knightheim

[knightheim]

sometimes you can only hold on to a single happy moment you once had amd pray really hard to experience it one more time

[knightheim]

some people choose to stay at the same place just because they know how it feels to turn back and see that there's nothing to return to .

[knightheim]

“There’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don’t anymore.”

— Unknown

[knightheim]

I'm tired of trying just to get by. Every single time you push yourself to get out of the comfort zone, heavens swoop down and will not stop until you feel like it's better to be six feet under.

Like, nobody said it was easy but nobody ever told me it'll be this hard either. Have I missed the fair game train or something?

It doesn't help that the only voices and ears around are the ones in my head and ones beneath the bed.

Don't get me wrong. I count the blessings. It's just the hurdles tend to outweigh it by a landslide, so much, might as well call it an avalanche, rolling downward spiral.

It's tough, it really is. I just hope I can make it to end game.

#emotions #spilled ink #my words #personal #spilled thoughts

[knightheim]

How about taking like ten of these?

[knightheim]

I am already convinced that I will live and die in seclusion and solitude.

That whomever takes play in my journey will always leave.

And my mind will continously drift into chaos, and plunge into void over and over again.

Until the last note plays.

[knightheim]

[knightheim]

Once dead, like Lazarus, with your word, I shall arise.

Each stab of reality does not bother me.

But only the fear of this vengeful angel behind me.

Bloodied wings it spread.

A deed can never be undone.

Vengeance is justice served cold

Choices are free but consequences are not.

[knightheim]

“How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you’ll never meet them. All right, so we do the best we can. Granted. But we must still realize that love is just the result of a chance encounter.”

— Charles Bukowski

[knightheim]

There are times when you have to accept that there is no bigger picture. You'd be looking all over the place just to see a pen stabbing you, missing the point all along.

[knightheim]

Something is off

Everything feels wrong.

You just lost the burden that kept you awake full of worries, questions, doubts and all sorts of shit.

You're free!

So why?

Why is that whenever I try to the things I used to love feels so empty?

Will someone tell me?

[knightheim]

True love is unconditional, isn't it?

Yet both parties need to be mutually agreed to feel the same and keep it together.

Curious how we see it to flow oh so harmoniously.

Yet we are to bond ourselves to each other as if it's something temporary.

Ah, Love..

Irrational yet it makes perfect sense.

A feeling that can be selfish and selfless.

And it all falls down right where it should and we all hope it last forever.

Just like chocolate with a hint of bittersweet flavor that hooks all the sins we could think of as we beg for more.

[knightheim]

I've done it!

My fingers were shaking as I tapped the buttons but I finally did it!

It wasn't easy.

It was a roller-coaster ride with her.

But it was too one-sided and I feel like breaking into pieces.

So I'm saving myself so that one day, I'll be ready for the right person who will be as excited as I am each day.

Rain or shine

[knightheim]

I couldn't help but to keep rolling the dice. Maybe it would have been a lot easier if you just pull the plug, cut the cords and throw it all away.

Look, call this a lame excuse and all but for what it's worth, you have to do this for yourself.

If the person whom you care about doesn't see anything wrong with their actions, let alone listening to your plea, then be human enough to save yourself.

At some point, you will end up being heartless because you gave it all for one person and didnt get anything back.

But you have you.... Treasure it

[knightheim]

If you're having a bad day, at least make it a point to have that vibe end with you. Else know that you don't have to shoulder it alone.

When everyone feels so far yet the moment somebody goes near, you don't say a word.

I'd like you to know that someone is watching

Plainly waiting for a sign to at least in front of those walls.

For each unwanted step of getting closer might push you away.

That person wants you at bay ; praying for the right time.

Steel yourself.

[knightheim]

“I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.”

— Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (via thoughtkick)

[knightheim]

I want to go back.

Back in the days when waking up isn't part of a chore.

When I genuinely smile as I talk over the phone.

Dreaming to return to the days when I wouldn't worry whether I had forgotten something in the kitchen sink.

If I could just redeem all the time, money and energy wasted from the interactions when I could've just avoided it all.

Now I lie awake at night.. Ill and depressed; scraping what's left.

Staring at a blank page, I asked

"Was it all for naught and regret?"