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A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
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THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
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I wasn’t even angry any more; I just didn’t understand anything.
Simone de Beauvoir, from The Mandarins (via violentwavesofemotion)
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I daydreamed about being somewhere else, about being someone else.
Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club (via wordsnquotes)
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You know how when you’re in a car and it’s pouring down rain, you go under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it’s almost peaceful. Then you finally get from under the bridge, and everything hits you a litter harder than before. You were my bridge.
Anonymous (via lavenderrd)
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If they ask you about me, tell them “She was the only girl who loved me with honesty, and I broke her.”
Shahrazad al-Khalij (via suspend)
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rock bottom feels like my bedroom floor at 3 am but on mornings when sunlight breathes on our pale skin, hardwood feels more like arched backs and soft blue light bleeding on to your sad hands that trace my goosebumps in all the right places i want you to see me with my clothes off but you want to see me naked and on nights that we come home a little bit drunk off of cheap wine you rip my little black dress off and we violently brush each other’s skin with mindless hands, my hair between your bony fingers, my hipbones touching your body but we’re not close enough, we wake up with pretty bruises that you kiss good morning i won’t tell you i love you until you leave me, you’ll have one foot out the door and i’ll be crying on the linoleum tile, suddenly love is a wound i’m begging you to lick, but you choke on the irony and i push you away wondering if you’ll pull me closer we’re a garden of long gazes between sheets and hair tucked away in careless strands, it feels like winter again, buried in the palm of your hands, but i slip through with the tears that you don’t catch you feel my skin like it’s a map before you feel my heart beating, falling in love feels like falling apart and we’re the quiet calm before the thunder, we’re drops of warm rain hitting puddles, you look at me instead of the road and suddenly we’re not driving anymore drunken lips and hazy memories, undoing my composure all over the bathroom sink, i come home and sit in front of the mirror, brushing golden knots out of my hair, smelling like cigarettes and your cologne, for hours i see nothing but your shadow in the darkness you loved sunsets so i painted them on my eyelids so that you would never stop looking at me but i think you grew tired of watching me blink even though our days fading into one another never got old to your ocean eyes you tied my heart up on a string but i keep the scissors next to my bed, i don’t know whether to call it love or lust or something in between, we were more than midnight voicemails wrapped around my neck like purple snakes you told me i was your mess but i was the poison you got drunk off of and baby we were a snowstorm in the middle of July
i wanted to be the brick and not the window pane but it hurts just as much  (via lunarless)
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“I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.
Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber (via booksqouted)
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The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world, or under it.
Beau Taplin || the hours between.   (via exoticwild)
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I never want to love someone like that, so much that there would be no room left for myself, so much that I wouldn’t be able to survive if he left me.
Girl in Translation (Jean Kwok)
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Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh
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I try more and more to be myself, caring relatively little whether people approve or disapprove of it.
Letter from Vincent Van Gogh to Theo Van Gogh Nuenen, c. 13-17 April 1885 (via gogh-gurl)
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Mysterious Coin-Covered Wishing Trees
The strange phenomenon of gnarled old trees with coins embedded all over their bark has been spotted from the Peak District to the Scottish Highlands in the United Kingdom. One of the larger collections can be seen in the picturesque village of Portmeirion in Wales where there are seven felled tree trunks with coins pushed into them.
The coins are usually knocked into the tree trunks using stones by passers-by, who hope it will bring them good fortune. These fascinating spectacles often have coins from centuries ago buried deep in their bark, warped from the passage of time.
The tradition of making offerings to deities at wishing trees dates back hundreds of years and is similar to the concept of a “wishing well”, where one tosses a coin in for good luck. The “wishing trees” date back to the early 1700s in Scotland where ill people stuck florins into trees with the idea that the trees would take any any illness. However if someone were to take away any of the coins, legend states that they will become ill instead.
sources 1, 2, 3
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