buddingghost

[buddingghost]

Holy hell

Been a hot minute since I had tumblr🫣 ended up losing some weight, deleted the app to be better and gained it all back. So I guess here I go again…

[buddingghost]

12-17-22

Day 1:

Current weight-200

Highest weight- 250lbs

Lowest weight- 158lbs

I’ve overeaten today. Wouldn’t consider it a binge, but i feel disgusting. Just purged and it’s given some relief. I’ll be fasting the rest of the day, making sure to drink plenty of water and warm tea. Tomorrow I’m going to set the time aside to actually prep my meals instead of stress eating and being impatient. Sugar is my weakness so I need to try and get more protein in to help avoid those strong cravings.

[buddingghost]

‼️TW- weight numbers‼️

The goal was to be down 20lbs by the end of October for a trip. I’ve managed to only lose 3lbs, I’m sitting at about 183/185. I wanted to be in the 170s atleast but I guess that won’t happen. I wasn’t strict. BUT I went to the doctor and got meds for depression and adhd, so I’m hoping it’ll help my binge eating🥲🤞🏽

#not pr0 mia #fat ana #notprojustusingthetags #anarec1a #anarecyx #bonespr0 #bonesspa #not pr0 anything #overweight mia #thinspa #ed thoughts #thinsbo #bingepurge #ed diet #ed things #fat mia #thinsp0 #thinspp #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent

[buddingghost]

I took a break thinking maybe I should do this the healthier way, maybe I should actually be healthy. But I’m melting. I’m giving up and no one cares or notices. It’s not just weight but everything. I’m so tired and they can only think of how else to use me. Pay their bills, give them gas money, buy them this and that. I hate waking up, I cry on my breaks, my work is sloppy, I sleep 24/7. I don’t know if I even want to be skinny or just not exist.

#not pr0 mia #fat ana #notprojustusingthetags #anarec1a #anarecyx #bonespr0 #bonesspa #not pr0 anything #overweight mia #thinspa #ed thoughts #thinsbo #bingepurge #ed diet #ed things #fat mia #thinsp0 #thinspp #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent

[buddingghost]

💜 Meal plan 💜

Breakfast- 2 egg whites scrambled with bell peppers and onions(~50cal)

Lunch- 3oz grilled chicken, 2 cups broccoli, 3/4 cup brown rice(~280 cal)

Snack- fruit smoothie with protein(~185)

(Garden of life vanilla protein, 5 strawberries frozen, 1 cup of watermelon frozen, 1 cup for fresh spinach and about 1cup of water, more if needed)

Dinner- 5oz can of tuna, 1/4 diced tomatoes, 1 cup spinach, 3oz green beans, 3/4 cup brown rice(~255)

Total cal~770

That’s rounded up, but the macros are…

82g protein

14g fiber

92g carbs

13g fat

20g sugar

#not pr0 mia #fat ana #notprojustusingthetags #anarec1a #anarecyx #bonespr0 #bonesspa #not pr0 anything #overweight mia #thinspa #ed thoughts #thinsbo #bingepurge #ed diet #ed things #fat mia #thinsp0 #thinspp #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent

[buddingghost]

Will be making green protein smoothies for this :) starting it tomorrow ✨

#not pr0 mia #fat ana #notprojustusingthetags #anarec1a #anarecyx #bonespr0 #bonesspa #not pr0 anything #overweight mia #thinspa #ed thoughts #thinsbo #bingepurge #ed diet #ed things #thinsp0 #fat mia #thinspp #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent

[buddingghost]

Ugh, and now I won’t get it until tomorrow. Literally so annoying.. I’m fasting today so when I get it tomorrow I can finally see my fat weight

Getting my scale today so I can finally see how much I weigh!Seeing the numbers go down helps me stay ✨motivated✨

[buddingghost]

—Food log—

7/27/22

I don’t want to put all of what I ate. I stupidly chose foods that were higher in calories for some reason. Anyway it was 1,500cal so yay for me for not staying below 1,000 >:(

[buddingghost]

Well I fucked up. I ate dinner and snacked. I’m at 1,500 cal. Going to go workout and sulk. Still below my technical maintenance but wanted to stay under 1,000 cal. 3rd days always the hardest for me..

So far so good. Day three of heavily restricting.

I made a 310 cal breakfast but didn’t eat it all. Trying to hold out a bit more before lunch. Idk what to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to keep under 1,000 today, but I also need to go to the gym ughhh…

[buddingghost]

Had lost almost 90lbs and then gained. I’m back close to the 200’s (I think) and it’s honestly the worst feeling ever

Losing weight you gained back is so fucking painful

[buddingghost]

So far so good. Day three of heavily restricting.

I made a 310 cal breakfast but didn’t eat it all. Trying to hold out a bit more before lunch. Idk what to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to keep under 1,000 today, but I also need to go to the gym ughhh…

#not pr0 mia #not pr0 anything #notprojustusingthetags #anarec1a #anarecyx #fat ana #ed thoughts #tw ed relapse #ed diet #ed diary

[buddingghost]

Getting my scale today so I can finally see how much I weigh!Seeing the numbers go down helps me stay ✨motivated✨

#not pr0 anything #not pr0 mia #notprojustusingthetags #fat mia #fat ana #overweight mia #anarec1a #anarecyx #pr0 ana diary #thinsp0 #thinspp #thinspa #bonesspa #bonespr0

[buddingghost]

—Food Log—

7/26/22

Breakfast- Bang energy, small fruit bowl

Lunch- cheesecake, cookies, chipotle dressing.[this was me test tasting items at work. I measured it all before tasting]

Dinner- spinach and fruit smoothie

Snacks- Pretzel crackers

Total cal- 760

Exercise- walking(100)

Feeling good today, but the third day is always the hardest for me…

#not pr0 anything #not pr0 mia #no #4n0r3x14 #tw ed relapse #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent #pr0 ana diary #ed diet #miaa #thiinsp0 #aneroxia

[buddingghost]

💜Some Grunge Thinsy for myself 💜

#not pr0 mia #notprojustusingthetags #bonesspa #bonespr0 #thinspa #thinsbo #thinspp #thinsp0 #overweight mia #anarec1a #anarecyx #fat ana #tw ana thoughts

[buddingghost]

—Food log—

7/25/22

Breakfast- Starbucks energy drink

Lunch- tomato soup and side salad

Snacks- matcha cookie, chips ahoy cookie, mixed fruit

Dinner- pork on rice cakes, Brussel sprouts

❣️Total cal- 1,179

❤️‍🔥Exercise- 100cal (walking)

(My maintenance caloric intake is about 2,000, so my goal is to eat no more than 1,500 a day. I figured days were I workout I could eat more, focusing more on protein and fiber filled foods. >-<)

#not pr0 mia #notprojustusingthetags #overweight mia #fat ana #tw ana thoughts #analog #anarecyx #anarec1a #bingepurge #bonespr0 #bonesspa #thinspa #thinsbo #ed thoughts #Ed things

[buddingghost]

Heyo! This is my personal blog to help me keep focused and stay on track 💜

‼️PLEASE BLOCK IF CONTENT IS TRIGGERING‼️

!!(SH/ED content)!!

I’m Ghost, and here is a lil bit about me 💕

I’m 5’2” and my highest weight was 250lbs, my lowest 159lbs. I’ve always been bigger my whole life, and have struggled with Binging, restricting and purging.(the usual ED stuff) I have a goal I want to reach, and I need to crack down and get serious! >:(

Anyway, I’m trying to get back down to atleast 170 by 10/21/22. I have a trip and I’d love to look a bit better than I do now.

💜 Today is 7/25/22, so I have about 87 days to lose 20lbs 💜

I’ll be posting daily food dairies, work out logs, and inspo. So wish me luck 💫

#bonespr0 #bonesspa #notprojustusingthetags #fat ana #fat Mia #not pr0 mia #anereksia #anerxia #anerxic #bingepurge #tw ed vent #ed thoughts #Ed things #food diary #weight loss #thinsbo #thinspa #i wish i was thinner #overweight mia