whatever the Fuck you became in your life to nothing? Do you wish for immortality? Well there's a way to make your wish come true you know? Being nothing on a philosophical point of view a little less or a little more equals to immortality. It doesn't age. You can't lose it. And It has one more quality to it that makes it much much better. You can't possibly get bored of being nothing. Because you are "nothing".

#suicde #life #afterlife #god #to be or not to be #writing #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #death

[most-afa-lr-blog]

You know how doctors recommend taking care of your health? To not look over things that might concern your health? I didn’t take care of my artblock and it turned to a lifeblock. I don’t seem to have the ability to live anymore. I want to stop breathing I forgot how to eat today And I don’t seem to remember how to make friends with people And that’s all there is to living? So if I can’t see myself doing these kind of stuff I should start planning my suicide right? Like when it doesn’t matter what I eat who I talk to or whether I’m breathing or not why would I force myself to live? What would give me the strength to keep on wasting energy on getting worth while I can end it now? Like is there any fool out there who thinks it’s going to get better? Well…. wrooooooooong!!! It’s not. You’ll have a peak if you ever have one and then it’s a big fucking downfall till you die. And you’re not going to die healthy, you know? You’re going to die horribly so why not having your own choice of how you die? Huh? You can do it? Can’t you?

#art block #suicde #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #writing

[most-afa-lr-blog]

[most-afa-lr-blog]

“Sad people love the rain - so then they’re not the only ones crying anymore.”

[most-afa-lr-blog]

You are so obsessed with finding someone to love you because you can’t love yourself…

(via storyofmylife916)

[most-afa-lr-blog]

The ones that are the problem are always the ones that say “you have a problem.”

[most-afa-lr-blog]

I'm at this point of my life...

#life suuuuucks #life sux #spotify #music #sad

[most-afa-lr-blog]

“No one cares. It’s all just pretend.”

(via better-off-deadx)

[most-afa-lr-blog]

Care for yourself if you want to help others

Two people leave the sinking ship late. First the one who believes in his swimming abilities so much that he tends to save other people or he has less fear of water and the second one is the one who doesn't trust his ability to swim. Both stupid and both will probably die. Drown to hell. When something bad is happening the only thing that you should think is how you can get the fuck out of the situation without any harm or maybe with some benefits. As if you die the one you stupidly tried to save will die too your main and only purpose is to save yourself. Even if that means you're not going to save anyone. Specially when the shit (the person your trying to save (which you shouldn't be)) is a second type.

#saveyourselves #writing #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mystupidandsadthoughts

[most-afa-lr-blog]

I don’t think of suicide as a way to runaway. I think of it as a way to evolve. As a way to go to a better place. Even if that place is a lie. Even if death means nothing but being erased from existence. Isn’t nothing and nowhere far better than being among humans? I admire people who choose being dead instead of a continuing the path of a living bag of flesh and blood , piss and feces and bones and maybe soul. even if there’s a being inside humans to call soul what better than releasing it from the filthy cage it’s inside. I respect the people who kill theirselves cuz they endure the shitty life they have to the point it makes them defy their own lifeloving human nature and take their own lives. I respect them because they have the guts to make their loved ones suffer the lose. They have the guts to be selfish. They have the guts to choose to defy bounds made by society and let people down on purpose. When a ship is sinking in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with no hope for passengers to swim or save or being saved the heroes aren’t the people who go down with the ship. They are the ones who throw theirselves to the water. The ones that choose to tell the situation to “go fuck yourself”. Now think of the world we know as the sinking ship and the Death as the sea. Wouldn’t it be brave to give up yourself to the hands of the sea.

#suicide #writing #spilled ink #mystupidandsadthoughts #suicde

[most-afa-lr-blog]

I may seem like I'm crazy but I'm not🙁

I'm not crazy as a crazy person hurts himself or others without knowing that his hurting someone or feeling guilty because of that but I hurt both myself and others knowing what I'm doing and doing it on purpose. I don't do it for pleasure or anything. There's no pleasure in sadness or loneliness. I hurt myself cuz I hate myself and I hurt others cuz I love human beings and I don't want them to get close enough to just get hurt by me and make me hate myself even more. For a crazy person there is no guilt. They just don't feel guilty whaterver the fuck they do they just don't have it in them to feel guilty. They maybe don't have any feelings at all but the feel of needing to do something and the forgettable momentary happiness that comes by after it's done. But for people like me we just have to feel guilty for everything even being alive itself. We kinda run by guilt we get from being alive. Not that we like it. We utterly hate it but we somehow need it. Which as we are human beings and like every other human being have parts in our brains that forbid us from hurting ourselves brings more guilt on the table.

#crazy #hurtmyself #guilt #writing #spilled ink #mysadandstupidthoughts

[most-afa-lr-blog]

“The point is to enjoy the song, and see how it ends. If you end it early, you might miss the best part!”

- (onitsuka-tiger6288)

That's when you don't know where the good part is. If you know do yourself a favor and skip.