ttamkooz

[ttamkooz]

the apologist’s corner: confusion or delusion?

1 corinthians 14:33

for god is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

---

genesis 11:7-9

go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. so the lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. therefore is the name of it called babel; because the lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

---

if you’ve been in church for any length of time i’d bet you’ve actually heard both of these scriptures before. if you’ve been in church for any length of time i’d bet that you’ve never connected the dots between these two scriptures before. in all my years in the church i cannot remember this being addressed so i’d like to hear what you think. obviously i’ve taken one or both out of context but i’d really appreciate it if you could explain how or what the context actually is,

#atheism #confusion #context #scripture

[ttamkooz]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK7P7uZFf5o)

[ttamkooz]

lets talk about love

have you ever tried to list all the people you love or put it on screen? 

go ahead and try, i’ll wait...(🎼 elevator music 🎼)

if you’re like me you’ll notice that your brain creates a bit of a hierarchy to it. i eventually landed on 3 basic tiers. in the event that you’re curious, i’ll be transparent here; there are only 3 people in tier #1 and they are my wife and kids. everyone else i ‘love’ is in tier #2. however some will get a space closer to the elevator than others if you feel me. tier #3′ers, well, ya, this is a bit awkward. what do the kids say these days? ‘sorry, not sorry.’ that’s such a stupid phrase but you get the idea.

now i would venture to guess that your list isn’t all that different than mine, but what i find interesting is how we come to think of each person and the things we use to place them in our own love rankings. i’ve got levels within my own tier theory and then i broke it down to one question, ‘could i trade my existence for theirs?’ the answer is how i defined the parameters for the tiers.

my wife is amazing in so many ways, and to act so that she may continue living for our children is a no-brainer. and my kids, fugget about it. too easy right?

what about everyone else? if i give my life for them it means my wife loses her husband and my kids lose their daddy. and selfishly, i don’t get to grow old with my wife and i would miss out on my kids growing up. 

this is where tier #2 comes in. people i love and many of them dearly. each person is someone important and integral in me becoming who i am today. they no longer get my life for theirs but they could still get a kidney or liver or i might even help them move. i’d still call that love anyway, it’s just not you know, ‘take a bullet love’.

so how about the people who didn’t make the cut and ended up in tier #3? 

these are the people i’d call acquaintances and the few people who when their name is mentioned i think ‘ugh, they are the worst’. people that if i saw them today i’d probably just walk on by without so much as a hello. now, there isn’t anyone in my life that i actively hate, mostly because i’ve been fortunate to not have many of those type of experiences with people and also because i believe it to be a huge waste of energy. maybe you think that’s terrible or whatever to think that of people but i’m just being honest. now, i am all to aware that there are probably people from my past who think of me as ‘ugh, he is the worst’, and i can accept that because i know i’ve made mistakes and hurt people. i’ve tried to mend a few of those bridges but who really knows. we are all (hopefully) trying the best we can to make the people and world around us better but we’re not perfect and we need to let each other (ourselves) make those mistakes with a little bit of understanding.

so you’ve got those who are just ‘the worst’, and the rest are acquaintances.

and for all these people in tier #3, if it was in my power and there was a literal lake of fire they were going to burn and be tortured forever i wouldn’t allow it. call me crazy but even those that didn’t make my little list, don’t deserve to burn for eternity.

psalm 100:3 esv

know that the lord, he is god! it is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

god claims over and over to be our creator, our father and claims that he is love, yet he is willing to ‘let’ people suffer hell for eternity.

seriously?

most of us wouldn’t let our ‘enemies’ go through that, let alone people we claim to love.

is it just me or is that messed up?

i originally ended this post above but can’t seem to shake this question:

how does god get away with this?

my desire in this post was to have you thinking about the people in your life, from your loved ones to your ‘tier #3′ people and then at the end throw in the curve of god’s claim of love and our own ability or inability to sentence someone to a never-ending afterlife filled with torture and burning. 

and for the christian, here’s the truth of it: it’s not just your ‘enemies’ that god is going to burn, but more than likely you care for someone (tier #1 & #2 people) who is not ‘saved’ or may even have a different faith than you, and according to your bible god is not giving any free passes just because you love them. 

if you do have someone you love who doesn’t possess whatever brand of salvation you subscribe to; i’d ask that you think about them right now. 

picture their face.

remember the times you laughed together.

remember the experiences good and tough alike.

think about all the things that make them someone you care about.

now just imagine that they never accept your idea of salvation.

you’re standing side by side at the pearly gates of heaven and god just shakes his head and says, ‘nope’ and throws up ✌🏾.

burning in a lake of eternal fire.

demons torturing them every second of every day.

you’re chillin on a cloud in heaven just praisin ole’ j.c. for a couple millenniums and look down...yup, still burning...

#atheism #hell #love #god

[ttamkooz]

storytime: elisha and the two bears

once upon a time there was a prophet named elisha.

one bright sunny day elisha was traveling along the road minding his own damn business when a gang of hooligans jumped him and beat him within an inch of his life and took his wallet, phone and brand new macbook. 

the nasty hooligans left him for dead as they scurried away on their hover-boards to see if they could sell elishas stuff on ebay.

and god loved elisha and took pity on the holy man and set forth his wrath upon the little jerks by alerting the authorities and having them all sent to juvi. 

god healed elisha and being the holy man that he was he visited all kids in juvenile hall and prayed with them and even played games with them during their free time.

when the time came for the kids to be released elisha was there and helped them find jobs and even took a few under his wing and...

oh wait...just kidding..............

2 kings 2:23-25 contemporary english version

elisha left and headed toward bethel. along the way some boys started making fun of him by shouting, “go away, baldy! get out of here!”

elisha turned around and stared at the boys. then he cursed them in the name of the lord. right away two bears ran out of the woods and ripped to pieces forty-two of the boys.

elisha went up to mount carmel, then returned to samaria.

---

maybe it’s just me but i don’t remember anybody reading me this story in sunday school. 

#bible #sundayschool #baldy #hooligans #bears #atheism

[ttamkooz]

there’s only one problem

religion really walks a tightrope when it comes to the bible.

it has to get you to read and believe it while at the same time keep you from thinking too much about what believing it means in light of everyone else on the planet.

you see it everyday (mostly on social media) where people are quoting these ‘amazing’ verses about god’s love or his protection and of course blessings.

these posts are soon to be followed with rousing cheers, amens, ‘likes’ and ‘loves’. so that’s great for you, but there’s only one problem... what about the rest of us? 

oh, your god healed you? what about the people that die everyday from gang violence?

and then he got you a newer car!?! and somehow he missed the 34 millionish kids suffering from severe malnutrition? weird.

he kept you safe when you got into that car accident? and still we see innocent people suffer oppression, wars, disease, famine, natural disasters, abuse and the list goes on and on. 

behind each ‘answered’ prayer is a calamity or tragedy that god either ignored or wasn’t even aware of.

how did i boast the awesomeness of god when so many suffer without so much as a hint of hope from my ‘loving’ god.

me: thanks god for the great music at church this morning. hey did you get a chance to help those people in connecticut whose child is about to die from cancer? 

god: no, im sorry i didn’t but i did have time to inspire the pastor to give a speech that really made you feel good inside today. that was really cool, right?

me: ya it was! i love having people say great things about me and help me feel important. i mean, sure it sucks that the kid ended up dying but hey i feel so good i could go down to the hospital right now and pray for everyone and then you could heal all of them instead! surely after that rousing speech this morning i’ve got the faith of a mustard seed! ya, that’d be awesome right!?

god: ummm...ya...don’t do that.

me: ok. wanna go to starbucks instead?

bottom line is this:

if the bible is the absolute truth and divinely inspired, no matter what that means to you, then you need to believe all of it, all of the time. you need to own it and stop picking out the pretty uplifting verses and think about what the rest of the book is saying.

this is basically what i said to myself a few years ago and why i am now an atheist.

(check out more comics from the atheist pig)

#god #ignored #therestofus #faith #context #theatheistpig #atheism

[ttamkooz]

the apologist’s corner: gods’ punishment

i recall this topic surfacing a handful of times throughout my life in religion and looking back now, it was like a glitch in the matrix. i saw it and it felt like something had just happened but there was no morpheus to tell me what it meant.

who gets punished for the sin?

scenario a...

exodus 20:5 i the lord thy god am a jealous god, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

scenario b...

ezekiel 18:20 the son shall not bear the iniquity of the father.

...so i ask thee oh wise apologists, ‘is it gonna be the blue pill, or the red one.’

if i had to choose i’d say that good ole’ jehovah leans more towards the generational policy. i only say that because i’ve been told my entire life that i was born a sinner because a couple thousand years ago some dufus and his wife ate some fruit they weren’t supposed to because a smooth talking snake tricked them.

so agree or disagree, i’d like to hear how you explain the coexistence of these two verses in a ‘perfect’ book.

#atheism #god #snake #iniquity #sin #bible #contradiction #generation #punishment

[ttamkooz]

start 'em young

some of my earliest memories in church are of sunday school and vacation bible school. it was here i was introduced to god through impossible tales of miracles and proclamations of grandeur. 

-god created the whole planet and everything in it out of nothing in 6, 24 hour days. 

-a man named noah, his family, and every species survived a worldwide flood in an enormous boat that they built. 

-another man named moses freed Gods people from slavery through incredible plagues ending in the splitting of the red sea. 

-and most importantly the god/man named jesus was born of a virgin and performed many miracles. he died a gruesome death on a cross to save me from my sinful ways so that after i died i would be in eternity forever with him and my mansion along the streets of gold.

these stories were told using felt boards and coloring pages served up with a tasty snack and juice-box. as well as i can recall they were presented as undeniable fact. not something to be debated or a parable with which to extract a life truth. 

all these things literally happened.

i was the type of child who tried very hard to be good. i listened to and respected my teachers and did not question authority. i wanted to have the right answers and receive the proverbial pat on the head for doing so. i thrived in this kind of environment. 

i was one child among many others who were told over and over in various ways about this god of power and love. we were programmed to believe that there was a supernatural force that demanded we adhere to a specific way of life so that we would not just get into heaven but avoid the lake of fire for all eternity. 

we sang songs and heard messages week after week that reinforced these concepts. i was bad. he was good. i needed salvation. he was ready to save. the devil was after me but he would protect me. jesus was all i needed. now back then it was the lens through which i viewed everything. if i was in trouble id repent of anything i could think of that could possibly be construed as sin and pleaded with this invisible god to get me out of it. when i really, really, REALLY (2 “really’s” isnt enough as a kid) wanted something i would be sure to be on my best behavior and ask over and over for a blessing. you see these stories painted a picture of god in my head. it was not necessarily reality but it was what they wanted me to see. i only say its what they wanted me to see because the story or the definition of god was expanded as i got older. 

i believe that our deepest desire is salvation from uncertainty and in my childhood god was given to soothe those concerns. whatever the darkness of the past, present or future, god was there to shed light and prove that all was well. i also believe that the people in my life that taught me these things were doing so with the best of intentions. they simply passed on what they believed to be true. as christians we were called to make converts. take the stories (the ‘good’ ones anyway) from this book and get others to believe the same way you do. it was all in the name of saving their soul but in my opinion it was about calming our own self doubt. the more people believe as we do the more confident we become in those same beliefs. partnering with the majority brings about confidence but it cannot guarantee rightness.

as i look back now i shake my head in disbelief. how does this happen? how could i lock out all reason and receive these stories as absolutes? but the truth is, everyone struggles with the same fears.

did i make the right choice?

am i making the right choice?

will i make the right choice?

i believe many of us dont know how to deal with choice. ‘freedom’ for many is the most terrifying thing imaginable. and in my opinion i was brought up in such a way that removed having to deal with choice almost completely.

this is the source of power for all religions. 

there is only 1 choice. (there is no spoon.) 

 i only had to make 1 choice. and if i chose correctly then all would be well. and when things werent going good, eventually they would become good. keep making the 1 choice and eventually, even if it took dying, all would be good. 

so this 1 choice; this decision that holds all of my happiness within its gates becomes the most important thing in my life. 

and now we pray, and we sing, and we give our time and money in order to maintain and solidify our 1 choice. and we now remember the stories told to us since we were little kids. 

will i be like moses or suffer plagues and terror like pharaoh? 

will i choose as noah did or die like everyone else in the world? 

will i believe in jesus or end up in hell to burn and be tortured for eternity? 

these dont seem to give much room for choice, if you actually believe they are true. the choice however it is presented is this, choose god or die. 

god killed many egyptians including all their first born (you know, to teach pharaoh a lesson). #wtf

god killed everyone and everything in the world except a few. (the original cntrl alt delete)

god continues to ‘send’/’let’ people to hell every second of everyday.

i’m 5 years old... 

what would you have done?

#atheism #church #bible #indoctrination #hell #choice #freedom #religion

[ttamkooz]

Help me understand this , for what reason does Matt exist?

Well I suppose I’d ask how you’ve come to the conclusion that we need a reason to exist? 

I can guess where you’re coming from, but I’d have to say my reason is what I choose it to be and that is for my wife, kids and family and friends.

To enjoy this life for as long as it lasts and to leave it in a better condition than it is now for those who live on.

#atheism #questions #life #existence

[ttamkooz]

god made me an atheist

ive gone round and round in my brain for years now on how to start expressing my journey and where i am today.

there have been many drafts that have since been tossed in the trash, each leaving me unsatisfied. always back to the drawing board; over and over again. i even wrote a piece and showed it to a few people just to mentally push through but, alas i still wasnt happy with it. 

so i let it go. we had some family stuff sneak to the forefront of life and so i gladly put that damn thing on the back-burner. 

but as the great ‘smee’ from the movie ‘hook’ once said, ‘lightning has struck my brain!’ and so now i know and now we will begin...

prologue:

to any and all of my family and friends who read this i want to say that i am still the matt you have known before, just minus the belief in a deity. i actually hesitated for the longest while to use the term atheist because of what it typically conveys to those in the christian community and i did not want you to think of me like that. so please believe me when i say that i am still the goofy, bald, loving and sometimes too pudgy guy youve always known. i wont mock you because you still believe and im not out to convince or convert you. this is just my story and i will share so i can be free in my own mind and hopefully regain a sense of honesty within myself.

my story:

most of you who read this will know me and my background but for anyone who doesnt, here are the cliffs notes...

-born and raised in a pentecostal christian household. went to church every time the doors were open.

-i ‘walked away’ from god and rebelled in my teens. eventually, i got re-saved and ended up working part-time & full time in the church in multiple capacities for 8-9 years off and on.

there were actually two events that i now look back and see were crucial in my departure from faith.

event #1

so one day im in my office at the church when a member comes in balling and talking about the problem they are experiencing in their marriage. as i sat and merely listened to the horrific story and watched the excruciating pain they were feeling at that very moment i had an awful epiphany; i thought to myself, “what can i possibly say here?” the list of scriptures usually accessed by my brain in these types of situations was now being rejected by my conscience. every single one, now all of a sudden were not good enough. they just seemed....false.

event #2

at the ripe ole’ age of 32 i became a dad. it was and continues to be my favorite role in life (sorry honey-im sure you’d say the same 8!). but as amazing as it was it unknowingly caused me to read the bible through the eyes of a father and this turned out to paint quite a disturbing picture of yahweh. i honestly couldn’t believe that i was never able to see it this way before. i mean im not talking about the many obscure stories that only atheists and apologists read, i am talking about the big ones baby. what in the world happened to my brain that i was able to read and hear these stories for almost 30 years and see anything but horror show that it is? 

so as i set out on a journey to read my bible. i read with a new set of eyes. stories that once conveyed hope, faith and victory now portrayed very, very different things. now not only did i read the bible, but i read everything i could get my hands on. books and blogs by bible scholars, pastors and apologists but nothing was reading like it was supposed to. 

a few years of this along with many hours of discussion with 2 trusted friends. one a pastor and the other a fellow christian in deconstruction. these were simply a safe place to voice new found emotions, ideas, frustrations and whatever else happened to be brewing inside my soul on that particular day. 

if asked, both these guys could attest to the fact that i tried to rebuild more than once, but at one point or another it would all be wrong and id have to knock it down, assess and try to put it back together again. 

and then, one very seemingly ordinary night i came home from one of these discussions. everyone in the house was asleep and it was dark and quiet. as i stood in my kitchen getting a drink of water it occurred to me; i no longer believe and that was it. 

there would be no more deconstruction.

there would be no more rebuilding.

it was a thought slash feeling from deep down that told me it was over. and i felt a very real sense of loss. the kind of loss like a loved one had passed away. i felt my brain scrambling for an argument, but there was nothing. 

nothing but the loss.

i wasnt swayed by a bunch of scientific facts or a speech by dawkins or hitchens. i read the bible and now i am an atheist.

and i will say that a few years past that moment of realization, i am happier and more at peace than i ever have before in my life.

prologue:

this has obviously been a streamlined version of what occurred over something like 5 years. it is my goal to just put it out there for me and whatever happens, happens. 

i imagine i will get a little bit of every kind of response with news like this and im at a place in my life that i am fine with it. i cant remember my life being any better than it is right now. my wife and my kids are amazing, my family is bigger than ever and remains strong, and my confidence in being who i am has probably never been higher. 

i dont know when or even if i will post again (probably pretty randomly) but i will respond to those who write back to me on this post.

thanks for reading and may the force be with you!

#atheism #god #peace #realization #conversion

[ttamkooz]

from the other side

in the beginning, there was church.  

and church was mandatory. there were pews and old people. 

and mother said that it was good.  

there was sunday school, wednesday night youth and prayer meetings. 

and the preacher said it was God.

in the beginning it was all i knew and it kept me safe for many years...

until it didn’t.

today is quite a different reality for me.

my name is matt. im 37 years old with a beautiful wife, two amazing little tikes and have an all around wonderful life...

and i no longer believe in God.