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svtxsoju · 4 years

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01. crush that hangover! | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is! ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Pairings TBA! ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, underage drinking, mentions of sex, language, bad jokes ღ Word Count: 5.0k words ღ Binu’s Note: ever stare at a selfie so long that it looks weird? ya that’s this chapter for me. there were just so many elements that i wanted to get right, but i kept changing things and now i can’t look at it anymore :c i’ll properly proofread it later, but for now enjoy!! i have some other content ima post later so i’m p excited for that hehehe anyway ya happy friday!!!

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Disclaimer ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Monday, September 2, 2019 9:05AM

This was not how Joohyun had imagined her first day at The Front. Whenever she described this moment to Jihoon, she was very clear about the way she would walk in so confidently that the senior writers would wonder why they forgot to email her an invite to their 8:30 meeting. Jihoon, who relished in raining on her parade, predicted that they wouldn’t even know her name. But she had no time for his blunt realism, because she had been living as a made-up person since June and her corporate daydreams were the only things keeping her sane. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but she figured that once they saw her talent, everything would be just fine.

So it’s not difficult to imagine Joohyun’s distress when she just barely stumbled into the office this morning, nursing a mind-melting hangover.

She should have known she would be a goner when the sports section interns had challenged her to a drinking game at last night’s welcome party. Her drinking partner, a small girl interning at HR, had only made it two shots in before falling asleep on her lap. For the record, she had still made sure that she was the last intern standing (although she definitely wasn’t the same bright-eyed freshman that could chug a pitcher of soju and beer just to spite Jihoon). Looking around the office, she felt a little relieved to find that the other interns were suffering just as much as her, if their slumped positions and pained groans told her anything. So much for giving a good first impression.

Joohyun was trying her best not to look like she was two steps from an early grave when she was approached by a big woman with a laptop in her arms. She awkwardly bowed her head to greet her, but the woman’s gaze never left the screen of her Macbook. “Miss… Joonyoung?”

“Oh, that’s not--”

“You’re the new advice column intern, correct?”

“Oh. Yes, that’s me, but that’s not my--”

“I’ll show you to your desk.” Without so much as a glance, the woman turned on her heel, now typing furiously on her laptop. Joohyun followed behind glumly.

This was all Jihoon’s fault.

“So, how’s your first day going?” Jihoon asked over his bowl of ramen. He flagged down the tall waiter and ordered a bowl of rice.

“Fine,” was Joohyun’s curt answer. In truth, it was far from ideal. She had watched longingly as all the other interns were assigned with their first projects, while she was left with an empty inbox. How was she supposed to write an advice column when there was no one asking her for advice? She spent most of the morning familiarizing herself with the previous entries of The Front’s dating advice column, the most recent of which dated to the newspaper’s May issue… from 1997.

When her supervisor told her to take a lunch break, she had made a beeline to meet Jihoon at the restaurant near the cafe he worked at. Now that she was sitting in front of him though, she wasn’t quite ready to confess that her dream job was much more mundane than she expected. “Hey, wasn’t this a fried chicken shop last semester?”

“That bad, huh?” Jihoon clicked his tongue. Joohyun sighed - she didn’t know why she even tried to hide anything from him when he’s known her for 12 years. He probably knew some parts of her better than she did. “Come on Joo, don’t give up on Miss Soju so easily. It’s just because you’re a little hungover. We watched The Notebook like five times this summer! What more do you need to know about true love? Do you want me to set you up on another date with that freakishly tall dude for more hands-on experience? Ah, speak of the devil!”

“Thanks, Mingyu.” Joohyun took the bowl of rice and gave the server a sweet smile, which greatly contrasted with the glare she shot at Jihoon soon after. The server, a stunning boy with jet-black hair and tanned skin, stuck his tongue out at Jihoon. She waited until Mingyu went to the other side of the restaurant to serve a rowdy group of boys to whisper-shout at Jihoon. “Can you try not to expose my identity to the whole campus before I even get the chance to write my first ever entry?”

“Ohhh, that’s why you’re sulking. No one’s sent you a letter yet so you didn’t get to do anything today,” Jihoon said. It sometimes got annoying how he could read her like she was his worn-out copy of his favorite sports manga. She had to admit though, he did find ways to make it worth it. Like when he said, “I might actually be able to help you with that one, if you want. I can make a little shout out for Miss Soju on my stream tonight. For a small price, of course.”

“You’re streaming tonight?” The girl perked up from poking at her noodles. Over the past three years, Jihoon had built up a cult following through Woozi’s Universe, a Twitch stream where he shared music made by the underground artists on campus (including him). He only ever released new music on Mondays, so tonight would definitely have a large viewership. Joohyun immediately went into her business pose lest she show how eager she really was. “Well, what would you like in exchange, Mr. Lee?”

“I merely request that you pay for my lunch today, Ms. So,” he replied. Joohyun looked in horror at Jihoon, a petite man who ate like he was three boys going through puberty; today alone he had had an extra-large bowl of ramen, three orders of rice, and two cans of Coke.

Then, she imagined facing an empty inbox for the rest of the week. Yup, this was definitely worth it. That didn’t stop her from making a show of taking out her wallet, taking care to sigh extra loudly. She had to give Jihoon his moment to revel in his triumphs, otherwise he would get grumpy.

Jihoon cackled giddily. “Pleasure doing business with you as always, Ms. So.”

“Pretty sure my hangover is coming back.”

“Oh shit, shut up!” Jihoon suddenly yelped and ducked underneath the table.

“What the hell, Jih--”

“No, don’t say my name! He might hear you and then I’ll have to talk to him,” Jihoon whispered, jerking his head towards a bright yellow blur skipping to the back of the restaurant. “He’s one of my fans. He found out I worked at the cafe and now he keeps coming in to talk to about how sad his sex life is.”

Joohyun pursed her lips and peeked a glance over. He had joined the table of rowdy boys. “Hmm, maybe I should say hi... he seems like a potential Miss Soju reader.”

“Just pay the check already, woman!”

The new interns at The Front were not the only students sporting hangovers that day. This can only be expected of the second week back at MU. Sunday night had been the explosive finale of a full week of department welcome parties, happy reunions, and lots and lots of alcohol. Some of the incoming freshmen were convinced that Mansae University was not actually a school, but a training ground for surviving as many shots of soju as physically possible. That is until they woke up on Monday morning and still had to drag themselves to their 9AM’s, suddenly faced with the reality of what college really was: an endless cycle of perpetual hangovers and school work that’s due way too soon.

This was all good news for the new ramen shop on campus, which had been serving the hoards of hungover zombies since 10AM. Vernon, who was in great pain from the night before, had been ambushed by his roommate after his morning class. He was brought to the restaurant under the pretense of curing his woes with a bowl of warm soup and noodles. When he caught sight of a man in red waiting for them at a back table though, he immediately knew what was actually coming.

“Hello Vernonnie,” Seungcheol greeted him with a sly smile. “Care to take a seat next to me?”

“Uh, not really,” Vernon mumbled, but he sat down anyway. He scrunched his nose at his roommate as the boy slumped into the seat in front of him. “Traitor.”

“Sorry babe, Seungcheol hyung promised me free lunch. Also, you’re one to talk, after you abandoned me to fend for myself last night--! Ugh,” his roommate, Seungkwan, clutched at his head, where a rusty hammer persistently tapped away at his temple. “Hyung, why did you do this to me? My face is gonna be bloated for the rest of the week. I have an audition in two days, you know!”

“Hey, I did ask you if you were sure you wanted-- what was that you ordered? Oh yeah-- ‘the strongest drink that is legal to serve in South Korea’!” Seungcheol said, his eyes wide. As he got more defensive, he began to point his finger excessively at Seungkwan. “And what was it all for? To impress your new crush?”

“I am way too hungover to get lectured by a couple of hypocrites,” Seungkwan grumbled. “I was trying to get some inspiration, you know, a drunken spark of genius! How else am I supposed to figure out how to confess to them?”

“Okay, I wasn’t actually asking,” Seungcheol ignored Seungkwan’s offended gasp in favor of turning his attention to a fidgeting Vernon. His cherry red lips now returned to its wide grin. “I am here to discuss where our dearest Vernon went off to last night.”

“Um.” Vernon answered with a nervous smile. “I just went home early--”

“Bullshit!” Seungkwan looked absolutely scandalized. “It wasn’t enough to abandon me, so now you’re lying too? I don’t know if I can take much more of this!”

Vernon had only officially known Seungkwan for two whole weeks, but with the way the two had been inseparable since move-in day, everyone at the freshmen dorms had assumed that they had known each other for years and years. He knew that someone like Boo Seungkwan was a rare find as far as random dorm assignments went, and that not everyone was so lucky to have a roommate that reminds them to eat real food once in a while or a friend who’s willing to take care of them when they get their first real hangover. Just for that day alone, Vernon knew that Seungkwan deserved to know where he went. Plus he shared a room with him, so it’s not like he could hide anything anyway.

Seungcheol shook his head and slung an arm around Vernon’s shoulder. His grip wasn’t tight but firm enough that Vernon knew he was trapped there until he confessed the truth. “Look, I don’t need any details! I just wanted to make sure that you’re staying safe and all that junk. Also, I would like to know what base you got to.” He erupted into a fit of giggles, but soon cleared his throat to return to his investigation. “Really though, tell us what happened.”

It wasn’t like Vernon didn’t want to tell Seungcheol either. Vernon’s and Seungcheol’s families had known each other since the two boys were in middle and high school, and when he found out that Seungcheol would be a senior at Mansae University that year, he felt some of his nerves ease up about moving out. Seungcheol had always been like an older brother to him, and was always there when he needed his help in high school. He trusted him!

That’s probably why he subconsciously blamed Seungcheol for the pain he was going through at the moment. When the upperclassman had offered to sneak Vernon and Seungkwan into a party at the karaoke bar that he bartended at, the two freshmen all too eagerly accepted without thinking of any consequences. They had received no pointers, no words of caution. How were they supposed to know that bar parties were completely different from welcome dinners? And how was Seungkwan supposed to know that downing so many cocktails within the hour wasn’t a good idea? Most importantly, how was Vernon supposed to know that he would meet someone like her there? Vernon groaned into his hands as he could no longer resist the flood of memories from the night before, and leaned into Seungcheol’s shoulder as he tried to recoil from his past self. “Hyung, it hurts too much to say out loud.”

“It’s okay buddy, take your time,” Seungcheol patted his head gently and called the tall server over. Vernon continued to let out unintelligible noises of regret while the senior ordered bowls for all three of them. “How are you even hungover right now? I only remember giving you one drink last night before you went off with--”

“I’m not hungover.”

“Oh. Then what are you?”

“An idiot,” Vernon mumbled through his fingers. “A big, cringy idiot.”

Seungkwan raised his hand, looking frantically between the two boys. “Excuse me? Did I miss the reading homework? Went off with who? Last night? What? How drunk was I?!”

“Very drunk, but that’s not why you didn’t notice Vernon’s new friend. You were a little occupied with your own conquest,” Seungcheol stage-whispered from across the table. “Honestly, you two are wild. It’s only two weeks into fall semester and you’re already out here simping.”

“Um, and? I saw you making googly eyes at several ladies last night!” The higher Seungkwan’s voice rose, the harder the rusty hammer banged inside his head. “Ow.”

“Those were just my friends who happened to be ladies! Sorry that my eyes are just naturally soft and alluring,” Seungcheol said, batting his long, dark lashes at the boy. “What were her eyes like, Vernon? I only noticed that she had a nose ring. Couldn’t really see her properly while you two were ‘talking’ in the corner...”

“The corner! A nose ring!” Seungkwan repeated and clutched at his chest. “Tell me more.”

“We were just talking!” Vernon finally spoke, his face stuck in an embarrassed grimace. “There’s not really much more to tell. I just know that she’s the coolest girl I’ve ever met and I’ll never meet anyone like her again.”

“What! You two were talking for like two hours! And I saw you leaving with her!” Seungcheol said a little too loudly for Vernon’s liking. The server gingerly approached their table with their orders, setting the bowls down as quickly as possible before rushing away. Vernon noted to give him a big tip when they left. “Don’t tell us that’s all.”

“I just dropped her off at her apartment and went back to the dorms,” Vernon confirmed to Seungcheol’s horror. “I really didn’t want it to be just last night.”

“So... you asked her out?”

“No.”

“You got her number?”

“No.”

“Her Instagram? Her Twitter? Her student ID number? Do you even know her name?”

“I already said I was an idiot,” Vernon whined. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to talk about it. But yes, I did at least get her name.”

It was the only thing he could think of since he woke up. She was the only thing he could think of since he woke up. The way her eyes had lit up while they talked about her major. The way her lips had curved into a clever smile when she told a joke. The way her small hand had fit in his as they walked to her apartment. Then, he would remember how he completely fucked it all up before he started, and his headache would return full-force.

“Dude.” Seungcheol fixed him with a stern stare, but it was kind of hard to take him seriously when his mouth was full of noodles. “Have you never asked a girl out before?”

“You know I have! I don’t know what happened either, okay? I guess I just froze up when she looked at me… then I just went home after telling her good night.”

Seungcheol feigned a gag. “Gross. I was joking earlier, but you’re an actual simp. Hate to break it to you like this.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Seungkwan piped up from where he comfortably rested his head on the table.

“That’s nice, Seungkwan, but ‘sweet’ isn’t gonna get either of you laid,” Seungcheol chuckled. “Vernon, your girl was clearly waiting for you to make the next move. Trust me, girls don’t just ask anyone to walk them home.”

“I didn’t want to look like a creep!” Vernon sullenly stared down at his untouched bowl of noodles. “What am I supposed to do now, hyung?”

“Yeah, lend us your wisdom, O Alluring One,” Seungkwan chanted. “You clearly have plenty of experience from the past three years.

“Like I said, I just have a lot of friends,” Seungcheol shrugged, then suddenly checked the time on his phone. “Oh shit-- speaking of friends, I have to meet one for a study session at her apartment in 15 minutes.”

“Sounds nasty.”

“Your mom’s nasty,” Seungcheol retorted with a provocative smile. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Boo! Then maybe you’d be able to think of how to confess.”

“Uncalled for!”

He placed several bills on the table and checked his phone again. “This should be enough to cover lunch, kiddos. I wish I could help you two, but I’m booked for the rest of the day. And the week.”

“But what if I meet her again?” Vernon asked desperately.

“Then text me! I might not reply right away though. I’ve got two classes later and then I have dinner plans--”

“Another girl I presume--”

“Shut up! I also have to go to the gym before doing… uh, doing a thing. And then I have a shift at 24H.” Seungcheol stood up and looked at the distressed boys before him, his soft eyes more affectionate than alluring. Was he like this as a freshman? He reached over to ruffle the freshmans' heads. “You two should probably leave soon, too. I’ll see y’all later!”

And just like that, Seungcheol was gone, and Vernon was once again left without any advice from the senior. Vernon was never one for dramatics, but his personal failures felt like a gray cloud of shame hanging over him. He began to worry that he was just gonna have to live like this forever, because nothing in the world was bright enough to break through his doom and gloom (well, her smile probably could, but Vernon was never going to see that again). The fact that Seungkwan seemed like he was about to Train to Busan his ass any minute now didn’t really lift his spirits either.

Lucky for him, the universe was not going to let him give up so easily. At that moment, a boy with glaringly yellow hair and a heavy camera on his shoulder bursted through the entrance. His smile brightened when he spotted the two boys in the back and he didn’t hesitate to bound towards them, skipping right past the server welcoming him in. “Seungkwan! I knew I’d find you here.”

“Dearest Vernon, it seems we have been joined by the lovely Soonyoung hyung. Perhaps he might know the medicine we require to ease our ailments in love,” Seungkwan suddenly stood up, all signs of his hangover expertly hidden. He smiled directly into the camera lens. “Hyung, would you kindly share your wisdom with us lowly freshmen? Pray tell, how does one woo the object of their affection?”

Vernon, who was well-acquainted with Seungkwan’s antics by then, watched on in silent amusement. If anything could distract him from his internal turmoil for a moment, it was Seungkwan; even if he was just spewing nonsense. What really made him crack up though, was the way Soonyoung (that was his name, right?) was clearly trying very hard to suppress his giggles. “Um,” Soonyoung managed to cut in breathlessly. “You know I’m not rolling, right? Also, I didn’t understand any of the words that just left your mouth, but it definitely felt like you were putting some sort of ancient curse on me. Hi, I’m Soonyoung by the way!”

Vernon introduced himself and shook Soonyoung’s hand. Seungkwan could only sigh in exasperation at Soonyoung’s lack of culture (not that he was surprised of course). The boy apparently thought it was a good fashion choice to leave his apartment wearing a tiger print button-up. “I was asking if you could help us out with confessing to our crushes,” Seungkwan said with a roll of his eyes.

“Ohh, that’s what you said!” Soonyoung laughed until he was keeled over, clutching his stomach. Vernon and Seungkwan could only watch him with great expectation. When the boy finally caught his breath and wiped the sweat from his brow, he gave the boys a very serious look. “Yeah, I haven’t gotten any since January. So you should probably ask someone else.”

This also did not surprise Seungkwan.

“Excuse me?” The tall server approached them again, clearly giving them his best ‘I hate working in retail’ smile. “If y’all are done eating, could you please leave? You’re disturbing the other customers.”

“I’m eating, I’m eating!” Soonyoung smiled until his cheeks reached his eyes, a power move that he saves for occasions where he found himself in trouble, which happened more often than he’d care to admit. Once the server let them be, muttering something about not getting paid enough, Soonyoung turned his killing smile onto the two boys. “Can I have some of this? I can Venmo y’all later, I’m pretty broke right now.”

Vernon pushed his uneaten ramen towards Soonyoung, who looked at him as if he was the sun itself. The boy carefully set down his film camera and immediately began slurping away. Vernon nodded his head towards the contraption and asked why he was carrying it around.

“Oh, I rented it before coming to find Seungkwan. I’m thinking about making him the subject of my film project this semester, since the theater program is pretty buzzed that he’s joining this year!” Soonyoung patted the camera affectionately.

“‘Thinking about?’ I thought I was your final choice!” Seungkwan blurted. The ramen he had for lunch seemed to have finally restored some of his strength, because he no longer clutched at his temple when his voice rose.

“I said ‘most likely’ choice! I just want to keep my options open,” Soonyoung responded with great care. He didn’t want to hurt Seungkwan’s feelings, but he was definitely re-evaluating alternate subjects at the moment. “It’s only the second week!”

“This is why you’re single,” the theater major said in a huff. “Lack of commitment!”

“Hey! I am perfectly capable of commitment. It’s the girls that don’t want to commit, ” Soonyoung said in a small voice, and looked off into the distance wistfully. “I really hope Woozi does put out a new song tonight. Maybe he’ll tweet something soon.”

“Woozi? Who’s that?” Vernon asked. At this point, he was just looking for anything that would fend off his memories, which lingered at the edges of his mind and waited for moments of silence to bring him another fresh glass of cringe. He was pretty sure that he had experienced well above the recommended daily serving.

“Oh, he’s a Twitch streamer from MU! I was actually gonna say if you two are really struggling in the love department, you should definitely check out his stream tonight.” Soonyoung nearly wiggled with enthusiasm. “He usually promotes songs from artists around the area, but his self-composed songs are my personal favorites. They’ve been what’s getting me through this dry spell, honestly.”

“Oh, that sounds pretty cool.” It sounded like it was right up Vernon’s alley, actually.

Soonyoung nodded. “You listen to them and you just feel hopeful to find the kind of love he sings about. I’ll send you the link later!”

“Underground artists? No thanks, I think I’ll stick to Eva Noblezada,” Seungkwan scoffed. “I don’t really think a stranger can help me with my problems. They don’t even know me.”

“Oh come on, Kwan. Let’s just give it a shot!”

Even after all his grumbling, Seungkwan still sat beside Vernon at one of the desks in their dorm later that night. They had opened the link Soonyoung had sent them, and munched on some snacks while they waited for the stream to start up. Vernon waited with baited breath for his distraction to begin; he had spent most of the day attempting to wall off any thoughts of her or last night, but it was kind of difficult to think of anything else when all of his professors only droned on and on about quizzes and homework.

When a boy with fair skin and burgundy hair came into frame, he nearly sighed in relief. The streamer appeared to be sitting in a small, dark office only illuminated by his computer screen and several pink neon signs that hung on the walls. Vernon could recognize the faint outlines of several guitars and a keyboard behind him. The boy clicked around for a while as more people joined the stream before finally waving into the camera.

“Hi guys, welcome in! Thanks for joining Woozi’s Universe. If you’re new here, I’m Woozi and I like to write songs sometimes. If you’re an old subscriber, I’m really sorry for the long wait. I’ve been working on a lot of projects, doing some collabs - I’ll actually be releasing one of those collabs tonight and I’m really excited for you guys to hear it. If you have any new songs you want to listen to together, go ahead and leave them in the chat!”

As soon as the stream started flowing, Vernon immediately knew why Soonyoung gave Woozi such rave reviews. The guy just had good vibes and he definitely knew his music. Vernon was hooked. Even Seungkwan, try as he might to look disinterested, couldn’t help bopping his head occasionally.

“Thanks for the subscription @chweinggum! You just helped me reach my tenth new sub for tonight, and you guys know what that means. Time for the new song! It was really fun to write this with my collaborator, so we really hope you like it!”

After spending the past hour just vibing in Woozi’s Universe, discovering new songs and artists, Vernon had really hyped himself up to hear the streamer’s personal work. If Soonyoung’s words were true, this would be the song that would truly heal his heartache, the song that would push him to forget about the whole ordeal. He listened in anticipation as pleasant harmonies played through his laptop speakers. But as the song progressed, Vernon did not quite feel the reprieve he was hoping for. In fact, he was kind of taken aback. The lyrics… felt like they told his story. Maybe not word for word, but enough to make Vernon stare at the laptop screen with his mouth open. What kind of hocus pocus, That’s So Raven, mind reading shit was this? The song broke down the walls he had tried to build throughout the day and left him vulnerable to its strangely upbeat and energetic tune.

He had to admit that he didn’t hate it. The cringe from his own actions did not disappear, but the song helped him focus more on the moments that made his heart flutter, the moments that incited those pesky butterflies in his stomach. They were the moments that made him so hard on himself in the first place and the reasons why it hurt so much that he messed up. She had made him feel seen. She had done everything right. And all he wanted to do was to show her that he saw her too. He just had to figure out how.

Woozi clapped his hands loudly when the song came to an end, bringing Vernon out of his deep reverie. “And that was Pretty U by yours truly! I collaborated on it with an artist who doesn’t want to be named as of now, so I’ll just say it was great to work with such a talented person and I hope to work with them again soon! Anyway, we know the lyrics are pretty cheesy, but let’s just say it’s based on a juvenile romance! I tried capturing that giddy feeling of liking someone and wanting to tell them pretty words but losing confidence at the last second. I’m sure we’ve all been there before.”

Vernon sat up, nodding his head as if Woozi could see him. After his song scanned his soul like that, Vernon figured it wasn’t impossible.

“I know that some of my subscribers listen to me because they go through these kinds of hardships. But I wanted to say that my songs can’t fix everything. Even I go through it sometimes and I need someone to lean on. There’s actually a new thing I just found out about from a friend - ‘Dear Miss Soju’. It’s a column that they’re gonna start publishing on The Front’s website, and you can anonymously write in all your burning questions about love, relationships, or sex. So if you’re having a hard time confessing like in this song, just know that there’s someone out there to help you out!

“Since you’ll be anonymous, you can write about your heart’s deepest desires, even if it’s a little freaky. Yes, I’m talking to you, user @callmesoon, please stop trying to tell me about your sex life. Anyway, I’ll put the email in the description for anyone that’s interested!” Woozi paused to laugh at several of the comments. “No guys, The Front does not sponsor me. But I can tell you about a company that does sponsor me. Hello Fresh--”

Seungkwan closed the laptop and sighed. “Well, that didn’t help me at all. Soonyoung hyung said this Woozi guy was gonna make me feel better, but now he’s just telling us to spilll all our secrets to some other stranger. What a scam! Right, Vernon? Vernon?”

By the time Seungkwan turned to look at his friend, Vernon was already writing his second draft for his email. The boy sighed again. Maybe he could give it a shot.

The next morning, Joohyun opened up her laptop to find thirteen emails in her inbox. She smiled.

Now she could get to work.

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dragonrajafanfiction · 4 years

Text

Scars Pt 3

While Meixiu finished her sale shopping online, Zihang sat at the desk in his office and opened his laptop. Although it was only six o’clock was already dark, it being late fall but he had plenty of energy. He opened the Nightwatcher forum.

He’d done his research. The surgery he was going to need was called “Scar Revision”. It was more correct than removal. At most, the scars could be reduced in visibility. But some of the before and after pictures were amazing. And those were without photoshopping.

Looking at the pictures, he knew which scars Meixiu had. The most noticeable ones were raised and dark, keloid scars. A few were light and dimpled. So the surgeon would have to be incredibly experienced in different kinds of scars to work on her.

He estimated that 20 years of experience would be the minimum he would accept. Someone who was currently practicing, and working every day with an expert nursing staff and team. Most important of all, he needed experience in her skin color.

By the time his request was finished, it was two paragraphs long.

The cursor blinked in the field for ‘Reward’.

He hesitated.

What would he give for Meixiu’s self-esteem? He imagined her back in her skimpy ballet costumes, spinning on stage in toeshoes. Walking along the beach in a bikini, the sun caressing her earth-tone skin into a deeper shade. Or perhaps in a sleeveless evening gown. Or a midriff baring tank top.

A smile was playing on his lips but then it disappeared. There was nothing he wouldn’t give for that. Money was inadequate. A favor? How could he possibly repay someone for fulfilling this request?

He curled his fist against his cheek. The cursor continued its patient blinking.

Finally, he typed. “One request a year, every year. For the rest of my life.”

He pressed post under his pen name, Murasame.

He sat back in his chair. His eyes drifted to their wedding photo. Her hair gathered into braids, bedecked in red velvet. She was a shining jewe to him. Many people wouldn’t appreciate her body, however, and that affected her.

His phone vibrated. He took one look at it and rolled his eyes. But beggars couldn’t be choosers.

He answered. “Yes?”

“Are you trying to get my attention?” A deep smooth voice answered him.

“No. I’m posting honestly.”

“Cosmetic surgery? You’re finally going to fix your face?”

Caesar’s jokes fell flat to him always. But this time it was especially annoying. “You know someone.”

“Well... of course, in my circles appearance is everything, but it’s not like you to care about such things. Did you fall into a vat of acid?”

"It's not for me."

"Not for you?" A pause. "Hm. You... It's not for Carli is it?"

"No."

"Oh good..."

"Her name is Meixiu."

"...you can't be serious."

Zihang was silent. The planets aligned more often than Caesar and he did. Of course, Meixiu's beauty was indisputable, so this would be something they could agree on.

"Are you out of your mind? A surgeon will just ruin her!"

"It's what she wants." He said, again, not disputing his words.

Caesar let out a sharp sigh. "I suppose it all comes from marrying a man who can't make her feel beautiful."

Caesar rarely struck at the heart of Zihang. The last time he did was a dispute over Erii. When Zihang defended the College's official position of locking away someone so powerful, Caesar argued on the basis of her sex, saying that he would never treat a woman that way. Not even if she was a dragon king.

The reference was obvious. Zihang's eyes ignited in golden light, and for a moment, it seemed like he would incinerate Caesar where he stood. But in the end the light left his eyes, smothered by sorrow.

This was another win for Caesar.

Zihang hung his head in shame, his throat closing. He told her over and over that her scars were fine. But he'd failed to convince her.

Caesar was merciless. His cold voice dripped with contempt. "Nothing to say? Am I to take your silence as an admission of guilt? Heh. You really are pathetic. I'll consider helping you. But I'll have to think it over."

He hung up.

Zihang sighed and rested his forehead against his hand. Make Meixiu feel beautiful. He didn't know how? But did he really try?

"Zihang?"

Meixiu stood in the doorway of his office, one hand curled against her chest. Her wide doe eyes regarded him with so much concern. She had never stopped apologizing since they got home. She felt that she upset him.

That wasn't it at all.

He lowered his hand from his face and beckoned her over.

She approached sheepish. "I made you some snacks in the kitchen... In case you were hungry."

When she got close enough, he curled one muscular arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap.

"Oh!" Her dark cheeks flushed.

The tip of a larger scar was visible below her collar bone. It travelled down the middle of her chest under her shirt. He lightly ran his finger down and leaned forward to kiss her soft lips.

He pressed his hand against her back, holding her steady so she could relax into it. She was so sensitive and reactive, her mouth opened for him to explore willingly.

But that's not what he was after.

He pulled away.

She followed him, her eyes fierce and hungry. But he lowered his head to kiss the scars on her shoulder, pulling her shirt sleeve to reveal them. The chest wound she'd received at the Red Well. The shoulder scar was his doing, when, in the throes of Blood Rage, he'd bitten her.

Her fingers clawed at his back and her breath came quicker. There was no going back now. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom where he spent this time focusing on her scars, drawing his touch along them in soft loving strokes.

He knew every one as if they were his own, he didn't have to see them. His hands wandered their trails on her body, recalling where she’d received each one, a record of her life struggle.

"Meixiu..." He broke yet another kiss, looking down at her blissful face

"Mmm?" Her eyes opened slightly. They were unfocused, deep and unusually dark. Her mind was on cloud-nine. She spoke as though dreaming or hypnotized.

"I have scars too. Do you think they're ugly?"

She let out a strained laugh. "Are you punishing me?"

He wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her hand towards his side where a scar marked an old injury.

"No." Her whole body trembled. She whimpered as though pleading for mercy.

"Then why...?"

"Oh God," she gasped, "This is punishment. How could you do this to me?"

"Please answer." His eyes gazed into hers, watching her struggle to form a coherent thought.

"It's different for guys. Scars are sexy." She smirked, running her fingers down his back.

"Is that so?" He hadn't thought there might be a double standard.

"Can we not talk about this now," She lifted herself up, feathering her lips against his chin.

If what she said was true - and she never lied when she was aroused - then his point was lost anyway. He would have to find some other way. "Alright."

#Dragon Raja #Fanfiction #Writing #Chu Zihang

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mattzerella-sticks · 5 years

Text

Choices

Rebecca has a choice to make, and it'll all come out on Valentine's Day. However what happens when, on the night of her and Greg's date, two of her suitors drink a little too much and wind up entangled in something more than rivals would. Will this complicates matters further? What would happen now if Rebecca chose either one of them? And what about the songs?

(Link to fic)

Nathaniel whines, a pitiful sound at the back of his throat. The sunlight hits his eyes in an unforgiving attempt to wake him from unconsciousness. He stirs dejectedly, grumbling all the while. His mind slowly climbs out of the pit of drunkenness it dug for itself the night before. Piecing together what happened after that first glass of wine, how he ended up back in his apartment; the reel of his memories rewinds over and over again as the lens that captured them was too blurry in the later parts of the evening.

The familiar groaning next to him gives him a helpful hint as to what he forgot. Josh rolls over, arm tossed casually over his waist. He breathes deep and sighs, squeezing him tight. Nathaniel’s heart flutters, his skin tinted red in embarrassment. Josh presses against him harder. “So warm…”

“Josh,” Nathaniel squeaks, voice strangled by the intimacy, “Josh – wake up!”

He blinks his eyes open, lifting his head from off the pillow to squint at Nathaniel. Once Josh realizes who’s in bed next to him, his eyes widen and he pushes back so violently he lands in a heap on the floor, tangled in the blankets. Scrambling into a sitting position, Josh leans on the bed to meet Nathaniel’s stare again. “What are you doing in my bed?”

Nathaniel scowls, glaring. “We’re in my bed.”

“Oh,” Josh nods, “Gotcha.” He resumes his staring. “What am I doing in your bed?”

“If I knew, this wouldn’t have happened.” Nathaniel sits up, kneading a palm into his aching eyes. “Last I remember we were at the wine bar –“

“Talking about different ways Greg could die,” Josh says, “You said something about a train and… that’s all I remember.”

“How much did we have to drink?”

“A lot.” Josh quiets, then, shifting his gaze to his hands. “Hey,” he starts, “do you think we…”

He rolls his eyes. “No, when people get drunk and naked they almost never have sex.” Josh makes a thoughtful sound, and Nathaniel bites back a curse. “I think it’s safe to say something happened.”

Josh thins his mouth into a firm line. “So if we… well, you know… who put what in who?”

Nathaniel goes to get up, but a pressure in his lower back has him sinking back into his mattress. “…I don’t think we can know for sure…”

“Figures, what with the whole ‘no memory of anything happening’,” Josh shrugs, “Have you ever done something like this?”

“Drunk sex or sex with a man?”

“The second one.”

“No,” Nathaniel shook his head, regretting it as his throbbing headache exacerbated itself, “Never really had the opportunity what with school and girls and money. Besides, if I were to ever do it with another guy it’d have to be somebody who looks as good as I do and, well… that’s hard to find.”

Josh grins, blushing. “Aww, you think I’m as attractive as you? That’s sweet.”

Nathaniel strikes down the urge to tear Josh down, fists clenching around his sheets. He takes a deep breath, and asks a question of his own. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you ever done it… with a man.”

“Well, a few times,” Josh tells him – surprising Nathaniel – but he quickly tacks on, “But it didn’t really mean anything!”

“It didn’t?”

“No,” Josh explains, “When I was working at that bachelorette party bar –“ “Gay bar,” Nathaniel corrects him.

“All these guys would compliment me during my breaks and say nice things about my dancing… they made me feel special so I thought I’d return the favor.” He skews his head to the side, thinking, “Although there was this one guy who looked like that actor Manny Jacinto – I mean, how could I have not slept with him. It could have been him. He kept talking about his friend Kristen…” He gasps, “And I did kiss White Josh when he was questioning, but that was only a kiss – and I was helping a bro out.”

Nathaniel bites his lip, blocking a chuckle that echoes within the confines of his mouth. “So you’ve slept with men before.”

“Yes. Yes I have.”

They fall back into the silence, neither feeling the need to break it. Nathaniel stares at Josh, and he does the same. It’s strange how the longer they spend in each other’s company the more comfortable he becomes. After the realization faded, Nathaniel takes in his rival’s features. Josh is a handsome man, with a strong jaw, kissable lips, and eyes that are so warm and kind. It’s like he took all the elements of the perfect dog and combined them with the typical ‘Boy Next Door’ persona. There’s no question why Rebecca fell for Josh if she got a peek at his dimples.

Remembering Rebecca, Nathaniel’s mood deflates. He scrubs a hand down his face, “Shit…”

“What?”

“Rebecca.”

Josh’s expression must match his own, crestfallen and disappointed. “Oh no,” he says, slipping off the bed, “She’s supposed to be choosing one of us in a couple of days. If she found out…”

“She won’t find out,” Nathaniel says. At Josh’s hanging jaw, he continues. “I mean, she will… eventually. But I don’t think we should tell her now. After she picks one of us… then sure.”

He frowns. “So what? You’re going to tell her if she picks me?”

Nathaniel won’t admit the thought crossed his mind. But he swept it away just as quickly as it appeared. “No, if she picks you then you can tell her… and if she picks me –“

“Then you tell her,” Josh says, nodding, “That might work.”

“Yeah.”

“And, honestly, it’s Rebecca,” he says, “She’d probably find the idea of us doing it hot.”

Nathaniel hates that he agrees with him. “She might even ask us to do it again, but with her in the middle.” He freezes, embarrassment creeping back into his cherry cheeks. “Not that I’d – uh… that I’d do this again, with you. Drunken mistakes and I – um… I wouldn’t want to share Rebecca.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Josh says, “Drunken mistakes…”

His voice twinges with an odd quality Nathaniel can’t pin down in his post-inebriated state. Instead he steels his nerves and carefully lifts himself off his bed. The pain resurfaces, but not terrible enough to keep him bedridden. “I don’t think we should see each other again.”

“You really know how to speak to a guy, Nathaniel.”

“No I mean,” he sighs, “Not until Valentine’s Day. Minimize all this…” he gestures between them, “awkwardness.”

Josh takes a long time to give his answer. In that gap of uncertainty, Nathaniel watches as Josh pokes his tongue into his cheek. The skin bulges, and he glimpses a sloppier looking Josh pushing something else up against the inner lining of his cheek to make it bulge like that. He thinks unsexy thoughts, picturing his dead nanny’s ashes flying into his mouth, to will down the boner threatening to appear.

Finally, Josh answers him. “Sure.”

“Great,” he holds a hand out to Josh, still on the floor, “Shake on it?” Josh grabs it, each pump of their clasped hands charged with tension. Unfamiliar tension, that tugs at the loose threads hanging in Nathaniel’s mind. He doesn’t care for how much his worldview shifts, so he holds tight to Josh’s hand after they finished shaking and helps him stand.

A mistake, he comes to understand, after his heft was so forceful Josh stood and fell forward into Nathaniel’s chest. Like he was a stove, Josh flings himself away and keeps a healthy distance. Neither dare look below each other’s necks.

“Well,” Nathaniel says, “Maybe you should… go?”

Josh agrees. He moves about the room, collecting his discarding clothes and putting them on as he goes. When he stops, his jeans and shirt have been thrown on, jacket, shoes, underwear and socks in hand. He lingers, feet brushing together in worry. Nathaniel’s heart beats into overtime as his intrusive thought that says he looks adorable like that. “What?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” Josh blushes, scratching at his neck, “Usually when I have sex with someone I… kiss them goodbye.”

“Seriously?”

“The one time I didn’t I got into a car accident,” he tells him, “I feel like I need some good karma after this.”

Nathaniel rolls his eyes, arms hanging at his sides with his palms upwards. “Sure, fine, okay! Whatever gets you out of here faster.”

“Thanks,” Josh rushes out, stepping forward and back into Nathaniel’s space. He leans on his toes to reach his lips, his own pecking lightly at Nathaniel’s. After the first, small dip, Josh descends for a second, more meaningful embrace. This kiss tastes sweet, and has Nathaniel’s eyes fluttering shut. Josh pulls back, Nathaniel unconsciously following. He clears his throat, breaking Nathaniel from the spell. “I’ll, uh… I’ll just be going,” Josh says, spinning on his heel and over towards the door.

Slamming the door on his way out, Nathaniel mourns his exit. Working through his grief in seconds, Nathaniel compartmentalizes and sets his focus back onto Rebecca. Even if its intensity has shrunk in the few short hours it was off her.

She didn’t choose him. She didn’t choose Josh. The second thought makes the first go down easier, like orange juice in a glass of vodka. Maybe that’s why he ordered the screwdriver. Behind him the Valentine’s Day party rages on, everyone delighting in the outcome. Valencia squeals in glee, already planning to use her winnings to buy Beth the biggest ring. Another reason to celebrate – Valencia proposed to Beth, and she said yes. Happy couples abound.

He raises his glass. To Beth and Valencia. He tips it back and drains it in one sip. To Rebecca and Greg.

Someone slides onto the stool next to him. He spies Josh from the corner of his eyes, back stiff and fingers drumming against the bar. “Isn’t this a familiar sight,” he greets him, “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” he says, “Better than I thought I’d be. You?”

“Same, can’t complain.” And Nathaniel really can’t. Rebecca handled the messy situation perfectly in the best way, by performing a wondrous and beautiful ballad she wrote. In it, she explains how much she loved each of them in different ways and how they’ve all grown from meeting one another. It really brought things into perspective for him, and many others who the song wasn’t even about. Rebecca’s words spoke to everyone, even White Josh shed a tear during the performance. He can’t imagine what any of his friend’s live would be like if she hadn’t swept into West Covina like a tornado. “She’s going to go far, if her musical is anything like the song she wrote.”

“Yeah,” Josh nods, “Are you okay with her doing that? Basing it all about… us?”

“Well it’s not only us, it’s about her life and journey,” Nate shrugs, “Besides, it’ll make her happy. And that’s what tonight was all about – Rebecca making a choice that would lead her to happiness.”

“Yeah, happiness…” Josh drifts off into his own mind. Nathaniel orders them two glasses of wine, handing it over to him. Josh accepts it with a smile. “You know, even if I wasn’t picked… I’m glad that this is all over.”

“I agree,” Nathaniel says, “Closure. Like all the storylines that have followed us these past few seasons were wrapped up nicely. And by seasons, I mean the cyclical changes in weather that follow the year in a pattern.”

“No, yeah I got that, and I feel the same way,” Josh says, “And now that this is all over with I feel, I don’t know… free? To do the same, make the decision to be happy. Even if with someone that’s not Rebecca.”

“She’s an inspiration,” Nathaniel sighs, “but not the finish line. We’ve still got a few miles in our race before reaching that…”

“Maybe…”

Nathaniel looks over at Josh, watches as he stares into his half-filled wine glass. Swirling the plum nectar into a little vortex, biting at his lip. “Maybe?” he parrots him.

“It’s just…” Josh shrugs, “I kinda missed talking to you, these past few days. I didn’t realize how much I would until you… weren’t there.”

Nathaniel nods. He and Josh didn’t have the best start, and it took an uphill journey before they could exist in the same space. But once they got over that mountain things fell into place. Even in their battle for Rebecca, the rivalry hadn’t felt as heated. Their barbs weren’t as sharp and more like familiar bickering. Not having that presence by his side made everything seem dimmer.

“So, I don’t know…” Josh meets his gaze, smiling, “maybe we could meet up sometime and talk about happy endings?”

Nathaniel mimics Josh’s modest grin with his own, and slides his hand over Josh’s. “I’d like that.”

#Crazy Ex-Girlfriend #CEG #crazy ex gf #nathaniel plimpton iii #josh chan #rebecca bunch #nathaniel x josh #crazy ex girlfriend fanfic #CEG fanfic

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ladywinchester1967 · 6 years

Text

Off the Beaten Path I Reign:

Chapter 3: True

New Major Character: Sheriff Jody Mills.

Warnings: Language, **MENTION AND DEPICTION OF RAPE**, SMUT (nothing to do with the aforementioned rape), Dean’s “Sex Is...” monologue (yes, that’s definitely a warning), fake engagement.

Trigger Warning: RAPE. Mentions and depictions of it.

A/N: I’m not joking about the rape warning, if that bothers or triggers you, PLEASE don’t read. That’s my final warning. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy the 3rd installment of this series!!! As always, unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine, but the pics are not. This is another long one, so grab a snack and/or a drink!

Lost? Coming on this for the first time?? CATCH UP!!!

Series Master Post

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I've waited all my life to cross this line, to the only thing that's true. So, I will not hide, it's time to try; anything to be with you. All my life I've waited; this is true” ~ Ryan Cabrera

“This is a bad idea,” Kat said as she stood out in front of the church, waiting for Sam and Dean to pull up “A really, REALLY bad idea.”

She chewed nervously on her lower lip as she leaned against the Mustang's passenger door; she'd taken Sam's advice and dressed more conservatively than normal. Instead of a comic book shirt or a shirt with something silly written on it, leggings and combat boots; she wore a floral blouse with a gray cardigan to cover her tattoos, khaki pants and ballet flats. She normally favored red lipstick and black eyeliner; but she swapped it out for a nude pink lipstick and minimal eyeliner and had pinned her hair back into a simple ponytail. The engagement ring sat in her pocket, she'd found it at Wal-Mart for around ten bucks. She smiled to herself; she knew Dean had no idea she was here and imagining the look on his face when he saw her was enough to make her giggle. She heard the familiar roar of the Impala's engine and looked up to see Dean's jaw nearly on the floor when he saw her and the Mustang. Sam, however, looked pleased as punch. Dean put the Impala in park and they got out.

“Hey boys!” she greeted them and walked over to them.

“Thanks for coming.” Sam said and hugged her.

Dean looked her up and down, his heart racing. Even dressed like a Stepford Wife, she looked drop dead gorgeous. She smiled as she made her way over to him and hugged him, planting a kiss on his lips.

“How am I supposed to pay attention to anything when your ass looks like THAT in those pants?” he asked in her ear, making her laugh.

“This is the house of the lord!” she said feigning shock.

“Technically we're on the sidewalk so this is fair game.” he said with a mischievous grin as he kissed right below her ear.

Sam cleared his throat and they looked at him.

“Sorry!” Kat exclaimed and straightened her blouse and cardigan as she turned to Sam “So, what's the story?”

Sam filled her in on the crimes, six missing people in a month and the only connection was that they attended the same church, the one they were currently standing in front of. The only witness was a homeless guy who said he saw the most recent victim vanish in a blue, fiery glow.

“So, anyone talked to the victim's families?”

“Our friend, Jody Mills, is on it,” Sam said “I figured we could check out the church and,” he trailed off, a sly smiled crossing his face.

“And what?” Dean asked and Kat rolled her eyes

“He wants us to pretend to be engaged.” she said, which was why she knew this would be a bad idea. No way Dean would go for this. They hadn't been together that long and now they'd have to pretend to be engaged? Talk about putting pressure on the poor guy.

“Look, if you won't be her fake fiance, I will.” Sam said “But we need a believable story.”

“Hey, hey!” Dean exclaimed “She's MY girlfriend, I can pretend to be engaged to her!” he huffed in annoyance and then looked at her “I didn't know we were getting engaged, I'd have gotten you a ring otherwise.”

She blushed deeply, she had said they didn't need a label, but he'd just addressed her as his girlfriend, which made her heart pound and flutter all at the same time.

“Got ya covered.” she said and pulled the ring out of her pocket.

He rolled his eyes

“This is so backwards.” he said, a blush creeping up his neck “Marry me?” he asked.

“Sure.” Kat said and slid the ring on her finger “Yay, the proposal every girl hopes for, let's get the freak show on the road.”

Something made Dean's stomach turn a little. He hadn't imagined proposing to anyone since Lisa and that seemed like a lifetime ago. Now that it just happened, albeit only for a case, it just felt wrong. He linked arms with Kat a decided that if he ever proposed again, he'd make it a good one.

They walked into the church and were greeted by a thin redhead, about the same height as Kat, with red hair and brown eyes.

“You must be the Winchester party!” she said excitedly “I'm Bonnie Flitchgo.” and stuck out her hand.

“I'm Sam,” Sam told her and briefly shook her hand “this is my brother Dean and his lovely fiancee, Katlynn.”

Bonnie shook Dean's hand and then Kat's

“So, engaged, congratulations!” she said “let me see the ring.”

Kat stuck out out left hand and Bonnie looked at the ring on her fourth finger with a smile.

“Oh, it's beautiful, you picked this out all by yourself?” she asked

“We picked it out together,” Dean said, and held Kat's right hand “we do everything together.”

“Sure do!” Kat said with a smile.

“Sam, you mentioned that they were planning a fall wedding?” Bonnie asked

“Yes, at least, that's what they told me.” Sam said, looking at them for reassurance. Bonnie looked at Dean, who looked at Kat and she quickly said

“Yes, absolutely; we started dating in the fall and it just seemed,” she said as she thought and then looked up at Dean, who was smiling at her “perfect to get married in the same season we met.”

“Aw, well that is just too precious.” Bonnie said “Right this way, I'll give you folks the tour.”

Bonnie lead them through the church, which was indeed remarkable, and if Kat were the church going type, she could see herself getting married here one day. She quickly buried that thought in the back of her mind as she glanced up at Dean. He hadn't let go of her hand since the tour started, his fingers intertwined with hers. He caught her gaze and smiled down at her before placing a kiss on her temple.

“I'll give you two a moment, Sam, why don't you and I discuss some details while the love birds look at the chapel?” Bonnie suggested.

“Sure.” Sam said and followed Bonnie out into the main foyer of the church.

“Lips to yourself there buddy.” she chided him as she looked at the stained glass windows, admiring the artwork in them.

“But we're engaged and in love remember?” he asked, a mischievous glint in his green eyes “gotta sell it if we want her to buy it.”

Kat grinned and shook her head.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night.” she said.

“No, I'm being serious,” He said “fake it until you make it right?”

Kat nodded

“Yeah, I guess.” she said and let out a sigh “I mean it IS a nice church,” Dean's eyebrows shot up this time and she took notice, her cheeks flushing red “I mean, objectively.”

“So, you don't want to get married in a church?” he asked

She shook her head

“I mean, I never really felt a connection to religion in the Abrahamic sense,” she said “I'm more of what would be considered pagan or wiccan. Nature based stuff.”

He shrugged

“After everything I've seen in this line of work, I don't rule out anything.” he said and looked around. “It is nice though.”

“I agree,” she said “let's go tell her.”

They walked down the aisle, holding hands as Dean grinned

“This is the closest I've ever gotten to marriage.” he said and she laughed

“You and me both buddy.” she told him as they walked into the main foyer.

Bonnie turned to them and said

“Right this way,” motioning them into her office. They filed in and she brought in another chair for Sam “I hope you enjoyed the tour. So, any questions before we get you all registered?” Bonnie asked as she sat down at her desk.

“Yes, honestly Miss Flitchgo,” Kat said

She tilted her head to the side

“Bonnie will do just fine.” she corrected Kat with a smile. Kat mirrored the smile and said

“Okay, Bonnie, we love the church, we really do.” Kat said “but we've heard that a few members have gone missing and,” she looked at Dean who made a slightly freaked out face “it kind of scares us.”

“Let me assure you,” Bonnie said, placing a hand on her chest, “with our increased security, Good Faith has never been safer. And those people that are missing?” she asked with a smile “They are front and center in our prayers.”

Kat resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the mention of prayer.

“What a relief,” Dean said and adjusted his position in his chair “now, you must've been close to them.”

“Well,” Bonnie said as she adjusted her position as well “we do share the APU bond.” she added a fond smile.

“APU?” Sam asked

“Our chastity group,” Bonnie said with a nod “Abstinence Purifies Us.”

Kat snorted and nearly cracked a rib from stifling her laughter. Sam kicked her ankle and Dean squeezed her hand as she bowed her head, covering her face as Bonnie made a shocked face.

“It's a nervous tic.” Dean said, covering for Kat.

“Oh!” Sam said in surprise “Well, do you mind if we sit in on that and see if it's for us?”

Kat bit her lip so hard to keep from laughing that she swore she tasted blood. Dean gave Sam a quick look as Kat tried to compose herself.

“I'm afraid it's members only,” Bonnie said, looking at Kat and then at the boys “sorry, it can get pretty personal.”

Kat had just gotten to where she could sit up when Sam said

“Then count us in!” in an enthusiastic tone. Kat smashed her lips together, her shoulders shaking with tears nearly rolling out of her eyes as Dean looked like someone had told him there was no bacon left on the planet. Sam glanced at both of them, then Kat and Dean nodded.

“Well, I'll be a squirrel in a skirt!” Bonnie said “I'll be back in a jif with the papers.” she patted her desk and got up quickly. Dean and Kat looked at Sam, who shrugged.

“A chastity group?” Dean asked.

“You can't be serious,” Kat said, finally having collected herself “you know that's a vow we can't keep!”

“Yeah, but if all the victims were members of APU, then whatever took them is probably stalking virgins.” Sam told them.

“The homeless guy, Slim, said he thought he saw fire, so you thinking what I'm thinking?” Dean asked

“What has that kind of juice and kidnaps virgins? That's just mean.” Kat asked

“A dragon.” Sam and Dean said in unison as Kat's eyebrows shot up in to her hairline.

“You wanna run that by me one more time?” she asked

“Dragons,” Dean said “I'm talking fire breathing, winged, scaly, hatched from eggs by Danyeres Targaryen sons a bitches.”

Kat's eyes went wide as she swallowed nervously.

“You'd think in this line of work, I wouldn't be surprised, but every once in a while something punches you in the gut.” she said as Bonnie came back with three clipboards and pens.

“Alrighty,” she said and handed them each a clipboard “just sign at the bottom and your purification can begin.”

Kat glanced down at the blue paper that had a golden cross at the top and dark blue vines around the border and read.

Purity Pledge

A Commitment to My Virginity

Today, I make a commitment to God, to myself and to my family and friends

to stay pure until I enter a biblical marriage relationship.

This is the promise I make to the Lord,

and I know when I succeed, my blessings will be plentiful.

I believe true love waits.

“Purity pledge?” Sam asked

“It's a commitment to your virginity.” Bonnie told him.

Kat's eyes went wide as she looked up from her paper, her stomach dropping.

“I don't think we can really un-ring that bell.” Dean said with an uncomfortable laugh.

“Yeah,” Kat said and shifted uncomfortably in her seat “have to agree with him on that one.”

All four of them exchanged looks and Bonnie said

“Ah, I see. Well, if you just ask for God's forgiveness for you sins and make a new vow of chastity, you'll be born again as a virgin in his eyes.”

“So, you just hit the virginity do over button and it's all good with the man upstairs?” Dean asked and Bonnie smiled, looking sad as Kat held back a groan.

“It's not a button,” she told Dean “and this is not just a piece of paper. This is you clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage.”

Kat pursed her lips, holding back making a face as she, Sam and Dean exchanged looks.

“Isn't it important for you to gift your virginity to your husband?” Bonnie asked Kat.

Kat suddenly felt all the eyes in the room on her and she shifted in her seat again; with all the attention on her, she started to sweat.

“Sure,” she said nervously “definitely, and what a beautiful gift that will be. Right honey?” she asked Dean.

“She had me at clean slate,” he said and popped the pen “let's do this.”

They each scratched their names on to the paper hand handed it over to Bonnie. She looked down at the papers and said with a smile “Congratulations, Sam and Dean Winchester, Katlynn Roberts; you are all now virgins.”

Sam and Dean let out uncomfortable laughs while Kat slumped in her seat.

Bonnie had informed them that there was an APU meeting later that afternoon, so the three of them left to grab some food at a Mexican place they found before going to the meeting.

“This is why I don't like Abrahamic religion,” Kat said grumpily “you had sex and enjoyed it? Shame the fuck on you.” she shoved nachos into her mouth and drank from her margarita glass.

“Come on Kat, it's just for the case.” Sam said as he mixed up his salad “You don't actually HAVE to be a virgin until marriage.”

“I see what she's saying,”Dean said as he finished chewing his burrito “if you're happy and you know it, it's a sin right?” he asked Kat and she nodded

“Exactly.” she said and took a bite out of another chip that was covered in melted cheese.

“How DID you lose your virginity?” Sam asked Dean as Dean swallowed another bite of his burrito.

“I was fourteen,” Dean said “Becky Hansen, in her parent's basement. Three thrusts and half a beer later, I was the best sex she ever had.” Sam laughed at this “You?”

“About that age,” Sam said “Abby Dunlap. She was fifteen and it was at her friend Rachel's house on her little brother's bed.”

“On the little brother's bed?!” Dean asked as Kat laughed and Sam nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yep, Power Rangers sheets and everything.” Sam said, a blush creeping up on his cheeks.

“You?” Dean asked looking at Kat, who shook her head.

“Nah, I'm out for this one.” she told him and took another drink from her glass.

“We told, come on!” Dean encouraged her and she shook her head again.

“I'd really rather not.” she told Dean, shooting him a warning look.

“What? Because it was THAT bad?” Dean asked, missing the look.

“Dean, come on. She said no.” Sam said as Kat's face set in annoyance.

“Come on Kat, we told ours, it can't be any worse than that.” Dean badgered.

“Yeah it can be.” she said, now angry. She dropped her tone so only they could hear “I was raped.”

They both stared at her and she stood up

“I'm going to the bathroom.” she said and finished the last of her margarita before leaving the table. Dean's stomach bottomed out as he watched her walk away.

“Shit,” he said under his breath and set his burrito down “I don't mean to-shit.”

“I'm sure she knows you didn't mean anything by it.” Sam said “Plus you didn't know, did you?”

“NO!” Dean said “If I knew, I would've brought it up. God, I feel like such an asshole.”

“Give her a minute,” Sam said “then go and apologize.”

“Yeah, I will.” Dean said and got up, finding their waitress “Would you mind getting her another margarita?” he asked her

“Not at all.” the waitress said and walked toward the bar as Dean walked toward the ladies room.

Kat's hands shook as she washed them in the sink, the ice cold water splashing over her palms as her shoulders began to shake. She could smell it, clear as day; a mix of cigarettes, awful cologne, and window cleaner.

“No, stop please,” her own voice echoed in her mind “please, please stop” she begged, tears running down her cheeks. She felt a hard slap right on her cheek near her eye, making her go temporarily blind.

“Quit crying bitch, or I'll give you something to cry about!” the man's voice snapped as he tugged on her hair, giving him better access to her neck. He kissed and bit her flesh as he pushed into her, pain radiating from between her legs.

“No, stop!” she squeaked as she tried to squirm.

“You like it you little skank,” he said fiercely in her ear “you like my big cock in you.”

Tears splashed down her cheeks, her cries falling on deaf ears. Eventually, she shut down, let him take what he wanted, feeling a piece of her die as he came deep in her. He chuckled as he got up.

“Yeah, that's what I thought,” he said and ran and finger from her hole to her clit “you liked it. Look how wet you are.”

She looked at him as he licked her juices off his finger and disposed of the condom in the trash.

“Fucking cock slut.” he called over his shoulder as he zipped up and left the room.

As a grown woman, a tear fell out of Kat's eyes and she brushed it away. She heard a tentative knock on the door and she swallowed before calling

“Yeah?”

“Kat, it's Dean.” she heard him say. She took a deep breath, steadying herself and she walked toward the door. When she opened it, he was standing there, looking sheepish.

“I'm sorry,” he said “I didn't mean to”

“It's okay,” she cut him off, not looking at him “You didn't know and I don't want to talk about it.”

“I should've just kept my fucking mouth shut,” he told her, tilting her face up to his, using his thumb and forefinger “I'm really, really sorry.”

Her eyes met his and she instantly softened; he looked like he felt awful.

“I know you are,” she told him and kissed him “just next time, when I say I don't want to talk about something, I mean it. Okay?”

He nodded and kissed her again, before walking back to the table with his arm around her shoulders to find another margarita waiting for her.

After lunch, Sam, Kat and Dean went back to the church and gathered in one of the classrooms with the other members of APU, which were all women. She silently chuckled to herself as they took their seats in a circle when a blonde woman wearing a teal hoodie and jeans walked in. Kat and Dean both cocked their head to the side as the woman sat down and said

“Good afternoon everyone, I'm Suzy,” the blonde said as she sat down. Everyone quietly greeted her and she went on “I thought we'd begin with a silent prayer for our missing friends.” The other women smiled and bowed their heads as Kat and Dean kept staring at Suzy, exchanging glances. Sam cleared his throat and brought them back to Earth and they realized everyone else was praying. They quickly bowed their heads and closed their eyes

“I never know what to do when someone tells me to pray,” Kat thought “I know I'm supposed to pray for the missing people, but I don't know them. Can I pray for something else? Like the Falcons winning a Super Bowl? I hear you laughing God, but a girl can ask. That's my Dad's team. Make it happen, please.”

“Amen,” Suzy said and everyone looked up “now does anyone have anything they'd like to share?” she asked, motioning to the group.

“I wrote a new piece of verse!” a woman with curly hair said, she reached into her jacket pocket and stood up. She explained that it was a metaphor about sex being a racquet and the ball was in God's court. Suzy said that could be saved for later and the woman, Tammy, sat down.

“Why don't we hear from our new friends?” Suzy asked and she motioned to Sam “Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?”

Sam, put on the spot, shifted in his chair at Kat and Dean turned their attention to Sam

“I uh,” Sam said “it guess it's because every woman I've uh,” he stammered “ever had relations with it uh, hasn't ended well.”

“He ain't lying.” Dean quipped and Kat stifled a laugh while Sam gave Dean a bitchy look.

“Well, we're glad you're here Sam,” Suzy said “stay strong, stay pure.”

The rest of the group; save Sam, Dean and Kat chimed in

“Stay strong, stay pure.”

“And you Katlynn?” Suzy asked “What prompted you to reclaim your virginity?”

Dean's hand automatically clamped over Kat's and he gave her a cautionary look. She sent him a reassuring smile and said

“Kat, everyone calls me Kat.”

“Sorry” Suzy said.

“It's okay,” Kat said and went on “Well, I have to admit, I was a bit of a skeptic, I mean to me, sex is sex right? No big deal. But today, after touring this beautiful church,” she looked at Dean and then at Bonnie “Bonnie opened my eyes and helped me realize that giving my virginity to my husband is probably the best gift I can give him.” Bonnie's face lit up with pride “I mean, that's better than half a beer and three thrusts right?”

Sam held back a snort while Dean's cheeks turned pink and she squeezed his hand.

“We're glad you're here Kat.” Suzy said with a smile. Kat couldn't help but register that Suzy looked familiar, but couldn't place her. Again, the group echoed the “stay strong, stay pure” affirmation before Suzy turned her attention to Dean.

“Dean, what led you on the path away from sin?” Suzy asked

“Hard to say, exactly.” Dean said with a chuckle “Sex has always been, always felt, I don't know, good. You know, really, REALLY good.”

Kat resisted the smile threatening to form over her mouth.

“Damn right it is,” she thought “especially with him.”

“But, uh sometimes, it just makes you feel bad.” He went on “you know, you're drunk; you shack up, then it's the whole morning thing. You know “hey, that was fun”? And then adios, always with the adios.” when he said this, he looked sad and Kat squeezed his hand. He gave her a half smile and went on “And when you get down to it what's the big deal? I mean sure; there's the touching and the feeling ALL of each other.”

Kat froze, her heart rate increasing and her eyes going wide as he went on “My hands every where, tracing every inch of her body.” she let out an involuntary sigh, picturing just that. Those rough, calloused hands running over her bare back and thighs as he deeply kissed her. Her eyes shifted over to him and he kept talking. “The two of us moving together, pressing and pulling and grinding.” The words came out of his mouth as smooth as honey; her hand going clammy in his as she pursed her lips. He glanced at her, their eyes meeting and he smirked. He was doing this on purpose, she realized as her mouth dropped open a little bit. He knew the effect his words were having on her, and frankly every woman in the room, but this was for her. Each and every word that fell like eloquent, but dirty, poetry from his sinful lips was for her. “Then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just-” he made and exploding noise as Tammy's hand clamped around the paper in her hands. Sam cleared his throat, breaking the trance between Kat and Dean, who had been eye fucking for the last few seconds. They both looked up and realized each pair of eyes was on them. Kat rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand and Dean reigned it in as he cleared his throat “Yeah,” he said and looked away from Kat “but the whole thing was just a little too,” he trailed off, looking for the right word “sticky.” he added “So, I got my v-card back,” he slapped his knee with a proud smile “the end!”

It was then Kat realized, that Dean Winchester would be the death of her, but it would be a sweet, sweet way to go.

After the meeting, Sam pulled them to to side and asked

“Bit of an over share don't you think?”

“Hey, I was purifying.” Dean said as Suzy walked past them

“And basically reading Fifty Shades of Grey out loud in front of a chastity group counts as purifying?” Sam asked and Kat let out a snort

“I enjoyed it.” she said and nodded toward Suzy “Does she look familiar to ya'll?”

Sam rolled his eyes

“Not you too.” he said

“She does.” Dean said and looked at her “but I can't place her.”

“Me neither,” Kat said “I'm gonna go find out.” and let go of Dean's hand and walked over toward Suzy as Dean watched her go.

“Are you checking out her ass?” Sam asked

Dean shrugged

“She's my girlfriend slash fake fiancee, I can look all I want.” Dean said as Bonnie came over to them.

“Are you sure we've never met?” Kat asked “Because you look SUPER familiar.”

“No, I'm pretty sure we've never met.” Suzy said “So, you and your fiance and future brother in law are new in town?”

“Yeah,” Kat said “we've got a lot of newness going on in our lives right now, just getting used to being a virgin again.”

“Well, I provide individual counseling if you, Sam or Dean ever need to talk.” Suzy told her.

“So, everyone in the group dishes to you?” Kat asked

“Keeping your virginity can be really challenging without support and guidance,” Suzy said and a look dawned over her “you know, I have some books at my place on the vow that really helped me. If you guys want to wait here, I'll go get them really quick. I live close.”

“With a crazy kidnapper on the loose?” Kat asked “Nah, Dean and I will walk with you. It's totally cool.”

“I can handle myself.” Suzy insisted

“Please? I insist. I'd feel a lot better.” Kat told her.

“Well, if you insist.” Suzy said and Kat nodded and then walked over to Dean and Sam as Bonnie walked away from them.

“We're taking the teacher home.” Kat told Dean and his eyebrows wiggled up and down.

“Well, I didn't think you were one for sharing, but I'm game.” He said and she shot him a look.

“Trust me,” she said and looked him up and down “THAT I don't share. Under any circumstances. Ever.”

Dean looked away awkwardly while Sam explained that Tammy, the poet, knew all kinds of dirt about Honor, the latest missing victim.

“You find out everything you know, Dean and I will get Suzy home safe.” Kat said “meet you and Jody at the motel in like an hour?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam said with a nod. Dean and Kat held hands and walked back over to Suzy, who gave them a smile and a nod as they left the church.

They entered Suzy's modest apartment; it was simply decorated with plain paintings and plain furniture. She turned to them and said

“Make yourselves comfortable.” as she turned to them. She unzipped her hoodie to reveal a light blue tank top and white racer back bra under it. Kat rolled her eyes, but couldn't shake the feeling that she knew Suzy from somewhere as she sat down on the couch.

“Suzy, do you mind if I use your ladies' room?” Kat asked

“Go ahead,” Suzy told her “go to the hall and make a left, first door at the end of the hallway.”

“Thank you.” Kat said and gave Dean a nod as he released her hand. Kat wandered into Suzy's bathroom. Once the door was shut, she swiftly dug through Suzy's medicine cabinet, hoping to find some clues as to who this girl was and why she looked so familiar. She didn't have anything interesting in her cabinets, save for a couple of nearly empty painkiller bottles. Kat rolled her eyes and flushed the toilet, making it sound like she had done her business. When she came out of the bathroom, she found Suzy loading Dean's hands up with books.

“Oh, good you're back,” Suzy said “I was just giving Dean some books to skim through, these REALLY helped me when I was starting out on my journey.”

Kat stepped over as Dean showed her the titles to the books which included “A Guide for Chastity” and “The Way To Purity”.

“I'm sure they will.” Kat said as Dean handed her a couple of books while Suzy shifted through her bookshelf. She piled a couple of more books into Dean's arms and said

“Why don't you two breeze through those while I use the little girl's room?” and she went toward the bathroom. Once they heard the door shut, Kat rolled her eyes and set the books down.

“My spine aches from the weight of all this righteousness.” she said and looked at the covers of the books.

“Who are you telling?” Dean asked as he walked over to a shelving unit and looked at the books on it. “They're giving the guy that's been to heaven, hell AND purgatory a clean slate? Something stinks.”

“Wait, what?” Kat asked

“Long story,” Dean said “I'll give you the gory details later.” he spied an open drawer and pulled it further open as his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it as he looked into the drawer and saw a couple of DVD covers. Much to his surprise, Suzy's face was looking back at him; she had on her underwear and not much else; Dean's eyes went wide as he yanked open the drawer.

“DEAN!” Kat hissed as she watched him. She walked over to him and saw what he was doing and he faced her; he held up two porn DVDs with Suzy's picture on them. Kat's jaw hit the floor as she read the titles.

“She's Carmalita?!” Kat asked in a shocked whisper.

“Yeah, copy that.” Dean said into the phone and hung up, his eyebrows arching.

“YOU know who Carmalita is?” Dean asked and Kat nodded vigorously.

“EVERYONE knows who Carmalita is.” Kat said. “She's a legend!” she turned the DVDs over and asked

“That scene with the tacos? I tried to recreate that once.”

Dean stared at her open mouthed

“And?” he asked, his voice going up an octave

“Didn't turn out as well for me as it did for her,” Kat said “plus the guy wasn't into it.”

“Wait, what?” he asked, confused.

“Come on Dean; look at her,” Kat said and held up the DVD cover “and look at me.” she made a motion up and down her body “No contest. She wins.”

“I AM looking at you,” he said “and you're right, it is no contest.” she looked crestfallen as he went on “Any girl willing to recreate something they saw out of a porn for a guy? That trumps anything she has going for her.”

Her gaze met his as he licked his lips

“At the meeting?” he asked as her turned to her; his body heat rolling off of him as he stepped closer to her “You saw what I did?”

Kat nodded

“Every woman in the room saw that.” she told him, her heart pounding.

“Yeah,” he said, their bodies only inches apart and his eyes practically black with lust “but it was only meant for one of them.”

“You're a bad, BAD boy; aren't you?” she asked as she took a step backwards and set the DVDs down.

“I don't know,” Dean said, his voice was low and quiet enough to where it sounded like a primal, sexy growl “why don't you ask me that in Spanish?”

Kat cocked her head to the side, half closing her eyes as she stood up on the balls of her feet

“¿Eres un chico,” she cooed in his ear “malo?” she ended the sentence by lightly biting the shell of his ear.

He shuttered under the gesture and pulled back from her; his gorgeous green eyes lust blown and determined.

“Si.” he answered and their lips smashed together just as they heard the toilet flush. Dean was beyond thinking straight, he grabbed Kat's arm and they ran out of Suzy's apartment before she had a chance to come out of the bathroom.

They hurried to Kat's motel room where they practically ripped the door of the hinges just to get inside faster. As soon as the door was shut and locked; they were in an iron lip lock as they clawed at each others clothes. Buttons from their shirts were flying in every direction as Dean picked Kat up and laid her on her back on the bed. He kissed all over her chest and neck as she gripped his hair, the thick locks tangling in her fingers.

“Dean!” she cried, his name coming out of her mouth in quick secession.

“We're virgins remember?” he asked as they made eye contact and she nodded

“But who gives a fuck?” she asked and kissed him hard.

“I do. We're doing this” he sat up and got off the bed “and you deserve it to be done right.”

“Dean, come on!” Kat groaned in frustration. Why was he picking right NOW to be her knight in shining armor? Couldn't this wait until later?

Dean kicked his boots and socks off as he walked over to his bag and pulled out a candle.

“Where the hell did you get that from?” she asked as she propped up on her elbows.

“Technically, I got it as a present for you but,” he said with a shrug. He quickly lit it and shut off the lamp; only the light from the candle shone as he set it on the night stand, its fruity scent wafting toward her “here we are.” he said and he climbed on his knees above her.

“What're you doing?” she asked as she sat up, her hands sliding up his arms as he tugged her shoes off.

“I'm doing it the right way for you.” he told her, pushing her hair out of his eyes with his fingertips “You deserve better than what you went through and you're better than three thrusts and half a beer.”

She grinned and he kissed her gently, his lips taking their time on hers. He slowly kissed her, tucking her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers trail through her hair as he laid her back on the bed. The subtle touch behind her ear, his fingers winding their way down the side of her neck and her shoulders. The light from the candle danced over his tanned, freckled skin; making his defined muscles stand out even more as he placed light kisses on her cheeks, forehead and nose. His knuckles ran over the swell of her breast as he pushed the cup of the bra down. Her nipple instantly hardened against the cool air as he took it into his mouth, giving it a gentle suck. Kat threw her head back as he flicked his tongue over her nipple, making her whine. He did the same thing to her other breast before used his free hand to unhook her bra. She slid the straps down her shoulders and slid it the rest of the way off. He quickly pulled his own t-shirt off and she kissed him.

“Do I get to undress you?” she asked mischievously

“In time,” he said “for right now, I want to focus on you.”

She bit her lip and nodded as he kissed down her chest and belly before unbuttoning her pants.

“I ALMOST feel bad taking these off of you,” he said “your ass looks hot in these.”

“Thanks.” she told him as he slid the pants off of her, leaving her in a pair of lacy, pink panties.

“Fuck,” he groaned and looked up at her “you have no clue how sexy you are, do you?” he asked. She shook her head as he kissed her again, the bulge in his pants grinding into her hot core.

“Mh, you're wet for me aren't you?” he asked and she nodded. He slid his hand down her body and into her panties to find her core practically dripping.

“Jesus Kat,” he said and kissed her as his fingertips dipped into her, bringing her slick all the way to her clit “you're so fucking wet sweetheart.” His mouth sealed over hers as he pressed his fingers into her clit, moving in a slow circle, her nails dug into his shoulders as his hand continued to work her, making her sigh and moan against his mouth. He started to kiss her neck; leaving sweet, gentle kisses in his wake. She started grinding her hips into his fingers as he slid them down and inside of her. She whined as he sucked on her pulse point. He smirked; each little sound she was making was because of him and he was relishing in it. He looked up and saw her head thrown back and her eyes closed; her skin was flushed pink and her breaths were coming at a rapid pace.

“Sweetheart,” he said quietly and she looked at him; her eyes were so lust blown he could barely see the green color in them.

“Dean I'm gonna,” she moaned

“I know,” he said, curling his fingers and making the 'come here' motion “look at me.”

Under the intensity of his gaze and his touch; her heart pounded as her body gave in. With a loud cry, she soaked his fingers as she finished, not breaking eye contact with him.

“That,” she breathed as he pulled his fingers out of her and licked them clean “that was hot.”

He smirked and kissed her, she could taste herself on his mouth. She quickly undid his belt and then the button and zipper on his jeans, pulling them down and off of him. Her light touches on his skin made goosebumps appear and he let out a shaky breath and slid her panties off.

“Are you okay?” she asked him and he nodded as he supported his weight on his knees and elbows.

“I'm fine,” he said “just feels good.”

She smiled as she lightly ran her fingertips up his legs and hips and then his back as he kissed her neck and throat, slightly shaking under her touch. He pushed her legs further apart using his knee as her hands came to a stop on the sides of his face. She tilted his gaze up to meet hers as he easily slid deep inside her. She let out a combination of a gasp and a whine as he easily nailed her sweet spot, making her back arch.

“Oh god,” she moaned quietly as he began to move “right, oh god, right there!”

She kissed him, her hips moving with his; he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rolled on to his back, bringing her on top of him. They kissed hard and heavily as their rhythm increased; he slid his hands up her thighs and back as she placed her hands on his chest for balance. He gripped her hips and moaned against her lips, his tongue winding its way into her mouth. She met his tongue with hers, tasting everything he had to give her. When his tongue was back in his mouth, Kat opened her eyes to see him looking back at her. They pressed their foreheads together and then kissed again. He sat up, his arms wrapping around her and holding her flush against him. She planted her feet flat on the bed and kept up their rhythm, from this angle he was hitting her sweet spot mercilessly.

“Oh god!” she cried, her nails digging into his shoulders “OH GOD YES!”

“You gonna come for me sweetheart?” he asked as he playfully bit her earlobe, making her yelp in surprise.

“God, yes Dean!” she cried, their thrusts becoming more erratic.

“Come on baby,” he told her, gripping her hard “come for me.”

After a few more thrusts, they were both calling out and finally stilled before collapsing on the bed, breathing hard and still wrapped up in each other.

“Weren’t we supposed to do something?” Dean asked after he caught his breath.

“Yeah,” Kat said “meet up with Sam and Jody.”

“When was that supposed to happen?” Dean asked. Kat grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch.

“Like twenty minutes ago.” She said and dropped his arm. They looked at each other and laughed before kissing. They untangled themselves and Kat got dressed in her usual clothing; a pair of gray leggings, a maroon top and black combat boots with a blue jacket over that.

“I forgot to mention,” Dean said as he pulled his pants on “Sam said it isn’t a dragon.”

“Then what else do we know of that kidnaps virgins?” Kat asked as Dean zipped up and buckled his belt.

“Something pretty powerful,” he said “Honor’s Jeep was ass over elbows according to Jody, and there’s the light show it put on too.”

“Maybe a god of some kind?” Kat wondered out loud “it fits if you think about it.”

He tugged on his shirt and listened as she went on

“Super strength, wants virgins and a light show? Sounds like Zeus or Thor.” She said

“I’ll go with the god thing but I doubt Zeus or Thor would make an appearance without lighting and thunder; respectfully.” He said as he tugged his socks and boots on, her eyebrows raising and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Color me impressed,” she said “I didn’t figure you for a mythology buff.”

“I refreshed myself after meeting a couple of gods and goddesses,” Dean said “I like to know what I’m up against.”

“Very nice,” she said “you know, the more I learn about you, the more I like you.”

“Is that right?” He asked as he stood up and walked over to her. She nodded and he placed his hands on her hips as she placed her hands on the back of his neck. He leaned down and kissed her, he could feel her smiling through the kiss. When he pulled back, he grabbed his jacket and said

“Let’s go meet Sam and Jody before we break that chastity vow again.”

Kat laughed as he extended his hand to her and she took it. Before they could figure out what was going on, they both saw a flash of blue light as the door burst open. Dean stood in front of Kat, putting himself between her and the light. A force stronger than anything they’d ever felt overwhelmed both of them and flung them across the motel room, smacking them against the opposite wall and knocking them out.

Kat felt her head hit the ground and her vision was whited out. Pain radiated from her shoulders, back and ankles; like she had been roughly dropped. When she was able to, she opened her eyes and realized she was looking up at a ladder and what looked like a manhole cover. She groaned as she rolled to her right side, seeing Dean's legs in her line of sight. She saw a dim light and gasped as she sat up into a sitting position; looking to her left, she saw three frightened people. One was a young lady with long brown hair, holding a lantern. The other was a woman, it looked like she was wearing a nightgown. She had blonde hair and her hand was badly bleeding. The last was a guy; not as tall as Dean, but taller than both women he was with. He had short dark hair and looked like he was wearing his pajamas.

“Are you okay?” the girl with brown hair asked.

“I'm fine.” Kat groaned and she looked at Dean's face, his eyes were still closed. Kat pulled herself up onto her knees and shook Dean's shoulders “Dean, come on, wake up.” she said and his eyes immediately shot open and he sat up.

“What the?!” he asked as he looked around “Where are we?”

“Hell.” the guy answered.

From the dim lantern light and the light given off by the candles; Kat could see that they were in some kind of tunnel, it smelled like mildew and must. A few feet from them, she could see that the tunnel opened up into a cavern like area where a table and chairs had been set up. The rest of the tunnel was lined with bricks and cement, no way they'd dig out of this with bobby pins and two sticks of gum. Dean stood up first and offered Kat his hands, which she took. She gingerly stood and he tilted her face up.

“You okay?” he asked

“I think my shoulder is jammed and my ankle hurts like a bitch,” she said as she winced when she tried to move it “I'm fine other than that.”

Dean looked up, saw the manhole cover and then looked at the young girl, holding the lantern.

“Can I see that?” Dean asked, motioning to the lantern.

The girl nodded and handed it over to him. Holding the lantern in one hand, he climbed up the ladder and knocked on the cover, which he realized was sealed from the outside. This was no man hole, this was meant to be a prison.

“We tried,” the guy said “there's no escape.”

“We're not gonna run out of air are we?” Kat asked, casting a worried glance at Dean.

“Doubt it,” he guy said and motioned to a vent on the wall “someone wants us to die nice and slow.”

“And then it'll take us,” the young girl said “like it did Pastor Fred.”

“What took him?” Dean asked, still on the ladder.

“We didn't see exactly,” the young girl said “it was so bright, it was like it was on fire.”

Kat and Dean made eye contact; an conversation silently flowing between them. Dean tried with the cover again, smashing the side of his clenched fist into the metal, but it seemed to mock him as metal ground against metal. Rust fell off of the cover and on to him as it refused to budge.

“Son of a bitch.” he grumbled as he climbed down from the ladder. The young girl limped away and sat at the table with the couple.

“Maybe,” the blonde woman said “God wants us down here, to punish us.”

“Why would God punish you guys?” Kat asked “What'd you do? Forget to put some change in the offering plate on Sunday?”

The blonde woman and the brunette girl looked at her, the brunette's eyes were widened with fear as she looked at the couple.

“Did you guys?” she asked and the blonde woman nodded as her eyes welled with tears.

“I told you,” the guy said “it didn't count because it was under thirty seconds!”

Confused, Kat asked

“I'm sorry, what?”

“We-” the blonde woman said tearfully “we broke our chastity vow.”

Kat's eyebrows shot up and she looked at the brunette

“You too?” Kat asked and the brunette nodded

“With Pastor Fred.” she said and the couple didn't look surprised. Kat and Dean looked at each other and shrugged.

“Well that lasted a good, what? Few hours?” Kat asked a Dean nodded as he patted himself down.

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed “that thing took my phone.”

Kat patted her pockets and realized her phone was missing too, which she told him.

“Luckily,” Dean said as he tore open the lining of his jacket and pulled out a basic flip phone “I keep a spare.”

“You gotta teach me how to do that.” Kat said with a smirk.

“You go sit,” he told her “I'm gonna try and get a hold of Sam.”

Kat gave him a look and he leaned into her ear

“I may need you,” he murmured “so save your strength for right now.”

She nodded and did as he requested, sitting beside the brunette girl, while Dean walked around the tunnel looking for a signal.

“I'm Kat,” she told the brunette and motioned to Dean “that's my boyfriend, Dean.”

“Honor,” the brunette said “My name is Honor. That's Barb,” she said and nodded to the blonde woman, who looked even more frightened as the guy talked rapidly in her ear “and her fiance, Neil.” she flinched in pain and Kat said

“Here, let me look at that ankle.” as Neil and Barb stood up. He pulled her to the side and began rapidly speaking to her in a hushed tone. Kat kept one eye on them and looked at Honor's ankle as best as she could in the dim light.

“It's probably just a sprain,” Kat said “get it looked at when you get home, but for right now, keep it elevated to reduce the swelling.”

“If I get home.” Honor said, looking sad.

“Hey,” Kat said and placed a hand on her shoulder to reassure her “this may not sound like much right now, but this is what Dean and I do for a living. Whatever this thing is, we're gonna find it and kill it, okay? Plus, we have friends who'll come looking for us; if he and I can't take this thing out, they will.”

Honor looked a little more hopeful as Dean's voice broke the silence.

“Sam! SAM!” Kat heard Dean shout as he walked over to the air vent “Sammy, can you hear me? We're underground!” on the other end of the line, all Dean could hear was Sam's broken voice and then nothing. “Damn it!” he yelled and put the phone away.

“Don't Neil, don't! Please!” Barb pleaded with her fiance as he shushed her.

“Barb, come on, it's the only way.” Neil reassured her.

“No what Neil?” Dean asked as he looked at his phone.

“Mind your own beeswax pal!” Neil snapped at Dean.

If looks could kill, Neil would've dropped dead before Dean snapped his phone shut and said

“Hey, we're all stuck down here together, so if you got something to say, say it.”

“Okay look,” Neil said “whatever that fireball thing was it's taking the weakest, and I'm not gonna be next.”

“Uh oh.” Kat thought as she watched Dean's shoulders tense.

“So the way I see it, her leg's busted anyway,” Neil said, motioning to Honor “we serve her up, it could buy us some time.”

Honor's face twisted in disgust and outrage.

“Oh, SCREW YOU Neil!” she yelled

“It's just a sprain!” Kat shouted

“If not you, then her!” Neil shouted and motioned to Kat. At this, Dean grabbed Neil by the collar of his shirt and pushed him into the wall.

“Nobody's serving ANYBODY up!” Dean shouted, he then dropped his tone and looked Neil square in the eye

“We are under the gallows,” Neil said, a foreboding tone in his voice “all of us. Give them over and it'll save our necks, unless you have a better plan.”

“Maybe I do,” Dean said, staring Neil down “maybe we'll give him you.” Neil visibly flinched and Dean went on “Oh what? You don't like that idea? Then SHUT UP.” he then dropped his voice to a low tone “you touch one hair on the redhead; you'll be dead before you hit the floor.”

“What? You gonna carve me up?” Neil challenged

Dean smirked

“I'm not the one you should be worried about,” Dean said “it's her. I watched her slice open a wolf like it was birthday cake.” Neil's eyes went wide “and if she leaves anything behind, trust me, no one will ever find it.”

Neil's eyes flicked from Dean to Kat and back again as Dean released him. Dean walked over to Kat and Honor. Honor gave Dean a smile while Kat looked confused, Dean gave her a jerk of his head and she got up, hobbling over to him.

“What exactly did you say to him?” Kat asked as Neil gave her the once over, looking as white as his pajama shirt.

“Just that I watched you sliced open a wolf like it was cake.” Dean said with a shrug.

“That was a werewolf in Denver like three years ago,” Kat reiterated “you just found out about that the other night.”

Dean shrugged

“Details,” he said and kissed her temple “how's your ankle?”

“Fine,” she said “the less weight I put on it, the better though.”

“I'll do what I can on my own, okay?” He asked and she nodded “But you're my backup, so rest please.”

“I will.” she told him and squeezed his hand before sitting back down next to Honor, who took notice of the ring on her finger.

“I thought you said Dean was your boyfriend?” she asked

“He is.” Kat told her as Dean picked up a candle and looked through the bars of the vent to see if they might budge.

“Then I guess you broke your promise too?” she asked, indicating Kat's ring. Kat looked down at it and said

“I try not to make promises I can't keep,” Kat said and looked at Dean, smiling fondly “but for him? I'd break the world in half.”

“You really love him don't you?” Honor asked, a sweet smile crossing her face.

Kat's cheeks flushed and she cleared her throat

“I don't know about all that just yet. We haven't been together that long.” Kat stammered, the back of her neck and her ears feeling hot as her heart started racing.

Honor smiled at this

“But you do, I can tell.” she said

Just then, there was a knocking above them, coming from the cover and they all tensed.

“That's it!” Neil yelled at Dean “It's back, you should've listened to me!”

Dean moved away from the vent and set the candle down on the table

“Shut up!” Dean yelled “I know that knock!”

Kat looked at Dean hopefully as Dean dashed over to the cover, she could hear Sam's muffled voice shouting to Dean.

“Sam? Sammy?!” Dean yelled back as he went up the ladder. Kat jumped up, adrenaline and relief pumping through her system as she ran to the base of the ladder while Dean climbed up it, the lantern clutched in his hand. Once he reached the top, he pounded on the cover

“Dean, we're here!” Kat heard Sam yell “We're gonna get you out!”

Above them, there was a loud commotion, like someone had been thrown across the ceiling above them.

“Sam?!” Dean shouted “SAMMY?!”

“Who's Sam?” Honor asked Kat

“Our reinforcement,” Kat said “Dean, maybe there's a way to pry open the lid?”

Dean looked around the cover and found a large screw, hidden by rust.

“Screw driver anyone?” he called.

Honor grabbed the medical kit in front of her and sifted through it, finding a pair of scissors.

“Here,” she said and got up, she ran to the base of the ladder and gave them to Dean “from the first aid kit.”

Dean nodded and used the handle of the scissors to turn the rusty old screws loose.

“Come on, come on,” he muttered to himself as he heard quite the ruckus going on mere feet from his head. He heard Jody scream and Sam yelling which only made his imagination kick into over drive with what awful things were happening to them. The last screw came loose as he heard another scream and saw a flash of blue and white light. Dean shoved his shoulder into the cover once and then twice before it popped loose and he climbed half way out of the hole, only to see Jody with a bloody nose, blood on her shirt and Sam looking like he'd rolled in hay and dirt.

“What'd we miss?” Dean asked.

“Um, HELLO!?” Kat yelled “Is anyone dead?!”

Dean looked around and saw Bonnie on the floor, not moving

“Yeah, but no one important.” Dean yelled down to her. Dean crawled out of the hole and Kat sent Honor, Barb and Neil up before she climbed out.

“So, it was BONNIE?” Barb asked, seeing Bonnie's corpse on the floor “This whole time?”

“Technically,” Jody said before Sam cut her off

“Yeah, it was Bonnie,” he interjected “she was pretty pissed about you guys breaking your chastity vows.”

Dean helped Kat climb out of the hole before looking her over.

“You okay?” he asked, cupping her face in his hands and she gave him a gentle smile.

“I'm fine,” she told him as Sam shepherded Honor, Barb and Neil out of the barn “really, I am.”

“I'm sorry, but who is this?” Jody asked when she saw Dean holding Kat's face in his hands, her brown eyes sparkling with delight. Dean cleared his throat, dropped his hands from Kat's face and stepped to the side.

“Jody, this is Katlynn,” Dean said “Katlynn, Jody.”

Kat's eyes lit up in recognition.

“YOU'RE Jody? Jody Mills?!” Kat asked enthusiastically

“I guess my reputation precedes me?” Jody asked

“Sam and Dean have told me so much about you!” Kat said excitedly “I'd hug you, but you look pretty banged up and I don't want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, you got that right.” Jody said

“Let's get her back to the motel,” Kat suggested “I'll patch her up and you guys can fill us in on what we missed.”

Back at the motel, Kat was able to patch up Jody with almost no problems. Kat set up a makeshift table on the roll away bed they requested for Jody and Kat was sitting in one of the chairs while Sam held Jody's hand and Dean looked on.

“This one is a keeper,” Jody said weakly as Kat finished sewing up her wound “good bedside manner, gentle, and she supplies whiskey.”

Dean's chest puffed out a little with pride as Kat smiled.

“I do what I can,” Kat said “So, a goddess named Vesta huh?”

“People laid virgins at her feet like flowers back in the day,” Sam said “as long as her fire was lit, Rome would have a good harvest.”

“Let me guess,” Dean said, sipping his beer “they let her fire go out and she was pissed?”

“All because of a hippie from Bethlehem,” Jody said as Kat tied off her stitches “her words, not mine.”

“All right Sheriff Mills,” Kat said “good as new.”

“Thanks, really.” Jody said and sat up gingerly.

The next morning, after putting Jody's arm in a sling, Kat watched as the boys hugged Jody good bye.

“Here, I'll help you with your stuff.” Kat offered and took Jody's bags from her hands.

“Well these knuckleheads won't, so I'll take you up on that.” Jody said and Kat laughed. They walked outside together and Kat loaded Jody's things into the back of her truck. “Thanks again for the patch job,” Jody told Kat “You did a great job.”

“Thanks Jody.” Kat said and stuck her hand out.

“Nah, anyone that sews my skin back together gets a hug.” Jody said and wrapped her free arm around Kat's shoulders, squeezing her. Kat hugged her back, careful not to squeeze her too hard. “Those boys give you any trouble, you call me.” Jody said and Kat laughed

“You're first on the short list,” Kat said and they parted “it's nice to meet another female hunter.”

“Hey, I'm new in the game,” Jody said “but if you ever need an ear, you have mine.” and she handed Kat one of her cards.

“Thanks, again.” Kat said and hugged Jody one last time before walking back to the motel room. She nearly ran into Sam, who had his bags in his arms. He gave Kat a tight lipped smile and walked past her. Slightly put off, Kat backed away before seeing that Dean was still in the motel room. Kat walked in, the door automatically shutting behind her. She looked at Dean for a few long seconds, seeing the look on his face properly for the first time. He looked scared and upset. At first, he wouldn't meet her gaze, he kept hurriedly packing his things. Kat didn't press him, she finished stuffing the last few things into her bag as she heard Dean zip up his bag behind her. She heard him walk up behind her and could feel his body heat behind her. She turned around to look at him; his expression had changed. He still looked scared and upset, but there was something else lingering in his eyes. Something that begged for reassurance. She reached up and gently cupped his cheek in her hand, giving him a soft smile.

“I'm here if you need me.” she told him quietly.

His lower lip trembled for half a second before he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

They stayed like that for a little bit before they gathered their bags. Kat walked out of the room, ahead of Dean and when he turned around after closing the door, she was taking the ring she'd been wearing off her left hand.

“Forget something?” he asked, nodding to her hand and she laughed

“Yeah, I did.” she said and stuffed it into her bag.

“What're you gonna do with it?” he asked and she shrugged

“Put it in a jewelry box I guess? I don't know, it's a cheap-o ring from WalMart so it doesn't really matter.” she said, but something in his eyes made her stop. “Does it mean something to you?”

He fidgeted, but didn't answer her right away.

“It was just nice,” he said with a sigh “that's all.”

“What?” she asked, “The ring or seeing it on my finger?”

“The ring.” he quickly answered. He knew he was lying to her and himself when he said it. But he couldn't bring himself to say the words. “It shouldn't go to waste in a jewelry box is all I'm saying.”

She grinned and took the ring out, placing it on her right hand.

“There,” she said “it won't go to waste any more.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hope you guys enjoyed that!!!!! Like and share with your followers and give that follow button a tap if you wanna see more content from me! My tag lists are wide open; The Squad is the “forever & everything” list, I also have one for this series AND one for Jensen/ Dean!

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zelamorre · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia Additional Tags: Coming Out Summary:

Noctis decides that it is about time he seek his father's permission to make his relationship with Ignis official.

Written for @merruschka for @ignoctsecretsanta 2018. (Sorry it’s late. Apparently my Tumblr post didn’t go through earlier, and I was off making merry. So now you get both AO3 link and Tumblr fic.)

You can read on Tumblr under the cut!

Noctis wasn’t known as being the most thoughtful of people. Ignis spent a lot of time defending him to various and sundry news outlets and politicians. And Noctis more than appreciated Ignis’s work on that front. He also appreciated how Ignis would try to pretend like it was no big deal even though it was.

That was kind of the downside of dating somebody who was technically your employee but also one of your closest friends. At least it was as far as Noct could tell. Or maybe it was just an Ignis thing. For all that Gladio was supposed to be his shield, Ignis would probably climb over Gladio on his way to taking a bullet for Noctis.

Which, on the one hand, was touching. On the other hand, Noctis should probably have a talk with Ignis about the hovering. Because Ignis was going to work himself ragged one of these days. And Noct really didn’t want that. For one thing, he loved Ignis. He was very concerned with Ignis’s well-being.

For another thing, he was at least fifty-percent dependent on Ignis when it came to matters of state. Ignis throwing himself into danger on Noct’s behalf was very noble and romantic. But it also had the side effect of royally fucking Noctis over should anything actually happen to Ignis. The most immediate concern was, thankfully, less physical and more political in nature.

There were… rumors going around that Ignis wasn’t being the most circumspect of chamberlains. Noctis was offended on Spec’s behalf because Ignis would die before being improper. But Ignis was more or less fatalistic about it. He seemed to be waiting for the right opportunity to throw himself upon his sword on Noctis’s behalf.

And he was waiting because the rumors were true. Not the whole, “Ignis Scientia is a filthy mongrel who has insidiously reached far above his station and attempted to manipulate the chosen king!” rumors. But the filthy sex rumors? Those were true. Those were really, really true. On most days, Noctis was very happy they were true because there was only so much that his imagination could satisfy him. The real thing was so much better than any fantasy.

But today, he was less than happy about those rumors. It was one thing to mumble his never dying love to Ignis. Sweet and eternally sappy words whispered into a bare shoulder in the dark of night had a sort of mystical shield around them.

The stark lighting of his father’s office offered no such comforts. Noctis had no idea how he might feel about the rumors being true… or at least partly true. Even though their period of estrangement was, for the most part, over, Noctis had never been able to discuss subjects of a more delicate nature with him.

Regis was a busy man. There was a war on. There was a Crystal sucking away his father’s life essence with every breath. There were politicians to assuage and deaths to grieve. There were expectations that were supposed to be sitting upon the prince’s shoulders.

Some of those expectations didn’t jive well with the announcement of, “Hey, Dad. I’m in love with another man.” Noctis had spent many a morning, night, and afternoon thinking about how he was going to broach the subject with his father. For all that he knew it needed to be done, there was no way he could make himself feel at ease at the thought of it.

Any number of things could happen once he laid out the truth before him. He could be shipped off to the nearest princess and be married before the day was over. Even Luna might be eschewed in favor of somebody more geographically convenient.

Part of Noctis wanted to run as far away from the impending conversation as he possibly could. That was the problem. He wanted to run and hide.

And if he did, Ignis would let him. For all Iggy’s seeming rigidity, he would let Noctis get by with anything. His formality hid a soft heart, and at least half that heart was devoted to Noctis. The rest was occupied with things like caring for their friends, the kingdom of Lucis, and what fashions were in season. Because as much as Noctis might be in love with the guy, Ignis was not a perfect saint.

In any case, Ignis wouldn’t object if Noctis decided he couldn’t tell his father. Ignis was even more bound by court protocol than Noctis was. He’d do what people had done for centuries. He’d bite his tongue, smile at Noctis’s marriage to some suitable woman, and quietly leave his position when the strain became too much to handle.

Noctis wasn’t about to ask that of him. Selfishly, he also wasn’t going to let that happen to him. So there was really only one thing to do. Make an appointment with his dad behind Ignis’s back. Because even if it blew up in his face, he could at least spare Ignis the problem of worrying about what was going to happen before it did.

“His Majesty will see you now,” one of the stewards said.

Noctis swallowed and entered his father’s office. He really didn’t spend much time in the room. Family arguments were held in his father’s private chambers. Official ceremonies, important debates, and royal biddings in the throne room. The office was where mundane things were decided.

“Noctis,” his father greeted him. He sounded tired. Looked even worse.

Guilt crept up Noctis’s spine as he looked at his father. He was about to lay even more burdens on his shoulders. All because he didn’t want to have them upon his own. This… this was why Ignis would never be the one to insist on being formally acknowledged. It was against his very being to cause undue stress to the crown.

Thankfully, Noctis had years of being the “spoiled brat of a prince” to fall back upon in the moment.

“Dad,” Noctis grunted out as he tried not to fidget.

“It’s rare that you come to see me here. Especially to discuss,” Regis paused to flip through his appointments, “duckies?”

“Yeah, uh. I don’t really want to discuss ducks,” Noctis admitted. “I just needed to put something in before Ignis realized I was messing around on his phone.”

“Well, much as I regret losing the opportunity to speak about mallards and other water fowl, I suppose I am more interested in why you didn’t just ask Ignis to make the appointment for you. Last I checked, it was one of his appointed duties. And given that Ignis tends to greatly overcompensate by doing tasks that are not officially his, I’d be surprised if he refused to perform one that is.”

Noctis swallowed. Trust his dad to at least get in the right vicinity of his true purpose so quickly. “Yeah. Uh, it’s about Ignis.”

“Ah,” was all his father said in reply.

All the words that Noctis had prepared seemed to fly out of his brain. Which was fine because prepared speeches really weren’t his thing. They were necessary evils of being born into royalty. But Ignis wasn’t just a duty.

“I’m in love with him,” Noctis said with as much firmness as he could muster.

“Which him?” Regis shot back quickly. There was no heat in his voice, nor was there disappointment. He might as well have been inquiring about the weather.

“Ignis?” Noctis answered.

“You’re not sure?”

“No! I am, I just…”

“Well, that is a relief at least,” Regis said, sparing him from his misery. “I take it this infatuation of yours is mutual?”

“Yes. And it’s not an infatuation,” Noctis corrected.

Regis smiled at that. “I thought as much. You wouldn’t have made an official appointment if you just needed to discuss your longing pains. It may come as a shock to you, but this is quite a relief to hear.”

Now Noctis was confused. “It is?”

“My son, you are very far from subtle. How should I put this? You enjoy the company of your friend group a little too much for there not to be something going on.”

“What?” the word crept out of Noctis, bringing all his mortification with it.

“There was a great debate as to who was going to be threatened with murder. Clarus has been in a rage about it for months because he was certain that Gladiolus was breaking his sacred shield duties or some such. Of course, he was also planning to threaten Prompto’s parents with murder should he be your paramour. I think he’ll be quite disappointed that it’s Ignis.”

“Because he doesn’t have some sort of bizarre murder scenario planned out for him? Also, why are all his plans murder plans?”

“All Amicitia plans eventually end with murder. Clarus is just more direct than his son is.”

“Great,” Noctis drawled. “And why isn’t he going to threaten to murder Ignis? And why are you okay with this? Are you okay with this?”

“Because Clarus has been around long enough to know that Scientia’s really don’t care if they get threatened with murder. That and I expressly forbid it. I am rather fond of Ignis. He’s respectful. Intelligent. And apparently fucking my son.”

“DAD!”

“You can’t begrudge me a bit of fun, Noctis. You’re not the one who needs to give a speech to the council about all this. Although, I am tempted to make you sit through it.” Regis sobered a second later, his face growing serious. “Noctis, I have only ever wanted your happiness. I know well the prices you must pay to be king. I know the weights that fall upon your shoulders. This will not be the easiest of roads, but I will do what I can to smooth it for you. If you’re seeking my blessing, you have it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Noctis whispered.

Regis gave him a sad smile. “Your brevity will serves you well. Although, If I might give you a bit of relationship advice, be more verbose with your apologies.”

“Apologies for what?” Noctis asked.

“You would agree that your paramour is intelligent, yes? Diligent as well?” Regis asked.

“You know Ignis is,” Noctis replied.

“Then did it not occur to you that he might notice a change in your schedule that he did not make?” Regis asked with nonchalance.

Put that way, it did sound kind of stupid.

“He’s been pacing out in the hallway ever since you came in here,” Regis said. “I don’t remember the last time he was quite so agitated. Though, I am certain it was about you then too. Don’t break his heart, Noctis. It would be a great deal of trouble to replace him.”

“I won’t,” Noctis promised. “Or, at least I’ll try not to.”

“I suppose that’s all I can ask,” Regis allowed. “Have a good day, my son. Or at least, as good of a day as you can. Also, please wait to make up until you are in a suitably private area.”

“Right, you too,” Noctis said by way of farewell. His father’s laugh chased him out into the hallway.

He all but collided with Ignis. The look on his face was both angry and terrified. Noctis opened his mouth to reassure him, but Ignis slapped a hand over it.

“Not one word,” he warned as his other hand curled around Noctis’s arm. He started dragging Noctis through the Citadel’s halls.

Having lived in the place for several years, it became apparent to Noctis that they were going to his private chambers. Noctis doubted it was so they could make out. Which was sad because he now had royal approval to make out, and they should be taking advantage of that.

The doors to his chambers had barely closed before Ignis started ranting. “I cannot believe you went behind my back. I cannot believe you used my phone to write ‘duckies’ onto the king’s royal appointment book! I cannot believe you didn’t think to tell me or consult me or…”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Noctis interrupted.

“Well you did a bloody bad job of that!” Ignis yelled. “Congratulations! How does it feel to be a failure, Your Highness?”

“Okay, first off, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first. I thought it’d be easier for you this way. Second, I thought we agreed no royal titles in the relationship thing because it’s weird.”

Ignis frowned at him, but took a controlled breath before speaking. “I have always shared your burdens. I am not me if I don’t. I expect you to share them with me. More importantly, I expect you to share decisions with me about our relationship. It is mine as well as yours.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Noctis said. “I should’ve talked to you about it. And I shouldn’t have used your phone to write that on my dad’s schedule.”

“Fine. Well. I suppose I should ask what His Majesty had to say about all this.” Ignis gestured between them with a vague hand motion.

“Well, he said that he forbade Clarus from murdering you. And he said I should apologize for thinking you were stupid enough not to notice. And he gave his blessing,” Noctis recapped.

“Please,” Ignis scoffed, “His Majesty needn’t have bothered. Clarus is showing his age. Murder. What a bizarre thing to even think to threaten me with. Does he know nothing about me?”

“Okay, well. Gotta admit that wasn’t the part I was hoping you’d focus on,” Noctis said.

“No, you were hoping I’d focus on the blessing part because you were hoping I’d be so ecstatic I’d forgive you for doing this behind my back, take you to a secluded, and then express my joy through various and sundry carnal acts,” Ignis explained.

“Well, not in those exact words,” Noctis defended himself. “But the forgiving part might be nice.”

“Only the forgiving part?” Ignis asked. “I must be losing my objectivity after all. Either that or you need to work on your powers of observation.”

“What?” Noctis asked.

Ignis reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His glasses arcing up over the fingers that displaced their nose pincers. “You are so very lucky that I’m in love with you and willing to overlook your moments of stupidity. And also that I’m young enough that I still listen to my dick. There’s a bed in the adjoining room, Noctis. Because it’s a bedroom. Your bedroom. Bedrooms are typically secluded locations.”

“Right. So various and sundry carnal acts?” Noctis asked.

“Indeed,” Ignis agreed.

“Is this you joyful? Because you look kind of like you always look,” Noctis pointed out.

“Perhaps if you follow me, you’ll find out,” Ignis said with a smirk. He sauntered away with a sway to his hips that had to be intentional.

Noctis wasn’t about to pass up that kind of opportunity.

#ignoct #ignoct secret santa

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friend-clarity · 7 years

Text

Marriage and The Matrix

Washington Post, 7 September 2017, In major Supreme Court case, Justice Dept. sides with baker who refused to make wedding cake for gay couple

In a major upcoming Supreme Court case that weighs equal rights with religious liberty, the Trump administration on Thursday sided with a Colorado baker who refused to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple.

The Department of Justice on Thursday filed a brief on behalf of baker Jack Phillips, who was found to have violated the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act by refusing to created a cake to celebrate the marriage of Charlie Craig and David Mullins in 2012. Phillips said he doesn’t create wedding cakes for same-sex couples because it would violate his religious beliefs.

The government agreed with Phillips that his cakes are a form of expression, and he cannot be compelled to use his talents for something in which he does not believe.

Is the postmodern world upside down? Yes, answers philosopher Edward Feser.

Indeed, the parallel with the Matrix scenario is even closer than what I’ve said so far suggests, for the implications of “same-sex marriage” are very radically skeptical. The reason is this: We cannot make sense of the world’s being intelligible at all, or of the human intellect’s ability to understand it, unless we affirm a classical essentialist and teleological metaphysics. But applying that metaphysics to the study of human nature entails a classical natural law understanding of ethics. And that understanding of ethics in turn yields, among other things, a traditional account of sexual morality that rules out “same-sex marriage” in principle. Hence, to defend “same-sex marriage” you have to reject natural law, which in turn requires rejecting a classical essentialist and teleological metaphysics, which in turn undermines the possibility of making intelligible either the world or the mind’s ability to understand it. (Needles to say, these are large claims, but I’ve defended them all at length in various places. For interested readers, the best place to start is, again, with the Neo-Scholastic Essays article.)

Marriage and The Matrix

Edward Feser June 29, 2015

Suppose a bizarre skeptic seriously proposed -- not as a joke, not as dorm room bull session fodder, but seriously -- that you, he, and everyone else were part of a computer-generated virtual reality like the one featured in the science-fiction movie The Matrix. Suppose he easily shot down the arguments you initially thought sufficient to refute him. He might point out, for instance, that your appeals to what we know from common sense and science have no force, since they are (he insists) just part of the Matrix-generated illusion. Suppose many of your friends were so impressed by this skeptic’s ability to defend his strange views -- and so unimpressed by your increasingly flustered responses -- that they came around to his side. Suppose they got annoyed with you for not doing the same, and started to question your rationality and even your decency. Your adherence to commonsense realism in the face of the skeptic’s arguments is, they say, just irrational prejudice.

No doubt you would think the world had gone mad, and you’d be right. But you would still find it difficult to come up with arguments that would convince the skeptic and his followers. The reason is not that their arguments are rationally and evidentially superior to yours, but on the contrary because they are so subversive of all rationality and evidence -- indeed, far more subversive than the skeptic and his followers themselves realize -- that you’d have trouble getting your bearings, and getting the skeptics to see that they had lost theirs. If the skeptic were correct, not even his own arguments would be any good -- their apparent soundness could be just another illusion generated by the Matrix, making the whole position self-undermining. Nor could he justifiably complain about your refusing to agree with him, nor take any delight in your friends’ agreement, since for all he knew both you and they might be Matrix-generated fictions anyway.

So, the skeptic’s position is ultimately incoherent. But rhetorically he has an advantage. With every move you try to make, he can simply refuse to concede the assumptions you need in order to make it, leaving you constantly scrambling to find new footing. He will in the process be undermining his own position too, because his skepticism is so radical it takes down everything, including what he needs in order to make his position intelligible. But it will be harder to see this at first, because he is playing offense and you are playing defense. It falsely seems that you are the one making all the controversial assumptions whereas he is assuming nothing. Hence, while your position is in factrationally superior, it is the skeptic’s position that will, perversely, appear to be rationally superior. People bizarrely give him the benefit of the doubt and put the burden of proof on you.

This, I submit, is the situation defenders of traditional sexual morality are in vis-à-vis the proponents of “same-sex marriage.” The liberal position is a kind of radical skepticism, a calling into question of something that has always been part of common sense, viz. that marriage is inherently heterosexual. Like belief in the reality of the external world -- or in the reality of the past, or the reality of other minds, or the reality of change, or any other part of common sense that philosophical skeptics have challenged -- what makes the claim in question hard to justify is not that it is unreasonable, but, on the contrary, that it has always been regarded as a paradigm of reasonableness. Belief in the external world (or the past, or other minds, or change, etc.) has always been regarded as partially constitutive of rationality. Hence, when some philosophical skeptic challenges it precisely in the name of rationality, the average person doesn’t know what to make of the challenge. Disoriented, he responds with arguments that seem superficial, question-begging, dogmatic, or otherwise unimpressive. Similarly, heterosexuality has always been regarded as constitutive of marriage. Hence, when someone proposes that there can be such a thing as same-sexmarriage, the average person is, in this case too, disoriented, and responds with arguments that appear similarly unimpressive.

Like the skeptic about the external world (or the past, or other minds, or change, etc.) the “same-sex marriage” advocate typically says things he has no right to say consistent with his skeptical arguments. For example, if “same-sex marriage” is possible, why not incestuous marriage, or group marriage, or marriage to an animal, or marriage to a robot, or marriage to oneself? A more radical application of the “same-sex marriage” advocate’s key moves can always be deployed by a yet more radical skeptic in order to defend these proposals. Yet “same-sex marriage” advocates typically deny that they favor such proposals. If appeal to the natural ends or proper functions of our faculties has no moral significance, then why should anyone care about whether anyone’s arguments -- including arguments either for or against “same-sex marriage” -- are any good? The “same-sex marriage” advocate can hardly respond “But finding and endorsing sound arguments is what reason is for!”, since he claims that what our natural faculties and organs are naturally for is irrelevant to how we might legitimately choose to use them. Indeed, he typically denies that our faculties and organs, or anything else for that matter, are really for anything. Teleology, he claims, is an illusion. But then it is an illusion that reason itself is really for anything, including arriving at truth. In which case the “same-sex marriage” advocate has no business criticizing others for giving “bigoted” or otherwise bad arguments. (Why shouldn’t someone give bigoted arguments if reason does not have truth as its natural end? What if someone is just born with an orientation toward giving bigoted arguments?) If the “same-sex marriage” advocate appeals to current Western majority opinion vis-à-vis homosexuality as a ground for his condemnation of what he labels “bigotry,” then where does he get off criticizing pastWestern majority opinion vis-à-vis homosexuality, or current non-Western moral opinion vis-à-vis homosexuality? Etc. etc.

So, the “same-sex marriage” advocate’s position is ultimately incoherent. Pushed through consistently, it takes down everything, including itself. But rhetorically it has the same advantages as Matrix-style skepticism. The “same-sex marriage” advocate is playing offense, and only calling things into doubt -- albeit selectively and inconsistently -- rather than putting forward any explicit positive position of his own, so that it falsely seems that it is only his opponent who is making controversial assumptions.

Now, no one thinks the average person’s inability to give an impressive response to skepticism about the external world (or about the reality of the past, or other minds, etc.) makes it irrational for him to reject such skepticism. And as it happens, even most highly educated people have difficulty adequately responding to external world skepticism. If you ask the average natural scientist, or indeed even the average philosophy professor, to explain to you how to refute Cartesian skepticism, you’re not likely to get an answer that a clever philosopher couldn’t poke many holes in. You almost have to be a philosopher who specializes in the analysis of radical philosophical skepticism really to get at the heart of what is wrong with it. The reason is that such skepticism goes so deep in its challenge to our everyday understanding of notions like rationality, perception, reality, etc. that only someone who has thought long and carefully about those very notions is going to be able to understand and respond to the challenge. The irony is that it turns out, then, that very few people can give a solid, rigorous philosophical defense of what everyone really knows to be true. But it hardly follows that the commonsense belief in the external world can be rationally held only by those few people.

The same thing is true of the average person’s inability to give an impressive response to the “same-sex marriage” advocate’s challenge. It is completely unsurprising that this should be the case, just as it is unsurprising that the average person lacks a powerful response to the Matrix-style skeptic. In fact, as with commonsense realism about the external world, so too with traditional sexual morality, in the nature of the case relatively few people -- basically, traditional natural law theorists -- are going to be able to set out the complete philosophical defense of what the average person has, traditionally, believed. But it doesn’t follow that the average person can’t be rational in affirming traditional sexual morality. (For an exposition and defense of the traditional natural law approach, see “In Defense of the Perverted Faculty Argument,” in Neo-Scholastic Essays .)

Obviously, though, the radically skeptical implications are less direct in the case of “same-sex marriage” than they are in the Matrix scenario, which is why most people don’t see them. And there is another difference. There are lots of people who believe in “same-sex marriage,” but very few people who seriously entertain the Matrix hypothesis. But imagine there was some kind of intense sensory pleasure associated with pretending that you were in the Matrix. Suppose also that some people just had, for whatever reason -- environmental influences, heredity, or whatever -- a deep-seated tendency to take pleasure in the idea that they were living in a Matrix-style reality. Then, I submit, lots of people would insist that we take the Matrix scenario seriously and some would even accuse those who scornfully rejected the idea of being insensitive bigots. (Compare the points made in a recent post in which I discussed the special kind of irrationality people are prone to where sex is concerned, due to the intense pleasure associated with it.)

So, let’s add to my original scenario this further supposition -- that you are not only surrounded by people who take the Matrix theory seriously and scornfully dismiss your arguments against it, but some of them have a deep-seated tendency to take intense sensory pleasure in the idea that they live in the Matrix. That, I submit, is the situation defenders of traditional sexual morality are in vis-à-vis the proponents of “same-sex marriage.” Needless to say, it’s a pretty bad situation to be in.

But it’s actually worse even than that. For suppose our imagined Matrix skeptic and his followers succeeded in intimidating a number of corporations into endorsing and funding their campaign to get the Matrix theory widely accepted, to propagandize for it in movies and television shows, etc. Suppose mobs of Matrix theorists occasionally threatened to boycott or even burn down bakeries, restaurants, etc. which refused to cater the meetings of Matrix theorists. Suppose they stopped even listening to the defenders of commonsense realism, but just shouted “Bigot! Bigot! Bigot!” in response to any expression of disagreement. Suppose the Supreme Court of the United States declared that agreement with the Matrix theory is required by the Constitution, and opined that adherence to commonsense realism stems from an irrational animus against Matrix theorists.

In fact, the current position of opponents of “same-sex marriage” is worse even than that. Consider once again your situation as you try to reason with Matrix theorists and rebut their increasingly aggressive attempts to impose their doctrine via economic and political force. Suppose that as you look around, you notice that some of your allies are starting to slink away from the field of battle. One of them says: “Well, you know, we have sometimes been very insulting to believers in the Matrix theory. Who can blame them for being angry at us? Maybe we should focus more on correcting our own attitudes and less on changing their minds.” Another suggests: “Maybe we’ve been talking too much about this debate between the Matrix theory and commonsense realism. We sound like we’re obsessed with it. Maybe we should talk about something else instead, like poverty or the environment.” A third opines: “We can natter on about philosophy all we want, but the bottom line is that scripture says that the world outside our minds is real. The trouble is that we’ve gotten away from the Bible. Maybe we should withdraw into our own faith communities and just try to live our biblically-based belief in external reality the best we can.”

Needless to say, all of this is bound only to make things worse. The Matrix theory advocate will smell blood, regarding these flaccid avowals as tacit admissions that commonsense realism about the external world really has no rational basis but is simply a historically contingent prejudice grounded in religious dogma. And in your battle with the Matrix theorists you’ll have discovered, as many “same-sex marriage” opponents have, that iron law of politics: that when you try to fight the Evil Party you soon find that most of your allies are card-carrying members of the Stupid Party.

So, things look pretty bad. But like the defender of our commonsense belief in the external world, the opponent of “same-sex marriage” has at least one reliable ally on his side: reality. And reality absolutely always wins out in the end. It always wins at least partially even in the short run -- no one ever is or could be a consistent skeptic -- and wins completely in the long run. The trouble is just that the enemies of reality, though doomed, can do a hell of lot of damage in the meantime.

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