thebookofjayden

[thebookofjayden]

"Teacher, don't listen to him, he's a liar. He always lies. He said he went to Ohio and that's not even a real place."

#Once I proved Ohio existed he proceeds to tell me that it is abandoned and full of monsters #Ohio #First Grade quotes #Not doing much to combat that California-centric stereotype

[thebookofjayden]

6 year old to his peer:

Did you know that when you turn 100 years old they take you to the hospital and put a tube here *points to his chest* and then they shrink you down into a little baby?

#kid quotes #aging #mortality #something very logan's run/ the giver dystopian propaganda about it #jellyfish life

[thebookofjayden]

Me: Ok let's fill in the blanks about your teacher. "If my teacher weren't a teacher, she'd be a ________"?

Kids: PERSON!

#2nd grade

[thebookofjayden]

Me: G-O , what does that spell?

Kindergarteners: Go!

Kindergarten Boy: Oh! Like "I told you long ago, on the road, I got what they waitin' for."

#lil nas x #industry baby #actual baby #kindergarten quotes

[thebookofjayden]

Me: More than 1000 British soldiers died or were wounded in the Battle of Bunker Hill.

Students in the zoom chat:

RIP

Sad r.i.p.

rip

R.i.p.

*rip*

~riP~

#teens #gen z #bless them #Revolutionary War

[thebookofjayden]

5th Grader: "Teacher, were you born in the 19s?"

Me: "The 1900s? Yes I was."

5th Grader: *Mumbles to himself* "How are you people still alive?"

#By the grace of God #Methuselah

[thebookofjayden]

3rd grade boy: Hilda keeps mocking me and calling me names

Me: What did she call you?

Boy: James Charles

Me: Is that true Hilda?

Hilda:...... What's 'mocking' mean?

#James Charles

[thebookofjayden]

4th grader: Teacher, is it 'Billie Eilish' or 'Billie Cyrus'?

#Billie eilish #Billy Ray cyrus

[thebookofjayden]

Me, reading: ...the Ancient Pueblo People had lived there for 1000 years.

3rd Grader A: Was that when things were black and white?

3rd Grader B: Oh yeah! When was color invented, anyway?

#pleasantville #history #3rd grade

[thebookofjayden]

Teacher: Now you're going to draw what you look like on your first day of Kindergarten! You have a face and hair and...Yes, Evan?

Evan: Do we draw our skeleton?

#creepy kids #kindergarten #x ray vision

[thebookofjayden]

Second Grader (in tears): He's always mean to me! He always calls me a fat chicken nugget!

#Chicken nuggets

[thebookofjayden]

Tax Season

2nd Grader A: There are no taxes in Oregon.

2nd Grader B: Oh yeah, and it's dangerous in Oregon.

Second Grader C: Miss, did you know it's dangerous in Oregon because there are no taxes?

Me: Do you even know what taxes are?

Second Grader C: No

Second Grader A: Taxes are when you pay a little more money than the actual price.

Second Grader C: Yeah I knew that, I was just kidding.

#Tax season

[thebookofjayden]

FIRST GRADER: “My brothers said if they catch me eating junk food, they’re gonna beat me up”

*5 minutes later during the ice-breaker game*

What’s your favorite food? “Brokly”

What’s your favorite juice? “Wotr”

#first grade #diet #nutrition

[thebookofjayden]

FACTS.

Me: Now we're going to spell "hay."

1st Graders: Cows eat hay! Horses eat hay!

Girl: ...and unicorns eat candy.

#unicorn facts #first grade

[thebookofjayden]

Kindergarten girl: The four leaf clovers left us presents!

#sentient plants #st patricks day #leprechaun #four leaf clover

[thebookofjayden]

6th grader A: we're too young to talk about politics

6th Grader B: you're never too young. It doesn't matter if you can't vote; you have the right to have an opinion.

#wokeaf #damn #when i was 12 i was waiting for my hogwarts letter #sixth grade #politics

[thebookofjayden]

ME: The text says Hans is Dutch. What does that mean? Where is he from?

7 YR OLD: He's from the Neverland.

#peter pan #kid quotes #the netherlands #second grade