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tatooinetraders · 2 years
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Falling
Obi Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader
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word count: 2294
summary: obi wan is worried about breaking the jedi code, but he breaks the reader’s heart along the way. angst, but a happy ending :) inspired by falling by why don’t we
author’s note: this is also my first star wars fic, so enjoy! if you want to be tagged in future fics, let me know!  also mostly unedited, so what’s new?
Falling in love was never a part of the plan, but sometimes the force works in mysterious ways. Unfortunately, Obi Wan was bound to the ways of the Jedi and y/n was caught in between her heart and her head. 
It all started when the Council sent the two out on a mission to Kamino to check on the clone army production and talk to Shaak Ti in person. They were in a small starship to stay out of the Seperatist scanners as they flew through the galaxy. The conversation started as they went into hyperspace.
“Master Kenobi, don’t take this the wrong way, but why did the council pick the both of us for this mission? Why not send General Skywalker with you, or even Commander Cody?” y/n said as Obi Wan turned to face her in the co-pilot chair. “I am sure that he wouldn’t mind seeing his home.”
“Well, I am glad that we were chosen for this. It sounds simple, and honestly, a little time away from the battleground is amazing. It also doesn’t hurt that I have a skilled General and Master Jedi to travel with,” y/n blushed and turned her chair forward to try and hide the emotion that had reddened her cheeks. “And to answer your second question, Anakin is currently travelling with Padme and we really can’t afford to take Commander Cody out of the war right now.”
“I am glad that you think that I am adept, but I think the only thing that we will be needing on this mission is your master negotiation skills.”
“Don’t overstate my wordsmith abilities. It is no match for your incredible actions on the battlefield. The council probably wants you to make an appearance to inspire the clones. If I were one of them, I would be praying to serve under you.”
And with that, y/n was stuck in the sand; unable to free her mind from his compliments. To Obi Wan, he was just saying the truth and didn’t think much about what he said. It is not because he did not mean what he said, but he believed that their relationship was strictly professional. Y/n did not realize that this moment would be when she fell off the ledge.  
The next few months separated the pair, but every night since their trip to Kamino they tried to contact each other through datapads, comlinks, and the occasional hologram. They both convinced the council it was to discuss strategy, but they really could not go long without each other. They seemed to understand each other in a way that nobody else could. Obi Wan and Anakin had an unbreakable bond, but it was something different with y/n. This was attachment. This was something that he was not allowed to feel. This was something that y/n was not allowed to feel. But here they were, harboring affection for each other behind the back of the Jedi. He told himself that this was no different than his relationship with any other member on the council, but he knew deep down that this was something else and he could not bear to admit it. 
After both generals successfully won their battles, they returned to Coruscant to meet with the Jedi Council and the Senate to report. Y/n arrived first and when she got word of Kenobi’s arrival, she dropped what she was doing and rushed to catch him before he met with the council. Obi smiled immediately when he saw y/n approaching him. 
“Y/n! Maker, it has been too long since I have seen you in person. I was starting to think that it was normal to be light blue and transparent,” Obi Wan stated while resisting the urge to embrace y/n in his arms.
“The sound of your voice is so much clearer when it is not coming through a transmission,” y/n laughed back.
“You know that you love it either way.”
“Yeah right.”
“Just admit that you love the sound of my voice,” Obi Wan pressed.
“Nope, I absolutely do not love the sound of your voice. I love you” y/n said back with a silly smile, but that is when the laughter stopped. Y/n finally said what was on her mind and it seemed to make the galaxy stop. 
Obi Wan heard those three words and shut down. He realized where he was standing: The Jedi Temple. He was in the one place that would disapprove of those eight letters. He felt so conflicted at that moment. His heart was telling him to say it back, but his head was telling him that it was wrong. He was usually so great with words, but now, he could not even think. Y/n stood there, searching Obi Wan’s eyes for some kind of response. She did not mean to do something wrong, but she still meant what she said, even if it was in response to Obi Wan’s classic quips. She would not take it back for anything. The silence was killing her. She prayed to herself, Oh maker, please just say something, anything. Suddenly Obi Wan came back to reality and shook his head.
“I-I am sorry. I just don’t know how to respond. You know I can’t say it back,” Obi Wan said, avoiding eye contact. Y/n then cut him off and closed the space between them.
“Why can’t you say it back if that’s how you feel. The force is flowing through us and it doesn’t lie. I would not ask this of you if it was not something that I thought you capable of. In case you forgot, I am a Jedi too. I am at as much of a risk at even contemplating what I admitted just minutes ago. Don’t you understand that I am not going to let the code dictate how I feel about you?”
Tears were rolling down y/n’s face. Faint footsteps were heard echoing from another part of the temple. It broke the silence that would have been too much to bear. Every emotion felt stronger and y/n cursed the force for heightening them. 
“Y/n, you understand better than anyone that sometimes I do not agree with the council, but the code is something that I live by. You can’t ask me to disregard everything that I stand for just for you.” Obi Wan finally looked into y/n’s eyes and pulled her hands into his.
“Don’t just do it for me. Do it for yourself.” 
There they were, staring into each other’s eyes. Both sets were filled with pain and even Obi Wan’s eyes were welling up with tears. It felt like an eternity and the only thing y/n could hear was the blood pumping through her veins. How could she stand here, staring into the eyes of the man she loved, feeling so lost and alone? She always felt safe and comfortable in Obi Wan presence, even now in this state of passionate confusion, she could not deny that her hands felt comfortable in his. Why could he not feel the same?
Obi Wan finally responded with a shake of his head, “I must go. This is not the time or the place.” And with that Obi Wan took off down the hallway, pulling his hood up as he went.
“Kriff you, Kenobi.” y/n said just loud enough for him to hear as he marched down the hallway. 
From that moment on, they distanced themselves from each other. Y/n did it to protect herself and keep her emotions in check. Even though she did not always agree with the Jedi, she agreed with the ideals and swore to follow them. Obi Wan did it for the same reasons, but he also did it because he did not want to admit what he was feeling. How could he feel this way when his entire upbringing was against it? He thought that if he revealed his love that he would be breaking the code. What he did not know that everything that he had done to spend time with y/n in the past revealed how he truly felt. Nothing could hide the fact that he loved her too. Anakin and Ahsoka harassed him about it on the daily. If they accepted it, why couldn’t he? 
~
Three long and lonely weeks after their fight, Obi Wan and y/n were forced to work things out. They were going to be leaving on an undercover mission soon and if they did not trust each other with their lives, it could result in a catastrophe. He journeyed out to find y/n conversing with the younglings that had just returned from creating their lightsabers. The children laughed and smiled as they proudly showed them off. Obi Wan had never seen this side of her before; it was always the confident general that inspired everyone around her and incited fear into her enemies, but this time it was different. She had been vulnerable in front of Obi Wan all those weeks ago, but something about this interaction with the younglings had changed him. He finally realized that attachment was not so bad. These children had proven that. It was at this moment that Obi Wan realized that he must admit his love. If y/n brought light to everyone around her, he wanted to be a part of that light. Y/n looked up and saw Obi Wan observing from a distance and realized that it was time to prepare for their departure. She finished talking with the younglings and then they ran off. Y/n stood up and brushed herself off as Kenobi approached.
“I am not looking forward to these mission preparations, but let’s just get on with it, Kenobi” y/n stated, still upset from earlier this month.
“Listen, y/n, I know you don’t want to go on this mission with me, or let alone be around me, but I have something that I need to say,” Obi Wan had y/n’s full attention now. “I l-”
Suddenly Anakin arrived and alerted the pair “Master Kenobi. Master y/n.”
“Yes, Anakin,” Obi Wan sighed.
“Master Yoda wants me to inform you that it is time for you guys to depart.”
“Thank you, Anakin. We will be on our way.”
Y/n stood there confused, but happy for them to get on their way and avoid this whole conversation. She was not ready to open up with Obi Wan after the way she was hurt the last time she conversed with him. She started to walk towards the ship, but Obi Wan grabbed her forearm to stop her from leaving.
“Y/n, please,” Obi Wan pleaded, “just let me finish.”
“You heard Anakin, it is time to go.” 
“No, this needs to be said before we go. Y/n, I love you. I know this goes against everything that I believe in because of the Jedi, but I can’t deny my emotions any longer. I know that we are not supposed to have attachments, but I feel stronger because of it. I see the way you interact with those around you. I have loved you since the day I met you. I love the way you use your emotions to guide you. You are brave, courageous, and someone that I strive to be.”
“Obi, I just, I don’t know what to say.” Y/n was shocked, but smiled happily. This is something that she wanted to hear for so long, but could not believe that it would actually happen. Obi Wan’s hands traveled to y/n’s shoulders. They were staring at each other intently, breathing in sync. The tension of the confession pulled them close. Obi Wan was the first to cut the tension with light sarcasm.  
“Don’t say anything then,” Obi Wan breathed out as he leaned in y/n. When their lips connected, they forgot that they were standing on the hanger, exposed. The force flowed through their bodies and they felt connected. This moment was something that each of them had been longing for. Soon they both remembered where they were standing and pulled apart. Luckily, nobody had passed by, but the two would always remember to stay hidden in the future.
A shared smile appeared on their lips as they walked towards their ship. This time the silence between them was comfortable, nothing like weeks ago. They both boarded the ship when Obi Wan decided to answer a question that had been asked long ago.
“Hey, y/n, do you remember when we went on our first solo mission together and you asked why the council would send the both of us?”
“Yeah, I still can’t figure it out, but I am glad that they did.”
“Well,” Obi Wan said sheepishly, “it is because I asked them if you could go with me. They asked me who I wanted to go with me since my usual companions were busy elsewhere, and I chose you. I never really knew why I was drawn to you, but the force influenced me.”
“I guess we have the force to thank for setting us up,” y/n laughed. “And if the force set us up then the Jedi are just going to have to deal with us. I mean, I don’t think that they will ever find out, but the force will be with us.”
Obi Wan nodded and let out a small chuckle. Each Jedi buckled into their seats and prepared to leave. As the generals flew off, their hands found each other. Silently, they both thanked the force for catching them as they fell, falling into love.
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