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kipscorner · 27 days
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Monsters! Feel free to change pronouns, relationship mentions and anything else to match your writing preferences! Part of the list has been put under Read More due to it being a long list!
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“Uh... my friends call me Phlegm.”
“Mr.(Mrs/Miss/etc) [Name], can you tell me what you did wrong?” “There is nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you!”
“You can't make me!”
“Yes, it's dangerous work and that's why I need you to be at your best.”
“it's going to be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in or simply... work out that flab that's hanging over the bed!”
“I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, [Name].”
“Did you see me? I'm a natural!”
“Hey, wasn't I great? Did the whole family see it?”
“You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.”
“Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.”
“I told you, call me [Name].”
“We just wanted to wish you good luck today.”
“Quiet! You'II make him lose his focus.”
“Oh, Googley-woogley, you remembered!”
“So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?”
“But it's impossible to get a reservation there!”
(singing) “You and me! Me and you! Both of us together!”
“You know, pal, she's the one. That's it. She is the one!”
“Oh, and, uh, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations.”
“Oh, no problem. They're under the name Googley Bear.”
“I wasn't scared. I have... allergies.”
“Do you hear that?It's the winds of change.”
( mocking voice ): ''You hear it? You hear the winds of ch...? –Oh, what a creep. One of these days, I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.”
“[Name], you didn't file your paperwork last night.”
“I'm watching you, [Name]. Always watching.”
“You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!”
“She wasn't scared of you?”
“I could've been dead! I could've died!”
“I will personally put you through the shredder!”
“I love working with that big guy.”
“[Name] and I are like brothers.(sisters//siblings/etc)”
“We're just going through a rough time, sir.(ma’am/name/etc) Everyone knows you're going to get us through it.”
“Now, that's my boy(girl,etc)!”
“I've never seen anything like you today. You were on a roll, my man.(girl/etc)”
“So get this-- as if dinner wasn't enough I'm taking her(her/them/etc) to a monster truck rally afterwards.”
“You know, I am so romantic sometimes I think I should just marry myself.”
“'Cause I got to tell you, buddy that face of hers, it just makes my heart go...Yikes!”
“Your stunned silence is very reassuring.”
“Kitty!”
“No, no-- stay back!”
“Oh, [Name], I've had a lot of birthday... well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.”
“I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye(eyes) on you-- how pretty you looked.”
“What a coincidence, running into you here! Uh, I'm just going to order something to go.”
“Get out of here. You're ruining everything.”
“Please remain calm. This is not a drill.”
“Well, I don't think that date could have gone any worse.”
“Well, a kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision!”
“I tried to run from it, but it picked me up with its mind powers and shook me like a doll!”
“It is my professional opinion that now is the time to... panic!”
“No, don't touch those, you little...! Oh, now those were alphabetized.”
“It's okay, it's all right. As long as it doesn't come near us we're going to be okay.”
“I have no idea but it would be really great if it didn't do it again.”
“How could I do this? How could I be so stupid?”
“That thing is a killing machine!”
“I bet it's just waiting for us to fall asleep and then wham! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend-- easy prey. We're sitting targets.”
“Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.”
“That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!”
“Are you sleepy? You want to sleep? ls that what you want? Huh?” 
“No. Hey, hey, that's my bed! You're going to get your germs all over it. ( sighing ) Fine. My chair is more comfortable anyway.”
“Will you go to sleep?”
“Oh, boy, how do I explain this?”
“How about I sit here, until you fall asleep? Go ahead. Go to sleep. Now. Now... go. Uh, you... go... to... sleep. ( imitating snoring )”
“Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me!”
“Is that a joke? Tell me you're joking.”
“[Name], I'd like to think that, given the circumstances I have been extremely forgiving up to now but that is a horrible idea!”
“Don't panic-- we can do this.”
“Actually, that's my, uh, cousin's sister's daughter…”
“That is the weirdest thing you have ever said.”
“That's a cute little dance you've got. It almost looks like you've got to…”
“Where did she go? Oh, did she disappear? Did she turn invisible?”
“[Name], my tender, oozing blossom you're looking fabulous today.Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me. It's a new haircut, isn't it? That's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You've had a lift. You've had a tuck. You've had something. Something has been inserted in your skin that makes you look like...”
“Ready or not, here I come! I'm getting warmer! Any second now! Fee fi fo…”
“Don't you think I'm aware of the situation? I was up all night!”
“Yeah, well, until we know for sure we're going to act like nothing happened, understand?”
“You're right, you're right. We're just two regular joes on our way to work. We will blend right in!”
“Very good. Now bon voyage!”
“That's what I decided to call her(him/them). Is there a problem?”
“[Name], you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!”
“ow put that thing back where it came from, or so help me…!”
“But if it was an inside job I'd put my money on [Third party].”
“( whimpers ) last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!”
“Sushi? Sushi?!! You think this is about sushi?!”
“So I said, ''If you talk to me like that again, we're through!''
“Oh, well, hello, there. What's your name?”
“I got us a way out of this mess but we got to hurry.”
“Oh, you're all right! I was so worried! Don't you ever run away from me again, young lady(mnan/etc)! Oh, but I'm so glad you're safe.”
“We're going to get our lives back. The nightmare is over.”
“Okay, first of all, it's cree-tin. If you're going to threaten me do it properly.”
“Well somebody's certainly been a busy bee.”
“I'm sorry, [Name], but [Third party] said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his(her/etc) evil plot.”
“We got to get out of here now! We can start a whole new life somewhere far away!”
“I was going for a snake ninja approach with a little hissing.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? It's all about presence!”
“[Name]? [Name], it's me…”
“[Name]? No, no, no, no. It's okay. I was just…No, no, no, no, no, don't be scared. That wasn't real. It's just a...I was just…”
“Does anyone else know about this?”
“All you had to do was listen to me-- just once! But you didn't, did you? You're still not listening!”
“Welcome to the Himalayas!”
“Snow cone? No, no, no. Don't worry-- it's lemon.”
“Did you see the way she(he/etc)... looked at me?”
“Take my buddy, Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself King Itchy.”
“Look at that big jerk. Ruined my life, and for what?”
“Wasteland? I think you mean wonderland! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh?”
“Okay, rule number one out here. Always…No.Never go out in a blizzard.”
“None of it matter...Wa-wait a second. None of it matters?”
“So, now the truth comes out, doesn't it?”
“What about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh?”
“What about me? I'm your pal. I'm... I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?”
“I'm sorry, [Name]. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean for this to happen. But [Third Party]’s in trouble.”
“'Whoa, whoa, whoa. ''We''? No. There's no ''we'' this time, pal. I-if-if you want to go out there and freeze to death you be my guest... because you're on your own.”
“I never should have trusted you with this.”
“Let's get you home.”
“You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, [Name].”
“I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think.” “I'm being attacked!”
“No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest. Just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.”
“If you start crying, I'm going to cry and I'II never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you but I am now.”
“[Name], I am baring my soul here. The least you could do is pay attention!”
“Somebody's got take care of you, you big hairball!”
“[Name], if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!”
“You expect me to believe that pack of lies, [Full name]!”
“Go get 'em, Googley Bear!”
“What a plan-- simple, yet insane!”
“How are we supposed to get to it now? Oh, it's a dead end, [Name]!”
“Hurry up, hurry up! Give me your hand.”
“Jump! I'm behind you!”
“Hurry up! Keep moving!”
“You stupid, pathetic waste!”
“You've been number one for too long, [Name]. Now your time is up!”
“Mama, another gator got in the house!”
“Give me that shovel! Come here!”
“All right, I got a move here. It'II bring down the house.”
“I think we stopped him, [Name]. You're safe now.”
“She's(he’s/etc) seen too much. You both have.”
“Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys but I spotted several big mistakes.”
“Two and a half years of undercover work were almost wasted.”
“What, you mean... you mean, I can't see her(him/etc) again?”
“I bet we get the rest of the day off.”
“Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it!”
“Oh, sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and... gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now. Not to mention the angry mob that'II come after us when there's no more power, but, hey... at least we had some laughs, right?”
“Oh, I love kindergarten. Best three years of my life.”
“[Name], you're such a charmer.”
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kipscorner · 2 months
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Friendly reminder that in these days, when you're replying to a thread, to @ your partner. Sometimes the notifications won't always show up in the activity, and sometimes they won't even show up in thread tracker. At least with @'ing your partner, you have a better chance of actually seeing that your partner replied!!!
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kipscorner · 1 year
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-- Anything in parentheses (abc) feel free to delete! -- Anything in square brackets [abc] feel free to change! -- This is a long post, so please remember to tag “long post tw” or some kind of varient of the sort so you don’t clog mobile users dashes/people who don’t have “shorten posts.” turned on! :D
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“Doesn't this seem like a bit much?”
“This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?”
“You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.”
“Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!”
“I really don't like them. No, I don't.”
“I've been much too tolerant of these (Whovenile) delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.”
“So, they want to get to know me, do they?”
“I guess I could use a little social interaction.”
“Yeah, you bet. Ho, ho, ho, and stuff…”
“You see, [name]? The city is a dangerous place.”
“Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.”
“Well, it's just, I look around at you and [Mom] and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem...superfluous?”
“I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or....”
“Take a look at his mailbox, (sweetie). Not a single Christmas card, in or out… Ever!”
“And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty!”
“Well, that worked out nicely.”
“[Max], let's go. Our work here is finished.”
“Don't you know you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you? What's your problem? Are you a wild animal?”
“Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o.”
“You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping! I am so proud of you.”
“My, I've never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, [Betty Lou!]”
“It's handcrafted and almost 100 years old.”
“Come on, hurry up, Slowpoke.”
“What's that stench? It's fantastic!”
“One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.”
“Did Christmas change or just me?"
“First floor, factory rejects.”
“But we did our worst. And that's all that matters.”
“At least I scared the bejeebles out of that little [girl] at the post office. [She]'ll be scarred for life, if we're lucky.”
“Funny she didn't rat on us, though. Must be afraid of reprisals.”
“If you utter so much as one syllable I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!”
“I've got all the company I need right here.”
“I'm an idiot!”
“You're an idiot!”
“Am I just eating because I'm bored?”
“In your own words, please tell me everything you know about [the Grinch.]”
“Hey, honey, our baby is here! He looks just like your boss.”
“It was Christmas Eve, and a strange wind blew that night.”
“Do you want a Christmas cookie?”
“Don't forget, tomorrow is our big Christmas gift exchange.Everyone bring a special gift for a special someone.”
“You don't have a chance with [her].”
“It was a horrible day when they were so cruel to [him]. And I could hardly bear it.”
“And that was the last time we ever saw [him]. The very last time.”
“I hate you.Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!”
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!”
“I may do something drastic.”
“You made that up! It doesn't say that.”
“But the book does say: The cheer-meister is the one who deserves a back slap or a toast. And it goes to the soul at Christmas who needs it most."
“Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.”
“The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”
“You called down the thunder now, get ready for the boom!”
“Gaze into the face of fear!”
“You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you.”
“Run for your life before I kill again!”
“Maybe you need a time-out.”
“Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television.”
“"Holiday Whobie-what-y"?”
“I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?”
“I myself am having some Yuletide doubts.”
“Award? You never mentioned an award!”
“Was anyone emotionally shattered?”
“Come on, a minute ago I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!”
“I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me.”
“Who knows? This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!”
“You can make snow angels later.”
“The nerve of those (Whos). Inviting me down there on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it.”
“4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me… I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I'm booked! If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”
“It's not a dress, it's a kilt! Sicko!”
“This is ridiculous. If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going! That's it, I'm not going.”
“Ohh, ahh, mmm… That's it, I'm not going.”
“[He] isn't here. What? [He] didn't show? Who could have predicted this?
“All right. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there.”
“But what if it's a cruel prank? What if it's a cash bar? How dare they!”
“All right, I'll go. But I'll be fashionably late.”
“All right. I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that!”
“Come on, while I'm young!”
“But first, a little family reunion.”
“Are you two still living?”
“Sweater? What are you talkin' about? No, I can't! I can't do that!”
“No. I can't do it, honestly. I'm not ready. It's too much, too soon!”
“I've got a lawyer. There'll be hell to pay!”
“Look at the time. I really should be getting back.”
“Bring it on! Is that all you got? Is that all you got? Come on!”
“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about!”
“Look, I don't want to make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid!”
“There is, however one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful. Mistletoe.”
“Burn, baby! Burn!”
“Evening, folks. Mind if I ride along? You might want to scooch over.”
“You fellas all right? How about a nice hat?”
“I'm hurt, [Lou]. I'm hurt, and I don't hurt easily.”
“But you and your family.... I'm so disappointed.”
“I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas.”
“Suffering snorkelblatz! They're relentless!”
“Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme!”
“I must stop this whole thing. Why for year after year I've put up with it now.”
“Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas? Wrong-o!”
“If you're not going to help me then you might as well…”
“You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel.”
“Just face the music, you're a monster.”
“Your heart's an empty hole.”
“I asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths. Stay focused!”
“Air bag is a little slow. But that's what these tests are for!”
“Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!”
“Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.”
“No, forget that part. We'll improvise.”
“Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial.”
“We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!”
“[Mommy], tell it to stop!”
“Almost lost my cool there.”
“It's Santa! Go right back to sleep.”
“[He]'s planning a double-twisting interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty.”
“Blasted water weight! Goes right to my hips.”
“Okay, fellas. Show time.”
“[Mr. Santa], what are you doing with our tree?”
“[Santa], what's Christmas really about?”
“I know [he]'s mean and hairy and smelly. [His] hands might be cold and clammy. But I think [he]'s actually kind of sweet.”
“Nice kid. Bad judge of character.”
“Clearance sale. Everything must go.”
“That wasn't so bad, was it, [Max]?”
“What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!”
“I wonder who could have done this.”
“But did anyone listen to me? No.”
“[Cindy], I hope you're very proud of what you've done.”
“You're glad. You're glad everything is gone. You're glad that [the Grinch] virtually wrecked.... No, not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that what I'm hearing?”
“You can't hurt Christmas, [Mr. Mayor], because it isn't about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights. That's what [Cindy]'s been trying to tell everyone! And me. [She]'s been trying to tell me.”
“What's wrong with you? This is a child!”
“[She]'s my child. And she happens to be right, by the way.”
“I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family!”
“Now for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness! The crescendo of my odious opus! The wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears!”
“Somehow or other, it came Just the same!”
“How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
“Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
“Help me! I'm feeling!”
“What's happening to me? I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking?”
“All right, that's enough! Knock it off! beat it! Get out of here! One step at a time!
“Wait! This can't happen! It shouldn't! It couldn't! It mustn't! It wouldn't! Not now, not then, not ever again!”
“What are you doing up there!?”
“I came to see you. No one should be alone on Christmas.”
“I got you, [Cindy Lou]!”
“Are you kiddin'? The sun is bright and the powder's bitchin'!”
“Now scoot over! It's my turn to drive!”
“Now you listen to me, [young] [lady]! Even if we're horribly mangled there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.”
“By the way, these lights match your outfit perfectly.”
“This could be more difficult to negotiate.”
“Out of the way! I have no insurance!”
“Run for your lives! Watch out, I can't stop!”
“Aren't you gonna cuff me? Put me in a choke hold? Blind me with pepper spray?”
“Sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.”
“Cheer up, dude. It's Christmas.”
“There's nothin' like the holidays.”
“Too late! That'll be mine.”
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kipscorner · 2 years
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- THIS IS A LONG POST! (So, remember to tag it appropriately for long posts so people can blacklist. Or have the feature either in settings or xkit? with the long post trimming so your dash isn’t taken up by this super-totally-wicked meme!) - Feel free to change pronouns to match  - Thank you for reblogging and happy writing! <3
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“So, (alias)...do you have a secret identity?”
“Every superhero has a secret identity. I don't know a single one who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?”
“I feel like the maid. ''I just cleaned up this mess. Can we keep it clean for ten minutes?''
“Settle down? Are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs!”
“What the...? Who are you supposed to be?”
“Look, I've been nice, I've stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me but this is…”
“A simple thank you will suffice.”
“Well, I think you need to be more...flexible.”
“I think you broke something.”
“With counselling, I think you'll come to forgive me.”
“I work alone.”
“Will you just...? I'm trying to help! Stop!”
“You're late. When you asked me if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten. I thought it was playful banter.”
“Hey, come on. We're superheroes. What could happen?”
“Hey, I saved your life!”
“I can't pay for this.”
“I'm calling to celebrate a momentous occasion. We're now officially moved in!”
“Shhh! [shouting] I'm sorry, (pronoun)! I know you're upset! [whispering] Pretend to be upset.”
“You saw (pronoun) do this?”
“Coincidence? I think not!”
“You're letting (pronoun) go again? (pronoun)’s guilty! You can see it on (pronoun) smug little face. Guilty, I say, guilty!”
“You always say, ''Do your best.'' But you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?”
“Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we just gotta be like everybody else.”
“You're making weird faces again.”
“You make weird faces, honey.”
“(name), you have something you wanna tell your father about school?”
“(Name) got sent to the office again.”
“The car? What happened to the car?”
“You've hardly touched your food.”
“Well, it is leftover night. We have steak, pasta. What are you hungry for?”
“Stop running in the house. Sit down!”
“Do something! Don't just stand there! I need you to intervene!”
“Normal? What do you know about normal? What does anyone in this family know about normal? We act normal, (relationship). I wanna be normal!”
“He starts monologuing! He starts like this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to him. How inevitable my defeat is, how the world will soon be his! Yada, yada, yada.”
“Want to catch a robber?”
“It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, (Name)!”
“All right! Stay right on my tail! This is gonna get hot!”
“We look like bad guys! Incompetent bad guys!”
“That was way too close. We are not doing that again.”
“I assumed you'd be back later. lf you came back at all...you'd be ''back later''.
“You know how I feel about that, (Name). Darn you! We can't blow cover again!”
“-But this, our family, is what's happening now, (Name). And you are missing this!”
“I will not be made the enemy here! You know why we can't do that.”
“This is not about you!”
“Did I do something illegal?”
“That man out there, he needs help.”
“Someone's always in trouble.”
Yeah. Every time you say those words, it means a month and a half of trouble for me, (Name). It means hundreds of thousands of taxpayer's dollars.”
“We can't keep doing this, (Name)!”
“Well, what are you waiting for?”
“My name is (Name). We have something in common. According to the government, neither of us exist.”
“You are one distracted (pronoun).”
“You want me to shut it down without completely destroying it.”
“I do usually make it a point to know who I'm working for.”
“He prefers a certain amount of anonymity. Surely, you of all people understand that.”
“(Third party pronoun)'s attracted to power. So am I. It's a weakness we share.”
“I prefer to think of it as misunderstood.”
“Get back to work! Go check the electric fence or something! What is it? Who are you? What do you want?”
“Yes, things are going quite well. Quite well. My God, no complaints. But, you know, it is not the same. Not the same at all.”
“Feh! I used to design for Gods!”
“You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it! Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now?”
“I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.”
“No capes!”
“We have a new assignment for you. How soon can you get here?”
“Thanks, sweetie. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Darling! It's been such a long time after all these years! So long!”
“It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone. Especially your heroes.”
“See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works.”
“You sly dog! You got me monologuing. I can't believe it!”
“I gotta tell you I have no idea what you're talking about. I just…”
“So, you don't know where (third party pronoun) is. Would you like to find out?”
“I am such an idiot. I let this happen, you know.”
“My God! Pull yourself together!”
“Go! Confront the problem! Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.”
“Oh, please, honey. I'm on the phone…”
“You're not coming! And I've gotta pack!”
“I didn't know about the homing device.”
“And now a government plane is requesting permission to land here! Who did you contact?!”
“India golf niner-niner checking in. VFR on top. Over.”
“Yes, (familial relationship/name), I'm completely stupid. Do you think I'm totally irresponsible? Thanks a lot!”
“India Golf niner-niner transmitting in the blind guard. Disengage! Repeat, disengage!”
“No! Call off the missiles. I'll do anything!”
“Friendlies at two-zero miles south-southwest of your position. Angels 10. Track east. Disengage!”
“I know what I said! Listen to what I'm saying now!”
“Mayday, mayday! India Golf niner-niner is buddy-spiked! Abort! Abort! There are children aboard, say again, there are children aboard!”
“Everybody calm down. Now, I'll tell you what we're not gonna do. We're not gonna panic, we're not gonna--look out!”
“We survived but we're dead!”
“Ah, you'll get over it. I seem to recall you prefer to ''work alone''. [evil laughter]”
“Release me...now!”
“That sounds a little dark for you. Well, go ahead.”
“I knew you couldn't do it. Even when you have nothing to lose. You're weak.”
“You want to go toward the people that tried to kill us?”
“I expect you to trust me.”
“I know what I said! [sighs] Remember the bad guys on those shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys are not like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you're children. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do not give them that chance.”
“Stay hidden. Keep each other safe. I'll be back by morning.”
“It isn't your fault. It wasn't fair for me to suddenly ask so much of you.”
“Next time you gamble, bet your own life!”
“Why are you here? How can you possibly bring me lower? What more can you take away from me?”
“Let go of me! Let go, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep!”
“Now our kids are in danger?!”
“You didn't want me to worry? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle!”
“You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive.”
“I thought I'd never see you again.”
“You married (third party name)? Whoa! And got busy!”
“I saw an aircraft hangar on my way in. Straight ahead, I think.”
“Where's my supersuit?”
“Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derrin'-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!”
“The public is in danger!”
“''Greater good''? I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”
“Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in.”
“And I'm telling you not a chance. You're my (familial relationship). I'm with you for better or worse.”
“What is this to you? Playtime?”
“I can't lose you again! I can't. Not again. I'm not... strong enough.”
“It's coming back!”
“We're not going anywhere!”
“Everybody duck!”
“Hey, did you see that? Eh? That's the way to do it. That's old school.”
“Does this mean we can come out of hiding?”
“Hey, you're wearing your hair back?”
“Thanks, (familial relationship).”
“That was so cool when you threw that car!”
“(Name)'s still fine, but I'm getting really weirded out! When are you coming back?”
“I love our family.”
“I'm not fine, (name)! Put that down! Stop it! You need to call me. I need help, (name)!”
“Replacement? I didn't call a replacement.”
“Oh, don't worry, I'll be a good mentor. Supportive, encouraging. Everything you weren't.”
“He's getting away, (Name)! We have to do something! We have to do something now!”
“Throw me… (Name), throw me!”
“Look at (familial relationship), honey. Don't look down. (familial relationship)’s got you. Everything is all right.”
“Does this mean we have to move again?”
“I feel different. Is different okay?”
“Do you think maybe...[stammering]...you and I...you know…”
“Shh. I like movies. I'll buy the popcorn. Okay?”
“(Name), I'm so proud of you.”
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kipscorner · 2 years
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CALL ME KEVIN SENTENCE STARTERS: “TURG”  - Feel free to change the things in [ ] to match - Thank you for reblogging / using and happy writing! <3 [Video Link] TW / CW: Swearing / Cursing.
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“Good [man], [Receiver]!”  “Am I the Turg?” “I mean, there’s no chance of me winning. My nose is blocking my eyesight.” “Turg smart. Turg good… That’s about it.” “Who’s drivin’ this fuckin’ monster truck next to me?” “This game’s too complicated.” “Thank you! I wish you told me that two minutes sooner.” “You know what? I’m just gonna have a nice time this time- FUCK!” “[Name’s] just happy to be involved.” “You know what, [Receiver]? Our Job right now is just to just be funny, because we’re never gonna win.” “Hold it down!” “Oh my god! [He] messed it up again!” “Now I’m back here next to [name]! Do you know how insulting that is?” “[Receiver] come back to [Sender]. [Sender] won’t make fun of you. Come back!” “Use it now! Use it on [third party]!” “Who did it hit?” “[Receiver], I just wanna say “God bless you!” “Ahh, he’s so handsome!” “No! I’m lookin at it! Not beautiful!” “Wave to the crowd, [Receiver]! They love you!” “You know what? I don’t think you are sorry!” “For fuck sake, [Receiver]! How many times do we have to tell ya how to do it, [Receiver]!?” “I don’t think it will ever be relevant to me? But how do I throw things backwards?” “Just, just appreciate the silence. For a brief minute.” “Everyone loves an underdog!” “We’re all cavemen here.” “I’m secretly your father, [receiver]!” “I’m gonna kill you! How dare you!” “At least [third party] was worse.” “I just can’t bring myself to tolerate you.” “Oh! You assumptious little shit!” “Quite a few Irishmen. Yeah, you gotta be more specific.” “Turg is such a traditional Irish name.” “I motivate myself by chanting “Turg” now.” “Social distancing is easy when no one likes you.” “Thank you for having the decency to at least ask. You bought me time!” “Hey! There was no need for that, [Receiver]!” “I’m an asshole. Why did I do that?” “Any human contact would be nice for [third party]” “If you could just break in general, that would be good.” “It’s not even bullshit either! [He’s] just genuinely better at it than us right now.” “There’s one thing about [name].  [He’s] consistent.” “Nobody move… is that the agreement?” “You said nobody move!” “You gotta be better [receiver]!” “I did it! You guys are so shit!” “Where were you when Turg won?”
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kipscorner · 2 years
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- THIS IS A LONG POST! (feel free to tag ‘long post tw’ or something of the sort so it doesn’t clutter the dash and people can filter it out if they so wish~!)  - Feel free to change pronouns to match - Thank you for reblogging and happy writing! <3
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“Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes!”
“Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going.”
“Don't you want to tell me about your trip?”
“Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.”
“You're bothering me.”
“Royal ball? Can I come?”
“But they're my parents, [Name]. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.”
“[exasperated sigh] So that's it. You won't come?”
“Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final!”
“Are we there yet?”
“[exasperated sigh] For five minutes...Could you not be yourself...FOR FIVE MINUTES!”
“you still think this was a good idea?”
“[softly] Who on earth are they?”
“That's not little! That's a really big problem!”
“Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it.”
“It's easy to see where [Name] gets [pronoun] good looks from.”
“I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.”
“It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?”
“I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be…”
“Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, [Name]?”
“That is, assuming you don't eat your own young!”
“You wouldn't understand. You're not her [Familial relationship]!”
“It's so nice to have the family together for dinner.”
“No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway.”
“Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy…”
“You could've at least tried to get along with my [Familial relationship].”
“Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?”
“And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change.”
“I think, [Name], you're taking this a little too personally.”
“Oh, stop being such a drama king.”
“You force me to do something I really don't want to do.”
“We made a deal, [Name], and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.”
“Who dares enter my room?”
“But for this, I charge a great deal of money.”
“Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.”
“I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier.”
“I don't know what came over me.
“Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over…”
“We passed that three times already!”
“Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help.”
“Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.”
“I just... I just wish I could make [pronoun] happy.”
“Join the club. We've got jackets.”
“I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.”
“Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning.”
“You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon.”
“Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you.”
“[Name] Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!”
“We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.”
“Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?”
“We don't even have dental.”
“They don't even have dental.”
“You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses!”
“Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch.”
“What? Where is he? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands!”
“I do believe we can make this work to our advantage.”
“See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again!”
“You still look like an ass to me.”
“It's just the rain, [Name].”
“Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and [third party]’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”
“Who are you calling donkey?”
“Pick me! I'll be your true love!”
“And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes.”
“First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes.”
“You want to dance, pretty boy?”
“I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think?”
“Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.”
“But look at me. Look what I've done for her.”
“If you really love her... you'll let her go.”
“I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you.”
“shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better.”
“Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?”
“That's not mine!”
“Ah. I thought I might find you here.”
“Change? [Pronoun]'s completely lost [pronouns] mind!”
“But it's the old one I fell in love with, [Familial relation]. I'd give anything to have [pronoun] back.”
“You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”
“Say something crazy like "I'm wearing ladies'/mens’ underwear!"
Pardon me, would you mind letting me go?”
“Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around!”
“we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.”
“No, you great stupid pastry!”
“Is that glitter on your lips?”
“Mmm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste?”
“Will you honor me with a dance?”
“[Name], my dearest, if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises.”
“Let's crash this party!”
“Brace yourselves!”
“Watch out!”
“[whistles] Come on!”
“[sobbing] He needs me! Let me go!”
“Go! Go! Your [pronoun/relation] needs you! Go!”
“Hey, you! Back away from my [familial relation]!
“I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.”
“[giggles] Now, where were we?”
“Baby, where you been?”
“What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious?”
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kipscorner · 2 years
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|| IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!
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Hello Rangers allies and potential villains!  Please give this a like and or reblog if you HAVE Power Ranger muses OR you would LIKE TO INTERACT with Power Ranger muses in potential crossovers. This is for ALL seasons of SUPER SENTAI & POWER RANGERS (show and comic) PR is canonically part of Toei, Saban, DC, Marvel, Disney, Nickelodeon, etc. universes. The fandom is small, and we are struggling to find others who are willing to write with Ranger muses. So please help us out, join us if you like! And spread this post around so we can find one another and save the world! 
72 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 3 years
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This is a brand new sentence starter pack for HBO & Joss.Whedon’s THE.NEVERS.
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|| THE SENTENCES HAVE BEEN PLACED UNDER ‘KEEP READING’ BECAUSE THIS IS A VERY LONG POST! And I don’t want to overrun everyone’s dash with my shenanigans. However it does contain some amazing sentences, so do take a peek! ||  
- Feel free to change sentences to see fit. - This is from SEASON 1A (Episodes 1-6) - anything in () feel free to delete or change? - Some words I have placed a “.” in the middle to try and... throw off tumblr’s algorithm. CONTAINS COURSE LANGUAGE, TALK OF VIOLENCE, MENTAL HEALTH AND ADULT THEMES. Thank you for using and happy writing! <3
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EPISODE 1;; “TOUCHED”
 “You look very fine. “
“I don’t suppose you know how this all works out.“
“I think I preferred when people just had shotguns!”
“We can’t outrun them!”
“Women are being attacked, accused of witchcraft, or some island voodoo, and...”
“The blade is in, (gentlemen). We need to know whose hand is on the hilt.”
“I don’t envy you, this job.”
“You can play the righteous man, but even you answer to someone.“
“Yeah? She say that lately? On a visit, maybe, that we all missed?”
“I imagine she could use a cup of tea.“
“We knew people would come down on us the more we were thriving.“
“I could rig up a few surprises, as well. Nothing lethal, but very discouraging.“
“It’s about confidence. As my mum used to say, if you can look a man in the eye, you can stab him in it.”
“Did I keep you waiting? I’m at odds with time.”
“what has you so ruffled?”
“Do you think they might be hideous?”
“Well, whatever they are, flirt with the ugly one. It creates an unexpected balance.”
“I don’t know how to flirt.”
“You don’t mind when people are odd. It’s how we’re friends.”
“S.ex (club) is just…That’s just flirting on a much scarier level.”
“These are my terms.”
“I like watching you work. It’s like you’re conducting.”
“Nothing about me not being a freak?”
“Oh, I wasn’t planning to breathe. I think it’s considered rude.”
“You called me out, so I’d be forced to help you. And now you’ve told me that to my face. I’m genuinely searching for a way that this spins out… that I don’t kill you.”
“Well, so what’s wrong with you?”
“So I shouldn’t ask how I’m going to die?”
“No, it’s the eyes. Assessing every threat.”
“He came to us all, and you all turned your backs on Him. You lied. You said He never!” 
“ Take the fucking champagne, (Name.)”
“I know. Trouble makes you troublesome. But nothing sets you off like good fortune.“
EPISODE 2;; “EXPOSURE”
“You promised not to say anything.”
“These men have been horrid.”
“You’re the one likes knocking suspects about. Even though they’s as innocent as Christmas. What do they do to set you off?”
“I can assure you, she is nothing like me. She’s wonderful.”
“How are you not wonderful?”
“Right now, every one of us… Of you… is suspect.”
“I have people looking. I’d prefer to be one of them.“
“It’s society. Doing nothing is how we panic.“
“Horror and fascination go arm in arm.”
“The mission is to amuse. Not alarm. I know we’ll make a good impression. I have every faith.”
“There we go. Right. Let me look at you.”
“Oh, fuck, no. I can’t remember a word.”
“What, you, you, you think I’d tell you that? Just trot out me personal affairs, yeah?“
“The fuck did she just do to me?”
“In terms of arson, it’s fairly crucial.”
“I don’t mind crazy, boss. I can’t work with stupid.“
“I am a monster.”
“How does it feel? To fly?”
“Mostly I feel calm. I know where I am in a fight. It’s one of the few times I do.”
“I’ve had more experience with violence than I would have liked.”
“I brought them here to help them. To prove that (the Touched) are not a threat. Yet you seem determined to prove that they are!”
“You cannot complete a sentence without exposing yourself!”
“(exhales) You always assume the worst of everybody.”
“I enjoyed our conversation, but, um… I’m neglecting my real friends, so… excuse me.”
“You could have just put up signs.”
“This is the finest party I’ve been to all day.”
“Oh, is she your new best friend? Is she your new best friend!?”
“This riddle-me shit. It’s beneath you.”
“I mean, well, you know, “A friend’s the one you trust to trust you back.”
“Oh, God, I didn’t know what happened to you. I thought…“
“What happened? You fed me to them. I woke up every morning in their teeth that chewed me. Cut me. Ripped me into tiny bits and then put me back and then ground me up and then put me back. And then two whole years of screaming while you dined on beef and ground it up and never cared and never looked. You said you were my friend!”
“You nearly died, you great idiot!”
“I missed the vital organs, silly.”
“Either you don’t know anatomy, or you don’t know how to aim.”
“No. There’s loads I’ll need explained, but let’s just be alive for awhile.”
“ I’m sorry for your terrible day.”
EPISODE 3;; “IGNITION”
“He decides to argue the case, or send anyone else to, there’s not a shadow he can hide in.”
“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you.”
“How in fuck’s name did that girl sneak up on me?”
“You nearly killed my best friend, and you saved my life.”
“My natural instinct is to burn things down.”
“You have enemies you don’t know about yet.”
“We have the best jobs.”
“I still hardly remember her. Makes it worse, somehow.”
“That’s not a difficult choice. That’s just reckless.”
“(She’s) a killer, for Christ’s sake.”
“I’m a killer.”
“That’s a terrible fate to wish on a friend.”
“Can I not be made the villain of the piece?”
“I doubt a little fun will do anything but help.”
“You’re surprisingly sprightly this morning.”
“You always were a lightweight.”
“You don’t have to give me a status report every time you see me.”
“You’re keeping secrets.”
“Every woman keeps secrets.”
“Three years ago, I woke up knowing things that I shouldn’t, and was declared insane. Which for a time, I thought I was. So, yes, I keep secrets.”
“I also drink when I shouldn’t, fight when I needn’t, and fuck men whose names I do not learn...”
“I get nervous in crowds.”
“I see things that aren’t there.”
“When I meet someone, the first thing I think of is how to kill them.”
“I do have some good qualities. (chuckles softly)”
“I’m just not sure I can be involved with this.”
“There are things being done here that are illegal. And quite, quite possibly immoral.”
“We didn’t break any laws. That I know of.”
“I-I can’t do all this all by myself.“
“Ah, I never lie. I never boast. (chuckles)”
“If you’re frettin’ on that, you two must be… dear friends.”
“Do you want to show me the wound?”
“Sometimes I think you want to get caught.”
“One day, you’re gonna walk into a place that don’t think you’re charming.”
“I, uh… I, um, didn’t mean for you to rush over. I don’t want to waste your time.”
“You’re a good (man). But there’s a part of you that you hate.”
“Except that… I will never hate you.”
“You’ll always be the (man) that I call when there’s trouble, and when there’s not trouble, I guess.“
EPISODE 4;; “UNDERTAKING”
“I know your loss is greater than any of us can even…”
“A kiss for a pint. That was the deal.”
“How are we ever gonna see justice if we’re not a part of justice?”
“Have you not finished discussing my faults?”
“Lot of people don’t like you, I’m told.”
(Imitating) “I’m so tough and mean, and I hate sentiment. And also people. And myself.”
“You know better than anyone what pain does when you don’t make time for it.”
“I was left here, completely alone, with nothing but a mission I was never actually given. No orders, no objectives…They left me here and they fucked right off. Maybe they died. Who cares? I’m here…”
“There’s no shortage of people who hate us. “
“Sometimes pretending you feel good makes you feel better. Trust me.”
“And you need to fuck off. Please.”
“It’s no secret that you loathe me.”
“Well, you can sneak out for a kiss anytime, but not when I need your help?”
“I know very well that I’m not welcome here.”
“I was just abominably rude. And I’ve barely slept since.“
“Tell me just anything that I can do to make amends.”
“Remember my transgressions, so that I may re-earn your trust honestly, over time.”
“I suspect you’ve had all the condolences you have room for, so may I offer you a sherry?”
“So, he confessed without confessing. It was honestly impressive.”
“ Oh, please tell me we’re not havin’ this talk again.”
“And I will not believe that was her favorite dress.”
“I want everyone to stop lying. Can you see to that?”
“You don’t know fuck about the world.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I don’t know what happened.”
“Did you do this? Did you make this nightmare?”
“You are the strangest person I’ve ever met. It’s why you’re the one I trust.”
“Then who? Who do we need to find?“
EPISODE 5;; “HANGED”
“Are you planning a rebellion?”
“Nothing’s happened the way it should’ve. I...”
“We’re taking a terrible risk.”
“And now everyone’s comfortable with me being here, except around the silver, and trinkets, purses, keepsakes...”
“The less (she’s) heard from, the better chance we’ve got of controlling this fucking circus.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Slight ache behind the eyes.”
“Don’t apologize for me. How dare you!”
“Are you fucking playing with me?”
“It’s like looking in a mirror. How do I make this go away?“
“You should come. Get in the dirt, smell the blood. Then you’ll know what’s on your hands.”
“why did you take a job you hate?”
“I-I didn’t even know you were bathing!” 
“I s-should make more noise when I come in.”
“It’s like we’re being tested, but it’s that dream where the test’s over, and you’ve not found your pencils.”
“But you’re telling me the truth?”
“I would never betray your trust.”
“Well, is my naked frame a source of dullness then?”
“We have a common enemy. Someone, some group, is rewriting the rules of reality. If we don’t find a way to control it…”
“Now was that so fuckin’ hard to say?”
“I would take (her) if I knew it was safe.”
“I mean, forgiveness still exists in the world, doesn’t it?”
“It’s just, I always… I always say that I won’t make weapons. But most of my gimcracks, they could kill someone in the wrong circumstances.”
“I know you’re not comin’, (Name). I’d feel better if you did, but…”
“There are things you can’t come back from.”
“The future of the world depends on what I’m doing. The future of the world depends on the present.”
“I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know how it got this far or what I’m doing next. I know what I’m not doing. I’m not mistaking my pain for an idea.”
“I have practiced saying this, and I feel sweaty!”
“I can’t compel anyone to stay with me, but that’s… that’s mental. Don’t do that.”
“Developed a taste for blood, have you?”
“She didn’t want to be rescued.”
EPISODE 6;; “TRUE” 
“Give up your name!”
“We kill you all, it’s gon’ be slow. Or maybe we could talk about the prize that brought us all here in the first place.”
“You got any surprises waiting in here?”
“We are taking shelter here.”
“I can’t give you pheen.”
“... Also, there’s a bullet in my leg.”
“You get temporals? Flashbacks?”
“How many of them are still alive?”
“ Slow. And quiet. You don’t wanna wake this thing up.”
“That’s blood. That’s human blood.”
“It’s basic torture protocol. You always do the family first.”
“There’s still time. Nobody has to die.”
“Whatever you want. Whatever’s here that’s gonna make you step up and give a shit. We’ve got a great selection. Name your poison.“
“Can you do one thing for me? Can you just hope that we make it right?”
“I’m not afraid to fight, if that’s what it takes. But it has to be for a purpose. It has to matter.“
“I’ve done things that you can’t imagine.“
“I don’t understand. They… They gave up.“
“Believe me, okay? I believe there’s hope. Please hope.“
“You could have a posh tea room.”
“No, it’s just a treat for when I have a family.”
“You’ve gotta be thinking of your future, (Name). Your real future. Not the one that’s in your head.”
“Well, God makes His plans, so here we are.”
“I brought you wedding cake.”
“But he recognized me. Can you imagine?“
“You have been here enough now to know the rules.”
“What are the fucking rules? ‘Cause this “Christmas Carol” crap is so specific to my three-term focus.”
“Yeah. That’s a straight play. You can just gift your sacred name, ’cause you’re not a sim. You’re from 18-fuckity-12.”
“You’re not mean like the others. We become friends. We tell each other secrets.“
“I should be dead. Why aren’t I dead?“
“I believe you. I want to know exactly how it went.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve been in worse.”
“Should I trust you? Do you think I’m insane?“
“There’s no one here to guide us. To say here’s what needs to change. Or… What?“
“Fuck you. No, I’m–No, I… Fuck you. I was a mistake. A mean joke.“
“I did my time! I spent a lifetime fighting and it didn’t make any…”
“I got world-class tits, but I can’t see over a chair.“
“...Then you might not want to say “fuck” quite so often.”
“I’ve been hearing about you two.”
“They tell me that you can see the future.”
“Once, I smelled oat cakes, and we had them that night. I don’t like to think about it too much.”
“I lied. Because, well, she wouldn’t stop crying, and…Well, she never let it go, and I couldn’t tell her that I…”
“Now remember, this is not what this is for.”
“They did find a cache of weapons under the floorboards beneath your bed, during your hearing.”
“Oh, the place. It’s dreary as fuck. And it’s definitely filled with the angry ghosts of murdered children.”
“But you might actually be the worst person for this job.”
“I told everyone you were going to save them.”
“What a team, you and me, except no you. No wisdom. No plan.“
“I left my heart to come talk to you!”
“Did my… wreck of a brain cause all this shit?”
“Who is this? Who the fuck am I?”
“Are you upset that I…Are you upset that I told you?“
“It is upsetting. The future being so grim for everyone. But we’ll just change it all up.“
“I’m glad you tried. It was the right call.“
“It’s time to tell them. Everything.”
“The fight that’s coming. Feels right. It’s coming soon.”
“Fuckin’ prototype.”
19 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 3 years
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Headernotes:
- THIS IS A LONG POST! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove - Feel free to change pronouns to match - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
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“(Name), can you explain again what we're doing?”
We're kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...to embrace the majesty of the winter landscape...and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“We're not driving all the way here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?”
“Some jackass is riding my tail.”
“(Name)! Don't provoke them!”
“Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.”
“Eat my road grit, liver lips!”
“(Name), stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!”
“Will you just take it easy, (Name)? I'm in complete control.”
“(Name), we're stuck under a truck!”
“Do you think I don't know that?”
“For Christ sake, I didn't do this on purpose!” 
“My toes are numb.”
“I can't feel my leg.”
“(Name), that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.”
“It's not going in our yard, (Name). It's going in our living room.”
“She'll see it later, (Name). Her eyes are frozen.”
“Hey, (Name)! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?”
“You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that.”
“I wasn't talking to you.”
“It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.”
“Did I tell you I talked to my mother?”
“They've decided they're coming for Christmas too.”
“You're forgetting how difficult it's gonna be having everybody in the house.”
“(Name), they're family. They're not strangers off the street.”
“Yeah. And about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs. And your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip.”
“I want to have Christmas here in our house. It means a lot to me. All my life I've wanted to have a big family Christmas.”
“The question is, what will you do with that bonus? Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.”
“Oh, my God, you're putting in a pool.”
“Layman's terms. None of that inside bullshit jargon nobody understands.”
“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.Happy Hanukkah.”
“Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if stores were less hooter--Hotter than they are.”
“You have your coat on.”
“There is a nip in the air though.”
“Can I take something out for you?”
“'Tis the season to be merry.”
“Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas!”
“Look at how big you've gotten!”
“They're not sleeping in my room. I'm gonna go crazy.”
“We're gonna have the best-looking house in town.”
“Come on, unravel these. You have to check every bulb. Got a little knot here. You work on that. I'll get the other box.”
“Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?”
“We're all making sacrifices, (Name).”
“Well, I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.”
“And why is the carpet all wet, (Name)?”
I don't know, (Name)!”
“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard, staring at the house in my pajamas.”
“Talk about pissing your money away.”
“Let's get in where it's warm.”
“Now, look, if you need any help...give me a holler. I'll be asleep.”
“Where the hell is that cold coming from?”
“I want to take off these clothes, sit with a glass of wine and kiss your body.”
“Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?”
“Do you honestly think I would check thousands of lights if the extension cord wasn't plugged in?”
“You deserve a home like this to spend Christmas in.”
“You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.”
“I hope this adds to your enjoyment of the holidays.”
“You got a kiss for me?”
“Better take a rain check on that. (pronouns) got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet.”
“We named him that because he's got this sinus condition.”
“You pet him and he'll love you till the day you die.”
“If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised then I am right now.”
“After that long drive, we could use a little private time together.”
“(Name), help me get some hot chocolate. It's cold.”
“A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning…”
“It's a crying shame the older kids couldn't make it.”
“She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook.”
“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“Oh, that there? That's an RV.”
“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I wait.”
“We're gonna fly down the hill with this stuff.”
“You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time (Name) revved up the microwave...I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour or so.”
“Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh?”
“What are you doing up, sweetheart?”
“You shouldn't use that word.”
“I don't think he should be nervous and you shouldn't be either. Because if you're good, Santa knows it. If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and you believe in your...Your dad. If you've been good all year round, Santa is gonna bring you something.”
“Well, I happen to know for a fact that Santa Claus is real. And in the next couple of days… somehow I'm gonna prove it to you.”
“It's good you came to stay with us.”
“I think you'd better go back to bed now.”
“Aren't you having any breakfast?”
“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air.
And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”
“It's a sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match near it.”
“Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!”
“In seven years he couldn't find a job?”
“(Name) and I want to help you give the kids a nice Christmas.”
“This isn't charity. It's family.”
“If you don't tell me what they want, I'll go out and get it on my own.”
“Is your house on fire, (Name)?”
“No, those are Christmas lights.”
“Don't throw me down, (Name).”
“Oh, that was fun. I love riding in cars.”
“Oh, dear. Did I break wind?”
“You shouldn't have brought presents.”
“This box is meowing.”
“(Name)? (pronoun) passed away 30 years ago.”
“They want you to say grace. The blessing!”
“I told you we put it in too early.”
“I heard on the news that a pilot spotted Santa's sled on its way from New York.”
“Is there anything else I can do for you, (Name)?”
“If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.”
“Look what you've done to my tree!”
“It was an ugly tree, anyway.”
“I'm sorry if I've been a little short with everyone lately.”
“...I didn't have enough in my account to cover the check.”
“I can't swim, (Name).”
“(Name), that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”
“If this isn't the biggest punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!”
“I wanna look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”
“He's got that crazed look in his eye.”
“Turn that thing off and get in the house!”
“Aren't you a bit sorry we didn't get a Christmas tree?”
“Well, where you gonna find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve?”
“Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk?”
“I didn't go berserk. I simply solved a problem.”
“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“I'm gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.”
“I'm going in with him.”
“You just march right over there and slug that creep in the face.”
“I can't just attack someone.”
“Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm
holiday emergency here.”
“We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye.”
“And when Santa squeezes his ass down that chimney tonight he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.”
“Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, (Name). We're at the threshold of hell!”
“You losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse.”
“Are you gonna recite The Night Before Christmas?”
“No. It's your house. It's your Christmas.”
“You about ready to do some kissing?”
“I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.”
“I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this.”
“If you wanna come in, you are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!”
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
“I did something I shouldn't have, and these people called me on it.”
“It's Santa Claus!”
“She thinks she sees Santa.”
“No, it's the Christmas star. And that's all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See, kids...it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.”
“That ain't the frigging Christmas star. It's a light on the sewage treatment plant.”
“Merry Christmas, honey.”
111 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
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HEADERNOTES;;
Previously posted here (Do not reblog my old one. Thanks. <3) Feel free to change pronouns and such to match. Thank you for reblogging and or using!
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"Like that's ever gonna happen!"
"Whoa! Hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?"
"This is the part where you run away."
"Oh really? You and what army?"
"Are you talking to... me?"
"Doesn't that bother you?"
"I like that boulder... that is a nice boulder."
"Please! I don't want to go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!"
"Oh this is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!"
"What a lovely bed."
"What do I have to do to get a little privacy!!!"
"Run, run, run, as fast as you can!"
"You're a monster!"
"Technically... you're not a king."
"Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?"
"It's quiet... too quiet. Where is everybody?"
"That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"The chair! Give him the chair!"
"What kind of quest?"
"Cakes! Everybody loves cakes!"
"No! You dense, irritating, miniature, beast of burden!"
"You know? I think I preferred your humming."
"If it was me, you'd be dead!"
"Oh, You can't tell me you're afraid of heights!"
"Let's have a dance then, shall we?"
"Two things! Shut. Up."
"I read it in a book once."
"You're just reeking of feminine beauty!"
"Wake up!"
"You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?"
"But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!"
"Well I have to save my ass."
"That wasn't in the job description!"
"Lets just say I'm not your type."
"Oh, you were expecting prince charming?"
“Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy."
"Tomorrow? It'll take that long?"
"I said, goodnight!"
"Come on! I was just kidding!"
"Sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?"
"Why don't you want to talk about it?"
"Why do you want to talk about it?"
"Who you trying to keep out?"
"Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me."
"They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone."
"Show her to me!"
"Ah, perfect!"
"Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?"
"You know, you're not exactly what I expected."
"Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry."
"What you're doing is the opposite of help."
"Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?"
"Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea."
"Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?"
"Wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go on in and tell her how you feel."
"Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry."
"Promise you won't tell. Promise!"
"You heard what I said?"
"Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong!"
"Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet."
"Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?"
"Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?"
"Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap!"
"I object!"
"Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me"
"Well, uh, that explains a lot."
"Ugh! It's disgusting!"
"No, let go of me!"
"Get out of my way!"
"I-I love you."
"Really, really" 
122 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
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HEADERNOTES;; 
Feel free to change pronouns and such to match. Thank you for reblogging / using. Merry Christmas!
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"You're, uh, you're probably here about the, Uh, the story."
"I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves."
"Only two weeks left till Christmas!"
"What in the name of Sam hill Is that?"
"I was his/her adopted father."
"Treat every day like Christmas."
"There's room for everyone on the Nice list."
"The best way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear."
"Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus."
"I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins."
"I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water."
"Oh, by the way, don't eat the yellow snow."
"First off, you see gum on The street, leave it there. It's not free candy. Second, There are, like, 30 ray's pizzas. They all claim to be the Original, but the real one' son 11th. And if you see a sign that Says "peep show," That doesn't mean that They're letting you look at presents before Christmas."
"We're gonna go ices skating and... And eat sugar plums."
"Well... he is on the naughty list."
"Does someone need a hug?"
"Santa! San-- uh, nope!"
"[Gasps] Beautiful! Looks like a Christmas tree."
"You're not supposed to be Down here!"
"Why you smiling like that?"
"Santa!!! Oh, my god!!! Santa here?! I know him! I know him!"
"You are very good at decorating that tree."
"I'm just trying to get through the holidays."
"How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?"
"They're kind a pissed about this."
"'Cause if I go, we all go."
" By the way... I think you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world."
"You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa."
"Just who the heck are you, And what is your problem?"
"I thought maybe we could make Gingerbread houses, And eat cookie dough, and go Ice skating, and... And maybe even hold hands."
"He got mad at me."
"You know, it's a little complicated, but it's nothing that we can't handle."
"Is there sugar in syrup?"
"Clearly he has some serious issues. We can't just throw him out in the snow."
"Well, this is really something. I'm usually the one making breakfast."
"I planned out our whole day. First, we'll make snow angels for two hours, and then we'll go ice skating and then we'll eat a whole roll Of Toll-House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then, to finish, we'll snuggle."
"How'd you get this number?"
"You know, we could sit here and point fingers all day."
"So, good news... I saw a dog today."
"I really wanted to see you, and... and I think you're beautiful, and I, um... I feel really warm when I am around you, and, um, my tongue swells up. So... Do you wanna go eat food?"
"You have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card."
"You know, I know I sound like a broken record, but we are buddies. You're my best friend, that's it. You're my best friend."
"Call me elf one more time!"
"Get out of my life! Now!"
"I don't belong anywhere."
"There seems to be a strange man dressed as an elf wandering through central park."
"I didn't mean anything I said back there, not a word."
"You believed in me."
"Christmas spirit is about believing, not seeing."
"Come on, give me your hat and coat."
"I'm getting too old for this job."
"Come here, little one."
59 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
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Headernotes:
- Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove. - Feel free to change pronouns to match. - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
Happy Halloween!
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 “Hey, wait a minute, What about this house?”
“Somebody's coming...”
“(name), I'm 13, okay? I'm practically a grown up, I'm certainly old enough to make my own choices, Right?“
“Is there an age for that?”
“I have my reasons, and I will explain them to you when you're... taller!”
“It's just one night, What is the big deal?”
“Skeletons, witches, vampires...She spends our whole math class drawing ghosts in her notebook!”
“But look at her! You've kept her from a normal childhood, and it's turned her into a wall ornament!”
“You keep us all in this big bubble, How are we supposed to grow up if we can't explore the world, try new stuff and take some risks?”
“(name), I am just trying to protect you.”
“Where did you get to, my little darling?“
“But the important thing is that I'm here now...”
“Oh, and then we'll put up the decorations so we can get this party started!”
“How does all this stuff fit in here?“
“I've always said the movies can teach us about life.”
“You know, these look like the ones from the Egyptian Book of the Dead.”
“You know, ghosts tend to be very depressed creatures.”
“I like being here, I can have a normal life here.”
“Oh, being normal is vastly overrated!” 
“Let's not fight again, I know you're only here for a couple of hours...”
“You can't tell what's in a monster's heart just by looking at 'em, I mean, sometimes, some of the slimiest, raunchiest, ugliest little monsters turn out to be the nicest.”
“Have you cast any spells or taken midnight flights through the sky?“
“I was only trying to do what you should have done long ago.”
“Why, you're only lucky that you have two children that are showing powers at all!“
“You're wrong about why I came here tonight, The fact is, I came to ask for your help.“
“Well, something is wrong at home. Something's happening. Every day, I find another neighbor has changed. Turned hateful, it's frightening. And soon after that, they disappear altogether.“
“You don't really believe all this witch stuff is true, do ya?”
“Right, Now you can see the future, Tell me, what am I gonna have for breakfast?”
“I raise a demon from the underworld, and they say, "Big deal, I saw the same thing on Jerry Springer."
“Well, hello there, I don't believe we've met.”
“Yeah, it's a pretty nice place. Better than a lot of graveyards I've hung out in.“
“You can train me!”
“Two hours there might be two days here, or two weeks, if we're on vacation!“
“Are you gonna use your magic to raise some spirits, have a big sance and call on the forces of darkness?”
“she's completely changed! Her face... She was like a wild animal, And she was fine a couple of hours ago!”
“I have to apologize to you, (name). I didn't take you seriously about this thing at first, I think you've uncovered something very serious.”
“It's much too dangerous for you to be involved with by yourself.”
“Promise me that?”
“I'm friends with some very powerful creatures around here, you know!”
“Magic is really very simple. All you have to do is want something, and then let yourself have it!”
“I'm never talking to you again, you know!”
“I'm so sick of you drinking all this caffeine! You're giving me a headache!“
“You didn't hear about the election?”
“You are the last person I ever expected to see here. It's been a long time, huh?”
“You always did let your magic do the talking, Thank you.”
“You know, I always hoped you'd come back. Now here you are.”
“Oh, and if you marry him, I am not calling him "Dad,"
“I'm not marrying anyone, and this discussion is over.”
“I don't fear him or any creature.”
“Look, if you want to give up your roots ,that's fine, but I don't. And it's not right for you to try to make me.”
“You think your magic is more powerful than mine?”
“There is nothing you can do to stop me!”
“Together we can conquer anything.“
“There's gotta be a ghost around here someplace, Come on!”
“Sure, sure, Make fun of the transparent guy! Just 'cause you can see through us doesn't mean we don't have feelings!”
“Can I get some help over here? Burning up!”
“Hey, what's with the third degree here?”
“You know, Grandma says that spells are stronger when you have more than one witch. You wanna help me?”
“You can celebrate later. Come on, let's get out of here!”
“Well, when it's dark on Halloween, where do you put the candle?”
“You can't be serious. You're not actually thinking of going into that thing!?”
“Follow me!”
“Follow me! and together we will reclaim the Mortal World which is rightfully ours!”
“Look, I made an awful mistake. So let me try and make up for it!”
“You thought you could hide from me?”
“How dare you disobey me?”
“The power of evil is stronger than good!”
“Good going. Looks like you got more than the weird part down.”
“You could've had me.”
“Don't waste your energies!”
“Do you think that your magic is any match for mine?”
“You did a fabulous job, all of you. I'm so proud of you.”
“I'm sorry about the things I said and did. And I'm sorry that I didn't trust you.”
“I never could've done it without you.”
“Hm, Well, then I guess you're just gonna have to come live with us. That is, if you want to.”
“I thought we could continue your studies.”
“See you in the afterlife!”
114 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
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Headernotes! - Feel free to change pronouns/names/etc to match. - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
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“They've owned this shop for 30 years, and they are attempting to set a record.”
“I just did the hair. The hair is perfect.”
“God, why do you hate me?”
“You need a tissue or something?”
“I work in back. I see no smiles.”
“Cue the cheesy inspirational music!”
“There's nothing wrong with makin' people laugh!”
“because every time they make me do this kind of stuff, I have to act like a total goof in order to make it work!”
“Now, you get your goofy butt over here.”
“Oh, come on. This is fun. Right? Isn't this fun?”
“Sweetie? Time to get up.”
“Creepy. Needles. Yuck.”
“I be positive they ain't touchin' me with no needle.”
“Now, get out before they see us together.”
“I'm gonna need a friggin' miracle to get to work on time.”
“when I know something, you'll know something.”
“Don't put that in your mouth.”
“You know what? Nothin' can bother me today. Nothin'”
“Yeah, you'd better keep walkin'.”
“Will you just stop being such a martyr?”
“All right, sweetheart, I know that you're mad. It's completely understandable.”
“I'm not okay with a mediocre life!”
“So is that what you think that we have? A mediocre life?”
“Don't make this about you.”
“About me? How could I make this about me? It's about you! It's always about you!”
“Come on! Let me see a little wrath!”
“The only one around here not doing his job is you!”
“This looks promising.”
“People underestimate the benefit of good old manual labor.There's freedom in it. Some of
“the happiest people in the world go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day.”
“Now, I'm not much for blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh.”
“You've been doing a lot of complaining about me, [name]. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it.”
“Come. Take a closer walk with me.”
“Looking for another can of whoop-ass?”
“I'll tell you what. We'll apologize the day a monkey comes out of my butt.”
“What a coincidence, because that's today.”
“Hey, did that monkey just come out your crack, man?”
“I've never seen the moon that big!”
“I mean, I know I woke up this morning, and I felt like...like my boobs were bigger.”
 “My instinct tells me there's something more.”
“Good work. I'm impressed.”
“Oh, my gosh. [name], he's gonna propose.”
“In other news, the prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France.”
“I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lika do da cha-cha.”
“Stop yelling!”
 “Is this heaven?”
 “What a bunch of whiners.”
“What are you doing in here all alone?”
“That's interesting, 'cause, you know, I never thought... we would ever talk.”
“You might wanna stop touching me.”
“Enjoying your party?”
“Look, would it help if I just said that I was a complete ass?”
“None of this seems right without you.”
“What happened? What the hell happened?”
“We've got a situation here. They're rioting right outside the station.”
“Repent! The end is near! Repent!”
“No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.”
“I suppose you're here to gloat”
“I don't wanna hurt anymore. Please.”
“Help me forget.”
“Please, I don't wanna do this anymore.”
“You have a divine spark. You have the gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world.”
“I want her to be happy. No matter what that means.”
“You're lucky to be alive.”
“Look at her! Isn't she beautiful?”
“Be the miracle.”
50 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
Text
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Headernotes! - Feel free to change pronouns/names/etc to match. - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3 
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“I don’t wear underwear.”
“That’s a little cramped.”
“They stalk every move you make.”
“This is my own little town. I’m the mayor, the prosecutor, the cop, and the executioner.”
“Those people are fucking insane, man.”
“Ready? Aim. Fire!”
“You all right? Stay with me! Stay with me!”
“I am never gonna financially recover from this.”
“The woman is just obsessed with me.”
“How many wives does he have?”
“I don’t fucking care.”
“Are we running a competition? I don’t think so.”
“Hey, don’t show my secrets now.”
“How straight are you?”
 “Instead of hand grenades, we have tigers.”
“[name] has the best pants of the entire place so far that I’ve seen!”
“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens!”
“My email says ‘Judge me by the enemies I’ve made.”
“Wait, wait, wait. How does someone’s husband just go missing?”
“Maybe this guy just went somewhere and didn’t touch base?”
“I never threatened him.”
“Do you think I should call the police?”
“It’s just not in the cards.”
“Never speak that man’s name again in this house.”
“I’ve never been a greedy person.”
“If you continue talking, I will take everything away from you and your family.”
“Fifteen seconds to showtime!”
“She’ll never get a million dollars out of me. I don’t own anything.”
“God, he hated her.”
“There was nothing left.”
“You can guaran-goddamn-tee I’m gonna put a cap in your ass!”
“We never made him any kind of offer or asked him for anything.”
“I left everything I owned, and I drove, and I left and went back to [location]”
“I had a complete nervous breakdown.”
“They go after anybody involved.”
“They just never stop screaming!”
“You’re gonna have to kill me to shut me up!”
“We dubbed him the Godfather.”
“Who doesn’t want to play with a baby tiger?”
“I don’t even know what a chimp birthday party is.”
“Not great friends with him but... friendly.”
“Hey! Can you shut that off for a minute!?”
“I’m not changing the way I dress.”
“I refuse to wear a suit.”
“I am gay.”
“I am broke as shit.”
“I have a judgment against me from some bitch down there in Florida.”
“Let’s go blow some shit up.”
“I already knew he was batshit crazy.”
“Guess what, motherfucker!”
“Goldilocks bitch.”
“If I were gonna… you know, if somebody wanted to kill you, then they would put, like… sardine oil all over you.”
“It was really starting to fuck me up in the head.”
“I can’t compete with that, you know?”
“He has to do dramatics, you know? Drama.”
“Vegas was crazy.”
“You do everything against the odds!”
“That’s when I knew something serious was going on.”
“It was sort of funny when they started, but it’s gotten really dark.”
“I came here to save your ass!”
“I don’t know what’s about to happen.”
“I feel obligated that I need to make sure that he’s safe and secure.”
“I truly believe in karma.”
“We could just never pinpoint his location.”
“You don’t understand! These people are dangerous!”
“They’re just all crooked.”
“You don’t have to worry about the barking dog… so much as the one that’s quiet.”
“You can’t get him to stop talking.”
“Jesus fucking christ, why are you in jail?”
“We’re stronger in numbers.”
“Don’t free that motherfucker!”
“That was the scariest moment of my life.”
“I’m looking forward to starting all over again.”
“They all got what they wanted.”
“That was definitely a champagne and brie evening.”
“They said it was far from over.”
“Everyone is lost in this...”
61 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
Text
Impractical Jokers🎉season 1-8 starters!
Headernotes! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove. - Feel free to change pronouns to match. - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
“Well, we only have half an hour.”
“I was just sitting on the couch, I didn’t know that we were doing this.”
“Did you bring them?”
“Good ‘morrow sir!” 
“What do you say? You wanna move in?”
“You love to talk, huh?” 
“It’s a petition against that bitch Irene? She’s a bitch, just trust me.”
“Can anyone help me, please!” 
“... I’m a collector.”
“Hey, Mustache. What’s up?” 
“Shut your face, Grandma!” 
“Let’s get sexy!”
“His tooth fell out!”
“There’s no way to sugarcoat it...”
“You’ve changed the most for me.”
“What a horrible life.”
“I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do it then, I wouldn’t do it now!”
“I forgot what that feeling was like.”
“I was the (guy/girl) from gerbil-fest.”
“We don’t do that anymore.”
“We do things so differently now.”
“What does that mean?”
“Can I kiss your abs?”
“What the hell is that!?”
“Did you have a crush on one of your high school Spanish teachers?”
“Apparently today I will be teaching you about the birds and the bees.”
“You turn around and look!” 
“Howdy, asshole.”
“Look what’s goin’ on!”
“I know you love sushi, want some?”
“I hate you guys.”
“Is marriage a joke to you?”
“Where all the white women at?”
“Bourbon Street, suck it!”
“There (he/she) goes!”
“(Sir/Ma’am), get out!” 
“Dance it out, (name) dance it out.”
“I got your nose, bitch!”
“How long have you two been dating?”
“You guys locked me in there, that was really intense.”
“Get comfy.”
“Is this a good thing?”
“I actually feel a little nauseous.”
“And-- deep breath!”
‘I’m gonna kick your ass, partner.”
“Who’s phone is ringing?”
“Well, that went badly...”
“I gots ta chill the chaffe!” 
“Wake up!”
“Why am I Dracula?”
“That’s number seven for eBay.”
“You look crazy!”
“You go (girl!/boy!)!”
“There’s no fixin’ that.”
 “I’m sorry.”
“One of my favourite animals is actually up in Canada.”
“How is this even a fair comparison?”
“This is a tip then? it’s uh... it was... it was a little light.”
“That tattoo... It looks like a child did it.”
“I wouldn’t be able to do this.”
“Look at us... We’re always hungry.”
“This is so uncomfortable...”
“Do you want a drink?”
“(He’s/She’s) been following me around everywhere...” 
“These are (men/women) not to be trifled with.”
“Move over!”
“You’re just goin’ pretty fast.”
“(name) was truly my better half...”
“Do you just want me to give (her/him) a prize?”
“I’m just hangin’ out in the park.”
“Nose hair trimmers are pretty cheap these days.”
“You parked too close to the lines, asshole.”
“You’re hurt (name)!”
“We’re gonna get you out of here.”
“You look desperate.”
“Ugh! It’s so loud!”
“I’ve had enough of his bullshit!”
“Life is never what it seems.”
“It’s the electric slide, baby!” 
“Look at what we’ve done!”
“I’m sorry, was this yours?”
“I don’t even know what (he/she) said.”
85 notes · View notes
kipscorner · 4 years
Text
Family Guy season 1-8 Inbox Starters!
Header notes:  > Feel free to change pronouns and names to suit the situations. > These were selected at random throughout the seasons. Not every episode has a featured quote. > Person A (Being asked)  > Person B (Third party member)
“Well, he’s lying... there’s no doubt about that.”
“Hey look! There’s bigfoot!”
“(Person A) this is a big day for you...Today you become the (pronoun) of the house because when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.” 
“(Person A) go to your room!” 
“I can’t taste salt!”
“So, you drew this?”
“I don’t know how those two manage to be so perky in the morning.”
“Forget the party! The world’s gonna end!”
“That was my plan, where’s yours?”
“I’m upset because you never listen to me!” 
“What the hell?”
“I’m never going back to that school again!”
“Man... lookin’ up at the sky makes you feel so small.”
“Whoa... hold on a second! you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”
“All you guys have something to be proud of...”
“Don’t you stand there and lie to me!” 
“Remember what I did for you last week?” 
“I think I want to have kids someday.”
“We’ll help you.”
“I know we’re not here to place blame or beat ourselves up. But... I can’t help feeling like this is (Person B)’s fault.” 
“You poor bastard.”
“I’d put that back if I were you.”
“Ugh! Get a tan!” 
“Hey... I have a secret for you. (whispers) You’re awesome!” 
“I am so stupid.”
“What exactly are you trying to do?”
“If we want to get to Aspen we’re gonna have to get over those mountains somehow.”
“You son of a bitch! Don’t even joke about that!”
“I don’t know man... I think you piss a lot of people off that way.”
“You can’t speak Italian just because you have a mustache!”
“That was so humiliating... Look at all the stuff I put myself through just to get laid.”
“Hey, hey, hey! What are you doin’ in my room! Don’t touch my stuff!” 
“You know what’s not gonna fix it? Your shouting!”
“That thing is just creepy...”
“Oh my god... I can smell him from here.”
“Don’t... Don’t do that. Don’t repeat the last two words like you kind of know what I’m talking about. You have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“Whoa... What’s this place?”
“You’re just in time for pie!” 
“It’s not much, but it’s healthier than what people ate in the fifties” 
“This was worth the 500-Mile drive.”
“Are you trying to hurt me? Because you’ve succeeded.” 
“Where does any dirty joke come from?”
“I’m afraid that’s quite impossible.”
“I haven’t seen you in what... twenty years?”
“Well the law is wrong (Person A)!” 
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kipscorner · 4 years
Text
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  !!!LONG POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! Headernotes! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove. - Feel free to change pronouns to match. - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
Script!;; 
“Ho ho ho!”
“All right, class, if a reindeer leaves Elfsburg flying west at 20 miles per hour,
and another reindeer flies east traveling at 50 miles per hour, how many hours does it take for them to be 210 miles apart?”
“How come we can't learn things we want to?”
“Weirder than you can possibly imagine.”
“Ladies, keep up!”
“Do not panic!”
“That's gonna leave a mark.”
“Everything's gonna be all right.”
“I'm right here, babe. I'm right here. It's all right.”
“Honey, it was a false alarm.”
“I wish the baby had come this afternoon, or last week like we thought.”
“I'm going crazy. I'm really going crazy.”
“No more gifts.”
“I'll be back in a jiff.”
“That never gets old.”
“it's beautiful!”
“I'm a little concerned because the baby hasn't come yet.”
“Help you help me help you... help me. Help you.”
“One more thing. The Council (of Legendary Figures) called an emergency meeting.”
“Where? In the kitchen?”
“Is there an echo in here?”
“Sweetheart, I'm feeling so much better. I think that I'm going to go...on a walk”
“Anything I can do for you, (ma'am / sir)?”
“Care for some company?”
“I'm not gonna let that happen.”
“It's people that I need. You know, family.”
“There could be dire consequences.”
“I'll do what it takes to make this right.”
“let me see your teeth.”
“Open the doors if you want to fall in love!”
“You think it's necessary to call an emergency meeting?”
“Now that's what I'm talking about!”
“the possibilities are endless.”
“Excuse me. Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?”
“Guilty as charged!”
“You gotta understand, I have enormous untapped potential.”
“Why don't you let that go?”
“You know, (name), it's no picnic being me!”
“I know I don't deserve another chance, but I am asking you for one.
“I want to make things right.”
“You have the warmest hug in the world.”
“That's a...That's a good-looking sweater vest.”
“Let's pause a moment here...and take a feelings inventory.”
“If you harshly exclude (her/him) from this formative experience, you could scar her for life.”
“What have you done?”
“Don't be embarrassed.”
“It's the most top-secret, hush-hush, amazing place in the world. How can you say that that's not special?
“Wait, wait, wait, what's this?”
“We really must party in my condo in Gstaad sometime. It'd be fun.”
“Did you bring the deep-dreamin' stuff?”
“I may be sleepy, but I'm not stupid.”
“Good thing you called. Otherwise, I don't know if I would've remembered you.”
“Oh, come on, you guys, you'll catch pneumonia out here.”
“Throw my underwear in a bag. It's not like we're going to the North Pole.”
“Remember when we went to Yosemite?”
“What part of our plan was not clear?”
“I'm trying to pick a tree the whole family will love.”
“You know, I cannot imagine how hard it must be keeping such a big secret
from your folks.”
“Well, it's definitely worth it.”
“I will give you all the TLC that you need.”
“What a wonderful surprise. I didn't know you were coming!”
“What did you think of my parents?”
“Where do they think we are?”
“It was like a dream.”
“No, that was first class. And I got a chance to sit next to Tony Bennett.”
“I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason for shutting us out of your life.”
“It's a lot of beans. How many beans can he eat?”
“Never heard of you.”
“No. Tom Cruise is petite. These people are short.”
“I won't always be here to help you.”
“just because you're not into Christmas doesn't mean others can't enjoy it.”
“There's no secrets. We're family.”
“I can't see!”
“Cocoacchinos, anyone?”
“And I bet you sing, too.”
“you don't find that incredibly threatening, I'm sure it's very nice.”
“This is a disaster. What's going on?”
“You can be honest with us. Don't be afraid.”
“I can't stand one more piece of bad news.”
“We got a schedule to keep, get back to work.”
“Wait a minute. You weren't worried, were you?”
“Don't watch what I'm doing, this is a very secret code.”
“Do you want me to put on the tree topper?”
“We have a problem. This is unreadable. Because it's all crinkled up.”
“It's not great at all. You've done a terrible thing.”
“Oh, smile, will you?”
“You're number one. Act like it.”
“I'm not answering that.”
“You picked up on that, did you?”
“Well, maybe it's not as bad as being ripped away from your family and told you can't see them anymore.”
“Rather than make things work, you make things worse.”
“Don't say anything you'll regret.”
“I thought I had a second chance at having a family, but I blew it again.”
“I was gonna wait until tomorrow to give you this, but... I think you need a bit of a pick-me-up now.”
“You hit me with a shovel!”
“Well, you rarely see them and you... don't mention them.”
“Why on earth would you drag yourself all the way over here?”
“Are you sure you should be driving?”
“Do I look like a cash machine to you?”
“ I know you think therapy is like witchcraft, but you might consider it.”
“You don't really know because you were never around.”
“You put all the pressure on me.”
“I'll take care of him.”
“No hello? Love what you've done with the place?”
“The whole thing is way too much work, too much pressure.”
“Please, I'm cleansing.”
“I got everything I need right here.”
“Bring it on! Who wants some of this? Come here!”
“You're just a guy who smells like a cookie.”
“You killed him.”
“We've been looking everywhere for you.”
“Of course. It only takes a few minutes to see the truth of an entire lifetime.”
“Have you been drinking cocoa?”
“We ticked each other off. That's it. Like families all over the world do.”
“They don't have to be perfect to be good families. We just have to be together.”
“secrets aren't for families. I'm tired of keeping you from your family.”
“It's a little freaky, but... you'll get used to it.”
“How can I ever thank you for this?”
“Isn't that a shame?”
“This is what you're all reduced to?”
“I'm warming your heart.”
“Are you telling the stories again?”
Blooper Reel!;; 
“We'll do it right!”
“Do you like carrot juice?”
“I'm built for speed and comfort.”
“You... You weird me out.”
“Easy!”
“Why is that... Why is that funny?”
“All of a sudden Rosemary Clooney showed up.”
“I was laughing!”
“Quiet please!”
“Oh sorry, we workin’?” 
“Let’s keep going!”
“Can we stop for snacks?”
“We lost an ear!”
“SIT DOWN!”
“I am gonna knock you out!”
“Where am I gonna get some real magic?”
“You’re gonna miss me so much you’re gonna be sick of me!”
“Someone burn the film!”
“I’ll just close the door!”
[Hilarious contagious laughter]
[Snorts]
[Giggles]
[Serious expression turns into laughter]
25 notes · View notes