melancholiepeufiable
“only good things”
ao3 // sebchal propagandist // 18+ // main blog
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hello!
i know it's been some time since the final renaissance update, but it impacted me a lot and i needed to collect my thoughts,, so, sorry if this is a very late contribution to the debate. also obligatory warning that i am not a native speaker so my explanations might be a little wonky at times hahshd
to say it plainly: i sobbed, i laughed, i trembled and i melted with this fic. it had the perfect dose of everything; of pain, doubts, things being broken and then fixed with enough love and understanding that it reeked through the screen into my feelings as well. and you got my heart racing with every update!! my week revolved around your scheduled updates, however crazy that sounds.
like you said, it was cathartic. and painful. god, my heart ached so much every single time charles doubted himself and seb's view on him, and it ached when he longed for something as human as love with such resentment towards himself. but in the end, your brilliant writing soothed me like - pardon my perhaps nonsensical comparisons - those rays of sunlight in winter, when you've been freezing outside and they hit the skin of your hands and for a moment you think, wow, there is something more to this than just suffering. your writing style evoked such vivid emotions in me i thought i might be one with charles, lol. i love it, love it, love it.
you helped me realise a lot about myself in the process of reading too - and again, i am sorry for this little oversharing, but you also helped me realise that just like charles found out in the end, getting help might be worth it, and i will be getting it. it probably seems insincere,, but yeah. i am being genuine. your take on daddy issues hurt in a way where you realise that, damn, this is too realistic and hits too close to home, unlike those glorified scenarios on certain social media. bravo.
while i'm here, i would also like to mention that i read your other works, rouge et blanc and act of god. the latter in particular made it hard to breathe at times - not in the anxiety way, but in the in-awe-thanks-to-the-genius-storytelling way. you have this skill of uniting the reader and the main character to the point where they think alike, and it was only in the end when i noticed the escalation of the obsessive elements, that's how immersed i was in seb's unreliable narration. bravo again. (also, the religious imagery? chef's fucking kiss good LORD)
i don't want to go into detail over specific scenes in renaissance because this would be even longer than it is, so i'm just gonna wrap it up by saying: please, if you can, keep creating!! i don't mean it as putting pressure on you, the thing i want to say is that your art is absolutely brilliant and loved, if you ever doubt it. thank you for creating this fic and i am soo looking forward to anything you create in the future!!
-diem
hi anon ❤️
dw about it being late! my own reply is late as well haha, sorry (also dw about the english, you’re perfectly fine).
aw shucks, thank you so much. it’s always so lovely to see how much a work can reach someone, and to hear how it is has affected you is simultaneously joyous and tear-jerking (sorry about the pain it caused).
ahhh i love love LOVE that comparison to the sunlight during winter. might be one of my favourite compliments ever! it’s always sooooo pleasing for a writer to know that the reader is experiencing things almost as if they were the character themselves. thank you!
getting help is absolutely nothing to be shameful of, and i’m so proud of you going to get it. i wish you the best ❤️ (thank you again! i didn’t want the father complex to be dramatised bc in reality, it’s a lot different than what’s shown on tv).
ahhh and you read the others??? thank you omg! haha, thank you for liking act of god sm, i’m so happy that the general consensus has been positive. i was so nervous to post it, but i’m glad the religious imagery and seb’s unreliability managed to get through to the reader.
yes!! i will keep creating as soon as i get out of the writer’s block. i’m so grateful for your message and the support. have a great day! all the love <3
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For the end of year fic asks - 1 & 24
hello anon 🫶 i hope you’re doing well
act of god was by far my fav fic to write this year, although renaissance was a close second haha. i think if the editing process wasn’t so miserable, renaissance could’ve got top spot
24. ooo, good question.
i read quite a few fics at the beginning of the year. while a whole lot of them were good, i think a few sebchal fics that are severely under-rated and deserve more hype are:
evergreen by @piastriachios (explicit) - literally one of the best fics i have ever read. it was so heart-wrenching, yet simultaneously comforting. there are some tws for this fic listed in its end notes, so pls be careful!
a penny for your thoughts, a dollar for your insights by anon (explicit) - such a good fic!! i don’t have the words. i literally come back to this fic often just to reread charles’ thoughts and how seb copes with everything.
penny for your thoughts by @12romy (mature) - a comfort fic in a way. i adore the humour. reading seb’s thoughts is honestly sooooo- i love him. and charles dealing with it all ahhhhh, i need to reread.
*if any author wants their fic removed, just lemme know and i’ll do it asap <3
thank youuuuu!!!
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for the end of year ask post!!! <3
13: favorite writing song/artist/album of this year
hi anon <333 i hope you’re doing well. sorry this took forever to answer lol.
i listened to a lot of charles this year, but also a lot of the neighbourhood, esp when writing renaissance. they both had a certain melancholy that matched the vibe i was going for.
thank you for asking ❤️
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from the lovely @miss-malheur (sorry this took forever <3):
3. “I live for you, I pray to you. You will never find anyone who loves you more than I do. We could’ve been happy together if you just– I’m sorry, I’m not being very nice at the moment.” Charles dried his hands, turning around. His eyes were blank, yet pleading, so different from how Seb ever saw them. “I know I’m fucked up. This is not normal. I-I’m a bad person, I cannot fix it.”
not a line lol, but my fav paragraph from act of god.
13. icl, mon23 by charles was a banger, esp with editing renaissance
23. i wanted to write the first fic i ever outlined, this year. it’s a post-retirement charles fic that strangely coincided with some events that happened fr with seb lol. i hope i’ll write it by next year!!
thank youuuuu <333333 hopefully i post crumbs for that fic, but we’ll see hehe
fanfic end of the year asks
since it’s december, i thought i’d make a little end of the year ask meme for fanfic writers and readers! reblog and ask away
favorite fic you wrote this year
least favorite fic you wrote this year
favorite line/scene you wrote this year
total number of words you wrote this year
most popular fic this year
least popular fic this year
longest completed fic you wrote this year
shortest completed fic you wrote this year
longest wip of the year
shortest wip of the year
fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year
favorite character to write about this year
favorite writing song/artist/album of this year
a fic you didn’t expect to write
something you learned this year
fic(s) you completed this year
fics you’ll continue next year
current number of wips
any new fics to start next year
number of comments you haven’t read
most memorable comment/review
events you participated in this year
fics you wanted to write but didn’t
favorite fic you read this year
a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read
number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year
favorite fanfic author of the year
longest fic you read this year
shortest fic you read this year
favorite fandom to read fic from this year
*feel free to specify fandoms or a fic depending on the question.
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y’all, actually does anyone have any tips for writer’s block 😭
other than the loml (@chewislawyer) never giving up (i love her sm ❤️), idk how to pull myself out
#help pls im desperate here#my fics are rottttinggggg#f1 fanfic#writer's block#ao3#fic writing#fanfics#ao3 writer
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writer’s block is beating tf outta my ass rn. sorry for all the delays in the inbox. i’ll get to ‘em now <3
#remember when i said sebchal got me out of writer’s block?#yeah those were the good ol days#i’ll have to get out of this somehow
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fanfic end of the year asks
since it’s december, i thought i’d make a little end of the year ask meme for fanfic writers and readers! reblog and ask away
favorite fic you wrote this year
least favorite fic you wrote this year
favorite line/scene you wrote this year
total number of words you wrote this year
most popular fic this year
least popular fic this year
longest completed fic you wrote this year
shortest completed fic you wrote this year
longest wip of the year
shortest wip of the year
fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year
favorite character to write about this year
favorite writing song/artist/album of this year
a fic you didn’t expect to write
something you learned this year
fic(s) you completed this year
fics you’ll continue next year
current number of wips
any new fics to start next year
number of comments you haven’t read
most memorable comment/review
events you participated in this year
fics you wanted to write but didn’t
favorite fic you read this year
a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read
number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year
favorite fanfic author of the year
longest fic you read this year
shortest fic you read this year
favorite fandom to read fic from this year
*feel free to specify fandoms or a fic depending on the question.
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renaissance
Chapter 16/16 - completed
It was nice to stay in touch with friends that continued to tour with the travelling circus. The ability to play between races, keep the effortless banter and discuss competition – Charles didn’t feel jealous of them. His only requirement was that the less red he saw, the better his mood was.
*must have an ao3 account to read
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thank you so much for making it to the end! this is the final update for “renaissance” and it’s been a doozy. thank you for the support thus far!
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renaissance
Chapter 15/16
“You can’t guilt me into doing this for you.” Charles snapped.
“I’m not asking you to do anything.”
*must have an ao3 account to read
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friday means update. i hope you all had a lovely week!
reference photo below the cut:
the tan and cream flannel charles wears. there’s something about it that’s so comforting to me.
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Your Renaissance fic broke me, I am but a shell of a person.
What is left of my cold little heart is writing this ask just to say HOW AMAZING it all is and how I can´t wait for the next chapter.
hello my dear anon <3
i’m sorry that renaissance has left you hollowed out and empty, but i’m pleased it has had some emotional impact on you (call me cruel, but it’s a compliment haha).
thank you so much for your words, they mean the world to me. i hope you enjoy the last two chapters ❤️
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renaissance
Chapter 14/16
He could’ve become anyone, anything, yet he was not and he couldn’t figure out what Sebastian wanted without knowing fully what he was ready to give. The signals were all mixed, and though he was fluent in some, he didn’t know others.
*must have an ao3 account to read
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hello hello, lovely people. it’s friday, time for an update! we’re closing in to the end now.
reference photo below the cut:
Monza 2019 hoodie mentioned (if you haven’t seen it before):
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i dont know if youve seen the recent interview that nico did with skysports but it reminded me of the scene in renaissance where charles and nico talk infront of the painting
hi anon <3
i’ve watched some of it, yes. while ‘renaissance’ is indeed all fiction, it’s hard to deny that there is some overlap in the actual careers of nico and charles, no matter how small that may be.
thank you so much for thinking of my fic!! it means the world to me ❤️
#i am a nico apologist#and what about it#nico my beloved#‘did he pull a nico there'#oh he’s so dear to me#charles leclerc#nico rosberg#my inbox#renaissance fic
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renaissance
Chapter 13/16
“It shouldn’t feel too long, not with all the things you do.” He said, football playing soundlessly on screen.
Charles tucked his feet under Seb’s thigh, watching half the field chase after a ball.
“You’ll forget I was ever gone.”
*must have an ao3 account to read
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friday is update day! i hope you’re all having a wonderful day.
reference photo below the cut:
the shirt charles pulls from seb’s closet :)
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36, Sebchal with some hurt comfort/fluff
hi anon <3 ty for the request
this took wayyy longer than i hoped it would lol. i’m not sure how i feel about it, but i had a vision. i hope you like it 🫶
36. “Come with me. Please?”
******
Sebastian rubbed his hands together, pulling the door open. A bell chimed above, the murmur of conversing customers and smell of roasted coffee instantly surrounding him. He smiled and approached the counter, shaking the snow off his shoulders.
While he had chosen solitude, people were often nice company… he tried not to think about that too much. In any case, his visits to a café not far from his house were timely. Initially, they were once a month, then biweekly, slowly creeping into a weekly routine. The baristas were kind enough to not remember who he was, asking for his name and order each time without a smile on their face. Maybe that was why he kept returning, maybe he longed for that sense of normalcy.
He accepted the warm cup, spinning around, ready to settle in the small corner between two windows. A spot isolated enough that he could be left alone to people-watch (and eavesdrop, though he’d never admit to it).
Only this time, it was already occupied by a man with messy hair and a thick black jacket. The man held a paper cup in his hand, staring blankly at a spot on the floor.
A red beanie laid on the wooden table.
Seb walked over, catching bits and pieces of conversations he wasn’t a part of. He slid into the seat opposite, displeased when the man kept staring blankly, uncaring to the stranger that invaded his space.
“Charles, you need to start paying better attention. I could’ve been a pickpocket.”
“Yes, I know.” He blinked, raising dull green eyes to meet Seb’s. The edges crinkled slightly. “Hello again, Sebastian.”
“Hello again, Charles.”
Charles smiled, his dimples barely poking out. He looked… defeated. His shoulders were slumped, dark circles more prominent than Seb last remembered, and there was a gravelly undertone when he spoke, like the words needed to be scratched to freedom.
Nevertheless, Seb felt himself start to claw in and hold on to whatever time they had left. “How have you been?”
Charles shrugged.
“What are you doing here?”
“Skiing.”
“There’s a storm coming.”
“Andrea said it’d be good.”
“He’s here with you?”
Charles shook his head, then huffed a laugh as he set his cup down. For a moment, he looked lighter, more like the enthusiastic boy Seb first met. “Joris thinks I need a retreat.”
“Why here?”
He shrugged again.
This was a dry conversation – one-sided in a way he dreaded, yet Seb still clung on. It was the longest he’d spoken to someone this month.
“Well, what a coincidence finding you here, huh?”
Charles said nothing, looking back at that spot on the floor. He lifted the cup to his lips and swallowed.
“Charles?”
“Yes. Pure coincidence.”
He sighed. It was odd being brushed off by someone Seb knew adored him once. Distance was supposed to make the heart grow fonder, but all it seemed to do was make the ache stronger. Or at least, Seb’s ache. Maybe it was unrequited after all – a reasonable explanation for the tension budding at the table – and Charles could sense it. The boy always knew more than he let on. Besides, plenty of time had passed, if anything, simply by being here Seb was pouring salt on healing wounds.
“Right.” Seb picked up his cup, going to stand. The chair scraped against hardwood. “It was good to see you again. You don’t need luck, but I’ll be watching you on–”
Charles grabbed his free wrist, pulling him back down. “I knew you’d be here, Seb.”
“Oh.”
“It is why I came.”
Seb blinked, settling into the seat once more. He placed the cup down.
Charles’ brows pinched upward, a certain desperation morphing his face into one Seb knew all too well. “Everything is wrong. It– you…” He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “It has been horrible since you left.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. I was–I was winning. I had second-place. Why did you have to go?”
He picked at the lid of his cup. “It was time.”
“No, it wasn’t. I don’t– what do I do? Seb, please. Tell me I’m not making a mistake.” Charles shook his head. “I can’t accept that this is all I will be. I want to win, I want to be like… like you and Lewis and Michael and–and I do not want to do any of this alone.”
“You are a winner.”
“I want to be a champion.”
Seb grimaced. “On the bright side, you’ve already–”
“There is no bright side, Sebastian.” He replied sternly. The sharp set of his brow made the hollow of his cheeks more prominent. “I am the champion of losers and I am sick of it.”
“Leave them. Leave Ferrari then.”
He shook his head.
“Take a sabbatical.”
He shook his head again. “No, no.”
“What do you want?”
The twist of his lips, the reddening of his ears, the fidgeting of his hands – they all pointed to a boy struggling against impulse. Charles blurted. “Follow me next time.”
“No.”
“Come with me.” He said earnestly, eyes round. “Please.”
Seb sighed and leaned forward. “Where?”
“I don’t know.”
Maybe they were two lonely people, two miserable men in their own comforting bubble. Happiness might not have been on their plate, and contentment might’ve been fresh sold out on the menu, but they could always try to make their own. They had two sets of able hands and two brains that were as analytical as the other. It was possible.
Seb reached out and took Charles’ hand, smoothing his thumb over roughened and chilled skin. “Are you okay?”
He gave a half-shrug, lifting a shoulder sluggishly.
“Are you here alone?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you staying?”
“A hotel.”
It would be a mistake to give in so easily. Thinking of Charles was dangerous. He invaded a countless number of Seb’s nights and caused many sleepless hours, sometimes extending into the early morning when the sun would seep into the room.
Each night was worth it.
“Stay with me.”
Charles opened and closed his mouth soundlessly. The trust was not broken, but Ferrari was a double-edged sword sometimes. A driver would learn the good and the bad at the expense of knowing who was reliable. Seb knew this.
“A storm is coming. Spend it with me. I can show you my garden. It’s a bit wilted now, but that’s okay. We can have hot chocolate and watch the snow or a movie. I have a dog, Bruno, you’ll like him.” Seb smiled. “I’d rather have you there than not. We don’t have to spend this storm apart.”
Charles looked at him, a light stain of pink high on his cheeks. “I would not like to be left in the hands of strangers if anything goes wrong.”
“I’m not a stranger. So, what do you say?”
He smiled widely, eyes brightening and dimples deepening. “Yes. I’d like that.”
#sebchal#/my writing = mine#/a bit of fiction#/fic crumbs#f1 fanfic#f1 rpf#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#f1 fiction#not quite fluff#not quite angst#but a mysterious third thing#my inbox
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ship ask game 😁1 Who would be first to to bite down anc consume the flesh of the other, euphoric in the taste and the heft and the slide of the blood 2. who is the ant and who is the ophiocordyceps fungus? 3. who is the dog and who is the master? 4 when the roles are blurred or reversed who would be first to die and how? would it be by bulletwound? the phallic blade? strangulation? 5. Cocaine or Heroin? 6. who licks up the other’s cigarette ash? 7 who is julius caesar and who is brutus? 8. who is jesus and who is judas? 9. did jesus want it? did julius caesar know it was coming? are the betrayed ever proud? 10. who is irrumatus and who is irrumans? who is pedicatus and who is pedicans? 11. did they ever kiss and why not? 12 if they are two sides of the same coin who is heads and who is tails? 13. and if the coin was the holey dollar? 14. And if the dog bit back? 15 and if the dog bit back? 16 and if the dog bit back? 17 and if the dog bit back? 18 and if the dog bit back? 19 and if the dog bit back? 20. Who buys the other flowers?🥰
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renaissance
Chapter 12/16
Charles’ lip quirked as he opened the door. “Took you long enough.”
“Not all of us wake up looking like a billion bucks, Charlie.”
*must have an ao3 account to read
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thank you for reading!
reference photo for the painting charles admires in this chapter, below the cut:
Self-Portrait with Death Playing the Fiddle. 1872, Arnold Böcklin.
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renaissance
Chapter 11/16
“Have you been talking to him?” Pierre asked softly, a certain gentleness bringing Charles back to his youth, where he chased after two boys older than him, striving to be just as skilled. “Not in passing, but talking.”
*must have an ao3 account to read
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friday! time for an update. charles makes a big move here.
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