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Non-Negotiable traits of a happy couple life!
In the past two decades, I have been lucky enough to gain deeper insights not just about myself, but about gay culture around, Wonderful relationships and the complex psychological nuances of two men loving & living in hetro-normative environments.
Got lots of gratitude towards authors like Alan Downs for his book "The Velvet Rage" and Andrew Matthews for "Happiness in Hard Times" which supported me profoundly during my journey. I wish every gay man in India would go through their valuable content and gain clarity beyond physical needs & desi-social bubble of hetro-marriages.
Often times, I jump to PsychologyToday and read some interesting content on human relationships, mindset, impact of words on our heart and much more. Even in the past, when I would see Oprah Winfrey's talk show about manifesting the love of your life it talked about "The Miracle List or The Clarity List".
Some of the few qualities or traits I noticed myself and often look forward in a person are:
1. Emotional Availability - the ultimate quality every person could have and develop consciously in order to sustain their love.
2. Financial Intelligence - extremely important! A financially healthy couple enjoys life's most rewarding experiences. Besides, healthy savings make for healthy investments & contributions towards collective good in many ways.
3. Care & Compassion towards your spouse/partner, no matter what it is. The ability of having the most difficult conversation, without a layer of judgement, ensures that both don't offend anyone. A little bit of compassion can go a long way at times.
4. Enriched Vocabulary that goes beyond killer low quality or offensive or belittling words such as "you're wrong, hate you, dude, bitch, ass , I know.. " etc.
Wouldn't you be happy if you both communicate much better than the herd out there?
5. Being a good Listener - at times we just need someone to listen to us. Walk together and try to see their perspective, who knows he just needs your booster hug - which means a lot!
6. Being Fun or Adding that element in day to day life. what's the point being a gay couple if you aren't "happy happy" :D ;p
7. Understanding - your partner, their nature, their attachment style, their abilities and setbacks or flaws or what they are working on and supporting them in smallest possible ways. Probably having honest conversation around it.
8. Giving Space to one other, without tantrums yet, being there as a strong pillar of support. By the way, when was the last time you simply stood and gazed the rising Sun all alone?
9. Having some Hobbies - be it unique or similar, do it alone or together, our hobbies are the juice of a creative life, aren't they?
10. Conscious about Health - be it mental, physical or emotional a conscious effort even if in small quantities done consistently, is a great investment to enchance personal + professional life. It could just be meditation, streching with your partner together, giving one other healing massage, or going for a jog/walk few days a week.
A healthy couple is a happy couple!
There could be so many more... gosh! I need to see my manifestation journal now. I had noted down so many infact worked on it myself.
Lemme search the journal and get back with another post!
Till then.... :D Happy reading.
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Shiva & Shakti - Yang & Yin
There is a universal energy of Yin and Yang in each one of us. In some one side weighs heavier, some are 50-50 or 80-20 or 75-25 or 65-35 ratios. Whatever the mix, we all are divine masculine and divine feminine together as ONE.
Oftentimes, in the mainstream gay culture, people have a fixed mindset on Top / Bottom role. Yet, there exists the loving versatile - a universal principle of Yin & Yang. Furthermore, the person may lean slightly towards one side and that is completely normal. We don't always have to dig intense, sometimes just a combo of foreplays and sideways are fun too! We all vibrate at various levels be it - physical, psychological, emotional through life based on situations in that moment.
Afterall, we are still guys as is. Who says Pink color was for women only and blue for men? Isn't the sky colored blue for all of us, aren't pink flowers - pink for men & women equally? So, get over this hetronormative narrative of putting everything into two boxes - Male or Female. Rather, the imperative question is - Can your love sustain & maintain this balance throughout life?
When it comes to forming a gay couple (family), - there are two husbands balancing their lives with understanding & care. I believe that the same Shiva & Shakti, or Yin & Yang plays a vital role to balance their lives.
No, I am not talking co-dependancy here. Its a mutual co-existance that works better. Sometimes you do something, sometimes he does it for you - all with love & understanding (not compromising or suffering).
In some cases, one of the partner may be more alpha male, external driven, an extrovert, works a corporate job or has a business, an entrepreneur, larger bread winner may be, while the other may be the nurturing soul who supports his partner in many ways, helps with finances, decision making, takes care of the home/gets things done, nurtures the stronger one with his loving side, works from home or may be a creative one, consultant, healer, freelancer, investor/trader, etc. The socially shy guy who is a hug back home, compassionate, motivating and caring to the core.
I pretty much lean towards that nurturing side. Well, most introverts and many ambiverts do! But that doesn't mean you label them "bottom or weak or femme or dependent" or anything demeaning. Can you view it beyond a typical indian hetro-normative lens?
I mean, its okay to be straight-acting, but don't borrow all their beliefs or conservative mindsets in our loving gay partnership!
Our existence, expression and sexual roles are three different aspects. Let the chemistry be between the two of us decide it.
Don't fall into the trap of being dictated, labelled or steered by external people/straight friends/other lgbt whom we interact with in our lives. The two of us, are a unique family - a soul bonding.
And are you ready to accept this person fully and evolve together as a beautifully complimenting couple who support one other in every phase of life? Would you like to grow old with this guy and take a couple photo when you both cross 70 ?
Do you have COUPLE GOALS ? Do you feel that you can create the rest of your life, the best of your life with this person together? Do you have a vision or some ideas as to how you wanna live together, travel, work, support any social cause/welfare project? Ever wondered why are you on earth or how can you add to the collective consciousness/collective good with your deeds?
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Just like Nelly Furtado says, "I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away..."
My love for aviation and "the window seat please..." :)
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Far away from the mainstream humanized popular culture, lies unconditional love of mother Earth.
Her laughter & joy is heard like giggles, felt in the form of waves flowing through the rocks, her protective side is seen with those gorgeous snow capped mountains... chilled out standing their chest out, guarding the regions they surround!
2017 Himachal Getaway was a mesmerising trip.
So wish to go back there, hopefully very soon!
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Say Hello! An Intro, from an introvert.
Humble, Sober, Caring, Independent, soft-spoken and kinda homely guy who comes with some hobbies, goals & couple-dreams. Love to travel, long drives, mother nature, coloring pages, cooking, feeding birds, music and dance. Aspires to manifest a loving soulmate & live a purpose driven life together.
I am an investment professional (invest in capital markets for a living), With a radically wonderful corporate background over the last decade from digital media.
I am at the point where I want to share my life's journey with another amazing person who can match me consciously, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually.
I lean towards the nurturing side more than the competitive & typical alpha male. That is also a gift in its own way with qualities like empathy, creativity, caring, homeliness - more inward and less into external world. Someone whom you can come to home and be your authentic self.
A conscious + vibrant soul , slightly introvert and looking for a right one to open up to. Expressive, very romantic yet practical, believe in love, co-operative when it comes to the bedroom (yeah bring on those fantasies - of course in limits!).
Loyalty and devotion are two of my lunar strengths! I do enjoy helping others (if they are authentic/not faking it).
Highly sensitive to people's vibes and vibes of surroundings.
I am fascinated towards healers, yoga teachers, trainers, counselors, coaches and alike, and also open to anyone who is spiritually inclined. Someone like doctor, medical professional, an architect, an investor or finance sector professional could be a good match too. Coz, there is more than meets the eye, and it all starts with a wonderful "Hi...!"
Just don't be rude, bitchy, pessimistic, negative Nancy or Sarcastic - or else I will vanish like an airplane in clouds :D
P.S. - That cute little duck was clicked in Manali, Himachal :D
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OMG! Did you just ask me for a date night?
Wait a minute, allow me to share something pls :D
Having evolved mentally, consciously over the past seven years or so, I’ve come to understand romance and physical intimacy as something kinda special or sacred, granted not many gay men quite view it that way.
I’ve realised that there is no way I can enter that space of romantic and/or physical union with a new person without first having created a special bond with them and gotten to know who they are, where they have come from and where they are going on a deeper, more fundamental level.
With awareness of the energetic truths around sex , it’s my belief that sharing that experience with someone is so powerful and special, not just on physical but also on multidimensional & bio-energetic levels, that the right foundation must be created for it to happen. Only then it manifests into something joyful, healthy and wonderfully soul nourishing, rather than detrimental to those involved.
Emm... ever heard of AURA and how it mixes up? Coz people have strong energies or agendas, so might as well be consciously selective.
Once I am in that space with someone though, I’m a cheeky, playful little tiger! Very passionate, loves to be happy and make my partner happy. Appreciate my partner and ensure we both are satisfied and wake up high vibe after the act in one other's arms.
At the end of the day, a light-hearted guy and a bit of a goof, notty giggles, little fantasies & twinkle in my eye!
#gay dating#spiritual dating#energy cleansing#consciousrelationships#consciousdating#spiritualdating#spiritual singles#hookup culture
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Single at 40! Here's how & why...
Its been over 9 years now that I've been solidly single. Took a lot of time and as I’ve evolved, so have my feelings about romance and intimacy. Also have taken some time out from the whole thing after separation from former partner, then career changes & much more to recalibrate really. And then came the change from metro city to a small town - with homophobic environment! How do you meet a really nice person who'll not marry a woman here?
As a young gay guy in my twenties and thirties, I often struggled (and still do) with mainstream gay culture’s transactional approach to hookups. Yeah, I am quite a mix of demisexual & sapiosexual romantic lover material. Its so hard for me to just go out with some random guy in 15 mins of chat and hookup at his place! Not my type!
Hookup culture seems so disposable and superficial. It quite often left me feeling puzzled yet I am hopeful. There is someone for me! Someone truly special, genuinely loving & worth it! Finally, I am ready again!
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What types of healing modalities do you practice or would you like to learn?
I am aware of Cosmic/Pranic Healing through hands. Also meditate and know how to send healing mediation.
I guess, I am good at beginner level massage - the one that relieves stress and heals back/foot pain. Learnt it at home as I have senior parent.
I would like to learn: Tai Chi and Yoga lets say in next 2-3yrs
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Future Plans? 5-Years ahead where do you see yourself?
Five yrs ahead, I am happily settled with my gay soulmate and we live a loving purpose driven life. Each contributing to one other & the world in our own ways, without any judgements!
Both having own unique qualities / strengths and support each other like Yin and Yang.
Surrounded by a good circle of support and a loving tribe that's conscious, abundant, prosperous, connected to nature and living a vibrant life!
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What type of travel do you enjoy?
In terms of domestic - In the past have been to mountains, oceans, snow-capped hills and beach destinations and a few religious temples in India. Here's a shot taken by me at Manali, Himachal back in 2017
I love to travel and have a safe experience.
Oh yes, flights & trains are both good these days but flights do save more time, and have less noisy crowd! I have a thing for a window seat on a flight and being in the clouds!
Not very fussy about food - needs to be hygienic & healthy, so I can adjust. Just keep me warm n cozy. :D ;)
As far as stay goes, a Clean, Classy, Safe & hygenic, comfy place to stay is non-negotiable. Not into cheap thrills, you see!
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WHAT MAKES ME SMILE...
Seeing my plants grow and bloom :)
Watching chirpy little birds and feeding them :) :)
Seeing the moon rise, twinkling stars at nite
The glimpse of the rise Sun
Having a happy meal (fav fruits/food)
Helping a friend in need and seeing them happy later!
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I Believe In Miracles! Do you?
There are days when I immerse myself into hobbies like these... Creativity during #MeTime :)
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My Magnificent Match (in poetic way)
You are a man who's single, gay, 36 to 49
Doing things that are nice and not very notty!
A magnificent gay match who is kind + wise.
You would be my life’s best friend and inspiration,
Coz I am not here outta sheer desperation.
A body thats human,
But your soul shines with divine white light!
You never judge me saying that way of mine is so gay…
Aren’t we born unique, to be our very own way?
You don't make friends, by going on their looks,
for love & integrity are seldom shown by crooks!
Its not about traditions or religion or caste,
If we're only spiritual, our marriage will last.
Unlike the other men, your values are Zen,
That’s why you get stars, say 10 out of 10 !
Experiences may have made you go grey on your head,
That being said, a lot of books you might've read!
Committed is our love, like the mandarin duck,
For both of us aren’t here for a one night fuck!
But still if you’re curious about my bedroom style,
I make pure love and I think am kinda versatile!
Sensual & passionate is how my touch feels,
Making love together, makes us go head over heels.
Would you hold my hand and live a life of purpose,
Unlike the others, humping & jumping like beasts in circus!
From my parents & the world, there's so much we've learnt,
Be it forgiveness, tolerance, patience or ego that's burnt!
We both live a life that's free from any past baggage,
One of my dreams is our lovely gay-marriage!
I live with gratitude for the universe for it to manifest,
Hold my hand for life, and my head on ur chest!
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