#ya gotta curate your own online experience

[acedia-blankly]

SPOILERS FOR SHARP OBJECTS EPISODE ONE AND THE NOVEL/PLOT IN GENERAL BELOW THE ASTERISKS, WHICH ARE Y'KNOW, GILLIAN FLYNN TYPE SHIT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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This is a liveblog/reaction to sharp objects, the tv series not the book.

I've read the book several times over the years, most recently in a mental hospital after a breakdown. No, I don't know why on earth I was allowed to have it with me. I relate to Camille more than I'd like, excluding the murders and sexuality, which i suppose rather differentiates us. I rather feel like the metaphorical AC to her DC, so to speak.

Jesus, Camille's a wreck. A severe alcoholic sent to her hometown to sniff out a story of a serial killer whose snuffing out little girls and dumping them around town, with about a year between killing. First Ann Nash then Natalie Keene, and Camille sticks her nose in everything she can about the case. She badgers the cops, the families, everything and everyone she can, which causes more than a few arguments and a lot of strain with Adora, her mother and the employer of much of the town. I'll talk more about Camille in a bit, but first lets touch on her family, the people I found msot interesting in wind gap, starting with her wonderful mother.

Fuck, Adora's a miserable shrew of a woman. She reminds me of my aunt in how she needles, dresses, and wears her makeup in a similar manner. It's freaky, and not at all helped by the horrid way she treats Camille and Amma. Equal parts infantiziling and infuriating, her actions suggest a social diva who commands utter control of her home and social image. Everything from her picture-perfect house (mirrored in a certain dollhouse that Amma shows Camille) to the time capsule she's made of Marian's room screams "total control freak". She's still got the empty IV stand and doll dresses laid out like Marian's just stepped out for tea, rather than ashes.

Amma is... Well, we haven't really gotten much of a taste of her yet. I must've missed her in the crowd of teenagers that raided Natalie's shrine, but she was there, and later acts eerily possessive and close to Camille in what seems to be just a typical teenaged attmept to avoid punishment and look cool in front of an older sibling she doesn't know.

Alan was a surprise, since all I remember of him from the novel is a grey, unemotive man who let Adora run roughshod over everything. He's got a bit of a spine here, actually standing up to Adora a few times on minor arguments. Curious to see if he'll keep it up. Not a change I was expecting, but I could also be misremembering him.

Marian: for a dead girl, she sure takes pride of place in the story, a throbbing, aching wound that Camille tries and fails to treat with chemicals and years of avoidance. A sickly girl who died in her teens, we see flashbacks of her (dressed as a doll in contrast to her sister) ending with her funeral, where she's wearing a shade of pink lipstick that really doesn't fit her, which is as good a bridge as any to return to Camille.

Camille: if you've made it this far, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Camille is a woman one step away from the deep, and she clearly knows it. There's alcohol soaked all over her life like a bad stain, mostly absolut vodka, a cheap brand that many serial alcoholics drink, my family members included. Shit burns like fire goign down but she chugs a good sized plastic flask/bottle of it without flinching. Granted, Amy Adams was probably just drinking water on set, good considering how fucking hot sets get. She delivers a wonderful performance, showing Camille as the slowly burning train wreck of ptsd and chemical dependency she is, covered in scars.

Camille carves words into her skin much more legibly and widespread than I've ever managed, and I'm a human charcutierie board these days. Y'know that thing where shows put the title of episode into somehow? Yeah, Camille's got "Vanish" on her right forearm, the title of the first episode. We see her in the bath or shower a lot, actually, usually with her body submerged entirely. She also masturbates during a flashback to a weird lodge filled with porn and bloody strips of meat, at least that's what I think those were.

I haven't really touched on the mystery or the people of wind gap not related to Camille because they didn't really get my attention, but I took 3.5k worth of notes during episode one, and noticed the homophobia. The show really hits us over the head with the small town bigotry throughout the episode, from the bartender to the father of Ann Nash. I'd kinda forgotten about the level of homophobia, and was a bit startled by it.

Moving to the murders, we don't get any information about either body I think, just a shot of Natalie's dumped body, which, how does one dump a body of a teenaged girl in an alleyway in a small town and not be seen? Small towns are nosey as shit, I would know, I spent 13 years living in one. Natalie's mouth has a lot of blood coming from it, and she's pretty dirty, but has a bandage on her knee. Bit of an odd thing for a murderer to give her, but she might've had it before she got grabbed.

Overall rating for the episode: 4/5 stars so far, review may change after I finish the show. I intend on one episode a night. I enjoyed Camille and Amma's interactions, found the homophobia rightfully irritating and familiar (the joys of small-town America are not so different from Missouri to Indiana), but found the actual murders to be lacking in detail for now, which makes sense but is also frustrating. Camille is just a bit too familiar for my comfort, which is a theme with anything Flynn's made.

Her works are dark and slippery, rich with the quiet tensions of dysfunctional families and buried traumas that always come to light. Theres something comforting but revolting about it, like sitting down at a seedy bar and knowing the drinks are probably watered down, but accepting the rotten deal for what it is because it's the best you'll get here. Kinda like a family reunion, actually. But uh, I don't think the Crellin-Preaker bunch (now that would be a sitcom, huh?) Is the sterling example of family by any means. Still, I'm eager and afraid of the roller coaster to come. I'm not claiming to have perfectly watched this episode, nor did I exhaustively go through my notes for this (I'm not confirming whether or not I made quotes in Chicago format [the one True and Rightfully Used Format of Quotation, may all nonbelievers perish in the trenches of MLA and APA format] for fun. Cause only weirdos do that, right, and I'm all normal-like)

P.S. I apparently called Curry a "Santa-wannabe" in my notes. He kinda twisted and turned in my opinion, going from a dick to a nice guy and back again, but I enjoyed him as a character and want to see more. I can't say more for chief Vickery, the detective (whose name I managed to miss and I don't intend to look it up) or the bartender, all of whom have a machismo and swagger that clashes poorly with Camille in different ways. Vickery cares more about the town's reputation than potentially solving the murders, the detective is trying not to mix business with pleasure with Camille, and the bartender is typical small town trash, gleefully hateful and all too happy to share that he's illegally serving beers to Natalie's brother, which the detective ignores as well, for some reason. Most likely to avoid the town turning on him. One doesn't fuck with the guys who give out the alcohol.

#liveblog #sharp objects #spoilers #sharp objects spoilers #canon typical topics #marking this mature and calling it good tag wise #ya know what yer in for #or google is free #theres lotsa trigger warning list sites out there #ya gotta curate your own online experience

[rahleeyah]

As always, Leah, you make excelent points. I never saw SVU doing anything to tarnish E/EO's dynamic at all. If anything, I thing it leans further into this love of theirs, tragic as it may be. That said, after spending a few months on svu twt, I get why so many ppl end up feeling this way. It goes back to WL making EO fans targets for no apparent reason, those blocking sprees make many fans angry. And when you're angry, you can't really see things with a clear head, can ya?

this is one of the things about twitter, is that it's an echo chamber. even more so than tumblr, i think. the way it organizes which posts you see, and from who, and how it feeds you more and more of the same stuff, the actual algorithm of the website puts blinders on everything, you know? that's not the fault of the people who use it. but negative emotions generate more clicks, and negative emotions push us to speak out, and twitter moves so fucking quick you have to be fast to get your thoughts out, so a lot of the posts are reactionary, and pointed in one direction. it's a totally different way of approaching these conversations than what i'm used to and i gotta say i'm not a fan.

and my thing is like. i support people blocking people. i have talked about this before, how i think that we have to curate our own experiences online, and if that means blocking people, block 'em! and now WL is doing that. and the thing is - let him. he isn't listening to any opinion that differs from his, anyway. even if he didn't block people, their words wouldn't have an impact on him, except to make him angry and go on tirades. and yeah, that means people can't see his posts now, but why would we want to? when all it does is make us angry? there is nothing productive in that exchange. he wants to live in a bubble, i say let him. the more people he blocks the fewer people he can qrt with his aggressive bullshit.

i understand that people are upset, and i am sorry for the hurt that he has caused, but also like. i very much think fandom works best when it is separate from the creators. we're all better off keeping those two worlds apart. yes, ideally, there would be positive interaction between the two but there so often isn't, and so i'm happier not engaging with him. it's like. if we let him pitch a fit and didn't respond, the next time he might not even bother. as long as we're rising to the bait he's gonna keep getting defensive, and it's never gonna stop. we gotta move on.

he's just one guy. he's not the only one making decisions, he's not the only one writing episodes. his word-of-god bts takes don't serve the canon in a meaningful way. the author is dead i don't care what he has to say.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

[stillebesat]

hi, I just stumbled into this discourse. I have no idea what’s going on. but like: why did they even have to send an anon in the first place? They could have blocked you. Taken 10 seconds to press a button than to cause all this for days on end. Will people please use the block button? It’s so easy and works %100 of the time. You curate your own online experiences, not random people online. People are so sensitive these days. -sincerely, someone who’s dash is full of stupid discourse

Hello there! :D Sorry that our interaction involves discourse but yah know...sometimes the thing just isn’t avoidable despite the best of intentions. Y_Y;; This particular one started when I was sent an ask asking to do something and I said No. Apparently some people don’t like being told no. :(  In any case! Yep. It’s definitely important to take actions to curate your own online experience without having to fully rely on others to do so for you. Whether it’s unfollowing, blocking, or ignoring. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do to keep yourself happy. :D:( :( :( I am sorry anon that your dash is full of discourse. It seems to be the season for it. But hopefully with the new year approaching (or the new year starting if you’ve already passed midnight) the discourse will fade and more positive experiences will take their place! :D 

Hope you have a Happy New Year!! :D

#discourse

[madmadmilk]

hey J i have an art question if thats ok? 🙈 im tryin to get back into drawing /sketching but im really struggling with shading so i wanted to ask if you have any advice on how i could practice or maybe you have some basic rules or something like that? love ya! 💛

heeyyy! ♥︎ > sorry i took forever to reply, but art related questions are ALWAYS welcome!!

but yay~ i'm glad you're coming back to creating and expressing yourself! art is freeing, and a great way to let go of some pent-up energy. it definitely requires patience and endurance though.

✍️ some advice for shading & basic rules below:

there are no rules! lol, there are things that we "agree" look good or work well, but at the end of the day– there are no rules. art is whatever u want it to be, and however you want to express it. don't let traditional values or measurements hold you back.

practice makes perfect. a lot of art, or music or sports or anything is just practice, practice, practice. doodle a lot! make things halfway or sketch halfheartedly. that's fine, just don't quit!

sketch first, look up inspo, and sketch again. this is a process that i've found to be helpful to me! make you drawing to the best of your ability, raw and uninfluenced. then if you find yourself struggling, look up examples close and far to your content. then draw again, your brain will have unconsciously picked up certain queues that you'll be able to replicate and produce in your own way!

start light. with shading (esp. if you're doing it traditionally/on paper) you can always ADD but you can't always take away. when you're first starting, the levels of contrast are REALLY daunting. i encourage you to shade lightly then build up as you go. it's ok if you don't get the exact color or shade match at first, you can keep working up to it. make big, sweeping movements with your whole arm. be big and expressive when you make your first passes. when you get down to details, change to a different, darker pencil and then you can start using small wrist movements.

draw the same thing over and over! this is not 100% necessary, but i've found that it helps me to get comfortable with "trying" new things. like, if you draw the same person/face/pose over and over you can get comfortable to experiment within that subject. eventually, you can branch out and try something new.

youtube. lol love that damn website. there's so many tutorials or process videos on there. it's nice just to watch how someone draws or see how they map things out. you don't have to watch entire videos or consistenatly do so, but it's a nice way to see individual step-by-step processes.

understand that not everything is a master piece. sometimes your drawings are just practice. sometimes they're meant to stay in a sketchbook. not everything HAS to be displayed or curated to be posted online. it's ok to have a million secret drawings that are just preparation for new things! dont' be discouraged by sketches, pre-sketches, and half finished work. they all help you gain experience!

white gel pen/paint. broooo u gotta get one for the highlights! it makes SUCH a difference in pencil, ink or painted drawings. adding the brightest whites at the end of a piece is just ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎!! please give it a try.

know that.. no one can do it like you. art is personal, individual, and liberating. i know we all have an idea of what we want our things to look like, and that we compare ourselves to one another but– at the end of the day, it's YOURS. do it for you because you're the only one who can. your hand and eye are so special, enjoy it!

hmmmmmm i can't really think of much more technical advice? besides keep your hand/wrist very light. don't feel pressured to press hard and get the dark colors in! but ya, i hope this helps a little bit!! good luck and enjoy your drawing journeyyy! 💐🌷💕✨

#art #maddraws #advice #personal #madmadmilk