catboydreamer
catboydreamer
if you must call me something, its CB. im a genshin focused writing blog. it's purely self-indulgent. they/them pronouns only.
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HBD to my queen, Beidou!! 💖 we share the same bday :DD
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everything stays right where you left it
everything stays but it still changes
I
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i wanted to draw him laughing!!! (impossible ik)
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xiao comfort for nightmare.
notes; vaguely talks about family issues since that's what the nightmare is about. but it is genuinely vague with very general sentences about what happened in the past. also, may be a bit rusty and not super detailed, i haven't written in forever but i really hope it is enjoyable to someone out there. <3
xiao x reader , xiao comforts you after a nightmare.
it wasn't as if you were trying to think of them. if anything, you haven’t actively thought of them in a few weeks and yet…
a nightmare.
when you wake up in a cold sweat and the only light in the room is the gentle light of your alarm clock, all you can remember is flashes. you remember the screaming and how close they got to your face. quite similar to the constant insults and arguments daily when you lived with them. you could almost always taste the cigarettes on their breath or the alcohol steaming off your father when he got home. words slurred and insults casually thrown. no one ever protected you from the fall out. if anything, they created a stone wall against you.
caught up in your own thoughts you didn't hear the soft pitter patter of his boots as he launched off the window sill and made his way to you. it is possible he intentionally walked over so quietly but it wasn’t entirely welcoming in this state of mind.
you only slightly felt how the bed shifted when he sat down. and yet when his hand touches your shoulder in a fleeting, gentle touch, you flinch back a bit. your eyes finally meet in the dark with his glowing orange eyes. it's like a saving grace in the dark of your mind.
he asks without words. is this okay? is this what you want? your throat feels dry so you cannot speak. his presence alone washes over you and tears start to fall down your cheeks. still, despite how it hurts, he sits still and waits for your response. you only nod and by some miracle he is able to see this.
he pulls you into a hug. his arms are a bit stiff but it is a tight hug as he holds you against his chest. you breathe shakily and cry. you’ve filled water stains onto his clothes but he doesn’t push you away or react at all. he continues to hold you within the silence of your room.
and finally, you can feel his breath against your cheek. something you have slowly taught him how to do. something he knows calms you down. it feels more human and puts you at ease.
after a long while in his arms, after the tears have dried up and your throat has closed up way too much, after you have cramps in your wrists from gripping on his shirt, you want to pull away. it's a simple double tap on his thigh and he pulls away from you.
it's only a minute though, and then he lifts a finger to your chin so you look at him only. “you need water. let me retrieve you some.”
it's never a question and with that, his presence is gone for a few moments before he comes back with a glass of water. he places it in your hands and watches you drink the whole glass. once you are done, he places the glass on the small bedside table.
he’s staring for a moment longer than usual though, as if thinking for a long moment. you only wait for his response, trusting he will speak when ready. he stands up and half turns away from you. “do you require physical affection or would you rather me to guard over you from over there?”
sometimes you feel like the answer is obvious but to him it isn’t. he asks every single time, making sure this is what you want. it makes you wonder what goes on inside his head but that conversation is for another time. instead, you answer the question, “i’d like it alot if you would lay with me. at least until I fall asleep if nothing else.”
with the small comment that lays underneath, you see something flicker in his eyes as he walks back over to you. you shift over to make room for him and he lays next to you. you can feel the soft gaze he holds towards you as he reaches to push hair out of your face. your fingers touch his shoulder, fleetingly. never too much, never too little.
it's a million little things that cannot be tackled at once and not in this little room at 3:06 AM. instead, your eyes slowly flutter closed. the comfort of xiao watching over you so closely lulls you to sleep again. this time you only dream of xiao in a meadow, with a smile on his face. you pray that you can have this dream over and over again.
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characterization thought
I was just thinking like??? how many different ways people will characterize characters and sometimes it would annoy me so much and I'm like damn how is it possible to get it so wrong? but it's qll perspective. like, people will write the flirtatious nature of a lot of characters but likw that would be it but it's like literally bc they are romanticized the character in their head. but now I'm just fine w/ it because it makes sense. but idk personally I try to mesh together the romanticization and the actual behavior and background of a character.
#thoughts#fanfic writing#writing thoughts#I just wanted to share#I know I've been gone sorry#I'm goin through it rn
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i hope they meet
#scara#kazuha#this is REAL#no cause I've thought of this constantly#I know scara did it to himself but#IM JUST SOBBING LIKE#OK but actually#I lov the art soooo much#the colors look so pretty#everything is gorgeous#thank u fir making my brain go crazy
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summary; scaramouche gets upset that you walked in the rain for hours without proper attire >:) scaramouche x reader fluff like there's no angst. its just. soft. relationship is like, that fine lines between friends and something more. ya know.
essentially, you had to walk in the rain today.
what were you supposed to do, not go to work?
the cherry on top is the fact that you had no proper attire for rainy weather as of right now. you had moved from a drier area and weren't used to needing protection from harsh weather.
you weren't excited obviously, but maybe it would've been better to pack your clothes in a bag so at the very least you wouldn't be stuck in wet clothes all day...
so, when you walked into your home in the early evening, you definitely hadn't expected to see scaramouche.
he pretty much comes around unannounced, but this just felt odd? he was sitting there, crawled up onto a chair in your living room with a book perched on his lap. his head rested against the arm of the chair.
his eyes lifted to see you; words perched on his lips before he takes in the sight. and now, yeah, he's scowling. say goodbye to that potentially sweet moment you were about to have.
he's vigorously settling a bookmark in his book and allows it to be forgotten. he rises from his seat and marches over to you but angrily.
you just sort of...stand there? what else are you supposed to do? you've forgotten to even breathe.
he presses a hand to your shoulder and squints before pulling it away.
he crosses his arms across his chest, lips in a firm line. his tone is cold, "get in the shower. now."
it's just so...him.
you immediately head to take a shower just as he demanded of you. though, you remember midway through that you failed to grab clothes. shit.
scaramouche knows you like the back of his hand. there's a firm knock on the door and a muffled voice, "i brought your clothes. don't be alarmed."
it's a brief warning before he has come in and set them on the counter, for you. before you can breathe, he's gone. you aren't sure of the look on his face but every time this sort of thing happens, he always scurries out of the bathroom quickly.
of course, this isn't the end of his demands and worries. it's scaramouche, he can't just let it go.
he stops you again after you're out.
he huffs, "dress more appropriately, next time. humans are fragile."
it's sort of embarrassing. like, you don't want to admit that you hadn't planned for the weather and just stuck it out foolishly.
it feels like he pulls it out of you though, so you tell him anyways. and probably say more than was necessary but somehow, he doesn't make any noises of annoyance.
though, he does scrunch up his nose. then, he laughs. and keeps laughing. for a long time.
"you're truly stupid."
you have this look on your face that reads as huh?
he doesn't say much else on the subject for the rest of the night. simply stays with you and continues with the usual banter you two share.
he tries to check for signs of illness subtlety but he's scaramouche. he rarely gives too much physical contact so for him to graze his hand over your forehead and wrists often? yeah, something was up.
you don't call him out on it. which is a very rewarding thing, you find out.
the day had been long thus far and somehow you two had ended up tangled up on the couch. cuddling. and he wasn't resisting. that is... something.
he seems to hold you tightly too. which is nice. it feels really nice.
you drift off pretty quickly after that, snuggled in his warmth.
you barely are conscious when he carries you to your room sometime in the night. he lays you down with a gentleness you had no clue he possessed. but he did. fingers wisp against your forehead again and brush the sticky hair out of the way.
he starts to walk away, ready to leave for the night as he always does.
you do this every night as well, letting out a noise somewhere between a groan and a whimper. a plead to stay. he never listens. not really.
this time though, you hear him plop down.
he mumbles, "fine. move over then."
nothing feels more content than the finality of this moment.
he's scared of losing you and that's why he stays.
just don't be surprised when you come back from work one day to see a box addressed to you, and the contents are various clothing items and accessories to protect you from the cold and rainy weather. a heavy jacket, umbrella, sweaters, gloves, a scarf, so many different items...
it's all from scaramouche. you know that, even if he doesn't address it as such.
#scaramouche#scaramouche fluff#scaramouche x reader#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin fluff#it could be an au or like canon world#i couldnt choose#kunikuzushi#wanderer#i love him#i feel like his characterization was a tiny bit better here#some sort of experimentation#listen i should've straight up written in full detail but ya know#i just wanted someone to care for me SO I M LIKE ok time to write abt scara again#SJAJAKJAJK IM OBSESSED WITH HIM!!!#so pls enjoy#<3
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summary; scaramouche w/ a partner who’s stronger than they look and just starts lifting shit up in front of him and yeah, he has a...reaction. (im so sorry i am undeniably obsessed w/ scara)
it’s not really a huge deal, scaramouche has always known you can handle yourself well.
something awakens in him when he sees you carrying in boxes; three boxes stacked on top of each other, your head barely peeking out from behind them. he freezes for a second, simply watching. he had no clue you had that sort of strength in you. good to know, though.
his feelings truly get intense, though, while you’re out and have to carry a group of children to a safer location. you tell scaramouche it won’t be long.
there are three children on you, one with their tiny hands locked around your neck as their tiny body lays against your back and the other two are hanging around your sides, held closely by you.
scaramouche huffs despite his feelings.
“don’t... take too long.”
while you’re on your way, scaramouche stares after your figure and he cannot stop his own thoughts. he’s allowed to think of you like this but it’s still embarrassing. his cheeks heat up quickly and furiously. he becomes almost angry with himself over it.
if you can carry so many things breathlessly, you could... hold him too. and not in the way it seems, of course you know how to hold him close. that’s something you’ve already mastered. he knows that. no, it's more of how easily you could lift him off the ground and pulls him to you with nowhere else to go.
he makes an incoherent but angry noise as his fingers reach to tug at the back ends of his hair.
it's simply a frustrating but addicting thought.
now, truly it's up to you and your observational skills if anything happens!
if you had noticed his gazes and the flustered look that overtook his face before you left, then you would question him about it. just don’t expect a quick answer or one at all.
scaramouche is stubborn after all, so unless you initiate something now, you won’t even know what it's about until months later.
he would literally pout and make grabby hands at you one day all of a sudden, probably after a really hard day, and demand, “hold me.”
hopefully you understand he wants you to pull him up and not simply hug him, though if you don’t, he’d become huffy about it. it’s been marinating in his brain for a few months now so if you are oblivious to his /obvious/ feelings, he’s gonna jump on you, now. what’s worse is you don’t even stumble at all and instinctively know where to hold him. it makes him sick.
he’s so tired, right now, so he doesn’t say anything. he closes his eyes as he finally leans into you and gets what he wants.
don't ask him about it or else >:). KIDDING he’s used to your antics and little remarks you’ll make. he likes it when it comes from you.
#scaramouche#scara#scaramouche fluff#scaramouche x reader#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#soft scaramouche#fingers crossed this is well#honestly its self indulgent so uh#NAYWAYS#hope ur wanderer pulls are going well#i have c2 scara#im goin for c6#AHAHAH#im analyzing wanderer and im gonna write some scara based off that characterization#I LOV HIM THO SO MUCH
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