Crowley: I was arrested for being too cool.
Aziraphale: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
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Crowley: Is something burning?
Aziraphale: Just my love for you.
Crowley: Aziraphale, the toaster is on fire.
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Aziraphale: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
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Crowley: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.
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Aziraphale: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Crowley: It’s not a joke.
Crowley: *sniffles*
Crowley: I’m a legit snack.
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Crowley: I can explain.
Aziraphale: Can you?
Crowley: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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Aziraphale: This is such a bad idea.
Crowley: Then why are you coming along?
Aziraphale: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
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Aziraphale: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Crowley: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
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Aziraphale: What is your biggest weakness?
Crowley: I can be uncooperative.
Aziraphale: Okay, can you give me an example?
Crowley: No.
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Aziraphale : Any idiot would know that.
Crowley: I knew that!
Aziraphale : See?
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Crowley: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Aziraphale :
Aziraphale : Crowley, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn…
Crowley: * Sips coffee from bowl*
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Crowley: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Aziraphale : Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Crowley: Yeah, they're all birds.
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Crowley: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!
Aziraphale : Mind your language!
Crowley: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Aziraphale :
Crowley: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
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Aziraphale: You look good in that hoodie.
Crowley: You know where else I'd look good?
Aziraphale, zero hesitation: My bed.
Crowley, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?
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the brainrot is real
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Aziraphale: My hands are cold.
Crowley: Here, let me hold them.
Aziraphale: My lips are cold too.
Crowley: covers Aziraphale's mouth with his hand
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“what does the j stand for?”
“eh, just a j really”
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