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sootygoggles · 3 years

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Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!

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daydr-eam · 7 years

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“should we know us a little better” tag 📜

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people maaaan this is long

tagged by @shownud (jasdbasd thanks gurl ilu 🌺🌼💕🌷)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: monsta

2. Phone call: my friend

3. Text message: "why are you taking the birds??”

4. Song you listened to: married to the music - shinee

5. Time you cried: this is embarrassing but last night a tear fell out of my eye as i was looking at kihyun pics

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: i guess

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: do not...... eat oreos...... after getting very drunk (you will throw up blackness)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: green, blue, pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes everyone on tumblr 🌷💕

16. Fallen out of love: i doubt it

17. Laughed until you cried: most likely

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. Met someone who changed you: @moonbebe (for the worse probably)

20. Found out who your friends are: idk dude

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: fml

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them

23. Do you have any pets: i have leo my kit, i have rosie my doog, i have mango and peach my boods and i have a fat fish named oscar

24. Do you want to change your name: yeah kind of, i hate my name for some reason

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: probably sat in my room alone playing ps1 i usually do that

26. What time did you wake up: like 1:30pm lol rop

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i’m pretty sure i was making thos bomb ass gifsets

28. Name something you can’t wait for: me and kihyuns inevitable wedding

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about 2 months ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ill be typing forever ha

31. What are you listening right now: love sick by shinee 🌈 (you can tell what album im listening to during this lfmao)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes???

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ppl who think veganism is wrong (lmgao die??)

34. Most visited Website: probably tumblr lolol or youtube

35. Mole/s: one on each side of my face, a few on each arm, and one big boi on the side of my left leg... and one next to my left nip lol (its cute)

36. Mark/s: i think the most interesting is the scar in my eyebrow????? i like to tell ppl this story because a lot of people assume i just cut my brow like that to look edgy (like no binch i am edgy naturally).. basically when i was a small child i was in me and my brothers bomb ass games room and i tripped over the nintendo controller cord he was holding, and my face fell onto plastic train tracks on the ground and it cut my eyebrow in half

37. Childhood dream: idk?? probably wanted to be a vet or some shit

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: its like medium length now

40. Do you have a crush on someone: k-kihyun

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyebrows are nice??? thats about it

42. Piercings: both ears are stretched, and then i have a conch in my right ear (i used to have more but i fucked up)

43. Bloodtype: O+ lol im a basic bitch

44. Nickname: idk but @moonbebe calls me ashl

45. Relationship status: kihyun

46. Zodiac: saggittarius (and so is my boi)

47. Pronouns: she & her

48. Favorite TV Show: dragon ball z

49. Tattoos: nope but i want some

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: nope

52. Piercing: yeah wtf this already got answered

53. Sport: no thanks no thanks

55. Vacation: is this asking me if im on one or if ive been on one or if im going on one or ?????

56. Pair of trainers: are trainers sporty shoes? idk

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: no im not eating rn???? what is this q

58. Drinking: no???

59. I’m about to: eat soup and watch the next 2 episodes of lookout (kashdhasdsafd my boi kibum)

61. Waiting for: death

62. Want: death

63. Get married: yes me and kihyun have decided yes

64. Career: death

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses pls kihyun

66. Lips or eyes: eyes probably but idk both good

67. Shorter or taller: taller (please im an amazon woman)

68. Older or younger: older i guess

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach and by stomach i mean a pudgy cute lil tum!!!!

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive but a balance of both is nice

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: i like me a bad boi but i also like me a good boi so???

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: idk what this is but maybe

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: yes eek

78. Sex in the first date: no

79. Broken someones heart: yes lmao hahhaha

80. Had your heart broken: i guess but teen years dont count anymore

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: no

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss in the first date: if its kihyun

89. Angels: no (wow i really am a skeptic)

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: elou

91. Eyecolor: light brown (it looks gold in some lights)

92. Favorite movie: look idk this is a hard one

ok done!!! that was a long one but it was fun!! so i understand if you don’t wanna do this, but i’m gonna tag @moonbebe @limechangkyun (focus on ur exams bith) @chaerismatic @kihyunswife @wonhosflower @m0nst4x @supersaiyum @smol-kihyuns @ukihyunnie @c-kyunjpg @amorjeon @kihynh @baeker @jiminieji 🌼🌷🌹🌻

sorry if i’m like always tagging the same ppl?????? so i tagged a few newer mutuals 💜💜💜

ignore this if you dont wanna do it !!!!!

#i luv u guys #tagged in

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minniesugakookies · 7 years

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RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @nottodaygot7 ♥︎

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone Call: My best frien, Jordyn

3. Text Message: ‘mmm purple’ to my mom

4. Song you listened to: Life is worth living by Justin Beiber

5. Time you cried: I think it was when I was listening to So Far Away with JK and Jin

6. Dated someone twice: I’ve barely dated anyone so no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yup, terrible first kiss

8. Been cheated on: Again, never really been in a relationship

9. Lost someone special: No

10. Been depressed: The last time I was depressed was maybe a year ago, still sort of am hahah.... okay

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’m a child of the l o r d who does not drink so no (im not actually religious lets just clarify that)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. Navy blue, idek this is hard omg he l p UM CREAM ????? thats all I got

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Ehhhhhh

16. Fallen out of love: um no...?

17. Laughed until you cried: e v e r y fucking d a y

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean I never found out but they probably are juST SAYING

19. Met someone who changed you: Bts????? never met them tho but damn did they change me 😂

20. Found out who your friends were: nope, sadly

21. Kissed someone on your fb list: tf is an fb list ????? facebook????? If thats what it is then no cause i dont have facebook

GENERAL:

22. How many of your fb friends do you know in real life: A g a i n, d on t have facebook

23. Do you have any pets: Yup, dog and a cat

24. Do you want to change your name: ummm not really, I dont really care about it anymore

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went out for supper, and then went to an arcade because im a literal child

26. What time did you wake up: Around 7 because I went on a run

27: Name something you can’t for: The day I die jk lol no im not no im actually kidding but I’m waiting for my last final to be over

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping cause im a grandma

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 20 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My friends

31. What are you listening to right now: Nothing

32. Have you talking to a person named Tom: lol no

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: nothing atm

34. Most viewed website: Here 😂 im trash

35. Mole/s: I have a lot on my arms but I have like three big(?) ones, one on my cheek and another sort of on my tricep and the last one is on mah back

36. Mark/s: I have l o t s of scars from as a child and stuff

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a singer or dancer

38. Hair colour: I really hate my hair colour right now, its like a light brown/blonde

39. Long or short hair: Its like a little bit past my shoulders

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes

41. What do you like about yourself: uh, my dedication to bts

42. Piercings: I have 5 ear piercings and I will soon get a lip piercing

43. Bloodtype: I think AB+

44. Nickname: Meg, or meggy

45. Relationship status: Pringle (single) 😂

46. Zodiac: Taurus

47. Pronuns: She/Her

48. Favourite tv show: I don’t really watch tv that often

49. Tattoos: none but I realllllly want one

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: i dont think so...

52. Sports: um swimming and volleyball mostly

53. Piercing: ????????

54. apparently it was missing (????)

55. Vacation: oooo I want to go to London or Europe

56. Pair of trainers: Converse

MORE GERNEAL:

57. Eating: I like fruit, and meat

58. Drinking: VODKA KNOW WHAT IM SAYING jk water

59. About to: Eat maybe go play some video games

60. also missing (???????) g e e z people

61. Want for: school to be O V E R

62. Want: food, maybe a hug

63. Get married: Once I find the right man for the job

64. Career: lol idek

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both

66. Lips or eyes: Both

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: Older

69 (hehe 69): m i s s i ng

70: Nice arms or nice stomach: I mean, I nice balance would be nice haha

71: Sensitive or loud: mmm both

72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: I can barely talk to a person so no

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I think I’ve lost a pair of glasses before

77. Turned someone down: Probably

78. Sex on the first date: Where is my bible

79. Broken someone heart: not that I know of

80. Had your heart broken: not by a person I liked but yes

81. Been arested: nooope

82. Cried when someone died: not someone but a something

83. Fallen for a friend: almost have, almost

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: (magic)

84. In yourself: bitch??????? hah no, i mean maybe

85. Miracles: not really

86. Love at first sight: on and off

87. Santa Claus: nope

88. Kissing on the first date: maybe on the cheek

89. Angels: ehh sort of

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Sarah and Jordyn Tumblr Friends: Donnabelle and Jenelle (I dont have many pls befriend me)

91. Eye colour: This weird blue and green (maybe even some yellow in there, my friends have told me)

92. Favourite movie: In time

This was really fcking long j e s u s, I had fun though. I tag @smol-tae

#tag #tagged

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kidcl0wn · 7 years

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abc tag!!

ok so i’ve been tagged by by my fav vampire @bangtanbrochachos to do the abc tag so here i am!!!

a/ age: 13, turning 14 in may🌸

b/ biggest fear: im not scared of heights, but tall bridges with roads underneath them scare the loving shit outta me

c/ current time: 7:13pm

d/ drink you last had: healthy wottah

e/ every day starts with: me waking up confused as to how i was asleep bc i thought i was awake but was actually awake in my dream and not irl and then me trying to remember what i was dreaming about

f/ favorite song: atm it’s kids dont wanna come home by declan (forgot his last name) and fxxk it by big bang

g/ ghosts?: are really cool, im gonna be a super chill ghost who bakes cakes for sad people

h/ hometown: mysore, karnataka. it used to be a beautiful place but they cut down a lotta trees :( oh and i have a dog back there, his name is charlie and he’s dumb but i love him

i/ in love with: everyone in got7 help me,,also my beautiful girlfriend shaz💙

j/ jealous of: people who are talented at anything,,,i constantly wish i had some kinda talent that could make my dad proud to call me his daughter

k/ killed someone: yeah my will to live

l/ last time you cried: when i saw the got7 teaser and got emotional about jinyoung’s acting or when my friend changed my contact name to dabdab,,actually geniunly cried the night before my arabic exam lol

m/ middle name: don’t have one~

n/ number of siblings: im an only child~

o/ one wish: that everyone could be a goddamn nice person and no one fought over the stupidest of things man, world harmony pls

p/ last person i texted: iulia, she’s a blood sucking county woman is2g help her someone

q/ question you’re always asked: “...what the fuck?/what?/why????”

r/ reason to smile: every group i stan & my gf + hella great frens

s/ song i last sang: fxxk it by big bang

t/ time you woke up: 4:10am

u/ underwear: blue !

v/ vacation: greece (im going in 8 days!!) and i’d love to go to japan!

w/ worst habit: i get easily distracted and overthink everything

y/ your favorite food: pizza, nachos, hALLOUMI BURGERS, this thing that my mum makes called roti but it’s like not a roti so idk wtf it is but its gOOD REAL GOOd, oh and ofc cheesecake

z/ zodiac: taurus !!

uHHHH Now i have to tag someone but i know like one person on this website so if you somehow found this then i tag YOU, k bye now

#abc tag #there u go iulia #i did it

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