introspection-of-a-deserter

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Dear readers, It's been 3 years since the first page of Introspection was posted! Such an eventful three years, full of pauses as well. To celebrate, I decided to post this sketch of Jeong Jeong. Do mind his position, it is meaningful. Well, there is some news. Remember that illustration job I had landed? It has been extended until September, which means longer time working on other art - but that wouldn't be too much of an issue, if I meant to handle my life with good planning. I'm not going to lie, working two jobs and three voluntary projects isn't a joke, which really makes my personal life "scattered". I do not think I will continue this comic with the same intent as before. I'm not necessarily leaving it, but I cannot afford to keep it in my routine. This was meant to be a faster project, and since I graduated, I foresee life becoming harder and busier. Tomorrow I'm going to do one of the most difficult things in my life so far: I'm getting a surgery done. I don't know if this life changing event will have an impact on this situation, but life will uncurl and we are left to witness it.

Kindest regards, Raffaele, the author

#introspection of a deserter #jeong jeong

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Hi! I just wanted to say I adore your comic! The colours are so beautiful, your art style is lovely, and the care you put into this project is evident. With so many things to tackle, like using real life cultures, the effects of war on those in service and out of it, and mental health, How do you go about doing research for it?

Hello! Thank you for this wonderful ask - both for the compliments and the interesting questions. So, let’s dive right into it: apologies for the long answer, but when you ask a creator to talk about their projects, they love to do it.

I started planning Introspection of a Deserter right when I began attending my Bachelor course in Education and Pedagogy - I met a lot of philosophical concepts that tingled my creativity, and I had to read a lot of books, so I felt like I was in the right mental space to handle a project that was deep and complex. I was studying how people grow up and shape their life, and it felt relevant for me to write a fictional biography that hit a series of themes that were interesting for me. I was 19, and now I am 22, and in all honesty I don’t think I’ve done a good job on the needed research.

Cultures Well, this part was simplified by the show. I think the creators of Avatar did some decent research, especially aesthetic wise, but they didn’t really go for the authentic representation. The info I got by talking with some asian fans is that Avatar does not work according to determined social mechanics, for example, in Korea or Vietnam. From what I gather, it was felt closer by Asian Americans, due to the characters feeling quite american, but the aesthetic being non-western (in A:tla at least). Being pretentious as I am, I felt like I wanted to use a bit more authenticity, but I didn’t really get it right on several aspects. I watched some fantasy asian movies to get examples for the tone I wanted (fun fact: I’m working on a watchlist of 30 movies to find the root of the mood of Introspection), mostly chinese; I read some articles about daily lifestyles and so on. On a hindsight, I should have watched more documentaries. I actually planned a trip to Vietnam in the indefinite future to “feel” the vegetation more! Vegetation is one of those thing you tend to take for granted, but it gives an entirely different texture and feeling to the landscape. Take, for example, the webcomic Heart of Keol: I couldn’t do that just by watching some fantasy movies (the author is, indeed, Korean), I need to live it first. However, a lot of stuff was made up and conveniently placed there, and that ... that has some consequences. See, for example, the religion storyline. Now, this one is a sore spot for me, because I’m viscerally attached to it. I don’t actually plan to change it in the near future - even if I do have a pair of books about buddhism on my readlist. What I’m telling in the comic is fundamentally a story about pseudo-catholicism: the concept of sin doesn’t match the concept of karma, the “sinfulness” of homosexuality and the desire of redemption, that’s just something that does not make sense in the context of a Buddhist culture. Let’s not even get into reincarnation: I have not done the minimum amount of research necessary to get such a difficult concept. And yet, I feel like changing this side of the comic would distort it to an unrecognizable story, and if I want to keep drawing it, I believe I need to mantain a bond with it. Will I try to be more authentic nonetheless? Yes. The effect of war I must admit I am quite fashinated by war. There is actually a branch in Medical Anthropology that studies war! And not only in the Medical one. However, the academics that do that have a severely higher risk of getting shot so I’m... still considering it, yes? I started looking into it because of Introspection. I think reading stories is educational most of the time, if only for the spark of interest one might develop for certain themes. You create some basis neuronal connections that will make it easy to look into more reliable sources later. But what is even better for me is Writing Stories: perfectionism forces me to look into sources (and as I grow older, I get that more and more), and looking into those makes me wish to write a story in that setting. That being said, my personal connection to war has been pretty indirect so far. I’ve listened and read stories about people who have been in battles, soldiers, victims - and I’ve been reading a lot about colonization in the last 4 years; from the classics to current issues (think Palestine). I include this bit on colonization because it will/would be a very recurrent theme in the story, and yet I know I’m still not there yet, I need to be more informed. The interest started with the disciplined experience of being in the military as studied by Goffman, and later on by Foucault, but then came in the concept blood thirst, and how does one person manage to enjoy killing people? How does one’s conscience tolerate it? I still haven’t finished doing research for that, because that story line “has just started”, and I like to keep concepts fresh in my mind (probably a mistake. Artists: do the research before you start working on the story, not while you’re doing it - unless it’s a written piece, that you can rework and rework. I didn’t finish the script before starting to draw the comic, so uh ... that’s a consequence). Mental health This was probably the one I winged the most through experience and knowledge gathered over the years. I haven’t properly read a book about depression yet - but I’ve just got one pending in the reading list, and the same goes (spoilers!) for alcohol and drug addiction. I did read a lot of experiences told by those who have been there, and I’ve even done an internship (actually only half of it because of Covid-19) in a rehab center for alcohol and drug abuse. However I know depression a bit, I’ve had several people with a variation of it in my life, and part of this comic is a re-elaboration of what I and other people have gone through in a (not always) exaggerated way, and fictionalization. When I was in a very different mental place, I used to refer to this comic as my “self-therapy”. Just an example can be found in (planned) book 4, which will be an hypothesis of therapy for someone with serious suicidal thoughts. Never will the comic be about “complete healing!”, because that’s not something I believe in, however it will be used to experiment, and hope a bit for a better, if bittersweet, vision of life. As I got into doing the comic, some themes became more important than others because I felt more bound to them, and usually I do more research on those now. Academic paper reading, people who live them in first person experiences (through documentaries, autobiographies, or youtube videos), or even personal experiences are all sources I draw from in comic planning. This being said, I should either choose shorter stories or simpler subjects for my next comic. But will I? Who knows. Thank you for reading so far!

#non comic #comic talk #spoilers #felt relevant to reblog here

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Thanks to a helpful friend pointing out, i deleted the last 5 pages due to a restoration, let’s say. I only need to redraw two pages, but for continuity reasons i deleted the following three. They will be updated all in a go.

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

of course if you do not want to continue posting this story (for any reason), that is entirely up to you and you gotta do what makes you happy, not readers. but for what it’s worth, i think this story is incredible and the fact you’re doing this is so cool! and the art is absolutely breathtaking!!! like it honestly feels like the kyoshi novels re: set before atla and a really enriching expansion of canon/world building. i just think ur doing a fantastic job and wanted to say that <3 and thank u for everything you’ve given us!

Thank you for your lovely, lovely message! In the time between the hiatus notice and now, I’ve had some things to think about. I decided that I will keep posting (and maybe in the same one [or maybe... two?] pages per week fashion); what I will not keep doing is advertising it. That part really had me stressed, I kept on thinking strategies and ways for it to be found, but the truth is that this specific comic has a very specific audience target, and not all ATLA fans will like it.  For this reason, this blog, the tapas link and Introspection’s very own discord server will be the only places where it will be advertised now (meant as when I’ll manage to write some pages, ahah). You made my morning better. Thank you ^^

#non comic

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Hello again. No page this week, nor for the next 4 to 6 months. Back in late September, I got a part time job. Now I have accepted another part time as illustrator for an Hairdresser Formation book (a commission of around 85 pieces) that will have me busy for a while. In the meantime, both my thesis and my work in two (2!) academic research teams are kind of... draining my time and energy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful for the life I’m living right now, especially with the current  sanitary situation in Europe. However, I’ll have to cut on something, and that means my personal fictional work. I’d also like to add that I’m currently living a bit of burnout with the comic. I love it like I always have and I still plan on continuing it (and we’re nowhere near the end of even book 1 of 4), but I’m considering not posting it anymore, or changing the way it gets posted. I’m aware that my happiness with this project shouldn’t come from the answer of readers, but it’s getting to me lately. The fault is either in the art, the plot, or the advertising, but the outcome is that I feel bad about it.  Posting is hard, folks!

Especially when you can’t draw feet. What happened to Jeong Jeong’s left foot!!!!???? Ugly!

#introspection of a deserter

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter, another incredibly pretentious promotional picture! A note on Jeong Jeong in this piece: he's full of future chapters symbolism. The flowers are Anemone Nemorosa, a type of wood flower. The design is inspired by the genderfluid (according to cantonese mythology) bodhisattva Guanyin, Goddess of Mercy, also known as Avalokitesvara in the Indian mythology (in which they are a male bodhisattva). Since i chose to make the Fire Nation a monotheistic culture (followers of Agni), this won't be a fire nation deity!

#introspection of a deserter #avatar the last airbender #atla #jeong jeong #atla fanart #illustration #artists on tumblr #watercolor #traditional art #sketch #sketchbook #painting #art #i'm trying my best apologies

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 16 Twelve what, exactly? Discord - New Readers - Read it on Tapas The only way for this comic to be known is for it to reach others, so if you wish, please reblog!

#avatar the last airbender #atla #iroh #jeong jeong #atla fanart #lok #legend of korra #fire nation #zuko #artists on tumblr #illustration #painting #watercolor #traditional art #comic #webcomic #fancomic #comic artist #introspection of a deserter #you won't believe it but i actually got a job? Oh my god

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 15 I was forgetting to update. What do you think it will happen to Jeong Jeong and Mifan? Discord - New Readers - Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #iroh #jeong jeong #zuko #fire nation #fanart #atla fanart #legend of korra #lok #artists on tumblr #watercolor #illustration #fancomic #comic #webcomic #sketch #traditional art #introspection of a deserter

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Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 14 They fucked up a bit. I wanted to wait for 1k followers before doing this but you know what? Life is short and I’m not sure I’ll reach the number so hear ye, hear ye! An Introspection of a Deserter discord server is hot and ready to be lanched. Invite yourself by clicking on this link!  New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #lok #atla fanart #fanart #fancomic #webcomic #comic #artists on tumblr #illustration #watercolor #painting #ink #sketch #sketchbook #watercolor comic #introspection of a deserter #ioad

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Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 13 I’m currently, like last year, somewhere in a Scout camp cooking for teenagers. But this year there won’t be a pause because I already made you wait enough!  New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #jeong jeong #artists on tumblr #lok #comic #fancomic #webcomic #fanart #illustration #watercolor #traditional art #avatar comic #fanwork #zuko #iroh #fire nation #introspection of a deserter #i'm considering making a discord server for introspection #anybody in?

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

I never reblogged this message before but this time I’ll do it and say thank you very much Kristal! I wish you a creative year and late happy Restoration of Indipendence Day ^^

My dearest friends and followers,

I turn to you for the 6th year in a row, with a message that my fingers have typed the same amount of times in the evening of the 20th of August for these past couple of years, when Estonians are busy celebrating our Restoration of Independence Day:

Thank you! Thank you once more, because I keep finding myself running out of words to use to paraphrase my thoughts in any different way. But the gesture remains the same: I would like to honour these people, whose fanfiction, roleplay, headcanons, meta or whatever other timeless pieces of writing will remain in the back of my mind for years to come.

Your hard work and creativity is highly appreciated. I hope that these two simple words are enough to show my gratitude. So, thank you!

Lists from previous years can be found here: X X X X X. Without further ado, here they are in alphabetical order:

A @airbender-dacyon @alllemagne @amiraelizabeth @atypicalkataangist @avatarsymbolism @avatarwindboy @azulamakesmeblank

C - I @cassidy-alice @dykesia @eskalations @hailqiqi @ilarual-archive @introspection-of-a-deserter

K - P @kataracy @letthepickaxedothetalking @lg2124 @obbsessedturtle @penguinsledder @piandaoist

R - S @royaltealovingkookiness @s-n-arly @secretsecrettunnel @spiritxofxkuroshio @sweetavidyajones

T @tashiandnima @the-rosey-one @thecaroliner

#non comic

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 12 Apologies for the delay and for the slightly out of focus page. I swear, i scanned it three times but it just doesn’t want to be clear. New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #lok #jeong jeong #iroh #zuko #fire nation #fanart #artists on tumblr #illustration #painting #watercolor #comic #fancomic #webcomic #introspection of a deserter

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Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 11 This is a sad day for Avatar fans. Let’s mourn the Live Action with a page. New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #lok #jeong jeong #iroh #legend of korra #watercolors #comic #webcomic #fanart #fancomic #illustration #painting #artists on tumblr #zuko #prince iroh #introspection of a deserter

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 10  To leave Mifan roaming free is to make a big mistake. New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #lok #jeong jeong #webcomic #fancomic #watercolor #comic #fanart #fan comic #artists on tumblr #painting #illustration #fire nation #introspection of a deserter #i'm supposed to leave italy in like some days but... i probably won't #i was supposed to workaway but umh. There's a pandemic man #i hope you like this page #i like the colors

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 9  As you may easily see, I never actually draw entire panels, I slap the word baloons in the draft and roll with it until the end. I’m considering now switching to painting the whole panel and adding the words digitally, because this comic is supposed to be read digitally, after all. Do you think the quality would improve? New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #jeong jeong #avatar the legend of aang #legend of korra #lok #fanart #watercolor #artists on tumblr #painting #illustration #comic #webcomic #fancomic #introspection of a deserter #do you think jeong jeong would be a good driver? I'm not. I'm sad. I hope he isn't either

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 8 Tea, son New Readers Read it on Tapas

#introspection of a deserter #avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #lok #fancomic #watercolors #comic #webcomic #fanart #artists on tumblr #comic artist #jeong jeong #i have some announcements to make later in july or in august #life is busyyyyy

[introspection-of-a-deserter]

Introspection of a Deserter: chapter 4, page 7 And I guess you're going to ask "but Raff, have you ever partecipated to a winning party?" and the answer is "no, humans make me anxious", which explains why the present scene looks like something an alien would think humans do. New Readers Read it on Tapas

#avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #lok #jeong jeong #fanart #watercolors #artists on tumblr #introspection of a deserter #ioad #illustration #painting #webcomic #fan comic #comic artist #the alps were amazing! #i did get inspired for a short modern au in which mifan and JJ go to the alps #might draw it to experiment a bit with style #it won't be canon compliant tho...