ask-gabbiebry-blog

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

Haunted by Depression

Today I'm feeling depressed! It really started quite suddenly. Everything was fine. I was fine for weeks, maybe even happy. But something happened. Actually, to be honest, nothing really happened! I was upset by someone who I actually liked. They didn't say anything or physically do anything, they just ignored me. If someone had insulted me verbally, or attacked me Physically, I might have responded immediately either verbally or physically, but I was ignored and it played on my mind so much I became depressed about it. Now you may be thinking"Oh my God! What is the matter with you?" You are not depressed, you are sulking like a two year old! And yes, I agree, it is a really incredibly stupid thing to become depressed about, I know that, frankly, I REALLY know that!

But that's often how my depression starts. Something pointless, something stupid, something that I should be able to ignore or merely shrug off, suddenly takes on a life of its' own and takes over my mind and switches off the light of happiness, only to replace it with long dark lingering shadows of doom, gloom and despair.

It doesn't matter if you call it"manic depression" or “bipolar disorder" or just plain "sulking", beating depression, or if you want, the symptoms of bipolar, is really tricky. For some people, like me, it happens usually quite naturally after a few days, or in extreme cases, a few weeks. I don't personally enjoy taking drugs like Prozac, but I can well understand why many people do. Chemical or Physical. What is the cause? Many users of these drugs are not aware there are real benefits from substances other than pharmaceuticals, such as Black seed oil.

When the problem with depression is a chemical thing like hormones in the brain, why would it be triggered by an off the cuff remark from a cruel relative or work colleague?

If it's a chemical problem then surely all sadness would happen at odd moments like while you're watching a really funny movie. One minute you would be laughing your head off and then another minute attempting to jump out of the window and wanting to end it all.

I have no doubt that there are substances involved. All emotions are chemical by nature. Happiness, sadness, love, lust. These are all made possible by chemicals / hormones within our brains being switched on at particular moments as a result of external influence, like seeing a beautiful lady in a short skirt walking bye... POW... Immediate Lust Chemicals flood the brain!

So I guess the "causes of bipolar" are a composite of physical outside influences, causing an internal response which switches on related chemicals to prepare the body for whatever might come next, but for some reason, the responses are exaggerated.

Why does this affect some more than others? My current bout of melancholy was set off, I believe, by simply being ignored by a specific individual, maybe at a specific moment in time when I was feeling vulnerable.

Someone else might think that I am just being a wimp. Perhaps they, and maybe you too, would not be the slightest bit affected by this incident. You might, if you're a depression sufferer, even feel that what I'm feeling doesn't deserve to even be called depression!

You may even feel that I must re-name this article"Living With a Demon Called Sulking!"

It is a matter of personal opinion.

Whether or not my depression is better or worse than possibly your depression or someone else's, does not really matter. It certainly does not matter to me. So far as I am concerned, I'm depressed and nothing that you or anybody else thinks will change that.

Last night I felt terrible. I mean REALLY bloody awful. I hated the world, I hated people... yes, even you! And I hated myself. I hated myself because of all of the things mentioned previously.

When you are depressed, or when I'm depressed, I start by blaming the individual or people, or the event, which I think is the cause of my current depression. But soon, once I have finished ranting and raving, or sometimes just sitting quietly (as if sulking), I go on a guilt trip and begin to blame myself. I blame myself for not reacting more favorably. I blame myself for not speaking my mind. I blame myself for not sticking up for myself. I blame myself for putting myself in a stupid situation. I blame myself for not learning lessons from similar past events. I blame myself for blaming myself and not punching the person responsible for my depression on the nose.

The more I think about it, the more depressed I become. Until very soon, what was possibly a very small event which triggered a mild depression, becomes greatly exaggerated in my mind and the mild depression expands like a huge dark storm cloud stretching over the horizon casting its' shadow over what I see and know.

Is there a cure?

How do you drag yourself out of a depression? (Perhaps we should ask the authorities!) Well, it ain’t easy! Now I pulled myself out of bed early. I went shopping. I didn't really need anything but I ended up with several packets of biscuits. Now, you see, I am a few pounds over weight. But I have managed to lose over a stone in less than three months, which is excellent! However, I have found that doing something naughty is a great way to clear the clouds of melancholy. It isn't simple, it isn't straightforward by any means, and it might take several packets of biscuits and chocolate chip muffins with copious amounts of tea, before I begin to get better.

I don't recommend it for everybody, especially when you have a weight problem. If you are on a diet and think that eating five packets of biscuits might actually make you more depressed, then I suggest that you do something else naughty instead.

You might find that going into a secluded wooded area, taking off all your clothing, then running around shouting"I hate the world but I really like my fat arse!" Might only be enough to start to clear your melancholy. Always bear in mind that things WILL get better!

I know it's not easy. But you must keep in mind that no matter how bad things seem to be right now, that they can't stay this bad for ever!

That is something which I constantly keep telling myself when I get depressed, or just a little fed up with the world.

EVERYTHING is temporary. Even mountains get reduced over time. Your problems, my problems, the countries problems, are all temporary.

If there's absolutely nothing you can do right now to ease your situation, if there's absolutely no action you can take to alleviate your dark feelings, if running around naked shouting that you hate the world but love your fat arse has had no positive effect on you whatsoever... then all you have to do is have patience and wait... long ... and I promise that whatever the problem is that you have right now... barring cancer or any other terminal illness... it will pass. But obviously, if there is some action you can take, like maybe making an apology to someone, or talking to someone who has upset you, or any action at all that will help to address your present problem, or at least bring the issue out into the open so you can deal with it physically or verbally, then that's much better than sitting in a dark room festering over it.

Writing this article has done me some good. I don't feel as depressed now as when I started it. I certainly don't feel happy and cheerful, yet. But I'm in recovery. And I sincerely hope that at least one sentence has made you smile or given you some idea as to how to start your recovery. I am sorry there is nothing scientifically proven in this report. It is just a load of stuff in my depressed mind. Perhaps I will read through it in a few days and choose to delete it, I don't know.

So, is there a response? Can depression be cured without stuffing yourself with harmful tranquilizers, or munching on figure ruining biscuits? Is it possible to simply laugh yourself from depression?

I honestly and clearly have no idea. Once this depression leaves me I will most likely be OK for some time to come. I don't suffer from depression regularly. It just happens sometimes. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a reason for it... it just takes over. And then, just as suddenly, it could be gone and I am left wondering what all the fuss was about.

Maybe I'm a wimp. Maybe your depressions are far worse than mine. Perhaps you thought this article was useless since it was written by a vain, useless, fat, sulking nobody! Well, at the moment, I would have to agree with you. But hopefully tomorrow, or perhaps next week, I will not give a damn what you believe, unless you have been helped by it in some manner, in which case, my depression will have been worthwhile!

Depression can be a life destroying, energy sapping, illness that affects not only every area of your life, but, the lives of those people you associate with. Friends, family members, wives and husbands, and yes kids also, can all be severely affected by your depression. So it's important to not forget, depression isn't just a problem for the sufferer, it's a problem for everyone who has contact with the sufferer. I use subliminal recordings / CDs, when I am depressed. I think the positive affirmations can help to raise my mood over the dark clouds of depression and the soothing music helps me to relax. Or sometimes I just post things to my Blog.

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

Why I lied about using anti-depressants

Sitting in an examining room, awaiting A yearly physical checkup, I hope I'll enjoy my new family physician and this new clinic. Kelly, the doctor's assistant, enters my vital statistics into the computer while I examine a poster about the examining room wall showing how to"cover your cough" This reminds me that I want to obtain a flu shot in this annual check up. Kelly looks at me, her hands still on the computer keyboard and inquires,"Can you take any drugs?" I re-adjust my dress. "What's my blood pressure?" I ask, trying to stall. "Am I taking any medicines?" I repeat in my thoughts. The solution is"yes," nevertheless I am not certain that I wish to acknowledge this to her and have it typed in my documents. The info will go out to cyberspace for everybody to see. They'll recognize the titles as antidepressants, rather than understanding mepersonally, I fear that they will judge me wrongfully. She looks at her watch, and I say "No."

I Surprise me with all the lie. However, I believe the need to safeguard myself. Even individuals in the health care profession significantly misunderstand melancholy . Kelly stands, smiles and nods, then turns, opens the door and leaves. I would like to call her back and say,"I understand you're educated and absolutely mindful of the study performed with brain scans which reveal depression is a disorder. You know, but do you really know?"

Can she know -- that would Know -- which I've been so ill, I've crawled in my bedroom cupboard in a desperate effort to escape out of life? Lying in the cupboard, self-loathing together with melancholy's relentlessness made my every thought torture along with also my every muscle damage. I struck my head against the cupboard wall at a frantic effort to divert myself from the melancholy's horrible pain. Fear crawled through me like a serpent coiling itself inside of me. I felt a burden heavy in my chest, suffocating and penalizing me. I curled into the fetal position, crying, smelling shoes, a belt buckle stabbing in my ribs. I dismissed the calls to locate me since I shook my head in my hands. My chest heaved and shook, as tears dripped from my chin. From the cupboard, I strained for any sign of lighting, any hope, any aid. There was not anything -- merely a complete lack of light. My entire life felt as dim as the cupboard and it appeared there was no escape.

I Could clarify. I stopped running across the river, I ceased planting my vegetable garden, I stopped visiting reserve club and I stopped inviting people over for Sunday dinner. I let the phone ring friends called to chat and laugh. I could not even sit down and compose a very simple thank-you note or cover a bill. And I ceased making cinnamon rolls. I condemned myself for not getting the power to perform it. Sexy, homemade cinnamon rolls are among my family's favourite treats and I like making them on particular occasions.

Depression Robbed me of several things. However, I gradually found my path to health. I state route but it was like an obstacle program. During medical attention, medication, treatment and a determination to resist and conquer, I've learned how to control my illness.

I Created a"toolbox" for myself. The box, blue with grey stripes and green blossoms was a massive make-up kit I eliminated all of the plastic dividers from and started to fill with things I found inspiring or useful. These posts, all assembled into one area, makes them readily available for me to utilize. You will find CDs of John Denver songs; Simon and Garfunkel songs; static webpages are worn out of use, together with inspirational quotations and scriptures written on these; thoughts for exercising written down, thoughts for support; a few of my favourite novels and a few family photographs. You will find posts about depression study I cut out of magazines, a little gratitude diary, my favourite image of Christ and much more. The things within this box allow me to keep courage -- daily courage which comes one step at a time and receives no more awards. However, it's that courage that gets me into my psychologist's appointments also assists me to take my medication every day. It's that courage that ignites my constant efforts to control depression. It's this courage which makes me powerful and makes me feel like me .

That afternoon, as I leave the physician's office, I'm determined to lie and perpetuate the stigma of depression. I've so much I will share. I'm the 1 out of 4 individuals Who suffer from this disorder, and that I understand this illness is life threatening and disabling if not handled. I am able to encourage individuals that are trying hard to look for expert assistance. It helps them, reduce their suffering, keep their relationships strong and attract health. There's light. There's not any need to be frightened.

Subsequently I want Kelly to observe with me as I tell her about the afternoon after I Woke up feeling serene and moved downstairs into the kitchen. Sunbeams from The window brought in a range of colour together with their light. I had been Happy I noticed color . I awakened while sprinkling flour onto the countertop. I began mixing and kneading the dough; sexy cinnamon Rolls will shortly be around the table.

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

An insight to depression

#Depression #Mentalhealth

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

Recovering After 24 Years on Antidepressants

This is the story of my recovery from depression. I expect it to be An ongoing process that will take a little while. But I want to show that recovery isn't only possible but should be the expected result. This writing will expand. I learned as a kid to keep my mouth shut as my thoughts and ideas were not welcome. So, I'm adding to this as I think of things that I want to discuss. It's a bit of a struggle for me to convey, so please bear with me.

I have suffered from depression my entire life. One Doctor explained that dysthymia (or moderate depression) was what I suffered in between my major bouts of depression. The causes of my depression were environmental. I was raised in a really dysfunctional family in Minnesota. My parents were both alcoholics and depressed, and their dysfunction became my growth environment.

I have had three major bouts of depression:

The first time was at puberty in the eighth grade. I had no confidence in myself. My youth was full of messages from my father telling me I was fat, that fat people are ugly, and that no one would ever love me. So, I grew up feeling fat and ugly. I was so unhappy, I could barely make it to my room after school before the tears could begin falling. This happened almost every day. My parents took me to a psychologist who did hypnotherapy with me. It proved to be rather effective for the short term.

My next major episode of depression was a senior in college. I came to understand that I would soon be leaving college and entering the work world. I had no confidence in myself and was soon lost in tears within my prospects. I called my parents at home and they came and got me to spend a couple of days at home. I was educated but not prepared for life.

My third major episode with melancholy happened at about age 40 in 1991. We were now living in Oregon. I had an excellent job in the high-tech business at a computer maker. I was building test equipment for our product for manufacturing and maintaining that equipment and much more. I was running the lab, and purchasing parts, and serving as a lead in my group. I had received accolades at the job I was doing and went on an employee excellence excursion as an award. When I got back from that trip I was told,"We must cut back, and your group has been dissolved." Some people in my group lost their jobs, and others got reassigned. The management forgot about me. I was finally assigned to a project in purchasing which was essentially grunt work. I was typing purchase orders and submitting them. I became very depressed and suicidal. I didn't understand how to resolve the dichotomy of being told I was an excellent employee and then put into a job that was so bad for me. The carpet of self-confidence was pulled out from under me.

I contacted my health insurance company in 1991 to get help. I had never taken advantage of my insurance so they sent me a questionnaire to fill out to assist in finding me a doctor. It took one and a half years to get a doctor appointment. I had never been taught to fight for myself, and consequently wasn't able to fight that battle. Worse, I thought I really did not deserve assist.

Once I finally got in to see the doctor, I began Taking antidepressants in 1993. It took six months before I started seeing an improvement in my mood. I was also put into a cognitive behavioral therapy group which I found to be quite enlightening, but of limited usefulness. It demonstrated to me how we see and think about things when sad, and how twisted it had been. It lasted 10 weeks.

Over the years I have taken a wide variety of antidepressants. There was always a balancing act between which was worse, the depression or the side effects. Side effects included things as minor as dry mouth, for constipation, irritability, a zombie-like condition and sexual dysfunction.

I stopped taking them on my own double, with disastrous results. I got extremely depressed both times. It was worse than before I started taking medications. I'd stop in the middle of the workday to run into the bathroom and cry. It felt as though I had a bowling ball in my stomach. I ended up going back to my doctor both times and carrying something else. Antidepressants changed my mind chemistry. Stopping them too fast or without medical supervision is a really bad option.

My doctor told me after the next time I would need to take them for the rest of my life. I believed him.

In the end, I was taking 500 mg of Nefazadone in the Evening and tried a lot of different antidepressants in the daytime. I had problems with all of them.

The last morning antidepressant I took, I had to stop Taking it when people told me how zombie-like I was. I spoke and moved very slowly.

After nearly 25 years of taking antidepressants, I had no emotion left at all. I felt dead and wanted to be dead.

I was overwhelmed. I couldn't do daily tasks, keep up on My daily chores, or manage my own house. We had 36 acres of land that I was managing, but I couldn't do it anymore.

In 2016, my husband and I made a decision and proceeded to Southern Oregon, and sold our house. We wanted to be closer to family and to where my husband grew up. My doctor in the Portland area told me that I had to make contact with a new psychiatrist here to"handle" my medications.

Moving and packing was a nightmare. Our house was in Total disarray, and making decisions about what to pack and when to pack it proved to be very tricky for me. My mind was spinning, and I couldn't make decisions about what to do. We did the move really slowly. I think we went down and up I-5 about 25 times over the course of six months. The new house was located on about five acres (we really downsized) with a panoramic view of the Rogue River valley.

I chose to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I truly liked her. I was still not doing well, so we talked about my beginning anti-anxiety drugs. She appeared to understand me.

She made it clear that she'd be unable to continue Treating me -- she couldn't bill Medicare, which I became qualified for within several months of arriving in the valley. She referred me to my doctor.

Shortly after I started seeing him, my new doctor had me read the book Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. It took me a while to read it, but by the end, I became angry over the manipulation and lies that the pharmaceutical industry tells to the public about psychiatric drugs. The FDA only requires six months of studies on the efficacy of psychiatric medications. They don't require any long-term studies. Independent research has shown that psychiatric drugs have very limited usefulness over the long term and in fact can be detrimental. The pharmaceutical industry also says that mental illness represents a physical problem with the brain that needs to be fixed. There are no studies that prove that this is true. Doctors are now taught in school to prescribe medication, not to deal with mental disorders.

Studies have also revealed that in the case of Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, the weaning-off procedure can be very difficult. Close to 20 percent of US citizens are on a psychiatric medication of some sort and this nation has the worst results on mental illness by far in the developed world.

My therapist and I collectively made the decision to wean me Off of the drugs. We started by decreasing my meds by 10% per month. He always asked me if I was ready to return, and I ended up saying yes. Finally, a physician was teaching me, as opposed to telling me!

In the beginning, it was a very scary process for me. Since I had twice gone off drugs in my, I knew how bad it could get. I was also expecting that at some point in time, my feelings could come flooding back.

There were a couple of episodes of anger which I Experienced while I was reducing my drugs. I got angry with my husband for letting the dogs out of the house at a bad time. I got angry with a bird for pecking on our metal chimney. No one got hurt, and I learned about riding out my emotions. Feeling them in a safe way.

At the same time, I was also learning tools to help me with my emotions. I was learning to meditate and diary. Meditation in particular has proven to be a remarkably important tool for me. It has helped me"smooth out" my emotions and gain a deeper understanding and compassion for myself and others. I can say without exaggeration that meditation has saved my life.

1 time early in the process, I had been meditating and I was thinking about how scared I was reducing my medication. After a time, a voice came into my mind saying,"You will be okay." What an amazing thing to happen! I finally came to think it, and it became easier and easier to keep on reducing my meds regularly. My last dose of medication was taken in June of 2017.

Earlier that same spring, I started attending a local Buddhist temple. Buddhism has been an interest of mine for quite a long time. In coming to the valley, I found myself with a selection of places to go. My physician had started teaching me the way to meditate, and that I wanted to deepen that practice. At the temple I learned about various activities I could take part in that would help me learn more about my new ability. The 1 thing that really called to me was a one-week meditation retreat that would happen in June. At first I rebelled against the idea of one week away from home meditating, but I came to believe this was the ideal thing for me to perform.

So, I applied to the temple for permission to proceed, and that I went. There were three 90-minute meditations per day. On the recommendations of the lamas, for each session I spent 30 minutes meditating, 30 minutes analyzing and another 30 minutes meditating again. I had found a book there to study. It was known as The Mindful Way Through Depression. As soon as I saw it I knew that was what I needed to work on. I read the entire book during the course of the week.

It was during that time that I took my last doses of antidepressants. I had started feeling emotions. During one of my study sessions, I started thinking about all the years of depression, and I started crying. I cried for about an hour. Just being able to shout was such a relief! It was very great for me. I plan on attending the same retreat this year.

My individual therapy continues. I am also participating in group therapy. I still suffer from anxiety which I'm confident I will find out how to deal with. Group therapy also involves getting a"buddy." A buddy is someone you meet with weekly or semi-weekly to chat about what is going on in your life. We have only 1 assignment, and that is to tell each other our life story. After that the agenda is our own. It's a hard thing to do. It can be quite emotional. It is in fact a great way to get to know someone. I have a lot of buddies now and it's so far gotten me some great friends, for which I'm incredibly grateful.

What else have I learned? 1 thing I have learned about Is my "inner guide." That's who spoke with me when I began down the path of drug adjustment. The inner guide can be called God, Great Mother, former lives, and many other things. The internal guide helps me make the hard decisions, once I learned to listen to it.

The good news is, I'm alive. I feel alive, and that I now Have emotions, both positive and negative. I am really grateful to have all of them. First and foremost, I have pleasure.

I'm also reconnecting with my husband in a wonderful way. We're talking about what I am going through and what I went through.

I am learning more every day about how to be more proactive in my own life. I no longer wait for someone to tell me what to do. I understand what to do by seeking appropriate people, books, and thoughts. My growing self-confidence gives me great hope!

#depression #anxiety #antidepressants

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

People against psychiatric medication don’t usually say straight up, “I don’t like medication, so you can’t have it.” Because that sounds stupid and wrong even to themselves. But that is often what is at the core of their arguments.

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

Anti-depressants and weight gain

As many as 25% of people who take Particular antidepressant Drugs report gaining weight, and at times quite a bit -- as much as 100 lbs. Most antidepressants can lead to weight gain, and different drugs affect people differently- you may gain weight on a single antidepressant but not on another, even when the second is known to cause weight gain in some individuals. Overall, it is thought the effect is more likely to occur after taking medication for six months or longer.

According to Mayo Clinic psychiatrist Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D. A few of the drugs which may be least likely to contribute to weight reduction will be Effexor (venlafaxine) and Serzone (nafazodone), whereas Wellbutrin (bupropion) tends to induce weight loss. Conversely, he says that among the antidepressants which seems most likely to cause fat gain is Paxil, an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). Of the other SSRIs, including Prozac, Lexapro and Celexa, Zoloft might be likely to cause weight reduction.

No one knows for certain why antidepressants do so. Some may trigger Food cravings, especially for carbohydrates. The medication may also have an effect on metabolism. It is also possible that when the antidepressants are effective, you are less miserable and recover your desire (though this could only apply in circumstances where loss of desire is a symptom of depression). And bear in mind that overeating can also be an indication of depression that could lead to weight gain no matter taking antidepressants.

In the Middle of the obesity epidemic, undesirable weight gain due to Antidepressant use is rarely mentioned, though it might be a substantial contributor since these medications are now the most frequently prescribed pharmaceuticals in the United States. In 2005 (the last year for which figures are available) some 27 million Americans age six and older were carrying them.

Just how many of the millions of individuals should be on antidepressants is another concern. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association on January 6, 2010 reasoned that prescription anti-depressants can provide little benefit for patients with mild or moderate depression although they really do help patients with very severe depression. Here are my suggestions on treating mild to moderate depression.

Losing the extra pounds you've gained while taking antidepressants Isn't always easy. Sometimes, the solution Might Be as Straightforward as Altering drugs. Be sure to consult with your physician along with a Nutritionist to be able to structure an eating and workout plan that Will not interfere with your therapy. I recommend 30 minutes of aerobic Exercise a day, which is the most effective remedy I understand for mild to Moderate depression. It Is Going to also help with weight control by building Lean muscle mass and burning calories.

#anxiety #prozac #pills

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

[ask-gabbiebry-blog]

https://instagram.com/p/6BD1scDUg-/