wytchs-house

[wytchs-house]

holy fuck do I feel like a waste of space. The people in my house never talk to me anymore. Never invite me out anymore or see what I'm doing. They all left with out telling me today. I feel like I'm so annoying and inconvenient. All I can think about it that I should kill myself. But I'm too tired to even self h/rm

#vent #dark #bad place #sick

[wytchs-house]

I think my best friend doesn't need me anymore

#vent #sick

[wytchs-house]

i wanna be ruined

#vent #ventcore #traumacore

[wytchs-house]

I often lay awake at night now. Often past 2am. I think about my friends. Mostly about my one friend. Love feels like holding a sick baby bird. Wasting away. I think about my friends and I wish I could kill myself.

#vent #///sh

[wytchs-house]

0 days self harm free since 2/18/2022

#there were several loud arguments outside my door #i tired to choke myself. #i knew it wouldn't kill me #just wanted to try

[wytchs-house]

I hate feeling things.

I'm just waiting for the next bad thing. I fucked up some how I know it's gonna be bad I wish I know what I did

#vent #paranoia

[wytchs-house]

God I just wanna break down and cry. I just wanna cry. I wanna ugly sob. I wish I could make myself cry.

#vent

[wytchs-house]

I want to rot in here.

I want to die.

[wytchs-house]

.

#0 days sh free #im just so tired #i dont wanna be here #im entitled #i made everything worse #i hate being trans #its so difficult #its so hard for everyone around me #everything just hurts #i wish to god i didnt exist #that it would all melt away #that it would stop #that i could kill myself #i wish i could #i wish i knew how #i wish i could cut more #i miss wearing long sleeves all the time #im so tired #i wanna open a vein. let it all run out #let me go #vent #let me leave #i wanna go so bad i wish is never lived at all

[wytchs-house]

i feel like i died a very long time ago and now nothing thats happening is real

#yeah. #had to put this here cause its a little dark for main blog #its so hard to remember things from when i was young

[wytchs-house]

I can tell if 10 minutes or 3 hours have passed

#vent #stupid #also i shaved all my hair off yes i am having a britney moment #:)

[wytchs-house]

#vent

[wytchs-house]

Im remembering why some many people thought i was a rude person

#ventcore #vent #just throwing thoughts out there tonight #im back on my bullshit

[wytchs-house]

some thoughts

04.03.21

#vent #but the art and writing is very good

[wytchs-house]

#vent #id rather just not explain myself

[wytchs-house]

God i passed out for like 3 hours and woke up like this, i hate dreaming;

I wanna feel someone, i wanna hold their body into mine so it feel real so it feels like the cavity in my ribs and stomach is filled, i want someone to sit in my lap so i can rest my face on their shoulder, i want them to face me so i can bury my face in the chest or the crook of their neck. I wanna make out, i wanna be greedy, i wanna kiss someones hands and neck so shoulders and anything. I wanna play with your hair, and play with your hands and paint your nails. Let me drape my arms over someone, lemme listen to them talk, lemme dote over them and stare at some beautiful face. I wanna sit next to someone, i want them to feel safe with me, i want them to lean on me while we sit side by side. Im been so desperate for even ounces of affetion, of romantic interest. Sure I'll be your friend but i wanna be more, i want someone to be my everything, i want you to make be drop the walls so you can come in. I want someone to tell me its okay that im a little clingy, i want someone happy to accept the attention.

I just wish i didn't have to be so terrified of people. Wish it didn't feel like a pipe dream.

And dont reblog this or tag fictional characters in this. These are my fucked up little fweeling and im venting

#touchstarved #vent #i feel a little better after spilling my guts #yelling into the void about romantic affection for no one in particular #cause i dont even have a crush or any intrest in anyone right #i am just: lonely #and thats it #touch starved

[wytchs-house]

vent

Do you ever feel too fucked up to be loved?

I’ve been hurt in so many ways, my interests are enough to scare someone away, I get attached so quickly, let alone my actual issues holy hell…

I want to love someone, I want to be loved, but it’s been driven into my head that I don’t deserve it and I know I’d literally cry if someone gave me affection at this point.

#feeling this #every god damn day #i had friends try and help me unlearn it but im so sensitive to change and secretly jealous that i just went back to thinking #that i was unlovable #after they got a boyfriend. i wasnt romanticly interested in this friend #but i was hella jealous about how much less attention i was and am getting #which feels petty and fucked up but here we are #trying to hide my jealousy cause i want her to have a good life