I feel like people don't talk about Castiel's guilt enough,which is not caused by Dean being a man or anything,but because he wasn't supposed to love him or to feel any kind of affection towards him,he was supposed to do his job as the righteous soldier that he once was and everyone around him knew and some if not most judged him for it.
What he once loved (which could be interpreted also as Chuck) turned against him even before he committed war crimes against it and he got betrayed so many times by so many people.
I haven’t gotten to the part where Mary comes back yet, but I’m almost there and I’m kinda dreading it tbh. Like I know that Sam and Dean were (initially) so happy to have her back, but it soooooo did not work out in the long run. Obviously it was hard for her to adjust and that’s totally fair but like… bringing her back absolutely ruined any fondness I had for her.
In the previous seasons, it would always make me a little emotional when Sam or Dean invoked Mary. Whenever they used the photo of Dean and Mary, whenever they showed her in a flashback- it would always make my heart swell. She was the image of a ‘perfect’ mother, a warm, kind, loving person who was gone too soon.
And I know she was literally only killed to add to the man pain / to give John (and eventually Sam and Dean) a reason to become hunters and to take up the fight. Like she totally got fridged and that blows.
But when they brought her back? And she was extremely distant with the boys? And started working with the British men of letters in secret? And betrayed her sons? Ew. They had her make all of these weird choices that totally ruined any affections I held for her.
And I know that the version of Mary we see in flashbacks is a kind of one dimensional version of who she was. And that no one is perfect. And that the version of her in What Is And What Should Never Be isn’t technically real. And that being brought back to life after several decades have passed is a fucking crazy thing to go through. But… idk, it just didn’t work for me.
AND, most importantly, the way she acted when she was brought back caused both Sam and Dean a significant amount of pain / hurt, and I am never a fan of anything that makes them upset.