countryroadsstakemehome

[countryroadsstakemehome]

We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like being banished into forests far from everyone. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.

Franz Kafka

[countryroadsstakemehome]

“You know that books are safety and escape and wisdom and peace and the things that get you through. Whether they are showing you the best way to prepare mushroom soup, or breaking your heart with someone else’s loss so you can better bear your own, or making you laugh when there is nothing funny in your life, or making you afraid so that real life seems less fearful. You understand.”

― Found in a Bookshop by Stephanie Butland

[countryroadsstakemehome]

a calm gentle sunlight, coming through the window and the whole world feels alive, you are here and it’s beautiful.

- journals of ykwho

#sunlight #sunlight aesthetic #poetry #poem #sunrise #aesthetic quotes #life quotes

[countryroadsstakemehome]

my mother is pure radiance she is the sun i can touch and kiss and hold without getting burnt.

Sanober Khan

[countryroadsstakemehome]

this summer i want love.

can you look at me the way they do in movies. i want you to kiss me and feel like you can never stop. everyone deserves love. so where is mine? call me beautiful over and over and i swear to you, i will never get tired, let’s lay and look at the stars whilst you tell me your deepest secrets. you could talk for hours and i would never get bored. this summer i want love, a love so pure that in our hearts we believe we will last forever. i want to trace my fingers against your skin. can you make me feel free? like the sun rays against my skin as the wind blows ever so softly. can we have an endless summer?

[countryroadsstakemehome]

“The pillow smells like the sunlight, a precious smell. I quietly breathe it in, breathe it out, and fall asleep before I know it.”

—

Kafka on the shore by Haruki Murakami

[countryroadsstakemehome]

“Mother says there are locked rooms inside all women; kitchen of lust, / bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. / Sometimes, the men - they come with keys, / and sometimes, the men - they come with hammers.”

—Warsan Shire, "The House." Her Blue Body

[countryroadsstakemehome]

Excuses For Why We Failed At Love

by Warsan Shire

I’m lonely so I do lonely things

Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.

You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.

I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.

You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave.

I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember.

I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.

It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth.

I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.

We covered the smell of loss with jokes.

I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents.

You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.

I’m not a dog.

We were trying to prove our blood wrong.

I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.

Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.

No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.

He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.

You were too cruel to love for a long time.

It just didn’t work out.

My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.

I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.

I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.

The women in my family die waiting.

Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you.

I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.

You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.

He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”

His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile

We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.

Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.

I’m a lover without a lover.

I’m lovely and lonely.

I belong deeply to myself .

____________

Archiving it for my own.

[countryroadsstakemehome]

Mother says there are locked rooms inside all women; kitchen of lust, / bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. / Sometimes, the men- they come with keys, / and sometimes, the men- they come with hammers.

Warsan Shire, from "The House"

[countryroadsstakemehome]

To this day

I've yet to experience a

feeling that matches falling

asleep in the car and being

carried inside by Dad. I long

to feel it again, weightless and

loved, but he is too old, I am

too big and I can't sleep no

matter how tired

I am.

by me

[countryroadsstakemehome]

In another universe,

I meet my father

when he is a child.

We play catch in the woods

and as we play he tells me

he isn't allowed to cry

but sometimes the world

hurts him and he doesn't know

what to do with all that pain.

So I give him the shoulder

he needs to cry on.

And he does. He does

until the tears are done.

Afterwards, I buy him ice cream

and I listen to his laugh,

the glowing warm laugh

of a child who knows he is safe.

I wish someone could

have done that for him.

Been a kind, safe place

for the child he used to be.

Would it have made a difference?

Would it have made a difference?

- Nikita Gill

[countryroadsstakemehome]

“He promised us that everything would be okay. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

[countryroadsstakemehome]

I know it is my father's first time on this Earth, too. And I know He had it worse when he was little.

But I was little too.

— Franz Kafka, from letters to his father

[countryroadsstakemehome]

[countryroadsstakemehome]

love is the most important thing ever

[countryroadsstakemehome]

I've Endured, Now What?

Blue Iris - Mary Oliver / So This Is All I Will Ever Be? - Fatima Aamer Bilal / Vive, Vive - Traci Brimhall

[countryroadsstakemehome]

grateful AA member🤍🌳📖

#alcohol #alcoholism #father issues #father #fatherdaughter #alcoholics anonymous #adult children of alcoholics #hope #self help #recovery