corpseterrarium

[corpseterrarium]

[credit to the photographer]

It is not the preachers wearing pride pins in the pulpit, nor is it those allowing gay couples to marry in their sanctuaries or allowing trans people the space to safely exist. It is not the drag queen preaching tolerance and acceptance. It is not the trans woman selling your teen daughter makeup at ultra. It is none of them perpetrating violence or bringing about the downfall of our never-great country. Our country was NEVER great.

It is the good old boys going to conservative rallies and putting on a smile at church and diligently reading their bibles. It is the people like Pastor Greg Locke. It is the people like your grandfather wearing his MAGA hat. It is the people who think drag and learning sexuality/gender identity is groomer behavior. It is the people doing NOTHING and sitting back with their piece of the rights pie watching as my country crumbles beneath my feet. It is THEM and THEM ONLY who are inciting and influencing these senseless acts of violence like the Pulse shooting in Orlando and now the shooting at Club Q.

We just want to live our fucking lives.

If you've never been terrified to hold your husband or wife's hand in public, shut the fuck up.

If you have never been terrified to use the restroom in public, shut the fuck up.

If you have never been terrified to go clothes shopping by yourself, shut the fuck up.

If you've never been terrified of your own government, shut the fuck up.

If you've never been terrified that you might get killed on the street for just existing, SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!!!!!!!!!!

#clubQ #club q shooting #lgbtq #focus on the family is a hate group #gay #lesbian #bisexual #transgender #say their names #senseless tragedy #religious trauma

[corpseterrarium]

[corpseterrarium]

if Jesus died for all our sins, he forgot mine, the body I'm in.

#religious traumacore #church traumacore #traumacore #ventcore #ventposting #sunday school syndrome #pastor's kid syndrome #mental illness #schizophrenia #psychosis #loneliness #martyrdom #broken heart #Spotify

[corpseterrarium]

I don't want to be involved in syscourse. It is tiring. -host

#DID #psychosis #schizophrenia #mental illness #traumacore #ventcore

[corpseterrarium]

all I wanted was a sense of individuality.

all I wanted was to feel safe being emotionally vulnerable.

all I got was being trained to be a religious extremist branded as "the Christian army of the Lord."

I've broken out of it. but my mind and heart and soul and body are broken from it.

#religious traumacore #church traumacore #traumacore #ventcore #mental illness #psychosis #schizophrenia

[corpseterrarium]

PHOTOSENSITIVITY WARNING

they want me to slap on a worthless piece of metal to my neck,

hanging like fetters tying me to a man I've never met,

a man who would probably despise me according to their word.

they expect me to submit to a man who supposedly cheated death and stole the keys to hell.

they expect me to smile and say no ill against the church.

they expect me to not immediately see through the bullshit of "speaking in tongues" or catching the holy ghost.

it's mass hysteria.

it's mass delusion.

it's mass hallucination.

and it fucked me up for life.

#religious traumacore #church traumacore #traumacore #ventcore #mental illness #psychosis #schizophrenia

[corpseterrarium]

sometimes I wish my brain could work right.

I get sad way too often.

I have too many intrusive thoughts, and I get so paranoid.

I try to keep looking at the sunny side of the situation but sometimes it feels impossible.

but I have to keep on and remember it can't rain all the time.

#ventposting

[corpseterrarium]

am i still an attention seeking whore if the abuse started when i was 3 and didn't know what sex was, mommy?

#csa #childabusesurvivor

[corpseterrarium]

yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I still fear all evil

for sometimes the shepherd uses his rod to defile his most vulnerable,

and his staff comes with an age limit.

#ventcore

[corpseterrarium]

am i doing this right?

#religious traumacore #church traumacore #traumacore #ventcore #mental illness #psychosis #schizophrenia

[corpseterrarium]

sometimes I just pretend to have my shit together for funsies

#cosplaying as a normal person who isnt mentally ill #this is not a cry for help #yes it is #schizophrenia #psychosis

[corpseterrarium]

FUCK YOU FOR PROTECTING HIM OVER ME!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW YOURE TOO OLD FOR HIM, YOU FUCKING KNOW IT BUT YOURE TOO GODDAMN SPINELESS AND AFRAID TO BE ALONE YOULL SACRIFICE YOUR OWN FAMILY TO BE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!

#ventcore

[corpseterrarium]

growing up evangelical and then leaving the church is so fucking surreal.

I don't know how to describe it... I left the church barely into my 20s. and I'm still barely into my 20s, and I have no fucking clue how to navigate life.

I know how to have a job and to pay bills, but that's it.

I don't know how to keep myself from k*lling myself at every minor inconvenience and labeling it as religious martyrdom.

it's fucked up. and I'm afraid of becoming a bad person.

#traumacore #ventcore #religioustrauma #mental illness #schizophrenia #psychosis #word vomit

[corpseterrarium]

they said god will judge me if I have the wrong thoughts. so I'm not allowed to think. ♡

#traumacore #church traumacore #religious traumacore #ventcore #venting #ventposting #pastor's kid syndrome #sunday school syndrome #weirdcore #schizophrenia #psychosis

[corpseterrarium]

welcome to my blog.

I deal with religious trauma from growing up in a cult and I'm a victim of CSA, domestic violence, and child abuse.

my blog is a very candid and brutally honest peek into my brain. if you're easily triggered, scroll away. pretend i don't exist. go on your merry way.

this is a traumacore blog for those who have religious trauma or relate to it.

anyway... hello, goodbye, and everything in between.

#traumacore #religious trauma #religious traumacore #church traumacore #pastors kid syndrome #cultcore #jesuscore #mental health #mental illness #schizophrenia #psychosis #CSA #ventcore #venting #ventposting #childabuseawareness #childabusesurvivor #domesticabusesurvivor