woodlandcreatur

[woodlandcreatur]

The amount of problems, throughout history, that would've been solved by the general population simply refusing to do a thing is astounding.

King: "Hey kids go fight this war so me and my buddies can get richer"

His subjects: "Nah"

King: "How DARE you?! Guards, execute them!"

The guards: "Nah"

The enemy King: "Hah! They're vulnerable! Invade them!"

The enemy King's subjects: "Nah"

#196 #late night thoughts #history

[woodlandcreatur]

Sure this game might be a return to form for our beloved series, have more playstyles to choose from, a far better roster of enemies brimming with personality, better balance, actual buildcrafting, the distinct charm that was lost in the previous entry, and an endgame that amounts to "fight literally any monster you want"...

-but it does't have realistic graphics and isn't the hardest game I've ever played so its bad.

#monster hunter #monster hunter rise #monster hunter world #monster hunter wilds #196 #gaming #video games

[woodlandcreatur]

Tarnished, I apologize, but thou'rt unfit to become my lord.

It is not you, however; it is merely that mine eyes bleed with pain every time I look upon thine face. In my life, I have seen rot consume my siblings and innumerable corpses twisted by destined death... but thine visage is truly unprecedented in horror.

#elden ring #ranni the witch #lunar princess ranni #shitpost #196

[woodlandcreatur]

My favorite part of One Piece is when they inevitably reveal that the One Piece isn't actually a physical treasure and, instead, is the "one peace" brought on by a kind-hearted pirate king.

#one piece #anime

[woodlandcreatur]

People love to harp on how tough Goku's body is, or how strong the bones in Saitama's hands must be...

But what the fuck are Zoro's teeth made of?

#one piece #anime #dragon ball #one punch man #late night thoughts

[woodlandcreatur]

In hindsight that "put yourself first / don't take shit" self-help fad of the late 2010's may have made people worse

#196 #shitpost #late night thoughts

[woodlandcreatur]

The sheer medical malpractice of locking a patient in a rubber room full of rats when it is known that rats were what made them go crazy is insane.

#rubber room #rats #rats make me crazy #crazy? i was crazy once #crazy #shitpost #196

[woodlandcreatur]

Who started the franco-prussian war?

ask me any question about math. anything at all. i won't have the correct answer because i don't know anything about math but you can ask me anyway

[woodlandcreatur]

Some people think that Elden Ring is the worst souls game, aside from DS2; and to them I say:

why the fuck are you being so generous?

#dark souls #elden ring #gaming #196 #shitpost

[woodlandcreatur]

Best part is how it requires your perfect, visual attention but we've all decided that cars should be these glossy, ultra-reflective hunks of metal that shine the full might of the sun into every driver's fucking eyes.

literally how is driving not incredibly scary for everybody. how is it so normalized. girl you are going to DIE out there

#cars #196

[woodlandcreatur]

If Toei Animation made a series recapping the entire LOTR trilogy, it'd be 10,000 episodes long and every episode would only feature half a page of content.

#one piece #196 #anime #toei animation

[woodlandcreatur]

"Product recalled due to poison... Product recalled after listeria outbreak... Product found to contain lethal amounts of cyanide, promptly recalled"

Look. I'm glad the FDA catches shit to begin with, that's way more than you'd expect out of an American Regulatory Body™️... but isn't the entire fucking point to catch deadly products BEFORE they sell?

#politics #196 #usa #fda #food

[woodlandcreatur]

I unironically used to think chitin was pronounced shittin'.

#bugs #insects #crabs #shellfish #196 #shitpost #words

[woodlandcreatur]

doom metal taught me that music can be groovy and radical and also incredibly evil both at the same time. this lovely world

[woodlandcreatur]

I take my socks off, revealing that I wasn't wearing any socks to begin with. "Someone call the fucking ambulance"

Whenever I notice I'm wearing mismatched socks, I imagine being surrounded by a gang affiliated with some niche political ideology and escaping serious trouble by taking my shoes off, revealing one black sock and one yellow sock, and saying, "Look! I'm a libertarian too!" Thinking about getting more colorful socks so I can imagine being accosted by stranger and more obscure gangs.

I take my shoes off, revealing one red sock and one galaxy patterned sock. "One day we will all escape to the one place untouched by capitalism: SPACE!!"

I take my shoes off, revealing one candy cane snowflake patterned sock and one old-fashioned nautical map patterned sock. "I'm sick of keeping quiet! Santa is a foreign agent!" I take my shoes off, revealing one black and white striped sock and one neon alien patterned sock. "ACAE! ACAE! All Cops Are Extraterrestrials! This is a good thing! Back the green!"

[woodlandcreatur]

You can make anything on tumblr funny by imagining it being said in the setting of a nursing home

#196 #shitpost #tumblr memes

[woodlandcreatur]

"Foghorn Leghorn is a timeless character" everyone says after forgetting about his existence for some 40 years.

#shitpost #foghorn leghorn #196