wishing--butterfly

[wishing--butterfly]

the summer moon was born from the waves to be loved (gojo x reader) pt 2

or, you got pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

tags: 18+, afab!reader (she/her), baby daddy gojou au pt 2: electric boogaloo

AO3 || pt 1

TAGLIST: (bold couldn't be tagged) @cafedanslanuit @ainescribe @chiyoso @wishing--butterfly @hash-slinging-slasher-trash @sweet-evie @korrynn-nadine @strawberrycrash @juzestellium @theabbies @evalynanne @mghostsworld @syynnaaah @cupidezlyia @princessrow12 @lindascosmos @hydraafk @moosey

o. buoy

If Satoru was forced to use some sort of ocean-related terminology to describe you, he’d say you’re a buoy.

You were the marine biology major. (What was the difference between that and oceanography? Satoru had no idea. You explained it to him at least twice though). Because of that, Satoru heard his fair share of marine terminology from you.

Buoys were those floating things at sea, the ones from Finding Nemo that had all the seagulls on it. You said they were guiding posts, gave heads up for reefs or they could be warnings for hazardous zones.

To Satoru, you were like an anchorless buoy that ー no matter how far he sailed ー he could never reach.

i. halocline

You’ve never felt permanent; not to Satoru.

You sooner felt like one of those quickly formed friendships you thought would last forever only for it to dwindle out as fast as it started. Then that person was just a forgotten name in your contacts list until you’re scrolling down and going ‘Who the hell is this? Delete’ without a second thought.

It was strange.

An oxymoron of the highest degree.

How did someone who was such a constant in his life from the moment you set foot in it simultaneously feel as impermanent as foam on the waves? One minute you were there, the next you weren’t. Satoru wasn’t sure when the fear of you disappearing entirely crept in.

When those looks started appearing on your face.

All he knew was that it started long before he started sleeping with you and it started long before you left.

One moment you’re hanging out ー undoubtedly doing something stupid. Singing the wrong lyrics to a song on the radio, putting Suguru’s hair in pigtails, watching María la del Barrio with Utahime who took one Spanish class and made telenovelas her entire personality for a month ー then you’d grow quiet and this far away look would be in your eyes. Satoru never knew where you went in those moments, but it wasn’t there.

So he’d do something to anchor you back to land. It didn’t have to be much.

A poke to the cheek,

a tickle to your side, 

calling out to you,

sometimes he’d even play with your fingers.

It didn’t matter what he did as long as you’d blink and grin and go “what’s up?” and everything would feel right in the world.

It never would feel right long enough though; the look always came back and the feeling would persist.

When you sang songs in the car.

(“I can do it fast or slow, it really doesn't matter, though. 'Cause I'm a pro, what you say? You wanna take me toe to toe? Uh no, dude, I think so,” you’d rap Kel’s verse flawlessly like you’d rehearsed it for hours. “My style is phat and Immature’s got my back on this funky trackー” you pointed at Satoru enthusiastically.

“You want fries with that?” Satoru would point back with way too much passion for a line that went way too hard for what he was actually saying. “Coo coo ca-choo whatcha gonna do?”

Shoko would roll her eyes but she’d still be smiling when Suguru softly brought in the chorus with rhythmic bumps of his head, “watch me do my thing, I like to do my thing, watch me do my thing, everybody sayー”

Your head continued to bump along but you stopped singing along and looked out the window. Satoru remembered he threw his arm around your shoulders loudly belting the rest of the lyrics until you laughed and joined back in.)

When you indulged Utahime’s telenovela personality change.

(“[First], quit zoning out. I’m bored.”

“Hey, unlike you, I’m actually paying attention.”

“Oh yeah, then what’s been going on?”

“Soraya Montenegro is gasping in Spanish right now.”

“Can you both shut u- OH MY GODー”

“IS NO ONE GONNA STOP THIS BITCH?”)

And at parties.

(Satoru always knew you were about to leave when you made that face. Things could start perfectly at the beginning of the night. You’d finally skulk out of your cave like you were Gollum from Lord of the Rings and wave him over. The next moment? You were in deep thought while your friends made joke after joke, rip after rip.

“Sorry gang, but my lips don’t touch anything but Don Equis and Asahi,” you’d say with an air of regality not suited for a party of college students. “Maybe Corona if there’s nothing else. I’m not drinking... whatever this is. So I’m gonna head out, there’s a 24 hour liquor store around here somewhere.”

“You coming back?” Satoru didn’t know why he asked, he already knew what your answer would be.

“Nah, I think I’m done for the night. I’ll catch you guys later though.”

“I’ll walk you back to your place then.”)

He doesn’t know why he looked at your lips that night at the park. 

You were friends, he liked being your friend. That’s all there was to it. It had always annoyed him up until that point when Suguru and Shoko joked the two of you were more like a couple than anything else. That he chased after you like a lovesick puppy, the pathetic but funny kind. He wasn’t sure why it annoyed him so much.

Maybe it was because it felt like it reduced everything about his friendship with you into that shit take that the opposite sex couldn’t just be friends.

Maybe it was something else entirely. He doesn't know.

You weren’t permanent.

Not while you sat beside him in a park at who knows when in the morning and not even when you reassured him his life would work out the way he wanted and you touched him like he was something precious to you.

“Be careful I don’t disappear for months, spirited away by the sea folk on my Children of the Sea shit. I’ll come back to shore occasionally, mysterious as the sea itself.” You already were as mysterious as the sea itself.

“Even if you got spirited away, I’d just go and bring you right back.” Satoru meant it. Even if, more than anything, it felt more like he was making that promise to reassure himself. It didn’t matter how far off to the sea you went as long as Satoru could bring you back to the shore. “You’ve doomed yourself.” More specifically you said that to him. Maybe he should have taken it more of a warning than a light-hearted nudge.

“You said it first, remember?” You did. He remembered it as clear as day. He’d stumbled onto an unstable boat and you were a buoy far off in the distance.

“There’s no ditching me now, not even at sea.” So stay. That’s all Satoru needed you to do.

The sprinklers that decided to join in on the moment must have been a sign that he was in the middle of a prophecy that was going to be fulfilled whether he wanted it to or not. That’s why he kissed you first in the doorway of your bathroom when you just came to ask if he wanted tea.

Buoys are supposed to have anchors, right? 

Maybe he could be yours.

When Satoru woke up the day after the first time you slept together, he woke up alone.

It wasn't until he reached out an arm lazily to your side of the bed and he patted the mattress several times that he realized no one was there. The bed had long since gone cold so you had to have been gone for a while. Yes, you called five minutes later from McDonald’s cheerily going “Yooo, Satoru, I’m at Mickey D’s, what do you want?” Still it cemented your impermanence and that was only the first of many times he woke up by himself.

You could be out the house or in; Satoru preferred when you were in. Sometimes you’d be in the kitchen humming some unknown tune, other times you’d be watching TV on the couch. Either way, he could drape himself over you with a tired ‘morning’ and hold you close.

(“What are you wa- is that the new episode of Love is Blind?”

“Um… I only just started it two minutes ago?”

“[First], what the hell!? While I was asleep?!”)

From then on when Satoru saw those far away looks, he’d kiss you since it was on the table now. Satoru put everything into those kisses and you’d kiss him back just as hard.

Don’t go anywhere. He’d thread one hand into your hair and the other would pull your waist closer to his. Satoru didn’t want or need anything else. Stay.

You kissed him like you would.

It’s crazy how easily you could just slip away from everything like a ghost that hadn’t been there at all. It was shockingly apparent that impromptu trip you took to the beach in the middle of the semester.

Everyone had been together in awe of the bioluminescent dots in the sea and it donned on him you hadn’t said anything in a while. You were gone.

He’d painted his panic in his usual bravadoー nonchalant and grinning, claiming he was gonna go bother you for a bit.

It was a relief when he found you.

It was dreadful when he found you.

Satoru couldn’t see your face clearly but he could tell your look was intent on the sea and how it shined with the glow of a billion bright lights. If there was a ghost ship calling you out to the depths, Satoru knew you’d leave in a heartbeat.

You slowly became more noticeably distant from your group of mutual friends after that trip. It didn’t start immediately, you’d acted the same as usual at first. You still sang songs in the car, Utahime had grown out of her novela phase in favor of all of you losing your shit at the editing of Indian serial dramas and in between those moments Satoru found himself in your bed again.

It was around that time you started kissing his forehead; when the kisses started, that’s when you started drifting away from his orbit. You said it was homework, your profs telepathically communicating to increase your workload.

You alright?

What kind of sadists are your professors if you’re this busy?

Just let me know if you need me to come over some kind of distraction. Sorry for coming over earlier unannounced, I shouldn’t have assumed. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.

“Do you think she thinks I’m being clingy?” Satoru mumbled as he stared at your text that you were fine just dying from homework. You definitely thought he’s being clingy. He’d always been a bit clingy with his friends. He was probably more overbearing than usual though.

“Yes,” Kenjaku replied without missing a beat. “You’re gonna get dumped if you keep this up.”

God what does Suguru see in this guy? He’s like a fucking parasite. “I wasn’t asking you,” Satoru glared. “And she isn’t my girlfriend.”

Suguru snorted, running his hands through his boyfriend’s hair, “play nice both of you,” he said lightly and Satoru rolled his eyes. “But if [First] is saying she’s fine, then just trust that she’s fine. She’ll come back around when her workload decreases.”

Satoru glared with a pout, “you’re worried too, don’t act like it’s just me.”

“I never said it was, it’s just that between the two of us I’m handling it better. I sent her a surprise uber eats delivery yesterday.” Asshole, that was a brilliant idea. Satoru wished he thought of it first. Instead he asked Shoko to check on you; maybe you’d be more receptive if it wasn’t him bothering you for the tenth text in a row.

Shoko went to check on you. Apparently you were fine and Satoru was worrying for nothing. She even said that you would come and hang out with them soon. Some people might say it’s a bit petty to celebrate the failures of others. In another universe, Satoru might even agree with them. But in this universe, Satoru was a hater first and foremost. So if he and his friends wanted to go out to eat to celebrate the fact Zenin Naoya was bitching about a failing grade on an essay, he and his friends were going to go out and eat to celebrate Zenin Naoya failing his essay.

Apparently, you were all haters.

It was also just nice seeing you again. If Satoru was more poetic, he’d probably add a bunch of other things to that statement. It was just nice to have you back.

“Karma is probably gonna come back to clap us in the ass for celebrating someone getting a bad grade,” you snickered.

“Sounds like a problem for future us,” Suguru grinned with a twinkle in his eyes.

“We go to school with the Japanese version of Ben Shapiro,” Satoru choked on his strawberry smoothie when Shoko said that. “I think we’re covered on karma.”

“Y’all are terrible people,” Satoru clicked his tongue, shaking his head in disbelief and shame.

“Hey, good neighbor, this dinner was your idea,” you nudged him with a dry tone and a smile.

Satoru nudged back with a grin of his own.

Dinner was fun, lots of drinks and jokes. It was a non-alcoholic beverage sort of night. Shoko said it was because they’d clearly been drinking too much if Satoru of all people had gotten better with holding his liquor. Her point was fair but rude nonetheless yet when Satoru turned to whine for you to come to his defense, the distant glaze was over your eyes and your smile was smaller than it had been the last time he looked at it.

“[First],” your motion to close your apartment door stopped and you hummed with a raised eyebrow. Satoru felt more dread than usual that night. Something about the air had been different. The face you made felt different than it normally did. It was always distant, you were always far away, but tonight was the worst it had ever been. “We’re good, right?”

You look at him like he grew an extra four eyes. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Satoru couldn’t meet your eyes as he shrugged wordlessly. You’d probably say he was being ridiculous and clingy if he mentioned anything but he couldn’t find anything else to say to make himself seem unbothered either.

You rolled your eyes with a grin before stretching your arms out wide. “You’re being overdramatic, you big baby. Come here, big guy,” Satoru pulled you in close, burying his nose in the corner of his neck. Despite welcoming your embrace, it did nothing to soothe Satoru’s anxieties.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Satoru asked without pulling away from you completely.

The way you smiled at him was warm but it still somehow felt unreadable. Satoru knew all of your smiles. Your happy ones,

the sad ones, 

the one you made when Sora finally got into Smash. 

The ones you made when you were mad that he was successfully charming his way out of you being mad at him. 

Satoru didn’t know this one.

Despite that fact, Satoru let you cup his face in your hands and he let you stand on the tip of your toes to place a kiss on his forehead. “See you, Satoru."

ii. undertow

Sleep didn’t come to Satoru after he laid in bed.

His head was too full as he kept running back through what you told him after he took you home.

You didn’t say you’d see him later.

You’re just being overdramatic, Satoru forced his eyes to close. You’re always overdramatic. It’s my best trait 30% of the time.

No one else said anything that night, it was just him who felt like this, right? It was always just him. If everyone else felt like something was off all night, someone would have mentioned it by now. With that, Satoru forced his eyes closed for all of five minutes before he decided to send, at the very least, a dumb meme. Something that’d make you laugh when you saw it and would make you reply “I’m wheezing” or “that’s so us!”

A quick stroll through his photos was all it took to find something suitable. He can’t remember exactly what it was, only that it was stupid.

It was stupid and didn’t go through to your phone.

A disconnect and reconnect dance to his wifi later and it still didn’t go through.

Satoru’s feet was on the pavement before not even a heartbeat after he calmly made sure his apartment was locked.

He just had to be sure you were okay. It was just him being an overdramatic, big baby. Your phone died or something and that’s why nothing was going through. Or maybe this was like the time you put your phone in airplane mode to narrowly avoid sending Shoko the wrong meme and then forgot to switch it back off.

You don’t answer the door when he knocks and he goes back and forth between knocking and trying to reach you on your other socials.

Twitter? Blocked.

He can’t find you anywhere else.

Instagram.

LINE.

Discord.

It’s like you were never there, gone from all the group chats and servers you once shared.

Satoru stayed outside of your apartment for the better part of an hour before one of your neighbors opened her door tired and annoyed.

“Dude, do you know what time it is?” Your neighbor asked groggily. She’s a nice girl, the reason rent was low enough in the area you could afford an apartment on your own. Apparently she wrecked shit in the neighborhood on the low to keep the rent down. Even better was the fact she was the landlord’s daughter. Not all heroes wore capes. 

“Sorry,” Satoru knew he must look like a maniac with his messy hair and wide eyes. “have you seen [First]? I’m having a hard time reaching her.”

The neighbor gave him a funny look, “she moved out tonight,” she told him like that was the fifth time she told him that her favorite color was orange. “I thought it was weird you didn’t help with moving her stuff out a few days ago. She gave me the key to give it to my dad tomorrow. Didn’t she tell you she was leaving?”

iii. la niña

Satoru didn’t know which was worse sometimesー the fact Shoko kept the fact he had a daughter a secret for five years or how he found out.

It wasn’t like Shoko approached him one gloomy night when memories of the most prominent ghost in his life began bubbling to the surface. She didn’t grimly say that she needed to tell him something and he should sit down for it. She didn’t start off with apologies, saying she felt she had no choice or that if things had gone different she would have told him.

None of that happened.

Satoru found out by accident.

Accident.

All because Shoko didn’t hear him approach her when she was on her phone scrolling through instagram. She was so focused on whatever she was looking at, she didn’t even notice how Satoru quietly snickered to himself and snuck behind her to give her spook. He was just about to say something, ready for swears and ‘you’re so annoying, what are you 12?!’s when he took an instinctual glance at her phone and he saw you.

Thoughts of scaring Shoko went out the window in a matter of milliseconds. He didn’t even feel his body move when he snatched her phone out of her hand.

“Heyー” Shoko started with an offended hiss but when she looked over her shoulder, she looked like she saw an impending storm and her jaw clamped shut.

Satoru took in the photo like it was the last thing he’d ever see. You were dressed in a blue t-shirt and cream colored shorts, some aquarium’s logo stitched into your clothes. You were holding a kid, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek while the girl was caught mid-giggle. And when Satoru looked at the little girl in your arms, it was his eyes that looked back.

“I- she told me not to say anything,” Shoko murmured, brown eyes looking anywhere but at him. Then the secrets came rolling out one after the other.

“If I didn’t see this picture,” Satoru’s grip tightened on Shoko’s phone to ground himself to the present. “Were you still going to keep this a secret from me?”

Her answer was silence.

iv. el niño

“I have to be honest,” from the corner of your eye, you see Satoru chasing after Itsuki, Nanako and Mimiko. Suguru is watching next to you on the bench, your respective care bags for accidents and playground injuries at the ready between you. “I thought I’d be more surprised you’re a dad now. But it kinda just makes sense. You always had ‘single mom’ energy in school.”

Brown eyes flash with recognition, “you had a dream about me adopting kids once, right?”

“No, I had a dream where you were off a perk and calling people without powers ‘monkeys’,” you correct your old friend petulantly. As if he should have remembered after all these years without contact. “You just happened to adopt children in the process of all that.”

Suguru snorts, “my apologies for getting the details wrong. So you had a dream that I adopted kids once and that I was off a perk."

"Exactly, thank you."

A silence somewhere between comfortable and awkward settles over the two of you, save for the squeals of little girls and Satoru’s manic laughter as the evil sorcerer king.

Suguru looks nice. 

He’s still rocking the man bun but he’s opted to let some of his hair hang loose and he’s a couple hundred pounds down a shitty, parasitic boyfriend. Suguru and Kenjaku broke up halfway through the semester after you transferred. “Before you ask, yes, we had dinner to celebrate,” Suguru told you when you saw him for the first time in years a few days ago.

You’ve had your fair share of private updates on the lives of your old friends you didn’t keep in contact with. Shoko kept you up to date on everything. A surprising number of your old friends had gone into the field of educationー Utahime, Suguru and Satoru. You wonder how Satoru’s parents reacted to that information. You have yet to ask; it seemed like too much of a mood killer when Satoru happily recounted stories about his students a few weeks ago.

When Itsuki almost trips you make to stand but Satoru catches her before you can blink. 

“He’s pretty good with her,” Suguru says like he’s a mind reader. “There was this kid we used to babysit, Riko, when we were younger. He said he hated it but he’s always been pretty good with kids.”

You can believe it. There’s plenty of things you remember Satoru complaining about despite his inherent talents in them. It makes you want to cry sometimes seeing how good he is with Itsuki. Your daughter is smart enough to play neutral when he asks but you’re pretty sure your daughter has a favorite parent. Adorable little traitor, you laugh softly to yourself. You’d think five years would give someone an edge.

Five years.

“Are you… mad?” You look at your old friend from the corner of your eye.

Suguru takes his time answering, mulling over unknown thoughts in his head. Playful as you remember Suguru being, he’s always been introspective. He thinks before he acts, lets things slowly come to a boil before turning off the stovetop. “I was more worried than mad to start,” he finally speaks. “It’s not everyday an entire group of people gets ghosted. I’m a little mad you didn’t open up though.”

Your smile is small and your eyebrows knit apologetically. 

“But at the end of the day, this is nothing compared to what went down between Satoru and me in high school. So I guess I can forgive you.” You never did get the story about Satoru and Suguru’s mysterious high school turning point. The itch to know all the details is minor compared to the way your shoulders relax when Suguru shoots you a familiar smile. I missed you too. “Just don’t do anymore disappearing acts.” Smooth as they come, Suguru raises a closed fist just above your care bags. 

Smile a bit more grand, you bump the side of your fist to his. “I can happily vouch that it won’t be happening again.”

“Good. It’s nice to have you back.”

“It’s nice being back.”

v. sea state

“Did you get an undercut?”

“Yeah, a while ago,” Satoru grins. “I look nice, right?”

“Please accept the compliment normally so your arrogance doesn’t rub off on our daughter,” you shake your head but a good-natured grin is plastered on your face. “Itsuki, make sure Daddy behaves. You’re in charge as the honorary aquarist.”

Itsuki’s eyes fill with delight at the duty bestowed upon her. “I will,” she promises, chest puffed with as much pride as a five year old can produce. It’s a rare day off in the middle of the week for Satoru. Normally he’s confined to his school during these hours, but thanks to some school holiday you scheduled in advance for him to take Itsuki around your aquarium. It isn’t the first time Itsuki’s been, you’d taken her there before she could even walk. It might as well be her first visit though from how she’s beaming. “Daddy, you have to be good so Mommy doesn't get mad.”

“As you command, general,” Satoru salutes playfully, picking Itsuki up in his arms. “Now then, if you excuse us, this father-daughter duo is gonna enjoy the aquarium while you work.” 

“Bup bup bup,” you tut before the man can take off. “At least let me get my goodbye kiss before you run off to have fun without me,” you peck Itsuki’s cheek once, twice before blowing a raspberry and she squeals. “Alright,” you place your hands on your hips. “You two go have fun. Tell Daddy all the names you gave the whale sharks, okay?”

You think that’s that until Itsuki innocently asks, “where’s Daddy’s kiss, Mommy?” You blink once. Maybe you misheard- “You’re supposed to give both of us goodbye kisses, aren’t you?” Apparently you haven’t.

“I think Daddy’s too old for goodbye kisses, Itsuki.”

Itsuki squints, unsatisfied with your answer, “but Grandma always kisses Granny and they’re ancient.”

Why do your parents have to have a long lasting and fulfilling love life?

You and Satoru share an awkward smile as you both wonder what either of you can do to get out of this situation. Kissing Satoru used to be as easy as breathing. He’s always been the more affectionate of the two of you and it rubbed off on you some time during your university days. But you’re not in university anymore and your relationship has most definitely changed since then.

Still with bated breath, you gesture for Satoru to bring his head low enough for you to kiss his forehead, “there. Now both of you go have fun.”

If you think you see Satoru’s expression dim, he’s all smiles the moment you blink. “Try not to be jealous when you see us feeding the stingrays, [First].” He’s gone before you can tease you’re the one of the employees that help with that.

Once a maelstrom, always a maelstrom.

You love your place of work, it always has a familiar noisy sort of peaceful bathed in the light of blue decorated in corals, pinks and purples. Aquariums have a special magic to them. You fell in love with the sea when you were young and never fell out. The magic somehow is renewed every time you clock in, even on the most trying days.

How can you not when you see the dozens of people that stop by with the same love?

How can you not when you see dozens of people that stop by and fall in love with it for the first time?

“Hi, Mommy!” You hear Itsuki call from a distance. You wonder how she can even see you when you look up and see she’s on Satoru’s shoulders. It’s so natural, the two of them together. She’s wearing his sunglasses, if you can really say that. They keep sliding off her face but she holds onto them resolutely and Satoru is smiling widely in front of the tank full of black tip reef sharks, whale sharks and dozens of other fish in between.

You don’t know how your heart can fill with even more affection than you thought possible but it does. “Hi, baby,” you wave back. “I love you!”

“I love you too!” I have to enjoy that before she gets old enough to start thinking she’s too cool to tell her mom I love you. You know Satoru should too when you see her lean over to plant her father an awkward kiss on his head. You can’t hear what she tells him but you can guess she must be saying she loves him. Even from his profile, you can tell Satoru is saying he loves her back from how adoringly he looks up at her.

You see Itsuki giggling and saying something else you can’t hear, looking down at her father in earnest.

Whatever it is she says, Satoru looks over at you with eyes that are wide and somehow reflect all of the blue from tank lights. Despite how it makes your heart twist, you give him another small wave. When he doesn’t wave back, you wonder what it is your daughter could have said that had him in such a stupor.

Whatever he says to Itsuki, his eyes stay on you while he says it.

vi. nearshore

“Do you still like the same brand of honey or no?” You call over your shoulder from the kitchen.

It’s unusually quiet in your apartment since Itsuki is at your parents’ house for the weekend. You only realized you’d forgotten to tell your co-parent when he showed up at your house with sweets in hand. “What Itsuki doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” you told him with a snicker when you invited him inside to eat them. 

“Satoru?” You call out again.

No response.

You turn off the eye your kettle is on and look out into the living room. He’s right where you left him. “Hey,” you sit on the ottoman in front of him. He blinks in surprise when he sees your hand waving in front of face. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Satoru smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Let me rephrase that question,” you start anew. “What’s wrong? Come on now,” you grin crookedly. “You’ve always sucked at pretending to be okay in front of me.”

Satoru’s smile falters for a heartbeat, “yeah?”

“Yes, Mr. Bravado,” Satoru might have been an expert at fooling others, but you know him. He was the guy who never took notes but passed every test because he worked his ass off in the background. The type who’d act oblivious but you realize halfway through a meal that the reason he took you is because he noticed you’d been feeling down lately. It’s one of the things you love about him. “So come out with it, fess up.”

One, two, three seconds pass before Satoru finally cracks.

“I’m mad. More at myself than anything.” Before you can reply, Satoru opens his mouth again but it feels more like he's talking to himself. “I shouldn’t be upset anymore, right? We made up.” Satoru runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. “We made up,” he says again. “I shouldn’t still be mad about anything. Things have been going great.”

Satoru finally falls silent and he looks tired. You hate you’re the reason for it. “It’s okay to still be mad about Itsuki. I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I… I’d take it back if I could. I know that doesn’t mean anything after five years but I mean it. Even if I was scared I should have told you. I just- I don’t know, it had gotten into me. I was thinking how you couldn’t commitー”

“You thought I was non-committal?” Satoru raises an eyebrow and he looks hurt by your revelation.

“Satoru, you have never been in a relationship with anyone throughout the time I’ve known you,” you rub your finger and thumb together nervously. Five years later is as good as any time to have a conversation you should have had long ago. “You were scared when I asked what our relationship was, remember?”

“I didn’t know what the right answer was,” Satoru argues with his hands raised. “I thought you were tired of our friends always talking about us being a couple.”

“You were relieved when I said that-” you stammer over your words thoughts going much faster than your mouth could. You remember the tormented days of unrequited affection quite clearly. If there was someone who avoided romantic relationships like the plague, it was Satoru. He was a flirt, relished in the attention he received for his well-known good looks. Regardless, he’d never committed to anyone. “You said fucking someone else was a non-issue! For all I knew you were sleeping with someone else, it wasn’t like we were-”

“It was a non-issue if it meant you weren’t going to take off and start avoiding me!” Satoru snaps like you’ve grown a second head. Maybe you did judging by how he looks at you incredulously. Your mouth closes, unsure what to say next and Satoru looks away with a scoff. “It’s the other way around,” he mutters so soft you almost didn’t catch it. “you were the non-committal one.”

“Excuse me?” It’s your turn to look at Satoru like his body has magically sprung additional body parts. When he doesn’t immediately say anything, you double down. “Satoru, you don’t get to say that and then turn around and not elaborate on it.”

“You know, the first day we met, Suguru told me that I acted like the sun shined out of your ass,” Satoru says much to your confusion. But he went on, lost in his memories, “it might as well have, I thought you were so cool. I wanted you in my life so bad from pretty much the moment you said I doomed myself. I didn’t care what happened next in my life as long as you were there for it.

“But you left me,” Satoru croaks with a smile, crystal blue eyes dark and empty. “You left me.” The way he says it breaks your heart. “I’m so gone for you. I’ve always been gone for you. I just didn’t want to see it. Somehow I always knew you’d leave.” He laughs, cold and humorless and completely lost. “And you did.

“You could be right there with me and then suddenly be so far away. It always felt like you would just up and leave one day. You and Utahime always talked about intuition and trusting it. I guess mine was saying from early on ‘this girl is gonna break your heart one day, don’t fall in love with her.’”

“I knew it when you got those far away looks in your eyes. I knew it when I woke up that first morning alone. I knew it when you didn’t say you’d see me later. And just like that you were gone on that ghost ship. You left and didn’t even tell me you were going. Do you know how much that fucking hurt? I wait outside for hours and your neighbor’s the one who tells me you’re gone. I may have purposely lied to myself about how I felt but I never slept with anyone else. I didn’t want anyone else. I was the one who kept reaching out, you never reached back.

Itsuki’s the second tier on the cake and the rest of the frosting. You’ve been gone on that ghost ship for five years and when I finally catch up, I still feel like I’m drowning.”

“... I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I didn’t know.”

“I know. That’s almost the worst part. Guess I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve as much as you thought.”

.

.

.

“It was the week after our second year midterms,” you recall when you were six years younger and the biggest problem you had in life was a professor was out to get you. Midterms had finally passed and you were on a victorious emotional high after finishing your last exam. At least until some asshole who should have covered their mouth coughed and you were coughing by the end of the day. “I got a cold and just so I could breathe better when I slept, you let me lay on you on the couch the whole time even though you ended up getting sick afterwards.” 

You’d felt so bad, coughing all the while but Satoru hadn’t let you budge an inch, proudly claiming ‘I don’t get sick, I’m built different so cough away.’ When he got sick days later, he said over coughs, ‘This has nothing to do with when you were sick. This is from Suguru.’ “That was when I realized that I’d been stupidly in love with you ever since I met you.”

Gojou Satoru has been called many things throughout your years of knowing him. But for you, the fall child has always been easy to love. He was made for it. “You were a pain in the ass but you were my pain in the ass. I never wanted it any other way.”

“Stop being mean to me,” Satoru leans forward to rest his head on your shoulder just as you wrap your arms around his back. “Don’t you know who you’re being mean to when you’re being an ass?”

You laugh weakly, “the guy I’m still gone for?” When you hear a sniffle in the corner of your neck, you tighten your grip.

"Don't go away this time," Satoru hugs back.

vii. ocean deep, seafoam soft

Satoru finds himself in your bed again for the first time in years.

“I confess my love to you and you try to kill me, I'm hurt.”

“Oh don’t be such a baby, I didn’t even know it was there,” you chuckle fondly after the two of you stumble into your bed after nearly tripping on a stray toy on your floor. Satoru loves that laugh. He loves how you look up at him with all the adoration in the world. “Remember that time we forgot that textbook was on your bed?”

“Please don’t remind me, my back hurts just remembering it,” Satoru whines but laughter escapes him despite his apparent trauma. It wasn’t one of your best moments during your shared years of sexual escapades in college. You pull him down kiss his lips tenderly and he practically moans, relishing the feeling. No more forehead kisses, he wants to tell you. You did that a lot before you left. 

"I love you," Satoru whispers in awe at the words falling out of his own mouth. In awe at the fact you’re even there with him at that moment. “I love you.”

Your hands cup his face like he's something precious and you thumbs away the tears pooling in his eyes despite the ones in your own, "I love you too.”

Satoru’s had sex with you more times than he can count. 

He memorized everything, refused to forget a single detail. It feels like the first time all over again.

The way one set of your fingernails dig into his back while he envelopes your other hand with one of his own. How your fingers intertwined tightly. How amazing you feel squeezing around him tightly. The speed of your pulse as he peppers your throat with kisses and soft nips. The ache between his legs as he rolls his hips into you gently yet persistently, chasing his high but wanting it to last long beyond the confines of this singular moment. 

It’s not just this one moment anymore though. “[First],” Satoru squeezes your hand tighter. “[First].”

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Don’t leave me this time, Satoru gasps like a man starved for air before kissing you again desperately. Stay.

(When Satoru wakes up the next morning to you in his arms and playing with his hair at the base of his neck, he feels like could cry. He nestles into your chest with a tired grin, “morning.”)

viii. anchor

Gojou Itsuki, that’s the name staring back at him.

Satoru loves when it’s his birthday. Until Itsuki was born it was arguably the best day in the universe. The importance of birthdays tends to titter on the rope of priorities, but it’s the one day of the year when the people important to him would pop up to say ‘hi’. Even people from the past. An old teacher he used to drive crazy but always said he thought Satoru had a lot of potential.

His mom still sent him a birthday text even if most of their exchanges are dry the rest of the year.

Even his students will tip in to get him a card and some sort of celebratory gift on December 7th.

December 7th lost a bit of its shine when you exited from his life. With you and Itsuki both in it, it shines tenfold.

It’s just the light is too blinding when Satoru takes out his last present of a plain envelope and he sees Gojou Itsuki written in bold and clear text.

Gojou Itsuki

Father: Gojou Satoru

v. sea state private ver.

"Daddy, do you love Mommy too?"

"Yeah. Daddy loves Mommy."

#look how beautiful this is #so beautifully written #so pure love poured into the 26 alphabets #reblogging my loves!

[wishing--butterfly]

The world of Attack On Titan is so tragic but yet so beautiful. Thank you Hajime Isayama for writing this beautiful story and sharing it with us. Thank you to all the people who worked so hard to let us see this breathtaking animation.

But most of all, I want to thank the characters of Attack On Titan who feels so real to us. You guys are absolute gems. Thank you for changing my life in the best way possible, you will forever be a part of me.

Goodbye and thank you for this journey, Attack on Titan! ❤

#eren yeager #attack on titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #eren jaeger

[wishing--butterfly]

進撃の巨人 / Attack on Titan ↳ anime : 2013-2023

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

[wishing--butterfly]

進撃の巨人 (2013-2023)

#will forever love aot

[wishing--butterfly]

So Attack On Titan has finally ended. In my opinion it’s one of the best pieces of fiction and definitely the best! I have been crying so much and the only thought in my mind every time whenever Eren came on screen was, “I don’t want to let you go.” 😭

Holy shit, now Eren will be on my mind for a long long time again 😭❤️

This has been a beautiful ride, people. I miss definitely miss Eren a whole lot.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #eren yeager

[wishing--butterfly]

I miss my silly lil Gojo :(

#silly liddol bubba #gojo satoru

[wishing--butterfly]

i’ve seen your fic about reader giving gojo the silent treatment and i loved it! 😭 what about making one if it was the other way around? ive seen many fics where its yn giving the silent treatment but what if you did something that made gojo mad and he’s the one who’s giving the silent treatment? tbh i’d be so sad if he was mad at me! 😭

midnight blues┆gojo satoru

୧ genre: angst, fluff ending

୧ wc: 1,700+

୧ synopsis: you never expected to receive the silent treatment from gojo, and it's one of the worst heartaches you can ever experience.

a/n: thank you so much! it really surprised me how many people ended up liking that one, and I hope you'll enjoy this one too! omg I would literally sob if I made gojo mad and will never be able to move on from the experience

Several hours have passed since Gojo departed from your home in a huff, and you wished that you had realized he was already in a sour mood dealing with the higher-ups regarding Yuuji's execution and general happenings in the Jujutsu society. He was coming home from one of those days where everything was hectic, irritable, and stressful and he wants nothing more than to return back to a serene space where he doesn't have to think about anything. At least, for a little while.

You never liked the term nagging, but after moving in together for months now you often have to remind him to be more respectful toward your shared home. "Hey honey, do you mind taking off your shoes so you don't track in even more dirt?" He had a tendency to walk around your home in his outdoor shoes and even sometimes wearing them on the bed to leave crumbs and debris all over the comforter. It's not always pleasant having to be conscious wondering if he left anything behind the next time you slip between the sheets or walk around barefoot, and it's one of his bad habits that you've been trying to fix.

Gojo's lanky body that's already plopped on the couch loosens his shoes with his feet and it drops to the floor with a soft thud. Your brows furrow in discontentment and your coarse tone makes his face twitch, and even though he's not able to see your body language with his arm thrown over his eyes he can sense that you're crossing your arms at him. "Seriously, Satoru? You know that wasn't what I meant."

His teeth clench and grit together in silent annoyance, and his fingers pinch the bridge of his nose together before his hands gesture loudly in the air as you're going on your spiel about shoe etiquette. "Fuck Y/N- can I have one minute of quiet in my own home and not have you nagging my ear off." He sighs exasperatedly, the patience he had was already running thin and he didn't have the energy to deal with your complaints either.

"W-what? I just told you to pick up after yourself, why are you getting irrationally angry at me?" You bite the inside of your cheek because he never cursed at you before, even if he didn't truly mean his words you're unable to dismiss it and a stinging pain spreads across your chest. It feels like hard lumps of ice are being formed in your throat and you hate everything about this because you weren't trying to argue with him.

"Now you're just being so fucking annoying... I'd ask you to piss off but you can't even leave the room fast enough." He straightens himself from the couch and bends over to grab the shoes that you're so bothered by and heads for the front door. He doesn't even spare you a glance because the last thing he needed was for someone to criticize him over something so insignificant when he has more important things to worry about. You couldn't even sputter out another remark before he abruptly tells you, "I'm heading out. Don't wait up for me."

After he slams the door shut and leaves you alone in the deafening silence, you couldn't even properly process what just happened 一 was that really the Gojo Satoru you knew and loved? You never imagined him saying something like that in all the years you've known him. You wished you could've taken back your words instead of opening your stupid mouth about your dumb, little pet peeves when you should've noticed that your boyfriend was coping with the presumably dreadful day he's had.

The bitter and cruel world was always fighting against him one way or another and you feel terrible that you weren't there to support him. You should've quietly taken his shoes off and kissed his forehead to remind him that you're there for him, and you were a little too late to know that now. Even you sometimes forget that the great Gojo Satoru can have his bad days too, and one seemingly small and tiny inconvenience atop of everything else can cause him to lose his cool as a result.

Gojo arrives back home just after the stroke of midnight and pushes past through the threshold expecting to be greeted with darkness, but there's a light in the kitchen as you're adding the finishing touches of the icing on the strawberry lunchbox cake to make it up to him. It's minimalistic and single-serving friendly enough that you wouldn't have to worry about having too much leftover dessert while satisfying your favorite shaman's sweet tooth. But most importantly, you hope that he'll accept it as a heartfelt form of apology.

You're unaware of how long he's been standing there watching you earnestly until you glance up and meet his visage. The corners of your mouth quirk upward into a smile that seems a little forced, yet honest in the way that you're relieved to see that he returned home. "W-welcome home, Satoru. I should've asked how your day was before I bugged you about something so silly. You might've had quite a long day or maybe something happened so I wanted to surprise you by baking your favorite cake. It's not much, but it's the least I could do."

The silence weighs heavily in the air. You're growing anxious each passing second he doesn't respond and your stomach starts to churn while your palms sweat under his gaze. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears and then comes the snapping of the strings as he takes one step away and another going towards your shared bedroom. You never felt so crestfallen and defeated as you're standing there rigid with his broad back facing toward you.

"Ohh.. Okay I'll just, um, save this for you tomorrow."

Not a moment later and you can hear the shower running, and you can't help but think to yourself... what if he hates you now? You attempt to choke back the tears welling up and failing miserably as a droplet cascades down your cheek. The feeling of your ribcage caving into itself while your heart sinks slowly doesn't completely go away as you try to convince yourself that it's just another rough patch in your relationship and you'll both eventually move past this.

Nearly an hour goes by until you're finished cleaning up, and you spent most of that time trying to understand what's going through Gojo's mind and if you should reside on the couch for tonight so you wouldn't upset him further. You're more than positive that he's fast asleep on his side of the mattress as you retrieve a spare pillow and blanket from the linen closet to prepare your make-shift bed on the couch. You considered peering inside and checking up on your boyfriend, but you didn't want to risk waking him had the hinges on the door squeaked unfavorably.

Time seems to move slower once you're comfortably situated flat on your back and staring at the ceiling because you seem to be having troubled sleep. You've been tossing and turning for every time you check your phone for no particular reason, and you've never been much of an insomniac either. For some reason, it feels almost wrong that Gojo and you are sleeping in separate rooms when he's not somewhere overseas for an assigned exorcism of special grade curses.

Your drowsy eyes kept fluttering open and closed for some time now, and you were just barely able to catch an ounce of sleep before you feel a weight dip beside you and strong, familiar arms wrap around your middle. Gojo carefully closes the gap between you and him without causing too much movement and he appreciates your taste in furniture as you chose a couch that's spacious enough to fit the both of you. "Hmm, Satoru? What are you- I thought you wanted to be alone?" You whisper softly after registering his warm touch on your skin, and you shift your position so that you're now facing him.

His cerulean hues bore into you before he gently shakes his head, and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck inhaling your peach blossom scent. "I never heard you come in." He confesses, busying himself as his fingertips fiddle with your top and then drawing small circles on your hip after slipping his hand just a shy underneath it. "Did I mess things up between us? I shouldn't have taken it out on you back there... it's those old fuckers that got to me. Forgive me, angel? I promise I'll be better next time, so please? I don't wanna lose you... You're everything to me. I love you so much, you have no idea."

"Will you look at me, baby? You won't lose me over something like this." Your fingers thread through his silver tendrils and Gojo does as he's told. Baby, he already feels warm just from that term of endearment alone. Staring into the blues of his eyes felt like warm healing rain falling down onto your heart, and you can tell it has the same effect on him as he's sharing your fond gaze. All that constant overthinking and worrying dissipates once the misunderstandings have been resolved and you feel the weight of a thousand bricks on your chest being lifted.

"There's honestly nothing to be sorry about, I can understand why you reacted that way. You're human and can only take so much so don't be too hard on yourself." You tenderly cup his cheek and he eases into the warmth of your palm, a thumb sweeps across his cheekbone and he breathes a content sigh. "I didn't notice sooner that you weren't being yourself and I should've been there for you when you needed me, so I am sorry for that. I love you so much too, I'm willing to put this behind us if you are."

"Yeah, sounds good." He murmurs as his eyelids begin to grow heavy, a soft simper making its way to his face and he presses a gentle kiss against your lips. You speculate that he wasn't able to fall asleep this entire time either without holding each other like this with legs touching or intertwined, and you're reminded of how good you two have it with the unconditional and boundless love reserved for one another at the end of each day. "As they usually say, let bygones be bygones."

#i will come back to this for a long time

[wishing--butterfly]

god i miss this silly little man so fucking much 😩 please bring him back

#he makes everything so worth it #its impossible to not love gojo satoru #gojo satoru

[wishing--butterfly]

the summer moon was born from the waves to be loved (gojo x reader)

or, you got pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

tags: afab!reader (she/her), mentions of pregnancy, sometimes self-care is writing a fic with a messy premise, unbeta’d i’ll go back and fix things i just want this out of my drafts

AO3

o. ghost

This felt like something out of a bad movie.

One of those “yeah, that’s me. The one looking like she just she just shit herself because the ghost of Christmas past just showed up” kinds of movies. The ghost of Christmas past whom you haven’t seen in the last five years.

The ghost of Christmas past that your daughter looks at curiously, wondering who put you in such a stupor as she asks sweetly, “who’s he, Mommy?”

The ghost of Christmas past whose face is unreadable as he looks at Itsuki before he settles his gaze on you. “Yeah, [First],” the ghost asks. “Who am I?”

Where did I go wrong?

A rhetorical question. 

A lot in life has to go wrong for a man you thought you left in your memories to show up at your doorstep but you can pinpoint the exact moment in time in which you screwed up. It’s all because you sat next to Ieiri Shoko in your mandatory calculus class. If it weren’t for that, none of this would be happening.

No, that isn’t it. Your gaze turns to Itsuki, who looks back at you with familiar light blue eyes and white hair. She may have gotten the Gojou Satoru eye and hair colors, but her hair texture and skin tone both pointed to you. If I sat anywhere else she wouldn’t be here. And even if you knew that sitting next to Shoko meant meeting the world’s most aggravating man you could have fallen for, you feel like you would have taken that path once again.

No, sitting next to Shoko wasn’t where you messed up all those years agoー it was telling her you were pregnant in the first place.

Keep reading

#precious love #this is so beautiful tbh I CANNOT WAIT FOR PART 2 #reblogging my loves!

[wishing--butterfly]

Why can I imagine Satoru hitting the couch repeatedly when he accidentally hits his pinky toe on the edge. The image feels too hilarious in my head. Just imagine a tall ass guy just muttering under his breath as he hits the couch angrily, repeatedly. And you just stand there, confused asf

#gojo satoru #daydreaming about satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader

[wishing--butterfly]

Satoru is the type of boyfriend that when he sees you laying down on your stomach on your bed, scrolling through your phone aimlessly, he would noisily plop down on the bed and rest his head on the arch of your back. And also take turns to rest his head on your bum just to irritate you.

#just random thoughts yet again #daydreaming about satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #don't mind me this is just me wanting satoru for the nth time in my life

[wishing--butterfly]

Indulgence Collections 🪷: Touch

Satoru has been sporting his hair longer than usual. He's been so busy he never got the time to drop off his barber shop and get his trim.

"What'cha doing pretty?" Satoru hums from the bathroom sink while he shaved his day-old stubbles, keeping his face flawless. He's wearing a cotton short while unbothered going topless displaying his well-defined muscles.

"Nothing much wanna try something after you're done." You held a small bag and plopped down the couch of your bedroom to wait for your beau.

You heard the running water and him rummaging through the cabinets. He finally emerged from the bathroom with a black shirt on that hangs loosely on his body but didn't hide his damn enticing collarbone.

"What did you wanna do?" Satoru climbs onto the bed but you stop him and you open the bag.

"I got you~ this! ta-dah!" You excitedly presented him with a razor you found while strolling around the shopping district.

Satoru took a few human seconds to understand the meaning behind your words.

"Oh?" A wide grin appears on his lips and takes the razor from your hands. "Are you gonna be my personal barber now?"

You shrug and go to the bathroom to spread out some newspaper on the floor and a chair from your dresser for him to sit on.

"You've been complaining about your hair lately, but you don't go to your barber anyway. So you'll have to make do with me."

Satoru leaned on the doorframe and chuckled as you prepared your make-do salon in the bathroom. True, his nape has been itchy with the amount of thick hair brushing his skin when he removes his blindfold. He doesn't know where you got the guts to try this stuff with him moreover he knows you've never done this before. But he didn't stop you when you pulled him to sit on the stool and put a towel around him.

"Woah, woah, don't start with the razor, Baby." Satoru held your wrist and gave you the scissors you got with the razor. "You have to section my hair first. Like this..." He shows you where his undercut starts. "You cut it like, vertically, okay?"

"O-Okay." You nodded and remembered how his barber did it when you went together to get his haircut. "Like this, right? Is it too short?"

Satoru watches your eyes so focused on his hair that it's too cute to look away from the mirror. 

"Cut a little longer... Yeah just like that." Satoru chuckled when you almost cut a thick chunk of his hair and your face went pale. "Awww, you have no reward if I come out bald, Baby."

"Shut up, I'm trying my best here." You huffed and finally finished trimming down his hair. "It looks good?" You look in the mirror and can't help but laugh at how he looks like the teenager he was in 2006 it's just that his jaws are now more pronounced and a screaming masculinity exudes from his large build.

"Mnnn, go get the razor Baby, you do it like this..." Satoru shows you how to shade his side cut and gives you the razor. You look so obedient as he teaches you how to do it that he can't help but pinch your nose making you yelp.

"I should just follow the hairline, right?"

"Kind of, you start here then curve it here." Satoru directs your hands while you mimic his hand gestures before nodding. "Scared?"

You shook your head and held the razor. Slowly you shaved the excess hair from his hairline, the artic locks were soft against your hand as they fell down leaving a clean line on his nape. It feels ticklish as you shave the back of his neck making that undercut you love so much more defined now. There's just something about Satoru's undercut that makes it so irresistible to your touch. A few more runs of the razor and you're finished. Brushing off the hair from his neck you stared at his clean undercut intently.

Satoru looked at the mirror and whistled.

"At this rate, I'm never going to my barber again." Satoru ran his finger through his hair, feeling it a lot lighter as he ruffled it to a mess.

Without warning he swept you off your feet and threw you over his shoulder, trudging our of the bathroom to the bedroom.

"Satoru!"

He throws you on the bed and climbs over you, peppering you with ticklish kisses all over your face while you try to shield yourself from the onslaught. Instinctively your hands wrap around his neck making contact with his fresh undercut, tickling your palm. Satoru groaned in pleasure when you ran your fingers up to his neck and down to his spine.

"That feels so good, Baby." He purred, drowning you in his weight with his face pressed between your chest. "Do it again, pleaseee~" He mumbled and wrapped an arm around your waist. "My head feels so light."

He didn't have to tell you twice as you ran your hand over and over until his breathing gradually slowed down.

"Y'know... 'm glad you cut my hair." Satoru opened one eye and looked up at you.

"Why?" You hummed and kissed the tip of his nose making Satoru purr.

 "I feel safe when it's you holding my head."

Your eyes softened and nodded. You understand how vulnerable he is regarding his neck up to his head.

"Don't worry that pretty little head of yours and sleep. We got the whole day for ourselves."

Satoru smiles and nuzzles his face even deeper into the valley of your chest and sighs in relief as your fingers thread through his hair, lulling him to a peaceful slumber. The sweet gentle way you tug on the roots of his hair and the scrape of your fingernails against his scalp is the kind of friction his body longs to feel all the time.

"Never let me go, Baby, please..." He murmured between his dreams and your touch.

[@lexiene] happiest birthday dearrrr sunshine~🪷 I hope you like this small gift I prepared~✨🫶🏻

General Taglist: @ice-icebaby  @aeanya @tender-rosiey @lexiene @nevermoresworld @loml-riri @pelicanpizza @emichou-chan

—Grey,

#erm excuse me #so where can i get a satoru #and just protect him from the world? #gojo satoru is love #reblogging my loves!

[wishing--butterfly]

TWs: mentions of death, blood, injuries, crying, hyperventilating, angst, no comfort

Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

What if Satoru is the one who loses you?

Okay, I know it’s imperative to know and consider that whether you’re Satoru’s lover or not, even as a friend or a stranger, he would never let you or others take his fight.

But just imagine if you were the one who fought Sukuna after coming across him by accident. And he injures you or ends you very brutally; imagine Satoru witnessing that? On top of that, imagine that you are someone who he genuinely has romantic feelings for and you are someone who he holds close but not too close so that people don’t use you for their advantage. But believe me, he has wanted you for so long. He has dreamed of wanting to make you his the moment your eyes met.

That type of connection, I believe, is a connection so fragile it’s like you’re walking on glass but you would always enjoy each other’s presence, always smile a little wider when shoulders touch and shiver when your knuckles brush against each other.

Satoru Gojo cannot stand the thought of losing you. So the moment he sees you fall, he’s not him anymore.

He’s filled so much rage, so much hatred for this world, so much anger because why did it decide to take you away from him? His blue irises bleed red and he thinks his heart has already been shattered, broken beyond repair because the moment he’s done with Sukuna, his world turns even more red. He starts killing and exorcising the curses in the most brutal way written in history.

His comrades watch as the Satoru Gojo goes on a killing spree. A maniacal laugh escaping when he twisted a curse a little more painfully than eliminating it quickly. The suffering of those felt nice, calming to him.

Yuuji wants to go near him but Shoko stops the former, “Leave him alone for now…. He’s not exactly himself.”

Satoru doesn’t let anything come near you, protecting what remains of you.

When everything is over, the tiredness struck him like lightening. He wasn’t able to catch his breath. And the moment he saw your unconscious body lying on the ground, not moving, not smiling at him, he started hyperventilating. Satoru looses his footing and falls to his knees. His legs were weak, too weak to stand up so he desperately crawls towards you.

The others slowly walked to the scene, heart breaking at the strongest falling down his throne.

Satoru, ever so gently, pulls your body towards him, resting your head on his lap. His eyes scanned your face. You have always been so beautiful, so unrealistic to him in this world. Such a beautiful soul. So pure and so loveable. How could the universe be so cruel to him?

You’re blurry to him now, his shoulders sag in defeat as his forehead meets yours.

Satoru Gojo was crying.

He was sobbing, so painfully that his friends felt the skies cry with them.

“Don’t go, please…” He begs, to God knows who but he prayed, so desperately prayed that whoever heard him could grant him this wish, “Please don’t take her away from me… I love you so much.

“I haven’t even made you mine…”

#this just randomly popped in my head today #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jujusu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru angst #99 percent chance that i might delete this later because this is depressing 🥲

[wishing--butterfly]

Instead of him grabbing your chin and leaning down to kiss you, imagine Satoru sitting down on a bench, randomly blabbering whatever until you, who’s standing, leans down towards him, grab his chin with your index and make him look into your eyes. He cuts off mid sentence so suddenly that all thoughts evaporate and all he can see is you and your ever beautiful eyes. Your irises trail down his nose then his lips which evidently makes him gulp. But instead of kissing him, your lips brush against his in a feather-like touch. When you pull away, a whine is stuck in his throat as his hands immediately find your nape to chase your lips, immediately locking your lips in a searing kiss as a soft ‘mm’ escapes his mouth.

The others audibly groan and have to look away because Satoru is insatiable.

#daydreaming about satoru gojo #how can you not love him #lets all heal together 🥲 #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader

[wishing--butterfly]

gojo is definitely the boyfriend who you think is fast asleep so you finally stop scratching his back and then as soon as you do his head is popping up to look at you like you got some audacity to stop

#this is satoru in all his glory #i love him so much oh my god why is satoru not real

[wishing--butterfly]

Oh god. Gojo laughs when you kiss, doesn't he? You feel the curve of a smile on his lips when they're pressed up against your own, don't you? And it's a throaty laugh, a self-satisfied one that tells you he's enjoying himself and he knows you are too

#this is so precious #Gojo satoru #oh how much i love satoru

[wishing--butterfly]

PILLOW FIGHT, gojo satoru

when gojo prepares to sacrifice himself for world peace ( you're ignoring him and he won't let you have peace )

+ extra: wrote this to distract myself from the current state of affairs ( sukuna vs gojo got me stressed )

gojo knows he's being childish. stacking two pillows in the middle of the bed as the aftermath of a previous argument. nothing about it bordered serious — in fact, it was nothing short of petty. when it soon dawned on him that you're not going to budge, he decided it'll be best to divide himself from you.

the problem? he's like a pesky mosquito who can't leave its marked person alone. gojo can leave but he won't. earlier amidst the argument you locked him out of the room and he felt himself teetering over the edge. he couldn't believe it. stunned, he left you to isolate yourself, deciding that the only way to counter you is to do the same — isolation.

it did not work.

you barely cared, he itched to end the silent treatment game. the day went along like that; you ignoring gojo and gojo purposefully using his outside voice whenever you were on a call. one way or another you'll have to acknowledge him — even if it meant sacrificing his own pillow. one man's sacrifice is another man's gift. unfortunately gojo's found himself as the man who isn't receiving any gifts.

"can you move these damn pillows?" annoyed, you pushed the top pillow onto him.

jackpot! he celebrated, smiling like an idiot when you broke the silence. holding the pillow above, he replaced it back to its original position: atop the other one.

a heavy sigh escapes from you. gojo can practically envision the eye roll you gave him. soon enough you'll be annoyed into removing both pillows and that's where he'll begin the plan.

you sighed again, moving your hand to pinch your nose's bridge, "gojo, just move it... please."

eh, good enough. you didn't move the pillows, but you did ask nicely.

"'kay," with just two clean moves, the pillows found a new home on the floor and you're back in gojo's view.

he turns his head to you, watching how you were quick to turn on your right; the side where he won't be able to see your face. he'll take whatever though — it's not like he doesn't have your every feature embedded into his brain.

"what would you do if i hugged you?" gojo asked, already propping his upper body on his elbow.

"do not," you sternly replied.

"i'm gonna do it," being true to his word, gojo rolls over to you, throwing one leg and a hand on you. he smiles like a fool in love knowing you won't push him off.

"you're so annoying, gojo."

"and you love me for it," snuggling his head into the crook of your neck, he breathes in, finishing the romantic act by biting you.

"ouch — GOJO."

#reblogging my loves! #let me heal #well I'm still safe in my lover's arms #what spoilers are you talking about #huhhhh he's fine satoru is totally fine see him being his usual mosquito self qt