#who would miss the cold? (I do)

[leatherbookmark]

our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #shrimp gifs #it was just a very pretty scene i think #i'm laughing because i played around with curves -- as you do -- but then i had to manually bring the brightness down and make everything #more blue again because it's just better that way lol #god i'm having... so many little marbles bouncing around my head like #this post is already tagged with all the spoiler tags i think i can talk in here #the way it started i had No Inkling At All that this would be this kind of setting. so i didn't pay attention to the surroundings or all th #stuff. hell i could barely hear what they're saying because all my fancy schmancy english skills fall apart in the face of your normal soun #mixing. I MISSED THAT IZ AND ED SAID “LOVE” LIKE HELLO #but. but anyway. but. but once it was revealed that This Is All In Ed's Head. that hornigold is ed and everything is ed. man. god. #it's cold and wet and dark (ed likes warmth). ed was washed up on the shore with his face full of sand but THEN he got rescued by someone #who he hated and associated with all the pain and violence AND who then force-fed him soup so he could get better. who had pretty pieces of #glass hanging from his tent (there's no sun but the decoration itself is a promise of a pretty sighs when the rays of the sun hit #just right--) AND you can't forget the sandals. and the play-acting and aoughhhh EEEDDDDDDDD god he's so good HE'S SO GOOD #i dont think i should touch the delightful revenge scenes because they're dark as fuck and idk if the files i have are hq enough #to survive the becurvening. BUT. ed my love!!! i hope this is not where your insanities end

[sailforvalinor]

📔

Since last year, I’ve had an idea for a Harry Potter fic rattling around in my head prompted by the realization that Lily’s death is necessary for the love-magic-protection that enables Harry to survive both killing curses, but James’s isn’t—what does the world look like if James Potter somehow survives? I came to the conclusion that because the protection spell that Dumbledore originally uses to protect Harry until he comes of age applies to those of Lily’s blood, he would still want him to live with the Dursley’s, and thus Dumbledore decides that the best course of action is for 21 year old, traumatized, newly-widowed James to fake his death. It’s safest for Harry, the Death Eaters already think he’s dead, and it’s really useful for Dumbledore to have a piece on the chessboard that both the Death Eaters and the Ministry don’t know about. James isn’t thrilled about this, but he’s too distraught (and too used to Dumbledore being right about everything) to argue. He’s really only a few years out of school, after all.

I know I had worked out all the logical kinks on this one at some point but I don’t really remember now—but the fic would involve James working as a sort of secret agent for Dumbledore, a wild card, if you will, while keeping an eye on Harry from afar. This James would be a little different than the one we’re familiar with—a bit more mature and serious, and of course absolutely wracked with guilt. He hardly resembles who he used to be after losing Lily, and he’s pretty dang desperate not to make any more mistakes, lose anyone else.

Snape of course is one of the only other people who would know James was alive, and the bad blood between them is as terrible as ever, as Snape would blame him for “letting” Lily get killed. (As if James doesn’t blame himself enough.)

Sirius would also know, as he was the first one to Godric’s Hollow after the attack and would have found James, but that doesn’t do much good after he’s arrested. The only way I can think to workaround the fact that Dumbledore would know Sirius was innocent if he had talked to James is if James was so seriously incapacitated after the attack on Godric’s Hollow (don’t ask how I don’t know. WAIT MAYBE IN THIS VERSION VOLDEMORT ENCOUNTERS LILY FIRST AND HER LOVE MAGIC EXTENDS TO BOTH HARRY AND JAMES??? OH MY GOSH???) that the “trial” occurs before James is lucid enough to talk and Dumbledore gives evidence against Sirius because he assumes he’s the Secret Keeper.

Other than fulfilling Dumbledore’s wishes and keeping an eye on Harry, James spends a lot of his time trying to figure out how to break Sirius out of Azkaban. Maybe he succeeds earlier than in the original series? He also is trying to hunt down Peter, of course—probably spots him in the newspaper like Sirius does. Or maybe he sees him with Ron while watching Harry?

Does Remus know that James is alive? I’m gonna say yes, but Dumbledore doesn’t know that. It makes no sense for him not to, he’s the only friend he has left.

I figure by Prisoner of Azkaban, James has had enough of Dumbledore’s nonsense and reveals himself to Harry—it would be pretty dang poetic if it’s during the first patronus scene, and it IS actually him casting it from across the lake. How would Harry react to finding out he’s been alive this whole time? Idk, it would be complicated, but man I’m getting emotional just thinking about it.

Also, while it does make sense that Dumbledore wouldn’t want James to use his original wand, I know it makes the most sense for James to have acquired a spare one somewhere—but the concept of James Potter with a Glock hit me over the head with a broom, and I’d love to somehow finagle it into making sense because can you imagine? Someone in the HP universe with a gun?? The comedic potential???

A dementor: *appears*

Harry and Sirius: “EXPECTO—“

James: *shoots it in the face*

#james: *shoots dementor in the face* ‘AVADA KADAVRA’ #I’m a little obsessed with this James being kind of terrifying. not in a ‘cold calculating danger’ sort of way but a ‘white-hot #unpredictable burn-you-if-you-get-too-close’ sort of way. who knows what he’ll do. like you see Harry and he’s got a bit of an edge but #then you meet his dad and you’re like ‘oh THAT’S where it’s from.’ (ik people love the parallels between Harry and Lily but we are missing #out on the Harry and James ones). kind of obsessed with the idea of James being one of the only people Dumbledore was ever scared of #(especially if he ever found out about his REAL plans for Harry…) #also I keep thinking about one of the strange things to happen during Harry’s childhood (like the blue hair and him teleporting to the roof #of the school) is him being watched as a six year old by a stag on the playground. this happens multiple times #james potter #anyway does this make sense? it’s 3 am and I don’t know #also this James would 100% have a Moment about the resurrection stone

[arvoze]

the power i will receive in a matter of days will be astounding. watch out

#i am making this post to ramble. idk if it will actually change anything but i am trying 2 be hopeful . #ive been very. Rough all month thus far both physically and mentally and occasionally both at the same time #i am just hoping tht wat i am getting soon will help me do things bc ive rly had no energy to do anything at alllllll #and i rly dont want to like. Explode i would like to get things done #i have things i owe to people!!! i just dont have the spoons to do it Ever and it piles iup and up in my head #it fucking blows dude i have been stuck in a horrendous loop for like almost 6 months #i just want 2 be normal u know . i am hoping something will change soon #if it does not change in the nesxt few days when my shit arrives i think im like. Done For in general #like if im unable to get anything done in the next few days then i am going to very seriously have to reconsider #literally everything i do online i think. its a bit fucked up #ik it sounds like an exaggeration bu there is noooo way in hell i am Surviving like tihs !!!!!!! slash srs #i wish twitter circles did not die so i cold blow up in there bu back to ye olde norm of tumblr tags will have to do #also it feels less invasive so like. win for me ig. i do miss rambling nonstop in tags #i miss tumblr!! i miss a lot of old stuff. reminiscing for reasons both good and bad. the tumblr stuff is the good side tho #anyways i have been slowly chipping away at writing thigns this month and ik its like. not a lot at all. #but its a lot to *me* and when youre someone whos only capable of doing so mch its like. a big deal #(im writing pmdnd stuff finally getting back into gear nd stuff i have been trying to slowly draw the npcs #that ive made whilst trying to recover in other areas bu rghghrghgrgr i dont ewant to draw #i havent wanted to draw in a long long time blows up) #i shuld. stop typing actually i am rambling too much i jsujt have nowhere to mindlessly ramble anymore technicaly #i dont want to bug my friends w me being unwell all the time DFJKGHDFKGFG #mayne i will try to ccontinue with the npcs. we will see based on if i post again in the next 30 minutes

[aropride]

im so fucking tired it's unreal i dont want to Do anything i just want to lie in bed for the rest of my life.

#text #trying not to think about how fucked i am if i fail this semester. w hich is looking likelier and likelier with every missed assignmetn #also apparentlyu my gov professor sent ellen a rly nice email sayinfg that she could tell im trying and that she appreciates that #and she emaield me saying smiliar and. :(((<3 god. #guy who cries really hard when authority figures are kind towards him #i need to just. get stuff done i need to just keep trying #but im so so exhausted #i want to go to sleep but its room check week and idk if my RA is doing room checks Tonight or later this week #i dont want to be in here when they do them bc im anxious #but i dont want to be in public either #and i cant be outaide bc its very cold. #well ig i could but i wouldnt be able to be on my puter bc my fingers would get so cold you understand #i need to find a dark quiet private room to hang out in that isny my room and theres nobody else in there

[rossithepixie]

can't lie.. Childe gets some great fighting sequences.

Also you guys have no idea how much restraint it took me to not liveblog me playing the main quest in fontaine. No idea. I fucking loved it though.

#I now have two dragon husbands #I miss kaeya though. Gonna get that second key and unlock the first part to our date #Also good thing i like the cold because i will go bang down the door to child's house #he's had me worried sick #also i'd risk it all for the knave #i said it before but the children of the house of the hearth may call her father but i would absolutely call her daddy #i wish i knew how much was going to love navia back when her banner was active but i hadn't gotten to her by a long shot yet while that #was going on #storywise both sumeru and fountaine knocked it out of the park for me storywise #both made it hard for me to put the game down #also who do i thank wriothesley's ass? i still bet it's full of trauma #can't believe childe and his stupid dramatic thumbs down before he ----- #I should smack him for stressing me out #he'd like that though i bet #i have so many more thoughts #also paimon has grown on me #like a fungus #a cute fungus #another thing! I know i mentioned child's fight sequences but honestly the cut scenes through this arc were overall great #no one can prove i cried with neuvillette at the end #my cat is an unreliable witness

[starwritesficsandstuff]

Is it okay If I ask if you're still writing the adventure time Tiffany fanfiction

(chapters I mean)

It's always okay to ask for updates on a fic's status, and yes! I am still working on it. I slowed down quite a bit because of a number of factors (mostly work and school), but I'm still chipping away at it. The rough draft is four chapters away from being finished, and soon I will be proofing the next chapter (so hopefully there won't be any spelling/grammar issues this time lol) and doing last minute edits and then it will be posted.

I really like the Tiffany fic and my ideas for it. It will be finished sometime this year.

#Originally there was actually going to be a sequel of sorts but idk if I still want to because it was very. Idk. Speculative headcanonish? #Kind of exploring the reincarnation cycle from the perspective of someone in the afterlife who misses a friend #they will never see again as they once were because they reincarnated and now they'll be someone else forever #It was going to be based off of First (also by Cold War Kids) and the title was most likely going to be 'How Am I The Lucky One?' #We'll see if it ever comes to fruition. If anything the sequel would have been shorter. #Also Shermy and Beth would have been major characters and it would have explored Tiff and Jermaine's bond as brothers in the future #Alright no more rambling tags lol I have homework to do #starry talks about writing #ask answered #Fic: It's Dangerous Not To Feel Loved

[trixstriforce]

there is something to be said about the Triforce trio and the Judge, Jury, and Executioner dynamic i think they were always meant to have when working in tandem. Alttp!Link was called the Juror of Courage, i think there is something to be said about how link is meant to be the jury of ur peers, the most grounded of the trio who may not be as impartial or Wise as a Judge or vicious or Powerful as an Executioner but hes the one with the final say to see if u are beyond saving or if there is a chance for u to change, he is the imperfect party who has the most mortal lens of which to view the world.

ive seen ppl call Link an executioner but i dont think thats true at all, he may decide one fate but he doesnt attack someone unless hes sure they are guilty or will hurt someone else, hes not a killer but a protector at heart trying his best to uphold justice and save ppl

#trix posts #lore rambles #loz #link #its mainly about link #i think ppl who make link a grimdark badass GREATLY miss the point of the triforce trio and their balance #power at its worst is senslessly violent #wisdom at it worst is cold and detacted #courage at its worst? selfish and unempathtic #do NOT make him cruel and yall making bitter links r borderign on missing the point #like yeah a regualr guy would feel bitter. zelda would be bitter. gnaondorf would be bitter. linkw ouldnt #thats why its link and not them. he may lament his chocies and ache for those along the way but he wont regret what he had to do #bc he always does what he thinks is best and will help the msot ppl even if it kills him. thats who he is

[chuchuscoolhat]

Is Chuuya a cat guy asking for maybe a cat girl or no

❝ Nah, I'm more of a dog kinda person. If I had the time, I'd take nine of them but as how things are going, I'd rather give that chance to someone else. ❞ Money wasn't an issue after all, yet even he was aware that things like that couldn't just be solved with money or cheap love. With arms sprawled around the back of the sofa, he throws his head back as his gaze wanders lost in the ceiling, pondering for a bit about the poster of puppies he saw hanged on the town's headboard not too long ago. Call it a longing for some sense of normalcy in his life or perhaps something tied to that unconscious aptitude he had for protecting . Caring . It didn't end up mattering much as it all ended up feeling strangely finite and distant.

Tilting his head slightly to the side, he looks up from under his hat at Ashmi's eyes ❝ However by the look in your eyes, somethin' tells me you are searching for another answer, doll. ❞

#predeition #;c.huuya #/me on the side: UMM UMM UM UM UM UM UM UMMM UMM- #/LISTEN!!!!! in this spin off of b.sd; there's this episode where c.huuya walks past an adoption post about puppies and HIS EYES SPARKLE FO #*FOR A LIL #and he mentions how he would like to adopt them all but not having the means to do so #AND THEN AT A DIFF POINT THAT- if he saw one shriveling out in the cold;; 'i'd take care of it for life' -EYES SPARKLING- #and then i also jump into it in association for him taking in the role of protecting those around him and being the one who cares #like if in all the groups he's ever been he had a role (besides being very smart/clever + the brute force) #it would be of the protecting one; despite his circumstances he always cares even if it never ends up working out #its like in a pack of dogs; the strong one making sure the rest are ok #i dunno i neverhad a cat but dogs always gave me that pack feel #(not talking about large cats and their whole pack okko i mean regular cats) #ANYWAYS!! #also i remember u talking about how a.shmi's pupils dilate when something/someone she's interested in appears and #i assumed that she's;; -bats eyelashes at c.huuya- #he can notice a lil sparkle there; he isn't dense in that sense heh #/dw miss a.shmi im sure that he would have a spot for a catgirl OIHETRUT #/also unrelated but i find it cute their height difference even while sitting

[yousaytomato]

a customer stroked my arm hair at work today

#this is a new one #she like. reached out and moved her hand back and forth #and was like 'oh!' #and i was like 'haha. yeah. i need it its cold!' #because I didn't know what else to do 😭 #woes of emily #btw i work in like. a professional place. not somewhere where this would be deemed normal 😂 #telling yall because i don't know who else to tell #also i got the early bus in and rn I'm waiting for the late bus home because I missed my bus :(

[fingertipsmp3]

Like okay. I’m glad I’m my father’s daughter but also do I have to, on every level, be my father’s daughter

#like okay. looking Exactly Like Him i can deal with. the round face and chubby cheeks and dark eyes and thick hair? good #the height and the massive shoulders are extremely useful when weird men try anything. i just stand up and end their careers #but did i HAVE to get his hypermobile knee joints?? is that something i really had to be dealing with????!??? #also i just want to point out that he fucked them up playing cricket. i didn’t even get to play cricket. i have so far dislocated my right #knee four times just by falling down in my house (thrice) and at work (once) #the whole thing where i’ve inherited his habit of sitting in the corner with a book and a cup of tea and not resurfacing is fine #i can deal with it. also lurking in the doorway watching tv and forgetting about the food i was making. and taking a bath for like 2 hours #with a book. regular. and liking dogs #did i have to be oblivious with money though? did i have to be incapable of budgeting?? #did i have to get his temper?? i mean i haven’t thrown anybody through a glass door yet but liiiiiike #i’ll catch myself in a cold rage doing something toxic or petty or just downright unacceptable and be like hmm. who does THIS remind me of #perhaps my father politely asking his neighbour to not mow his lawn at 5am and them; when the neighbour refused; leaving the radetsky march #playing full blast on repeat and going away for a weekend #also!! the competitive bullshit. what kind of father NEVER lets his kid win a game. like not even once #my dad that’s who. i don’t think i ever once beat him at anything. maybe one day i would have #i just miss him. but in a way he’s not really gone. he passed on so much of himself to me and then left #personal

[criticalrolo]

folks i have put in the legwork to try to understand the jgy apologist side of the fandom since that seems to be So Many People... I thought that maybe the tv show elevated his crimes to make it a more black and white villain situation but then I read what he does in the novels and it is WAY WORSE... i literally feel like it's 2012 and people are writing loki-style apologism for "his childhood was very sad (extremely true it was horrible) and that's why the crimes are okay (the crimes are so so many murders and SA because his feelings and desires are more important than People's Lives)"

#like it is truly SO SO SO MUCH murder and SA and betrayal. SO MUCH of that. like hes. squarely evil. am i MISSING SOMETHING #like the way he kills/SAs his admittedly horrible father ALONE would put him squarely in. This Guy Is Genuinely Evil territory #i literally feel like there has to be information i am missing because that alone (and then having the 25 sex workers killed immediately) #puts him in like?? This Is A Vicious Villain territory to me??? but it doesn't seem like people like him for Hes A Villain... it feels like #EXTREMELY loki 2012 did nothing wrong vibes. loki was 100% trying to do a genocide in the first thor movie #i dont CAAAre how sad his backstory is. it is genuinely tragic and also he doesn't get to murder whoever he feels like because of it #i literally am doing the legwork to try to figure out wtf people are talking about but I feel like every single argument I can trump with #playing the he orchestrates Mass Murder/SA card?????????? #plus like. hes been killing people he doesn't like From The Beginning #that guard who was tormenting him was terrible. and yet he DOES murder him in cold blood and try to frame a different mass murderer for it #IDK i just feel like IM the crazy one here because theres SO many fans of his and I just do not get it AT ALL #i DO love villains I get it!! but that is not the flavor of discourse ive seen about this guy. ANYWAYYYYYY

[pebblezone]

I need more haters I need violence and fighting

#talkingcore #fun fact! ​the horse was the first horse webkinz! #this is false I don’t have the confrontational skills for haters or maybe they just don’t have enough swag to be confronted by me #dude I figured out how to do animations and sounds in PowerPoint and I think it’s increased my swag by like at least 2. #finished one but fuck it man I’m making more I had more thoughts I need to solidify more thoughts #I’ll scoop back to The Beach Boys eventually (probably not) #In The Meantime Though trying to decide if seras would’ve been an animal jam kid or club penguin kid (real answer is none she’s be idk 26? #also Kenny chesney let me down man was doing so well and Bam suddenly I’m faced with wannabe Jimmy buffet cowboy Christmas album #GIRL STOP SCREAMING IN THE HALL IT’S TUESDAY YOURE SOBER GOD DAMN anyway I just wanted the sad alcoholic tunes #thinking about that dude who was like I made this drink that smells like sunscreen it’s bad But like I want it. I want to consume sunscreen #oh yeah dining hall had matzo ball soup. would I ever seek her out? no but she doesn’t taste like dog water! #happy passover! I’m not missing out on the At Home family experience because my grandpa got Covid. thought it was a cold. #refused to wear a mask. got my mom and grandma sick. and they (grandparents) haven’t tested since so I guess they aren’t hosting! #dude I want to experience a corn pit so bad they’re like the pinacle of sensory good times Fuck it people other than babies deserve corn pit

[rimouskis]

i am by NO means a role model for you (you don't know me! you don't follow me!) but i am a woman in my thirties who is unmarried and childless and i just run around visiting friends around the world, going on trips (with mostly tumblr people, tbh! i'm going to the winter classic this year with a tumblr friend!) and seeing hockey games. we do exist - all over the place, in fact! there is an increasing number of us! tumblr is a great place for us to find each other and i am so glad it exists.

i do feel some anxiety about falling in love (i really would like to find my 'person') but i no longer feel anxiety about whether what i'm doing is 'unconventional' or not. other people still have a hard time with it (my employees have probed on why i'm single, for example) but i sleep fine at night knowing that i am living my life in the way that *i* choose, not in the way that was chosen for me.

basically i am telling you that we're out there, we're successful and happy, and you're going to be more than fine. live deliciously! soak up every second of it!

I wouldst like to live deliciously

#that's the goal! #I really don't know why I get worked up about it #like intellectually I'm really very content with how things are going #I mean emotionally I genuinely do not even know if I Yearn for romance. some switch in me just did not get flipped and I am in fact missing #some crucial typical/normative human emotions therein lol but we've discussed that before #BUT I TOO WOULD LIKE A PERSON. DEAR UNIVERSE PLEASE DELIVER UNTO ME A PERSON WHO GETS TO GO ON ADVENTURES WITH ME ALL THE TIME #I like little adventures but little adventures with other people >>>> little adventures by oneself #anyways we sound like we have a lot in common you should message me #I hope you have a good time at the classic! boston in winter sounds cold haha #I think I angst about things because I am—at my core—lonesome and though I really do enjoy my life #I am consistently searching for a certain brand of companionship that is very fleeting and since I don't really date I can't find the right #commitment level that will match what I keep Endlessly Searching for #[shakes fist] universe you are so fickle #anyway I am at heart an ethical hedonist ALL I WISH IS TO LIVE DELICIOUSLY. truly what else is the point. aside from being good to people.

[afieldinengland]

#thinking about sacrificial kings……. robin redbreast. punch the fool. jesus christ. john barleycorn #‘for you have chosen the role of king for a day— and who but a fool would do that?’ #even milo tindle in sleuth is brought as a sacrifice. ‘now in your moment of dying you are yourself’ #penda as he appeared to stephen franklin. last pagan king of england dying in the face of a sickened future but willing the flame to flicker #nonetheless in the fen. saturnalia— for howie to be tugged from influence to influence as king of his own demise. you know #‘all of it is for you and none of it is yours’. i’ve been contemplating yule on summerisle— if you haven’t read #the novelisation you’ve missed the interaction of his lordship and oak cutting down the mistletoe #i know beltane was the first time those good folk ever sacrificed a human being— and an outsider at that. so i don’t think they’d offer #a king in a bloody sense. but perhaps his lordship would present himself low and white-robed and holly-berried #for nuada’s midwinter ritual. i saw father-sun couple as teaser with mother-moon as boy yesterday #so why would it not be the parallel-inversion upon summerisle? some love rite amid the cold stones and a feast of kingly harvest afterward. #oh. we crown the king we reap the king we kill the king we eat the king. natural in the nut-brown bowl

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

i feel like noting something rn for the non-brazilians

rozzi’s journal has a moment that implies she was nicknamed bela/bella (from isabela, or isabella, depends on whether the parent is close or distant from the brazilian equivalent of kayghtleighn parents, which is something like my sister’s classmate who was named ysabelly)

that wouldn’t happen, i think. i’ve only ever seen isa as a nickname for isabela. partially because, like

you know how calling someone bella is like ooo it sounds ~foreign~ so americans pull that shit all the time in media with a foreigner that’d speak french, italian, or spanish when they’re flirting with a lady?

it’s not a foreign word here. when directed towards a person it’s basically like saying they’re gorgeous or beautiful. brazilian translation of beauty in beauty and the beast is bela

it’s choosing to call a little girl a word that deliberately means beautiful. yeah, there’s non-weird connotations, but it would sound kinda weird and a bit creepy, so if you had the choice you’d just pick the other part of the name that will not sound weird

realistically she’d be nicknamed isa and to me it’s mildly funny that they could not get the names 100% right every time because of a technicality

#not a quote #to explain that last bit in a tiny bit more detail #marcelo is definitely a realistic name. just not a name i picture in a kid. i picture my uncles or the guy in my college class #who's like married with kids #but when they had isol they introduced francisco. which. I GUESS. MAYBE. IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE #i'm not gonna say no brazilian is named francisco but i'm gonna say it's extremely unlikely #more of an argentinian name i'd say. missed your dart in the world map a bit #isabela is the perfect name. pretty. age-appropriate generally. very common #but that bella fucking shot me dead upon first reading #i simply cannot imagine that happening ever #i guess it was a catholic orphanage. there's a joke about catholicism in here somewhere #today has been weird! i have been reading about the cold war and the brazilian dictatorship and then bella #all to the tune of the pression (você é você). very hart floyd song #i noticed the period of the cold war matched with the dictatorship and researched it a tiny bit #you would be surprised at how all brazilian calamities had us-american involvement somewhere! #'it can't be all of-' it is! every single time it's 'and also the us slipped a fifty to this party because brazil being in disarray helps' #in this particular case the dictatorship was good for not letting us have communism #so they helped finance a coup! wouldn't be the first or last time they do that! #apparently jfk was one of the people who was suggesting it first too. 46 days before getting shot in the head #which is the only thing keeping me from getting angry right now because that's so funny #new stupid jfk assassination theory! it was actually brazil all along! you thought it was russia or the cia? it was brazil baby #cebolinha did it. tudo de acoldo com o plano >:) #sometimes you make jokes just for you

[the-trans-dragon]

.

#when I start trying to prepare to move—it feels like the coldness of the bare floors creeps up into my blood and chest and heart and throat. #I stare at a single object and wonder if I’ll miss it or not. #I make a pile to donate. a pile to keep. a pile I might donate if I decide I won’t miss it too painfully. a pile I’ll miss but I don’t wsnt #to keep- I want to give away to someone who will love it like I did. a pile to ask my mom if she wants it for sentiment. a pile for #things that are trash but have salvageable components I can remove before throwing away. a pile of salvaged components that haven’t found a #use yet. a pile of things that are trash unless I find a way to fix them. a pile for a single item- a feather from my childhood pet bird #a pile of my old cat’s favorite planet and toy. a pile for gifts I was given that I never used but still treasure as they sit on a shelf. #a pile of fun rocks #a pile of paper clips that started as just office supplies but now they’re 15 years old and they remind me of warm summer childhood day #scraps of string and tiny empty boxes and wires to unknown electronics and acrylic paint that is too dry to donate but I could still use it #because I think it’s fun to do the work to re-pulverize it and turn it into pigmented paste again #a comb missing half its teeth but I can’t remember if it was a gift or not so I keep it just in case #a tiny pillow. is it even mine? it isn’t trash but a thrift store would probably just throw it away. but it isn’t trash so I keep it #a box of assorted nuts and screws and a tiny little jar that I know I’ll find the perfect use for one dayS #a little bag like the kind you get when you buy a bag of polished rocks. inside it are delicately folded soda pop bottle labels from #a birthday long long ago. #a small box of sequins I’ve had as long as I can remember. maybe I’ll make something with them so I can justify keeping them. #old clothes I loved that are too tattered to donate but might fit me again one day or make good fabric for something else #a single old sock but it’s elastic is still good and I should use the elastic for something because I’m always wishing I had some to spare #tickets to a state fair. booklet for a play i saw. graduation photo. a polite birthday card from a childhood nemesis. #it’s so hard to get rid of those things. it feels like throwing away my childhood. and I had a rough childhood! I don’t wanna throw away the #GOOD parts of it. I need those parts. I guess they’ll still be there even without the objects. but… #I can’t remember the Memories without the Objects. they are my memories. #maybe I should just start by filling boxes with Memory Objects. and once I’ve got them all together. I can see if I can part ways with any. #and if I can’t—well #at least they’ll be packed up. #I wish my medicine wasn’t a political debate… oh well. it’s always been hard to get meds. though I’ve never considered moving over it #I wonder if my surgeon will have time to for our consult before. my doctor tried to assure me that my PCOS would justify the surgery but I #I read the bill and it says No Removal Of Healthy Organs Associated With Your Sex Unless You Are In Danger Of Imminent Death #And I’m not dying from PCOS… I’m just like… Chronically ill from the chronic blood loss and overworked pain neurons and sometimes miss