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kavi1219 · 1 month
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throwaway
this might sound insane but sometimes it kinda sucks to not be able to sit in my depressive state and/or suicidal thoughts bc there’s smthg I’m looking forward later in the week. It’s like damn I’m excited but also there’s a melancholy that follows me in every step and I’m just like 😊🙃😔 over and over again
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kavi1219 · 2 years
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COME ON WEDNESDAY HURRY UP
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kavi1219 · 2 years
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My week really goes
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
A Court Of Fey And Flowers
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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While yes I love to read...
Nothing is as stressful as reading a really good book and very rapidly approaching the ending as the plot continues to remain unresolved so you know it’s gonna end on a cliffhanger.
Sometimes you get lucky and it’s a stand-alone, so there’s and epilogue or smthg to give you a satisfactory ending
Sometimes it’s a little less lucky and it’s a series, but you can go to the library or buy the book (if you’re rich or smthg ) since the next book is already published. In fact it’s been published for a while, so there’s very little wait time.
And other times, the gods frown upon you, and the book is a series, and the ending rips your heart out, and you have to wait 1-3+ years before the next one comes out.
Which I get it takes a lot to write a book, let alone write more than one. But why do I keep starting amazing books? And then a small part of me is crying as it is unable to get over the possibilities of what happens next.
Anyway don’t read Legendborn Bc it’s amazing but who knows when the next book is coming out?
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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I know it’s bad to switch tabs when someone walks in, esp because I’m not rly doing anything wrong (other than not doing school work 😬)
But this habit has gone too far bc I heard my dog coming by the room I was in, and I SWITCHED TABS BEFORE SHE WALKED IN???? Like MA’AM THAT IS A DOG! Who she gonna tell? The neighbor’s dog? Wait actually...
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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Missing George Lovelace hours 😔
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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No one:
Literally no one at all:
My brain during a test: WandaVision Wawandavision wandavision wawandavision .... WANDAVISION🎶
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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Was I the only one rooting for Wanda to expand faster? I REALLY want Hayward to get trapped, like dying to see a more subdued, sitcom version of him. He’s doing too much rn...
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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thank you for liking my toll rant 🤗
Aww np! It was very valid criticism 😊
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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I love this take so much! I loved thunderhead bc of all the little insights into the thunderhead’s actions and personality (I didn’t know an AI could be so lovable). I also loved it Bc of how citra grew into scythe Anastasia and her growing relationship with Curie. And then the toll seemed to fall flat of that big fight scene that the other two books had. Instead they just ran away??? (well shot off into the sky). But at least the ending of Rowan and Citra was mostly satisfactory. 🤷🏾‍♀️
What did you think of the end of The Toll?
!!! TOLL SPOILERS !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION !!!
Scythe Cult:  @honorablescythecurie @honorablescythefaraday @palli-x @book-limerence @lochscinders @a-lonely-tatertot @shellyseashell
bored? send me serotonin please <3
Okay now lets get a couple things out of the way. I haven’t read Toll in a little bit, and it’s taking forever to come from the library. Also, yes I did have it downloaded before, but I kept rereading Faraday’s journal entry when he find out Curie is dead. I know, I’m trash for them but honestly let me have this #curiedeservedbetter2021 #faradaydeservedbetter2021 #curadayforlife
Now that we’ve established that I’m just lonely and so I cling onto healthy (ish) fictional couples for my source of love, let’s proceed.
Things I remember:
 - Rowan and Citra go zoomy zoom into spacey space, but Citra’s deadish because Goddard pulled some shit and so Rowan’s going to wait a couple hundred years for her to wake up
 - Total hottie Ayn Rand shanked Goddard which is honestly a power move you go girl
 - Faraday and Munira unleashed the failsafe, which basically infected a whole bunch of people and now Scythes just kill the infected people so that there’s no suffering
 - Jeri!!! and Greyson!!! Babeys!!! Smol Beans!!! My genderfluid babey with my weird Jesus man it’s a match made by the Thunderhead (because it literally is)
 - Rowan and Citra (who renounced her Scythehood) are going to start a new colony on some random ass planet
Things I don’t remember:
 - Whatever happen with Cirrus
 - Whatever happen with Joel the Jobe Man
 - Whatever happen with Loriana and Munira who are totally in love Shusterman said Sapphic rights 
Okay Akki stfu lets move on:
Okay. I didn’t really like it. I did like Rowan’s sarcasm, but the ending fell a little flat. Compared to the other books’ endings, I didn’t really think it measured up. It was just a bit bland. Here’s why.
The end goal:
Let’s just work our way through the series to show why The Toll just didn’t really work for me.
Scythe - Book 1:
Goal/Climax:
The goal/climax of the book was clear. Citra and Rowan are fighting for the ring. Only one can get it, and the winner has to glean the other. 
The ending:
Citra wins the ring, and is ordained. Instead of actually killing (gleaning) Rowan, she slyly grants him immunity by punching him so that his blood’s DNA would transfer to the database and no Scythe could kill him.  We also got a confession scene where they tell each other they love the other. It ends with Rowan finding out that Faraday did not self-glean.
Why it works:
It is tense. We are watching the two main characters have to either kill the other or be killed. Neither want to. It is clear from their actions throughout that they harbour feelings for each other. This is a high stakes situation. And it flows nicely. We don’t have any unnecessary dialogue/scenes. We don’t have a dumb solution to the problem where a bunch of unnecessary events happen like a character death/romantic scene. They do tell the other that they love them, but the moment is quick and is not the focus of the moment. The focus is on the actual ordainment ceremony and the challenge. The solution directly addresses the main conflict of the book.
Thunderhead - Book 2:
Goal/Climax:
Goddard and Citra (now Anastasia) are presenting their arguments as to who will win the inquest. The inquest was called because Anastasia and Curie needed time to gain more votes in favour of Curie for the position of High Blade. 
The ending:
Anastasia and Curie win the inquest, and Goddard must complete a full new apprenticeship in order to train his new body. Goddard, however, has tricks up his sleeve. He had made a plan prior to the events on Endura to cripple the Grandslayers tower. The plan changes, but works to his favour and destroys the entire island. Curie, in a desperate attempt to save Rowan and Citra, locks them in an airtight chamber that will preserve them so they can be revived. With this sacrifice, Curie is forced to self glean.
“She thrust her blade inward, directly into her heart. She fell to the ground only seconds before the sea would wash over her, but she knew death would wash over her faster. And the blade hurt far less than she imagined it would, which made her smile. She was good. Very, very good.”
-Thunderhead, page 499
Why it works:
*violently screams in my head* I’m good don’t worry
It is a logical ending. If Curie and Anastasia had won the inquest and survived Endura, there would be no need for a third book, unless Shusterman had decided to write a book about Curie being High Blade and Goddard sulking in the shadows and plotting to kill her. That wouldn’t work because I don’t think there is any possible way Curie wouldn’t catch Goddard in two seconds because she’s a boss.
Many people say that Curie should have gotten Rowan to lock her and Anastasia in the vault instead of him. Rowan would have died for Anastasia, it makes sense, but that takes away from the very essence of Curie’s character. She is a truly Honourable Scythe. She knows that Anastasia loves him, and she cares deeply about Anastasia. Letting herself survive would have been completely out of character. She also knows that Anastasia is the future of the Scythedom. While it would be a great help if Curie didn’t die, as well as sparing us emotional trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her character.
This ending also directly “solved” the issue in the book. While the villain won, it was a satisfying ending. Curie is dead, that was a very smart move, because obviously Goddard wouldn’t survive two seconds if she was there. It gave us a good reason for the Thunderhead to disappear.
 *violently screams again* Curie died, yeah, no, I’m okay
The Toll - Book 3: *note that some details may be wrong
Goal/Climax:
Faraday, Rowan, Jeri, Munira, Loriana, Anastasia, Greyson, and Cirrus need to figure out what to with the frozen Tonists, all unknowing that Scythes Goddard and Rand are heading towards the island. They still need to beat him in order to make sure that the non-Scythe population won’t be subject to bias/malice/aforethought/Goddard’s ego. 
The ending:
Rowan, and Citra, who renounced her Scythehood, travel to another planet that can support life with the frozen Tonists, as well as 42 other ships carrying Tonists. Cirrus is copied into 42 different versions in order to save humanity. After being offered Citra’s old ring, Munira (I believe) returns to the Library of Alexandria. Faraday follows through with the failsafe and gleans only the suffering. Greyson and Jeri stay together on the island, and become romantically involved. Scythe Rand is the one who eventually kills Goddard.
Why it DOESN’T work:
Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m just going to go character by character and by the plot.
1. Plot - It just doesn’t make sense. The hero’s solution doesn’t in any way stop Goddard, who is the main villain. We’ve led up to this for a very long time, and Rand is the one who gleans him. If I’m correct, The main characters don’t interact with Goddard for nearly the entire book, save Rowan. The solution, to save humanity by colonizing other planets would, without Rand’s interference, let Goddard wreak his havoc on the world. Only Scythe Faraday and Morrison could truly challenge him, and even then Faraday is old and hasn’t kept his abilities refined, and Morrison is young and inexperienced and wears a denim robe.
2. Rand and Goddard’s Arcs - Rand is the one who kills Goddard. I think that this was a very interesting move, and one that made a lot of sense. Goddard has treated her terribly, it would satisfy her arc of turning against him, as well as giving her a redemption arc that would also avenge Tyger’s death. I think that this is actually a really good arc, were it not for the fact that Citra and Goddard never fought/interacted with each other. If there had been a fight, and Rand had killed him then, that would have been better and would have better satisfied the actual conflict in the book.
3. Rowan and Citra’s Arcs - In terms of Citra’s arc, I think it was emotionally impactful to have her renounce her Scythehood. But Rowan didn’t have as much of a part to play in this book as he could have had. Citra and Goddard also never interacted, which would have been very interesting since he was the direct cause of her mentor and canon mother figure’s death. It would have been an interesting scene that could have played out really well. Based on Discord texts from a conversation I had, I know an reminded that the last two pages of The Toll were incredibly impactful and beautiful. I don’t have much to say about Rowan since I don’t remember much of his role.
4. Jeri, Greyson, Loriana, and Munira’s Arcs - I paired these four together since their doings aren’t very solid after the books. Jeri and Greyson are canonically together, which I think was a great move by Shusterman. Having a main character in a healthy relationship with a canon LGBTQ+ character was incredibly impactful for me, and it satisfied Greyson’s thoughts about how he doesn’t care if Jeri is a boy or a girl, he just loves them. Loriana didn’t have as much of an arc, but Munira did have a small one. Her refusal of the Scythe’s ring let her dispense of her hatred for Scythes and their system, and let her let go of her bitter feelings about not being ordained. 
5. Cirrus’ Arc? - I do not remember enough to speak about Cirrus’ role in the books.
6. Faraday’s Arc - This is probably the one I have the most to say about. I am sorry in advance. Faraday is an emotional character. He has cried canonically twice as far as I can remember, once when he gleaned a child, and the other when he found out Scythe Curie and Anastasia had died on Endura. He is also openly disgusted with Scythe Goddard and his practices, which is why I supremely dislike his arc. It would have been so interesting to see how he would have reacted if Scythe Goddard and the heroes had interacted during the end scene of The Toll. We know he is an Honourable Scythe, like Curie, and upholds the Scythe Commandments, especially after his punishment over his breaking of the 9th commandment “Thou shalt have no spouse nor spawn.” It would have been so. interesting. to see whether Faraday would snap and attack Goddard, if he would try and talk to him, how he would react. Like with Anastasia, he would have been interacting with Curie’s murderer. The potential of that moment! Don’t forget that Faraday is definitely still in love with Curie, based on his elevated heart rate in Thunderhead, and his journal entry in The Toll. I think it would have been so interesting to see him confront her killer.
Summary:
Okay that was much longer than I intended, and I have more thoughts, but it’s 2:40 am and I haven’t slept in a while. So my summary. I liked The Toll. It was a solid book, that had funny moments, jaw dropping moments, heartfelt moments, and emotionally impactful scenes. It was a solid book.
I don’t think it compared as much to the other two, especially Thunderhead. The ending fell a little flat and didn’t carry the arcs as well as I would have liked, but honestly, I still reread it. Shusterman really managed to pull at your emotions.
Because I just beat up on the book for the last couple paragraphs, let me tell you some of my favourite parts of the book.
1. Literally any scene with Possuelo and Anastasia that dynamic was so good and him calling her “meu anjo” literally made my heart do a little happy dance the father-daughter dynamic was what we needed. It also offered a nice levity to tough scenes.
2. The Rowan-Anastasia Reunion. They ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet. Ohhhh my god, they ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet! That was so cute, and as someone who was a strong supporter of platonic Rowan & Anastasia, I honestly loved it.
3. Faraday-Anastasia Reunion. Him dropping to his knees in front her her, her initial confusion as to who he was, and the “perhaps the greatest of all Scythes was kneeling in front of her” part killed me. Their reunion was so well written and heart-wrenching.
4. Anastasia Cries about Curie’s Death. I feel like WatchMojo right now. Anyways, the way her emotions break after trying to repress her sadness over her mentor’s sacrifice for her.
5. Rowan’s sarcasm. Beauty. What a power move to sass the guy who’s going to set you on fire in front of 3000 people.
6. Scythe Constantine and Rand. What a dynamic I wasn’t ready for. Rand’s cool comebacks with Constantine’s sly personality just made for the most amazing dialogue opportunities. 
Thank you anon!
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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my anxiety and depression: i can do this all day
me laying in bed at 2pm: yeah, i know. i know.
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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reblog and put in the tags the last book you read, the book you’re currently reading and the next book on your list
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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Not me rewatching it anyway, just to skip to the scenes at pemberly for all the feels 😍😊
for some reason youtube started recommending lizzie bennet diaries episodes and I’m like please stop…as much as I want to…I really should not rewatch for the fifth time
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kavi1219 · 3 years
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Claire from The Library of the Unwritten by A. J. Hackwith
This was such a good book. A lot of descriptions and thought about reading, and stories and how I feel readers and writers Think about books. It’s also about a library in hell, full of all those books that never got written or might be written. It’s essentially all this potential of the human mind/soul. Its also about Claire the librarian. In her lifetime she was the author of countless unwritten books. It’s also about the books and how they strive to be realized. How sometimes they wake up in the form of one of the characters. And it’s about a lot more. Muses and love and loss and life, the afterlife and on and on…. read this book :)
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kavi1219 · 4 years
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bad representation in the pjo-verse: a masterpost
racism/offensive stereotyping
samirah: arranged marriage + this + this + this , hijab + this , response to rick’s post + this , nickname “sam” + this + this (bonus: art tips)
hazel: fr*zel , white/lightwashing , “golden” eyes , eurocentric features , hair type , general issues + this + this , (bonus: fancasts/faceclaims/art references)
piper: general issues (a masterpost) , cornucopia , response to rick’s post + this + this + this , (bonus: art tips , resources masterpost)
sadie: white/lightwashing + this + this + this + this
leo: abuse + this + this , stereotyping + this (a continuation of the prev post)
reyna: this + this
mallory: this + this
paolo
latino rep
eastern asian/southeastern asian rep: this + this + this + this
indian rep
antisemitism: this + this + this , lavinia + this
the gods and dna: this + this
general racism: this + this + this + this + this + this + this
camp jupiter and the confederacy
cultural appropriation: this + this 
white supremacy
racism centric post with additions on leo + paolo + antisemitism
anti-lgbtq+
nico’s romanticized forced outing: this + this
lesbophobia: this + this + this + this + this
non-canon canon (a la jkr) ace/aro rep: this + this
transphobia: this + this + this
ableism
general issues: this + this + this + this
clovis: this + this
big age gaps
annabeth and luke , black female characters + this , female characters , apollo and thalia
misogyny/sexism
this + this + this (+ lesbophobia) + this
fatphobia
this + this
underage alcoholism
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kavi1219 · 4 years
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nothing feels as good as starting to read again when you haven’t held a book in your hand for such a long time and now the setting sun is in your room and there’s paper under your fingers and you feel so good about letting the words float into you again
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kavi1219 · 4 years
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i noticed my burnout comic was making rounds but the full comic is no longer available after the collegehumor website went offline…. so here it is!!!
i wrote/drew this back in 2018 when i was struggling w hella burnout and depression. i hope everyone is taking care of themselves :3
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