meow222sposts

[meow222sposts]

Bpd culture is your favorite person promising to set healthy boundaries and communicate with you, then enabling your behaviors and blaming you for it

.

[meow222sposts]

i wanna push everyone away from me so i can kill myself alone without anyone noticing

[meow222sposts]

u wanted what i had so badly.

my healing.

my growth.

my self awareness.

my emotional vulnerability.

my communication.

my boundaries.

all of it.

to the point where u tried taking it from me.

tried making me teach u these things.

im not your fucking therapist.

i was your partner.

thats not fair.

u were supposed to focus on yourself.

while i focused on myself.

u just wanted to take it.

i didnt deserve that.

i just wanted a loving, safe, partner.

#i am unwell #boundaries #mentally tired

[meow222sposts]

u watched me cry

as i told u how uncomfortable i was

with u crossing my boundaries constantly.

u just stared at me blankly.

no emotion.

nothing.

then made excuses.

no accountability.

told me everything i was doing wrong instead.

this shit hurts man.

#i will never emotionally recover from this

[meow222sposts]

just close enough

to be too close

to maintain plausible deniability

just close enough

maybe it was a misunderstanding

maybe he thought they wanted it

or maybe it wasnt like that

just close enough

that they froze and couldnt breathe

couldnt think

and after so many years

still thinks about it

to gaslight themselves for years

#sa survivor

[meow222sposts]

the worst part about anything that's self destructive,

is that its so intimate.

you become so close with your addictions and illnesses,

that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.

#bpd #self destruction #i am my own worst enemy #fuck

[meow222sposts]

Old bridge

[meow222sposts]

U ever get turned on just from someone’s personality

[meow222sposts]

you traumatized me for a lifetime, but it was just another sunday afternoon for you.

[meow222sposts]

"Come home to me" kind of love

[meow222sposts]

all i really want

is to run my fingers

through your hair

kiss the parts of you

that you never show the world

and show you

parts of me

that you deserve

the thought

of that kind of vulnerability

has always been hard for me

but those big

beautiful blue and greenish eyes

just like parts of the seas

have me in a chokehold

so deep

i drown in them

[meow222sposts]

i dont want my life to end.

i want my disorder to end,

but it never will.

#bpd

[meow222sposts]

A foggy yard

[meow222sposts]

i want to scream.

i want to pull my hair out.

i want it to stop.

[meow222sposts]

thank you for showing me patience

for meeting my insecurities with kindness

for looking into my tired eyes

and offering me a place to rest

thank you for keeping me warm

and holding me when things get too heavy

thank you for supporting me

and hearing me

and seeing me

thank you for loving me

and teaching me how to love me too.

[meow222sposts]

i used to do this as a child and i thought it was normal..

I have a distinct memory of laying in my bed as a kid and wishing with all my heart that I would get hurt. That I would get into a bad car crash or I'd disappear. So my parents would cry and realize they didn't cherish me enough.

I find it sad that younger me thought she had to get hurt to feel loved.

[meow222sposts]

I hate the question where do you see yourself in 5 years like bro fucking dead next question thanks