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Zukos’ Lost Eyebrow

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zukoandthelasteyebrow · 3 years

Text

I died

How they respond when asked “who would you marry, if you could?”

Obi-Wan: I consider myself married to my work. My life is dedicated to the Force. I suppose you could say that I’m married to the Force. Shut up, Satine.

Anakin: *shifty eyes* ummm…. marry? who said anything about that? I’ve never even heard of marriage. what’s a wife? i certainly wouldn’t know i don’t even know what a woman is

Padme: …you can marry people who aren’t women, anakin

Fives: well, i think i’m at least halfway married to Echo, and the other half of me is married to Rex. Does that count?

Rex: not Fives

Kix, ungluing himself from Jesse’s face for .05 seconds: what did you say?

Cody, wearing Obi-Wan’s tunic, drinking tea from Obi-Wan’s mug: i’ve never thought about it

Ahsoka, dumping a box of magazine clippings out on the table: well there’s this pop singer and she’s super hot, and there’s also this stunt performer from alderaan whom i’d honestly let choke me with her biceps, and this is a picture of a lesbian farmer i found on the holonet, and this lady-

Rex: Ahsoka that is literally just a picture of some woman’s shoulders

Ahsoka: e x a c t l y

Yoda: become one with the Force, everyone will *whacks your shins with his stick*

Mace Windu, eye twitching: a t t a c h m e n t

Boba Fett: I am going to grow up and marry the abstract concept of revenge. our children shall be Glorious Victory and Death to the Jedi. Those are not names, those are also abstract concepts

Wolffe: I don’t have time for marriage i barely have time to take care of all these fucking kids- Sinker goddamn it put your brother down

Plo Koon: I do not need marriage to make my life complete. I do, however, need some adoption forms. Several thousand of them.

Bly: n o o n e *hides notebook with “bly secura” doodled on it behind his back*

Aayla: Bly please. We’ve been married for a year.

Commander Fox, Very Stressed: I’m going to marry the fucking chancellor, and I’m going to get the mother of all pre-nups, and then I’m going to divorce his wrinkly ass and take him to the fucking BANK and leaving him with NOTHING. and i’m TAKING THE KIDS TOO.

Palpatine: I would marry Democracy. No, not the abstract concept, I would literally marry democracy. I love democracy. You see, here is some fanart I drew of me and democracy together- warning, it’s nsfw-

Tarkin: I would marry my fluffy bunny slippers. they are the only ones who have always been there for me

Dogma: … can i marry a reg manual?

Echo: no you can’t i already asked

Rex: actually you know what, i’d marry Senator Amidala, just to see the look on Skywalker’s face for the .3 seconds before he obliterates me and i find the sweet release of the void

Ahsoka: …you okay there buddy?

Rex: no. no i am not. i am very tired and very stressed and i need to punch something

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