Please know that although we did not end up together in the end, I will always be grateful for having met you, because despite the fact that you broke my heart to walk this path you set me on. I see now that I am not lost like I thought I was in the beginning… Everyday that passes I am realizing that these were not wasted years or wasted tears. It is all part of a journey to find the person I was always meant to be. I was never lost . I was simply coming home . Perhaps not to you like I always dreamed of , but to my real self instead..
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i am tired. i am exhausted. from my head to my soul to my bones i am so fucking tired.
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“It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of breaking down. I feel like I am going crazy, and if my mind is an ocean, my thoughts are a tsunami. I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate, I can’t even think straight. I am a fucking mess.”
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And how would I describe the feeling you give me? How would I describe how I feel when it comes to you? Well, my heart goes all soft and it feels like it’s melting. Under your gaze, I feel exactly where I should be. Like wherever you are is where I want to be. And I just want to look into your eyes forever. I wanted to get to know you more. I wanted to be your friend, and maybe, just maybe, I would have gotten the chance to fall in love with you. I don’t want to believe we’ll never see each other again. I don’t want to believe we were only meant to be in each other’s lives for a quarter, I don’t want to believe we won’t get a chance to get to know one another. You make me feel like a little girl dreaming of her Prince Charming, and it’s innocent, and pure, and magical, and beautiful. And I just have such tender curiosity when it comes to you… if only you knew.
c / until we meet again,
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And I wish I could tell you just how much I love you and how I’m in love with you and you only… except you’re not mine to tell. And no matter how much I long to be yours, I’m starting to accept that in this life, that may never happen again.
c / this is why I’m heartbroken
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The saddest part of life is when the person who gave you the best memories becomes a memory.
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Forever waiting
i like the concept of soulmates—not a “you’re destined to meet me, and love me” kind of soulmate, but a “i’d pick you, every time.” kind of soulmate. a “no matter what happens, and what has happened, i want to go through it with you.” kind of soulmate. a “i love you by choice, and you’re a blessing, and i’m going to continue thinking about you this way not because i have to but because i want to.” kind of soulmate. a “you help me rest easy when everything is difficult” kind of soulmate. a “in every possible outcome, i want you there, to share it with me.” kind of soulmate.
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How do I unloved you?
-starting over again
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I’m drifting..
I’m tired..
I’m exhausted..
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19/03/22
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You never forget the memories
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