cynicalcharon

[cynicalcharon]

Ok, now i really have a crush

her name's cliadne, but she insists i call her 'the pythia'

anyway, she predicted she was 'going to be single forever more' but that i 'would find someone soon'

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #hades #river styx #charon the ferryman #pythia #delphic oracle #greek oracle #greek myth #oracle at delphi

[cynicalcharon]

there is a lot of graffiti down here

hades says i need to wash it off, and 'no calling that hercules chap to redirect a river or anything', but ngl, i quite like reading about who loves who

it takes my mind off how cripplingly lonely i am sometimes

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #hades #river styx #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

i keep applying to other jobs

i feel like i got rejected from the past few cause they don't like my music taste

although the job description did mention they wanted a 'comely tavern maid' to pour wine for 'wandering heroes and demigods' and im not quite sure i live up to that description

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #river styx #hades #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

im not sayin i judge the dead

but i kinda do

it's not like i favor athens vs sparta or whatever

but if you were a dick in life, that's two drachma, and you sure as hades are going across the styx in the pedal-o i have reserved specifically for those i dislike

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #hades #river styx #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

i would quite like a cat.

however, this poses a few problems, because there aren't many cats down here in the underworld. i also don't quite know what cerberus would make of it

meanwhile megaira is suggesting that i get a goldfish instead

i don't think persephone is very impressed by goldfish

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #cynicalcharon #charon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #river styx #hades #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

hades threw some underworld gathering thing and I wasn't invited

on a completely unrelated note, i think i may be bisexual

#greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek underworld #hades #river styx #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

megaira says my attitude reminds her slightly of someone called 'diogenes the cynic'.

iunno man. never heard of the dude in my life.

she says we would 'get right along' and if i ever feel lonely she can 'attempt to speed up his progress to the underworld' for me.

meanwhile sometimes when i am by myself i talk to the fish that swim in the river.

#diogenes the cynic #greek philosophy #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek myth humor #greek mythology

[cynicalcharon]

when they die, many people are surprised to find that im not a decrepit old guy in a cloak and that im actually not only young but quite good looking

hades says i need to stop embezzling our fees to spend on black eyeliner and that it's 'not a good look' and 'hurts our image', and 'where do i think i am, ancient egypt?'

that hurt more than it should have done and i don't know why ㅠㅠ

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #river styx #hades #charon the ferryman #charon is ambiguously bi i think #fight me on this #ancient egypt #ancient egyptian mythology

[cynicalcharon]

fuckin hell

im thinking if i get internet famous then maybe i can raise my fee enough to keep up a netflix subscription

WiFi is still patchy down here though and apparently according to megaira im 'not cute enough' to be the star feature of my content

sometimes i wonder whether she says this because I refuse to share my ramune

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #river styx #hades #charon the ferryman

[cynicalcharon]

internet is really patchy down here sometimes

but when it does work, im tidying up with mari kondo

hades does not spark joy, but unfortunately, as I cannot bin him, i've simply deleted a load of my old poetry instead...

[cynicalcharon]

sometimes it's hard to tell how people died when they come to cross the river

there was this playwrite guy, aeschylus, who came in with half his skull broken and said an eagle had dropped a tortoise on his head

now, whenever i feel my life sucks, i think of him...

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #hades #river styx #aeschylus #stupid deaths

[cynicalcharon]

im so glad hades bothered to install internet down here.

now, i can translate directly from greek to nahuatl and vice versa

the feathered serpent has told me the world is gonna end in 2012

jesus hasn't even been born yet, but honestly, i cannot wait

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #hades #river styx #aztec #aztec mythology #quetzalcoatl #aztec prophecy #mesoamerica #mesoamerican calendar #i believe the 2012 thing was in the mythos of both the aztecs and the maya #please correct me if i'm wrong

[cynicalcharon]

sometimes we get gods from other parts of the world.

don't get me wrong, it's nice to see new faces. but mr feathered serpent dude? i know you need to cross for some reason, but you can't pay in human hearts. even if they came from a sacrificed war captive.

someone needs to hurry up and invent currency exchange 🙄

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #hades #river styx #aztec mythology #aztec #quetzalcoatl #aztec sacrifice #cw: gore

[cynicalcharon]

hades has asked me to dogsit.

Ok, i get it. he's busy and all that. and it doesn't matter that 'cerberus is really just a big softie' i just don't like dogs!

but i swear this is because i complained to him about the ramune soda. now i have dog hair all over my best black t shirt and persephone - that was her name - says i look and smell like i crawled out the styx

fml

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #river styx #hades #hades x persephone #hades and persephone #charon x persephone #cerberus

[cynicalcharon]

there's this girl

she only works here half the year. i say works. it's more like hades is seeing her or something.

anyway, i can't take my eyes off of her. her name's something like proserpina, proserpine? persephone? something like that.

anyway, she never even notices me.

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #hades #river styx #persephone #hades and persephone #hades x persephone

[cynicalcharon]

i might go on strike

my boss, hades, has this unrealistically peppy attitude when it comes to trying to get me, the furies, and some of the lesser deities of the underworld to do our jobs

it would help if he provided more perks, and didn't search every Amazon package i get delivered

im still not sure i can forgive him for drinking all the hatakosen ramune that i imported from japan

#charon #cynicalcharon #greek myth memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth rp #greek mythology #greek underworld #hades #river styx #the furies #charontheferryman

[cynicalcharon]

im not saying i find this job boring and unrewarding

but since times have changed i feel like i should raise my fee to something a little higher than just a single drachma.

inflation is a bitch.

#greek myth rp #greek myth retellings #charon the ferryman #charon #musings from the river styx #river styx #greek underworld #greek myth memes #greek mythology #cynicalcharon #hades #cynicism