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Dear Princess Celestia, I didn't learn anything! I was right the entire time!

Fuck them ugly ass white boys and everything they do, let the hexes and cursed ruin their lives further!

Goodnight <3

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I haven't seen Oppenheimer yet but I'm surprised the girlies haven't made any edits of the dude with the song literally about him

#oppenheimer #music #thoughts #shitpost #Spotify

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I like should’ve made a separate character for Rollercoaster but I wasn’t using my sona at the time so I just started using em, but then I was drawing them a lot so it was easy to do little life comics with him so now we’re here. The ‘real world’ being the orange picture, basically my everyday of getting out of work, stripping down and enjoying whatever soda a bought for the week with a dumb YouTube video. And then in the other purple one we just have the story beat of Fortune and Solstice having a moment. The closeness is referring to a mental connection rather than physical, they just chilling like that cuz stupid metaphor whatever, without context it seems more intimate but it’s not

#doodle #sketch #funny animals #anthro #comic

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7/18/23

A beautiful overcast day. The sun is hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, I can look straight up at it and not go blind. It better stay that way.

Hour 1 - Set up, spush up wheelchairs, push up someone to the cancer unit, make a playlist, shit on company time. Hour 2 - Doodle, playlist, some war vet thought I was 14, 3 cars. Hour 3 - Doodle, call a guy a 12 year old for yelling at someone else; somehow still get tipped after that. (didn’t keep track after) 

Didn’t do my journal really at all today. Played with some bugs: 3 rolly pollies, 2 worms, a butterfly let me nudg it onto my finger ( Some poor lady fell behind me while I was distacted with the damn thing). Yhea really calm day, music makes my brain calm, makes it quiet. Getting self concious again, so much has been said about my voice I’m not liking it. I know it feels wrong, it’s tight in the upper back like I’m holding back being loud. Some guy thought I had a German accent, someone else sid I was too squeaky so I droped an octave.

#work #work notes

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Hate to say it but when the gear shift is on the steering wheel of a car and I slap that baby from park to drive I feel very slay. There’s a kind of transmasc euphoria that comes with driving a pre-2010 pickup truck that belongs to an old man

#To be fair I always have the most confidence while driving #Driving is hot sexy and slay

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7/11/23

No rain today, dissapointing. I feel like it will be a busy morning but overall a slow day. Yesterday was the record breaker, 23 cars, all on my own, without any issues. It kinda stinks here, like smell wise, like the faint smaell of a farm. Oh the lot is like empty, empty today. As least someone left a tip in my lockbox. I’m adding Hiccup to my kinlist beacuse that’s how it feels to do this job. I deal with beast of various sizes who all behave diffrently and I can easily transfer over over from “dragon to dragon” without thinking about it. I can’t belive I went the comedy route for the Pokemon zine, but like why the fuck not? Samurott is my partner Pokemon and I know it’s personality best. If you want to be happy is playing on loop in my head again. Damn it’s like someone just turned off the sun with that cloud that just covered the damn thing. The clouds themselves are moving extremly fast and yet there’s barely a breeze. Some clouds look strange, they’re very thin lines that make it look like a computer screen. DO NOT let the conspiracy teriost see this post. They’re just goofy clouds. It reminds me of being on the lake with how fast they’re going. I miss going to the lake.

I miss a lot of things. I miss the beach, I miss laying in the hot sand, I miss burrying myself in it. I miss getting knocked over by waves and choking on salty water that sunk into my lips to pucker them and make them taste sweet. I miss the symphony of sound that blened into one cry of waves crashing, seaguls cawing, people talking, the occasional squeal from a baby. I miss peeling my skin off a week later beacuse I always get sunburned no matter what. I miss hauling up water back to the car when it was time to go so that we could rinse off our feet to make sure no sand got in. I miss going to the shops accross the street that waft over the sweet and savory smells of food; the kitchy gift shops enticing me with useles trinkets I don’t need but needed beacuse they reminded me of the sea. I miss going to the arcade and having my sences overloaded with evrey machine ringing and singing “winner!”; the ticket machine’s cartoonish munching as it eats up someone’s jackpot. I miss the more solitary beach with it’s single shop at the top of the hill; stacked from top to bottom with treats and beach toys. I miss going to the slushy machine and filling my cup to the brim with red ice. I miss how my tounge would turn red from the coloring 

Notes:

Wake up in the morning / look over at the shelf / try to pick out a face / that I can put on myself / trip and fall / slam the wall / all the faces flying / god I hear them crying / God damnit leave me alone / god damnit go home

I need to find that car again. White Cadilac Imperial? 1950-60ish. Fucking beautiful beast and I mean BEAST. That thing was a god damn land yacht.

#thoughts #childhood #beach #work #work notes

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Paradoxally

I belive I’m both

Nothing

and also

Something.

Something capable of sending for storms

Something that calls for fire to overtake and choke forest

Something that makes bridges buckle thier knees and crumble down.

But I know the truth 

I can only ever preform the metaphors of these actions.

For I do nothing but

Cause a storm in my thoughts

Burn with my words

Let bridges break.

I am thoughts

I’m not the wind and rain

I am not my body

I’m not an endlessly straving fire

I am without form

I’m not the shaking earth reclaiming itself from humanity

I am a restless voice 

That will finally find peace 

When the world takes me back

Burned to ashes

Scattered to the sea

Burried deep beneeth

#poem #finally a poem i know #poetry #text post #text poetry

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I haven’t felt good about my body in a long time, but now I do and it just feels so sweet to have a moment’s peace. I don’t think I’ve ever really desired being muscular before but now that I’m a bit visably so beacuse of work it’s making me feel good. I enjoy feeling strong. I’ve been pretty athletic my whole life so I guess that having some kind of pysical activity after years of not doing much aside cardio makes me feel like me. On the flipside I know I’m still a bit underweight, kinda sad my ass is gone ngl, I had a good butt. I am delighted my boobs are way down, I want top surgery so goddamn badly so yhea the smaller the better so I can have a faster recovery time. Please note this is just how I feel about my body, for the love of fuck do not starve yourself to try and achive any body goals. I litterlarly just got covid and was depressed so I litterally wasted away, that is not a good thing and never be a good thing, do not be like me who tries to see the positive in evrey situation. Anywho back to the positives, I’m happy I’m filling out and that passive exercise is making me feel good. Also I have a tan???? I’ve never been able to tan, ever. Like I’m paper fucking white and now I look normal, but it’s so funny how I’ll probably have to get a darker foundation. Suns bleaching my hair so thats nice too. Still dealing with acne but that’s just hereditary so whatever I don’t really care.

#Thoughts #body

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The other week I posted the backlogs of my work diary entries and I caught myself insinuating that the security guard who was creeping on me could have been a potential predator given he assumed I was 17. And it's like I know what people might think like "Oh don't flatter yourself, no one thinks that" but I'm in a work environment where people keep asking me what grade I am in high school on the daily so I legitimately don't know what I look like to people. All I know is I really don't like how it came off like he was somehow "restraining himself" until he found out I'm 22.

However, I know it's an awful thing to insinuate on anyone. I used to have this awful paranoia after having a legitimate one come after my friends. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, thankfully I didn't as the person I pointed a finger at was a complete stranger during a private conversation so they'll never know, but like that's actually harmful and a miserable way to see the world. I used to be really into true crime, dateline, that never gave me the balls to actually deal with anything, just the gall and audacity to point fingers at innocent people for having "red flags" (so yhea doing much better now that's been cut off cold turkey). Though I did yell at the actual mother fucker once behind the safety of an alt account, so still no real balls.

No matter what he thought my age was, his behavior was wrong and made me feel legitimately unsafe. Since people give me tips and sometimes nurses give me snacks, I didn't think anything of it when he brought me food too. I didn't realize he was trying to build trust. He knows he's in the wrong too since it's been two weeks now and he has not even come close to my area. He had me believing that it was part of his job to just walk by and see how things were. The closest he's been since is the parking lot across the helipad, which is a good distance. I can not express how much this dude was in my personal space. He was actively cornering me between my podium and the wall, looking down at me like a fucking meal. Not to mention he definitely knew it was wrong bc he was spouting some shit about some old guy in the ER making girls feel uncomfortable; kinda all like "Oh good thing I'm not like that right?" Even though he goes and does the same exact thing to me. I don't get it I really don't get it.

So anyways ACAB, fuck all cops because they're all awful people, especially in work environments. Dude's really fucking dumb too like I don't know how anything I said could've been interpreted as anything other than "I'm tolerating your presence because I have told you directly I don't like bootlickers, I don't think it's 'badass' to be a cop ready to hurt people."

#thoughts #work #creep #ACAB

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Hey so like fuck you to whoever taught my dad the word gaslighting beacuse he’s using it like a 17yo girl on TikTok whenever someone dosen’t remmebr something as small as where something was placed. 

#Thoughts

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I'VE BEEN WAITING ACTUAL YEARS FOR THIS VERSION OF THIS SONG TO ACTUALLY BE UPLOADED TO SPOTIFY I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

#Music #Spotify

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Attended a funeral service for a PC last night. Fly high queen

#posic #rip PC #twitch #splatoon streamer

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11- 12 year old me was real as shit for blasting this shit while playing Minecraft

#music #thoughts #I hate the brittish #I was having my pirate phase so it came u when looking for sea shanties #I fucking love AC Black Flag bruh #Spotify

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My favorite thing to do at work is leave the radio on in people's cars while I move them to my lot so I can find new songs. I usually have two regulars who leave 50's oldies and "frank sinatra" stations on which is nice. But I was really happy that I caught the tail end of this song because I'm in love with it.

#Music #Work Music #Valetunes #Spotify

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#yhea #reblog

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Had the most surreal experience with this song today.

Nothing like wandering around the belly of a dying mall with this song echoing all around you as your try to search for signs of life as you pass by store after store barricaded shut forever

#music #dead mall #life #Spotify