leoamadeus

[leoamadeus]

i have a website now at LeoAmadeus.com

and an ACTUAL BLOG. you'll never believe it...an ACTUAL BLOG. updated once a week.

it includes such published works as "is this thing on?" and "no, I'm not an earwig"

[leoamadeus]

hi!!! do you like grapes? 🍇

yes but I like the red/purple ones more than green ones for some reason

[leoamadeus]

[leoamadeus]

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

[leoamadeus]

wish i could go missing for a little bit and no one would freak out and then i could come back and they'd be like "did you have fun going missing" and i'd be like "yeah, thanks" and then i could do that every couple of months or so and it wouldn't be a big deal

[leoamadeus]

whenever my iced coffee starts to sweat it's like -_- what r u so stressed over . your'e cofe

[leoamadeus]

thank god for trans people

[leoamadeus]

I just ate ice-cream

I'm lactose intolerant

Expecting the shits

#haiku #lactose intolerant #lactose intolerance #i think all my haikus will include bodily functions #unless they don't

[leoamadeus]

[leoamadeus]

so at the shops outside my work, there's street art on the ground (mosaics?) and there was a kid sitting down on an avocado artwork.

and the kid's mum said 'alright honey it's time to go' and the kid said 'nooooo, I don't want to; i'm sitting on the avocado' and never have I had so much respect for a sentence

#mosaics #street art #avocado #funny things children say

[leoamadeus]

if i had a dollar for each time i was on a film set and an actor had to eat SO MUCH FOOD. LIKE EATING SO SO MUCH FOOD WITH EXTREME CLOSE UPS ON THE MOUTH i would have two dollars. which is not a lot but it's weird it happened twice

#phineas and ferb #(i've never seen phineas and ferb) #i said dollar because there are no nickels in australia #filming #films #actor #crew member #on set

[leoamadeus]

i've been taking driving lessons for the first time and let me tell you nothing is more stressful than my mother yelling "BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE" when my other driving instructor who is licensed said I should try driving a little faster

#driving #driving lessons #stress #parents

[leoamadeus]

if i had my way everyone would laugh at my jokes

[leoamadeus]

i love my besties

they make me feel nice and warm

oh. I've pissed my pants

#haiku #best friends #love

[leoamadeus]

“Why is the best autistic representation accidental?” Because then the media is actually focused on portraying them as a human rather than a diagnosis

[leoamadeus]

⚠️❗️VERY IMPORTANT POST, PLEASE READ!❗️⚠️

everyone. on christmas day, december 25th, we all search up “halloween” to make it a trending search. it would be the FUNNIEST thing ever to see halloween be a trending search on christmas day. tell all your friends, repost this, do everything you can to make sure we can do this. REBLOG AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

[leoamadeus]

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!