iiamtrashqueenii

[iiamtrashqueenii]

happy aro week!! heres some reminders for yall bc youre all valid, questioning, sure, or otherwise <3

romantic, alterous, platonic, and all other forms of attraction are all great but none of them are necessary for a happy fulfilling life!!

the absence of attraction does not make you broken or wrong

not being in a romantic relationship is fine and even qprs aren’t necessary to be “complete”

love doesn’t need to be romantic to be real

if you’re aro you’re incredible, not just this week, but every week of the year :)

[iiamtrashqueenii]

honestly the line between projecting neurodivergency and projecting trauma / feelings is so fuckin thin lmao

the rad thing about headcanoning fictional characters as neurodivergent is that you don’t even need to wait for the writers to confirm it bc if they give that character enough traits to qualify as being a certain way, then they just are. obviously it’s great if they did it on purpose but also. if you didn’t mean to write an autistic character? well you still did by accident and nothing you can say is gonna change that lol

[iiamtrashqueenii]

aro Remy is such a lovely hc whoever suggested that you have my whole heart

#Remy #ts remy #ts sleep #aromantic #aro Pride

[iiamtrashqueenii]

hshdjfkf honestly I’ve been writing and sometimes I just realize “.... fuck I really just gave them like 6 traits of ADHD... I guess they have ADHD now lmao”

the rad thing about headcanoning fictional characters as neurodivergent is that you don’t even need to wait for the writers to confirm it bc if they give that character enough traits to qualify as being a certain way, then they just are. obviously it’s great if they did it on purpose but also. if you didn’t mean to write an autistic character? well you still did by accident and nothing you can say is gonna change that lol

#deadass it goes #stimming #emotional disregulation #fear of failure spirals that create procrastination and procrastination creates fear of failure #like #fuck #oops #and no regrets regardless

[iiamtrashqueenii]

[iiamtrashqueenii]

consider: capitalism and I’m poor

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash

yes

[iiamtrashqueenii]

No problem!

Hey so a while ago you made your own aspec identity and I was wondering where you started and if you can give tips? Doing some digging I found out I am probably somewhere on the arospec but I can't find an identity that fits my experiences.

Lovely ask!

So! Honestly it took me a couple days to figure out exactly what being arospec meant for me. I’ll make these a bit more broad since you referenced “aspec” and not “arospec” specifically.

To start off, I had to look at my attraction. I experience some. I experience something that isn’t platonic but isn’t quite the die-hard romance that I roll my eyes at. So here’s some starter questions to figure out:

1) How do you feel about romantic/sexual actions? As in, what are you comfortable with? This can help determine if you’re repulsed, indifferent, or positive, even if you don’t experience the attraction, or only experience the attraction in a different way. For me personally, this changes, and despite being in a romantic relationship, there are times where I feel really disgusted with the thought of kissing, and other times (though rarely) where I want to kiss my partner senseless. Mostly I tend to lead into the indifferent category though.

2) What kind of relationships are you comfortable with? Platonic (friendships), queerplatonic, romantic, sex based / friends with benefits, etc?

3) Do you experience romantic attraction? How strongly? Does it vary, or stay consistent? Do you experience crushes, or a less intense form of attraction, does your attraction fade or perhaps lack entirely at the drop of a pin (or the reverse, becoming really intense and perhaps dropping from there)? Identify the types of attraction you feel. (These can all be changed for sexual contexts as well, but I thought it was easier to provide some specific examples with romance)

So in short: identify your feelings towards actions, identify your feelings towards potentially having each type of relationship, and identify how your experiences with romantic attraction (if you have any) function.

@neopronouns was the one that I remember who digitally recreate my flag. They also let me talk about it and honestly even just having a place to type it out helped me figure it out, and it was really nice seeing a supportive blog when I was trying to figure everything out.

You’re also welcome to talk to me about it too!

[iiamtrashqueenii]

I looked through a whole list of terms, and found the term “aroflux.” Aroflux refers to someone who’s actual romantic feelings fluctuate. Mine doesn’t—instead my feelings towards romantic actions fluctuate. I felt that since aroflux referred to a fluctuation, aroflex could refer to being “flexible” in terms of what I want in a romantic relationship. So from there, I searched around to make sure the term “aroflex” wasn’t coined.

As for my flag, I looked up some other arospec flags after researching what each stripe meant. It was partially inspired by the demiromantic flag, partially because I liked the design. I found other flags that I disliked a lot, like there’s one that has a gradient from red to green to show that they feel romantic attraction sometimes, but other times feel none (I don’t remember the exact term, so I’m keeping the description vague). I didn’t like the idea of putting red in mine, because the attraction I do feel still isn’t quite romantic. I felt white was the most prominent color, since it was for both friendships and other non-romantic relationships (like queerplatonic), because I do still have relationships. I thought the dark and light green were the next in the importance and wanted to put them on opposite sides still to represent how my aromanticity would change but remain within the boundaries of “aromantic” (dark green) and “arospec” (light green). I felt gray was a less important color, so I made those stripes thinner, as they represent some specific common forms of arospec that I don’t fit. Black was about the same thinness because it represents the sexual aspect of relationships, which I’m not looking into all that much.

Hey so a while ago you made your own aspec identity and I was wondering where you started and if you can give tips? Doing some digging I found out I am probably somewhere on the arospec but I can't find an identity that fits my experiences.

Lovely ask!

So! Honestly it took me a couple days to figure out exactly what being arospec meant for me. I’ll make these a bit more broad since you referenced “aspec” and not “arospec” specifically.

To start off, I had to look at my attraction. I experience some. I experience something that isn’t platonic but isn’t quite the die-hard romance that I roll my eyes at. So here’s some starter questions to figure out:

1) How do you feel about romantic/sexual actions? As in, what are you comfortable with? This can help determine if you’re repulsed, indifferent, or positive, even if you don’t experience the attraction, or only experience the attraction in a different way. For me personally, this changes, and despite being in a romantic relationship, there are times where I feel really disgusted with the thought of kissing, and other times (though rarely) where I want to kiss my partner senseless. Mostly I tend to lead into the indifferent category though.

2) What kind of relationships are you comfortable with? Platonic (friendships), queerplatonic, romantic, sex based / friends with benefits, etc?

3) Do you experience romantic attraction? How strongly? Does it vary, or stay consistent? Do you experience crushes, or a less intense form of attraction, does your attraction fade or perhaps lack entirely at the drop of a pin (or the reverse, becoming really intense and perhaps dropping from there)? Identify the types of attraction you feel. (These can all be changed for sexual contexts as well, but I thought it was easier to provide some specific examples with romance)

So in short: identify your feelings towards actions, identify your feelings towards potentially having each type of relationship, and identify how your experiences with romantic attraction (if you have any) function.

@neopronouns was the one that I remember who digitally recreate my flag. They also let me talk about it and honestly even just having a place to type it out helped me figure it out, and it was really nice seeing a supportive blog when I was trying to figure everything out.

You’re also welcome to talk to me about it too!

[iiamtrashqueenii]

Hey so a while ago you made your own aspec identity and I was wondering where you started and if you can give tips? Doing some digging I found out I am probably somewhere on the arospec but I can't find an identity that fits my experiences.

Lovely ask!

So! Honestly it took me a couple days to figure out exactly what being arospec meant for me. I’ll make these a bit more broad since you referenced “aspec” and not “arospec” specifically.

To start off, I had to look at my attraction. I experience some. I experience something that isn’t platonic but isn’t quite the die-hard romance that I roll my eyes at. So here’s some starter questions to figure out:

1) How do you feel about romantic/sexual actions? As in, what are you comfortable with? This can help determine if you’re repulsed, indifferent, or positive, even if you don’t experience the attraction, or only experience the attraction in a different way. For me personally, this changes, and despite being in a romantic relationship, there are times where I feel really disgusted with the thought of kissing, and other times (though rarely) where I want to kiss my partner senseless. Mostly I tend to lead into the indifferent category though.

2) What kind of relationships are you comfortable with? Platonic (friendships), queerplatonic, romantic, sex based / friends with benefits, etc?

3) Do you experience romantic attraction? How strongly? Does it vary, or stay consistent? Do you experience crushes, or a less intense form of attraction, does your attraction fade or perhaps lack entirely at the drop of a pin (or the reverse, becoming really intense and perhaps dropping from there)? Identify the types of attraction you feel. (These can all be changed for sexual contexts as well, but I thought it was easier to provide some specific examples with romance)

So in short: identify your feelings towards actions, identify your feelings towards potentially having each type of relationship, and identify how your experiences with romantic attraction (if you have any) function.

@neopronouns was the one that I remember who digitally recreate my flag. They also let me talk about it and honestly even just having a place to type it out helped me figure it out, and it was really nice seeing a supportive blog when I was trying to figure everything out.

You’re also welcome to talk to me about it too! <3

#arospec #aspec #acespec #pebble talks #asks #send asks

[iiamtrashqueenii]

[iiamtrashqueenii]

*things that should be completely normal AND not destroy people’s futures because of capitalism

things that should be completly normal:

not going to uni

taking as much time as needed before going to uni

changing your majors many times before finding what you like

changing your career path

not knowing what you want

attending a community college 

valuing your health over your grades

#like #honestly I’ve rarely seen people look down on others because of this #it’s more so they worry about their futures #this should be normal #but it’s not bc of societal approval #it’s because people literally don’t have a choice except to be critical of themself #cause if they screw up :)) #well there goes a fuck ton of your chances of having a decent life

[iiamtrashqueenii]

My sibling was watching season 12 of SPN with their friend and I’m on s8 or smth so deadass I was like “wait??? their mother is alive???” “why is everyone ignoring that Dean bad the chance to get out of hunting too”

to which I received the explanation that “Sam had his memory wiped.” “How??” “Lost his soul?” “Again???!”

#Sam Quit fucking losing ur soul #spn #supernatural #season 12

[iiamtrashqueenii]

lmao straights acting like ken n Barbie haven’t been a thing forever

thank u barbie for showing bi/lesbian solidarity

[iiamtrashqueenii]

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc it’s easier

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc it’s safer

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc they don’t feel like they can pull off anything else

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc presenting as their real gender is impossible

shoutout to nonbinary people who present as their assigned gender bc they want to

shoutout to nonbinary people whose presentation is mistaken for their assigned gender but is in fact how they express their real gender

just because we might “look cis” doesn’t make us any less nonbinary and tbh fuck anyone who says otherwise

[iiamtrashqueenii]

I keep thinking about that straight girls in gay bars post and so here’s a list of things that straight people have done to me or around me in gay bars

I ask a pretty girl if she wants to dance. She looks at me with disgust and says, “I’m not gay” in the snottiest valley girl voice I’ve ever heard. 

A short greasy dude will not leave me the fuck alone at the bar. I tell him multiple times “I am a lesbian.” He says, “me too” and in the same breath tells me I’ll like it if I try it. When the guy steps away to talk to his friend, three gay men surround me and buy me a drink and swear to keep him away from me for the rest of the night.

2am, drunk, cheering on my favorite local drag queen on stage. A contestant from Dr*g R*ce is in the audience, hanging out, supporting her friends. The straight girls next to me spot her and start shrieking at the top of their lungs and trying to get to her. Security escorts the contestant elsewhere so no one could get near her. Not a single straight person in the audience tips any of the performing queens. 

I’m by myself on the dance floor, feeling myself to Bey, as you do. A man comes up to me and starts dancing. After a minute, he starts grinding on me and tries to kiss me. I put my hand in his face and tell him I’m a lesbian. He says something very vulgar that I don’t completely remember because I was drunk af. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the dance floor completely. I end up on the patio with a beautiful butch girl and when I tell her what just happened, she offers to beat him up for me. 

A girl with a bachelorette party, telling me, with complete seriousness, that she was just discriminated against at the bar for being straight. What happened? The bartender didn’t pay attention to her immediately and she had to wait “forever” for her drink. 

Related: Almost every negative review of my favorite gay bar is by a straight person. At least half of them claim that the bartenders or bouncers discriminated against them. 

And then this one isn’t bad, it just made me laugh when it happened 

Guy: hey can you ask the bartender for a drink for me? They usually pay more attention to girls Me: oh baby not here they don’t lol Guy: ?? Me: This is a gay bar, sweetheart Guy: I… oh… *looks at the shirtless male bartenders, the go go boys, the rainbow flags, the drag queen behind me, the glitter everywhere* *walks away in a daze*

#ur not wrong lmao

[iiamtrashqueenii]

Asking straights to be decent human beings at all is deemed heterophobic, but ONLY if you’re queer.

I keep thinking about that straight girls in gay bars post and so here’s a list of things that straight people have done to me or around me in gay bars

I ask a pretty girl if she wants to dance. She looks at me with disgust and says, “I’m not gay” in the snottiest valley girl voice I’ve ever heard. 

A short greasy dude will not leave me the fuck alone at the bar. I tell him multiple times “I am a lesbian.” He says, “me too” and in the same breath tells me I’ll like it if I try it. When the guy steps away to talk to his friend, three gay men surround me and buy me a drink and swear to keep him away from me for the rest of the night.

2am, drunk, cheering on my favorite local drag queen on stage. A contestant from Dr*g R*ce is in the audience, hanging out, supporting her friends. The straight girls next to me spot her and start shrieking at the top of their lungs and trying to get to her. Security escorts the contestant elsewhere so no one could get near her. Not a single straight person in the audience tips any of the performing queens. 

I’m by myself on the dance floor, feeling myself to Bey, as you do. A man comes up to me and starts dancing. After a minute, he starts grinding on me and tries to kiss me. I put my hand in his face and tell him I’m a lesbian. He says something very vulgar that I don’t completely remember because I was drunk af. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the dance floor completely. I end up on the patio with a beautiful butch girl and when I tell her what just happened, she offers to beat him up for me. 

A girl with a bachelorette party, telling me, with complete seriousness, that she was just discriminated against at the bar for being straight. What happened? The bartender didn’t pay attention to her immediately and she had to wait “forever” for her drink. 

Related: Almost every negative review of my favorite gay bar is by a straight person. At least half of them claim that the bartenders or bouncers discriminated against them. 

And then this one isn’t bad, it just made me laugh when it happened 

Guy: hey can you ask the bartender for a drink for me? They usually pay more attention to girls Me: oh baby not here they don’t lol Guy: ?? Me: This is a gay bar, sweetheart Guy: I… oh… *looks at the shirtless male bartenders, the go go boys, the rainbow flags, the drag queen behind me, the glitter everywhere* *walks away in a daze*

[iiamtrashqueenii]

i cant believe i made this with my own two hands, someone please take my computer away from me i cannot be trusted-