confessions-of-a-doormat

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

I will make one tulpacourse post

But if you are someone saying "Tulpamancy is cultural appropriation, you should listen to POC and Buddhists" but also push the line "the only way to be plural is through trauma and DID" then I actually dislike you more than the tulpamancers and you are also 1) being racist or at least incredibly culturally insensitive to POC and Buddhists and 2) are using us as a token to push your narrative and it is very much not appreciated

If you want to have a genuine talk about Buddhism, Cultural Appropriation, Orientalism and what not, we love it. If you want to talk about listening and respecting POC and Buddhist voices, we love it

But if you only care about those topics when it serves your narrative, I unironically find you the more annoying person between two individuals who disrespect Buddhist and AAPI

Sincerely a AAPI Buddhist that engages in most branches of Mahayan Buddhism (Tibetian included)

#thank you for talking about this

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

what do some of y’all think anti-harassment and being against doing harm means? you cannot claim that one side of syscourse is being harmful and horrible while also sending hate, death threats, or doxxing people.

actually this doesn’t just apply to syscourse this applies to real life shit too. sometimes i see people fighting who say they just want to come to an agreement and stop any more harm from taking place, and then yet, they themselves go to cause harm and start violence.

big question here is can people just be normal? can you understand there is another person on the other side of your screen? can you realize that things are often nuanced and complex and that everyone deserves basic human decency?

#exactly

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

what do some of y’all think anti-harassment and being against doing harm means? you cannot claim that one side of syscourse is being harmful and horrible while also sending hate, death threats, or doxxing people.

actually this doesn’t just apply to syscourse this applies to real life shit too. sometimes i see people fighting who say they just want to come to an agreement and stop any more harm from taking place, and then yet, they themselves go to cause harm and start violence.

big question here is can people just be normal? can you understand there is another person on the other side of your screen? can you realize that things are often nuanced and complex and that everyone deserves basic human decency?

#syscourse #anti endo #pro endo

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

another labels post but different from my other one. this one’s about syscourse labels, and getting caught up in them.

i have met people from all sides of syscourse with a variety of beliefs, even within a group. i don’t wanna say labels aren’t helpful; they can get something across generally to others without having to write a whole essay about your beliefs. but they can leave less room for nuance to some.

don’t assume a single syscourse label can tell you all you need to know about a person. it can’t. humans are complex and so are beliefs. the real world reflects these shades of gray more than what we see online.

i have seen pro-endos become anti-endo. i have seen anti-endos become pro-endo. sometimes, these changes are more about trauma or hate than one’s beliefs. it is totally fair to use a syscourse label because of trauma, but just because you’ve been hurt by that community doesn’t mean your community hasn’t also done things to harm people. that doesn’t mean you are like those who have hurt others. but you have to understand there are people on the other side who do all they can to avoid harm and misinformation.

that’s i think the big issue here. why do we believe what we believe? how do we reduce harm, hate, harassment, minsinformation (on BOTH SIDES. don’t pretend being on one side of syscourse vs. the other makes you immune to misinfo. it absolutely does not. check sources, do research)? are we hating something for the sake of hating something, or are there logical reasons for our beliefs?

regardless of the reasons for our beliefs, what are we doing to not encourage hate? you can have very valid reasons for disliking a group. but that does not mean you can go around being hateful to them - this applies to more than just syscourse. someone’s opinions do not warrant harassment or bigotry. people you consider bad deserve basic human dignity too.

#syscourse #anti endo #pro endo

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

ahh gotcha. i will say stealing is generally more intentional, as is plagiarism. of course, sometimes it happens unintentionally, or even if you’re trying not to. sources can mislead and so can our brains. however, generally, unintentional stealing shouldn’t result in punishment. or at least, not in the way i understand punishment to mean. sometimes it’s very clear someone is wholesale copying another person or intentionally misleading others as to an idea’s source. when this is not clear, generally the thing to do is, when someone notices this and mentions it, apologizing for the mistake and fixing or putting in credit.

the one or two times i accidentally used someone’s work without realizing, when it was brought up, i let them know i apologize for not realizing, and removed their work from my content or edited my content to give them proper credit, based on which they wanted. if i was misled myself about the source of the work by another party, i let them know about this so they can reach out to that party as well.

there was no big cancellation or hate that came from those exchanges. we move forward and try to do better. people make mistakes. for me, in the original post here, i wanted to acknowledge that i could have done more to avoid the situation. if the source is “Free Use” Site A, I could look into if the work originated from that source or if they got it from Site B. i try to do that research now when something’s source is questionable. before these incidents, i admit i didn’t really bother to look further. and that’s on me.

even this is different from making something accidentally stolen that i believe you’re describing. you can try to search to see if you got the idea from somewhere else (searching up keywords or like, researchers do literature review to inform research questions they want to answer to see what’s already out there) or if it’s the exact same as something someone else made (tho i doubt it would be, because even if someone’s made very similar art, if you made something of your own and haven’t seen theirs, i wouldn’t call that “identical” or stealing - just two people coming up with the same idea separately), but there’s only so much one can do.

i know it’s hard to not worry about it, but i’d encourage making your ideas anyways. if your searches don’t reveal anything you didn’t already know/remember, even if you ‘accidentally steal’ a concept, you are in no way deserving of a harsh punishment for what you’ve made. do what you can to fix things and move on.

ok know i haven’t used this blog in ages but

recently watched hbomberguy’s plagiarism video, and it made me think a lot about how common plagiarism is and how people justify it to themselves.

as far as i remember, i haven’t intentionally committed plagiarism. there has been once or twice where i used things someone made without realizing it wasn’t the equivalent of, say a free stock photo. and while i do try to correct mistakes like that, looking back, maybe i could have done a little more work to verify the thing’s source, make sure i wasn’t stealing.

maybe sometimes i have so much to do i see something that claims to be free use and don’t look into it more.

i don’t know what point i want to make with this, i just, maybe wanna look more at what i do and make, and take more time to make something my own or verify sources. won’t it make me feel better too? if i receive a compliment on something i created and it’s more than just a jigsaw of others? of course, i won’t have time to make every single piece of a thing uniquely mine, and there’s reasons i don’t wanna focus on that either - perhaps i’ll get into it sometime in another post - but i would like to put more effort into making sure my work reflects me, and my style

i very easily fall into a pattern of trying to accommodate others, be who they want me to be. i used to be intensely creative, and now i find myself struggling to come up with ideas. the other week, i made a very cool piece of art, and while i adore it, and it is uniquely mine, i based it around an album from a band i like, because i couldn’t myself think of anything i wanted to express artistically. in trying to be the foil for others i have lost myself, and i want to gain that back.

hbomberguy mentioned about how some of the people he took down could have been or done great things, if they had focused on uplifting others or making original work. instead, they made a facsimile of something great, their voices merely an old, worn-out recording. i want to be amazing. i want to bring something wonderful to the world, or at least to a good few. i’ve decided to try to do better, and i hope i can follow through on that.

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

me making two seemingly opposing points on the same post but actually they are intrinsically connected to each other because sometimes a spectrum is more of a circle than a line

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

actually, this comment connects with the other thing i mentioned wanting to talk about sometime.

i used to have this friend, and us and other people had made a social media account together. we wanted to post things we did, and helpful information relating to a certain topic. a lot of the helpful information i posted came from other accounts, credited of course. but my friend ended up being upset about having anything on the account that wasn’t purely original, wasn’t even particularly a fan of “inspired by” things either.

and while plagiarism is a problem on one side of the spectrum, expecting absolute originality is a problem on the other side.

there have been so many people with so many ideas over time that there isn’t a whole bunch that won’t be inspired by or similar to something else, even if it’s self-made. but the fun thing is that everything that’s out there inspires other to make something new, or turn something they’ve seen into something else!

after accepting that friend’s terms on the account, we posted some more for a couple months, but it quickly went dead. the community we were a part of was about sharing information and new perspectives on old information, and leaving that behind in pursuit of uniqueness didn’t give us much to do there anymore

there are a million different ways to rearrange things or put a spin on them to make something different, an original concept, even if not every aspect of the idea is original. and i love that!

we make by sharing, we create through community.

that piece of art i made based on an album by my favorite band? i adore it so much i wanna put it on a tshirt, wear it to their concert. i want to show people, and it also inspires me to make art in a similar style. what i was disappointed about had nothing to do with the design i created, just the fact that i could not think of anything i wanted to make, when i wanted to devote that time to art, and i landed on something i had recently listened to.

please make things, regardless of if you think it may have been done before or is inspired by others. if you’re the one doing it - you’re not directly copying from another source or claiming what someone else did is yours - it’s your creation.

also, side note: another thing often done that plagiarists don’t do is citing sources, or crediting others for work based on their creations! in some ways, an intense push for originality with no relation to things anyone else has done can even lead to plagiarism. if you want so badly to leave others out of your work, then when you end up using others’ work, you may be so afraid of collaboration that you pretend the idea is yours instead of giving credit where credit is due.

hbomberguy also talks about this, discussing how if somerton had given the original authors credit and gotten permission to do a video adapataion of their work, that would have been fine, and interesting and helpful for those unable to access the written media or who were unaware of it before coming across james’s channel.

ok know i haven’t used this blog in ages but

recently watched hbomberguy’s plagiarism video, and it made me think a lot about how common plagiarism is and how people justify it to themselves.

as far as i remember, i haven’t intentionally committed plagiarism. there has been once or twice where i used things someone made without realizing it wasn’t the equivalent of, say a free stock photo. and while i do try to correct mistakes like that, looking back, maybe i could have done a little more work to verify the thing’s source, make sure i wasn’t stealing.

maybe sometimes i have so much to do i see something that claims to be free use and don’t look into it more.

i don’t know what point i want to make with this, i just, maybe wanna look more at what i do and make, and take more time to make something my own or verify sources. won’t it make me feel better too? if i receive a compliment on something i created and it’s more than just a jigsaw of others? of course, i won’t have time to make every single piece of a thing uniquely mine, and there’s reasons i don’t wanna focus on that either - perhaps i’ll get into it sometime in another post - but i would like to put more effort into making sure my work reflects me, and my style

i very easily fall into a pattern of trying to accommodate others, be who they want me to be. i used to be intensely creative, and now i find myself struggling to come up with ideas. the other week, i made a very cool piece of art, and while i adore it, and it is uniquely mine, i based it around an album from a band i like, because i couldn’t myself think of anything i wanted to express artistically. in trying to be the foil for others i have lost myself, and i want to gain that back.

hbomberguy mentioned about how some of the people he took down could have been or done great things, if they had focused on uplifting others or making original work. instead, they made a facsimile of something great, their voices merely an old, worn-out recording. i want to be amazing. i want to bring something wonderful to the world, or at least to a good few. i’ve decided to try to do better, and i hope i can follow through on that.

#thank you for the response btw! #love conversation #plagiarism #hbomberguy #creativity #originality #uniqueness #art #more convo encouraged too!

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

ok know i haven’t used this blog in ages but

recently watched hbomberguy’s plagiarism video, and it made me think a lot about how common plagiarism is and how people justify it to themselves.

as far as i remember, i haven’t intentionally committed plagiarism. there has been once or twice where i used things someone made without realizing it wasn’t the equivalent of, say a free stock photo. and while i do try to correct mistakes like that, looking back, maybe i could have done a little more work to verify the thing’s source, make sure i wasn’t stealing.

maybe sometimes i have so much to do i see something that claims to be free use and don’t look into it more.

i don’t know what point i want to make with this, i just, maybe wanna look more at what i do and make, and take more time to make something my own or verify sources. won’t it make me feel better too? if i receive a compliment on something i created and it’s more than just a jigsaw of others? of course, i won’t have time to make every single piece of a thing uniquely mine, and there’s reasons i don’t wanna focus on that either - perhaps i’ll get into it sometime in another post - but i would like to put more effort into making sure my work reflects me, and my style

i very easily fall into a pattern of trying to accommodate others, be who they want me to be. i used to be intensely creative, and now i find myself struggling to come up with ideas. the other week, i made a very cool piece of art, and while i adore it, and it is uniquely mine, i based it around an album from a band i like, because i couldn’t myself think of anything i wanted to express artistically. in trying to be the foil for others i have lost myself, and i want to gain that back.

hbomberguy mentioned about how some of the people he took down could have been or done great things, if they had focused on uplifting others or making original work. instead, they made a facsimile of something great, their voices merely an old, worn-out recording. i want to be amazing. i want to bring something wonderful to the world, or at least to a good few. i’ve decided to try to do better, and i hope i can follow through on that.

#this post open for discussion please! #hbomberguy #plagiarism #how the fuck do i tag this #creativity #art #did #system

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

@flightlessosprey that���s the view in the current DSM. HiTOP classified disorders differently to try and address some of the limitations of the DSM (like heterogeneity, comorbidity, reliability issues, unspecified disorders) It’s definitely a newer method of looking at psychopathology, but it’s very interesting.

I’m not saying either view is better than the other, but research is being done into HiTOP and the possibility of diagnoses being more of a spectrum than a distinct category. If I remember correctly, my professor said HiTOP is more similar to how things are classified in the ICD. In places that use the DSM (mainly the U.S.), diagnosis is currently only made as you have it or you don’t, because the DSM is the most widely used diagnostic coding system (t)here.

In class this week I learned about something called the Hierarchical Taxonomy of Psychopathology, or the HiTOP model. It classifies symptoms and maladaptive traits not categorically, but using factor analysis to organize things by spectra they fall under, low arousal to high arousal, and comorbidity.

Instead of the DSM’s view of ‘you either have the disorder, or you don’t’, it sees psychopathology as a spectrum. Some disorders already fall along spectrums or have their own spectrums I know, but this perspective views there being people in between having a disorder and not having it.

It makes me wonder how it could apply to dissociative disorders vs. non-traumagenic or non-disordered systems. Or people who consider themselves traumagenic and disordered but believe they can’t have DID due to certain criteria or severity of symptoms.

I’m not sure, but I think it would be interesting to investigate, and if anyone in syscourse has more knowledge of HiTOP as I literally just learned about it, I’d appreciate others’ thoughts on the matter.

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

i used to be a crew member on a ship. i still miss it. i met amazing people, had lots of fun, and felt a part of something important.

over the past year the ship sailed through a ton of rocky waters, with some vicious sea monsters popping up in the storm. and though i was scared, i knew we could make it through. i trusted my crew, and i trusted my captain.

throughout it all we left the monsters alone, the sharks and the giant squid, and focused on keeping the boat afloat, moving forward on our journey.

one crew member said how we needed to fight the monsters attacking us. he was worried we would be broken by them. the captain stood firm. and so the crew member took some weapons, and left the crew to fight on his own. the passengers watched in shock.

the captain was furious. the fight might anger the monsters more. the crew were all mixed on the idea of fighting the monsters, and tensions became as high as the waters were rocky. we still all tried to stick together.

arguments broke out. the captain has a temper, we know that, we’ve seen it. we understand what stress does to him, and we’ve all had a rocky year. we begged him to take a break from captaining.

instead, he completely disappeared. we searched the ship, all the nooks and crannies but could not find him anywhere. we were worried for his life.

the next day he was there again. we were so relieved he was ok. he said he wanted to be captain again. we thought it wasn’t a good idea. the stress of it was getting to him. he said he was fine now, that the first mate could help him command the boat and passengers and take over when he could not control himself. we still did not think it was a good idea. another crew member jumped ship in response.

nevertheless, i am a hopeful person when it comes to those i love. and so if i saw it, i said i would believe it. the captain, first mate, and another crew member had a meeting about how to fight the sea monsters, and how to address the first crew member leaving.

i listened outside the door. i did not hear everything, but i heard the captain scream, and refuse to listen to the first mate, and then the crew member stormed out. the first mate told them to come back. they said they could not, and jumped ship.

the captain couldn’t control himself, or listen to the first mate. that was clear. he still refused to recognize his own faults - his temper, his response to those who left, the private things he was told that he made public to the crew. i knew he could be better, and maybe return to captain or crew some day, but he definitely needed time away from the stress, perhaps to be just a passenger. and yet, he stayed captain.

i didn’t know what to do. i loved him. i loved all of them. my crew was my family. and yet the ship no longer felt safe. i wrote the captain a letter and jumped ship, into the cold waters. i bid the passengers farewell, but i did not tell them why.

soon after, two other crew members jumped ship. they told me how the letter had angered the captain in a way that made them realize they could not stay either.

there is one other crew member. she does not know what to do, but she stays, for the ship. i still talk to her. the first mate may be upset with the captain’s actions, but is still loyal to him, and so they are leading the ship. i no longer talk to the captain, though i miss him and still love him through all the heartbreak.

he pretends everything is fine now. he does not understand we left not because of the stress, but his reaction to it and refusal to step down. the passengers get to hear his side of the story.

and i do not viciously attack him; i do not want to become a giant sea monster. but i wish the passengers could see us, the ex-crew, all of us, here in our little boat. i wish they would question what happened, and if there is more than one side to the story he weaves.

i love the crew, and i love the passengers. i wish the cracks in our team could be repaired, but i know some never will. i still hold out small hope, that one day the captain will realize his wrongs, do the work to be better, and apologize to all he hurt. but i cannot sit around waiting for a day that may or may not come.

#i know this is long #but it’s a metaphor #a story transformed #which takes longer to make #unsure whether or not to tag this as syscourse #this is a vent #but totally ok to reblog

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

sometimes i try to make a syscourse post and instead my brain says oogabooga

#syscourse

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

In class this week I learned about something called the Hierarchical Taxing of Psychopathology, or the HiTOP model. It classifies symptoms and maladaptive traits not categorically, but using factor analysis to organize things by spectra they fall under, low arousal to high arousal, and comorbidity.

Instead of the DSM’s view of ‘you either have the disorder, or you don’t’, it sees psychopathology as a spectrum. Some disorders already fall along spectrums or have their own spectrums I know, but this perspective views there being people in between having a disorder and not having it.

It makes me wonder how it could apply to dissociative disorders vs. non-traumagenic or non-disordered systems. Or people who consider themselves traumagenic and disordered but believe they can’t have DID due to certain criteria or severity of symptoms.

I’m not sure, but I think it would be interesting to investigate, and if anyone in syscourse has more knowledge of HiTOP as I literally just learned about it, I’d appreciate others’ thoughts on the matter.

#thank you for the input! #it does in fact seem very cool

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

In class this week I learned about something called the Hierarchical Taxonomy of Psychopathology, or the HiTOP model. It classifies symptoms and maladaptive traits not categorically, but using factor analysis to organize things by spectra they fall under, low arousal to high arousal, and comorbidity.

Instead of the DSM’s view of ‘you either have the disorder, or you don’t’, it sees psychopathology as a spectrum. Some disorders already fall along spectrums or have their own spectrums I know, but this perspective views there being people in between having a disorder and not having it.

It makes me wonder how it could apply to dissociative disorders vs. non-traumagenic or non-disordered systems. Or people who consider themselves traumagenic and disordered but believe they can’t have DID due to certain criteria or severity of symptoms.

I’m not sure, but I think it would be interesting to investigate, and if anyone in syscourse has more knowledge of HiTOP as I literally just learned about it, I’d appreciate others’ thoughts on the matter.

#syscourse #system #did #osdd #p-did #endogenic #plural #anti endo #pro endo #actually traumagenic #multiple #tulpamancy #cdd #pluralgang #traumagenic system #endo safe

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

what should i syscourse next. who would like my unasked for opinions.

#syscourse #half joking #there are some things i will not touch #but feel free to send in a question asking #might delete this later

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

Remember that many systems have childhood trauma. Remember that alters - especially littles - in these systems typically form to deal with or hold that trauma. A fair number of these systems have experienced CSA, and their littles may be sexual protectors, or come out during anything related to sexual activity, or hold thoughts, feelings, and memories related to sex.

Just because they are littles does not mean they have to be babied or infantilized. Some systems may have littles who should stay away from anything sex-related, or who act more like actual children, but remember that there are littles who, while they feel young, still have the knowledge or experiences of the body they’re in, and if the body they’re in is an adult, they and the rest of the system get to make choices about who does what and what each alter is safe to do.

All systems are different, all littles are different. Please don’t shame other systems for having their littles be online or involved in anything sexual when their body is an adult and you don’t know the innerworkings of their system or their trauma.

We all already have enough shame and guilt to deal with from experiencing what we’ve experienced. We don’t need that blame placed back on us.

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

DNIs do not automatically equal discourse stance. There could be so many reasons someone has something on their DNI without meaning they hate that thing or don’t believe in it. Sometimes it’s triggering, sometimes it’s to stay out of drama, sometimes it’s because you’ve been hurt from people of that group before, sometimes you have a blog for only a specific subset or group to share experiences, sometimes you just don’t relate to anyone from that group, sometimes there’s issues not with the thing itself, but with the community built around it. And yes, sometimes it’s because you dislike that group or don’t believe in them.

But different sides of all types of discourse get hate, not for doing anything at all other than having something in their DNI. Please think about this before going off on people and harassing them because of what you assume their stances are. Because I doubt I’m the only one sick of this shit.

#discourse #syscourse #did #osdd #system #plural #plural gang #endo safe #pro endo #anti endo #traumagenic system #actually traumagenic #endogenic #multiple #tulpamancy

[confessions-of-a-doormat]

Remember that many systems have childhood trauma. Remember that alters - especially littles - in these systems typically form to deal with or hold that trauma. A fair number of these systems have experienced CSA, and their littles may be sexual protectors, or come out during anything related to sexual activity, or hold thoughts, feelings, and memories related to sex.

Just because they are littles does not mean they have to be babied or infantilized. Some systems may have littles who should stay away from anything sex-related, or who act more like actual children, but remember that there are littles who, while they feel young, still have the knowledge or experiences of the body they’re in, and if the body they’re in is an adult, they and the rest of the system get to make choices about who does what and what each alter is safe to do.

All systems are different, all littles are different. Please don’t shame other systems for having their littles be online or involved in anything sexual when their body is an adult and you don’t know the innerworkings of their system or their trauma.

We all already have enough shame and guilt to deal with from experiencing what we’ve experienced. We don’t need that blame placed back on us.

#syscourse #did #osdd #system #plural #multiple #littles #pro endo #anti endo #endo safe #actually traumagenic #traumagenic #endogenic #pluralgang #tulpamancy #actually osdd #actuallydid #sex mention