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alexhasaknife · 1 year
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ever since my little brother got a girlfriend, hes been saying uwu, but like really loudly and pronouncing the first u as an a. ive told him to stop but he doesnt. if he starts saying ada ada i dont know what im gonna do but its not going to be good. 
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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thinking about this again cuz i just tried to watch a video of baryshnikov and kirkland in the nutcracker and got through 5m of it before i got bored. i have to watch that cuz i do ballet. my brain is fucked. 
i just spent the better part of an hour watching a fully grown man not press a button, whilst talking to his individual body parts, the button itself, and of course himself. what i am i doing with my life anymore.
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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so i might like this song a little bit
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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ok so i have a big doggo. and sometimes he needs to go outside when im not dressed. so i go out in my pj’s and flipflops when its warm. anyway today was one of those days but im lazy so he yelled to go outside at like 12:30. and i had socks on but didnt wanna put my tennis shoes on. anyway im pretty sure my neighbors were wondering what my issue is.  
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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hello friends!!
I was trying to explain my dysphoria to someone, and realized!! that shits hard!! so i just threw together a little story about it (loosely, ofc) and wanted to share it!! enjoy!!
I woke up, and glanced at my clock. It said it was 11:23 AM. I took a deep breath, and sat up. Pushing my weighted blanket aside, I got out of bed. 11:23 meant that i had slept too late again, and I was going to be lethargic today if I didnt take my meds soon. I got my cup of water from the kitchen, fed my dog and cat, and headed to the bathroom. 
I glanced at myself in the mirror, only to remember I forgot to put my glasses on. Setting my water down, I waltzed off to my room to find my glasses. They were right where I had left them last night, sitting on my nightside table, next to a note to remind me to take my meds. I threw my glasses on, and started to grab the slip of paper to throw it away- and stopped short. 
My nightstand was a different color. Scratch that- everything was a different color. My bed, my walls, my floor, everything looked- colorful. Wait, was it my glasses? I took them off, and put them back on. No, not my glasses. I guess my eyes changed overnight? But that doesnt make any sense. That would be a medical miracle. Remembering about the note im my hand, I ran to the bathroom to take my meds. 
I grabbed my water and meds, threw the note away, and was about to raise the water to my lips when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Realizing the medicine was dissolving in my mouth, I glugged down the water, and started to stare again. This was the first time I had seen myself in full color. I knew I was colorblind, but also knew that there was nothing anyone could do about it. The meds were for my ADHD, but so many doctors had tried to give me something to make me see in colors. 
I looked so… weird. My face was kind of the same, but not. I always thought I had grey eyes, but now they looked green. I also never noticed I had freckles. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s a bit like a huge weight was just lifted off of my shoulders. I blinked at the person in the mirror, and she blinked back. I stood and stared for a while longer, but then my stomach growled and I realized I hadnt eaten yet. 
Rushing to the kitchen, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat at the island. I stared at the bowl of peaches in front of me, and wondered what color you would call that. Growing up colorblind, most of the colors look the same-ish. I got my phone from the bedroom, and looked up ‘color names’ to help me out a bit. The peaches looked kinda… orange? Yeah, orange looks the closest. I turned to the counter, which hadnt changed colors. I was wondering if my newfound powers were lapsing, and turned back to my phone in a mild panic. No, the colors were still there. I sat in confusion for half a second, then spotted a color that looked like my counter top. Grey. So thats all I’ve been seeing for all these years? Now I have a name for that color. 
A rush of excitement filled me, and I ran around my apartment putting different things to color names. The tile in my kitchen was blue, and the countertop was white and grey. My ceiling was white, my couch was brown, my curtains were white- I stopped. Looking out the window, the full scheme of what I had been missing all these years finally hit me. I stood staring out at the veiw of Denver. It was beautiful.
I spent the rest of my day on cloud 9. I was so happy to finally be able to get to see all these colors, for the first time in my life. It was the weekend, so I didn't have to go to work, and I got to just look at colors all day. I walked around the park, went to starbucks, and did everything else I could think of to do. By the end of the day, I had decided that my favorite was this orange/yellow color I saw in the clouds around 7 o’clock. It had taken my breath away, and I was very sad to watch it leave. 
That night, I wrote down some of the things I had seen today, because I thought it would be important to remember for later. I played some minecraft, and went to bed. 
I woke up the day after this started, and put on my glasses. I put them on and off again several times. I couldnt believe it. My bedsheets, that had been green the day before, was back to grey. The floor, the nightstand, the ceiling, my curtains. They were all back to they way they had been all my life. I felt a stab of grief, and sank back into my pillows. Realizing I had work today, I got back up and somberly got ready. 
I was so exited to tell all my coworkers about what happened. To ask them what their favorite color was. I wanted to say, “Hey, I’m like you now! Look at me!” but now I know I’ll never get the chance. I don’t know how, but I could feel that it wouldnt come back. Ever. So now I know exactly what I’m missing. I know what 93% of the world sees, how they all take it for granted. Or maybe they don’t who knows. All I know is that I’ve never felt so alone in those days after this all happened.
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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i need to just get some shirts that say IM BI or IM TRANS in all caps with theier respective flags. you’d think wearing *only band shirts... always* would be enough. but alas, the danger days mcr shirt has failed me.
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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all im saying is, if you turned a cat into a human, and kept the sharp teefs, you would have basically a vampire, with a few exceptions
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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i just spent the better part of an hour watching a fully grown man not press a button, whilst talking to his individual body parts, the button itself, and of course himself. what i am i doing with my life anymore.
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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if you pronounce adhd with the letter sounds instead of the actual letters, it sounds like ara ara. which means that every person with adhd is hot as shit.
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alexhasaknife · 2 years
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hey, everyone who lives by windmills, I got a question for you;
is it scary? especially at night? the towering blades? the unseen tallness of them at night, only to see the syncopated red flashing lights? does it frighten you? do you ever look out your window just to see them, blinking all together except one or two taller ones? like one mind. one system. one goal, and you do not know what that goal could be. power for your small little town? perhaps. but who knows? they blink all together, showing you that they are there, constantly. their massive blades may seem dull to you, but to a being much, much larger, they could be sharp as razorblades. they could be simply pinwheels. who knows?
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