toastwithsalmon

[toastwithsalmon]

canteloupe

canteloupe

#canteloupe

[toastwithsalmon]

remember this guy?

this is him now-

feel old yet?

#BAHAHAHA #harry #yo gabba gabba #feel old yet? #comedy gold #this is why i have no friends #mf grew an entire eyeball #dhmis

[toastwithsalmon]

man bro I just want to have a pack of enby friends who are willing to drink copious amounts of battery water while we discuss insane theories on lizard men. I just want them to play Minecraft with me and go out with me into public hissing at people while we scamper around. bro man dudeski is that so hard to ask?

#bro #enby #non biney #non binary #battery water #minecraft #dudeski #DUdeski

[toastwithsalmon]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaaAaAAaAaaAaAAaAaAAaAAaAAaAaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#AAAAA

[toastwithsalmon]

I just ate an entire mango the way i would an apple, and at this point i am ready to confess all my heinous sins right into gods ears because fear has not yet managed to scathe me

#im mentally ill #idk #mangoes #ooh the mango was yummy though #god #he can come fight me rn

[toastwithsalmon]

"hi! my name is joe cummingham but you can just call me THE CUM <3"

i’ve decided the new gender neutral form of Ms/Mr is just THE

[toastwithsalmon]

they call me toast because i'm jesus

guy who has a weird nickname and when he tries to explain where it came from it doesnt make sense

[toastwithsalmon]

IF I HEAR "omg toast hahahahah u sound just like a guy" FROM ONE MORE STR8 CIS WHITE MALE I WILL CUT OFF EVERYONE'S BALLS IN A 5 KM RADIUS FROM MINE

I'M NON BINARY FOR FUCKS SAKE MY LAD DO YOU HAVE DILDOS FOR EARS

#str8 guys #non binary #enby stuff #dildo #cismales #they them

[toastwithsalmon]

hey op u ok there? ur voice must be pretty bent after all that violent uh... violent *gestures vaguely at post*

People grow tired of my wit, only to find out I speak only shit

#/gen btw #i hope ur ok #violent humming? #screaming??

[toastwithsalmon]

potshed morter

morshed potater

[toastwithsalmon]

me: hey buddy here now hey- heyyyy-

logical brain: cmon now bud we can do this

me: please PLeaSE

mouth: REESES PUFFS REESES PUFFS EAT em UP EAT EM up EAT EM UP

#this song has been stuck in my head #for a week now #i cant stop singing it #please send help #adhd problems #adhd mood #my family thinks i’m crazy #maybe i am #logical brain #reeses puffs reeses puffs

[toastwithsalmon]

i remember in 5th grade i was talking to my friend about how much i love cauliflower and how i wanted to build a house made out of that starchy goodness, she was just like 'OMG UR SO FUNNY HAHA' like dude no i wANT A HOUSE MADE OUT OF CAULIFLOWER WHAT DO U NOT UNDERSTAND??? LIKE CRY ME RIVER AND LET ME USE UR TEARS FOR CAULIFLOWER CULTIVATION???? anyway I'm no longer friends with her so if one good thing arose from that conversation it was that

yk I haven’t met anyone with adhd who isn’t just a fucking comedian like I think everyone with adhd just has the best sense of humor

#cauliflower #adhd problems #cauliflower cult #like bro I'm serious #adhd #but also /srs