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Editing my wav and like...I hate my voice right now. Hate HATE. It just doesn't sound right or good enough.

It's bleeding into my professional work too. Ughh. I'm procrastinating so bad.

I'd do another recording session but I have that "why bother" mindset that's so fucking hard right now. Rreehhhh. I hate my brain.

#zen rambles #might delete later #lots of people going through depressed phase right now #i see yall and i feel #i know ill get over it its just been going for like a month now #which is stupid long for me #usually i bounce back faster #part of me is like JUST POST IT #but is that me just putting my validation over my craft? #tingling with anxiety rrreehhhh

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You should totally watch SMG4 content it's a bunch of meme stuff but half the time there's lore n stuff :0

*revs engine* Alright here we go. Ready for my next hyperfixation!

#ask #zen answers #LETS GOOOO

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Have you ever heard of Mr. Puzzles from the SMG4 show?

I hadn't heard of him until I saw him compared to Vox but a little digging had me kind of...horning on him?? I never watched the show (movie?), know zilch about it, but from the small clips I saw of this TV guy: he's insane and likes to sing and THAT HAT--ok, you don't have to convince me the similarities between him and our TV demon daddy.

I fucking love this screenshot:

woof??

#ask #zen answers #i want to know more about this show #and yes all because of insane tv man #i'll probably be digging deeper on this

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You are a heartless bitch. May you find God some day. I will pray for you.

What are you doing here? *shoos*

#was really on the fence about answering this one #because really what's the point #but it seemed hypocritical of my to only answer the 'nice' asks #and my good bitch if you don't give me a reason i'm going to assume you're mad that i'm licking demons #yes i'm a sinner i kiss demons right on the mouth #that or this is part of that angry anon from months ago who is still pestering me but #who knows i'm just kinda meh at this point #just baffles me why they're here ON A KINK BLOG with this rhetoric lmao #this one is MILD compared to others i get #i don't answer all the bad ones yall #ask #zen answers #drama

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Sorry for the ask/answer floods. Just got back internet access. Hoping to have something good to post this week! ✌️

#stay tuned #zen update #not snz

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youre so nice even when youre being dunked on (maybe too nice hahaa). I also like that youre not afraid to say youre wrong about something. Not everyone does that and I respect you for it.

This is something I've worked on a lot in the past few years. I know I mess up and my takes aren't always right/good. I do have things I stand by and (I am learning to stand up for myself better 😅) but yeah. I try to learn from my past and move forward.

It means a lot that you see that in me 🥹 Like A LOT I'm just...ffff...these asks are hitting a lot of my insecurity buttons yall. Whew! Thank you so much, anon <3 I love yall so much 💞

#ask #zen answers #i just kinda like seeing different opinions and takes #and some things i can bend on some things i can #take a while and say 'hm maybe i'm just fuckin wrong?' #there's a lot of information out there and i don't have it all so #ehhh even this i'm like “am i wrong for changing my mind so much?” #YALL MY BRAIN IS SO WEIRD LOL #but at least my weirdness is appreciated <3

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You're amazing and so kind and considerate, and give so much to the snzblr community! Plus you seem such an open and generous person all round. <3

AHHH THANK YOU 🥹🥹 I am honestly a bit self conscious about how heart-on-my-sleeve I am. I probably say more than I should (big bipolar feelings etc) but...well I know what it's like to feel alone in your thoughts. And if there's someone I reach with my experiences, it's worth it.

Not everyone is gonna vibe with me, and that's alright. I am here for those who do, and those who don't can just enjoy what I make while chewing on a lollipop I guess 🤣

But your ask makes me feel more confident about being myself and okay with saying what I feel. That's huge for me, after decades of being told it's not okay to do. So thank you anon 💕

#ask #zen answers #i am still working through my trauma dump phase #getting better at shutting my trap #but sometimes the fire burns eheheh #yall are sweet and kind and i appreciate these asks #really helping during rough times #thank you thank you my heart

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You’re so amazing and so kind! You have created so many amazing things too <3! Also thank you for commissioning me a while back, it really helped me out and boosted my confidence as an artist~ It’s really great having you here in this community!

Ooooofff you're so welcome and THANK YOU!! One of my favorite things to do when I have extra funds is support other artists and creators and you all deserve it 💕

I'm so lucky to be in a community with such amazing creators. I'm so glad it lifted you up, thanks for returning the favor now!!

#ask #zen answers #😭🥰 #sometimes i worry that my replies feel generic #but im serious this is how i fucking feel #and if it seems silly or cheesy then well thats me #im actually charlie morningstar folks im a disney princess who likes to sing to birds and #maybe drink blood now and then #love you all!!!

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you're so cool and creative, thanks for everything you've given to the snz community

Thank you so much!! 🥹 I hope I can continue to bring yall more good stuff soon 💕 You're so welcome! I love making cool shit more than anything

#ty for the boost! #perfectionist mode is making my projects lag #but more are coming #love you all 💕 #ask #zen answers

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Sneezy Sniper - Hell/uva Boss Snz Fic

Absolutely! Thank you anon for this request!

And thank you to the people who commented/tagged my last Hell/uva fic! It motivated me to finish this one as quick as I did!

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“Alright, Moxxie, target spotted and coming your way.” Blitzo said through his earpiece.

“Got it, sir. I'm in position.” Moxxie was laid on a plateau surrounded by tall grasses and wild flowers, sniper rifle at the ready to take out the target.

“And I've got your back, Mox,” Millie said from beside him, keeping an eye out for any danger from the woods behind him. And keeping him company, since danger wasn't super likely on this job.

“See you back at the office. And Moxxie?” Blitzo said casually.

“Yes, sir?”

“Don’t fuck it up.”

Moxxie glared even though his boss couldn’t see it and huffed with exasperation. Blitzo just chuckled as he disappeared through a portal back to their office and then his comm cut off. 

Moxxie lined up his shot and settled in to wait, even his tail settled low in the grass and slightly curled in antcipation. He sniffled and brushed a few pieces of grasses away from his face. He tried to clear his head but he was distracted by a tickling feeling in the back of his nose. He rubbed his face against his shoulder trying to reduce the itch while keeping his eye pressed to the scope. But the tickle wasn’t backing down at all.

Shit. He needed to sneeze but the target could appear any second.

“Mih-illie…I nee-hhh-need…hheh…”

“Moxxie?” Millie turned her attention to her husband and quickly realized that Moxxie was fighting a sneeze and losing without being able to use his hands to hold back. “Oh darlin’, I got ya.”

She laid down, pressed along his side and shfited her arm so she could press two fingers to his flaring nostrils. She rubbed her fingers firmly back and forth.

“Hh..huhhh…? Ohh, thanks Millie,” he sighed with relief as the urge to sneeze lessened. He was sure his cheeks were burning with embarrassment at having to get Millie’s help to hold back a sneeze, but it was better than missing he target. He sniffled weakly trying not to throw off the equillibrium they’d reached. 

Then his breath caught again, hitching despite his best efforts. It just tickled…so badly… “Huhhhh….hh-hih….” He rubbed his nose against Millie’s fingers trying desperately to hold off. His eyes were beginning to water and he hastily blinked away tears.

“Just hold on a little longer, Mox.” 

“I’m-hih…I’m trying…Hihh…” Millie pinched firmly at his nose, buying him a little more time. Then he held his breath as he saw the target through the scope and took the shot. 

“You got ‘im baby!” Millie confirmed and Moxxie clambered to his knees and hastily brought a hand to his face. “Issht-Tshxt-Ishxt..’ He stifled a triple and then lowered his hand.

“Gesundheit, Moxxie.’ Millie shifted to sitting next to him with a curious look when he heaved in an unexpected gasp. “Ishhxt-Tsshew-ISSHHIEW…Hhh..”

“Gesundheit. Baby, you gettin sick or somethin?”

“Ndo..hih-hh…I’mb finde-Huh’ISSHHEW…hh-Hihh’EISSHHuhh…”

“Mox?” Millie asked with some real concern as his eyes dripped with sneezy tears and his face grew flushed around his nose. 

“Sorry I cah-cand’t stop-EISSHHuh…hihh’’Huh’ISHHHEW hh….ISSHXT-shieww - EISSHHhhh…oh cru’bs..” He winced as he noticed the pollen floating in the air around them and assumedly the cause of his current condition.

“Oh Moxxie. You must be allergic to somethin out here,” She rubbed his back at he let out another triple. Then she reached into his inner jacket pocket for the handkerchief he carried, but rarely needed unless he was sick, and pressed it into his hands. “Blow your nose, baby. I’ll pack up your rifle.”

He nodded his thanks as he muffled more sneezes into the kerchief. He was so grateful Blitzo wasn’t here to see him becoming a complete wreck from some earth plant life. 

“Hh’Huh’MPHTSHOO…ESshmph…” He blew his nose and kept the kerchief pressed to his face in hopes it would help him stop sneezing for a minute.

“Alright, upsie daisy,” Millie said brightly as she scooped Moxxie into a bridal carry, sniper rifle slung across her back. She ran and jumped her way across the grass until they reached an empty strech of road with none of the wild flowers around. 

“Ugh. I’b so embarrassed.” He groaned pitifully into the damp handkerchief, still pressed to his face to hide the mess behind it.

‘Aww, don’t be Moxxie. I still think your cute all red and drippy.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and he smiled bashful and pleased. 

“I love you, Millie.’

“I love you too, Moxxie.”

“ISSHHEW’

Millie laughed softly. “Gesundheit. Let's get you home and take a nice shower.”

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Please let me know if you liked it!

Requests are still open if anyone has ideas for what they'd like me to write next!

[ Snz Fanfic Masterlist ]

#😭😭😭 #my beautiful couple #this was the SWEETEST THING #millie helping him hold back is my LIFE #ahhh i am starving for these two #THANK YOU 💕 #snz #snz fic #hell/uva #hella/verse

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Love love love the thought of someone pausing their work, thinking they’re going to sneeze, hitching a few times, and losing it. They go back to working, but it happens again, and again, until they can hardly focus because of the maddening sneeze that simply will not come. In the end, they sneeze without warning (or perhaps they fail to heed the warning they did have, after their nose cried wolf too many times), and have to scramble to cover. Or don’t.

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reblog this if you want anonymous opinions of you

#sure why not #maybe a boost will help spur me to write something #or if i've got a bad take change my mind :)

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Fascinating takes here

Recently, ALL of my OCs have heavy traits of mine.

Ren: alcoholism, accent shame, savior complex; Leo: gender struggles, family drama, people pleasing, high on life attitude; Skye: depressed, hopelessly in love, denial is a river in my head, forks are for people who hate food, boy i could use sunshine; Sasha: anxious, creative af when the moon is full, don't talk down to her, give that poor girl a hug.

I gave two of my characters a snez fet and two of them like the same music as me, I could go on 🤣

I made Beckett his own person at first, he was just a fever dream I came up with based on a board game I was playing at the time, but even he developed anxiety because I can't write a deep character without putting at least a bit of myself into them.

Before I made my LSSR characters I didn't really do that. Richard and Kuga didn't have any of my traits (not that I know of or purposely put in). Their stories were just fluffy, fantasy sweet bits that didn't get too deep. Which was good for what I was writing. Times change I suppose.

It's really fascinating to see how other people write.

I want to ask all of the OC people which of their own traits they put into which of their characters (accidentally or deliberately) and if there are any they have very little in common with (not necessarily demographically, just personality-wise/behavior-wise/communication-wise).

#writing stuff #not snz #i think the reason i went so hard on the LSSR gang is #because it was originally a novel #and I just took it and snezified it #like those ocs weren't supposed to be for tumblr but #i just threw them into a fet tornado and here they are now #they're now snzblr trauma babes #whereas beckett is more of a snzblr born allergy bitch #beckett still has a couple of my traits but hes more 'for snez' #in my vanilla works my ocs do have some of my traits too so it's not specific to the LSSR gang #did I say too much i'm sorry to tag flood stfu zen

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A little dazed "Oh no..." because they know what's about to follow.

Share your favorite post-sneeze exclamation with me!

I personally love a good “whew!” or the ever sexily polite “excuse me!”

#snz #snzblr #snz thoughts #everyone else had my faves #just wanted to add this one

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when they emerge from behind the tissue even more bleary-eyed than they were before the sneeze

#snz

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“Ive been sneezing all day” ok so kiss me

#snz

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Am I the only ancient being who still writes with pen and paper?

#zen rambles #pen and paper gang? #writing #my first edit is when im typing it out onto the computer #i have hard copies of everything ive written lol #keeping the paper industry in business #i guess?