auerisauers - Tumblr blog

auerisauers · 6 months

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if I killed myself right now I don’t think anyone would mind; in fact, they’d probably be happier

#rotting #i wanna kms #ready to kms #slither wing #cvtt!ng

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auerisauers · 9 months

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Everytime you feel like your about to binge,

Remember how happy you felt when you saw the number on the scale drop.

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auerisauers · 10 months

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some really helpful anti-binge advice !!

(taken from edtwt)

*part 1*

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auerisauers · 11 months

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I’m exactly 62 kg rn 🫶🫶

#a4a #ana meal #ana snacks #safe f00d #ed meals #mealsp0 #mealspo #male ed #male thinpo #tw ana rant #ana male #a4a diary #a4a tips #a4a st☆rve #tw ed relapse #ed not sheeren #ed stats

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auerisauers · 1 year

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ITS MY BIRTHDAY

finally 15 🩵♈️

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auerisauers · 1 year

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IM FINALLY OUT OF THE 70’s !! (in kgs ofc)

I’ve been fasting for a couple days straight, ended up binging yesterday, but began a new fast and already reached 24 hrs.

im currently 68.6 kg !!!🩷🩷🩷

ik that seems like a lot for other edblr users but idgaf bc it means that I’ve already lost 2 kg, and the week isn’t even over 🤞

slow progress is still progress 🩵

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auerisauers · 1 year

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abt to kms

cw: 70.65 kg

height: (I’ll measure soon)

gw1: 108 lbs

gw2: 101 lbs

gw3: 48 kgs

goal height (ik i can’t really change my height but i hope i grow taller at some point): 5’8

i have a exactly a month until my bday and i saw a hella triggering post on edtwt about losing a bunch in a month so I’m going to try it out

(sorry for the combo of kgs and lbs, it’s just easier for me)

from now on, my daily intake will be 600 max, possibly 400 max on weekdays when it’s easier for me to eat less

I’ll try to have at least 10k steps daily, even on weekends when i just rot in my room 24/7

I’m also going to try to do a short yt workout everyday to not only do cardio

this is so random, but I’m scared that I may be addicted to diuretics; I take like 12 of those pills a day sometimes 😭

that’s pretty much it, sorry I haven’t posted in a while <3

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auerisauers · 1 year

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“what’s your current th1nsp0”

one of the fucking philly goats ffs 🤦‍♂️

why is his waist so fucking tiny 😭🤬

that build is to d1e for honestly

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auerisauers · 1 year

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new stats/goals:

weight: no clue, will update once i get back from vacation

height: 5’5

gw 1: 113 lbs

gw 2: 108 lbs

gw 3/ugw: 98 lbs

notice how all of these weights are very specific?? well yeah, this is what i weighed before quarantine and when i was 13 and 12 😍

(i need to get my old body back istfg)

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auerisauers · 2 years

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TW: vent

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ive been b1ng1ng so fucking much lately

i literally hate myself

ever since school has started i can’t stop eating constantly

im trying to get myself back to my depressive phase so i will forget to eat or at least have something to distract me so i won’t eat

rn im reading the given manga and its making me so sad, so i think its working

i miss how i looked like when i was 12

i was so active; i did latin ballroom, gymnastics, and tennis

i weighed about 49 kg and i actually thought that i was fat then

i would do anything to go back to it

when quarantine hit, my binge eating spiraled and i stopped doing all my athletic activities

i was also deep into my haikyuu/anime watcher phase and it helped distract me from food

i used to be a brandy melville girl

i would kill to be that way again and fit into their clothing

i wish i was the type of person who forgot to eat or just didn’t eat for comfort when they got stressed

i dont understand why im in a constant cycle of being a4arex1c and then binging

thats why I’m trying to turn to other unhealthy coping methods when my emotions get too much instead of food

it’s so difficult to st4ve since school has started

ughh im sorry for posting this i just really needed to vent bc ive been doing horrible

#th1gh gap #tw ana thoughts #th1nsp11 #male ed #male thinpo #ed diet #safe f00d #anar3xia #a4a #ana foods #ana meal #ana snacks #ed meals #mealsp0 #mealspo #an0r3xic #an0rexic #tw ed relapse #tw ana rant

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auerisauers · 2 years

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🫶🫶

Reblog if

It’s 104% okay to come to your DM and just say, “Hi, can we be friends?” And then start asking you random questions.

#anar3xia #an0r3xic #an0rexic #a4a #male thinpo #tw ana thoughts

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auerisauers · 2 years

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i might make a part 2 to my “ed snacks/meals” post lol

#mealspo #ed diet #mealsp0 #ana snacks #ana meal #ana foods

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auerisauers · 2 years

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TW: BODY CHECK (I also have fading sh scars so scroll if it triggers you)

.

im not that much lighter than my sw, but im proud of my progress so far !!

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auerisauers · 2 years

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today I visited some places in NYC that were in banana fish, and I have I have never been more suïčïdäł

yesterday I also went to see one of the locations, but today my mental state has deteriorated far more

im fucking exhausted to start off

I’ve been crying nonstop just while walking the hour long walk to the NY public library, and when I got there, it felt like my heart was giving out from how bad it hurt. I cried some more when I was inside, and took a bunch of pictures

before that, I went to a museum that was in banana fish and i legit sh’d again after being clean for 2 months

yesterday, i had a nervous breakdown and sobbed while at central park

i haven’t eaten a single thing today because of how overwhelming everything is, and I’ve drunken about 2 sips of water this whole day

New York City makes me so depressed

fuck banana fish honestly

I can’t stop crying over ash and eiji 😕

even if it’s been almost a year since I’ve watched the anime and began reading the manga, I will never get over them

#banana fish #nypl #fucking kms #ash and eiji #ash banana fish #eiji banana fish #ash x eiji

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auerisauers · 2 years

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some of my favorite ed snacks/foods:

*pictures of all will be at the bottom*

-mints (these really help if you want something sweet that’s low cal) ||3 cals per mint||

-clif bar thins (these are really good for a snack, and they come in multiple flavors) ||one pack is 100 cals||

-snacks from the made good brand (a lot of their snacks are low cal and will satisfy your cravings) ||most of their snacks range from 90-200 cals|| *the one in my picture is 150 cals for 55 crackers*

-popcorn (stereotypical ana food ik, but i genuinely enjoy it) ||100 cals for the white cheddar kind from skinny pop||

-konjac jelly ||one pouch is usually between 5-10 cals||

#ana foods #ed diet #ana snacks #anar3xia #safe f00d #an0rexic #an0r3xic #ana meal

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auerisauers · 2 years

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i love these pictures so much

#slitfr #tumblrwantsmedead #hopeitwillallbeoversoon #imsodehydrated

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auerisauers · 2 years

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i look back at their tiktoks and they look so happy together. all hanging out without me. the two of the main ex friends that i had convinced the rest of my “friend” group to unfollow on everything and not to talk to me at all. i would ask if they genuinely want to not be friends anymore, but im too much of a coward and i don’t want to seem desperate. they hangout all the fucking time and i have no one. i just want to sl/t again. it’s been exactly one month since school ended, marking one month since i last sëlf härmëd. it feels like my scars have faded and i want to preserve the memory, so im fighting the urge to do it again. i have a pool party today with family friends; im absolutely repulsed with the way i look and people will see the old sc4rs on my hips. ive tried to relapse back into my ana since summer has started. it’s going horrible and i can’t stop b/nge eating. i fucking hate everything, and my dentist app didn’t go well. i have a bunch of small cavities and 3 major ones. one of which might require a crown and im scared as hell. i just want to wallow in this sadness.

i hope my old friends fuck themselves but i also miss them sm bc i have no one.

#slitfr #ikthesehashtagsarestupid #wishiwasdead #imlosingmyself

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