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Lily Olsen by Ben Kulo

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Erika Linder photographed by Collier Schorr. Styled by Claire Richardson. Hair and makeup by Holli Smith for Holiday Magazine F/W 2014

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/Rant

I've been depressed and suicidal for over 6 years. Never seeked or asked for help because it has always been something I'm ashamed of. It has always made me feel like shit to say that I had "these types of problems". Recently, I went to the hospital to ask for help for the first time ever. Every body that I know that knew about it encouraged me a lot, telling me that everything would be fine and that they would take care of me. I was greatly disappointed because no, they did not take care of me and did not take me seriously. Like in all seriousness, what the fuck? When a suicidal person finally asks for help, you don't tell them that there isn't any emergency, and that everything will be fine, and that they can't do anything about it!? Like wHat. ThE. FUcK. And they asked me what I thought they could do to help me? like WHAT!? you seriously think that I know? For all I care I want to die every day and its the only thing I think about, so I really do not think I'm the best person to have the answer to that question. I'm infuriated. And it does not encourage me to ask for further help. I Just want to go man. I'm 18 and I'm already exhausted. Gosh.

#personal #me #trigger #suicide #depression #ranting

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Surprise, surprise! I know I said the project was on hold, but I've been struck by motivation to draw multiple things last week. So I thought I could slip in a part of TCP!

Enjoy! :D

#art #drawing #pencil art #poem #writing #childhood #project #blog

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