kristowldeer

[kristowldeer]

Was thinking about how Jack might react to some other magic items from Shrek

Happy ending :)

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Part 6

Yeah so here we are, PART SIX YOU KNOW. Our fandom is slowly dying and I’m sad about it. Actually I’m more sad that I didn’t watch PIB2 earlier when it was thriving all over the internet. ALSO I’m sad that my fav fanfic about Jack (Envy can be purple too- go read it) is frozen (?). But yeah, let us begin! There will be smut in the next chapter 😈

It was already quite late when they’ve arrived to the Horners mansion. Out of curiosity (Y/N) picked outside the window of the stoped carriage to look at the slowly opening gates. Towering stone walls were slightly shimmering in the lights of street lamps and were guarding the house from the outer world.

– It looks intimidating, – (Y/N) spoke quietly.

– Yeah, it’s intentional. What else did you expect?

– I don’t know, some florals and pastels, why?

Jack snorted but couldn’t stop his lips corners from forming a little smile.

Enormous and heavy gates were finally opened for the owner to ride in, and so they moved once more. They’ve stoped in the front yard of a big aristocratic estate. Jack was the first one to step outside the carriage that was slightly shifting under his impressive weight and offered (Y/N) his hand.

– Wow, – she looked around, – That’s impressive, mr Horner.

The three store building was truly luxurious. Its core was rusticated with almost black stone, whilst the upper floors were more smooth and slightly brownish. Counting the number of windows one could easily understand that the quantity of rooms in this building was truly impressive, and that was the main goal of the architect – to impress. Big dark columns near the main entrance were decorated with curved out tops in a leaves like pattern with some plums in them.

The garden was mainly consisting of neatly cut bushes and flower beds of different colours, mostly purple, of course. (Y/N) lingered to touch a delphinium blossom.

– Do you like it? – Jack’s face was brightened with a prideful smug.

– Of course, you have a magical taste in things, – with a hand gesture it was easy to understand that (Y/N) implied on herself.

This time her joke made Jack not just snort, but chuckle.

– I see you’re in a great mood today, – he looked her right in the eye, never letting go of her hand.

– Someone worked for it to happen.

Jack squeezed her hand tighter and bent to be closer to her ear, even though it would take him to squat for that to happen properly:

– If you won’t stop teasing I will take you right here.

– Fine, fine. You’re no fun, mr Horner.

– Me? Just wait till we’re inside.

– Inside of the house or…?

– I said stop it, – Jack stepped towards the already opened by servants doors of the mansion and almost dragged (Y/N) along.

Few maids and other servants including a butler were already standing in the hall to greet their master. Their eyes were eying (Y/N) with extreme caution because never before they’ve seen Jack Horner holding hands with a woman.

– Good evening, mr Horner, – the butler spoken, – The dinner is ready, should we, hum, – he quickly looked at you in somewhat disbelief, – prepare a table for two?

– Of course for two, what are you all, blind? This is miss (Y/N), and from now on she lives here, – he said it like nothing special happened, making one of the maids slightly gasp.

This one maid was practically staring daggers at (Y/N) since the beginning, making her slightly uncomfortable.

– So, why are you standing here like some idiots? You don’t have any work to do? Go!

And with those words the servants scattered. Jack laid a hand on the small of (Y/N) back to slowly push her to the grand staircase in the centre.

– So, miss (Y/N), how do you like the interior design?

– I didn’t had time to look at it properly as you know, but I’ve already noticed that you indeed like purples.

– Do you know any colour that is better?

– Probably not, – she chuckled.

– Anyway you’ll have plenty of time to look into it, I mean the interior, but now I want to show you the two most important rooms.

– Which are?

– Yours and mine of course, you silly girl.

Walking through the dark corridor enlightened by the candle light of the beautifully carved lamps (Y/N) looked at different paintings on the walls.

– If you want it I can buy you some paintings or order you a great portrait to hang it somewhere near your room, – with his nonchalant gesture of the hand it was clear that Jack liked to brag about his reaches a lot, like it was not a big deal at all.

– Thank you, mr Horner, I’ll think about your generous offer.

– Ah, here we are, – he pushed the door open.

A big room was made in dark pink and plum colours, leaving only the walls to be somewhat neutral – greyish white with merely visible flower patterns. There were a lot of florals in the decor too, like carvings and painting on the furniture, draping on the big baldachin bed and even the form of the chandelier somehow reminded a flower.

– This is yours now, do you like it? I redecorated it myself a few years ago.

In his tone one could here a stating that “no” was probably not an option.

– I do like it, mr Horner, – she gently put her hand on his arm, – Thank you.

Such subtle moves were making unaccustomed to any type of caressing Jack fall in little states of stupor, but he quickly composed himself.

– Yes, khm, of course you like it. I redecorated it out of pure boredom, actually. I thought that a proper room needs a table for writing, because before that there was only a tiny table for tea and whatever, – he once again delicately pushed (Y/N) in the corridor, – And you know how it goes: it all starts with a single table and then you find yourself changing everything. So, – Jack pushed a closest to her new bedroom door, – Here comes the master bedroom.

Deep purple room was practically screaming “here lives Big Jack Horner”, especially a truly enormous bed for a biggest man you can possibly meet on the streets.

– So I think you’re already impressed with the-

– Oh my god, can I? – (Y/N) looked at Jack with a pleading eye.

– What do you want?

– Can I lay on your bed?

– What, right now?

– Yes, you’re right, we can do it after the dinner.

– My dear, – Jack loomed over, – You will lay in this bed more often than you can imagine.

His hand started to crawl lower on her back, which made (Y/N) look around nervously:

– Please, what if someone will see us?

– So what? These are peasants, – all of a sudden he roughly grabbed her bottom, – Their opinion doesn’t even counts.

– Ah! Jack, what are you-

– Jack, huh? Last time you called me by my name you were practically drooling for me, – with his free hand he pulled (Y/N) chin up to look her right in the eye, – Are you ready to scream it once more?

– Jack, we can’t-

A sudden ringing of the bell came from the first floor cutting them short.

– Ah, the dinner is ready, you’re safe now, little doll. But after the dinner, – he pressed her closer to himself, – I will have my dessert.

#big jack horner #jack horner x reader #jack horner #puss in boots #puss in boots last wish

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Part 5

I’ve never thought that it will take me to a part 5 and all in a few days … so here we are, riding and having somewhat serious conversation. Maybe it’s the last part? Idk! Please tell me what you think so far :)

The shaky ride in a small carriage cabin was mostly quiet. (Y/N) was sitting in front of Jack and looked at the picturesque evening view through the small window being deeply in thoughts.

– Why so silent all of a sudden, huh? – Jack raised his eyebrows.

– I’m thinking.

– That’s kinda obvious, what are you thinking about?

– Well, – she took a deep breath, – I am kinda confused.

Jack crossed his arms and slightly tilted his head.

– Should I take every word from you by force now or you’ll just tell me?

– With this whole situation.

– I don’t see anything confusing about it. What, you wanted me to court you for a year and a half and then, maybe, we would’ve talked about a possibility of moving together? – his tone was mocking, – I thought you too were above all this nonsense that commoners do. Why waste time when you can get straight to the business?

– It is very easy, isn’t it? – (Y/N) tiredly chuckled to herself, – Relationships are always about business to you?

– Please, stop with rhetorical questions, – he rolled his eyes in annoyance, – Are you an over-thinker? Because I’m not. I like you, I like what we’re… doing together, and I don’t think of any possible problems and scenarios in which I might change my mind about it.

– But you don’t know me, mr Horner, and I really don’t know you.

– Please, I’ve seen enough to understand what’s what. Your beauty is outstanding even by my high standards, you have a very… seductive physique, your health by what I’ve seen and checked is fine to bare children-

– Children?!

If (Y/N) eyes could pop from such an intense shock than they would have probably fallen out at this moment.

– Yes, why are you screaming?

– Mr Horner, I’ve known you just for a few days and right now we’re talking about being parents in your carriage on the way to your mansion for me to live in, is this your average relationship talk?!

– I’ve never been in a relationship.

She felt silent and leaned against the wall of a cabin behind her, while Jack averted his gaze to the window.

– Are you being serious right now? – (Y/N) asks in disbelief.

– Why should I lie? Yes, I’ve had some interactions previously but nothing serious came out of it.

– Why?

– Because I didn’t want it to.

They both fell silent for a moment, listening to the clatter of horse hooves outside.

– Than why this all of a sudden?

– I’ve already explained it to you-

– No, – she cut him short, – I find it hardly believable that my physique is so outstanding, that you decided to ask me to move in with you.

– Well, I didn’t exactly ask-

– Mr Horner.

– Ugh, fine! You’re so inquisitive you know? Sometimes almost unbearably.

Jack waited for her to respond with some snarky remark, but she only blinked in anticipation for a proper answer.

– I find you… quite amusing.

– What’s that supposed to mean if I may ask?

– Interesting, funny, cunning, knowledgeable etc etc, what, happy now? – he blurted out avoiding eye contact.

– You’re not so big on compliments, are you? – (Y/N) teased him.

– These are facts.

– Than what is a “compliment” for you?

– Well I think compliments are supposed to mean something valuable for specifically the one who says them, not the generally recognisable virtues.

A coy smile was spreading across (Y/N) face and she leaned a little bit forward to say in a playfully quiet voice:

– Can you tell me one?

– What? Im not in the mood, – Jack’s grumpy expression was sabotaged by his darting eyes.

– Please, mr Horner, – she seductively laid her hand on his knee.

Slowly warm redness started to crawl to his pale puffy cheeks. Jack was nervously looking at (Y/N) as if it was the first time he was ever touched by her. And then he breathed out in frustration:

– Ugh, fine! You make me- No, with you I feel- I start to think about- I’m starting to plan future. Together. That’s it! Happy? Are you satisfied, miss “I’m the most influential critic and your pie is dry”, huh?

(Y/N) carefully stood up in a shaky carriage to seat herself at his lap.

– You know, – her hands were sliding around Jack’s neck, – I’m a very influential critic, and it is very hard to please me, – (Y/N) looked at his red face, – But you did good, Big Daddy.

He was clenching his fists so hard because of this building up pressure that his knuckles became as white as they could possibly get.

– Do not provoke me here, – Jack gritted through his teeth.

– Or what will you do, mr Horner?

– I-

The carriage suddenly stopped making them collide a little.

– Are you delivering some thrash, you idiot?! Be careful when you stop! – Jack screamed to the coachman and then cleared his throat, – That’s it, we’re here.

– Will you carry me in your arms? – (Y/N) playfully touched the tip of his nose, which made Jack flinch a little.

– No, – this small word caused genuine disappointment, – But… perhaps another time.

(Y/N) smiled and gently pecked his pink cheek.

Oh boy what I’ve gotten myself into.

#big jack horner #jack horner x reader #jack horner #puss in boots #puss in boots last wish

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Jack Horner x Fem!Reader (food critic) part 4

I’m sorry I just can’t stop with this story!! Warnings: smut, again!

____________________

– What do you mean she’s not coming?!

– Sir, she said “I will go only if Jack Horner drags me out of here himself”, end of quote.

– Ugh, that woman! Why’s she making my life even more complicated? Fine! Get the carriage ready.

____________________

Maybe something is wrong? Why is she insisting on me being there? Must be some kind of her manipulations, again. Or is she really doesn’t want to go? Nonsense! She wanted it yesterday, why change her mind suddenly?

Jack stepped out of the carriage and proudly walked to the small house. After knocking for sometime he decided to check if the door was open and in fact it was, so he let himself in.

– Miss (Y/N), if this is some kind of game that you’re playing then I might recommend you to stop, because you made me leave a lot of work and come here, so I’m not in the mood.

Why is she so silent? Where is she?

Jack checked the kitchen and sight with frustration while making his way to the bedroom, where he spent the most pleasant time just this night.

– (Y/N), if you’re, – he saw her sitting in front of the mirror and calmly brushing her hair, – What are you doing?

No response.

– Are you ignoring me?

– Ah, mr Horner, I didn’t notice how you came, – she said somewhat mockingly.

– I’m literally the size of this building and with the loudest voice in a neighbourhood, what are you talking about?

– Sorry, my bad. Sometimes we do forget about others, aren’t we?

She’s not even looking at me! What’s wrong with this woman?

– Maybe you care to explain this strange behaviour of yours? Because I completely don’t get it and it makes me angry.

– Why? Do you really care of my thoughts and feelings? I didn’t notice it yesterday.

Oh, that’s it Jack, she’s mad at you.

– Are you- Did I do something that made you feel… bad?

– No, in fact, that’s about you not doing something that caring people care to do.

– Can you just cut it and tell me what did you want me to do or say? I can’t read minds! – Jack came a few steps closer to her.

(Y/N) was keeping quiet and crossed her arms as she suddenly started to become red.

– What? What is it?

– You didn’t let me, – (Y/N) mumbled quietly.

– Didn’t let you what?

– Finnish, – her eyes were darting on the wall in a grumpy but still ashamed manner.

Finnish? What is she talking- Oh. Oh. I get it now.

– So you’re mad at me for that? I thought it was something serious, phew!

– Yes, of course my wishes are not that serious.

(Y/N) angrily stood up and tried to storm off from the room, but big arms of a big man stopped her immediately.

– Where do you think you’re going?

– Out of this room, because I don’t want to continue this conversation!

– Well I don’t care what you want or don’t, because I came here all the way to deal with a problem, and no one will stand in my way.

Jack suddenly pushed (Y/N) on the bad making her gasp.

– You’re so rude!

– Yes, I am, – he set down on his knees near the bed and roughly pulled (Y/N) closely by her legs, – Unapologetically.

– What are you-

– Making your wish come true, – Jack lifted her skirt up, – Oh you’re one dirty girl my little one, – he chuckled, – Not wearing anything under this skirt for big mr Horner, are we?

– Well, I didn’t thought that-

– Uh huh, be silent now, pretty face. Daddy is going to work.

And oh my did he started to. He was eating (Y/N) like a piece of the most delicious pie. He kissed her, teased with his hot breath, sucked on the most soft spot and dived in as deep as possible with his skilful, long tongue.

– Ah, mr Horner! Don’t stop! Please!

– What was it? You’re begging me?

– Yes, I beg you! Please continue! Please! I was so close to-

And Jack hit her spot with a tip of his wet tongue once again, making (Y/N) shake violently.

Ah her legs are starting to spasm so hard that it’s becoming difficult to hold them even for me. Good.

And than he let go of her right leg and pushed his middle finger inside.

– Ah! Mr Horner! It's so big- Jack! Please, please faster!

Jack was very eager to make her scream his name even louder, to make her drool and loose her consciousness, but unfortunately time wasn’t on their side. So he made her wish come true: Jack started to speed up and made all the tongue twists as precise as possible.

– I’m- Im going, – she was saying those words almost completely out of breath when her back started to arch.

Yes, come for daddy.

And then, after quiet but violent shaking she loudly moaned:

– Jack!

And went limp in the pool of his saliva and her own juices. Jack sucked at her to taste every drop, what made sensitive flesh spasm with painful pleasure for a few times.

– Jack, – (Y/N) was trying to catch her breath desperately.

– Yes my little doll?

– You’re so- I thinks I’m-

Horner loomed over to tease her with his gaze.

– What is it?

– I think I’m falling for you, – she whispered.

– It’s about damn time for you to realise it, – he chuckled and stood up, – I’ll be waiting for you in the carriage. When you’re ready just call my minions to take your bags. Just don’t take any junk to my place, I will buy you a lot of new things anyway.

– Yes, daddy, – (Y/N) said coyly.

Jack smiled smugly and left the house, walking to his carriage through some deeply ashamed and embarrassed servants.

#jack horner #big jack horner #jack horner x reader #puss in boots #puss in boots last wish

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Jack Horner x Fem!Reader (food critic) 3 part

It’s time for some smut! First time, domination, you know all that stuff 🌚🌝

_______________________________

– Mr Horner, what are you doing?

– You’ve wanted me to do so, didn’t you? – Jack easily lifted her up to level their eyes.

– I- I didn’t mean to do anything bad, it’s just-

– Just what? What were you provoking me to do exactly? – he was pressing her to the wall with his body, making it difficult to avoid eye contact.

– I just like to tease, mr Horner, it’s nothing personal! Please forgive me!

– Nothing personal you say? So you don’t like me, miss (Y/N)? – he pressed her harder.

– I- I’m sorry-

– Yes or no?

– I do, but you’re frightening me, please let me go.

She’s saying that she’s frightened but I see how she flushes, I see how she breathes. She’s a bad liar.

– Don’t lie to me. I hate when people lie, – Jack whispers right in her ear, – What were you thinking when you started this game huh? Did you thought that you can get away with it?

– Mr Horner-

– I’m telling you now: you don’t play with me thinking that there will be no… consequences.

Jack slowly removed her sleeve from the left shoulder.

– Mr Horner, what are you doing? – (Y/N) breathed quietly.

– Tell me, miss (Y/N), how did you imagined this?

Jack moved his mouth closer to her shoulder, tickling bare skin with his hot breath.

– I don’t understand-

Jack suddenly bite her with his sharp and small teeth, making (Y/N) moan?

Did she just… moan? Am I imagining things right now?

– If you will lie to me, I’ll do it harder next time, – he licked a red mark left a second ago and inhaled deeply, – Such a sweet skin… I wondered how you taste for a few days now, you see.

Jack licked her once again, but this time with hunger, with some force. He felt that he was getting more and more exited… but what about her?

She definitely moaned. Little slut – likes to flirt with people. Now she won’t even think about anyone else.

– Let me make myself clear, my little thing, – his hand started to wonder over her body, – You won’t disappear, you won’t get away, you’ll never do anything without my permission, did you understand?

– I-

Jack didn’t gave her an opportunity to finish by tightly squeezing her thigh, making (Y/N) gasp once again.

– Yes or no.

– Yes, yes, mr Horner!

– Good.

Ugh the way she twists her body and says “mr Horner”. What a truly magical item did I find.

– What will you do… to me?

Jack shifted his gaze to her mouth.

– Oh my, what won’t I do to you.

He hungrily took her lips with his. His tong was twisting with such desire inside of her hot mouth, reaching to claim every little spot of it. His big hands were tightly holding her thighs to support such a little frame against the wall. (Y/N) slowly put her hands on his big shoulders, trying to desperately gasp on air between his animalistic kisses.

– You like it, don’t you?

– Mr Horner, please-

– You wanted it, wished for it.

– Ah! – she moaned as his hand squeezed her harder.

– Such a dirty little doll you are, – he lifted her from the wall, – And just for me.

Jack saw that the one door that was opened was leading to the bedroom and headed there with confused (Y/N) in his arms. He put her somewhat roughly on the unmade bed and moved on top of a shallow breathing woman.

Yes, a woman. When was a last time I’ve been with someone? A long time ago. And when was the last time I yearned for someone that much? Perhaps never. Yes, never. Ugh her bare shoulder with my marks is screaming for attention. I want to touch her everywhere, and not only today, but tomorrow, and after that and every other day. I will make her mine! No, she’s already mine. She wanted this.

– Mr Horner, please, I know that I- I behaved inappropriately and-

– Yes? – he mocked her with his intonation, gently tracing her forms with his fingers.

Those goosebumps on her skin are inviting me, begging for my affection. If anyone else touched her before me I will-

– I’ve never been with- With anyone, – (Y/N) turned her head from him being somehow ashamed of that fact.

Ah, perfect.

– Thats surprising. Are you ashamed of it? – his finger stopped on her picking through a thin layer of fabric nipple.

– No, but-

He squeezed it making her moan sound almost like a scream.

– Don’t worry, my little doll, – he loomed closer to her ear and breathed, – It will be more fun.

With one movement he exposed her breast and began to suck it, slightly biting the nipple. Small hands grasped his his shoulders tightly.

– Mr Horner! It’s so-

Jack left a wet trail after himself and with a mocking smile looked in her eyes:

– Hm? You don’t like it my little one? Let me check.

His right hand made a slow way towards her legs and easily spread them just enough for making a touch. (Y/N) tried to stop him with her legs, but it was not enough for his big hands to stop.

– Ah, that’s marvellous. You’re almost ready.

– What? Mr Horner-

He moved himself between (Y/N) legs and fixed them with firm hands:

– You know, I like my pie extremely wet.

With those words he started to taste her, making (Y/N) gasp for air and grab the bedsheets as tight as possible.

– You’re simply delicious.

– Please! Please mr Horner! I’m going to-

– No no, you will hold for me, doll. Don’t even think of finishing without my approval.

Jack worked his tongue with such vigour that it made him sweat, so he decided to finally take off the upper layers of his clothing. In that moment of silence after so much moaning Horner almost felt ecstatic as he looked at all messed up (Y/N) spread before him on the bed.

– Oh my, what a sight to see, – he dropped his jacket on the floor, – Now tell me, my little pet, – he slowly undid his belt, – Do you want mr Horner to take you?

– Mr Horner, I’m so, – she was desperately gasping for air.

– Uh-huh, it won’t do my little doll. Remember, – he once again was on top of (Y/N) and placed his hand on her throat, – It’s only yes or no.

– Please, mr Horner, I’m scared.

She’s so wet, so messy. What a good boy am I. I bet she’s even tighter than I imagined.

– Don’t be my little doll, I will be firm but gentle. Or do you have someone else in mind for that important task? – Jack squeezed her neck a little tighter.

– No, mr Horner- But-

– What now?

– You’re too- You’re so… big.

– And? – he suddenly felt that this word was exiting him even more.

– I’m afraid I won’t be able to- to take it-

– So let’s find out, shall we? - he maliciously grinned.

Jack freed himself from all the unnecessary fabric that was holding him for so long. His aching cock was hard as ever, yearning to feel all that wetness of hers as soon as possible. With a hand he helped himself to find an entrance to the desired place.

– Ah, mr Horner, – (Y/N) moaned in reaction of it touching her wet slit.

– Just try to relax for big mr Horner, would you do it for me darling?

– I- Yes, I’ll try, – she tried to breath steadily.

– Good.

With this word he pushed inside.

– Oh sweet God!

(Y/N) tightened around his head and dug her nails in Jack’s shoulders making him bleed through the white shirt.

– You’re so- Oh Lord, (Y/N)!

Jack was trying to compose himself and calm the shaking of a sudden hitting pleasure.

– Mr Horner-

She’s so tight, so wet and hot! Oh Lord, I won’t be able to stand for long- And I didn’t even started to move!

– You’re so hot for me, so wet, – Jack was breathing his words in her slightly opened lips, – You were waiting for me for so long, for me to take you, for me to be the one who claims you, – her wetness was inviting him to push a little deeper.

– Ah! Yes, mr Horner, yes, but you’re too-

His sudden third push was the last one to make it go inside fully. (Y/N) was closing around his cock so tightly that it made them both shiver.

– Big! – she cried out loud.

– It’s not my fault that you’re so appetisingly small. You were teasing me, – he started to move extremely slowly, – Playing with me, – and again, – Making me go crazy for you, – and again, – What were you expecting? – he felt as he muscles were slightly relaxing, – Did you expect me to ignore it?

(Y/N) eased her grip on his shoulders, which was an immediate invitation for Jack to take some action.

– I hope you’re used to it now, because I can’t, – he thrusts himself inside, – Hold myself, – she moans in mixture of pain and pleasure, – No longer, – and than he thrusts again.

– Mr Horner-

He starts to push and pull faster, but not hitting her that much as he wished to.

It would be very disappointing if I will rip her, wouldn’t it? But oh, fuck she’s tight-

– I won’t be able to- Ah shit (Y/N), – his movements became a pattern of quick half sized thrusts that won’t be hurting her insides that much, – You’re a tight little- Ugh, slut!

– Yes, yes mr Horner!

She’s into that too? Oh lord I’m going to make her life full of such adventures!

– Say that again! Say that you’re my, – he was trying to prolong the end as much as he possibly could but nevertheless never stopped thrusting, – My slut!

– I’m your slut! I’m your slut mr Horner! Oh, mr Horner!

He became fanatically fast pulling and pushing with a wet sound of her slit clothing tightly around him. He wanted to hit her deeply, to hear almost violent slaps of their flesh colliding, but it could’ve ended badly for both of them. So he frantically moved his wet cock in and out never hitting the end - it wasn’t that necessary for Jack to feel immense pleasure after yearning to fuck her so much.

Her face twists with such emotions, and she twists and shakes so much under me- I can’t- Her moans-

– (Y/N) scream my name! Scream it!

– Mr Horner! Mr Horner!

– Yes, yes- I’m going to-

– Please not inside! Please mr Horner!

His last thrust was deep, finally hitting that most desired spot. Following his own groaning Jack felt as he was filling (Y/N) with his cream completely.

– Oh no, mr Horner-

Jack closed her mouth with his own greedy lips and tightly pressed (Y/N) body with his.

– What if I’m going to… Oh, mr Horner-

– Don’t you worry about a thing, my little doll. I have magical solutions for every little problem.

He was breathing heavily but didn’t want to sloppily lay there in her bed. So he gently pushed all of her sweaty hair from her face and flustered it with small kisses.

– What a beauty, what a cave of wonders you are.

After watching her reddened from lust face for sometime and catching his breath, Jack stood up and started to get himself together.

– Mr Horner, are you… leaving me?

– Don’t even think about getting rid of me, little pet, – he chuckled, – You’re my property from now on and, I guess, forever. What do you think, great, huh?

– But-

– No “buts” I’m afraid. From now on you belong to me, did you get it?

After a moment of silence she quietly answered:

– Yes, mr Horner.

– Good! Very good.

Jack came closer to the bed and bent to lightly grab her by the chin.

– Get some rest now, little doll, and in the morning you will pack your things.

– Why? – (Y/N) was genuinely worried, – You said that-

– Did you think that I will let you live in this small “house” all by yourself when some random worm could see you? You’ll have to know me better, miss (Y/N).

– So am I…?

– Of course you’re going to live in my mansion, what else? Silly girl.

(Y/N) thought about it for a moment while covering herself with a now wet blanket.

– I’m a very busy and straightforward person, little pet, I don’t like to wait for something. I think few days of anticipation were enough for me.

He stepped towards the door.

– So, did I make it clear?

– Yes, mr Horner.

– Very good, miss (Y/N). I’ll see myself out.

When he was almost gone, Jack stoped and devilishly smiled at his new magic item:

– And I’ll see you very soon.

Thus he closed the door after him and walked away in the middle of the night.

What a good, delicious pie I just had.

#jack horner #jack horner x reader #big jack horner #puss in boots last wish #puss in boots

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Jack Horner x Fem!Reader (food critic) 2 part

Hello my horndogs! So here I am - quick as a lightning - with a second part of my new story! Warnings: no special ones but please do know that everything is moving towards smut in part 3 :)

________________________

He was tossing and turning all night after the strangest encounter in his life. Was it so strange because he was lacking communication skills, or because of this strange and new sensations inside of him?

Ugh! I am a big grown up man! What, didn’t I burry all this “feelings” stuff already?! Nonsense, such nonsense! Getting all exited because of some tiny little pretty thing! What, don’t you have enough of pretty little things already, Jack? Where will you put her in your collection? Maybe some special place? Like your lap- Ugh! God, just forget it! Yes, I will forget it all in a few days. I will. I must.

But he didn’t forget, moreover this frustration was becoming stronger with each passing day, making it unbearable to focus. On the fourth day he was so restless that he almost lost it and could’ve smashed something magical from his collection, and that would be catastrophic. Metaphorically and, depending on what would’ve been crushed, literally catastrophic. He just couldn’t take it any longer.

She put a spell on me! She’s clearly messing with my head! What does she want? Money? I need to stop this or I will go insane! Well, it’s better to say completely insane. As if I’m not crazily creative already.

Jack knew her address since it was necessary to find it for an invitation, or assassination as he was thinking for different possible outcomes of her arrival. But never had he imagined that he would be completely overtaken day and night by thinking of her.

Late in the evening he once again put his best suit and a coat on and was ready for a sudden visit. On the way out Jack didn’t forget to bring a small but deadly thing - a fairy Godmother’s magic wand. Just in case - for protection.

________________________

Why can’t I just knock on that stupid door, damn it! I’m walking in circles for an hour already, just get it together, Jack! Big Jack Horner, scared! And of what?! A woman! I should go back, it’s already late and dark inside, she- No, this is ridiculous!

He angrily stepped to the door and loudly knocked. The light turned on in one room, then he heard quiet but quick steps in the hallway.

– Who’s there?

– Miss (Y/N), it’s-

She opened the door. (Y/N) was standing in her silky night gown with a sleepy but deeply surprised face expression:

– I’ve recognised your voice, mr Horner, – she opened the door widely, – Are you alright? Why are you here at such hour? Please, come in.

She beckoned him to come inside the house. Jack was indeed a very big man, so to say that he was supposed to slightly bend in her small house was unnecessary.

– Do you want to tell me something, or can I help you? I’m just very confused of your sudden visit, – she tried to suppress a tired yawn, – Maybe I can offer you some tea or water?

Her hair is so messy, and this nightgown- Wait, does she has anything underneath? Oh for fucks sake, shut this stupid, stupid thoughts!

– No, miss (Y/N), I will be straightforward and will not take your and my time. So here’s the problem I’ve been facing for a few days now, and I might say I’m a very, extremely serious person, a businessman you see, – he took a step forward, – And as a very serious businessman I like to solve my problems as quickly as possible, – another step, – So I would like to say with of course, all due respect for you, miss (Y/N), that my biggest problem these days is, how can I possibly say it? Ah! Right, – he grimly loomed over to look her in the eyes, – You.

– Me? – (Y/N) was taken aback, – Mr Horner, if it’s about my article about your-

– Ugh, no! – he frustratingly stepped away, – I don’t care about this article of yours anymore! You must tell me the truth!

– What truth, mr Horner? Frankly speaking, you’re starting to frighten me.

– That’s good, miss (Y/N), that’s terrific! Because if you will fear me, you want try to put this stupid spell of yours on me again! – Jack once again looked her dead in the eye, – What do you want to achieve? My money? Some magical item of mine? Or to just drive me mad with this… thoughts?! Is this some kind of revenge? Did I accidentally killed someone from your family?

– What are you-

– If it’s the case than I’m deeply sorry, I am, but that’s life and business, you of all people must understand me! Or you just gaining some kind of pleasure from knowing that I can’t sleep thinking of this dirty… stuff?!

– Mr Horner-

– Don’t you “Mr Horner” me! Answer my question: are you a witch?!

(Y/N) was in complete state of shock. Was it from the question or from the fact that an enormous man in a state of rage was standing before her with a completely red face was unclear.

– You’re insulting me, mr Horner, – she said calmly.

– What?

– You came to my house in the middle of the night, started to yell at me when I just woke up and stand here before you only in my nightgown, and after all of that you dare to call me a witch for your thoughts. Am I wrong, mr Horner?

So she is only in her nightgown- Stop it, idiot!

– I- I didn’t- You just don’t understand!

– Enlighten me.

– Since you came I can’t stop thinking about you! I just can’t! What was I supposed to think, huh? That all of a sudden I-

He cut himself short, just before he could say anything stupid.

– You what, mr Horner?

– Fell in love? That’s nonsense! I can’t fell in love or anything like that, I’m dead inside!

She looked at him in complete disbelief:

– So am I that unbelievably ugly and unbearable that you would rather think of me as a witch, than to think that you fell for me, am I correct?

Jack fell silent. Suddenly, she started laughing. It was a quiet but a genuine laughter, like someone did something extremely funny the moment ago.

– What are you laughing at?

– At this whole situation. Alright, fine. I did put a spell on you.

– You- Are you making fun of me right now? If you are I would like to strongly advise you to think again, because-

– But I won’t tell you what kind of spell. So for me to distinguish if it is it or not you’ll have to tell me every single detail of the thoughts you’re having.

She’s toying with me once again! Ugh I just can’t with this woman! She’s being crueler to me than I’ve ever been to anyone else! What did I do to deserve this? Oh how I wish I could just punish her right here- Shut up!

– Every single detail? I think it’s impossible.

– Why so, mr Horner? If that’s a spell, you shouldn’t be ashamed of this thoughts. Because they’re aren’t yours, are they? – she started to move closer to him, – Please, take a sit.

Jack was silent for a few moments with his face showing suspicion, but nevertheless he didn’t argue and set himself on a sofa.

– Is this necessary? To tell this… things.

– I’m afraid so, – she stoped somewhere behind him.

I can easily kill her with my bare hands right now for toying with me in such a way. Why am I doing all this? Is this a part of her spell?

– Please, I won’t be an eyesore, so you can easily talk. If that’s alright with you, Mr Horner.

– Fine.

She’s standing not so far, if I just turn around and sharply take her by the throat she won’t be able to cast something on me. Just snap her little and gentle neck - that’s all. Or I could put her on the table, and- Ugh just stop!

– So what kind of thoughts do you have, mr Horner? – she spoke somewhat gently, – Am I alone in them?

– No. You’re not, – it was definitely hard for him to speak.

– No? That’s peculiar. So who is with me?

She’s playing, toying with me! That witch- It’s good that she can’t see my face right now.

– I don’t want to tell you. It’s not important.

Suddenly Jack felt a pair of little hands on his big shoulders. They were slowly, seductively moving forward, toward his chest:

– Why, it is very important.

– What are you doing? – he grits through his teeth.

No, no no no, I’m not getting exited right now, I’m not-

– You’re so uptight, mr Horner, – (Y/N) started to put some pressure, – You need to relax. So tell me, perhaps… you’re so nervous because, – she made a pause to get closer to his ear and quietly whisper into his ear, – You are the one with me?

Enough!

Jack tightly grabbed her hands making (Y/N) gasp.

– Mr Horner, you’re hurting me-

– Answer my question: are you a witch?

– Mr Horner-

– Yes or no?! – he squeezed his hands tighter.

– Ah! No, no I’m not a witch! Please stop! – she tried to step back and free her hands but all in vain.

– So how did you do it?! Did you pay someone-

– There’s no spell! I was just flirting! Please stop, you’re hurting me.

Jack slowly eased his grip and stood up to face a frightened woman.

– Flirting?

It can’t be- She’s lying. But do you lie when you’re in pain? If that’s the truth- No, I can’t possibly- She’s so frightened, her eyes are like of those beautiful scared unicorns, I could just do anything with her right now, anything! She’s not a witch, she won’t be able to do something. I can do so much-

– Yes, flirting. Please, mr Horner, I’m deeply sorry if it offended you in some way, I can just disappear, just please don’t hurt me.

She’s so desperate, so little, she will be so weak in my arms.

– I won’t.

– You- oh thank you, mr Horner. I will be gone in the morning, you’ll never see me-

– No, you won’t, – like a shark he slowly went around the sofa.

– But if my existence bothers you, shouldn’t I… why are you coming so close, mr Horner?

If that’s not magic, it means that these are my thoughts. Ah, Jack, you’re one twisted boy. But it all makes sense now: she’s so weak, so fragile, like a little doll. Why can’t we just take this little doll for us? This doll is the most interesting one, I didn’t even thought that such were existing! She’s not just pretty, there’s something in her eyes, something cunning but yet… obedient.

– Please, don’t kill me.

– Oh, I won’t kill you, my dear (Y/N), – and suddenly he pressed her against the wall, – I would like to do something… entertaining.

#jack horner x reader #big jack horner #jack horner #puss in boots last wish #puss in boots

[kristowldeer]

A Dry Pie

Jack Horner x Fem!Reader (food critic)

Hey guys, so I didn’t write anything in English for a few years now! And I just watched Puss in Boots 2, so… he’s big, obsessive, and in a purple suit, what else do we need??

I've came up with this idea of us being an influential food critic, and i didn't see any other fic like that (if I'm wrong please do correct me) so here we go! Part 2: https://kristowldeer.tumblr.com/post/713153178129055744/jack-horner-x-femreader-food-critic-2-part

___________________________

– Who wrote this? – the newspaper was slowly torn into pieces, – I’m asking you once again, – an extremely big man in a purple suit raised from his table, – Who wrote this?! – he slammed the table so hard, that the sound of it slightly cracking filled the air after.

– Sir, mr Horner, it’s-she- her name is (Y/N) , sir-

– I saw the name with my own eyes, you idiot! Where did she came from?! Who the hell she thinks she is?!

– Well, mr Horner, sir, – the worker couldn’t stop stuttering, – She’s the m-most influential food critic of the-

Enormous shadow was looming over the shaking “Little Jack’s Horner pie” company employee. For a second, poor fella didn’t even dare to breath, just to not anger his short tempered boss even more.

– Now listen to me closely. You will go to your tiny worthless table, with you tiny worthless feet, and will write a tiny invitation for this hag of a woman to come here and rethink her dry position about my dry pies, – for a moment the worker thought that Horner’s eye was twitching from inner aggression that he tried to suppress, – Instructions clear?

– Yes, mr Horner, s-sir!

– Now get out of my sight before I snapped your neck!

The worker ran to the door but stopped with it half open:

– Mr Horner… Should I call her hag in the letter?

He slammed the door shut just before a thrown knife could pierce his eye.

___________________________

They’ve settled on Thursday.

Two days were spent on thorough preparations and rehearsals for the “big arrival”, and maybe a dozen of deaths, because as once was said by a great man: you can’t bake a pie without loosing a dozen man. Especially when you are going to make the greatest pie you’ve ever done in your whole life.

On the night of her arrival Jack was thinking of possibilities of just exterminating the hag, as he named her earlier, but nevertheless wore his best suit and styled his hair just right. Everything was supposed to be perfect.

– She’s here! She’s here, mr Horner! – someone ran into his office.

– What? – he turned away from his mirror, – An hour earlier? Did you bake the pie already?!

– S-sir it’s in the oven, we need at least half an hour for it to be-

– Ugh, you idiots can’t do anything right! Now I’m supposed to talk with this woman to make her happy!

– Maybe someone else could-

– No! You will ruin everything, again. – he made a deep breath, – Fine. Tell everyone that we’re greeting her now as we rehearsed.

On the way out Jack suddenly stopped:

– And yes, if she will be displeased… – he slowly loomed over and said in deep whisper, – You’re all going to be very sorry.

___________________________

He stands there with his usual obnoxious grin, he was ready and he knew he did good, and looking good too. If only he could control every other employee, but for that it would take real magic, so he could only pray for them to not mess this up. Everything and everyone was clean and wearing a smile, not too wide and not too small, and god forbid if she sees any fear in their eyes.

Heavy, big doors of the factory were opening slowly. He thought to himself chucking inside: “We’ll see who’s gonna be important now, who’s going to have a last laugh, miss (Y/n)”. It was already dark outside, so before she stepped inside he couldn’t possibly see her face, but he has imagined it already for a few times. He clearly saw a witchy, long and ugly nose which she likes to put in others busyness, her crooked into unpleasant grimace lips, which were always conveying displeasure with others, and her beautiful, most magnetic eyes with long eyelashes, that where trying to get used to the sudden light. “Oh god she’s so- No! You, fool, get yourself together!” Jack felt as his cheeks were suddenly turning warmer.

No, no, no! What is it?! What is this stupid feeling doing in my head?! Oh, maybe she’s a witch? Yes! Absolutely, that’s why she has lived for so long and didn’t get herself killed with such nonsense that she writes! A witch! Magician! Maybe she could teach me magic some- No! Stupid voices, just shut up!

– Excuse me, mr Horner, is something wrong? You look slightly… alarmed? – he didn’t even notice as she came closer and was standing not so far from him.

– Ah! Miss (Y/N), I’m sorry, no, it’s just I’ve felt a little hot- I mean not well today, but I can reassure you that right now I’m completely fine.

– That’s good, mr Horner, – she slightly smiled and looked around, – So tell me… what did I do to deserve an honour of such an invitation?

Oh god her smile is so pretty- Shut it, stupid brain!

– I think that you know that very well, miss (Y/N). – they slowly started moving in the direction of his office, – I am very much interested in your… reconsideration of that thing that you’ve wrote about my- our pies.

– Ah, so you didn’t like my review? I hope I didn’t offend your feelings? – she slightly touched his elbow in reassuring gesture.

Why is she touching me? Her hand is so… tiny, fragile. I could’ve easily break it with just one hand.

– No, of course not, how could you possibly offend me? – he chuckled.

– I’m glad to hear that, – they’ve stepped into his office, – So, mr Horner, why aren’t we heading to the kitchen? Or do you want to show me something special that everyone else can’t see? – she smiled playfully.

God, what is she- why is she saying that? Is she implying on- No, she can’t possibly-

– Don’t be so serious, mr Horner! I apologise, I like to joke too much perhaps. You know, especially I like dry jokes.

Ah, she’s playing with me, just playing. Just jokes… right? Dry. Yes, the pie!

– It’s alright, miss (Y/N). I, of all people, can appreciate a good joke. About the kitchen, – he slowly walked to the wall with unicorn horns, – It’s just that we weren’t expecting you to be early. So I thought of entertaining you a little bit.

– And how exactly would you like to entertain me, mr Horner?

She’s smiling again. Is she joking? But there is no joke in this sentence! Is she… flirting with me? Impossible! Yes, I am a good one, maybe even more than good, but she? No. I don’t believe it. I’m misunderstanding the situation.

– As you can see, – he turned to face some shelfs of his, – I have a peculiar collection of different magical objects. I hope you will at least find it amusing.

– Yes, in fact I already do, mr Horner, – he could hear her soft steps, – What about this one?

Jack turned around to see her reaching out to touch a Midas’s hand, even though it was protected with special glass, his heart skipped a bit.

– Don’t! – as fast as he could he shifted to stop her hand.

I’m holding her hand. Her small, gentle hand. Mine looks so horribly enormous. Is she disgusted with it? I do look like a giant for her. I should probably release it… but she’s not moving either. Why?

– It’s… It’s dangerous to touch. Ever heard of king Midas? – Jack started to feel hotter, they were standing so close.

Extremely close. And I still hold her hand.

– Oh, yes, I didn’t, – her breaths were becoming shallow, – I mean I heard, but how do you have such a… hand?

She’s looking at my hand. So what is she asking about? I hope about- Her chest is rising so high, and oh lord that cleavage, I can’t get exited right now!

Sudden knock on the door made them step away from each other.

– What is it?

– Mr Horner, everything is ready.

– Yes, I’m coming- We, we’re coming. Miss (Y/N)?

– Alright, mr Horner. Lead the way, – she slightly smiled.

She smiles, but why is she looking… disappointed?

The two of them came to the table surrounded with every possible worker of the company, who were impatiently waiting for their sentence but still wearing a smile.

Jack pulled a chair for (Y/N) to sit at the neatly prepared table, and set across, hardly trying to hide his anticipation. The pie was served. The slice of it was looking extremely delicious, pared with a ball of vanilla ice cream, that was slowly and seductively melting in the heat of fresh bakery, mixing with a purple plum juice.

She took a bite.

I bet her lips are so delicious. Even more delicious than this damned pie. Why is she doing it so slowly? No, please, not the eye contact! She’s playing with me, she’s definitely a witch. I bet I look as red as I could possibly be. It’s good that it’s still hot in here after all the cooking. If anyone is staring at her right now, I swear-

– Delicious.

– What? – he stuttered.

(Y/N) already ate all of her slice, and slowly put a knife and a fork near the plate:

– Mr Horner, I said this pie is delicious. I think when I ate it in the restaurant it was not this fresh. Not this… wet.

– Wet? – Jack was very confused.

– Yes, mr Horner. Wet, not dry. I like my pie extremely wet.

Someone in the crowd breathed with a sound of relief, but Jack couldn’t mumble a single word. When she raised from the table, he almost jumped after her and nearly flipped over the table.

Why is this always supposed to be so awkward?! Damn it!

– Mr Horner, I would like to take what’s left from the pie with me, – she straightened her clothes and looked Jack right in the eye.

– Of course, miss (Y/N), – he didn’t even had to ask: a few workers were already dashing in the depth of kitchen, – Maybe we can provide you with something else, or-

– No need, thank you. I will see myself out.

– Of course, I will escort you-

– No need, mr Horner. I believe I’ve already took a lot of your time today.

Why is she so eager to go all of a sudden? Ah, of course, she’s bored and scared of you. What else have you expected?

Someone handled her a package with a pie.

– Oh, and mr Horner?

– Yes?

– I would like to have such a pie home-delivered to me in a few days. Can you do it for me, please?

She’s looking at me somewhat strange. What is she implying? We don’t do home deliveries! Ugh, quick, answer!

– Of course, miss (Y/N).

– Marvellous! So, I hope we’ll meet again, mr Horner. Have a pleasant evening.

And thus she walked away, leaving a big man standing frozen in the hot kitchen.

#jack horner #big jack horner #puss in boots #jack horner x reader #puss in boots last wish

[kristowldeer]

So I've finished MaZm Phantom of the opera and... I'm frustrated.

I thought that they will make an option to really have a choice, but in the end, it was all just for different dialogs. There wasn't an option to stay with Erik, there wasn't an option to say 'I love you'. What's the point of this whole 'choosing' stuff when in the end it doesn't even metter?? We were just observing, not deciding what will happen. Yeah, I know it's a interactive book, but still, I really wish that there was a choice to stay, to talk with Erik without! Melek by Christine's side.

Also, I didn't understand the whole concept of Meleks character. I mean... It would've been better without her?? (my personal opinion)

I like that Christine gives Erik a piece of her mind, she becames a strong character, but Christine is all about compassion! When they were burying Erik, she was so cold omg. I know that Erik is a tyrant, and jerk, but Christine felt sorry for him! And that's how it suposed to be!! I felt like she became someone else in the end...

I wanted a choice, I really wanted a choice to at least try and change Erik.

Though I'm still grateful for the game.

#mazm phantom of the opera #mazm poto #Mazm #Phantom of the opera #Poto

[kristowldeer]

This might be my favorite fic EVER

Personal Assistance (General Hux x Reader)

Prompt: “ Hi, I hope you’re doing well! You’re my favourite sw writer, and I was wondering if you could write a Hux x reader story where Kylo wants to embarrass Hux, and so purposefully sends the reader to him at an inappropriate time, and she witnesses him calling out her name while he’s masturbating? “ 

This sinful little fic was so much fun to write. Thank you for your suggestion! Let me know how you guys enjoy it. Also, as a warning, here be smut!

Being a part of the First Order hadn’t been your dream job, exactly. But between the fall of the Republic and your family’s die-hard loyalty to the Order, you hadn’t been left with many career options. Sure, you could have found some small job on your planet, something low-key that would pay the bills, but you wanted to travel, to see the galaxy and explore the far-off corners of the known worlds. And the only way you could do that was by joining the infamous regime now in power.

During your brief stint in the academy, though, you’d stumbled upon some very rare good luck in the form of a job that would allow you to see exotic places all while avoiding being put on the front lines of fighting - a position as the personal assistant to a high-ranking official. You’d jumped at the opportunity, never thinking to ask who that official was before sending in your application along with other cadets who were interested.

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[kristowldeer]

I'm not your enemy

Mr World X Fem!Reader fic (part1)

Hi guys! Just finished "American Gods", and I'm obsessed. Crispin Glover is my love since "Charlie's angels", and he was the main reason for me to watch OMG.

Imagine that you’re a witch that worked for Saturday long time ago, but you quit messing with the gods and started a new life. When the conflict between new and old gods began, you knew that someone will come after you, but you could’nt even imagine who it would be.

Hope you’ll enjoy it!

———

It was a long day. Stupid workers, exhausting workout, the phone fell into the water - today something has definitely gone wrong. And all day you felt someone's presence, you felt like someone was looking at you, looking after you. 

You had a dream that someone called you by name, the voice was unfamiliar. It was sweet, but yet intimidating. In that moment you even felt like someone touched your hand, and you woke up.

The heat seized your body, despite the fact that it was very cold outside. You decided to take a shower and cool off a bit, freeing thoughts from oppression. You felt like you could still hear that voice with a striming water, voice too pleasant to be true, too suspicious to be good.

You neatly left the shower, wiped the body with a towel and looked into the misted-out mirror. Your eyes were incredibly sleepy, but something told you that night is going to be long. Putting on your dressing gown, you left the bathroom.

You sat on the bed and listened. It was dark around. Crickets are singing in the street. Night wraps the air and your being, you felt like a dream creeps up to you ... But suddenly hear someone's breath, and this breath is in your house.

“Okay bitch, you'd better show yourself until I found you!”  – you felt the heat rising in your veins, you where ready to kill someone that moment.

Scratching your teeth, you went out into the living room and were about to turn on the light, but someone immediately turned on the floor lamp.

“That is unnecessary.” – said the voice of the man in your couch. That voice. The same voice that you heard in a dream. 

It was dark around, but there were enough light to see him. A thin middle-aged man in a black suit was here, he was very calm. His cheekbones stood out on the pale face, thin lips flowed into a slight smile and blue eyes were piercing your soul.

You were speechless. Not that you did'nt want to say something, you just couldn’t. You felt the power that comes from him, you felt his pressure on yourself. You knew who he was. You heard about him before, but never met, and didn’t want to, that's why you quit witchcraft and all this holly-gods-stuff. You were scared. 

“My apologies for such a late visit, but I could not resist when I found out where you live. I could no longer wait for our meeting.” – he smiled at you.

In surprise you raised your eyebrows and took a couple of steps to the chair that stood in front of the sofa.

“Yes, it may sound strange, but I really wanted to see you.”  – he said. You silently sat down on a chair and stared at the intruder. He was handsome enough to fall in love, but not enough to refuse to beat his face right here and right now.

“And why?” – you crossed your legs and put your head on your arm, after all, it was your house and you want to sleep, and he is a guest here, uninvited guest.

“I need a favor.” – the man said quietly.

“Why would a god ask for help of a regular witch?” – you smiled slightly with arrogance. Since he personally came to ask for a favor, that means he can't hurt you... Right?

“Don’t pretend to be weak. I know what you're capable of. ‘Katrina’ was quite... impressive” 

You felt everything dropped inside. You tried to ignore that incident as much as you can, but you will never forget.

“It’s... It was an accident... I didn’t meant to...”  – you fell silent, no longer you were arrogant. You felt miserable. How many misfortunes brought your imprudence, how many deaths...

“Oh no, I'm not here to judge you, my love”, – the man quickly got up from the sofa and sat on his knees next to your chair, – “I’m here to ask for help after all, I had no intention of upsetting you,”  – he gently took your hand with both of his. Strangely you felt the warmth inside as he looked into your eyes.The god was on his knees before you, begging for help. Regular people can’t even dream about such things.

Without removing your hand from his you asked  – “What exactly do you want from me?” 

“Nothing terrible,” – he smiled, – “Just you by my side at the right time and in the right place,”  – than, as gently as he could, he pressed his lips to your hand and kissed it. You felt his soft and cold lips on your warm skin, at the moment you even thought that he just wants to stay like that for a moment, and that's what you wanted too. Suddenly he got up, still holding your hand.

“I do not ask you to give an answer right now, you should think about it. Whether you will return to what you left behind and what you ran from, or you continue to suppress your potential”  – than he let go of your hand and headed for the exit, you immediately followed.

“Ah, and the last thing,” – at the front door, he turned around to face you, – “I don’t know what they told you about me, but believe me, I'm not your enemy, (Y/N), and I've never been. Sorry for such a first meeting, and good night,” – with those words he left.

You closed the door after him, and then went to bed, still wondering about one thing:

“Did he just called me ‘Love’?”

#american gods #omg #american gods x reader #american gods imagine #american gods fanfic #mr world #mr world imagine #mr world x reader #mr world x you #crispin glover

[kristowldeer]

Imagine: the first time you met.

Yes I'm obsessed, no warnings.

You asked me for more - here it is. Hope you'll like it, and let me know if you do! If you have some cool ideas about Dryden X Reader - text me ;)

You have arrived on the Vos' yacht, 'First Light', when the party was already started.

You felt awkward in this place. People and different kinds of aliens where radiating contempt and anger, hiding their real feelings behind a smile, music and alcohol.

Your friend, Margaryt, told you that this is a great opportunity to find some new friends and alliance. But you didn't like this idea, you didn't want to get involved with such persons, and didn't want to become a part of Crimson Dawn like your family and friends. Their political ideas and principles were far from your understanding, but nevertheless, you had to come here.

You stood apart from the crowd, looking out for a friend in it:

– Where is she? She was here just for a minute ago, oh Marga-

– Excuse me, – a man's voice came from behind.

You shuddered a little in surprise and turned to the speaker. He was tall, with pale skin and light hair, dressed in black clothes and holding a glass of champagne in right hand. Looking at his face, you remembered the stories that your friend told you, the story's about "the man so powerful, that the whole criminal galaxy is trembling under his fingertips". Margaryt was a professional dramatizer, but nevertheless, his stern blue eyes and red marks on the skin really seemed to warn about danger. A phrase slipped through your mind, – “Handsome devil”.

– You are here for the first time, aren't you? I am Dryden Vos.

– (Y/F/N), nice to meet you. How did you find out? – you again began to look into the crowd, trying to find a familiar face in it.

– You don't look like everyone else here. You look... Fresh.

– Huh? What do you mean by 'fresh'? – you looked at him with a slight smile.

– Every time I see new faces here, – he looked thoughtfully in the large window at the side of the room, – Someone leads a friend, then he leads a new friend and so on, and on, and on. But they are already coming here exhausted by this atmosphere of eternal parties and hypocritic conversations. You stand out, it is clear that you are uncomfortable here, you don't like it here.

– I'm sorry if I upset you, it's just not my kind of party.

– No apologizes here. I don't like it either. This chatter and noise annoys me, but though I can't stop it. You know, it's more of a duty to me. To keep the power you need to constantly feed the subjects.

You stood quietly, thinking about his words.

– It might sound harsh, I don't want you to think of me as a slave master or a tyrant, I'm just--

– You don't need to explain, – you calmly interrupted him, – I understand.

He was really surprised by your opinion. Why are you not offended?

– You are above everyone here, and it's clear. You have to do things that often do not bring any pleasure to stay on top--

– Because it is so easy to fall down... – for a so-seemed long time you where just watching in distance in silence. You thought about your duties. How can you break them, how can you run from them, and, what's more important, from your family?

– Have you ever fallen?

– Excuse me? – he asked in surprise.

– From the top. Have you ever sacrificed power for something close to you?

He seemed to be very confused by this question, or even upset by his answer.

– For bad or for good, but I don't have anything or anyone close.

After a light pause, you turned your had to look at him once more:

– Maybe you just need to look more closely.

You gave him a last glance, and with a smirk headed right into the crowd, leaving the criminal lord staying at the corner with wide eyes... And interest in meeting again.

#dryden imagine #dryden vos x reader #dryden vos #dryden #dryden x reader #dryden vos imagine #dryden vos x you #solo #solo 2018 #solo star wars story #star wars imagine

[kristowldeer]

Dating Dryden Vos would include

So I'm going to be the first one who FINALLY will post Dryden X Reader one shot. I hope you'll like it. (Sorry for mistakes, English is not my mother tongue)

No warnings. Enjoy and let me know if you will!

So, I think you've already know that it's very dangerous to date a person like Dryden. Just a simple warning.

–Him not leaving you from his sight. Never. Who knows what can happen to you and what his enemies can do to you?

– Him treating you like a queen and making everyone around do so as well.

And if someone will protest, well... We all know that Dryden does not used to repeat the second time.

– Him taking you on the most expensive dates in the gallaxy.

– Him buying you everything and anything, even if you don't need it or didn't asked for it.

– Watching movies together and he always nagging.

– He always tries to cheer you up with jokes, some funny stories and cuddling when you feeling bad.

But, again, if someone else will joke around when you upset, he will not be happy with this. Like, at all.

– But when he is upset, you should rather be very silent, just stroke his hair and give the man some kisses in forehead and cheeks. Whisper to him that you love him, that he deserves love and you will always be by his side. He's like a baby, very emotional and ( I believe ) will cry from happiness when you're around in such moments.

– When he's angry with something - just sit. In silence. Don't leave, but don't take part in his rage speech. When he asks you something - be polite and gentle. You need to be calm, that way he will calm down a little bit faster.

– When he's angry with you - be very accurate. He's a short-tempered person, as you can be too. So if you can't hold back your feelings - just be ready to have a fight.

– After the fight do not come to apologize first, even if it's your fault. If he's ready to talk - he will come immediately, but if he's not - he probably will scream something like 'Get out!', so, just be patient.

– He likes when you call him with some classic sweet names like honey, love, dear. Nothing extra.

But nevertheless he's favourite is 'my personal emperor'

– When it comes to the sex - you are the one who mades a final decision. He can start to kiss you, but he kinda worried that you're not in the mood.

And he can never resist to you. Just slowly kiss him in the neck and get lower with every kiss, voilà - he's yours.

He loves to bite and even more loves to be bitten.

He always holds your body very tightly, he wants to feel every inch of you, wants to be part of you, he won't leave you for anything. Never.

– When everything is over he always asks how you feel, did you like it and what he can do to please you even more. You can't help but smile.

And remember! To love this man you need to be strong and have a lot of patience.

You will live with his anger outbursts, breakdowns and dangerous business. But if you can stand it, he will make everything to make you the happiest person in the world. He will do anything for you.

#solo #star wars #han solo #dryden #dryden vos #dryden x reader #dryden x you #dryden vos x reader #dryden imagine #dryden vos imagine #dryden vos x you #solo star wars story #solo 2018 #paul bettany #star wars imagine #star wars fanfic

[kristowldeer]

Imagine 12 doctorXFem!Reader "Mortal"

Hello guys, I’ve just finished watching Doctor Who, and I’m pretty upset with fact that Peter Capaldi has left the show, he was my favourite doctor, so here’s a new imagine with 12th!

Imagine that you’re a Doctor’s companion, you’re very upset because of your mortality and impossibility of being with him forever. You can’t hide your feelings from him anymore.

You where sitting on the steps inside of the TARDIS, deep in thought and staring at the Doctor working. He had been busy with some galaxy-saving-whatever stuff, so he didn’t even notice when you came down from the second floor. You were thinking about future, about yours and his future together.

And it’s impossible. You were mortal, unlike him. A warm tear rolled down your cheek, but you immediately wiped it away.

- Oh! (Y/N), I didn’t… Are you crying? What happened? - the Doctor came up to you and sat down on the step below, laying his hand on your knee, but you quickly brusheda it away, which made him raise his eyebrows in surprise, - Explain?

You gave him a look full of pain and sadness with tearful eyes and trembling lips. You looked as if you were ready to burst into tears at any second, and it frightened him, he didn’t know what to do.

- (Y/N), I-

- I love you!

- Wha-

- Yes, I love you, Doctor! - you grabbed his hands and pushed him closer to you, - I’ve loved you always, and I don’t care about anything in this world except you! - suddenly you stood up and raised your voice - I know that it’s not mutual, but what kills me more is the fact that I am mortal! I’m a stupid human and the same companion as everyone else, and where are they? Someone is dead, someone is forgotten, someone is left without a memory about you, I’m one of many, but you are one of a kind! You won’t give a damn about me when you will find another girl.. or a boy, I don’t know! I just… Just… - tears began to drain down your cheeks, you could no longer hold back. You slowly sat down, pressed your knees to your chest and lowered your face to them, trying to hide from everyone and everything.

Doctor didn’t make a move, you were sitting there in silence for some time, and suddenly he whispered:

- Lies.

- What? - As soon as you lifted your head, Doctor immediately pressed his lips to yours, holding your face in his soft hands. You felt like time stopped around you, you couldn’t move, your eyes remained wildly open. ‘Is this some kind of a trick to make me feel better?’ you thought.

He slowly moved away and ran his thumbs down your cheeks wiping away the tears:

- Don’t you dare to say that I don’t love you. Never, - he got up and went to the console, - It’s time to show you something. (Y/N), do you remember your parents?

- Yes, why shouldn’t I? - you followed and stood next to him, looking at the screen which he put forward.

- What if I told you that they’re not just humans?

- What are you saying?

- (Y/N), you’re not mortal.

[kristowldeer]

Your Armitage.

Part 2 of “Adjutant” GUYS I’M SO PROUD OF THIS PART, This is the best I’ve ever written in English! PLEASE leave your opinion in comments and don’t forget to read the small part1 , ENJOY! 

You walked along the corridor of the space station tapping your heels. A new uniform, new duties, a new life. Since the time when everyone learned about your promotion, you began to catch strange glances and hear gossip about yourself, but tried not to pay attention, although it was hard. 

First you had to go to your General’s office. He was the coldest person not only on the ship, but also in the universe, as you thought. But something in his blue eyes made you melt before him, but you never intended to show it.

You knocked on the door and opened it: - Can I come in, Sir?

Strict voice answered immediately: - Yes, come in.

You went into the room and stood a few meters in front of the General’s desk. The red-haired man was completely immersed in his work and didn’t even look up at you. His long fingers drove through the datapad in circles when he suddenly turned it off and looked directly into your eyes:

- Miss (L/N), how do you think: why you were chosen? - he slowly got up and slowly went to a huge window, from which you could see stars and space, holding his hands behind his back.

- I don’t know, Sir. Actually, that’s exactly what I wanted to ask.

Suddenly he turned to face you sharply and took a few steps towards: - Don’t play coy, mrs (L/N). You perfectly understand why, - with every word he stepped closer to you, while there was almost no distance between you two. You felt the growing heat in your body, and how your heart began to beat faster. Why is this happening to me?! Is this some kind of a prank? But I don’t think he can even smile! - you thought.  - N-no, Sir, I-

- Please, call me Armitage, - he spoke quietly and slowly, you never thought that you would hear anything other than his menacing and harsh speech, but now … Now you just wanted to sigh languidly and look into his eyes, which looked you down from above, - Can I call you (Y/N)? Please… - he gently touched your shoulder and looked up from your lips to your eyes.

- Of-of course you can, sir- I-I mean, Armitage… - you tried to turn your head away from him, hiding your embarrassment, but he immediately turned it back, taking you by the chin.

- Please, don’t turn away from me, - he gently stroked your skin with his thumb, and you felt that you could moan at any moment, - Never, - he grabbed your waste and pulled you closer to him.

- Yes, my Ge- Armitage… - you said in a low, trembling voice and he smiled at the edge of his lips.

- Yes, yours, - slowly Hux leaned over and kissed your cheek, - And now, mrs (Y/L/N), go back to work. And don’t forget my datapad, - he let you go and headed for the exit, leaving you for a few minutes in a state of shock before you grabbed the datapad and ran after him.

#armitage hux #armitage hux x reader #general hux #general hux x reader #general hux x you #star wars #star wars last jedi #the last jedi #last jedi #hux x reader #hux imagine

[kristowldeer]

The new Adjutant

Part 1 of “Adjutant”

Part 2 

Hi guys! I’m back again with a General Hux X fem!Reader fanfic. Enjoy!

———

- (Y/N), have you heard the news?! - your friend Mitaka was very excited and literally flew to your table during the lunch.

- What are you talking about? - you where surprised, because nothing special where happening in last few days.

- You’re going to be the new general adjutant! - he grabbed you by a shoulders trying not to scream.

- Is this a new joke? Not very fu-

- I’m not joking! You really need to listen the announcements, (Y/N). Huxes last helper died in that catastrophe last week, they where searching for a new one.

- So why are you thinking that I’m going to be next adjutant?

- Because you’re the best officer in our unit, and have you seen how Hux looking at y-

- No no no, I’ve heard this too many times, there is no ‘special gaze’, okay? Nobody sees it except you, it’s your fantasies. He’s cold with me as with everyone else.

- Sooo… Are you saying that he didn’t searched for you when there was a fire everywhere?

- It’s just-

- Screaming ‘where is Mrs (Y/L/N) ?!’

- He just worried about his workers, that’s it, - you’ve suddenly felt a heat rising to your cheeks.

- He doesn’t call anybody else by 'mrs’ or 'mr’. And he definitely didn’t ran in searching of somebody else that night, and he-

- Okay okay, enough, - you where turning red, what made Mitaka chuckle, - But you will see that I’m not going to-

Suddenly a voice in the loudspeakers began to speak:

“ First Order made a decision to raise to the rank of General Adjutant officer (Y/F/N). Congratulations, soon you will be delivered all the instructions… ”

You’ve heard a squeak but didn’t even raised your head to see Mitaka’s gaze.

- Shut. Up.

#the last jedi #last jedi #star wars last jedi #star wars #general hux #armitage hux #hux x reader #general hux x reader #hux imagine #armitage hux x reader #hux x you #general hux x you #the force awakens

[kristowldeer]

Me after the last jedi :

"how to lose your virginity in space" step-by-step instruction

Step 1: Connect with ur bae by telepathy

Step 2: Show off some skin, you've been working out for a reason, right??

Step 3: Tell your bae a sad story from your childhood (if she cries - you've done perfect!)

Step 4: Touch her but only at a distance, use the force! (also u can touch yourself too)

Step 5: Invite her to your house and don't forget to put ur handcuffs on her (girls like it rough)

Step 6: kill somebody for her

Step 7: say that she's nobody but not for u (cuz ur cool) and make a proposition to rule the world together

Profit! If it's not enough for her to being yourth - don't be sad!

She will be.

#kylo ren #kylo x rey #reylo #star wars #star wars last jedi #the last jedi #last jedi #ben solo #rey x kylo ren #rey x ben #kylo ren x rey

[kristowldeer]

Imagine Pennywise X Reader, "Naive" p.2

Sorry that it took me so long. And PLEASE! If you will see a grammatical error, tell me!! My language is not eng, and I want to make it better, so you can help me. Thank you and enjoy! _________________________ You woke up in a dark and not-so-good smelled place. “Where am I?”, you look around: it was some kind of a dungeon, with a whole mountain of things in the center. “So cold… And wet”, you slowly stand up placing a fingers on your temples. Terrible headache reminded you of what happend… Yesterday? “How long I was here?” than you heard carnival music, the one that played before the performance of the clowns. Carefully, step by step you went around the mountain and saw red box with an inscription “Pennywise, the Dancing Clown”. Suddenly the lid has opened. Inside of it was a clown… You rememered, it was him who brought you here. He started to dance. You where terrified by his strange, angry face, but the moves where so ridiculous, because of what you could not help laughing. Than the music stops, he jumped up to you and as if hanging from above because of his growth growled right in your face: - What so funny? - you where looking right into his eyes. His teeth where sharp, eyes glowed bloody orange, staring deeply into your soul. But you just smiled. - You, - he was surprised. Why she’s not scared of him? Than he examined you from head to toe and than closed his eyes.

- Of course… Stupid, stupid me! - he struck his forehead with the palm and lifted her chin with his fingers, - You’re not a child, aren’t you? How blind I was… - he leaned closer to your neck making your face blush and sniffed, - You smell like one of them… But with something special… - What do you mean by “Special”? - you tried to push his face away with the palm of your hand, but he quickly and firmly grabbed your wrist and drew closer to his mouth, making a slow lick. - Courage. Thirst for something new… - you knew that you could hardly get out of his paws now, but you could play with him at least, right? - So, you can offer me something, clowny? - he was shocked, but it was nice for him to experience something new too, so he devilishly smiled and leaned closer to your face, whispering. - I will, dolly, and you’ll either ask me for more, or you’ll regret that you told me that at all…

#it #it2017 #it stephen king #pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise x reader #pennywise x you #pennywise imagine #pennywise fanfic