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Crowley: I was arrested for being too cool. Aziraphale: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Crowley: Is something burning? Aziraphale: Just my love for you. Crowley: Aziraphale, the toaster is on fire.

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Aziraphale: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

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Crowley: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

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Aziraphale: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Crowley: It’s not a joke. Crowley: *sniffles* Crowley: I’m a legit snack.

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[the-snek-of-eden]

Crowley: I can explain. Aziraphale: Can you? Crowley: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

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[the-snek-of-eden]

Aziraphale: This is such a bad idea. Crowley: Then why are you coming along? Aziraphale: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Aziraphale: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Crowley: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

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[the-snek-of-eden]

Aziraphale: What is your biggest weakness? Crowley: I can be uncooperative. Aziraphale: Okay, can you give me an example? Crowley: No.

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Aziraphale : Any idiot would know that. Crowley: I knew that! Aziraphale : See?

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Crowley: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Aziraphale : Aziraphale : Crowley, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn… Crowley: * Sips coffee from bowl*

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Crowley: I am an expert at identifying birds. Aziraphale : Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Crowley: Yeah, they're all birds.

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Crowley: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!  Aziraphale : Mind your language!  Crowley: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???  Aziraphale : Crowley: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Aziraphale: You look good in that hoodie. Crowley: You know where else I'd look good? Aziraphale, zero hesitation: My bed. Crowley, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

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[the-snek-of-eden]

the brainrot is real

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Aziraphale: My hands are cold. Crowley: Here, let me hold them. Aziraphale: My lips are cold too. Crowley: covers Aziraphale's mouth with his hand

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[the-snek-of-eden]

“what does the j stand for?”

“eh, just a j really”

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