#writing while i listen helps me actually retain what i hear haha

[bulkhummus]

ALRIGHT 196 react lets go (✨SPOILERS✨)

1. HES sick, injured? here we go here we go, i hope its recovery era please please please

2. oh hes so edgy lmao — okay not recovery era

3. “pat my head AND MY ASS“

4. 9 years holy shit could u imagine — also another middle aged man to add to the collection i guess

5. oh god if khosheck dies idk if cecil will be able to handle it — if thats what this is about im gonna lose my bananas , all of them

6. “YOU EVER SEE A SPIDER? FREAKY.“ im laughing

7. “i do fear death now but im working on it” GOD theres some bangers on here today so funny

8. fur? Needles. Skin? Hard. eyes? too Many. wings and tentacles. I am forcibly removed from the station bathroom

9. am i cat because i look like one? Am i confidently pretending this is what i am? oooof

10. whoa hes seen management……. they can hear him?????????? oh thats so fucked lmao THEY LAUGH oh m y g od hahHAHAHAHAH IM SORRY SILAS THATS AWFUL

11. THE KITTENS OH NO— wow okay yeah narcissist — but a good convo demonstrating silas’ personality — aw he ends up liking Mixtapes name — yes some men have babies 😌

12. larry leroy 🥺 cecil go visit him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

13. “YOU DIGRESS A LOT”

14. everything is a disguise — oooooof aw he loves his kids 🥺🥺

15. why does he want cecil so bad to see him ahdjsjsk also his impression of cecil’s voice is v funny —

16. DONT TELL CECIL TO GO INTO THE WOODS BAD CAT

17. aw wait i dont like him being drugged :( not one bit— aw i do think he really does love his kids— but as someone who lives with an actual diagnosed narrcisist, i hate that his words were “will you remember me” :( also VERY good weather

18. chicken and rice 🥺🥺🥺💕

19. OHOHO hes talking abt STREX AND THE BEAGLE ……..

20. alright stop talking about the woods im gettinG NERVOUS

21. oh i rlly dont like where this is going ………. he keeps mentioning the woods …. He keeps mentioning the only time he could move was when cecil was in danger ………. Im getting nervous

22. you only see what you want to see — i am simply what i am, am i khoshekh? OOOOF

IN CONCLUSION: my boy is having some deep identity issues …….

also again… as someone who grew up and lives with an actual narcissist, a lot of it is exactly how its described. everything is in relation to him and his needs and what he wants. I liked the bit about him saying he isnt sexist he’s a narccisist and that sometimes presents as sexism. Bc it’s still sexism, but not for the reason it usually is. (this thought has saved me from a lot of paim ofer the years lmao) Narcissism is wired into every avenue ur brain. you own everything. everything happens to you or for you and the people in your life are there to serve you a purpose. Idk i think its just a good conversation abt the complexity of a human brain, and outward vs inward perception.

i do think he loves his kids, i really do. i think he’d do anything for them. i think he views them as an extension of himself, but he’s beginning to see past that.

i do think i am VERY NERVOUS if cecil goes into those woods….. i honestly think it makes sense for silas to save him and complete his arc in realizing some needs are above his own, etc etc except we’d see it from cecil’s perspective again, as we always do — i just think silas might go out with a bang, and cecil will certainly remember him

anyways this was more than i meant to write about a narcissistic bathroom cat but —- what can u do

#writing while i listen helps me actually retain what i hear haha #This was a good episode! his dramatic tone is so amusing to me i love it #It feels correct even though its a little over - acted #Its v in character i feel #Also lots of good lines in this episode for sure #Wtnv #wtnv 196 #Wtnv spoilers #welcome to night vale #silas #khoshekh #cecil palmer

[okaywitheverything]

hi! can i request minato fall for naruto kindergarten teacher please? thank you 😁

Ma'am: A Possible New Mom? Minato x KindergartenTeacher!Reader

My actual first request! Hope I did it justice! Thank you honey for the request. I wrote some sort of mixed AU so I hope you don't mind.

 A/N: This took a lot of time because I have a lot of tests every month. Also i threw up a week ago and was somewhat sick. Then I lost the two drafts and was so irritated with ms word but somehow I managed to write again. So a lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this. Please shower it with love if you even read this awful Author’s note.

Positive A/N: I did like how it turned out tho, the ending is too cute and you won't know what to expect as I didn't either. I genuinely hope you have fun reading this piece.

Word count: 3K

 Your POV

 “It must be fun to play with the kids all day."

People who think that are the biggest fools on the planet in the universe.

You were picking up the various toys scattered throughout the main classroom, sorting them category wise while the kids took a nap. Most of them anyways.

A few babies had insane amount of energies that they refused to sleep whatsoever. But it wasn't as big a problem as people think it is. All kids have different strengths, a variety of ways to function and unique physiology. You knew if a kid was not tired, forcing him or her to doze off isn't healthy.

Just let the kids be.

So that explains why Naruto was alongside you helping you to collect the sponge shurikens scattered around while you put away the stuffed ninkens on the high shelf. Usually Kiba and Rock Lee would be awake as well, and this trio would play in the hall until their limbs gave out but today even they slept after tiring poor Akamaru out for weird challenges.

“Ma’am, I almost forgot! I want to show you something! Come with me!” Naruto suddenly grabbed your hand leaving his task in the midst and urging you to leave yours too. You looked at him puzzled but giggled at his enthusiasm nonetheless, sometimes kids were too darn cute. You loved the ways kids’ eyes lit up, so optimistic and happy and hopeful until the world snatched it all away. You wanted to preserve this for as long as could.

He took you to the room where the kids kept their small backpacks filled with their favourite articles that they thought were absolutely necessary to take everywhere.

No Neji, you don’t need to have three combs for the care of your luscious hair every possible instant.

Naruto generally brought a lot of snacks which you had to retain sometimes so that he would eat healthy but it became even harder to do so when all he wanted was for Sasuke to taste the tomatoey flavour ‘these’ chips had and gift Rock Lee the curry flavour. That boy had a heart of gold.

 He pulled the zipper of his orange backpack open, and took out a stuffed fox.

“Ma’am meet Kurama! I told him all about you and he wanted to meet you!” He held Kurama up while you were gently petting the plushie’s head, he was so excited to see your happiness to meet his esteemed companion.

These kids and their imaginations! You loved every ounce of it!

“Hello Mr. Kurama!” You didn’t feign excitement, you actually were. You loved kids and their creativity and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“He’s my best friend! Don’t tell anyone else though! Others might get sad.”

You did an action of zipping your lips, “Your secret is safe with me, sweetie.”

“Look! I also drew something!” He hastily handed you Kurama and proceeded to take out his yellow sketchbook. He kept turning pages filled with rainbows of colours morphing into one another that made some sense in his cute, little head and finally reached his desired page. He pulled your dress with his little chubby hands, an action he often did when he wanted you to sit beside him. You kneeled down, his plushie settled in your lap now as you waited for him to go ahead.

He handed you his open sketchbook where there were three figures, two adults and one kid judging by the height, all wearing triangular outfits. One kid and an adult had striking yellow hair and blue eyes while the other adult wore an orange dress with a large circle in their hands. On closer inspection, you saw your own hair colour and eye colour being illustrated to the best of the toddler’s ability, as far as the crayons allowed him to portray it. You had a circle in your hands, almost the size of your drawn head with black spots in between while the child in the photo held an orange squishy ball. To save you from your confusion, Naruto came to the rescue and started explaining.

“That’s me and Dada over here. And I’m playing with Kurama! And that’s you Ma’am! Bringing me and dada cookies for being good boys like you do in class!”

Your heart melted right there and then. For some reason, your face heated up too.

“Oh my God, honey, that’s amazing!” You pecked his cheek as Naruto blushed slightly and rubbed his head, “You liked it?”

“I Loved it! What did Dada say about it?”

“He got so red like Sasuke’s tomatoes haha. But he put it on our fridge like my other drawings and he said it was the best one yet.”

Before you could reply, crying was heard from the nap room and you sighed. Looks like someone woke up.

“Yay, someone is up! We can now play!” Naruto began running but you stopped him.

“Let’s be sure to pack this all up before, Ma’am Anko will see to your friend okay?”

Minato was waiting alongside other parents, it was 10 minutes till the kindergarten was over. His mind wandered afar, thinking about his journey to this town.

Minato was very afraid when he moved to Konoha, about Naruto settling in and making friends. Of course, back in his previous town he had already got Naruto a place in the best Kindergarten there, pulling all the needed strings but his promotion caught him off guard. Being a single parent was hard enough as it is, and with the worry of adjusting to new surroundings for his growing son, he was almost going to decline the offer. Only after much conviction from his friends that he deserved this, he took the offer, albeit hesitantly.

He was happy with his new workspace and colleagues as well, and was over the moon when he one of his erudite associates had a son the same age as his own, and recommended the city’s best kindergarten where his son was set to go. He went blindly on his associate’s word, because he knew him to be a wise dad.

For the first two months, he had to work relentlessly to prove his position as the new leader in the branch, and so he had his assistant pick Naruto up while he prepared lunch at home for his precious boy, barely making it home fifteen minutes before they did. But when the company celebrated their first real accomplishment, only then did Minato feel he could take a step back and indulge with his son more as he used to do.

When he began picking him up himself, he realised what he had been missing on: small quirky tales, new words his toddler learned, new friends’ names, his favourite teacher’s cookies apparently. Minato quickly noticed, being the perceptive man he was, that Naruto could go hours and hours talking about his Ma’am. He would have thought of it as a crush, had Naruto been older.

But when he first saw you, he could relate to his son if Naruto did have a crush. He knew he was being superficial, being attracted to your appearance at first sight but he couldn’t help himself that you were almost ethereal, too gorgeous to be true. It seemed as if you were glowing when you laughed alongside the kids or held one of them on your shoulders while searching for the parents.

However, your personality was even more so captivating when he finally talked to you at the parents-teachers conference. You were such a quality teacher, he deduced when he noticed how apt you were at describing each kid individually and how dedicated to their growth you were. He loved the bond you had with Naruto, the boy couldn’t stop grinning upon meeting you on his day off.

The bell rung, breaking him out of his reverie, and he waited as the kids ran to the parents, waving goodbyes here and there, ready for their weekend. He could hear your faint shouting over the buzz, “Make sure you have taken all your belongings, kiddos! Have a good weekend!”    

He knew if you had a special place in his son’s heart, he could let you stay in his heart as well.

It was 8 PM, one hour past the Uzumaki kid’s bedtime, but the blatantly crying kid was nowhere near sleeping. A distressed Minato held him on his hip, as he searched the entire house for his favourite plushie, Kurama, without whom Naruto had never slept.

“We’ll find him, Naru. Do you remember where you last saw it?” Minato asked, pausing and sitting in the comfy sofa, looking at Naruto, hoping he’d have an answer.

Naruto’s wails quietened down, fortunately there were no tears, as he pondered and spoke, “I last showed it to Ma’am!”

Minato sighed, he grasped that Naruto would have left it at the playschool because no inch of his house was unsearched. He settled Naruto down on the couch as he deliberated calling you over a toy. He had your number for emergencies, but was this one? The real objection, the actual reluctance he had for calling was totally different though. He hated to admit it, but talking to Naruto’s daydream of a teacher always left him stuttering like a teenager. He could barely listen and respond when he met her at the kindergarten, but talking to that Goddess one on one was more terrifying and nerve-wracking than moving to a new town.

But he knew there was no way Naruto would sleep without Kurama and it was only Friday, nights to wait if he doesn’t ask you about the plushie today. He couldn’t imagine how disheveled will Naruto be without Kurama by then. He would surely award himself with wine if he managed to finish the call without fainting.

With clammy hands and a vigorously pounding heart, he dialed the number.

You were finishing up the last batch of forms and cleaning up, when you saw something abruptly put in the otherwise shipshape playroom. Before you could further inspect, your phone rang, Mr. Uzumaki flashing on top of the screen. Your heart hammered as you wondered what he could be calling about.

You were not going to lie, Mr. Uzumaki was easy on the eyes, always in class A condition with his well-tailored suits as he came to pick Naruto up. Even the married housewives ogled him not-so-subtly. He was such an excellent father, really devoted in his son’s life while simultaneously conquering the business world. An eye candy, with all the best qualities that existed, an immensely put together God’s creation. He was dream partner to have, yet somehow he was single.

Your phone’s ring broke you out of your musing, as your sweaty palms grabbed the phone and received the cal.

“Good Evening, Mr. Uzumaki.” You managed out, your neck suddenly heating up.

“Good Evening, Miss. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

“Not at all, I was about to head home. How may I help you?”

“If you are still there at the playschool, could you please…… If you don’t mind….. I’m sorry again I called-”

“I assure you, it’s fine. You don’t need to worry about it. Although you do need to tell me the problem if you want me to help.” You giggled lightly, amused at that man stuttering.

“Thank you. Umm Naruto left his night time plushie there I suppose and he doesn’t sleep without it. Could you please, please check if it’s there?”

“Of course.” You held the phone and as you hummed and went to the Kid’s playroom you found Naruto’s sketchbook with the drawing laying on it, and the Kurama toy beside it. You swore you promised Naruto pack it earlier in the day.

“Looks like he did leave it here.”

“Can you keep the school open a bit late, I’ll come and collect it right aw-”

“Its pretty windy right now outside, and you’ll have to bring Naruto too at this hour. I’ll drop it at your home on my way back, I was planning in leaving in five anyways.” Your mouth spoke before you could process what you said, offering to go to his house? Nice going there, you desperate weirdo.

His choked out “Okay” almost surprised you as you ended the call.

This will be a nice, little detour.

About twenty minutes later, the doorbell to the Uzumaki household rang and Minato sprinted to the door, opening it immediately.

There you stood, with tousled hair from the wind, in your long red pea coat and black heels. Your cheeks lightly tinted, no doubt because of the unruly weather outside. Somehow you still looked absolutely perfect in Minato’s eyes as he traced your form, unable to initiate the conversation.

You, on the other hand, had halted completely when the door opened revealing a ripped Minato, his muscles bulging underneath his black shirt while grey sweatpants hung loosely on his hips. His biceps were so thick, you wondered how he managed to exercise on top of all the responsibilities he had.

You handed it over to Minato whose eyes widened at the piece of paper and stood there awkwardly, processing what to say.

Somehow stopping yourself from all the gawking, you cleared your throat as you dug in your black purse and took out Naruto’s best friend and his masterpiece.

“Guess he left this as well.” He gave a forced laugh, trying to make things less uncomfortable after he stood silent for two minutes.

You chuckled lightly in agreement when suddenly thunder boomed behind you, causing you to shriek and slip, only to be caught by Minato, his hands holding you around your middle tightly in a protective manner. You coughed as you stepped back again and he cleared his throat this time when suddenly it started pouring like hell’s rage on Earth.

“You should stay for a while, at least until the rain lightens.”

You were going to decline, but when you saw how bad it was raining, you knew you would have to accept. “Looks, like I’ll have to. Sorry to impose.”

“It’s no imposition at all. I’m inviting you, don’t fret.”

You stepped inside, shrugging your pea-coat off, revealing your black dress underneath. Minato reddened visibly, taking your pea-coat from you and hanging it. He cursed himself as he thought of conversation starters, wanting to say something, anything to not stand like a fool.

“Would you like wine? I have this blush flavoured bottle reading to drink.”

“I would love that, Thank you. What are you celebrating though, if I may ask?” You agreed, maybe the alcohol would calm your buzzing nerves. Besides you were a sucker for wine.

“Nothing much, a simple personal achievement of sorts.” He said with a grin as he led you inside, hopeful of where the night might lead. Maybe the liquid courage would help him finally ask you out.

Behind the wall, Naruto grinned with a pacifier in his mouth. Mission successful.

So that was that. Until next time, cookies.

#naruto #naruto imagine #narutofic #babynaruto #minato uzumaki #minato x reader #minato imagine #uzumaki x reader #fluff #raywrites #Smwrites #minato uzumaki x reader #minato uzumaki x kindergartenteacher! reader #kindergarten teacher #kindergarten teacher imagine #dad minato #please read haha #kakashi #Kakashi Hatake #minato imagines #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #minato headcanons

[yeocult]

ATEEZ as students studying

HONGJOONG:

king of self-care! but studies for 15 minutes then take a 2 hour break and calls it self-care (omg he thinks he’s me or smth)

has power naps every single day at least 30 mins because he’s Stressed

always thinking of ways to drop out during the middle of lectures

that one kid that talks to nobody & sits at the back of the class with his hood on to hide his airpods

doesn’t do it anymore bc one time it disconnected and “there’s some whores in this house” blasted out loud & now he’s paranoid

shows up to group studies but lets the group carry him,,, but he puts out One Really good idea to get his name on the paper

only cares about topics he’s interested in, other than that he’s just astral projecting

“yo can you send me your answers so i can compare mine?” but he copies it and says “we got the same answers” (all men do is lie</3)

calculates his marks; “ok so i need at least a 80 on this...oh wait no, a 95...damn okay...”

the type to arrives late with ice coffee

SEONGHWA:

wakes up at 5 am to study instead of staying up

scented candles and lofi music for the ~studying mood~

a linguistic learner

learns best by teaching others so he’ll do group studies often to help other people

teaches people without making them feel dumb

uses grammarly for his emails with 3 paragraphs asking 1 question with a proper greeting and a ‘sincerely, park seonghwa’

professor: ok - sent from iphone

you’ll never see him during exams week, he’s Gone

a loyal user of the outline method

his desk must be cleared at all times! a clean workspace makes it easier to focus

brings extra pencil just in case anyone needs them bc he’s the sweetest person ever (he’s fully aware that he’ll never get them back but it’s okay bc sharing is caring)

does his readings on time (you’ll never catch him slacking)

actually has his shit together for the most part 1/2

YUNHO:

writes “i love you” or “sorry” at the end of his tests (that he bombed)

the type to ask you to print “just one thing real quick” and it’s 15 page and at 2 am

uses emojis like :D & \(^o^)/ when sending emails to his professors

has a bad habit of copying word for word on the slide and he doesn’t actually understand/learn anything

goes to the library bc he thinks that’ll help him be in the ~studying vibe~

it doesn’t. ends up texting or watching youtube gameplay

has never heard of the colour-coding system in his entire life and ends up with a page filled with neon highlight

snacks breaks are the only thing keeping him Normal

leaves himself an encouraging note at the end of the reading page so when he’s finished he feels good !!

friends with all of the professors and uses all office hours

strongest points are his guessing skills in multiple-choice questions (process of elimination ftw!)

he tries his best, doesn’t care about marks that much because he knows it doesn’t determine him (and he’s right!)

YEOSANG:

probably runs a studyblr/gram

has the cutest note ever, his handwriting is so pretty!!

he thinks that buying an ipad pro & apple pencil will make him smarter

likes it bc he can doodle on it then erase them easily :”)

has to wear blue ray glasses because of how he looks at a screen so much

mildliners, muji 0.38 gel pen, 6 ring binder, minimal planner, washi tapes, you name it! he visits muji and daiso every other week

buys wayyy too many planners and notebooks which he never ends up using

only uses pastel mildliners because they’re easy on the eyes. cringes every time he sees yunho’s highlighters v_v

his flaw is that he spends 10 mins writing his header with brush tip pens

mutes the group project gc but gets his part done like the good classmate he is

sweats every time he gets an assignment back, takes a whole ten minute to mentally prepare himself

a visual learner; makes mind maps, flow charts, etc

actually has a working printer that he uses pretty often to prints lessons before class just to be Extra prepare

tells everyone he slept well but his bullet journal habit tracker for sleep says otherwise (plz rest!!)

exclusively uses college ruled paper like the sane person he is

SAN:

uses wide-ruled paper (unfortunately not everyone is perfect</3)

starts off very positive, motivated, and organized

then everything goes downhill by the second week

will definitely set byeol on top of his keyboard, take a picture, and send it to his professor as an ‘excuse’ as why he needs an extension (it works)

can’t sit still for any longer than 30 mins, his legs are always bouncing or fidgeting with pen

flashcard king! spends a lot of time on them but it’s worth it

a utensil chewer (always willing to share his pencil but when ppl saw the bite marks they’re like No Thanks >_>)

can’t study well with groups or himself bc he’ll be distracted,,, so he needs one person that can ground him bc when they’re in the zone, he will too be on his x game mode

sends his assignment at 11:58 pm hoping his professor will take the Hint (plz don’t be afraid to ask for help u_u)

prefers listening to ghibli studio soundtracks but then he either gets emotional or sleepy

sometimes forget to mute his mic and we just hear him groaning in frustration

“haha sorry i just stubbed my toe...”

then mutes his mic and goes back to his mental breakdown

MINGI:

the only person that studies every single day just to get his brain used to the information and running

probably listens to anime op or edm music for that Energy Boost

everyone either hates or love him because...

1. loves him bc he always comes clutched with study guides (and willing to share if he likes you enough)

2. he’s good at everything even if he’s not paying attention/doing it last minute

just naturally good at retaining information and applying them

asks Big Brain question that even the professors are shook

sometimes he gets super into the topic and wants to know Everything

“i’ve never failed an exam in my life” and he’s right! big brain mingi

fetal flaw is that he forgets easily (hence why the last minute) and has to write on his palm as a reminder

clicks his pens All the time so he switched to pens with caps just to keep others from jumping him

takes naps 10 mins before classes

actually has his shit together for the post part 2/2

“if no one got me, i know khan academy and quizlet got me. can i get an amen”

WOOYOUNG:

y’all know that one mf that doesn’t have a pencil?

yea he’s been using the same one someone lend to him before a test and never returned it

it’s been two months and it’s still working well and they’re never going to get it back

a minimalist,,,, but in a bad way</3 bc he carries his stolen pencil and paper that he spilled his energy drink over and that’s about it

just throw loose papers in his bag and forgets about their existence

doesn’t do binders or notebooks, just crumbled up paper

sometimes carries a textbook just to show everyone that he’s got his life together

really noisy for No reason, always wants to know other’s marks

a kinesthetic learner

hides his screen with he gets the kahoot questions wrong (you’ll never catch him slippin)

plays coolmathgames.com during class

doesn’t really know what to study/prioritize so he overwhelms himself with every single topic ever

thinks he’s god by pulling an all-nighter to look at the 60+ slides last minute

Swears he’ll change and do better next semester,,,</3

goes to the cafe, takes pictures of his notes & laptop, post it on his story, then leaves

JONGHO:

thrives off of red bull and ice americanos

gets notes and study guides from his upperclassmen because everyone loves jongho

an audio learner so he’ll probably work out or go on a jog while listening to lessons/audiobook

never pulls all-nighters bc it messes up his sleep schedule and says he’ll do it in the morning but he never does

doesn’t even own a highlighter, he’ll circle or underline stuff with a red or black pen

has never touched a textbook in his life

only the study guides and slides, his textbook is collecting dust rn

his notes are literally Only for him because his handwriting only makes sense to him

has questionable handwriting,,, it’s like decoding

multitasks a lot but it ends up taking a lot longer than he wanted to (bc it’s a myth)

very spontaneous; he’ll grind for 5 hours straight but sometimes he won’t even touch a pencil

works best when he talks about the work in groups and share information with each other, like having a convo about the topic

unmutes his mic Once after the lesson to say “bye”

does his work right after the lessons but then takes a short break & doesn’t even Look back for the rest of the night

-

a/n: tag yourself ! i’m a bit of hohong (i projected myself on all of them in some way lmaooo)

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez drabbles #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #ateez writings #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #tried to put both online and in class stuff so yea :>

[missmaxime]

Author Ask

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks to talk about one of my fav fics – Ain’t No Sunshine (Yes, he sole Beth/Turner fic – that’s also very much about Beth/Rio even though they never see each other). So, this got very lengthy haha, I hope you know what you asked for! Soo most of the time when I actually commit to writing a fic – and not just leave it on an idea or a vague outline – is when a random set of concepts, themes, challenges etc. fall into place in my mind and I’m like: yes. the fic. the fic is all these things.

So what were the important things?

* Beth/Turner I definitely feel like this ship is not under-appreciated, but vastly underwritten about (sole evidence: ao3), and since no one was writing it for me, I felt a big urge to do it myself. If I recall correctly I remember @medievalraven, @nottonyharrison , @nakedmonkey and maybe a few others mention the ship in tags or posts, and I remember thinking; ah, I’m not the only one. That’s encouraging! Not that I’d mind writing an unpopular pairing – but it’s always nice to know some people might be interested in reading it. * PTSD / Missing out on Beth dealing with it in S3 I’m absolutely fascinated with how people deal with PTSD – there’s definitely some personal experience laced in with that, but I’m intrigued by the whole spectrum. On the show we see Beth open up to Max (Stranger McStrangerface) about how she felt like after shooting Rio. Max, someone she has no obligation to, who she doesn’t lose face with, who doesn’t know her, doesn’t know the weight and emotion of that action and moment. One of the saddest moments I feel in the whole show is, after Annie and Ruby discover that Beth has befriended Rhea. Everything in the moment where they talk about the shooting, to Annie and Ruby’s reaction is telling: Beth hasn’t confided them with the truth, or bent the truth to a point where Annie and Ruby accept the fact that there’s no downside to Beth shooting Rio – even when it solely comes to Beth’s feelings. Annie and Ruby either choose to not engage with Beth’s grief and trauma, either because they feel like it’s a lost cause (she’ll shut down, pretend it’s not that bad, etc.) or because they don’t know how. Regardless of the motivation behind Annie and Ruby’s response, it tells me that Beth is dealing with these feeling alone. Point of all this: I was wondering what would happen if Beth tries to deal with her grief and trauma by seeking out the only person (in her reality at the moment) who experienced very similar feelings in that loft. Beth and Turner act very opposite in their PTSD (from Turner’s POV). Beth is using their time together to unload her trauma, to open up, to give up control in a way while also grappling to retain some – regardless of how messy, toxic and reckless it all is. While Turner, in his own opinion, uses the time to practice his control, blame Beth for being the emotional wreck in this situation. While Beth in a way embraces feeling something, Turner places himself above her to the point where he ridicules her in his head for coming back to him, while ignoring that he went to see her at work – practically forcing her to pay him a visit after she didn’t return after they had sex in his bedroom. Under the surface I wanted to shine through that while the whole situation is a mess: Beth continues the affair, even though she keeps escalating them physically, growing more emotionally detached, solely continuing to chase after some sliver of feeling even though she knows it’s a bottomless well. Turner continues the affair even though he becomes more emotionally invested, both in figuring out Beth and in the affair overall. They become the mirror of what Turner perceived them to be in the beginning. Turner expects himself to triumph out of their affair as ‘the winner’, perceiving it even as some sort of twisted competition – after all; he holds the higher moral ground, he knows more than her, he’s the experienced survivor – yet even though he sees Beth like many others don’t, he chooses to overestimate himself like he does with Rio. Eventually leading to him gradually caving to Beth emotionally, and his inflated ego from interactions with both Rio and Beth leading to his fatal demise. * Imagery / Lines of dialogue So, in visualizing the scenery I really wanted to feel a sense of isolation throughout the whole story. It’s a deliberate choice that save for the first scene, they never meet anywhere else than Turner’s apartment, and they never meet at daytime. I choose the title Ain’t No Sunshine for more than one reason, but establishing the overall visual was definitely one of them. It’s not just a situation that’s literally going nowhere, it’s dark and without a light at the end of the tunnel from the very beginning, and when there’s finally sunshine appearing, it’s the bringer of death. Turner’s apartment is probably the most impersonal housing situation we’ve seen on the show – it’s also designed that way; it’s corporate housing. It’s a temporary stop, it’s a place where nothing’s yours, made to stay for a little while and then move on. From the very beginning I knew I wanted the story to take place here for the most part, if not all of it. For Turner if feels impersonal because the apartment has no meaning, it’s disposable, it’s anonymous, it’s safe in a way, it doesn’t represent him – and it feels like he has the upper hand because she comes to him. For Beth it’s also impersonal because it’s also not hers, it’s far away from her own environments – and it also feels to her like she has the upper hand because she intrudes his place, like he has done to her before – it’s safe because it’s anonymous and it’s balanced. I often write a bunch of notes in my phone about fic (including lines of dialogue), but I wrote absolutely nothing about Ain’t No Sunshine. It’s one of those fics where I felt like I had a good grasp on the concept, the vibe and the setting when I started writing it, and every scene kind of naturally flowed out of the other. I knew I wanted to convey some things, so while I knew I wanted to say something about PTSD, I didn’t know a line like ‘Instead of your skin getting thicker with every shot fired, your skin gets thinner until it’s nothing but papyrus, tearing at the smallest implication.’ would come from that. I had a few markers of time (I knew roughly when it started, knew a few canon points that would happen, and obviously I knew when it would end) but I didn’t plan any of the scenes. * Cornerstone So while I def went into some specifics in all the points above, aside from wanting to explore the Beth/Turner ship, the most important thing was diving into all the messy, stupid, damaging and obsessive twists and turns people lose themselves in when dealing with heavy emotions like trauma and grief. While they make stupid choices herein, I also feel strong that they’re not always wrong in going into these extremes – because it’s normal to be a mess after the situation in the loft, to struggle with finding something harder and healthy instead of fast and easy. And while they can’t help themselves being judgy of each other, they’re also embracing each other like no one else around them is – intentional or not. Haha, this deep dive was a ride! I tag:

@mamey2422 with And I Feel Fine @mego42 with listening through the air shaft  @wakeupflawless with The King’s Mistress  Rules under the cut!

Recently I have become really fascinated with fanfic authors and what exactly was rumbling around in their brain that inspired a fic? Was it a line of dialogue you couldn’t get out of your head?A scene you wrote WAY in advance and then crafted the whole story around?An image in your mind?Inspiration from another form of media?Maybe someone suggested something to you and it just TOOK off from there? What is the cornerstone of this fic -what is it all built around? The idea that started it all?

Tag an author & their fic. Let’s hear about what sparked your story. What exactly got your booty movin’ shakin’ motivated and writin’ ?

#asks #ask meme #author asks

[the-busy-ghost]

TSP S02E08 - Peace (At Last)

It’s the last episode of this strange show and tbh it’s a bit sad, because you know, I think I had fun. You have to give the actors credit for genuinely creating some moving scenes, and I will miss some of the dresses the costume department served up. On the other hand, the show was bizarre and nonsensical but that in itself was genuinely entertaining, and also I think that this was a piece of media which really lent itself to being pulled apart- it can be quite educational to analyse some of the balls to the wall nonsense in period dramas, and sometimes they really can offer new lines of enquiry that people wouldn’t otherwise think about. But yeah. Cast and crew must have had a good time making it and in some areas, the acting shone through, where it was allowed to. If anything half the reason this show was disappointing is because it had every opportunity to be much better. 

That being said, onto my rant for the week. 

- We start off with some sadly wooden Shakespearean-play-being-performed-live-on-stage line delivery which wasn’t really suited to television or this show’s established aesthetic. There were quite a few other places in the script this episode where characters said things in a rather cringy way that would have been much better on stage, or not said at all. Maybe it’s the writers, who knows. Bit disappointing though.

- I have to ask, why is Margaret Pole just letting Mary stand outside the door in her nightgown listening to all this? That’s rather negligent guardianship? Terribly contrived, 0 marks.

- Katherine and Mary’s scene in the chapel was sort of nice, pity we didn’t see  more of this kind of moment.

- AND we are back in “Scotland” (haha, right), and apparently we are picking up exactly where we left off in the last episode, with Margaret returning loaded with some trinkets from the English treasury. Presents for everybody. 

- First thought why the hell is this castle ruined. Did nobody tell Frost and Graham that all those ruins in the pictures of Scotland weren’t originally like that? Also I have no idea where Margaret is meant to be here. At first I thought maybe they’ll show a Fake Tantallon but her following lines indicate that she’s managed to get to the west land somehow? Very confused. 

- Who the fuck are the ‘men of Arran and Hamilton’. That is not how ANY of this works. I think what the scriptwriters mean is that Margaret has gone to the Earl of Arran and his retainers? But that’s not in the least how they should be referred to, it’s a deeply misleading line and doesn’t really mean anything. Also confirms btw that James IV’s kids were absolutely just set-dressing, since they had an opportunity for Moray at least to show up in 1524, but it seems that they have no relevance to the plot whatsoever so I have no idea why they were onscreen so much.

- “With English gold”- WOW ok, Margaret you really need to explain how you got that because otherwise it just looks like you’re acting on behalf of Henry VIII. Also did nobody consult their ‘Collected Works of Robert Burns’ before writing that line. But ‘assured’ Scots are a complex concept that I definitely didn’t expect the writers of TSP to understand anyway (and really more a feature of Mary I’s minority not James V’s).

- Anyway sorry Frost & Graham if there was any reasonable explanation for the ruined castle, the barbaric Scots stereotype, and the ‘English gold’ in this scene, I’m afraid I found it difficult to hear over the sound of your raging political agenda

- Also they’ve gone with a rather confusing motivation shift for Margaret here. Certainly, in 1523-4, Margaret was trying to discreetly recover control over the Scottish government while at the same time keeping Albany on side, but she couldn’t just march in there with the Earl of Arran and his pals and take it back. Her letters from this period (to Englishmen though, so maybe suspect) indicate that she was hoping that, while Albany was out of the country, the Scottish political community would get fed up with him jetsetting off to France all the time, decide that he had forfeited his rights to the regency, and support her aim of having James V declared an adult monarch in his own right (the ‘taking furth’ of the king). 

But in the context of this tv show, where nobody has indicated that Albany’s support is wavering at all, and where they have declared for the last few episodes that Margaret’s big problem is Angus (who, btw, from 1521 until early 1524 seems to have been sitting in a prison in France thanks to Albany) and that Albany is her ally, it is a very confusing character shift. Unfortunately it shows more clearly than ever that they really did not have enough space in their allotted ‘ten minutes of Fake Scotland per episode’ to cover the complexities of Scottish politics and indeed the enigma that is Margaret Tudor.

- That being said *now* I understand why they keep referring to James as the ‘heir’ to Scotland instead of the king. They’ve mixed up the ‘taking furth’ of the king which was supposed to bring the regency to an end, with an actual coronation and declaration that he was king. Once again, these are not the same thing. James was crowned within a fortnight of Flodden on 21st September 1513, in the chapel of Stirling Castle, with the support of all the leaders of the political community who mattered. In November 1524, by contrast, he was theoretically declared an adult ruler, which meant that his regents could be dismissed (and it helped that Albany, who had not returned from France by the date he said he would, had technically forfeited his rights). And if James happened to take his mother Margaret Tudor as chief counsellor on his ‘secret council’ well that was just his royal prerogative, done with the support of the political community as recognised in parliament.

- But still, contemporary rumours about Albany’s shady intentions aside, *to the best of my knowledge* nobody openly/directly challenged James V’s right to the Crown either in 1513 or 1524. James was the king from 1513, and any ensuing squabbles centred more around who should have responsibility for his upbringing and safety, not his rights to the throne.

- See what I mean about a two minute, ridiculously inaccurate scene being educational though? I could discuss the implications this nonsense would have had for sixteenth century Scottish politics for DAYS and when I go back to check my references for this rant, I learn even more. So like well done to TSP in that regard I guess. Maybe all historical tv shows should be horrendously inaccurate, and then they should do a behind the scenes series alongside it where they get actual historians (not like me) to go nuts and rant about the real history.

- Huge LOL at Mary in the next scene saying that Henry VIII supports Margaret’s annulment from Angus by the way. Not like, historically, Angus has just escaped France and arrived in London or anything. I imagine their conversation would have gone something like this:

Henry: Ah Mary, good to see you. You will be happy to know that I have had a change of heart and I support our sister’s annulment from Anguish, so you can write to Meg and tell her not to worry about him.

Mary: Oh that’s good to hear, I was always rooting for her, I- what’s that behind your back. 

Henry: What? Nothing.

Mary: Looks like the earl of Angus.

Henry: What? Er no, it’s er it’s just my Fake Beard. Lots of people get them mixed up.

Mary: Riiight. And you haven’t got a Scottish earl behind your back?

Henry: Not at all! Why would I have our brother-in-law behind my back? I hate that guy. Isn’t he in France anyway? Now would you go and get Wolsey I need to speak to him about, er... my beard. Yes my beard. It’s definitely not about a letter to Lord Dacre or anything.

Mary: Ok, absolutely believable, I will see myself out.

- Ok I’m getting carried away and actually, this rant is getting very long again even thought we’re only a few scenes in, so maybe I will split it into two parts so as not to clog up people’s dashboards. BRB.

#TSP #Meg Tudor #Margaret Tudor #Katherine of Aragon #period drama woes

[clan-sayeed-fic]

A Dream

This post is not about Kamilah and MC. It has nothing in common with Bloodbound, so if you're interested in only this type of writing, I recommend you not waste your time and keep scrolling😅  

Thanks to @lightning-fury, I translated the first chapter of my original book. Well, I changed it slightly and made it shorter. What I'm posting has 2100 words, and in Polish, it has 3400 words. Why? Because it was so damn hard thing to do haha

Author’s note: I wrote it when I was 16. How do I know? Because I have the habit of writing the main characters a year older than me. Amy, in my fic, has 22 years and, I will turn 21 in May, so nothing has changed haha😂

What freaked me out at first when I opened the file with this book is that... I've written it in the first person, so that made it more challenging to translate haha

There's no LGTB, just saying in advance if anyone cares about this.

There are more of my notes at the end of this post.

I'm sorry if it's not easy to read/ understand.

Rating: mature

warnings: angst

~ 2100 words

---------------------

"You have a..."

The Whisper's voice trying to reach me, fighting through the noise of a waterfall.

Where am I? Why am I hearing this hum characteristic for the waterfall? How is it even possible, and how much control am I having over what's happening right now?

I'm trying to wake myself up. With no luck.

"You're not developing your's..."

I'm turning around, searching for the person that's talking to me. Someone who's desperately fighting for my attention. And the only opponents that he's meeting are my thoughts. My worst enemy.

Answer something, I'm scolding myself for no concentration.

Finally, I opened my mouth, trying to let out a word. A single sound.

And that's when something is tightening around my throat. I'm trying to reach my neck, release the pressure around it, but my hands are no use at the moment. I'm not able to move, make a sound, ask for help.

"It would fade away if you..."

Sound of Whisper's words slowly disappearing as everything around me goes blurry. My eyes are filling with tears because of the lack of air in my lungs. I've never felt so powerless.

So useless.

"I can see, you're not going to do anything about this..."

No! I do, please don't leave me! Don't let me fall, not again.

Together with my growing stubbornness, the grip is closing around my neck. It makes me choke, pray for air. Everything around me takes the shades of cold blue, slowly becoming darker. It's a matter of seconds when it'll all go pure black. I've been there before.

"You're disappointing me..."

How? Why? Who are you?!

I want to do something... I just... can't.

I'm slowly giving up, closing my eyes. Why should I let them stay open if everything around is already black?

Every time I close my eyes, I can still see colorful spots dancing before me. Memories that float in my mind are visualized. I can see the places that I've visit, people that I've met. Like I have never really closed my eyes.

Again...my thoughts...

How long I'm going without air? Is this even possible?

A loud scream echoing in my head.

That's when the grip loosens, and my body goes falling straight to the ground.

That's what I call pain.

***

Something is ringing.

My hand goes under the blanket, searching for the phone. Fingers know what exactly they should do to stop this irritating noise.

The moment in which the silence falls in the room, I'm lifting myself on elbows. With difficulty, I'm stopping the cough since my throat still hurts unbearably.

In my ears, the scream repeats itself, making my body tremble. I'm looking around to take the surroundings in, but everything is as regular as it should be.

I'm looking at the bed next to mine, where Nicole sleeps as calm as usual. The view makes me smile a little. I'm grateful that at least one of us didn't have nightmares.

I'm inhaling deeply, brushing my messed up hair with fingers. What is wrong with me... I'm rubbing my face. Finally, I get up, trying to avoid scary thoughts.

It's a Saturday morning, I need to go to our neighbor to walk her dog. That's my usual, morning routine which helps me survive every day. And at the same time, that's my secret since kids can't leave this place without permission.

I'm taking clothes that I've prepared the previous day, and I'm making my way to the bathroom.

I'm listening to the quiet tones of my steps while walking through a long corridor. Like every morning, so now, the walls are threatening me by getting closer with each step. It makes me hesitate a little before I'm finding my courage to continue walking.

I'm under the gaze of people from paintings hanging on the walls. Every day they're asking me questions about where I am going. They're acting like they're mad at themself that they can't go out of the canvas and stop me from breaking the rules.

Long before I'm near the doors, my hand is searching for the door handle. It's lower than usual, so the younger girls could reach for it without asking for help.

Still keeping my hand on the door handle, I'm turning around to look one more time if there would be someone to stop me. To protest, make me turn back to my room. But there is absolutely no one there despite the sweet silence.

Finally, I'm disappearing into the bathroom.

Where I'm left with my own reflection.

Every day I'm meeting the same, unsure and scared glance, which makes me look away.

I'm looking around the inside of the bathroom as if I've never been here before. Then, on my tiptoes, I'm going to the next room with shower cabins. I'm searching for one living soul, but there's no one inside. To my luck.

I'm alone with myself.

I'm coming closer to the mirror and pulling my hair to the side to have a clear view of the neck. I can notice a little bruise where the grip was the strongest. But it's not too big, so I can simply cover it up with makeup later.

I tie my hair up in a loose bun, and after that, I can go take a shower.

My body shivers uncontrollably when the cold water flows out of the shower. After a second, I'm getting used to the temperature and start cleaning my skin, trying to wash away my fear and memories of the last night. It's becoming impossible when I find another sign of it on my shoulder. Even trying to look at it without a mirror, I can see a massive bruise.

I'm turning the water off and putting a towel around my body. I walk out of the shower to look at the wound in my reflection.

This is not going to be easy to cover up.

The only thing I can do in this situation is to cover it up with clothing. So I'm dressing up, and before walking out of the bathroom, I let my hair fall loose on my back. It's middle-length, dark brown, mostly straight, but the nearer the end, the wavier it gets.

I looked one last time at my tired reflection and went out, heading to the stairs.

As usual, Emily left a slightly open window for me in the kitchen so I could quickly go out. Using the front door was impossible if I didn't want to cause any problems.

Emily was responsible for taking care of us. She was six years older than me, and we knew each other for... I don't remember for how long actually. Either way, we've been on good terms, and she kept my little secret.

My feet reached the ground outside of the building. I took a few steps away from it to have a clear view of the place that I have been living in for over 10 years. And still, I couldn't call it home. This place is like a hotel in which someone's keeping me a lot longer than I wanted to stay.

My arrival at this place is a mystery to everyone. Even if no one actually knows what exactly has happened. Ms. Morad, who is the woman that owns this place, and found me, told me my short story. That I was seven years old and just appeared at the doors, alone. The only thing that I've had with me was a short note on a crumpled piece of paper.

"Her name is Kathleen, take good care of her."

I don't remember that moment. The same as I don't retain memories of anything before I was seven. Doctors called it a side effect after trauma.

Maybe... I don't know.

I've never felt grief after what happened. I've never been angry at my parents, whoever they are and whatever reason they've had for leaving me here. It's weird since most of the kids here were relieving their sadness each day. I just have this feeling that they did what they had to, and... it's stupid, but I think like they didn't have a choice. Like they were protecting me.

I shook my head to throw those thoughts away, and I made my way to the first fence that I had to climb on.

When my feet hit the ground on the other side, I reminded myself about another little detail.

Each morning I'm being watched.

He appeared in the building for boys about 2 years ago.

And since then, every morning, he watches me as I go through the garden.

I don't know who he is, why he is watching me, for what reason he is in this place...

And what's the most important, why didn't he tell my secret to anyone? He has no reason to be kind to me. We don't know each other.

Actually, we can't.

That's how this place goes. Girls and boys are separated from each other. We are not allowed to talk or spend time together. There was a time when I was wondering for what reasons it is like that. But I gave up those thoughts, believing in the system.

Like every other day, I'm fighting the urge to look at the window. Even without doing so, I can tell how exactly he looks like. How his hair is arranged. How he is piercing through my head with his dark eyes.

And like every other time, I win this urge and go straight toward the forest where a path will lead me to the neighbor's house.

***

I'm lost in thoughts, again.

The smell of the forest, it makes me forget about my problems every time, just for a moment.

I can see how excited Bueno, the dog of our neighbor, is for a walk. After a few steps farther into the forest, I'm getting him off the leash. I have great trust when it goes to this dog. He always comes when I call for him.

So this walk is suitable for both of us.

He is happy by the mere fact of being outside. And I can think without remorse.

My thoughts are uncontrollably drifting to the dream. I've been having those strange nightmares for a month now. I've never even remembered my dreams before, not talking about some crazy injuries.

It started calmly at first. I was remembering my dreams, but not analyzing them since they were just... dreams. Then, they started referring to my past, what I did a week earlier, or places I've been before.

In the next phase, I saw some repeatability in those dreams.

In every single one, Whisper was with me. I called him that because he was always whispering into my ear, or like he was inside my head. Never showing himself directly. No matter how much I asked, he never answered my questions too.

At first, I was scared of him. But after some time, I figured out that he meant no harm to me. It was more like he was trying to communicate with me. Trigger my mind to remember about something that, apparently, I forgot.

Each one of those sessions, when he was talking to me, ended up tragically. I was constantly waking up with new bruises, which were scaring me even more. But I couldn't tell anyone about this.

I can't trust anyone. Not even myself.

Suddenly, the wind picked up, and I feel a drizzle on my skin. I'm looking around, searching for the dog. But he's nowhere to find.

"Bueno," I'm calling him, expecting that he'll show himself any minute.

But I can't see him. That makes me call him again, adding a short whistle.

That's not normal.

This dog loves attention, and the fact that he is not beside me so far is unlike him.

"Bueno!" the third call, my voice is showing my raising fear.

Finally, the dog appears. His tail wags like he did nothing wrong.

"Don't do this, ever again," my voice sounds sharper than I wanted, so I pet him to not scare him off.

To be sure that he won't run away, I'm putting him on the leash before making our way back to his house.

***

I'm back at my place. I've just walked through the window to the kitchen. I'm heading to go upstairs when I run into Emily.

"Oh, sorry," the situation makes me smile from embarrassment, "thank you for leaving the window open."

"It's no problem," Emily must have seen that I wanted to disappear, so she stopped me with her next words, "I wanted to tell you something."

Anxiety curled immediately under my skin when I heard her serious voice.

"Is something wrong?" I can tell when she is nervous.

"Ms. Morad rang," Emily's voice got more upset,

"Kathy

You're being moved."

---------------------

Author’s note: That turned out pretty dark, haha, Believe me, it's still better after cutting off some parts. I won't translate the rest of the story for sure. And since I started writing it at the age of 16-18 and never ended it, so I don't see the reason to do this now. It doesn't matter in which language.

This tiny part will not explain the whole plot for sure and is more like a fun fact that I wrote something like this. 

Kathleen... this name is not common in Poland for sure, haha, and the reason why I choose it is weird and crazy. I just remember hearing this name in my early childhood. I don't know where but it was in my head.

Kathleen's character here is weak, and she's at the beginning of her journey. She is actually my best-written character so far, and I'm proud of how I wrote her transformation throughout the story to a strong and independent young woman. 

The Whisper, another character I'm proud of. He is not showing himself directly until part II of the book. And until then, his name is unknown. That's probably the most mysterious character that I've ever written. And he is as important to the plot as Kathleen. Oh, and translated from Polish, I originally called him "the Voice" but that sounds dumb in English haha

The world I've written about is post-apocalyptic, and the place that I've shown you in this chapter is an illusion created to mess up with children's heads. To get them ready for a new life under the influence of those who are greedy for power (typical). The world is after wars and an epidemic that generated a new creature. But it would be so hard to describe this creature in a few words. Mostly it's the rest of the human who got sick. They're not a zombie haha 

Dreams. They're the side effect of the virus that caused the epidemic. It's more about how Kathleen's brain changed, but at the same time, she didn't turn into one of those creatures. And it's not just about dreams, but they're the first phase.

I hope that makes any sense to you, I won't explain the whole plot. Mostly, because I don't remember it that well and I don't want to get lost in this now haha I hope that didn’t scare you off because this plot is crazy.

About the next chapter of "Let me earn your trust", I’ll post it on Wednesday/ Thursday. 

#not about Kamilah #my book #one time post #personal #still on hiatus

[sturlsons]

french in 1.5 years anon

Kinda random but I just found out that I’ll be required to be intermediate/advanced in French by the next 1.5 years; ALL I KNOW IS THAT MEIRDE IS A BAD BAD WORD! Idk if you’re a native speaker but I was wondering if you could provide me of any good French language resources (or language in general since I’ll be needing to learn Arabic soon as well), and like tips for language learning and how to go about it? Sorry to bother you haha this is MY stress but I appreciate any help! Have a great day!

HEY. so i really fucking dropped the ball on this one, i’m sorry. 2019 has been one health fiasco after another (or more like the same fiasco again and again) and i kept telling myself i want to sit down and make a proper post for this, until i realised that that’s just never going to happen given the way things are rn. and i’d rather give you a quickly-written post which is actually helpful than never write that perfect bullet-pointed one. 

first of all, i’ve been in your EXACT position (so no, i’m not a native speaker) except i had about...six months to go from je m’appelle teesta to voyez-vous, le problème qui se cache derrière tout ça n’est pas le manque de respect mais la personne dont il s’agit or whatever. i was like, i can so do this. (spoiler: i didn’t, because i was 18 and overconfident and stupid and didn’t actually know how to learn a language.) GOOD NEWS: having learned 3 more foreign languages since then, i am now REALLY GOOD at learning languages REALLY FAST. 1.5 years is a good amount of time, so don’t stress.

i’m going to go generic on this, with some extra tips about french since i speak it, unlike arabic. 

first thing, that typical thing everyone hates to hear but knows is coming from the mouth of an accomplished person (pat on my back) in any field whatsoever: you’re going to have to work really hard and practice like fuck. 

there’s just nothing else that can replace it. i’ve filled up notebooks and notebooks with japanese verb conjugations, once i did like 1800 of them in one sitting. but you better believe that a bitch will never forget those now. resign yourself to putting in at least three hours of your day to this until you get to the level you need. (and three hours is...kind. at my peak i was literally reading through french dictionaries at the library, 10 AM - 8 PM. i treated it like a workday.)

now, what you need to establish is: are you a hands-on learner or a digital one. 

i don’t really care for all the auditory learner and visual learner stuff, i don’t know about anyone else but i personally used those as excuses to avoid certain exercises. unless you have actual disabilities preventing you from accessing certain methods of learning, you can train yourself into anything. it’s a matter of practice. i could barely understand a new song without reading its lyrics first, now i eat up podcasts. 

SO. the question here is different. a hands-on learner, like i used to be more or less throughout my bachelor’s, is someone who absolutely cannot retain information unless they’ve written it down BY HAND at least once. pen and paper. (i’m still like this but i’ve learned to combine it with digital methods to go faster.) if this isn’t a hurdle for you, congratulations. your process is going to go that much faster, at least for french. (you’ll have to spend hours practicing your written arabic however, if you’re not familiar with the script.) 

now, if you’re a hands-on learner, you need to add an extra hour to your daily time. no matter how fast you write, you will take that time. and you cannot shorthand your way into languages. you need to understand how french is spelt, what accents it uses, that they put a space before exclamation points, question marks, and semicolons. (side tip: learn the IPA. it will be useful to you forever in language learning, at least for the romance languages.) i’m not gonna teach you how to make notes since i’ve never benefitted from copying someone else’s style, so if you don’t have a set method start establishing that. you need regularity and rhythm when you learn a language. my grammar notes look the same regardless of the language. i don’t have my french ones since it’s been years and i didn’t take good ones then anyway, but here’s my japanese and russian stuff. 

JAPANESE NOTES // RUSSIAN NOTES

now, it bears mentioning that these notes are NOT the notes i take when i don’t know shit. these are final level notes. they’re brief, idiosyncratic, and only reminders. something to refer to when i’m revising and suddenly forget a rule. the first notes i make are much more elaborate, whether they’re pretty or not. i’ve gradually lost the fucks i had about really going ham on academics so my russian notes are very messy, but my japanese ones from back in the day are magnificent. here’s a look. during lesson one i realised that japanese and my mother tongue, gujarati, are syntaxically similar as shit, and i started taking notes with references in gujarati. it sped up my learning process 2x while my french classmates were still going “BUT WHY IS IT LIKE THAT”. 

PRACTICAL GRAMMAR // THEORETICAL GRAMMAR

if you plan to learn more languages in the future, this will be so valuable. sometimes a phrase i learn in russian doesn’t make sense in its french explanation, but a phrase in english might use the same logic. bam, put down the translation in english then. you get what i’m saying? the more languages you learn, the easier it gets to learn languages. 

now if you’re a digital learner, i’ve got great news for you. duolingo and anki are your best friends. duolingo’s memed to hell and has a system that might not work for everyone, but they’ll do the brunt work of compiling grammar notes for you in the beginnings/ends of their lessons. note those down and transform them into anki flashcards, and you can learn grammar concepts without doing 20 exercises. (do those exercises if you can, though, nothing beats mindless practice.) now anki is an intimidating-looking but actually super intuitive app that basically builds digital flashcards for you and shows them to you in a rhythm based on your own learning speed. it’ll show you the front of a card, let’s say merde. you say the english translation out loud, shit, and hit enter. correct! was that easy? anki’ll show it to you in 10 minutes. hard? it’ll show you in 1 minute. super easy? merde won’t come up again until tomorrow. eventually you get so good at it that you can bury a card for 2 months. anki will also show you the same cards reversed, which is harder but trains you better. you’ll see shit and have to remember what it’s called in french, which is more difficult than you’d think it is. 

you can use anki for more than just vocab, like i mentioned. it’s a little tricky learning to convert grammar concepts into front/back flashcards, but you can do it. for example, here’s a sample of one of my russian grammar cards: 

front ^^

back once i hit enter^^

see? not that difficult. now don’t be an idiot like me who manually entered every single flashcard into anki. you can find pre-made packages online (but you can’t guarantee they’ll be correct) or you can make your own without killing your fingers. what you wanna do is open up a spreadsheet and make two columns, A for front of the card and B for back. it’ll look like this:

then you’re gonna save that spreadsheet as a .CVS (comma separated values) and import that into anki. bam, your flashcards are made for you with half the effort. there’s also a script floating around somewhere to make excel translate words automatically for you, but i don’t recommend that unless they’re really easy words. google translate can fuck up. reverso is your friend. 

you need to review your anki cards every day. it’ll take less and less time as you go along. i can review 300 russian cards in 15 minutes now. but you need to keep the rhythm going. download ankiapp and sync your cards, review them on commutes or in the hallway or whatever. trust me, it’s magic. 

apart from this, if a traditional textbook helps, go for that. i’ve always used textbooks and workbooks, more as supports than as principal methods, but it does help. it’s structured and organised and these people know how to train you. bescherelle is a good go-to for french. 

media is always a great way of immersion too, until you get to the country itself. it’ll show you how french people speak french. when i first came to france i didn’t have that experience and even though i spoke an arguably decent amount of french when i got here, it was like, if this is french then what the fuck was i learning in high school. if you like watching movies this is your chance. watch the classics first so that you can get an idea of french pop culture. amélie (though the pop culture aspect here is about shitting on it) and les intouchables, for starters. watch your favourite films, first subbed, then subbed and dubbed, then just dubbed. i watched all ten seasons of friends with french subs, it was wild. with music you want to start off with some indie-ish singers since they will universally sing softer and slower, making things easier to understand than idk, la tribu de dana. (if you’re into bts there’s a hilarious video of their baepsae choreo set to la tribu de dana.) anyway - angèle, cœur de pirate, céline dion, fréro delavega, uhhh that fucking french sufjan stevens. what’s his name. VIANNEY. don’t fucking listen to biglo and oli or like, fatal bazooka right away. you will not understand shit. i barely understand it. white people are wild. ooh listen to stromae. orelsan too, he’s a rapper but he has a relatively clean diction imo. he also sang the french opening for OPM. they call him orelsan-san in japan.

last but not the least: if you have the opportunity to interact in french with people, DO IT. native speakers will do their best to help you and be kind about it. people who learned french might sometimes be assholes from experience. it’s a whole superiority complex thing, and very hypocritical. anyway - online or IRL, wherever you can practice your french, do it. it’ll be immensely helpful. there’s nothing like the frustration of not being able to express simple things to get you motivated to get better. do your best to immerse yourself - changing the language on your devices can make a difference too. 

i think that’s all i have and again, i’m sorry for taking this long to finally deliver, thanks for your patience! if you have any specific questions don’t hesitate to hit me up, on anon or not. 

good luck - it’s not going to be the easiest but nothing is as gratifying as beginning to understand the workings of a language. you’re gonna love it!

#teesta talks for ts #uni tag #anons #replies

[valorandgold-archived]

Morgan and Megan Support Sets

(So I find myself having bursts of creativity and no direction to throw them in, and I kinda wanna keep it contained until the Solstice Event is officially over, which it’s not while I start typing this up, but who knows when it’ll be finished. I have a couple fanfics I’m working on, one that needs to be finished and another that’s just in the starting stages, but I also wanted to type out this since @vallablooded and I have talked at length about Megan’s supports with Morgan in Fates and I thought I’d make a full set out of the ideas we’ve discussed. I’ll try to do it the best I can.)

C-Support

Megan: Ahh, hello Morgan! I’ve been wanting to talk to you, if you have the time.

Morgan: Oh, sure I do! I was just about to head out to buy some books, but I don’t mind!

Megan: Well, I just wanted to thank you for coming with me, even though it was my choice to make and not yours, and it was a difficult one at that. 

Megan: I did want to ask why you followed me, though.

Morgan: No need to thank me at all! I was glad to follow you whichever way you went!

Morgan: As for why I followed you, it’s just, the sort of person you are, and your caring nature-...

Morgan: I don’t know. I’m not sure how to put it into words right now. You just have that kind of quality about you that makes me feel a strong loyalty to you.

Megan: Well, maybe you’ll figure out the words eventually. Speaking of which, you said you were about to go buy some books?

Morgan: Oh yeah! I keep myself occupied with books all the time when I’m not on the battlefield! Not just tactics books either, but different kinds of books!

Morgan: My favorites are actually stories of daring heroism and romance. I used to have reading sessions with my mother and my friends a lot in my homeland.

Megan: Maybe if you stop at my quarters later your purchase, we can read one of those books you’re going to purchase together.

Megan: Just...preferably not one on tactics.

Morgan: Haha, alright! I’ll hold you to it, Lady Megan!

----------

B-Support

Morgan: ‘...and with the Dark Demon injured, Prince Tyle was released from his grasp and his control, returning to the side of his faitfhul knight, Analisa!’

Morgan: ‘ “Analisa! I knew you would come! I never doubted you!” Tyle exclaimed, now that the two were reunited once again.’

Megan: ‘ “Of course I did, Prince Tyle. I owe so much to you. But more than that, I-” ‘

Morgan: ‘But the Demon King wasn’t finished yet! He amassed all his power to become a terrifying dragon!’ 

Morgan: ‘ “It will have to wait, Analisa. We have to stop the Demon King right here, right now!” ‘ ...and that’s the end of the chapter.

Megan: Ahh, and she was so close to telling Tyle her feelings about him too.

Morgan: I know! She just rescued him and everything! I thought it was going to happen! But I’m sure she’ll say after they defeat the Demon King.

Morgan: Now do you understand why I’m absolutely hooked on this book series?

Megan: Definitely. I’m going to have to read them all from the very start myself! 

Megan: I’m sure your summary of the series so far did it justice, though. I was interested in the book from the start!

Morgan: You know, I was wanting to try my hand at writing a story myself between reading these books, but I couldn’t come up with any ideas.

Morgan: But I think I finally have a great idea for a story now! Why don’t I write a chapter of my idea, or a synopsis of it, and read it to you next time?

Megan: That would be great! I’m not sure what gave you such a sudden burst of inspiration, but I’ll be looking forward to it, Morgan.

Morgan: Alright! I’m gonna go ahead and start working on it right now! *Runs off*

Megan: Morgan? Wait-!

Megan: ...ahh, he just never runs out of energy, does he? I envy him a bit sometimes.

----------

A-Support

Morgan: Lady Megan! I finally finished my synopsis. Are you ready to hear it?

Megan: Ah, yes, I’d love to hear it! What did you come up with?

Morgan: So the story starts out following a warrior from a faraway land, weary and without direction.

Morgan: He came to the land that the story is set in to try and track down three of his friends, but he had no clue where to start. Morgan: However, eventually he comes across this Princess, secluded away, but with a kind heart and a strong resolve.

Megan: Hmm...say Morgan? There’s something that sounds familiar about all this.

Morgan: I should hope so! Anyway, even though he does track down his friends, he finds that the Princess gives him direction and a newfound sense of purpose.

Morgan: So he dedicates himself to her, staying at her side from then on-...

Megan: ...no matter what she chooses? Morgan, is this...story about you and what you think of me?

Morgan: Well you did give me a lot of inspiration! Perfect writing material, in my book-...er wait, that wasn’t meant to be a pun. But I finally found the right words for why I followed you! Megan: *sniffle* Morgan: H-Huh? Lady Megan, did I say something wrong? Or was the incidental pun that bad.

Megan: No, Morgan, I’m just...so touched that you would think of your time around me to make a story like that. Thank you.

Morgan: No, thank you, Lady Megan. You gave me direction when I thought I had none!

Megan: Goodness, I”m so inspired, I might just have to try coming up with a brilliant story like that myself! I hope you don’t mind if either you or a literary mirror of you winds up being involved.

Morgan: Ha ha, go ahead! I’ll be waiting to see what you come up with all the anticipation I can muster!

----------

S-Support

Megan: Morgan! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all over!

Morgan: Ah, sorry, Lady Megan! I was just helping Jakob tidy everything up. What did you need?

Megan: You remember how I mentioned that I felt inspired to try and come up with a story? Well, I think I have a summary for you, if you’re willing to listen.

Morgan: Ah, of course I’m willing to listen, Lady Megan, you don’t even need to ask! Go right ahead!

Megan: Well the story begins similar to how part of your story starts, with an isolated Princess, cut off from most of the world. She meets this man, a warrior who claims to be from some far-off land and comes to trust and confide in him Megan: She also trusts in a mysterious songstress, who she meets when a huge chain of events about her true past and a choice she has to make starts to unfold.

Megan: But no matter what choice she makes, the warrior, who has dedicated himself to her, vows to follow her no matter what she decides on. He gives the Princess so much: strength in her convictions, resolve to push forward, hope for the future, and so many other things, but above all else...

Megan: ...love. Morgan: ...W-Wait...Lady Megan, your story...does this mean you-...?

Megan: Yes. I’m...I’m in love with you, Morgan. You’ve been there for me to rely on ever since we first met, and through all the time we’ve spent together and sharing stories, I’ve seen how compassionate, resolute, warm, strong and yet gentle you really are. You’re a light that keeps the darkness away for me.

Morgan: Lady Megan...

Megan: I know you swore an oath to me as my retainer, and if you don’t feel the same-

Morgan: No, wait, Lady-...I mean...Megan! I have to say, you’re forcing some serious rewrites on me right now.

Megan: Huh?

Morgan: There...may have been a part in my story about the warrior having an unrequited love for the Princess that I chose to left out when I was telling you about it.

Megan: There was...? Then-...?!

Morgan: Yeah! I...I love you too! I want to be with you, now and forever! From now on, let’s make our two stories one and the same!

Megan: You don’t know how happy that makes me, Morgan! We’ll make for a brilliant tale filled with romance and adventure about two people meant to be together carved out their own future! It will be a story for the ages!

Morgan: Well, you know what the say, Megan. Everyone loves a happy ending, and you’ve given me the happiest I could possibly have!

(Confession line) Morgan: No book I’ve ever read could compare to you! You’re just like a fairy tale come true!

#ooc #support set #vallablooded #morgan #headcanon #morgan headcanon #finally wrote out those supports like I kept saying I would #haha I hope this is okay but it's open to revisions if you feel they're needed

[rbeatz]

A Beautiful Tragedy: An Interview with Conrad Clifton

I met Conrad Clifton at an event and like most new producers I meet at these events, I immediately checked out his music when I got home. I was impressed by the versatility in his beats and eclectic nature to his sound. There were elements of hip-hop, trap, indie, latin, and dream synth oriented electronic music that had me dubbing his sound certainly as unique. I couldn’t quite put my finger on a specific genre, and at the same time, I couldn’t stop listening. When I normally hear someone who makes “beats,” I’m waiting for a top line (aka vocals) to help the track add another layer; however, Conrad’s beats stand alone and that need for a vocal element doesn’t necessarily exist. Although he has some vocalists on certain tracks.

Conrad Clifton has been praised by various publications. He is an Independent Music Award Winner for BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA EP. He was dubbed one of the Top 10 Standout Act at SXSW 2017 by Culture Trip. He performed at Billboard Hot 100 Festival in 2015 and has continued to work with artists and other producers in the industry. His sound production and arrangement narrative are super professional, and he does a lot of his acts LIVE. This is NEXT LEVEL if you ask me.

His newest album, Infinity Pool, was released this spring. I listen to this album while I work, while I clean my house, and I’ll throw it on in the background if I have a bunch of people over. It’s the perfect ambiance music, and I’ve heard through the grape vine that his live act really takes his music to the next level.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Conrad Clifton. You know the drill, click the Spotify embed below and read his full interview below to get the FULL Conrad Clifton experience.

INTERVIEW:

Where are you from and how has that shaped the musician you are today?

I grew up in the Midwest, where everything I listened to was also influenced different genres. I mainly listened to hip-hop, but being in the middle of the country, rap didn’t really have it’s own distinct sound, so we pulled heavily from the East Coast sound as well as West Coast and Dirty South. I came up listening to a lot of Wu-Tang, Nas, Snoop, Dr. Dre, OutKast and UGK. Hip-hop and the samples being used in their productions really exposed me to all different genres of music, so from that, I started studying songs from jazz, soul, indie rock and experimental electronic music. It wasn’t till much later that I got into dance music and started seeing how all these sounds and vibes fit together, or (more importantly) how they could fit together.

What instruments did you play when you were younger?

I studied piano for a few years when I was a kid. My parents got me lessons, but I had too much energy and would’ve rather been outside playing basketball or doing anything else that was actually fun, haha. So I didn’t stick with it, unfortunately. I retained just enough to be creative, now. Can’t really read music anymore. I just play by ear.

Are there an instruments that you currently wish you COULD play?

I’ve always wished that I could play the drums. Percussion really, really speaks to me. You can hear that in my music, I love the creative possibilities of what you can build with only percussion-like sounds.

Tell us the story of how you started creating music on your computer?

I use to play around with rap when I was really young, rapping to songs on the radio or rap instrumentals, but eventually I decided I really wanted to try to write lyrics and make songs. That’s what made me start producing; the necessity of original music to make songs to. I started using really lightweight programs like MTV Generator & Hip Hop eJay, where you just drag and drop samples into place on a timeline. I’ve come a loooong way since those days, thankfully. I graduated to hardware samplers, and then heavyweight DAWs like Cakewalk, Nuendo, Cubase, and ultimately ProTools. Now, I do all my work in Ableton.

What was your favorite studio moment when producing your latest album, Beautiful Tragedy?

Wow, I’m not sure. Probably when I was able to finesse my field recording Roll Call into a percussive transition going into Prince of Crown Heights. I actually recorded the sounds of the West Indian Day Parade, around the corner from my apartment. Then I layered up those live sounds with some tribal percussion that I use throughout POCH. It’s so important for an album to be more than just a collection of songs. It should breath. Like there should be moments, you know? That whole transition from track 1 through track 3 really gave the album a unique feel.

What do you like to do when you’re simply hanging out – aside from music?

I’m pretty heavy into movies. Thrillers and Sci-Fi mainly. And of course, that’s where you hear the most interesting and creative sound design and score. So even there, I can’t get away from it, haha. I’m determined to make music for movies some day. S/O to RZA and Trent Reznor.

Who are your musical influences?

I’m really influenced by “1-of-1” artists and producers, which is what I hope to become. Like, there’s only one Timbaland. Nobody could innovate the sound of a genre the way he did. There’s only one Four Tet, Flying Lotus, Hudson Mohawke, Thom Yorke or J Dilla. So it’s hard to be different. It would be much easier for me to go out and emulate the lit trap artist, or the most pop sounding future bass producer, and win. But that’s short-term thinking. Long-term it makes more sense to be genuine to your creativity and passion.

Who is one of your favorite acts right now to watch live?

Instrumentally, I’d say Bonobo. I love the way he makes use of the players in his band, and all of the sections of his music where he’ll bring in a full choir, or whatever’s necessary to fulfill his vision sonically. In terms of overall music and creative sound design, I love seeing Four Tet or Hudson Mohawke. The way they compose and deliver the music in a live format, and the music itself, really gets to me.

Who has been one of your favorite artists to collab with?

I’ve been working with some really amazing artists that everyone needs to hear. I plan on putting more music out with them in 2018. As far as more established artists, I really loved working with Yelawolf. We did a lot of work together in the past, and to see him become so successful has been really dope. He’s always been a true artist.

What are some of your favorite venues to play and why?

Soundpieces at Monarch in San Francisco was really dope. The sound system was incredible, and the crowd was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. So much love and good vibes from the people there. Also, the main room at Flash in DC was super lit for pretty much the same reasons: the sound system bangs, and the people were dope. In NYC, Rough Trade and Knitting Factory are really good too.

Have you played at any festivals?

Yes! Looking forward to doing more. Billboard Hot 100 Fest was sick, I actually got to watch Lil Wayne’s show from backstage. This year, SXSW was amazing. I got to do a showcase that included some of my favorite artists, like San Holo, Sweater Beats, Chrome Sparks and a lot more. I really loved NXNE in Toronto, as well.

What DAW do you use and why?

I’ve used so many over the years, but now, I do everything in Ableton, composing, mixing, mastering, and performing. It’s the best thing I’ve found that allows you to creatively make different pieces of music, and randomly trial-and-error how pieces fit together like a puzzle. It��s really freeing to be able to work that way, verses lining all your pieces up on a linear timeline, and building song sections that way. It’s also really fun to perform with, triggering audio clips, and throwing in sound effects on the fly.

Do you have a typical music production process? If yes, can you explain it?

Since I’m influenced by so many genres, it’s hard for me to just pick what type of song I want to make before starting on a track, so I don’t fight that. I usually just start by searching for a sound element or virtual instrument that inspires some feeling. After that, I follow it down a rabbit hole, in a way. Depending on what vibe I’m getting from the initial sounds I used and chord progression, I can start to hear/feel how the drums should sound, and I’ll adjust the tempo before starting to add percussion sounds. From there, it’s a whole building process, all driven by feeling. I just go were it takes me, and I never force it. I can’t even complete a song, unless I’m in love with it and feel like I could listen to it over and over.

What is your favorite MIDI Controller or instrument to produce with right now?

In addition to a few other keyboards, I use the Ableton Push 2 when producing and performing. It’s definitely my favorite piece of gear. The tech is deep, and it makes everything easier. I don’t even need to look at my laptop screen when I’m performing, and my sessions are really involved, so that says a lot.

What is one of your favorite or go-to VST Plugin?

I use Native Instruments Komplete, which is more of a collection of VSTs, but it’s definitely a go-to. So many options to choose from to spark ideas.

Do you have a key production tip for our young producers out there?

I’d encourage young producers to take a class on audio mixing, or take lessons from someone who knows. Sooner or later you’ll realize how important it is for you to be able to manipulate the sound spectrum, and be able to bring all your ideas to life. Plus, it’s great to not need someone else in order to finish your own song.

What food do you eat the most?

I’m vegan, so mostly fresh vegetables, big salads, and thick hearty soups.

What is next for Conrad Clifton?

Well Beautiful Tragedy came out this spring, and I released the Nitemare remixes in the summer, but I’m ready to put out some more new music. So I’m currently finishing a follow up to the album. It’ll have a crazy remix of  Time on it, plus some really vibey new originals, and a surprise VIP mix. Beautiful Tragedy was such a strong overall project, and I just want to continue where it leaves off, like a stream of consciousness in a way. You’ll understand when you hear this new EP. Can’t wait to share it!

from rBeatz Radio http://ift.tt/2yIX8RE

#rBeatz Radio #A Beautiful Tragedy: An Interview with Conrad Clifton #Music #Fun #Dance #Love #Baila