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dilly-oh · 2 months

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That was fun!!!

Now to go back to hibernating in my cave for another year lol

Hey guys! We are excited to announce that the masterpost for KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2024 is ready to share!

But before we show you the list, we want to thank everyone who participated in the event. All your creations were amazing, and we were excited to see each and every one of them!

Here are this year’s stats:

- Total number of creations: 30

Fics: 18

Art: 12

- Total word count: 144 487

- Most inspiring prompt: Love Potion

- Least inspiring prompt: Love Languages

Once again, thank you all so much for contributing, and helping keep the kakairu love alive!

And now, here is the list of wonderful creations! Please indulge to your heart’s content, and give some love to all these amazing creators!

Day 1: Meet cute and Found family

Encontros Adoráveis, a sweet fic in Portuguese by @bansheeangel

Rating: Gen, CW: None, Word count: 3.5k

Lost and Found Family, a hilarious fic by @dilly-oh

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 2k

Amazing art, by @ritartist42

Day 2: Love potion and TLC

True Love, a fantastic fic by @my-private-tsukuyomi

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 6.1k

A Potion for the Ages, a wonderful fic by @mtnikolle

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1k

Raw, a deep fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Mature, CW: dub con (not sexual), PTSD, heavy angst, Word count: 6.7k

Lovestruck, a sweet fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Teen, CW: light unwanted advances, Word count: 16.7k

A funny comic, by @dilly-oh

Wonderful art, by @ritartist42

Day 3: Crushes and Idiots in Love

Crush, a great fic by @dilly-oh

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 2.6k

Stalker, an amusing fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 8.4k

Excursion, a cute fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Gen, CW: None, Word count: 3.4k

Cute art, by @ritartist42

Day 4: Ballads & Poetry and Shall We Dance?

Adults, a sweet fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Mature, CW: implied underage drinking, Word count: 7.5k

A great comic, by @dilly-oh

Adorable art, by @ritartist42

Day 5: Exes and Memories

Sometimes Goodbye Is a Second Chance, a wonderful fic by @paxohana

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 9k

Healing, a tender fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Mature, CW: heavy angst, PTSD, mentions of abuse, mention of non & dub con, Word count: 6.6k

A great text meme, by @dilly-oh

Wonderful art, by @ritartist42

Day 6: Love Languages and Secrets

Truth Be told, a sweet fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 2k

Gimme a Break, a wonderful fic by @dilly-oh

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.5k

Lovely art, by @ritartist42

Day 7: Happily Ever After and Valentine’s Day

The Cursed Prince, a thrilling fic by @kakairu-shrine

Rating: Mature, CW: graphic depictions of violence, gore, heavy angst, suicidal thoughts, temporary MCD, Word count: 51k

Adorable art, by @snufkepo

Sweet art, by @dilly-oh

Wonderful art, by @ritartist42

Amazing art, by @renegad3rogu3

Other: Many Prompts

Teaching Pains, a great fic by @virtualcarrot

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 8k (so far)

KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2024, a wonderful fic by @hkandiu

Rating: Gen, CW: None, Word count: 7.6k

If we have missed you, or made a mistake somewhere, please let us know ASAP so we can fix the problem!!!

Thank you to everyone who participated, and to everyone who has supported us! Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to run Valentine’s Week, so we really appreciate your involvement 🥰

If you still need more KakaIru after this, come and check out the Kakairu Rocks forum, where we have plenty more for you to see & do!

Thank you very much! We hope to see you around!

#kakairu valentine's week 2024 #kakairu.rocks #event masterpost #kakairu events #naruto event #kakairu fanfic #kakairu fanart #kakairu #kkir #kakashi x iruka

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dilly-oh · 3 months

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Old man ninjas in love <3

Drawn for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 7 Prompts: Happily Ever After and Valentine's Day.

#kakairu #hatake kakashi #umino iruka #naruto #fanart #happily ever after #valentine's day #old men in love #kakairu.rocks #kakairu valentine's week 2024

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dilly-oh · 3 months

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Gimme a Break

“Kakashi, what’s wrong?” Iruka asks from across the table. “You’ve barely touched your food.”

“Sorry, I’m already full. You’re such a feast for the eyes,” Kakashi replies instantly with a cheeky wink.

Iruka snorts at him and returns to his meal.

They’re on their third date, at one of the nicer restaurants in Konoha. The place is a little swanky but not too snooty about it, fancy enough to show Iruka he’s serious but not expensive enough to cripple his wallet for the rest of the week.

And Kakashi is serious. This isn’t just some casual fling with no strings attached, and he wants to prove that to Iruka. He truly, genuinely likes the man, and is eager to see where this goes. He even rushed through a last-minute mission assignment earlier that day to make it back on time for their date. Kakashi wouldn’t have missed it for the world, not even for several cracked ribs, a dislocated arm, a fractured pelvis, and a sprained ankle.

Which he has, but that’s beside the point.

Iruka doesn’t need to know. Honestly, it’s not even that bad.

He holds back a scream as he reaches for the salt.

Okay, maybe it is pretty bad.

The rest of the meal passes, the talk a bit stiff and stilted. Kakashi can’t really carry a conversation right now, seeing as talking and/or breathing is quite excruciating. His clothing hides the worst of the injuries, not to mention the plethora of bruises blossoming all over his body. He just needs to make it through the date, and then he’ll stagger his way to the nearest hospital. Piece of cake.

Speaking of cake, a waiter heads toward them, intent on offering a dessert menu, but Kakashi locks eyes with the man and he freezes in place, goes white as a sheet, then hurriedly backs away through the swinging doors into the kitchen. Another man, trembling in fear, is shoved out and cautiously brings them the check. Kakashi feels a bit bad and gives him a generous tip.

“I’ll walk you home,” he says, because above all else, he is a gentleman.

Also Iruka is wearing a deliciously tight pair of slacks and you can really see his rockin’ ass.

It’s the only thing distracting Kakashi from the walk from hell.

Every step is agony. With each one, he can feel his ribs grind together, pelvis creaking, his entire body howling in pain. He manages to hide his limp, mentally cursing that he’d chosen a restaurant so far away from Iruka’s apartment. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, they arrive at the complex, and then Kakashi remembers.

Iruka lives on the third floor.

He lets Iruka climb the stairs first just so he has something to motivate him.

They reach the door without him passing out. Kakashi calls that a win. Now to make a quick exit.

“Well, that was fun,” he begins, already slinking away. “I’ll see you again-”

Iruka starts fiddling with his keys.

Kakashi stops.

That’s it. The signal. Iruka’s giving him the go-ahead. Kakashi had been polite before, only kissing the man’s hand at the end of their previous dates, but when Iruka is the one offering, all bets are off.

Kakashi wants so badly to lean in and kiss the other man, ravish him until he’s gasping for breath and weak in the knees.

But he can’t. He can’t.

Like, physically. His ribs will snap.

So he just stands there like an idiot as the moment drags on, eventually reaching an awkward stage where it’s obvious Kakashi has missed the cue. Iruka finally finds the key he’s been looking for and slots it into the keyhole.

“I had a nice time,” he says, looking back over his shoulder at Kakashi, who gulps. He needs to leave before he decides broken ribs are worth it.

“See you again,” he repeats, then turns to go, a wave of relief washing away his lingering guilt and regret. Now to head to the nearest clinic, get treated, and leave Iruka none the wiser-

“Actually,” Iruka says, and Kakashi’s stomach drops in dread. He slowly turns to see Iruka unlock his front door and hold it open invitingly.

“…Would you like to come in?” he asks in a sultry voice.

Kakashi freezes.

…Oh.

Oh NO.

This can’t be happening.

Iruka can’t be inviting him in right now. Because that would only mean one thing. One certain thing that Kakashi would very, very much like to do with Iruka, but currently lacks the physical capability to do so at the moment. It was one matter to turn down a kiss, quite another to turn down this lavish offering.

Which he has to. Kakashi’s pretty sure it’ll kill him.

Iruka’s still standing there, waiting expectantly. Kakashi scrambles for an answer, fumbling words out of his mouth before his brain can even catch up.

“No thanks,” he blurts out.

The silence that follows is heavy enough to smother him to death, which he would gladly welcome at the moment.

“…Oh,” Iruka says, deflating with disappointment. “Okay. I…I just thought that-”

“I mean, not that I’m not flattered,” Kakashi goes on, babbling nonsensically while he flounders for a plausible excuse. “I am, really I am, but…this is, uh, a bit of a bad time for me. I have to…go home and…” His mind blanks, a fuzz of static replacing every coherent thought in his head. “…Water…my…plant?”

Now the silence becomes thorny enough to draw blood. He’ll welcome that, too.

“God, just forget it.” Iruka’s expression is tight with anger and hurt. “If you’re not interested in me, just say so. You don’t have to waste my time like an asshole.” He steps into his apartment with an irritated huff.

“No, Iruka, wait-” Kakashi reaches out a hand just as Iruka swings the door shut.

*Crunch!*

“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry!” Iruka yanks the door open as Kakashi staggers back, clutching his hand to his chest. “I really didn’t mean to do that. Are your fingers okay?”

“Yep, they’re fine,” Kakashi grits out. “Totally fine. I’m just gonna-”

“Don’t be stupid, they’re broken! I can see how crooked they are from here!” Iruka cries, striding forward. “Hold still, let me see-” He reaches out and takes Kakashi’s arm. The one that’s dislocated.

So naturally, he screams.

“What?!” Iruka snatches his hand away and jerks back in surprise. “What’d I do?! I just barely touched you! Here-” He tries again, touching Kakashi’s chest this time. Right where the broken ribs are.

He screams again.

Iruka goes very still, staring intently at Kakashi as his eyes narrow with suspicion. Kakashi goes still as well, like a small prey animal desperately trying to avoid the attention of a hungry predator. He feels a bead of sweat trickle down his back as he waits for the incoming assault. It doesn’t take long.

“Kakashi for the love of FUCK have you been injured this whole TIME?!” Iruka roars at him.

“…Yes,” Kakashi finally admits, “but it’s not that bad-”

Iruka jabs a finger into his ribs. Kakashi cuts off in a high-pitched yelp. Iruka pokes him again, in a different place, and again. With each touch, Kakashi squeals in pain and flinches away. Iruka throws his hands up.

“What the fuck! Is there any part of you that isn’t hurt?!”

“…My face,” Kakashi says after a pause.

“Okay, good, hold still.” Iruka raises a fist.

“Let me explain!” Kakashi cries desperately. Iruka waits, fist still cocked. “I had a mission earlier today. It…didn’t go well, to say the least. I may have several injuries that…need attending.”

“I can’t believe you hid this from me.” Iruka’s still fuming. “How did I not notice?!”

“I’m good at keeping secrets.” Kakashi shrugs, then winces.

“How severe are your injuries?” Iruka demands to know, crossing his arms. Kakashi hesitates.

“…Non-life threatening.”

“Answer the question before that changes.”

“Okay, fine.” Kakashi gives in with a huff. “I have a dislocated arm, a sprained ankle, a hairline fracture on my pelvis, and a few cracked ribs.” He pauses. “Also, some broken fingers.” He pauses again. “And I kinda stubbed my toe walking up the steps earlier.”

Iruka just gapes at him, flabbergasted. Kakashi tries again.

“…You can kiss them all better if you like-”

“Are you an IDIOT?!” Iruka cuts him off. “Why the fuck didn’t you go to a HOSPITAL?!”

“I didn’t want to miss our date,” Kakashi says weakly. Iruka stops, blinking rapidly for several moments.

“…Oh,” he says in a small voice. His eyes drop to the ground. He looks…chastened. Almost shy. He fidgets a little, shifting his feet awkwardly. “I…I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so important to you.” Iruka glances up at him beneath those heavy lashes, biting his lip.

There it is again. The signal. Kakashi sure as fuck isn’t going to miss it this time. Not for anything.

He leans in for a kiss.

And promptly faints dead away.

---

Kakashi wakes up several hours later to find himself tucked away in a hospital bed, covered in bandages and hooked up to several monitors and an IV drip. There’s a small bouquet of flowers on his bedside table with a note attached. He almost passes out again reaching for it, but just barely manages to snag the piece of paper with his fingertips and carefully unfolds it.

Next time I’m going to be the reason you break a hip -Iruka, it reads, followed by a little heart.

Kakashi can’t wait.

-End-

(Written for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 6 prompt: Secrets.)

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanfic #secrets #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #kakairu.rocks #rated teen for language

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dilly-oh · 3 months

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Mizuki: remember when we dated

Iruka: I remember faking every orgasm if that's what you mean

Kakashi: lol get wrecked *high-fives Iruka*

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #kakairu.rocks #exes #memories #kakairu valentine's week 2024

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dilly-oh · 3 months

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Lazy sensei drives a hard bargain.

Drawn for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024 Day 4 Prompt: Ballads and Poetry.

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanart #kakairu.rocks #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #ballads and poetry

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dilly-oh · 3 months

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Crush

“Kakashi, for fuck’s sake, it’s your turn,” Asuma growled around his cigarette, holding out the report as they stood in the hallway outside the mission office. “It was your turn the last ten turns. You ain’t squirrelin’ outta this shit again.”

“I need to go water my plants,” Kakashi said, slithering away from the others as he tried to make a quick getaway. Genma stepped to the side, blocking his path.

“Come on, man. That cute Chunin with the ponytail is at the desk. You know, the one you have a crush on?”

Kakashi froze in the act of levering the nearby window open, snapping around to give Genma a look of pure outrage.

“Excuse me?”

“You. Chunin. Crush,” Genma repeated slowly.

“What am I, fucking five?” Kakashi narrowed his visible eye. “I’m a grown-ass man who kills people for a living. I’m feared throughout all the nations as Sharingan Kakashi. I’m a fucking legend. I don’t get crushes.” He paused. “And even if I did have one on him, how would you even know?” Genma shrugged.

“Cuz you’re always walking into walls and shit whenever you’re near him.”

“I do NOT-” Kakashi began, then promptly kicked over the wastebin next to the door, scattering trash all over the floor. Literally everyone in the mission room snapped around and stared at him accusingly.

Even the Chunin. Who was, admittedly, very cute.

“You’d better clean that up,” he said, his tone that of a disapproving teacher about to mete out punishment to an unruly student.

Okay he wasn’t that cute.

…Godammit yes he was.

Kakashi hurriedly shoved all the trash back into the bin, slapped Asuma in the face with the report, and bolted out the window.

---

It kept happening.

Kakashi was just minding his own business, buying groceries at the local market (because even trained killers needed to eat) when he saw the Chunin fondling some melons, and suddenly the pyramid of eggplants he’d been perusing had collapsed, a wave of them tumbling down and rolling all over the floor in a vegetable tsunami. The store manager started shouting and Kakashi decided he’d just order takeout as he slipped out the back exit.

At the laundromat, he caught sight of the Chunin folding his tighty-whiteys and somehow mismeasured the appropriate amount of laundry soap, resulting in the washing machine foaming itself to death like a rabid dog. Kakashi had to put it down with a Chidori and then escape through a window amidst the ensuing chaos.

He knocked down an entire shelf at the library when he saw the other man bending over to reach a low book. He quickly teleported out of there before the man could turn around and see him standing ankle-deep in porn.

Late one night, he was leaping along the rooftops and spotted the Chunin at an outdoor restaurant, seated at a table with friends, head thrown back in raucous laughter. Kakashi sailed through the air, eyes glued to the sight, so he didn’t see the billboard until it was too late.

It couldn’t go on like this.

---

“Okay you might have a point,” Kakashi said. Genma gave a snort.

“Of course I do.”

“I don’t even know his name-”

“Iruka.”

“Iruka? Oh GOD, even his name is fucking adorable.” Kakashi covered his face with his hands and took a deep, calming breath. “…Who else knows?”

“Everyone, Kakashi,” Genma said flatly. “Everyone knows. Even the Hokage knows.”

“Alright then.” Kakashi straightened with a determined air. “It seems pretty obvious what I need to do.” Genma stared at him for a long moment, chewing on his senbon.

“…Actually talk to the man and have a heartful confession about your true feelings?”

“Fuck no. Avoid him for the rest of my life.”

“Oh thank God I thought you were gonna say ‘kill him’.”

“Maybe I should start avoiding you, too.” Kakashi narrowed his eyes. “My plan will work, just you wait. I’m not called a genius for nothing.”

---

“Kakashi, meet your new mission partner,” the Sandaime said, standing in the doorway of his office and patting Iruka proudly on the shoulder.

Kakashi nearly spit out his tea. Through his mask.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he choked out. This mission debriefing had gone to shit, and he’d been sitting there all of five seconds. The Sandaime frowned at him, wrinkles deepening with displeasure.

“I will not have you looking down on young Iruka here simply because he’s a Chunin,” he said firmly, taking a seat at his desk. “What he lacks in experience he more than makes up with sheer determination. He will be a great asset for this two-man mission and I hand-picked him for exactly that reason.”

“Understood,” Kakashi said, switching to mission mode in the vain attempt it would help distract from the overwhelming presence of the other man. It didn’t. Iruka took a seat right next to him, their thighs so close Kakashi could almost feel his body heat. He pushed his chair away a few inches for some breathing room and knocked over a potted plant.

“You two will be travelling deep into the Forest of Death,” the Hokage explained. Kakashi hid a wince. The Forest of Death has worsened over the years, rotting from the inside like a fruit gone bad. It had devolved into a festering jungle filled with mutated beasts that would messily devour their bodies and environmental hazards that would devour their chakra. But as long as they were careful-

Iruka crossed his legs and Kakashi bumped a pile of papers off the Hokage’s desk.

Yeah, they were in trouble.

“Your mission consists of two parts,” the Hokage went on. “The first is to reach these coordinates.” He handed the pair a scrap of paper with a set of numbers scribbled on it. “The second part is in this.” He held out a small, innocuous scroll. “It contains special instructions, only to be read once you’ve reached the site. Not before. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Kakashi said with grim resignation as he accepted the scroll and tucked it safely away. He just needed to get through this mission as fast as humanly possible, then he could go back to smothering his emotions under a metaphorical pillow. It would just be a few hours. He could DO this.

“I’m looking forward to working with you,” Iruka said, giving him a dazzling smile.

Kakashi spilled his cup of tea all over his lap.

…It was going to be a long mission.

---

The trek through the Forest of Death lived up to its name. It was a long, arduous journey through the dark, twisted woods, fraught with danger at every turn. Kakashi was on edge, painfully aware that, with one misstep, nearly everything in the jungle, plant and animal included, was capable of killing him at a moment’s notice.

That is, if Iruka didn’t kill him first.

Kakashi fell on an anthill and suffered a dozen venomous stings when the man decided to adjust his ponytail.

He walked into a tree and was nearly strangled by sentient vines when Iruka wiped his mouth after taking a drink from his canteen.

Kakashi tripped onto a patch of brambles which started actively draining his blood when Iruka raised an arm to wipe his brow and his shirt rode up.

And that was only in the first hour.

Iruka himself was an ideal companion. He followed Kakashi’s lead without question, trusting his judgement and experience with nothing but polite obedience, even attempting to start up a conversation once or twice. After Kakashi bit his tongue trying to reply, he took to ignoring the other man, who quickly caught on and fell into a sullen silence.

I can’t take much more of this, Kakashi thought to himself darkly as he slogged through the mud hours later. Every inch of his body ached, multiple wounds stinging and burning. Or maybe that was just the leeches. Konoha’s about to have a Missing-Nin if we don’t get there soon-

“I think…I think we’ve arrived,” Iruka cut in, checking his compass and studying his map. “Yes, these should be the correct coordinates. We’re here.”

Thank fuck. The nightmare was nearly over. Kakashi slipped the scroll out of his pocket and unrolled it. The orders contained within were rather short and simple. A single sentence. Four words, actually.

Ask him out already.

Kakashi stared at the message for a full ten seconds, then promptly set it alight with a Katon.

"What the fuck!” Iruka cried.

“Meant for my eyes only.” Kakashi stamped on the ashes, grinding them into the dirt. “I was to burn it after reading to leave no evidence.”

“Oh, well, I guess that means it’s my turn to read this one,” Iruka said, pulling out a second scroll from his pack. Kakashi hurriedly snatched it away and ripped it open, scanning the contents.

Pussy.

Kakashi burned that one, too.

“Seriously, what the fuck!” Iruka cried louder.

“Mission’s done, we’re heading home,” Kakashi stated, then turned and took a step.

And promptly sank up to his thigh in the suddenly soupy ground.

…Oh fuck.

“Don’t move!” Iruka shouted in warning. “It’s quicksand.”

“No shit,” Kakashi snapped out, then quickly shut up as he sank to his waist. He went perfectly still, arms out to keep himself afloat in case he sank further. “Calm down, I’m fine.” He closed his eyes, concentrating as he released a flare of chakra to push him free of the mire. The quicksand quickly gobbled up. “…Okay, maybe panic a little, I’m not fine.” The quicksand seemed to have developed a taste, and was now steadily devouring his chakra with a voracious appetite. “Okay, panic a lot. It’s draining my chakra.”

“Damn, hold on.” Iruka started rifling through his pack and pulled out a coil of rope. “Here, we’ll use this to get you out- actually wait, I think you’re close enough for me to reach out and grab you. Quick, give me your hand-”

Iruka stuck out his hand. Kakashi’s stomach did a little flip.

“Fuck no, I’m not touching you. Throw the rope.”

“What is your problem with me?” Iruka demanded. “I hardly know you and you already hate me.”

“I do not hate you,” Kakashi ground out through gritted teeth. “Throw the damn rope.”

“Not until you tell me what your deal is.”

“There is no deal.”

“Bullshit! You’ve been cold and distant this entire time. You’ve barely spoken a single word to me in hours. The fuck did I DO?”

“Nothing. Throw. The ROPE.”

“Tell me why you’re being such an asshole to me!”

“Because I fucking LIKE you, okay?!” Kakashi finally exploded. The background noise of the forest fell silent at the sudden outburst. Iruka just stared at him.

“…What?”

Kakashi tried to stem the flow of words, but they all came spewing out in a rush like verbal diarrhea.

“I keep walking into walls and knocking over shit and it’s all because of YOU and your dumb FACE and perky ponytail and that fucking dorky way you tuck in your pants-”

“What’s wrong with the way I tuck in my pants-”

“-because I have a stupid fucking CRUSH on you!!”

“God, what are you, five?!” Iruka shouted back. “Why can’t you just say you wanna fuck me like an adult?”

Kakashi gaped at him, flabbergasted.

“ExCUSE me?”

“Admit it. You want me.” Iruka crossed his arms, looking him up and down. “I don’t really get why, though. I’m always yelling at you in the mission room. You got some sort of humiliation kink?”

“Okay, you know what, you can just leave me here-”

“Don’t act like you’re not a pervert,” Iruka snorted. “I’ve seen the kind of shit you read.”

“That’s not the same!! It’s a book, not real life!” Kakashi argued. “Just because I read it doesn’t mean- I would never- look, my dad taught me to be a gentleman, alright?!”

Iruka studied him for a long moment, then tossed him the rope. Kakashi sighed in relief and grabbed it.

“…So we’re not gonna screw after I pull you out?” Iruka asked teasingly. “Not even get a bit handsy? Make out a little?”

“Of course not!” Kakashi squeaked out. “What kind of guy do you think I am?!”

Iruka broke into a huge grin.

“Oh my God, you’re adorable.”

Kakashi let go of the rope.

“Hey!” Iruka hurriedly reeled in the rope, then tossed it out again. It slapped Kakashi square between the eyes, but he didn’t even flinch. “Kakashi. Please take the rope. I don’t wanna have to file the paperwork. There’s, like, ten different forms.” He still didn’t move. “Please.” He just glared. “…Take the rope or I start taking my clothes off.”

Kakashi seized the rope in a death grip and didn’t let go until he was back on solid ground, chakra-depleted but alive. His legs were a bit shaky as he stood, and he was covered in thick, viscous mud from feet to armpits, not to mention the squelching noises every time he took a step.

“Okay, honestly, I’m a little insulted you grabbed on so fast,” Iruka said. “Are you sure you have a crush on me?”

“Will you stop talking about-” Kakashi went to pick up his canteen and accidently punted it into the quicksand. “MotherFUCK-”

“Yeah, okay, I see it now.”

“Look,” Kakashi said wearily, almost dragging a hand down his face before remembering it was coated in mud, “I just want to forget this whole mission ever happened, alright?” Iruka gave him a mischievous smirk.

“You sure you don’t wanna just bone?”

“Bone? BONNNNE?!” Kakashi repeated incredulously. “In a monster-infested jungle?”

“But I brought protection,” Iruka said, then held up a kunai. Kakashi refused to laugh, even though it was funny.

“Forget it,” he snapped. “A mosquito will probably fly up my dick and make it rot off.”

“Don’t worry, I’d suck it out.”

“Okay we are LEAVING-”

“Wanna hold hands while we walk?”

“Correction, I am LEAVING-”

"I’m serious, actually,” Iruka said, holding out his hand invitingly. Kakashi froze, staring at the proffered appendage like it was a bear-trap ready to spring. His stomach did another flip. “Come on, please? I don’t bite.”

Kakashi knew Iruka was just teasing, poking at the embarrassed Jounin with a stick to get a laugh.

Fine. Two could play at that game.

He reached out and took Iruka’s hand, their fingers twining together like old friends.

“…Unless you ask me nicely.”

Kakashi tried to yank his hand away but Iruka refused to let go, so he just reeled him in like a prize catch. Their chests bumped together, and he caught a whiff of the other man, a deep, woodsy scent that sent a shiver down his spine. He froze again as Iruka looked up at him, studying him with those big brown eyes that were not nearly as innocent as they looked.

“You know,” Iruka purred, leaning in even closer, “if you asked me right now…I might say yes.”

Kakashi gulped, throat suddenly dry. He wavered for a moment, uncertainty twisting his guts, then gathered his courage and barged forward.

“Umino Iruka,” he said tremulously, “would…you like…to go out with me sometime?”

Iruka gave him a blank stare.

“…Yeah that’s totally what I meant.”

“Oh my GOD-” Kakshi started to walk away.

“I’m kidding.” Iruka pulled him back, laughing. “Honestly, I’ve had worse first dates.” He looked at Kakashi and cocked his head appraisingly, a gentle smile chasing away the devilish one. “You’re very sweet. It’s refreshing, really. I’m so used to dudes just jumping straight to sex. It’s nice to meet a guy who actually wants to get to know me.”

Kakashi’s cheeks burned beneath his mask. Because it was true. He did want to get to know Iruka, and now he had the prime opportunity. Everything had already been laid bare, all the embarrassing bits hung out to dry. It’s not like it could get any worse.

“Now, let’s get you outta those muddy clothes.”

On second thought, maybe it could.

-End-

Written for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 3 Prompts: Crushes and Idiots in Love.

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanfic #kakairu.rocks #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #crushes #idiots in love #although its more like idiot (singular) in love #kakashi sucks at feelings #rated teen for language

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dilly-oh · 3 months

Text

Fuck yeah it is

Is it gay to hold hands with your co-parent

#kakairu #naruto #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #i’m not complaining

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dilly-oh · 3 months

Text

Iruka: ...No.

Kakashi: I also have Ramen.

Iruka: Okay it's working a little.

Drawn for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 2 Prompt: Love Potion.

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanart #kakairu.rocks #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #love potion

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dilly-oh · 3 months

Text

Lost and Found Family

“Come on, Pakkun, just shit already,” Kakashi sighs, tugging impatiently at his dog’s leash. The ornery pug gives him an annoyed glance, then keeps sniffing the same bush he’s been investigating for the past fifteen minutes. “Oh my GOD. I should have left you at the pound.”

Pakkun continues to ignore him, instead deciding that the bush doesn’t meet his standards and moving on to sniff at another, nearly identical bush. Kakashi wants to scream.

He’s still in his ratty pajamas, for God’s sake, with a vicious case of bed-head, not to mention it’s past noon, and passersby are giving him strange looks. One even tries to hand him a dollar, but Kakashi shoos them away irritably.

“Okay, enough. Here.” He rifles around in his pants pocket. “Do your business, and you get a treat, okay?” He pulls out a doggie bone and waves it enticingly. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Pakkun just gives him a flat stare. “…Yeah I know it’s not you but take it anyway.” He throws it on the ground. The pug doesn’t even twitch. “Oh, come on. It’s not that stale.” Pakkun snorts. “Whatever. I’m sure some wild animal will come along and eat-”

And then a kid scurries over, picks up the treat, and starts gnawing on it.

“Um,” Kakashi says.

The kid looks up at him with wide, shockingly blue eyes, his hair a tangled blonde mess. He looks like a scruffy dandelion, complete with grass-stained elbows and knees. Kakashi blinks.

“…What’re you doing?”

“Looking for my dad,” the kid answers around a mouthful of stale dog treat. “You seen him, gramps?” Kakashi nearly chokes.

“Gramps?!”

“I’ll take that as a no.” The kid swallows and grimaces. “Ugh, this cookie tastes like ass. Also, I might be lost.”

Kakashi starts looking around for a policeman.

The kid suddenly scrambles up a nearby tree like a rabid squirrel and teeters out on an upper branch, shading his eyes with one hand as he searches the horizon.

“Christ, kid, you should be on a leash,” Kakashi says. The boy looks down at him.

“I was, I chewed through it.”

Kakashi starts looking for that cop again.

“Oh my God, chill. I’m joking. I did lose my dad, though.” The kid squints in frustration, still searching. “Damn, I still don’t see him. Where did he GO?” He glances down at Kakashi. “I’d ask you to look, but I don’t trust your eyesight, old man.”

“I am THIRTY-”

“So you’ll help me?”

“I did NOT agree- look, just get down from there before you- AWK!” Kakashi cuts off in a squawk as the kid pounces on him, nearly tackling him to the ground. “Good lord, you almost threw out my back-”

“Okay, boomer,” the kid says. Kakashi nearly walks away.

“Do NOT make me regret this.” He threatens, glaring at him. “On second thought, I already do, but nevermind that. What does your dad call you?”

“Well, let’s see.” The kid thinks for a minute. “There’s ‘buster’, ‘lazy-butt’, ‘Mr. Stinky McPoo-Pants-”

“I mean your name!”

“Oh. It’s Naruto.”

“…He named you after RAMEN?” Kakashi is completely appalled. He’s considering contacting child protective services.

“Yeah, but it’s cool, I love ramen.” Naruto catches sight of Pakkun and gasps with delight. “And doggies. Hey, buddy!” He actually gets down on hands and knees to greet the pug face-to-face. Pakkun is rather cordial and simply grunts in annoyance at the intrusion of his personal space.

“Why don’t you sniff his butt while you’re down there,” Kakashi grumbles.

“Are you gonna help me find my dad or what?” Naruto asks, getting back to his feet.

“That depends.” Kakashi quirks an eyebrow. “…He cute?”

“Okay, ew, nevermind-”

“I was joking, kid, get back here.” Kakashi sighs in defeat and pulls out his phone. “What’s his number?”

“I dunno.”

“How can you not- have you never called him before?”

“Course I have. Usually like this.” The kid takes a deep breath. “DAAAAAAAAAAD-”

“OKAY STOP. I meant with a phone.” Naruto just gives him a blank look. “…You don’t have a phone? How about a pager? Tracking chip? Anything??” Still the blank stare. Kakashi tries a different approach. “What’s your dad look like?” The kid shrugs.

“Like a dad.”

“No, that’s not- describe him.”

“Well, he’s pretty bossy. He’s always telling me to clean my room and eat my vegetables when I’d rather just eat ramen, and he doesn’t let me play Fortnite-”

“That is not what-” Kakashi has to count to ten. “What color is his hair?”

“Oh.” Naruto blinks. “Boring.”

“Boring is not a color. How about his height and weight?”

“I dunno. Boring, again.”

“And his face? For the love of God do not say boring-”

“It’s normal. Average. Standard.”

“…That’s my bad, I walked right into that one,” Kakashi says, deadpan. “Okay, so we’re looking for any adult man within a radius of five miles. He got a name?”

“Bofa,” Naruto answers.

“…Bofa?”

“Bofa DEEZ NUTS-”

Kakashi starts to walk away.

“No wait please I’m sorry-”

Against his better judgement, Kakashi stops and slowly turns around. “This is your last chance before I take you to the pound,” he warns. Pakkun barks, offended. “You too, pal.” He looks at Naruto. “Where’s the last place you saw him?”

“Umm…this way!” Naruto grabs him by the arm and drags him along. Kakashi makes a mental note to Purell vigorously once this is over, as he is unable to distinguish whether the brown smears on the kid’s hands are dirt, chocolate, or something much more foul. Pakkun grumbles at the fast pace but is able to keep up. Kakashi’s glad he’s at least getting some exercise.

What follows next is a mad scramble through the streets, as Naruto is easily distracted by every sight, sound, and smell. Kakashi has to pull him out of a fountain twice, break up a fight between him and an unruly pigeon, and is forced to buy him a hotdog from a vendor after he complains of missing lunch. Then he demands Kakashi carry him on his shoulders for ‘optimal dad-spotting’, as he puts it. Kakashi almost agrees, then notices Naruto’s funny little dance and hustles him behind a tree before he has an accident.

All in all, it’s a very hectic hour. Kakashi is considering taking the harness off of Pakkun and putting it on the kid. Which is obviously what Naruto’s dad should have done, seeing as he is partly to blame for this whole mess. What kind of selfish, irresponsible parent loses their kid like this-

“Naruto?” a voice says behind them.

“DAD!!” Naruto shoots from Kakashi’s side, squealing in delight.

Kakashi opens his mouth and turns around, intent on giving the man a piece of his mind.

His jaw falls open the rest of the way and swings in the breeze.

Naruto’s a fucking LIAR. His dad is most definitely not boring.

He’s a complete babe.

His boring brown hair is a lovely, chocolatey brown that drapes over his shoulders, clinging enticingly to his jawline. His boring eyes are a deeper, richer shade of brown, framed by long, dark lashes. His boring body is a gorgeously toned physique, highlighted by a pair of tight jogging pants and thin t-shirt.

And his face, dear God, his face.

If Naruto is a dandelion, he’s the blazing sun. The warm smile on his face as he hugs his kid warms Kakashi from ten feet away. He wants to bask in it for hours, but the warmth quickly diminishes as Naruto’s dad grows serious.

“Where did you GO?” he demands, holding Naruto at arm’s length. A scar across his nose wrinkles with concern, which is fucking adorable. “I look away for one second and you’re gone! What happened?”

“There was an ice cream truck,” Naruto says weakly. Iruka just stares at him.

“…Did you at least catch it?”

“No.”

“Good, because you definitely don’t deserve ice-cream after running off like that.” He finally looks up and notices Kakashi. “Oh, hello.”

Kakashi shuts his jaw with an audible snap. “Hi.” It comes out more of a squeak than a sexy, manly purr, and he quickly clears his throat. “I’m Kakashi. Nice to meet you. Uhh…”

“Iruka,” the man helpfully supplies, holding out a strong, fine-boned hand. Kakashi has to suppress the urge to go down on one knee and kiss it. With tongue. “Thank you so much for bringing my son back to me.” His grin grows slightly wicked. “Although I’m not too sure I should be thanking you.”

“Not funny, dad,” Naruto huffs at him. “It was an accident, I swear. I won’t leave aga- oh my gosh is that a quarter over there-”

“NOPE.” Iruka grabs him by the scruff of the neck like a mama cat and reels him back in. “We are going straight home, buster, and you are getting locked in the basement- I mean your room.”

Kakashi chokes on a laugh, faltering a little. He’s desperate to say something else to keep this lovely man’s attention, anything-

“I hope his mother wasn’t too worried,” he blurts out, then immediately wants to sock himself in the face. Way to kill the mood, asshole.

“Oh, hell no, I’m gay as fuck,” Iruka states bluntly. “He’s adopted.”

“…I see,” Kakashi says calmly, while hearing an angel choir singing a chorus of ‘Hallelujah’ in the background.

“I have a wine aunt,” Naruto says.

“Naruto, do NOT call Anko that-”

“But she is!”

“Let me finish. To her FACE.”

Kakashi’s grinning like a fool, watching the banter between the two. It’s incredibly entertaining. They should have their own sitcom.

“And what happened to your clothes?” Iruka goes on in exasperation. “Did you roll around in the dog park or did you let a dog poop directly on you?”

“Hey, at least I’m not still in my pajamas!” Naruto gestures at Kakashi, who freezes.

Fuck. He’d forgotten about that. Immediately he’s self-conscious, painfully aware of his worn pajamas and messy hair. And here’s Iruka looking like a whole ass snack. FUCK.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, rough morning,” he says, chuckling awkwardly.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been there,” Iruka replies with ease. “One time I went to the store with puke on my shirt. Didn’t even care. I totally understand.”

Kakashi doesn’t think he could possibly be more attracted to the man.

“Oh my God, I love your pug,” Iruka says, and Goddamn if Kakashi doesn’t fall in love right then and there. “We should totally walk our dogs together.”

“You guys have a dog?” Kakashi asks in surprise. “Isn’t the kid enough?” Iruka laughs.

“His name is Kurama!” Naruto chimes in. “He’s a Shiba Inu.” He goes on in a whisper. “He’s such an asshole.”

“Naruto, language,” Iruka hisses.

“Pakkun is, too,” Kakashi says, nodding at the pug, who gives a surly growl at the sound of his name. “Oh, shut up. You know I love you.” Iruka laughs again.

“Well then, it’s a date,” he says with a wink, and Kakashi nearly cheers aloud. “It’ll be fun. Naruto can come with us.”

And just like that, the flirty atmosphere comes to a screeching halt.

Kakashi opens his mouth to object, and then stops. Because of course Naruto will come with them. He’s Iruka’s kid. It’s a package deal. If he’s truly interested in the man, he has to be willing to accept that.

Kakashi doesn’t know if he can.

He has almost no experience with children, seeing them as little more than puppies who can talk. They poop and pee everywhere, trash the place, eat all your food, and generally make a racket. They’re not even that cute-

“Thanks for helping me!” Naruto says, beaming up at him like a miniature sun, then throws his arms around his waist in a tight hug.

Kakashi is rendered speechless. He can’t remember the last time he’s been hugged. It’s…nice. He looks over at Iruka in bewilderment, and is stunned at the look of pure love on Iruka’s face, transforming it into something even more beautiful than before.

…Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“Later, gramps!”

And then Naruto whips around and runs back to his dad, elbowing Kakashi right in the dick.

…Still worth it.

-End-

(Written for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 1 prompts: Meet Cute and Found Family.)

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanfic #meet cute #found family #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #kakairu.rocks #modern au

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