thatprocrastinatingpotato

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Natasha to Y/N: So what if I’m in love with you? Mind your own business.

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

#hands situation

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Fucking finally!

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

A/N: This is pure filth, and smut. Go ahead with caution.

____________________________________________

Lena drooled at the sight of her beefy Kryptonian practicing her punches on the pillars of the training room. She whined a bit as Kara shattered a huge pillar.

That grabbed the Super's attention and she turned around to seek the source of the whine.

“Lena? Baby? Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

Her voice almost cracked. It was no surprise that the badass CEO Lena Luthor, was a big mess when it came to the Girl of Steel. 

Kara seemed to have noticed the effect she had on her beloved and picked up a huge piece of debris and started pumping with it, in an attempt to mess up with Lena.

“What do you want, Princess?”

That earned her another soft whimper that no one, but the Kryptonian could hear. Although, this time Lena was a bit more composed.

“You are playing a very, very dangerous game.”

She replied and Kara smirked while throwing away the debris. She stepped closer to Lena and stood right in front of her. Lena was standing on a step which gave her a height advantage and it also gave Kara a reason to be at eye level with her beautiful boobs.

“Am I now, Baby? Are you not going to let me fuck you mindlessly the moment we step out?”

That made Lena's eyes almost bulge out of her skull.

“Kara!”

She whisper shouted, looking around to see if anyone was in earshot. Fortunately, it was only the both of them in the room. Kara noticed it too as she pulled her girlfriend closer by her waist.

“Is that the name you wish to go with, Princess? When I have your pleasure hostage?”

She whispered and pulled her girl closer. Lena stepped down to stand directly in front of the Super, her face now adorned with a blush as red as her girlfriend's cape. She gently stood on her tiptoes and placed her lips directly near her superpowered girlfriend's ear.

“Please take me as you wish, Daddy.”

That made Kara take a deep breath in and within a fraction of a second she found herself in an enclosed room. It was the DEO supply closet that Lena was very well familiar with.

“We should really-”

But any protest she had died in her throat when Kara started nipping her neck.

“I can't believe you started this again in the DEO.”

Kara said between the nips and smacked Lena's ass.

“Your muscles…”

Lena didn't need to explain further. Kara knew how fond of her muscles Lena was. She kept attacking Lena's earlobe and neck as she gently moved her hand toward the waistline of her girlfriend's slit skirt.

“Do you know what this fucking outfit does to me?”

She whispered and Lena stifled a moan, worrying about people hearing her.

“It's all yours, Daddy.”

That gave Kara the push she needed and within seconds her already-ruined panties were torn and Kara's fingers were teasing her entrance.

“May I?”

She asked softly and Lena nodded in her neck as she held onto Kara closer by her shoulders. The probing fingers finally entered her wet center and she couldn't contain herself.

“Fuck! You are so fucking wet for me, Princess.”

She noted and kept pleasuring her girlfriend. 

Kara had never before in her life used her powers for something selfish. But getting Lena off using her super speed and teasing her using temperature play was Kara's most desirable use of her powers.

She vibrated her fingers right at the spot she had discovered several times before and Lena's back arched against her arm. She held her close muttering sinful comments in her ears as she finally started gushing.

“That's it, Princess. Cum for Daddy. Just like that.”

Lena felt as if that orgasm had no end as Kara kept probing her again and again. She whimpered a bit as she realized she had nothing else left to give.

Kara looked at the entirely spent face of her girlfriend and kissed her on the forehead. She gently sat both of them down with Lena in her lap. 

Her fingers moved a bit inside Lena while maneuvering them and that got her another soft whimper. She pulled her closer, keeping her fingers stable, and kissed her girlfriend softly.

“Are you okay, Princess?”

Lena nodded softly in her neck.

“Never better.”

Her voice was a big hoarse with all the moans.

“I am going to remove my fingers now, okay?”

She could see another whimper bubbling up in Lena's throat before she shushed her.

“I will be gentle.”

She assured as she slowly and softly pulled her soaked fingers out of Lena's glistening center. There was still a soft whimper that escaped Lena at the sudden loss. But, Kara softly rubbed her outer lips before losing contact altogether.

She opened her eyes to see Kara licking her fingers and she pushed herself closer to her girlfriend, kissing her neck.

“You are insatiable, Supergirl.”

“Only for you, Princess.”

“We are never again having sex in this closet. Too risky.”

“If I flex my bicep right now you will get on your knees to suck my strap.”

“You are strapping?”

Lena's eyes darkened at the revelation and Kara chuckled knowing her girlfriend's further intention. 

_____________________________________________

A/N: So, that was extremely weird, right? Well, I started this collection back when I did to write some smut. But I never got to it. Today, I finally found my inspiration.

So, anyway, do let me know what do you think about it. As always, let me know if you want me to continue it. (Sometimes, I respond better to, Please Da- *coughs* nothing.)

#lena luthor #kara danvers #kara zor el #Beefy kara Danvers #lena x kara #supercorp endgame #karlena #supercorp #Smut #Top Kara Danvers #Bottom Lena Luthor #filth #pure smut

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Break my heart all over, why don't you?

"Who am I?"

"You're Jude St. Francis. You are my oldest, dearest friend."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Willem Ragnarsson. And I will never let you go."

#a little life #a little life fanart #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #jude and willem #frog and toad #credits to the rightful owners

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Writer's Note: This is not good. This is just angst. Only Hurt, no comfort.

_____________________________________________

When she entered, the entire firehouse was mourning one of their own. She doubted that. She doubted that they ever thought of her wife as one of them. If she was, they wouldn't have left her…

She had decided not to contemplate it. Not today. Today she was going to be there for her wife and give her the respect she deserved. She was going to be there, and sit between the people she probably despised the most right now, and listen to them say good things about her wife.

The fire chief started speaking first and she tuned it all out. Memories of her beautiful wife started clouding her mind and she let herself be carried away by them.

Seven Days Ago

When she entered their apartment, there was no sound. It had been a while since that happened. Ever since their fight every time she entered their apartment, Maya was running on the treadmill. 

They were both avoiding each other. Avoiding the elephant in the room. But… the apartment was quieter today. 

She kept her keys in the bowl beside the door and entered further. That's when she found her wife on the floor of the kitchen, looking at the ceiling. 

She softly approached the firefighter and looked at her. Maya still hadn't realized that someone was watching her. This was the first time in weeks that Carina had looked at her and all she could see was a completely different person in her wife's place.

Her eyes were dim, lightless. Her cheeks had shrunken and she looked significantly thinner. 

“Bella?”

She softly called her, yet Maya still flinched. 

“Hey, sorry. Sorry, I will get up. I'd…”

 Maya scurried to change her position, and when she stood up, Carina could see a slight limp in her step.

“Are you okay, Maya?”

She stopped in her tracks, in front of their bedroom door, holding onto the handle. It felt as if that handle was her only saving grace at the moment.

“I am… fine.”

Carina could hear the small crack in her wife's voice and couldn't help but move towards her.

“Bella?”

That increased the blonde's grip on the handle. But that inanimate object couldn't help her keep her emotions in check anymore and there was a faint sob.

She saw her scurry away even farther as if she was afraid of her emotions.

“I am sorry, I am sorry. I'll just… I just needed something. But, it's fine. I'll be fine.”

She spoke more to herself than anyone else and if Carina wasn't standing so close to her, she wouldn't have been able to hear it.

“Bella…”

“Will you please hold me?”

It was a whisper and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear it. It was a shock. That must've taken her wife so much. She hasn't asked for affection from her in the past seven months and she must've been extremely afraid to do so at that moment as well. Maybe she was silent for a minute too long, and Maya took it as a rejection of her request.

“Sorry, I shouldn't have…”

But before she could complete it, Carina strode from her place and held Maya closer to her waist from behind. She could feel her trembling with sobs that wrecked her and she tightened her hold.

Maya was sobbing for a few moments before she stiffened in her arms.

“I am sorry.”

It was as if the vulnerable instance had passed. Maya's voice had gone from harsh to soft in a second. She pulled away and stood at the edge of the couch, looking down.

“Do you want me to look at your leg?”

“I am okay. It's okay.”

Maya started moving towards the guest room and she felt this sudden tiredness taking over. She was tired of tiptoeing around her wife. She was tired of the world, she was tired of being angry, tired of being sad. Tired of everything.

So, she walked towards Maya again and held her wrist. Her wife stopped in her tracks. She looked at their linked arms and Carina.

“Will you hold me?”

It was the same request that Maya had, spoken with similar intensity, and Maya didn't waste a minute to move towards her and engulf her in her arms. She pulled her closer and took in her scent. She missed her. She missed her so badly that her body ached for Maya's touch and now that she was in her arms, nothing mattered. 

“Can we pretend, just for today? Can we pretend everything is fine?”

She heard Maya ask and she nodded. Maya had then moved both of them to the couch and held Carina through the night, telling her about how everyone was treating her at the station, how she had felt extremely lonely, how she knew it was her fault, but she needed someone to protect her.

Present Day

Her link of thoughts was broken by a silent touch on her arm. It was Ben sitting on her side, looking at her and that's when she realized that the people in the room were all expecting her to speak.

So, she got up and went towards the stage. She stayed away from all the consoling contacts, Maya's so-called friends tried to provide her.

She got up on the stage and Chief Ross stepped away from the Microphone as she took her place.

“I do not know what to say.”

She started.

“I thought I had a lot to talk about, but I do not know what to say. The first time I met Maya, all she had was the utmost care for the station she worked at and the people she worked with. The last…”

Her voice broke, remembering that last conversation they had before everything. But she composed herself.

“The last time we spoke, she told me how much she missed you all. The way it hurt when everyone stopped talking when she entered the room, the way everyone ignored her when she came out of the building with her injury. She feared that one day, you wouldn't pull her out if she was stuck in a fire and yet, she put all of your safety before herself and that's what finally cost her.

You took the love of my life away from me. You didn't save her when she needed saving. None of you gave another thought when she didn't get out of that burning building, and none of you care that she is… not here.”

That finally hit her. Maya was not here. Not anymore. She wasn't going to just come around the corner, pull her in by her waist and assure her that everything is going to be okay. 

“My wife was emotionally abused by her captain, while the fire chief stood right beside him and watched and all she had asked for was a fair trial. The one that was given to Robert Sullivan. Offense, drug abuse while being on active duty. My wife's offense was she rejected direct orders to save a kid's life. I am glad that she did. Because that little bambino is sitting here today.”

She looked in the back at a little kid with tears in his eyes.

“My wife's death wasn't an accident, but a murder. A murder that was committed by this department.”

She looked angrily at everyone sitting in the front rows, pretending to be the closest people in her wife's life, with their heads down while a soft chatter began rumbling around the room.

“Maya made me promise that I will not hold a grudge, nor will I ask for any answers. So, this is the last time any of you will hear from me.”

She took a deep breath in to calm herself and walked away from the podium. She could hear a lot of chatter in the background. But she left the station without looking back.

Five Days Ago

Maya was in a better mood after a while. She had held Carina and Carina had held her for the entire night. They had talked about the future. Maya had decided to leave at 19. She had decided to leave the place behind since it didn't feel like home anymore. She was going to put in her papers and that was the first step in her healing.

When they got called in for a fire, she jumped in. She and Montgomery went in to evacuate the building and they started clearing out the place floor by floor. On the last floor after pulling out an elderly lady, she heard a cry for help.

“Montgomery, you go ahead.”

She told him and broke down the door.

“Hello!”

She called out and another call came from the Kitchen. She kicked down the door and looked inside. The visibility was getting lower by seconds. But, she spotted two small kids sitting below the sink.

“This is Bishop. Two kids are stranded on the last floor. Please send someone in.”

She asked, but there was no reply. She asked a few times again before she finally picked up both the kids and started running towards the exit. She gave her mask and glasses to the kids and asked them to alternate.

She could feel her already injured leg giving up. But, that wasn't an option. Her priority was the kids on her back. So, she kept going, she kept going till she saw the exit of the building. That's when she heard a “The structure is collapsing” call on her radio.

There was no time to get all of them out. So, she pushed the kids out of the entrance just seconds before the building collapsed.

She had only one thought on her mind as darkness took over her. Carina's beautiful smile.

Five Days Ago

She was barely breathing when they transported her to Gray Sloan.

Amelia took over her treatment as soon as she was brought in. There was a huge laceration on her head, a lot of ribs were broken in, and a piece of metal was sticking out of her, injuring a lot of her internal organs. Carina was immediately informed of her condition.

When Carina entered the room, Amelia was ordering one thing after the other, but all Carina could think of was how small her fierce wife looked. She went by her side and took her hand in hers.

“Bambina?”

She softly said and Maya's eyes fluttered open. Carina gripped her hand tightly and went closer.

“Hey.”

Carina could hear all the strain it put on Maya to speak. 

“Hey Bambina, you are going to be fine, okay? You are going to be fine.”

“I wanted to meet our Baby. I hope they…”

But her thoughts were interrupted by the pain that shot through her body. 

“Bambina!”

She exclaimed and looked at Amelia panicked. 

“I hope they turn out just like you. I will be counting my blessings…”

“Don't talk, Bambina. Please. Preserve your energy.”

“We don't have much time, My love. I love you. So much.”

She nodded.

“Please say it back, Baby. Please.”

“I love you too, Bella. I love you so much.”

“Please do not hold… anything against anyone. Move on.”

“No! No! You are going to… come back. You are going to come back for our baby.”

Maya smiled as if she knew what was coming.

“I love you so much. Thank you.”

She said as she was getting pulled away. Carina placed a kiss on her forehead and gave her hand a last squeeze before she was taken away.

“I love you too, Bella.”

She prayed a lot that day. She prayed to anyone who was listening to her to give her the love of her life back. She had looked at the firefighters gathering in the waiting room. 

Andy had tried to approach her, but she had outright denied talking to any of them. When Amelia came out, she already knew it was bad news. She had given a lot of those over the years.

The extent of Maya's injuries was bad and during surgery, she had coded way too many times. Amelia held her friend close as soon as she was done telling her the news. Carina stood motionless, looking at the door that had taken both her brother and her wife. She was still hoping for Andrea and Maya to walk through those doors.

Present Day

She left the fire station and entered the apartment that they shared. She looked around and for the first time since it happened, she realized how empty that apartment was without her Maya.

She slid down by the door and finally broke down. Her loud call for her wife was never going to be heard again.

#maya and carina #carina x maya #maya bishop #carina deluca #why did i do this #Why do i keep hurting myself? #We would never know. #angst #just... #why do i hate myself #i don't know why i am posting this #i don't really know what this post is #Its just pain

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

“In the end, that was the problem with romance. It was so easy to romanticise romance because it was everywhere. It was in music and on TV and in filtered Instagram photos. It was in the air, crisp and alive with fresh possibility. It was in falling leaves, crumbling wooden doorways, scuffed cobblestones and fields of dandelions. It was in the touch of hands, scrawled letters, crumpled sheets and the golden hour. A soft yawn, early morning laugher, shoes lined up together dy the door. Eyes across a dance floor. I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found nothing was there.”

- Loveless, Alice Oseman

#alice oseman #loveless #quotes #book readers

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Above all, this scene is extremely powerful. It's hard to accept a person because, and endure the crap they give us, just because we love them. But it's harder to actually stand up to everything. It's harder to call out a person who needs help and ask them to seek it.

It’s going to get worse before it gets better doesn’t it?

#maya and carina #carina x maya #maya bishop #carina deluca #this is killing me #I hope Maya gets the help #I also hope they survive this #I don't know if i have it in me to lose another beautiful lesbian couple on a show

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

My little Marina heart is broken. What the hell was that?!

#station19 #maya and carina #how can that even happen? #maya bishop #carina deluca #just let them be happy

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Well... Thank you for calling me out.

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

kara: eat your greens

*lena in the next episode*

#supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #kara zor el #katie mcgrath #supercorp endgame #gay #lgbtq

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

This is pure gold.

36 Questions that Lead to Love

"What's your favorite color?" Amelia asks softly, kicking her legs away from the edge of the counter as Kai stirs sugar into a steaming mug of coffee.

"Why?" They chuckle, setting the spoon down and bracing their hands on the edge of the counter.

"I think there's a lot I don't actually know about you."

"Green." They purse their lips. "You?"

"Purple."

"I'm sensing an underlying panic to this question," they bite their lip, tracing their eyes over her, looking for a visual sign of the anxiety they could feel.

"Maybe a little," she sighs. "I have a tendency to jump into things quickly, without really knowing the person I'm pulling along with me."

"And you're worried that's what's happened?"

"Well, Scout wanted to know what your favorite color was so that he could use it for your skin, because obviously," she gestures at her skin, "purple, and I realized I didn't know what your favorite color was."

"Which then spiraled into a pool of doubt and panic?" Amelia nods.

"Maybe you do know me better than I thought," she chuckles, pulling one of her feet onto the counter.

"Well, ask away."

"I really only had the favorite color question ready." They shake their head in amusement and pull their phone out of their back pocket, quickly typing into the search bar.

"You ever heard of these?" They turn their phone screen to her, and her eyebrows furrow as she takes it from them. "Some of them are a little cheesy, so just pick whatever you like."

"36 Questions That Lead to Love?" She scrolls quickly down the screen. "I bet I could answer this one," she chuckles, and Kai raises their eyebrows. "Would you like to be famous or not?"

"I think we both know that answer is no." 

"I never would've guessed." She leans back against the cabinet behind her. "I wouldn't mind it. Maybe not the insane type of fame where everyone stalks you and screams disgustingly sexual things at you, but," she shrugs, "I don't think some people worshipping how much of a genius I am would hurt my ego."

"I think that's the most neurosurgeon-type thing you've ever said," they shake their head and blow at the steam coming from the mug before taking a sip. "What's the next one?"

"Another I can answer, When's the last time you sang to yourself? To someone else?"

"Well, you've gotta answer that, now."

"I sang Scout a lullaby the other night. I don't think he liked it because he didn't get sleepy at all, but that's mine." She shrugs. "I've never been the most musical person."

"Just my number one fan." They bite their lip and take the phone from her, and their eyes immediately widen. "Do you have a hunch about how you'll die?"

"I think everyone around me, myself included, will ironically end up dying of some brain-related injury. So, there's that." She nudges them with her foot. "How about you?"

"For most of my life, I believed it would be because of my sexuality or identity, so maybe that." They glance up at Amelia. "Too much?"

"I think I'm more disturbed by the way your eyes lit up when you saw that question," she places her chin on top of her knee and leans forward, wrapping her arms around her leg pulled up to her chest.

"Completely different direction; for what in your life do you feel most grateful?"

"Scout," she exhales without a beat of hesitation, her head tilting to the side as Kai smiles gently. "I think for the longest time, I had no faith anything good would come into my life. Lots of self-sabotage and avoidance, but suddenly I had this wonderful tiny human to love and care for, and I couldn't run away from that. And I think that's fallen into other parts of my life as well." There's a silent pause for a moment, and she reaches for Kai's hand. "You?"

"That I got the hell out of Ohio. I had a lot of doubt and fear when it was all happening, and as difficult as it was, I know that I could so easily be miserable in that small town if I hadn't worked as hard." They take her hand, lacing their fingers through hers and squeezing.

"What happened?" They shrug.

"I realized I needed to get out. It was suffocating, and I was sick of living in fear and a constant state of anxiety. I transferred schools and almost immediately made a clean break from my family. Lived off cup noodles for a few months until I found my footing and honestly didn't believe it would ever get easier, but here we are." Amelia's face softens, and she pulls them closer to her. "Okay, moving on," they sigh. "Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?"

"I could give you a million answers to that, but I don't think any of them are the deep insight into my brain the question's looking for." Kai purses their lips and sets the phone down, using their newly free hand to brush a strand of Amelia's hair behind her ear.

"What's the first thing that came to your mind?"

"Moving away to the middle of nowhere, where no one knows who I am and I have a completely clean start."

"And, why haven't you done it?"

"My family," she sighs, gripping their hand tighter. "I'd always wanted a group of people around me who would love me constantly and accept me unconditionally. And now that I have that, I'm terrified to lose that. And, I think my job's pretty incredible, so I'm staying here for as long as life lets me."

"Well," their hand falls to her thigh, and their thumb runs over the fabric of her pant leg, "if you'd ever like a getaway partner, you know where to find me." Amelia grins toothily and leans forward to capture their lip between hers quickly. "As long as wherever it is allows cats," they add softly.

"Oh, of course." They smile and kiss her again, chuckling as her arms wrap around their neck. 

"What's yours?" She weaves her hand into their hair, splaying her fingers over the back of their scalp as their eyes divert away from hers, and a sigh falls from their lips. 

"Honestly? Probably to confront my family and stand up for myself how I never knew how to before. And I think the reason I've never done that is pretty obvious." Her head cocks to the side before she pulls them close to her, resting her head on their shoulder as they lean into her embrace. "What's happening?"

"I wanted to hug you," she whispers, gently kissing their neck. "I wish I could help you with all of these family problems."

"You're gonna make me cry," Kai mutters, and Amelia holds them tighter as a nervous laugh accompanies their words. "I don't talk about this a lot." Their arms wrap around her, and she scooches to the edge of the counter, wrapping her legs around them. 

"You're always welcome to talk, or cry, about it if you'd like." They hum softly and pull away, quickly blinking away the water pooling in their eyes.

"Let's go sit down, yeah?" They nod back toward the couch before moving their hands under Amelia's thighs and lifting her, laughing as she holds on tightly and they drop her onto the couch. "Your turn," they hand her the phone, taking a seat across from her and pulling a blanket over their bodies.

"What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?"

"Honestly? Our Parkinson's research. I know it's nowhere near done, but knowing the difference we're making in the world right now isn't ever lost on me." She meets their eyes and leans her head against the cushion beside her. "You?"

"Getting sober. For the first time, the hundredth time, and every time in between. And, learning not to feel shameful about that."

"I don't think we should do anymore of these," Kai murmurs. Amelia frowns and turns off their phone, tossing it between them.

"Why?"

"You're making me feel all mushy and emotional," they shake their head. "I'm feeling incredibly grateful for the screwed-up twist of events in our lives that have led us to each other."

"It's almost like," she bites her bottom lip and smiles, "it gets better."

"Is this optimism? From you?" They lean forward and grab the phone. "Here we go, tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met."

"So, an ego boost?" They grin toothily. "I love your awareness of everything happening around you. You're always the first to realize when something's wrong or when I need you, even before I do sometimes. You're constantly wanting to help, and I am so grateful for that constant kindness and comfort." They pout their lip and hold out their arms, which Amelia quickly leans forward towards.

"I love how genuine you are," they laugh softly as she settles on their lap, straddling their legs and toying strands of their hair between her fingers. "I really do admire how honest you are about what you feel because that's not something I've ever known how to do. It's incredibly refreshing to be around, and I hope that I start to pick up on even a fraction of your honesty." She blinks quickly, and Kai wipes their finger under her eye as she glances up at the ceiling. "Don't start crying now," they pull her into a hug, whispering softly against her ear.

"You want me to stop being genuine now? After what you just said?" Amelia pulls away and dabs at her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt. "See? You knew exactly what I needed to hear." She fans at her face. "Okay, what's the next question?" Kai laughs.

"When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?"

"Well, you can answer half of that. By myself?" She shrugs. "A few weeks ago. I lost a kid in surgery, and it just never gets easier to deal with. There was a lot of crying on the drive home, but luckily Link let me take Scout for the night, so I wasn't totally sad and alone." She nods towards them.

"I don't cry a lot. The last time, both in front of someone and alone, was on the car ride back from seeing my family, and then to David as soon as I saw him. I try to avoid bringing him into too much of my personal life, but he asked how it went with my family, and the waterworks just came out of nowhere."

"Am I allowed to say that I hate your family yet?"

"They're not all bad. It's really just my parents, my brother's okay. I think I just always expect to be over it in some sense, but it always stings when I see them. They're just not the most, how do I say, progressive people."

"I hope they learn to value you and your presence in their lives," she sighs, combing her hand through their hair. "And if not, you are always welcome to move into Meredith's and constantly be surrounded by love and family."

"I think that house may collapse if another person moves in, but I appreciate the offer," they beam, settling their hands on her hips. "How about one more question, and then we call it a night before this turns into the waterworks festival."

"Sounds like a plan." She gestures towards the phone. "You pick."

"If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?" Amelia cocks her head to the side and nods.

"I would most regret not having thanked the people in my life for accepting me, for sticking with me through everything, and for constantly giving me a home and family." Her face settles, a cloud of gratitude floating through her eyes. "You?"

"Well, now mine sounds cheesy."

"You have to say it; come on." She nudges them gently with her elbow, and Kai rolls their eyes.

"I think I would most regret not telling you that I love you. Saying that scares me, so I want you to know that, and I think it's fitting given that these questions are called questions that lead to love." They laugh nervously and glance down. "I realized recently that I've never regretted telling someone I love them. Only not telling someone. And," they wave their hands, "I don't need you to say it back anytime. I just want you to know that."

"Well, now, if I say it back, it won't feel genuine," Amelia sniffles, bringing her hand up to their cheek and gently running her thumb down her cheekbone. "I hope you know that when I tell you right now that I love you, I'm not just saying it because you said it. It's because I do, in fact, love you."

Their arms tighten around her waist as their eyes close, and their face falls onto her shoulder, disguising their sniffle with a soft laugh. "I never cry," they mutter against her neck, "but you've managed to bring me to tears twice in one night."

"But, good tears, right?" They lift their head and nod.

"Good tears, yes. Just enough to the point where I know I'm going to sleep incredibly well tonight because of how overwhelmed I feel with emotion right now."

"So, my plan to get you to actually sleep worked?"

"That was your motive all along, huh?" They tease, moving their hands under her and slowly standing from the couch, gently lifting her as they rise. "Just to get me to sleep."

"I'm glad you're aware." Her arms snake around their neck, holding on tightly while she presses kisses to their skin.

"I propose that we spend all of tomorrow in this apartment, more specifically," they drop her onto the bed, "in this bed, so that I can properly show you how much I love you."

"You're getting no objection from me." She curls into them as the lights flicker off, and they settle behind her, an arm thrown over her body that pulls her against them. "Thank you for letting me in," she kisses the back of their hand, "thank you for putting up with my bout of anxiety."

"Thank you for letting me love you," Kai whispers, closing their eyes as she hums softly in front of them. "Goodnight," they smile.

"Goodnight, Kai."

#kaimelia #kai bartley #amelia shepherd #kaimelia fanfic #kaimelia fanfiction #greys fanfiction #greys anatommy #grey's anatomy #greys abc #greys fanfic

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

what do you mean being sleepy isn’t a personality trait

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Important: Please make sure to go through the trigger warnings for this book before even touching it. You will be able to find the list here.

Being a reader is sometimes extremely tiring. Just because you do not have control over the narrative. The characters that you have grown to love in the past 100-150 pages suffer and suffer and suffer, and you cannot do anything to end their suffering. You can just move on as they go through unbearable pain and heartbreak and just keep going till their suffering ends.

I just wish it was an option to hold the characters, to maybe just give them a brief hug and let them know that they were not alone and even though their suffering may never end, they aren't going through it themselves. That there is someone who is shedding a tear for them as it goes on.

Yes, Hanya Yanagihara, I kinda pretty much hate you. Yes, you are a wonderful writer. Yes, I may read ‘A Little Life’ for a third time because every three years or so I may feel that my emotional nuance didn't quite capture the feelings that were put forward through some of the most beautiful lines ever written.

“I have become lost to the world

In which I otherwise wasted so much time

It means nothing to me

Whether the world believes me dead

I can hardly say anything to refute it

For truly, I am no longer a part of the world.”

P. S. The years were indeed not happy.

#reader #reading #a little life #Angst #feelings #jude and willem #I hate this so much i kinda love it #I know that makes zero sense #hanya yanigahara #My head hurts #triggering themes

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

Someone woke up and chose the truth.

writers will really have a doc titled ‘fic planning’ and then it’s just blank

#writing

[thatprocrastinatingpotato]

She looked at the papers in front of her blankly. For the first time in a while, the paperwork brought her no feelings. Neither the feeling of joy about closing a deal nor frustration about having to go through thousands of documents.

She felt numb. She kept looking at the same words again and again, but she couldn't help but remember last night's conversation again and again.

Kara had come to her balcony, she had declared that she was giving up. But, Lena couldn't help but hear that villain comment in her mind again and again. The lines on the pages in front of her made no sense as she went ahead with them. 

But, she needed to work. So, she shook her emotions away and dug her head in the papers again. When she focused a bit closely on the page in front of her she realized that she had read the same line for about the twentieth time.

So, she did what any rational person would do. She decided to angrily turn the page. But during her fight with the paper, her thumb caught the sharp edge of the sheet, and she pulled it away sharply, looking at the page.

She looked at it for a while clutching her finger before tears started flowing through her eyes. It felt like the entire world was against her at that moment. Even the paper wanted to hurt. 

The problem was, she couldn't stop. She had buried the emotions down for a while now and now that they had gotten out, they weren't stopping.

She was still clutching onto her finger as she kept on crying. In that entire commotion, she didn't hear the Super landing on her balcony, worried and entering as she saw her friend crying.

“Lena?”

She asked softly after assessing that there was no immediate threat. Lena looked back and saw her friend looking at her worried. She looked back at the culprit and looked at Supergirl before standing up and placing her head on the super's chest.

There was a hesitation in her friend's demeanor for a moment before she was engulfed in a hug. The sudden warmth made her cry even more and Supergirl may have misunderstood her tears as she started to pull away, but was pulled in again by the CEO.

“Don't leave, please.”

The Superhero's hands were again pulling her closer as she mumbled sweet nothings in her ear. She nuzzled in Kara's neck as her tears finally started subduing. She felt a hand rubbing her back and another holding her close, ensuring her that she was not gonna leave.

She pulled away after a moment and looked up, feeling a bit conscious about her appearance now. But, all she could see in Kara's eyes was worry. The superhero gently ran a thumb across her cheek, catching the remnants of tears, still a bit worried about everything that happened.

So, she put out her thumb to show the reason behind all the tears. Kara looked at her hand for quite a while before looking up.

“Am I supposed to see something?”

She asked and Lena scoffed.

“For a person with X-Ray vision, you have terrible eyesight. I have a…”

That's when she realized how juvenile it was. 

“You have?”

“A papercut.”

She mumbled, but the Superhero heard it clearly and she couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her.

“This is exactly why-”

But her rant was cut out by Kara gently holding her wrist and bringing the thumb closer. She inspected it for a bit before seriously looking up.

“That does seem like a life-threatening injury. Should we go to an ER?”

Lena whined at the response but couldn't help the smile that settled on her lips as well.

“It's all your fault.”

She said after a beat.

“Is it?”

“Yes. If you told me who you were earlier, I wouldn't be this mad at you and I wouldn't work with Lex and you won't call me a villain and the paper wouldn't avenge me because I am a Luthor.”

It was supposed to be lighthearted, but looking at Kara she realized it was anything but.

“I'm-”

“I'm sorry, Lena. So sorry for not telling you sooner. But, there was never a good time. I know, because I have tried.”

Lena pulled away a bit more looking at the hero, who suddenly had a newfound interest in the CEO's office flooring.

“What do you mean?”

“I went back. I tried to change the way I told you. Tried to control the narrative. But every time, it ended with something horrible.”

Lena was shocked.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I couldn't bear not having you in my life anymore. I couldn't… you looked at me like you hated me and I couldn't tolerate that gaze anymore. I am so sorry.”

She looked at her, looking for any sign of malice in her confession. But there wasn't any.

“I am sorry for making you go through it all.”

“I am sorry too.”

That was it. Of course, they had a lot to work through. Of course, they had a long path to walk. But, they both cared enough about each other to put in the work. 

Kara looked at her, asking for permission to hold her close again. Lena nodded and was immediately pulled in a tight embrace. She pressed a soft kiss on the brunette locks.

They started after a while and the super saw the CEO still looking at the cut on her thumb.

“Do you want a Supergirl Bandaid for that?”

“Well, I could use one.”

Both of them looked at each other once again and chuckled. They are going to be okay and this is a start.

____________________________________________

It felt good to write again. Also, I'll never be tired of writing for these two idiots in love.

#Supercorp #fanfic #kara x lena #lena luthor #Kara Danvers #Paper Cut #i love them #idiots in denial #lgbtq+ #love is love #break my heart all over again